I'm Mother, feeling adventurous, adding a bay leaf to the soup.
Let's be a WASP family welcoming their gay son's ethnic lover for the very first time
|by Anonymous||reply 105||November 22, 2023 1:50 PM|
I'm Mumsy having Maria the "help" serve lobster to the dinner guests.
And when Maria spills butter on one of the guets, Mumsy immediately exclaims, "It's so hard to find good help these days. I mean, you can barely find any that speak Engl....oh, dear."
Meanwhile, your new boyfriend Jose is squirming in his seat.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||November 17, 2023 5:14 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 2||November 17, 2023 5:17 AM|
Well that overwrought and humorless R1 flopped harder than the straight brother's display of Ivy League Intersectional Rhetorics 101.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||November 17, 2023 5:20 AM|
I'm the credit and background check they've already performed on 4 generations of the family.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||November 17, 2023 5:24 AM|
Buck would've never brought an ethnic lover over for dinner.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||November 17, 2023 5:25 AM|
Something like this...
|by Anonymous||reply 6||November 17, 2023 5:34 AM|
We’ll just tell everyone he’s from Spain.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||November 17, 2023 5:53 AM|
Is that little baby Matt Damon?
|by Anonymous||reply 8||November 17, 2023 5:57 AM|
Do you eat pork?
|by Anonymous||reply 9||November 17, 2023 5:59 AM|
“In honour of your visitation, I’ve prepared Corn chowder, corned beef, corn-brined cabbage, and corn on the cob!”
“ Look at my gums. You really can’t look away, can you? All of us have these gums. It gives my brother-in-law something to do.”
“It’s time for the candy-corn whiskey cocktails!”
|by Anonymous||reply 10||November 17, 2023 6:08 AM|
I'm the inventory of valuables. I'll be consulted again immediately after the boyfriend leaves.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||November 17, 2023 7:04 AM|
I’m Mother’s perfect manners and graciousness that do not waiver based upon someone’s ethnicity or social status, a guest in our home feels welcome and appreciated. Any untoward behavior is a sign of low-breeding
|by Anonymous||reply 12||November 17, 2023 12:17 PM|
I took my Jewish boyfriend home to meet my parents. My mother had made a platter of ham sandwiches. She knew what she was doing as she had grown up with Jewish neighbours. She was always a twisted piece of work.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||November 17, 2023 12:20 PM|
Just look up the clip of Barbara Bush at the RNC in 1984, where she talks about "the little brown ones" or some such bigotry masquerading as humor, when talking about her own grandchildren...Lovely.
I cannot imagine any guest at the dinner table in my home growing up being treated like Julia Roberts's character was in Mystic Pizza from the scene R6 posted.
If the mother were a true hostess, she would have immediately recognized that the young woman was not familiar with eating lobster and would help her out. The father would have never made snide comments about her work. Make every guest in your home feel welcome and show genuine interest in them.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||November 17, 2023 12:48 PM|
Correct R14. But this is a treacly Hollywood movie filled with boilerplate drama and class conflict.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||November 17, 2023 12:51 PM|
I’m the vicious face slapping at the table
|by Anonymous||reply 16||November 17, 2023 12:52 PM|
I’m the shock and horror on the mother’s face that they won’t have to deal with because the family isn’t “ethnic”. I’m also the mother not blaming the boyfriend for “turning my son gay” like the “ethnic” mother would.
And finally I’m the exemption from WASP status because the family doesn’t go to church.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||November 17, 2023 1:12 PM|
I‘m the 2nd and 3rd bottles of gin that the son is sent to bring the pantry. “Well, Kip, looks like your father’s glass is empty again. Be a dear, won’t you?”
|by Anonymous||reply 18||November 17, 2023 1:25 PM|
[quote]I’m Mother’s perfect manners and graciousness that do not waiver based upon someone’s ethnicity or social status, a guest in our home feels welcome and appreciated.
Oh, double dear!
|by Anonymous||reply 19||November 17, 2023 1:28 PM|
It's nice to finally meat you, you look so cute and your skin is as dark as I thought it would be. 😁
|by Anonymous||reply 20||November 17, 2023 1:35 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 21||November 17, 2023 1:35 PM|
Spence, would you like another cocktail?
|by Anonymous||reply 22||November 17, 2023 1:36 PM|
Meat ane Greet
|by Anonymous||reply 23||November 17, 2023 1:37 PM|
No, I understand your parents are from Philadelphia, but where are they....FROM??
|by Anonymous||reply 24||November 17, 2023 1:39 PM|
I'm the curried mayonnaise finger sandwiches.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||November 17, 2023 1:41 PM|
I'm the curdled smiles
|by Anonymous||reply 26||November 17, 2023 1:41 PM|
Whisper from Gran: “Well, it’s not like they’re going to have children.”
|by Anonymous||reply 27||November 17, 2023 1:44 PM|
I’m the teenage Jewish girl who uses the term WASP as if it were still relevant.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||November 17, 2023 1:45 PM|
I'm the White supremacist neighbors the family detests, so they happily invite any brown person over at any time just to annoy them
|by Anonymous||reply 29||November 17, 2023 1:58 PM|
I'm the lively dinner table discussion about race passing featuring Buffy Sainte-Marie, Carol Channing, and Anita Hemmings, the black passer who turned out to be the first black graduate of Vassar, 40 years before Vassar integrated. Grammy Charlotte, Vassar '57, gets a kick out of Anita. Charlotte had a negro girlfriend in Greenwich Village in the 60s.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||November 17, 2023 2:40 PM|
I'm the closeted 6yo nephew who just figured out a few things.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||November 17, 2023 2:45 PM|
I'm the proud declaration that Sammy Davis, Jr. was always the most beloved entertainer in the household.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||November 17, 2023 2:52 PM|
I’m the International Foods aisle at the grocery store, visited after a thorough Google search of foods with which the family guest might be comfortable.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||November 17, 2023 2:57 PM|
I'm the dad, squirming at the knowledge that my 5'5" blonde son, who is majoring in modern dance, definitely takes it up the can from his 6'4" Black linebacker "partner."
|by Anonymous||reply 34||November 17, 2023 3:11 PM|
I'm the dad, getting harder than a rock at the knowledge that my 5'5" blonde son, who is majoring in modern dance, definitely takes it up the can from his 6'4" Black linebacker "partner."
I can't get up from the table because reasons.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||November 17, 2023 3:27 PM|
I’m Aunt Margo’s mentioning that GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER is one of her favorite films.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||November 17, 2023 3:33 PM|
These threads are always so circa 1983, the big two upper middle class WASP stereotypes that still hold true in my experience are that they don’t expect to eat particularly well during social occasions but take great pains to ensure there is tons of booze on hand and that they all eventually become obsessed with birds. Every WASP sometime after they turn 35 will be unable to resist telling you about a bird they saw recently. They’re way more excited kestrels than anybody’s blatino husbear.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||November 17, 2023 3:50 PM|
I'm the oldest sister. I'm not here because I've been locked in a "mental health facility" for the last 21 years. This happened after I told mommy that daddy raped me.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||November 17, 2023 3:58 PM|
“Are there parrots and toucans where you’re from Manny?”
|by Anonymous||reply 39||November 17, 2023 4:01 PM|
R38 Cousin Eugenia is still in one of those for a nervous condition (lesbian).
|by Anonymous||reply 40||November 17, 2023 4:02 PM|
"Well, between you being gay and being an alcoholic, I'd rather you be gay."
|by Anonymous||reply 41||November 17, 2023 4:21 PM|
I'm the dad, rushing off to the bathroom to rub one out at the knowledge that my 5'5" blonde son, who is majoring in modern dance, definitely takes it up the can from his 6'4" Black linebacker "partner."
|by Anonymous||reply 42||November 17, 2023 4:25 PM|
I’m this paraphrased Family Guy exchange:
“My, Brighton, what a subpar boyfriend.”
“Perhaps I can’t choose a man, but what I can bring is a little grace and sophistication to the table.”
“Penny, did I tell you your son is a whore?”
|by Anonymous||reply 43||November 17, 2023 4:27 PM|
Dad: Are you good at sports? You interested in a conservatorship.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||November 17, 2023 4:29 PM|
“All your parents do is work? Don’t they enjoy any pastimes? Life is too short to be run by someone else. We always taught our kids money grew on trees.”
|by Anonymous||reply 45||November 17, 2023 4:40 PM|
I'm the kick in the shins WASP mother gives WASP father under the table when he innocently asks the couple, "So . . . how did you two meet"?
|by Anonymous||reply 46||November 17, 2023 4:47 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 47||November 17, 2023 4:49 PM|
Who’s the bottom? Says the Granny with no filter
|by Anonymous||reply 48||November 17, 2023 4:50 PM|
"Eleanor Roosevelt was a rug muncher!"
|by Anonymous||reply 49||November 17, 2023 4:56 PM|
I'm the Flowers in the Attic.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||November 17, 2023 5:05 PM|
[quote] I cannot imagine any guest at the dinner table in my home growing up being treated like Julia Roberts's character was in Mystic Pizza from the scene R6 posted.
[quote] If the mother were a true hostess, she would have immediately recognized that the young woman was not familiar with eating lobster and would help her out.
Actually, that's not why Daisy was fussing over the lobster.
It's because her mother and all her Portugese community were lobster fisherman and worked with lobsters all day long.
Daisy's family had lobster filling up in the fridge, and coming out of their ears.
Daisy hated lobster, and her boyfriend's family was serving it for dinner as a "luxury."
|by Anonymous||reply 51||November 17, 2023 5:08 PM|
I'm the Biden family inviting their daughter's new boyfriend Barack over for dinner, and father Joe remarking how "Clean and Articulate" he is.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||November 17, 2023 5:12 PM|
"Juanita, we're ready for the taco salad."
|by Anonymous||reply 53||November 17, 2023 5:12 PM|
I’m the Gay OJ.
|by Anonymous||reply 54||November 17, 2023 5:21 PM|
I'm the incessant, reflexive recitation from every family member of every single non-white person to whom they've ever been acquainted.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||November 17, 2023 6:04 PM|
I am RHODE ISLAND!
|by Anonymous||reply 56||November 17, 2023 6:16 PM|
Even though his family wasn’t WASP what ever happened to Michael Sam’s little guido twink?
|by Anonymous||reply 57||November 17, 2023 6:26 PM|
I’m the Royal asking what color the child will turn out when born. Are we really going to have a black-black Royal in the family?
|by Anonymous||reply 58||November 17, 2023 6:28 PM|
I'm the well thought out text:
[quote]Come around to the back door when you get here, Dear. The lock on the front door is jammed and won't open.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||November 17, 2023 6:30 PM|
R57, when he found out the money wasn’t coming in, he went to ride white dick again.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||November 17, 2023 6:30 PM|
R60 😂. Did he only ever date white twinks before Sam? I know his grandfather was big in the NY mafia.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||November 17, 2023 6:33 PM|
Dad: So Miguel, Cameron tell us you are in the landscaping business. I'd love you to come round tomorrow and take a look at my bush. I think it might need trimming.
|by Anonymous||reply 62||November 17, 2023 6:36 PM|
I'm the WASPY mother, recounting how the family lineage goes all the way back to the Mayflower.
|by Anonymous||reply 63||November 17, 2023 6:37 PM|
[quote]I'm the Biden family
The Bidens are Irish Catholic, not WASP.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||November 17, 2023 7:04 PM|
Indeed. When Biden was born his kind weren’t invited to country clubs
|by Anonymous||reply 65||November 17, 2023 7:05 PM|
We're having the servants bring out dinner all wearing ascots while Harry Belafonte's "Calypso" album replays his 'Banana Boat' song all afternoon long on the HiFi set in the background.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||November 18, 2023 2:39 AM|
I'm the Blackamoor brooch, reluctantly put back in the jewellery box.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||November 18, 2023 2:51 AM|
[quote] I'm the Blackamoor brooch, reluctantly put back in the jewellery box.
Or for some, worn proudly when meeting the ethnic lover for the very first time.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||November 18, 2023 3:00 AM|
No need to pretend.
I lived it.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||November 18, 2023 3:01 AM|
I am Fox News running 24/7 on the TV in the living room. We just love Hannaty, don't you?
|by Anonymous||reply 70||November 18, 2023 3:05 AM|
That's the one thing I don't think is true, R70.
I don't think that WASPS are dumb enough to watch FOX News, or support Trump.
They're Republicans, for sure. Just not THAT kind of Republican.
|by Anonymous||reply 71||November 18, 2023 3:10 AM|
I'm the whispers of "NOKD."
|by Anonymous||reply 72||November 18, 2023 3:26 AM|
I'm the equally blond 13 year little brother, rushing off to the bedroom to rub one out at the knowledge that my 5'5" blonde brother, who is majoring in modern dance, definitely takes it up the ass from his 6'4" Black linebacker "partner." I then sneak into my brother's room and place a camera in there and charge $50 a pop to watch the live stream.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||November 18, 2023 3:27 AM|
Yes they are R71. Stop trying to sugar coat it. Fox News IS the Republican channel for so called moderates, all the others like OAN are much worse.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||November 18, 2023 3:42 AM|
I'm the silver cutlery.
How much of me will end up in the ethnic lover's weekend bag?!
|by Anonymous||reply 75||November 18, 2023 3:46 AM|
I'm the dad, who responds to the news that my 5'5" blonde son, who is majoring in modern dance, definitely takes it up the can from his 6'4" Black linebacker "partner" by abandoning my wife and kids, moving to the city and setting up house with a hairdresser/physique model named Manuel.
We have a Pomeranian we've named "Miss Sparkles".
|by Anonymous||reply 76||November 18, 2023 3:51 AM|
I'm the 5'5" blond son's puny cocklet.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||November 18, 2023 3:59 AM|
I'm one of the many giving the 13-year-old brother at R73 my credit card number.
|by Anonymous||reply 78||November 18, 2023 6:12 AM|
I’m the mother of the 5’5” blond son, cluelessly embarrassing everyone by instructing the maid to leave the cranberry sauce as is, because “Skip loves it in the can.”
|by Anonymous||reply 79||November 18, 2023 6:14 AM|
R78. I take PayPal Dad.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||November 18, 2023 3:03 PM|
No shit r65. He came from a working class background. Not the set often invited to country clubs, even the ones open to Catholics.
|by Anonymous||reply 81||November 18, 2023 3:06 PM|
R71 However, Trump did pardon Scooter. He was innocent the entire time, of course.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||November 18, 2023 3:10 PM|
R57 R61 Vito's family was in the Kansas City Mafia, not NYC. They owned a crooked fruit company, and a few shady restaurants with way too many photos of Dean Martin on the walls.
Here's hoping he still gets that chocolate, even if not from Michael Sam.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||November 18, 2023 6:40 PM|
[Quote]Every WASP sometime after they turn 35 will be unable to resist telling you about a bird they saw recently. They’re way more excited kestrels than anybody’s blatino husbear.
|by Anonymous||reply 84||November 18, 2023 7:41 PM|
I'm Hyacinth Bucket, taking swigs of the Dowager Lady Ursula's homemade gooseberry wine, before Sheridan and his 6'4 black lover arrive.
|by Anonymous||reply 85||November 19, 2023 2:06 AM|
“Is Juneteenth like Kwanza?”
|by Anonymous||reply 86||November 19, 2023 3:21 AM|
[quote] “Is Juneteenth like Kwanza?”
Yes, but without the cake.
|by Anonymous||reply 87||November 19, 2023 3:27 AM|
I’m the separate bedrooms offered to you both when you’ve drunk so much you have to stay the night.
|by Anonymous||reply 88||November 19, 2023 3:30 AM|
R 6 nailed it. Gotta rewatch this movie .
|by Anonymous||reply 89||November 19, 2023 3:45 AM|
When my Jewish daughter met her boyfriends mother , she wore an extra large cross - family not religious . Mega trumpsters anti vaxxers. Father got Covid and died. Family refused it was Covid . Mother trashed out with low life boyfriends ….
|by Anonymous||reply 90||November 19, 2023 3:48 AM|
WASPs love Trump. They secretly relate a lot to his uncouth antics, multiple divorces and bankruptcies. He is crass and New York but he reminds them of their crazier family members.
Most WASPs are pretty well-trained at this point, they don’t make racial remarks in front of others. Their big horror is a family member marrying someone broke and trashy.
My mom is wayyyyyy more horrified by my brother’s trashy white wife who only has a high school education and wears patchouli perfume to the country club.
She loves my Jewish boyfriend, who is nerdy and awkward but makes $$$$ so he’s fine although he doesn’t dress well enough
WASPs can actually be terrified and triggered by other WASPs who have more money than them. massive massive jealousy over someone whose son started a multi billion hedge fund, or the daughter turned lesbian and married a lesbian heiress to a billionaire fortune. My mom is very triggered by other women at the country club whose sons took their inheritance and education and instead of blowing it on divorces, rehabs and failed businesses, actually made it far on Wall Street and are CEOs of publicly traded companies
The hatred and fear is over poor people, not necessarily minorities. Although a poor, unsuccessful minority would be the absolute worst in their eyes. They are okay with an Indian guy who went to Tuck business school and runs a trading desk, especially if he has a nice jacket on and “manners”
“Manners” in my family means sucking up and not looking around or noticing that the house is falling down, Mom’s hair looks like Benjamin Franklin, the food sucks, and all everybody can talk about is reminiscing about dead relatives and that trip through the south of France in 1992. “manners” is pretending to admire the needlepoint everything … needle point carpets, needlepoint pillows, there’s even a needlepoint of the country club framed in the kitchen.
|by Anonymous||reply 91||November 19, 2023 3:54 AM|
The WASP has a perfect dick.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||November 19, 2023 4:00 AM|
Mother—Norwegian Catholics are not “ethnics.”
|by Anonymous||reply 93||November 19, 2023 5:14 AM|
There is no such thing as a Norwegian catholic.
|by Anonymous||reply 94||November 19, 2023 1:23 PM|
I put out a special bar of soap in the guest bath just for your "friend." Hand towel too.
|by Anonymous||reply 95||November 19, 2023 1:36 PM|
R91 is wrong. The WASPs I know are horrified by him.
|by Anonymous||reply 96||November 19, 2023 1:38 PM|
same here, so gauche and "new Money"
|by Anonymous||reply 97||November 19, 2023 2:51 PM|
I'm mentioning that I voted for Obama once!
|by Anonymous||reply 98||November 19, 2023 3:18 PM|
I’m the active bottles of Famous Grouse - one’s kept under the sink, another’s in the pantry, and another is in the lady of the house’s desk drawer.
We’re getting hit pretty hard, but nobody has used hate speech; there’s hope we won’t be emptied until Saturday.
|by Anonymous||reply 99||November 19, 2023 9:01 PM|
“Here’s mud in your eye”
|by Anonymous||reply 100||November 19, 2023 11:03 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 101||November 19, 2023 11:10 PM|
Hear me roar
|by Anonymous||reply 102||November 19, 2023 11:20 PM|
I'm Mother commenting to ethnic lover "it was nice of you to offer to pick up the check since your boyfriend can't even bother to pretend to reach for his wallet".
|by Anonymous||reply 103||November 19, 2023 11:23 PM|
"That's such a nice suit. How was court?"
|by Anonymous||reply 104||November 20, 2023 7:10 PM|
I’m the 5’5” blond’s sloshed Uncle Arthur, asking in a too-loud voice “Do you want more of the dark meat, Skip? Your friend said it’s your favorite. Mine too! No, dear sister, I’m not drunk and embarrassing, now am I, Skip? And what do you mean my Uber is here, it’s only 6:00.”
|by Anonymous||reply 105||November 22, 2023 1:50 PM|