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Well it's official.

As was long suspected in my family- my Aunt just confirmed it.

My Aunty Pat was fingered (without her consent) at a Bruce Hornsby and the Range concert in 1986.

The assailant is still at large to this day.

There is a reward in the form of a vintage McDonalds Free 6 Piece McNugget Gift Certificate and my family's undying gratitude.

Prayers UP for Auntie Pat!!!

by Anonymousreply 21November 19, 2023 7:52 AM

Was she on stage at the time? Bruce is obviously known for his magic fingers ...

by Anonymousreply 1November 18, 2023 4:41 PM

The assailant no doubt is still sniffing his finger.

by Anonymousreply 2November 18, 2023 4:45 PM


by Anonymousreply 3November 18, 2023 4:46 PM

Did Aunty Pat often consent to getting fingered?

by Anonymousreply 4November 18, 2023 4:50 PM


Now I am damned mad.

We appreciate your support.

by Anonymousreply 5November 18, 2023 5:32 PM


No, not this time.

by Anonymousreply 6November 18, 2023 5:49 PM

OP’s auntie

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 7November 18, 2023 6:27 PM

Get a job.

by Anonymousreply 8November 18, 2023 7:13 PM

OP, please tell your Aunty Pat that we're really sorry this happened to her. I guess it's just like Bruce Hornsby says: That's just the way it is, some things will never change....

by Anonymousreply 9November 18, 2023 10:52 PM

LOL R9- I thought of the exact same thing and song!!!!!

In fact, isn't this their only fucking song?

Aunty Pat sends her kindest regards.

by Anonymousreply 10November 18, 2023 11:31 PM

Patty got a pinky in her pussy?

by Anonymousreply 11November 18, 2023 11:33 PM

Some things will never change doo dooo do do do

by Anonymousreply 12November 18, 2023 11:35 PM

Patty is such a show off.

by Anonymousreply 13November 18, 2023 11:43 PM

A stranger fingered Aunty Pat

Hornsby said “I can do that. I can do that.”

by Anonymousreply 14November 18, 2023 11:49 PM

Is she going to file a civil suit so she can have a cash payday ?

by Anonymousreply 15November 19, 2023 1:10 AM

It's much nicer with Suzanne Somers in the Bellagio fountain.

by Anonymousreply 16November 19, 2023 2:16 AM

I was molested.

by Anonymousreply 17November 19, 2023 2:20 AM

Did it happen while she was crowd surfing? I bet it did. Crowd surfing is just Satan’s way of promoting unwanted fingering.

by Anonymousreply 18November 19, 2023 2:22 AM

Was this in Los Angeles? I was there! I saw no fingering. However, Diana Canova was in the front row, minding her own business.

by Anonymousreply 19November 19, 2023 5:40 AM

Hornsby just isn’t the same without his old band. He doesn’t have the range.

by Anonymousreply 20November 19, 2023 5:47 AM

This is hilarious. Thank you OP

by Anonymousreply 21November 19, 2023 7:52 AM
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