Thanksgiving 2023

I'm preparing a lot of dishes for my best friend and his family. The menu isn't yet set in concrete, but my responsibilities will likely include cornbread dressing, Graxy, Mormon Funeral Potatoes, Creamed Peas and Pearl Onions, and a couple of pies of some sort (probably Chocolate Cream and Coconut Cream). There may be additional requests. My deadline is generally noon on Thursday. I make 'em, and he comes and picks 'em up and takes 'em home, adding it to whatever they're making (turkey? ham? green bean casserole? candied yams?). I don't go because a) I've got to make Thanksgiving dinner for my brother and I (he is not welcome at their house), and b) from a health standpoint, home suits me better.

Hi, Greg.

Hello, R2.

You are very generous, PoisonedDragon.

Sounds lovely.

R1, why isn't your brother welcome at your friend's house?

I’m going to my in-law’s. Sister-in-law is very tightly wound and usually doesn’t want anyone to bring anything but wine, but this year she actually asked us to bring dessert and a side. We are purchasing a cake, but I’m bringing my corn pudding. It’s borderline trashy, but everyone always loves it. And if *I* can make it without fucking it up, you know it’s easy!

It’s soooo carb heavy, but I’ll eat it at holiday time.

I wish I were invited wherever Poisoned Dragon’s pies are going. But I am giving thanks at a rather schmancy restaurant, so no pumpkin pie for me in any case.

I spent $2,000 for a cabin in the woods with a hottub to escape this holiday.

[quote]R5: why isn't your brother welcome at your friend's house?

My younger brother, now 51, was born autistic, and has been mentally slow all his life. Personal hygiene issues. In 1995, he was attacked by a group of yokels and received a number of blows to the head, and subsequently, paranoid schizophrenia expressed, for which he refuses to undergo treatment. Currently, he's close to 400 lbs, and the hygiene issues are considerably worse. He remains poorly socialized, and often is unpleasant to be around. Women are creeped out by him, since he tends to stare, and there's some risk of him developing a delusion that they're in a relationship with him. It has happened before. He has a history of cruelty to animals; for that reason, we cannot have any pets. (MacDonald Triad, I know, but he has never shown any violence to me.) He soils his clothes several times a day, and strongly stinks; it defies meaningful cleanup. He requires fairly close supervision. It's inadvisable to leave him alone for more than a day or so; his tenuous grip on reality drifts.

My best friend understands the situation, and is acclimated to visiting us. But his wife and stepdaughter can't deal with my brother, and I don't try to make them. I just look after him to the best of my ability. I will be spending Thanksgiving at home with him.

Reservations.

After the private film screening I'm having for a few friends in a quaint old timey theater. Any suggestions?

Poisonous Dragon has a kind heart.

R11 has enough sap to drown Milwaukee.

A pet mother.

I’m gonna dry brine my company-given turkey. It actually comes out really good.

This years conundrum is that my bro and his lady and her son are coming and they’re vegetarian!

I have no idea what to make. I was toying with the idea of a leek and mushroom lasagna. It sounds good. Plus the usual, meat free sides.

Help me, Greg.

I admire PoisonedDragon.

R13, Thanksgiving is ideal for vegetarians. There are typically so many vegetables, won’t that suffice?

You could also make a delicious macaroni and cheese that everyone might enjoy.

What Greg suggested in r15. The macaroni and cheese, that is. Though it surprises me, a number of people I know simply won't eat mushrooms. I think your lasagne sounds terrific, r13, and I would probably make it my main course, but some people just hate mushrooms. How about a leek and chevre quiche? Alice Waters did one a million years ago, and it's so good. You need a creamy chevre, not a chalky one. If you want a little more color, you could add roasted red peppers.

Maybe a lobster macaroni and cheese.

But I like your idea of a leek and mushroom lasagne,l.

F&F!

SMD, r18.

F&F R19!

R18/R20, please keep your opinions to yourself.

Serving for 16. Making mama stamberg relish, a 1980’s cranberry onion confit from Gourmet magazine, Betty Crocker stuffing, and some Melissa Clark from NY Times sides. Also sweet potato with marshmallows on top just because.

[quote]Making mama stamberg relish, a 1980’s cranberry onion confit from Gourmet magazine

One of the most egregious abuses of cranberries in existence, this confit de crap stars raw onion.

Sounds good, R16.

Thanks for y’all’s suggestions.

Can someone bring Gerg Aunt Minnie's Special Chocolate Pie?

[quote] Can someone bring Gerg Aunt Minnie's Special Chocolate Pie?

You’re a child.

Greg eatin shit

Greg cookin shit

Greg is a shit

I’m out

A-town

It’s all fine until you hear someone say “what’s that supposed to mean??” and then you know things are taking a turn. Luckily for me, there’s always plenty of wine, and some cute dogs to play with in the back yard.

R27, you are quite talented.

[bold] Thanksgiving Turkey Tip: [/bold]

Let your turkey rest as long as it roasted.

In other words, if you roasted your turkey for three hours, let it rest for three hours. It makes a difference when you allow the fibers of the flesh to reabsorb the distributed juices from cooking.

You can cover it while it rests.

No need to worry about how hot it is—you'll have piping hot gravy and (I hope) warmed dinner plates.

No dinner, just this:

Honeybaked ham! I love it.

Greg, does your brother live with you? Good for you, looking after him.

Oh no, R32, that wasn’t me.

R9 was written by PoisonedDragon.

^same thing

[quote] ^same thing

No, it isn’t.

R35/Greg, they are throwing that against the wall, not because it is in any way probable, but to see if it sticks. If it can be seen to irritate either of us, then they will persist. Ignore it.

Posioned Dragon, nice of you to take care of your brother. You're a good man.

Gerg is Poisoned’s retarded brother

[quote] Posioned Dragon, nice of you to take care of your brother. You're a good man.

I agree.

We're sending out for the Turkey, a small one for four people, and we'll do the sides. Mine charge is to make the dressing/stuffing.

To Poisoned Dragon

Ok- just throwing this out there… wouldn’t you be better off if you had your brother in a long term care facility so you could live your life?

[quote] We're sending out for the Turkey, a small one for four people, and we'll do the sides. Mine charge is to make the dressing/stuffing.

A very practical plan!

What type of dressing will you make, R40?

I love creamed pearl onions. Anyone have a good recipe? It seems Green Giant or whoever doesn't make them anymore.

Well, Greg, everyone likes my dressing so either their palates are not very discerning or it's good. (poor attempt at a joke.) but I usually take a bag of Pepperidge Farm herb stuffing, and I get two rounds of cornbread from my Publix. I crumble them and mix them together. In a large saute' pan, I chop onions, celery, fresh sage, and a bit of carrot, and slowly sweat them in lots of melted butter, and a bit of olive oil. I sometimes add loose breakfast sausage mix (pork flavored with sage. I add an egg or two depending on how big the batch is, and then some chicken broth. Spoon it into a buttered casserole dish and put it in the oven for about 40 minutes or so at about 350. Don't want it to be too dry, or too mushy. I will cover it with foil at first the then last ten minutes uncovered. If I use the sausage meat I make sure to drain it well after cooking it so the dressing isn't greasy.

Forgot to say I let the sauteed vegetables cool a bit before combining them with the bread mix, add the egg(s) and cooled sausage mix (well drained) and salt and pepper than the chicken broth, and mix it adding more chicken broth as needed. Be careful not to make it too mushy.

Well that sounds delicious, R44.

I do something similar sometimes, but I like to add some apple sauce to it to increase the moisture.

And I love to add Bell’s Seasoning.

Thanks for sharing that!

R41, there's nothing like that available that we can afford.

R44 - R45 here. I sometimes will chop up some granny Smiths or chopped walnuts, to add to my dressing, but I have to say, I don't use the sausage meat addition very often. I'm not a big fan and I've only ever done it to satisfy some of my family members.

Thank you, Greg.

My Italian Grandmother used to stuff our turkey with a white rice mixture with eggs and Romano cheese, parsley, salt & pepper. I hated it.

I agree, R48, I do not like sausage in dressing.

Does anybody use the turkey innards in their stuffing?

They take forever to cook then you have to cut up all the bits, I don’t think the meats add any sort of taste.

Can’t use them this year because of the vegetarians that are coming over.

Poisoned Dragon, my heart goes out to you. I have an Autistic Son, and though not as seriously afflicted as your brother, I know well the Life-long care and devotion required for our family member.

Which makes me even MORE impressed that you can carry off making and preparing complex dishes for friends, and yourselves for Thanksgiving! I'll probably order out for my son and myself for the Holiday.

Best Wishes!

My proposed itinerary for this Thanksgiving is much the same as it was last year, which I posted in the '𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠?' thread, reply 45: (see link below)

I could have sworn I've posted my recipe for cornbread dressing here before; it's just a matter of finding it.

I once got quite specific in my description of the dressing, but cannot find that now. I think it's gone.

On the '𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞?' 2021 thread, across several posts, I recounted my first experience with dressing (reply 33), and began to describe my dressing at the end of the same post, elaborating further at replies 40, 58, and 61.

At reply 68, I discuss Green Bean Casserole. Further characteristics of my typical Thanksgiving at replies 95, 97, and 101.

Greg’s tip for how long to let the turkey rest at r30 is an invitation for food poisoning.

I just ordered 5 pounds of organic chestnuts, I hope bishes are jealous of me.

[quote] Greg’s tip for how long to let the turkey rest at [R30] is an invitation for food poisoning.

Not so.

It’s a great tip I got from Gordon Ramsay

[quote] Poisonous Dragon has a kind heart.

Poisonous Dragon will be a candidate for sainthood.

That may be so r57 but I’m not eating any turkey that’s been sitting around for two hours or more. Cooked meat needs to be kept hot or refrigerated after two hours of sitting out.

I'll be handing out turkey sandwiches to the homeless in front of Greg's Beacon Hill townhouse on Thursday.

[quote] I'll be handing out turkey sandwiches to the homeless in front of Greg's Beacon Hill townhouse on Thursday.

Just don’t block my view.

We roast a large chicken with various seasoning, and carrots, sweet potatoes, brussel sprouts, and onions at the bottom of the pan to simmer in drippings and olive oil while it cooks. We also make a purred carrot and turnip dish with lots of butter thrown in. Then baked asparagus with cheese and olive oil. Plus pecan stuffing and homemade bread. Finally, one of a few pies we order from a local shop - chocolate fudge, pecan, and apple crumb.

Are you doing that Instagram Greg?

People run away

r59, I roast chickens frequently, eating half that night and leaving the rest for the morning. I never refrigerate the leftover half-chicken. I'm not recommending that anyone else do this. It's just what I do. I've done it dozens of times, and have never gotten sick.

Poisoned Dragon — I rename you Hero Dragon. I have a very close relative who is schizophrenic relative and my heart goes out to you . I identify with you. It’s hard for others to imagine what we go through you.

You’re truly an extraordinary man

[quote]Let your turkey rest as long as it roasted. In other words, if you roasted your turkey for three hours, let it rest for three hours.

I was always taught that meat rests half as long as it took to cook it.

Does anyone know a good recipe for green bean casserole?

[quote]Does anybody use the turkey innards in their stuffing?

I just throw them in the pot with the neck to make the stock for the gravy.

Green bean casserole is nothing without can of Campbell's cream of mushroom soup. And those canned crispy "onion" rings.We add some chopped onions just to be clever and add even more flavor to this exquisite dish.

[quote]Green bean casserole is nothing without can of Campbell's cream of mushroom soup. And those canned crispy "onion" rings.We add some chopped onions just to be clever and add even more flavor to this exquisite dish.

I didn't think it could be made any more horrible but, in the name of cleverness, r70, you have done so.

I refuse to make recipes that call for “cream of” anything. All that shit is is salt.

🥴

R71 thank you for realizing that I was joking. Do people really eat that shit?

[quote] All that shit is is salt.

Link?

R44, Greg and all who commented on cornbread stuffing, have you ever tried the Country Cornbread Stuffing from The Honey Baked Ham Company? I was very skeptical, but it is truly delicious, sweet and savory. I've been searching for a copycat recipe. The one that looks the best calls for Honey Cornbread and toasted french bread cubes, but also calls for 3-5 eggs in the stuffing to hold it together. What do you think of this? I don't want mushy stuffing, but I also don't want it to be dry. Thanks for your help.

r74, I'm not r72, but he is correct. That shit has dangerously high levels of sodium. Google Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup sodium content for the nutritional information.

Our guests arrive around 11AM, with light snacks/DRINKS on the ready. Dinner is at 4PM and we'll be serving a very traditional Thanksgiving dinner of roast turkey, cornbread stuffing, mashed potatoes, homemade noodles that go over the mashed potatoes (FAT BITCHES REJOICE!), green bean casserole, glazed carrots and dinner rolls. Dessert will be pecan pie (with a scoop of frozen custard if you like).

Yikes r77, that’s a long day. Why are they arriving so early? You also better have more than light snacks if there’s drinking and no one’s had lunch.

We're not doing turkey. Fucking sick of it. Instead, doing a porchetta-style roasted pork shoulder, leek and onion dressing, roasted delicata squash with a tahini dressing, garlicky green beans, brown butter mash, sweet potato casserole, mac and cheese, parker house rolls and roasted brussels.

Pies for dessert.

Just 4 of us this year - me, my husband, my mom and brother - out at the family homestead on Long Island. I'm preparing as much as I can the next couple of days. Wednesday night is a big night out at the townie bar and we will be out a little late hanging with old friends.

My guests are due to arrive at noon.

Once they’re there, we will go to the beach and have cups of haddock chowder. It will be around 50 degrees outside.

Back at the house we will have cocktails and hors d’oeuvres—simple things like cheese and crackers, Medjool dates, warm spiced pecans, gougeres, and celery stuffed with cream cheese, cheddar cheese, bacon, chives, and parsley.

We will sit down to eat at 3:00 and will have a pretty traditional Thanksgiving dinner:

Roast Turkey and Gravy

Cornbread Dressing

Potato Purée

Sautéed Haricots Verts with Chopped Hazelnuts

Braised Carrots

Creamed Pearl Onions

Cranberry Sauce

Dinner Rolls

+++

Apple Pie

Bourbon Pecan Pie

Sweet Potato Pie

This is disgusting and falsified

When will you go bye-bye?

[quote] This is disgusting and falsified

What do you mean?

[quote] When will you go bye-bye?

Whom are you asking?

R81

Falsified?

[quote] Yikes [R77], that’s a long day. Why are they arriving so early? You also better have more than light snacks if there’s drinking and no one’s had lunch.

For three years starting in 2002, my bf and I would host a Thanksgiving sleepover: Wednesday dinner, drinks, and dancing until we passed out. Then cinnamon rolls and coffee in the morning while we watched the parade, followed by Mimosa Brunch (or Bloody Marys as one might prefer). Afternoon appetizers were cru d’ete, pinwheels and bruschetta-type fare.

Thanksgiving dinner would be served by 7p. I’m not quite sure how we ate it… we were usually so stuffed. We were usually quite so drunk too. Frankly, I’m amazed I remember enough to type this out.

But damn! It was a good time, and a helluva fond memory some 20 years later.

Just me and my housemate this year. He's not a fan of turkey, so it's an uncured ham from Trader Joe's, green beans, an orzo/cauliflower side dish from TJ's I wanted to try, roasted potatoes, and his grandmother's cherry cobbler, plus a couple bottles of Prosecco. And a whole lot of edibles. I'm doing crockpot cannabutter on Wednesday.

12:01 am - 1:26 pm: Glazed Turkey Jeannine with Bourbon Plum Pudding is originated, prepared and cooked.

1:28 pm: Guests arrive, feed, mingle and digest.

2 - 2:09 pm: Leisurely dinner-party nap.

2:30 pm: Dismiss guests (or have them clean up, or removed); finish off rest of bottle of wine alone, falling face-first into remaining pudding’s hole center.

How is your final approach to Thanksgiving, Greg? Everything on course?

Talk to me about celeriac; I'm curious about its uses. Not for this Thanksgiving, but maybe for Christmas.

[quote] Does anybody use the turkey innards in their stuffing? They take forever to cook then you have to cut up all the bits, I don’t think the meats add any sort of taste.

My mom uses the turkey livers in her stuffing. No, they don't take forever to cook. She cut up the livers into very small cubes. Yes, they have an earthy taste. Nice contrast with the celery.

One year, my aunt's made the stuffing. She left out the livers and I didn't like her stuffing as much as I liked my mom's.

[quote]R91: I don’t think the meats add any sort of taste.

Oh, yes they do!

And odor.

Gamey, like dark meat. The iron-bitter twang of kidneys and liver.

I cannot handle it.

Fortunately, outside of a couple of brushes with it as a child, I've never had to.

[quote] How is your final approach to Thanksgiving, Greg? Everything on course? Talk to me about celeriac; I'm curious about its uses. Not for this Thanksgiving, but maybe for Christmas.

Hello PoisonedDragon. I think things are going well.

I’ve cleaned the front (public part) of the house and have ironed all the table linens and cocktail napkins. I’ve shopped for nearly everything and my turkey is uncovered in the refrigerator enjoying a dry brine.

Today I will do some outdoor tidying up (leaves are falling), I will set the table, clean the kitchen, and my partner and I will make the chowder, spiced pecans, cheese straws, pies, cornbread dressing, prep the vegetables, and make the cranberry sauce.

Tomorrow morning the turkey will be removed from the refrigerator early (around 6:30) and will go into the oven at 10:00.

My goal is to have no cleaning or serious cooking to do tomorrow.

How about you, PD?

I like celeriac. It can be combined with potato for a lovely potato and celeriac purée. One could also roast it or use it raw in salads or slaws.

Celeriac is a healthier, low-carb alternative to potatoes.

Things here are already in full swing.

Dry-brined turkey coming to room temperature on the counter. All ready for the pre-roast butter rubdown.

Chowder is made and crispy chopped pancetta garnish is done.

Potato purée is cooked and will be reheated with the addition of even more hot heavy cream.

Cornbread dressing is done.

Carrots & haricots verts are all prepped and ready to cook. Creamed onions have been braised in chicken stock and are just awaiting their blanket of heavy cream.

Cranberry sauce is made.

Pear chutney is made.

Spiced pecans are made, as are the cheese sticks, and the cream cheese filling for the celery.

Pies are made.

Table is set. Music is chosen. Tea towels are ironed and presentable for any guest who wants to dry something.

Wine is chilling and the bar is set up.

Cocktail glasses are in the freezer.

Dishwasher is entirely empty and kitchen is clean.

I need to prepare the picnic hamper for our visit to the beach.

What am I forgetting?

This is an invitation to be creative …

Greg, what do you do with the leftovers?

I make turkey sandwiches, turkey soup, and turkey tetrazzini.

Greg, what's the music? I just woke up and asked Alexa to play me some stuff, U2 the unforgettable fire, Public Enemy Welcome to the Terrordome, Tears for Fears the Hurting and Misfits Horror Business. Great holiday fare. Next I'll listen to Bad Religion's Christmas album.

Hi, R97.

I found a Thanksgiving jazz station on Pandora that’s pretty good.

And I’ll play some Aaron Copland.

How can you make so many dishes, Greg? I have a hard enough time making only a half-dozen things.

Lots of practice, R99.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanks, you too?

Rather, you too (exclamation point).

Gregg what are the creamed onions for?

He’s a fraud obvs

So happy this shit got redlined

[quote] He’s a fraud obvs

I can’t stop laughing.

Tell us more, R104.

[quote] So happy this shit got redlined

Sounds like someone had a bad day.

My guests just left and I’m beginning the clean up.

It was a really nice day.

[quote]I can’t stop laughing

You should see someone about that.

Laugh 2 death

I just had the best turkey sandwich. I melted cheddar cheese on a slice of sourdough bread, topped the other slice of bread with Dijon mustard, mayonnaise, cranberry sauce and put a few pieces of white meat turkey in between the two. So good I may make another half.

Nastiness

Suck my cockiness lick my persuasion