Store bought pies

There is no such thing as a good pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie is disgusting glop mixed with sugar and spices

If you're traveling, why is it your responsibility to bring a baked good to Thanksgiving?

"the rest of the meal" but no "baking from scratch". Right. Gotcha. WTF?

Et tu, Brute, R1?

Get a Sara Lee frozen apple pie at the grocery store of your choice. They are excellent.

[quote]Are their apple pies good?

They're pretty good for store-bought. They weigh like 10 pounds, they're larger than a standard pie.

I had the apple pie, a long time ago. It was humongous. The apple part was good. The crust part was OK (not great). IIRC, it was lattice. The top crust was probably better than the bottom crust, which makes sense.

And, why do people make the traveling person responsible for so much food?

Uh hmmm

Here you go. OP.

Here’s another good source for shipping pies, but they are very expensive.

Another interesting article.

Because R2 I am the cook in the family. My mother is elderly, my step-father is helpless and the other people are not good cooks. I'd rather do it myself because I know it will be good.

Yes, R3, after all the rest of it why should I have to do more than dinner rolls? Yeesh, some of you are cunty cunts.

Well I certainly don't need a 10 lb apple pie.

Weird because I like pumpkin though it's not my favorite but I don't like sweet potato pie.

^^^oh, and I tried Patti's and it ain't all that.

Why not buy a pie this week and see if you like it?

Perkins Restaurant and Bakery is a good place for pies. Order online ahead of time.

And then what? After supper? Music? Whispers? Go on, go tell her she'll not be appeasing her ugly appetite with MY food... or my son!

So you’re too fucking lazy to pre-order from a fine bakery in the place you are going to?

You deserve all the 👀rolls you get from the rest of your family in Butcher Hollow.

What bakeries R19? She retired to a place in the country but it's not Butcher Hollow and they don't eyeroll at all. They aren't a bunch of pretentious snobs just regular middle class folks.

Mrs. Edwards is generally a safe pick. Their pecan pie is pretty damn good.

I like Publix pies.

Some like more cinnamon some like less. I like less. Costco I thought was more. Other wise I thought my Costco apple pie was great. And it’s hard to beat the price.

Not a single bakery? What a strange place that must me.

be*

[quote]Well I certainly don't need a 10 lb apple pie.

That was a slight exaggeration. It's more like 4 pounds

Where are you traveling Op?

For example, I live in LA and for several years I got my thanksgiving pies at the Viktor Benes bakery-they’re in Gelson’s locations and they have a standalone bakery by Cedars Sinai I believe

I've had her Key Lime R21 and it's good. Marie Callender's does a good Dutch Apple pie.

There used to be Marie Callendar restaurants here but they closed after a few years.

I like store-boughten pies. I also like to say "store-boughten."

No R24. There a few diners, a Brookshire Bros store and a Dollar General. She's deep country and wanted away from city traffic and noise and, boy, did she get it.

Beware, OP. Several years ago multiple people here praised Costco/Kirkland's frozen lasagna that was "as good as homemade." I decided to have it on hand in case a mid-day party kept going into the evening. It did so I was glad I had it. But I was so embarrassed by how BAD it was. Clearly the people here who recommended it have never had good lasagne.

the frozen pies at aldi are amazing; cook them and they smell and taste like homemade

My friend Julie swore that Little Debbie Devil Squares cakes were a copy and just as good or even better than Torta caprese from Buonocore on Capri. My guests were bitterly disappointed that Julie was wrong. But Julie is a cunt so I should have known better.

R33 I loved those when I was a kid.

[quote] I got my thanksgiving pies at the Viktor Benes bakery-they’re in Gelson’s locations and they have a standalone bakery by Cedars Sinai I believe

Viktor Benes is always good but don't go looking for a bakery near Cedars Sinai.

There's a Magnolia Bakery near Cedars, but Viktor Benes will be found in Gelsons in WeHo and Century City.

Have you considered Mrs. Lovett's?

R19 my thoughts exactly

Have a little priest!

Get the Costco pies. Go when they open around 10:30 after they've had a chance to put the bakery stuff out. It's fresh, may even still be warm. Get the pumpkin and the Apple. Go in piece. Also they have round chocolate and vanilla cakes we usually buy for birthdays, and you can grab the chocolate one. Delicious.

Costco used to have a GREAT carrot cake with apricot filling and cream cheese frosting. We used to order it for office parties all the time. I have no idea if it still exists since I've been retired for over a decade.

I’m thankful for fur pie!

Apple pie is terrible.

The tuxedo cake is relatively small and is supposed to be good. Maybe buy that as a treat just for yourself.

I'm not into pie but CostCo makes the best custard pie on earth. If your CostCo carries them, grab one. I'll say this however. Hawaiian CostCo's are the only ones I have ever known to carry them. I'd like to know if any other states carry custard pies at their stores.

The Tuxedo cake, last time I bought it about a year ago was not very good. I've also tried the cheese cake at Costco, also not very good. The pies I have had luck with are the Apple, the pumpkin and the key lime (in season.) As for cakes, it is the round all occasion cake in vanilla or chocolate that are consistently good. I also like the pound cakes they sell three to a package with fresh fruit and whipped cream. Excellent pound cakes. I live in the South so Publix is my go to for cakes and pies, unless I'm serving a large gathering. I will say that Costco's large chicken pot pie is delicious and easily serves about 8 to 12 people.

Bring along some good whipped cream, that way if the pie is so-so the whipped cream will make it taste better.

I keep seeing ads for this pie and it looks impossible to serve.

R44 Costco, not "CostCo."

You need to take this week to sample a multitude of pies.

R46 / Ina, thanks for the tip about the “good” whipped cream.

OP what a weird post. As others have pointed out, highly implausible. Why wouldn’t just ask your family where to go when you arrive? If you are doing the grocery shopping when you get there just pick up a damn pie while you are at the store! Jeez. I doubt your elderly parents are concerned about the source of a pie.

Agree about Publix bakery.

Their Chocolate Ganache, Raspberry Elegance and Chantilly cakes are excellent.

Tiramisu bar very good as is their Carrot Cake bar (haven't had the entire cake just the bar form).

Mango Key Lime pie is very good.

Tres Leches cake good.

MAKE YOUR OWN GOD DAMNED PIE

[italic]Bought[/italic] pies?? Dear me, I call that very feeble.

R52, I LOVE Publix cakes and pies.! They are so reliably good for any occasion. And I got a free loaf cake for my birthday! I chose Carrot, but next year I will try something chocolate I think. Their cheese cake is also excellent. My downfall is the fact that they often sell things by the slice. Oy.

Make a Mock Apple Pie with Ritz crackers. No peeling and coring and such.

[quote]R30 There a few diners, a Brookshire Bros store and a Dollar General.

Well, why aren’t you just getting the Lil’ Pound Cakes??

Go to 7-Eleven or QT. Grab some Hostess Fruit Pies for the number of guests you expect to attend, This way every guest will have his/her/their own individual pie. If they’re too stuffed after the main course, they can put it in their pocket and take it home to eat later. This is obviously the best suggestion you’re gonna get.

You should pick it up from a real bakery or order it from gold belly.

Don't just go with some chain supermarket dessert. It's not going to be anywhere as good as you hope.

Goldbelly's shipping is $25 right now through January.

Best to order pies from Goldbelly late October before the high holiday shipping fees kick in.

I want to try the cake Tom Cruise sends people

I’d rather eat Hostess (or Tastycake) pies than pumpkin pie.

A handyman on our block told me he could get a pie tree and plant it in my backyard for $2,000. I can pick apple, cherry, peach or lemon. They apparently take 2 years to mature and bear pies but after that the savings are significant.

Do any of you have experience with these?

Costco sells the best pies. Especially Pumpkin Pies.

I like frozen pies. They are good. A bakery pumpkin pie is always soggy.

Send us a soil sample first R63.

The apple orchard near me makes delicious apple pie.

This is the Mary-est thread that ever Maryed

R63–sounds about right for where Op hid away his mommy.

R63 It might be time to consider giving up the booze.

R61: I bought one during lockdown. It was very good. I don't know that I'd do it again---expensive and a lot to eat.

Make a crostata instead. They’re easy as, well, pie.

Yes, R63. My cow pie tree had a bumper crop this year. 🙄

Sweet potatoes give me a stomach ache.

I don't think Goldbelly is all that. I'm sure you can find something wonderful that's local. Just get on it and don't waste time.

OP, does it have to be pie? How about really good cheesecake?

Key Lime is always a hit no matter who makes it.

Buy a package of Pillsbury pie crust(s).

Buy some Comstock canned pie filling.

Get a pie dish and roll out one of the pie crusts into it.

Empty Comstock pie filling into it. However much you like. Whatever kind you like. I wouldn't suggest attempting a pumpkin pie though, stick with the gummy fruit shit.

Place remaining pie crust on top. Press the edges of the two crusts together. If you want to be fancy, do a scallop edge design using a spoon back if it's too difficult to figure out how to do it the traditional way. Cut some slits or holes (your choice). Make sure you don't make it too perfect looking - you're making homemade pie, after all.

Sprinkle with coarse sugar for an extra added flair. If you care, cover the edges of the crust halfway with foil or crust guards halfway through baking so they don't overcook/turn too brown.

Serve with Cool Whip (extra creamy) and a smile in your frilly white apron.

Store bought? How gauche.

[quote] They aren't a bunch of pretentious snobs just regular middle class folks.

Then they will just have to eat whatever-the-fuck you put in front of their fat, lazy, useless asses!

I get it OP, you want to take care of them and make their holiday “Special” but to get defensive about how regular they are only goes to show how high-falutin’ you are. Settle down now.

Trader Joe's has been voted the best pie crust. So not Pillsbury. And don't buy pie filling. Look it is simple to chop up apples in chunks as for applesauce. Put them in a pot with about an inch or two of water cinnamon, and brown sugar and partially cook them. Partially. there should be a little bit of liquid. If it's too watery add a teaspoon of cornstarch to the pot and stir. Then dump them into the pie shell, add more cinnamon and brown sugar if you think they need it. and put the top crust on. Bake it for about 30 minutes on 400 or until the crust is brown. Sometimes the bottom crust can be indercooked. But make sure you poke holes in the bottom crust with a fork so it doesn't bubble up while baking.ht want to bake the bottom crust for about 15 minutes before you add the apples. Depending on your ove

Store bought?

FAT WHORES RECOIL!

r81 doesn't get i was being as basic as possible. and that i've never made a pie that way in my life. i've never actually used Comstock filling and wouldn't trust a store bought ready-crust if i'm calling my pie "homemade."

i was giving the worst possible directions for making a homemade pie with the least amount of effort.

Just buy a Costco pie for pete's sake. With all the descriptions of the Publix pies and cakes, i'd definitely try them if we had them in my area.

My mom used to make cherry pie w/the Comstock filling. That was ages ago, but IIRC, it was delicious.

Ages ago, the filling made by Comstock was no doubt delicious. Present day: probably filled with corn syrup.

R48, Thank you for catching that. I don't pay very good attention - shame, shame, shame on me. From now on I'll spell it as Costco.

Orange, olive oil cake is the perfect holiday treat. Just ask Finn and Mattie.

I've been dieting, a big piece of pumpkin pie slathered in whipped cream sounds so good....

There's NOTHING like Junior's Cheesecake to top off a light Thanksgiving dinatoire.

[quote]r70 It might be time to consider giving up the booze, r63

You will be jealous in just two years time when my pie trees bloom! I am thinking I can even open a pie stand in my yard to sell the extras.

This will be a good way to meet men, too! So all in all, a smart investment.

Here's what my friend did just yesterday, and I'm telling you she is a fabulous baker (made a 3-layer chocolate birthday cake for me), uses fresh peaches with her own-made crust for pie, etc. But for this Thanksgiving with a ton of family? She ordered....

QVC's Delizioso "Berrymisu" cake! 4.5 pounds! (I've had their Tiramisu, which was as the company name states, but this year it's a Costco version for my friends.)

Easy-peasy! Can even send it directly to your destination!

Make an easy apple crisp. No crust required and you can even buy apples already sliced and cored in bags, just slice off the peel.

Apple crisp is delicious, there are numerous online recipes and you can some flavor/color interest by adding a cup of berries.

Who makes the best store bought sweet potato pie? Greg?

[quote] Who makes the best store bought sweet potato pie? Greg?

Probably Patti LaBelle.

R95 I was genuinely asking your recommendations not being snarky.

Last year, I brought a pumpkin pie from Republique, which I'm sure was good, but nobody remembered. This year I'm buying from Destroyer, which is the offshoot cafe from the guy who had the 2 Michelin star Vespertine.

Although I did buy some mini pies from Magnolia- the pie was great, but the crust seemed undercooked- when I popped it in the oven, the crust was better. Their mini pumpkin cheesecakes were delightful- fluffy and light.

OP = =

[quote] I was genuinely asking your recommendations not being snarky.

My response was sincere, Teacake.

You might find a better sweet potato pie at a good bakery, but if you are going to purchase one in the supermarket or at a store, I think that Patti LaBelle's pies are tasty.

If you are in Massachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire, or Rhode Island—the supermarket chain Market Basket has very good pies in their bakeries.

R98, I'm OP. That pie is not good.

Oh, okay, R100/OP.

I've had Patti's buttermilk pie and thought it was pretty good.

[quote] Who makes the best store bought sweet potato pie? Greg?

Tallulah that read as if you answered your own question, not tossing off to that tosser. To which we would suffer something like the following:

GREG’S FAMOUS MARKET BASKET SWEET POTATOE PIE

Blah… Blah… Blah

But I did love the shade thrown at Patti LaBelle. That made me chuckle.

R102 Please! I keep telling you to stop locking your meds in that safe. It’s not worth it when you cannot find the key. God bless.

R102, have you always been so dumb or has it come with age?

Personally, and I hate to seem like I work for them cause I don't, but Publix Sweet Potato Pie is delicious. Seriously.

I've made both sweet potato and pumpkin pies, and to tell you the truth, there isn't all that much difference between them -- with the possible exception of texture. Neither pumpkins nor sweet potatoes have much flavor on their own, and since they pies usually contain the same spices, the overall flavor is very similar.

BTW, canned pumpkin usually doesn't even contain 100% "pumpkin." Since many squashes are very mild-flavored, and since there's no legal definition of "pumpkin," they use other squashes in canned pumpkin.

R106, kabocha squash (a type of pumpkin) has a really nice flavor. This guy, Brian Lagerstrom, is kind of weird puts his girlfriend on camera too much, but anyway ... He did a test with a few different squashes. Kabocha was the winner.

The differences between pumpkin pie and sweet potato pie.

R108 Greg I always thought the difference between a pumpkin and sweet potato pie is that the former is made from pumpkin while the latter is from sweet potatoes. No?

Teacake, you are more sophisticated than you let on.

R89, gosh, what's wrong with cheesecake at Thanksgiving?

[quote] gosh, what's wrong with cheesecake at Thanksgiving?

In my opinion, it is much too heavy.

There is NEVER a wrong occasion for cheesecake. It’s almost as good as sex.

I bring coconut cream pie - everyone loves that instead of pumpkin. Maybe try a fun alternative.

[quote] It’s almost as good as sex.

Not remotely.

However, be conscious of items that need refrigeration (that space is typically limited on that day).

Just buy a giant, yummy and inexpensive Costco pumpkin pie. Don’t overthink it.

[quote] However, be conscious of items that need refrigeration (that space is typically limited on that day).

If it's cold outside, as it's likely to be in certain areas, anything requiring refrigeration may be left outside.

[quote]There is NEVER a wrong occasion for cheesecake. It’s almost as good as sex.

You must be doing it wrong.

My apple crisp crumb topping dissolved into the filling.

R120

The Pilgrims did not have cheesecakes and so we cannot, either. On that special day (of genocide)

^^ sorry, in response to:

[quote]gosh, what's wrong with cheesecake at Thanksgiving?

[quote] what's wrong with cheesecake at Thanksgiving?

Nothing, if you're 300 pounds and having dinner for one.

But literally everyone else on the entire planet would be looking for either a pumpkin pie or, if one must, an autumn season fruit pie.

Store bought lies! You all know exactly what I’m talkin about!

R114: I love coconut cream pie, but there's often someone who dislikes coconut, so you need an alternative.

Banana Cream Pie?

Shit pie

I hate all pie.

we have chocolate bundt cake with chocolate ganache on top, a pound cake (from scratch, cream cheese pound cake), sweet potato pie, and apple pie. ice cream, fresh fruit, and assorted cookies.

OP doesn't say how he gets to his family in Bumfucque, but he does have a Costco card. When I visit my family in Bugtussle, I fly to the nearest city (then drive 3 hours) where I can pick up any Costco necessaries. Surely he can get a pie from the Costco nearest his destination.

Bumfucque sounds très chic, r131. I wonder if it's somewhere in Québec?

How could it be chic R132? It doesn't even have a Walmart!

Perhaps, but Bugtussle sounds about as glam as AIDSWrestleville!

These pies can be bought on any corner, any day and time of the week. They are homemade, but are often very exotic tasting to those who have never eaten one.

Greg/R112, thank you for your reasonable response. Point taken. I admit to loving any thing rich and heavy. Guess that's why I'm a fattie!

^ Anything. Oops.

On Thanksgiving we're supposed to eat ourselves sick. Then puke.

Costco won the pie test

I read recently that Patti LaBelle's confections are quite good. I've seen them at Target and they do look good. She has cobblers and pies. They look far better than the typical grocery store pies.

I forgo pie when it is bought.

"Yeesh, some of you are cunty cunts."

AND HOW!

I'd rather listen to the sound of my own children begging for their lives than eat a store-bought pie.

But that's just me.

r139 She claims the Costco pie is too sweet, so she remedies it by adding SWEETENED whipped cream?

Even the best store bought pies are usually too sweet.

There's not enough salt in store-bought pies and sweets. Salt (in the crust, etc.) balances out the sweet and gives you some satisfaction and balance on your palate.

There's usually too much salt.

Yes I find store bought crusts way way too salty and I use salt generously in my home cooking. But it's too much for even me .

Marie Callender has a pretty good ready made crust

"Are you a fan of pie? Are you a pie fan?"

[quote] I'd rather listen to the sound of my own children begging for their lives than eat a store-bought pie.

Hon, you're clearly insane. If God was real you would have been born sterile.

I got a free sample of Publix Pumpkin pie yesterday, and it was very good. The crust was exceptional. But I prefer their Sweet Potato Pie.

I’ve made a pumpkin cheesecake with a ginger snap crust before and it was very good. I may make a small batch of individual mini cheesecake bites since there are just three of us this year.

I’m not a huge fan of pie. I will have a small piece if it’s homemade in appreciation of all the effort that went into it. But if it’s a store bought pie it’s easy for me to say no thanks.

Store bought lies

[quote]If it's cold outside, as it's likely to be in certain areas, anything requiring refrigeration may be left outside.

We agree.

At least it is a fruit pie

As opposed to a cream pie.

I’d like to try that pie, but I can’t afford to join Costco. I’m constantly feeling left out in these threads. That place must be amazing. They seem to have the best everything.

R158 the basic membership is about $60 a year. Do you have someone you can go in on it with? My sister and her former roommate still have their joint membership. They don't check very closely at all. You flash your card as you walk in and you use t he barcode or membership number when you're at the check out.

Coshtco pie? Coshtco NASHTY!

Swing by my house, OP. I’m cooking up a pie just for you.

R99 Just avoid the apple.

I am picking up a pumpkin pie (and whipped cream) from Meijer tonight to bring Thanksgiving (Meijer is a supermarket chain popular in the midwest)

Face facts!

It’s all just STORE BOUGHT LIES!

You’re all a bunch of liars!!

Have you ever had a cream lie?

See r165 you’re lying now. Incredible…

I want everyone to sing the chorus to the linked song by Brenda Russell only with MY revised lyrics.

Store bought pies

How I hate to see those

Store bought pies

Looking back at me

Store bought lies

That’s what they are baby

Store bought pies

Make me…..CRAZY.

R163, I remember Meijers!!! I used to live in Michigan and as I recall they always had a great sweet potato pie. A little heavy on the nutmeg but delicious all the same.

Lord knows we ain’t got money

I’m so in love with your pussy

Too much nutmeg will ruin anything.

Mildred Pierce made a good pie. She also smelled of grease.