How to sound old in five words or less.

I say “Egad!” when I’m exasperated.

Answer the party line, quick!

[quote] Today I asked a young waitress, "Do you guys take plastic?" and she got very confused. I apologized and said, "I meant, 'Do you have utensils for the take out.'"

I thought "taking plastic" meant - do you accept credit card (payments). Not: do you give out plastic utensils.

OP - take plastic was an older term for taking credit cards in many areas.

"Roll down your window" "Hang up the phone" "Turn the channel"

Next time, strike a match!

Fewer!

[quote]"Do you guys take plastic?"

I think most people would associate that with taking credit cards

Was also going to mention that it means credit card but others have already done so.

I remember my aunt referring to her credit car for Lord and Taylor as a charge plate. It was metal.

[quote] her credit car

She hadn't paid it in full?

Please turn on the Victrola.

No feet on the Davenport!

Tests were on ditto sheets.

I will call you back.

Thank you very much.

Dial MUrray Hill five oh one five nine.

Hello, please, thanks, no problem.

What book are you reading?

You’re welcome. You’re very welcome.

Uh-oh, I spilled Oleo on my slacks.

How may I help you?

Would you like to sit?

Insurance adjuster was over inspecting a claim the other day. He wanted to make sure we “were okay with him videotaping the scene.”

With his iPhone.

"Do you have any Aramis cologne?". Me asking the utterly confused diverse gender neutral sales person ( aka Yas Queen) at the Macy's men's fragrance counter.

"Don't touch that dial!"

Is it Miss or Missus?

Use the DL search function.

I was unclear.

I was asking if the restaurant accepted credit cards, but no one under 50 asks that or probably even knows what that means.

“In my day …”

I like IKE!

Going to the picture show!

Wait - i have some coupons!

or

Can i please get a rain check*?

*Rain check: when a store was out of something, you filled out a paper with your name and number and you'd be called when the item was back in stock. Yes, really.

I dunno. Does Gen Z still call each other dorks?

And does Gen Z still "cruise"?

“Fill’re with high test.”

"I had that on vinyl."

Church was crowded today.

Op in your case words aren’t necessary

"Tippecanoe and Tyler Too" never gets a knowing nod in return anymore

“I know the score” or “she didn’t really know the score”

It’s in the ice box

Op that is not what the expression means

I was talking with a server at dinner last night and asked her , “Are you too young to know Buffy the Vampire Slayer?”

When I was a lad we had the Star Wars and it was WONDERFUL

"Five words or fewer."

I'll do it myself.

Coloreds.

R29 formal request for thread closure

i had a paper route...

Do you have brewed decaf?

would you care for Sanka?^^

I can’t work my stupid phone!

Get off my lawn.

I'm watching my stories!

Getting recording artists' names wrong (e.g. The Aphex Twins, Doja Cats).

Pulling up to the self serve gasoline station and saying loudly

FILLER UP WITH REGULAR

the American Dream

I need new SLACKS

“Do you smoke marijuana cigarettes?”

I'll have the diet plate.

How do you say “roll the window down/up” nowadays?

Calling the television you or anyone owns now a "color" tv. I accidentally did that once in the 90s. I knew it sounded weird the second the words left my mouth.

Wanna go steady?

" .... out of wedlock."

My pink hole is dusty!!

He's a MAKEOUT ARTIST

Her friends are ORIENTAL.

"Darkies"

She's friends with those DARKIES.

Lifetime is television for BROADS.

The rabbit died.

I LOVE my BLUE JEANS.

Dungarees

"I've got a gift certificate" (I had to learn to say gift CARD)

I've always liked WALL TO WALL carpeting.

Sue me- I did it five words or more.

do you take food stamps?

Trick or treat for UNICEF!

We're having MEATLOAF for dinner.

Do have any FRESCA?

I can't find my POCKETBOOK.

"I'm going to Thrifty's" (my Mom still says this even though Meijer hasn't gone by the name Thrifty Acres in 40+ years)

She's not wearing a slip

That towhead little boy

I'm going to Price Club.

Where are my SPECTACLES?

My girdle is too tight

I love STATION WAGONS.

Instead of saying-

No problem

or

No worries

you say

You're Welcome

Got it at the Five & Dime

Pass me the margarine.

she's got the Slimmer's Disease

"Better learn your math, you won't be able to carry a calculator around all the time"

on a low-fat diet

“Less filling. Tastes great.”

Particularly at this time of the year: "Do you have 'Lay-Away?"

Once upon a time, banks offered Christmas Club savings accounts, where you'd make deposits during the year specifically for holiday gift buying.

I put stuff on layaway at KMart and other discount department stores (Ames, Hills) in the 90s all the time. Up until a few years ago, i believe Wal-Mart still accepted layaway as well.

Let's not mistake good manners for sounding old.

You're welcome.

"Hold the Phone!" when asking a subject to cease in an action

Stop the presses!

Where’s the beef?

I'll take the Sunday paper.

Here's a dime for the payphone

As a hairdresser, I get flummoxed every time we are in mixed company and my mom calls me a “beautician”.

Live via Satellite! While watching Miss Universe of course,

"____ to high heaven."

Another GRID death.

"Get a horse."

"That and a nickel will buy you a cup of coffee."

Do you have pennycandy?

OP sounds like an idiot.

I 'm old and would have no idea what he was talking about either except taking credit cards.

Call my service for messages.

[quote]Can I please get a rain check*?

Rain Checks are still issued in my supermarket (Safeway). My neighbor has rain checks from more than five years ago that are still honored. She got a rain check for frozen turkey at $.59 a pound, which was honored for a 20lb turkey at $2.69 a pound. The manager at Safeway knows her by sight!

Any beer in the icebox?

R110 Unbelievable!

Were you born in a barn? (close the door).

I’ll send for my things.

Suburbs call collect!

Shall I be Mother?

Reposition the rabbit ears!

I can't find the Clicker!

212 for Queens

I was talking with my students about a particular subject, which included returning to the original premise. I said anyone know what mean by “ ET phone home” ?

My dorm is co-ed.

[quote]Here's a dime for the payphone

Or just “payphone”.

What the fuck are you going on about, OP? Start an EST clearly. Don't fucked up it with a switcheroo on expressions.

Have you checked the carburetor?

Do you fry with lard or crisco?

attend college in New Haven

It's half past two.

It’s a quarter after five.

I don’t need the ignition key, I need the key to unlock the door.

I had to explain to a high school (!!) student that quarter to 3 was 2:45

I've gotta check the machine.

Shave and a haircut, two bits.

One pound of “hamburger” please.

I agree completely with R3.

I watched a good picture last night.

My mother would always say, “We’re going to the show” when they were going out to a movie.

Heat it in the Radarange

I’ll have a Sanka.

i made a mix tape!

Tsk, tsk Greg. it was already offered at r50.

Be nice R140. I haven't brought up the "darkies" replies that appeared after my "coloreds" one because they obviously don't have a decent education or time to read every response. Even that Gerg person.

"I bought a CD."

r141 "darkies" and "coloreds" are different words and phrases (though the meaning is the same). They both infer a different time and different place. Coloreds was mostly Southern and more around the 50s/60s. Darkies was a bit more...widespread, and I heard it in the Buffalo area in the fucking 90s still.

I was once on a service trip with high school students and overheard one of them say:

“I just found out why we say someone drank the Kool-Aid. Apparently there was a cult and the cult leader convinced everyone in the cult to drink poisoned Kool-Aid and they all died.”

The other students said, “Really?”

I was very surprised they didn’t know the truth behind the idiom.

As an aside, the drink that was used in the Jonestown massacre was the brand Flavor Aid, NOT Kool-Aid.

Large barrels filled with the grape variety of Flavor Aid laced with cyanide and a variety of tranquillizer drugs, were found half-consumed amidst the hundreds of bodies.

Eh, R12 -- I've had quite a number of younger men ask me if I've checked the carburetor on my motorcycle.

Yeah, there are some motorcycles still made with carburetors (I just read 5%), but they tend to be small dirt bikes.

Just sayin'.

Thank you, R140.

How about:

“I’ll have a Postum.”

Radar Range

Please pahss the All Fruit.

Don't you have any Sweet-N-Low??

Sorry - I meant R124.

Some of you oldsters do not understand word count.

Meet me at the Automat.

Sweet-N-Low is one word

Back in the day…

He’s light in his loafers.

Drop a dime on him!

Keys are on the chiffonnette !!

He’s not the marrying kind.

Nightly BICENTENNIAL MINUTES.

[quote] Keys are on the chiffonnette !!

I think you meant "chifferobe."

Go to the print shop.

"Do you CARRY this brand?!"

A few years ago my neighborhood was experiencing extended power outages during the winter. I went into Walmart and asked where the transistor radios were. The faces were blank - no idea. Anyway - they had them. For under $20 a nice little transistor radio.

ElderLez/R161. You're alive! Someone was spreading a rumor you had died of cancer in another thread.

Join me on the divan.

I’ll have a sherry.

Go buy me some cigarettes.

I’ll go get a condom.

I have that on Betamax

Rumors of my demise were exaggerated.

R160 quite right…autocorrect error

I say, “Holy Cow” or “Holy Mackerel”.

AFAIK, no one in my family or friend groups says either so I’m not sure where/how I picked them up.

NPO, hi there! I also say "Holy Cow," and "Holy Mackerel," mainly at work or in public places. Glad to know I'm in your good company. Sometimes, I'll bring out that old standby, "Hellsbells." That always leaves the youngsters scratching their heads.

I need to pay the light bill.

Holy cats! is my go-to.

The Schwann Guy comes today.

Get me my rolodex

I like this MOTION PICTURE

I would like some REFRESHMENTS

Unfold the map

I love your DINETTE set.

We have a flat screen!!

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. It's my pleasure."

R149- For you.

Smoking or nonsmoking?

r184: how sweet, thank you!

I forgot to pack my camera

Veal Prince Orloff.

Call my service.

Be choosy choose geniune BELL.

It takes every ounce of my being to refrain from calling a dance club a “disco.”

And the phrase, “every ounce of my being” probably qualifies as well.

A Tab with crushed ice.

Would you tape the show for me?

I need a xerox copy — horrors to not say photocopy

I admit. I did ask someone in the post office if they still sold aerogrammes…. Looked at me like I’m from outer space

Or… asking someone for a pen ( another horror) oh just take a picture

Let’s go to the discotheque.

what's your fax number?

I have to hang up. (American)

I must ring off. (British)

The AVON lady is here.

Just Fruit Cocktail for me.

SLIDE OVER I’ll drive.

R192- Greg please talk proper English. It’s Greg’s Mother not Greg’s MOM.

I'll have Perrier™

r200, there's nothing wrong with Greg referring to his mother as his mom.

R202- It's simply improper English.

[quote] Greg please talk proper English. It’s Greg’s Mother not Greg’s MOM.

That.

And referring to your mom as if her name is “Mother”. Creepy as fuck.

What's wrong with "Mother"?

Dialing rotary phone with pencil ✏️

Candy bar.

They're still around, R207.

"I bought with S & H Green Stamps."

My mom loved her stamps.

They were caught necking

Potted meat for lunch?

^with marijuana or from the toilet?

“Gypped” or “gypsy” will get you in big trouble with woke youth.

^That’s retarded.

I’m going to the five and dime. In Beverly Hills, ontra cafeteria .

Can you xerox this for me

R17, I hate it when I say “thanks” and a youngster answers with “no problem”.

Craigslist hookup

R217 it’s not just youngsters who say that, in my experience. It’s really caught on with many generations, unfortunately.

Magazine personal ad

R197 R198

R9 Abraham and Straus had a small charge plate attached to my mom's key chain.

[quote]I hate it when I say “thanks” and a youngster answers with “no problem”.

Why? It’s synonymous with “you’re welcome.”

When a barista poured the last amount of milk in the cup, I said "Good to the last drop." She had no reaction.

R223 is an idiot who cannot differentiate between a response that LITERALLY focuses on a thanked act as not being a "problem" and a response that is assuring and polite.

"De nada" and other iterations of "It was nothing" mean something entirely different than does "no problem." "No problem" was an invention of shits and has caught on because shits are proliferating. An unwillingness to discern the meanings and conventions of language, even as language changes, shows the same kind of peevish self-regard that makes "no problem" offensive.

"I am right to be rude and am fine with being rude" is their creed. "Idiot" is a compliment compared to the more-likely alternative.

TikTok? [or Instagram] What for?

No R222. It is passive aggressive. It means: “You dared to bother me with your request but I declare it not a problem”.

He’s as dull as dishwater.

R11- Speaking from 1904.

Christopher Reeve - the real Superman.

R227 no worries 😌

Shoes off the counterpane.

Oh My Sides

Oh, my stars and garters!!!

What is your source

Or

Do you have any data

Or

Is there any actual proof.

R225 wants to feel angry for no reason.

[quote]I hate it when I say “thanks” and a youngster answers with “no problem”.

[quote]Why? It’s synonymous with “you’re welcome.”

I am an eldergay and agree with r223. The meaning and intention is the same. R225 ought to switch to decaf.

The latest thing I'm hearing from the young is:

"I appreciate you", which is cute.

My dad was like Archie Bunker

I said that to a medical PA asking questions about my health. Trying to explain he was very sedentary. Then I realize the PA who was probably 35 didn't laugh, didn't get the joke he didn't know who Archie Bunker was. Probably thinks I was talking about my neighbor.

Geez Louise

Surprise, Surprise

For God's Sake = OLD

For Fuck's Sake = NEW

“Writing’s a coffee lover’s dream!”

Where's the Clicker

Be kind, rewind.

Where's my car cassette player?

Check the carburetor

Where do I put gas

Someone Crank the engine

My aunt gave me 1 year use of her Brooks Brothers account for my college graduation. 1980s. There was no card, just "charge it to Mrs. _________". I was very grateful but I would have preferred Paul Stuart, Chipp, or even Saks. I also wasn't sure how much I could charge so I kept it very reasonable.

The tests are back that does not seem to be an infected pimple in your ass.

R199

Perrier is still around - at least in the Mid-Atlantic and NY.

Let me get my cassettes.

[quote] I was once on a service trip with high school students

Holy Cow! You’re allowed around high school students?!

Slap on....Slap off !!!!!!

[quote] I am an eldergay and agree with [R223]. The meaning and intention is the same. [R225] ought to switch to decaf.

[quote] The latest thing I'm hearing from the young is: "I appreciate you", which is cute.

I am with R225. Even if the meaning and intention are the same, that’s only because society has allowed “No problem” to evolve. I make a point to say “You’re welcome” as much as I can because it not only acknowledges the effort I made to do something for someone else, but the fact they recognized it and appreciated it enough to thank me in return.

I don’t hear “I appreciate you” as much as I hear “‘Preciate you!” namely from MSNBC anchors of a certain type and their fanboys like Ari Melber. Whenever I’ve tried it, the phrase sounds foreign the minute it escapes my lips and I feel like a poser.

And that’s my next entry to this thread, in five words or less… “I feel like a poser”.

^^^^^sorry (autocorrect error) should be "Clap on....Clap off!!!!!"

I love my chain smoking! 🚬

I'm between the devil and the deep blue sea!

Newfangled.

Say anything in a Trans-Atlantic accent and you sound old

Charmed, I’m sure.

Who wants to move West?

Turkey with all the fixins.

Early Bird Special, please!

[quote] My dad was like Archie Bunker. I said that to a medical PA asking questions about my health. Trying to explain he was very sedentary.

Why would you use Archie Bunker as an example of somebody being sedentary? Even if he got the reference, the most logical deduction would be that your dad was a loudmouthed racist. That was Archie's most salient character trait.

Does anyone have any one have any White Out?

^ I do.

I’m traveling to the coast.

On vacation I use SUNTAN 🧴 lotion.

After You

R268 Suntan oil!

I drive a tan Mercury Grand Marquis with cloth seats.

[quote] Does anyone have any one have any White Out?

Wite-Out

Enjoy this fine, corinthian leather

Pardon me.

Why would you say, “Do you guys take plastic?” if you wanted plastic cutlery? You’re the one who wants to “take plastic,” not them.

Could this be a Natasha trying to translate and old phrase she came across?

“Vat is “take plastic”? Vy dey say dis?”

I recently said to a young gayling, "Honey, get off your soapbox!"

I have a condom.

A few years ago, a friend and I were in a store and there was a 6 year old girl singing to herself. My friend said,"I'm going to buy your first album when it comes out!" When we left the store I told my friend that the girl probably has no idea what an album is.

Dial the phone.

Years ago I was in a dentists office and the tech said she’d clean my teeth. She came at me with the drill thingy and I said, “Is it safe?”

And she said, “Oh yes, of course it is! I do this every day.”

I sheepishly explained to her that it was a famous line from a movie where a man gets tortured with a dentist drill by Sir Laurence Olivier and she said, “Who?”

I said, “He tortures Dustin Hoffman.”

“Who’s Dustin Hoffman?”

I guess it was in the early 2000s, so my bad. It was a really old movie by that time,

I’m going to the beauty parlor.

Took me years to force myself to say “hair salon.”

“Pizza parlor” was another one.

R163 you reminded me of best transistor radio I ever had. Bought one for everyone in my family in 1980s. Had a little kickstand in the back but it had a blue band in the US, not a red band. Took it with me the day of the first WTC attack in 1993. Stuck it in my pocket, went to my doctor appointment (downtown NYC) and said, “Can I turn this on? There’s been a bombing at WTC,” and the whole office went “WHAT!?”

Doctors waiting rooms used to be packed in those days. No phones or computers to notify anyone what was going on back then. We listened to WCBS News Radio give instructions to people who were calling the radio station from inside WTC to find out what was happening.

Eight years later was a very different situation.

R283 also listened to WCBS on a transistor radio for hours on 9/11, but at work.

Back to the task: Year 2000 compliance term

Drop a dime.

Defrost the Kelvinator.

Cut me a switch!

[quote] Dial MUrray Hill five oh one five nine.

I only knew Murray Hill Seven - Seven five hundred.

That’s Murray Hill Seven- Seven five hundred.

Call now!

Call collect!

Operators are standing by to take your call!

Now you're cooking with gas!

My pager just went off.

Beep me

Ancient Chinese secret, huh?

Greeting a Native American by saying, “How.”

I read it on Datalounge.

Where are all the ashtrays?

“Oh brother!”

R281- You go to the Beauty Parlor

Are you a DRAG QUEEN?

Sherbet

I'm not getting a dialtone.

There's nothing on tv tonight.

“Hello, operator?”

“Information, please”

“Calling all cars”

R282- Ice Cream Parlor

Let's go bowling tonight.

Gentlemen Prefer Hanes

He's a DREAMBOAT!

i'm washing my hair tonight...

I’m waiting until marriage.

Can I get a light?

Can you fix my Victrola?

“Hello I am Miss Cleo!”

My live-in lover and I….

What is the dress code?

Yes, this is fur

R 223: no problem is NOT synonymous with your welcome . When I hear it I think … problem .. is there a problem here ?… I just thanked you for the coffee , whatever and you say it is not a problem . Why would I have a problem idiot? You’re serving me it’s your fucking job.

R 223: no problem is NOT synonymous with your welcome . When I hear it I think … problem .. is there a problem here ?… I just thanked you for the coffee , whatever and you say it is not a problem . Why would I have a problem idiot? You’re serving me it’s your fucking job.

When I was in college we registered for classes by “ visiting the computer .” No shit. UCLA Kerkoff Hall. Folding chairs assembled in a huge room. We sat and waited til we were called and walked behind the divider to visit the computer ,

Those were the days . I’m really old but I enjoyed my life maybe . I saw Neil young and Elton john in Royce hall for $2.50.

It's mainly service people who say "no problem." It just seems churlish and downright miserable to be so offended by that. Obviously, they've performed to your satisfaction - such that you've said, "Thank you." Now, you want to dictate the response? GTFO.

I’ve taken a lover.

We had cybersex!

Who goes downtown? It’s dangerous!

[quote]R 223: no problem is NOT synonymous with your welcome . When I hear it I think … problem .. is there a problem here ?… I just thanked you for the coffee , whatever and you say it is not a problem . Why would I have a problem idiot? You’re serving me it’s your fucking job.

[quote]—Hot coffee in your face — that’s the oro

You and r225 sound like rage-filled psychopaths, r312. Calling people "idiots" over something as ridiculous and inconsequential as language? Hot coffee in someone's face over language? Are you insane?

...and WTF is an "oro"?

[quote]Why would you use Archie Bunker as an example of somebody being sedentary?

Because Archie lived in a relining char. There were even episodes about not sitting in Archie's chair. It wasn't all about racism. Your memory has faded.

[quote]Your memory has faded.

I think maybe yours has, r320. It was mostly about racism. That is absolutely the thing people remember about Archie Bunker.

Archie didn't "live in a relining char [sic]". That's where he spent his evenings. He worked every day and was fairly active.

R319 doesn't know what a psychopath is (Oh. dear.) and thinks that language is "ridiculous and inconsquential." (Oh, dear.)

She's the kind of twat who expects to be congratulated for her errors.

OK. Congratulations, idiot.

Archie also sat on the terlet quite a bit.

Back to the task: The main frame is down.

[quote]inconsquential

If you're going to "oh, dear" me, darling, you could at least quote me properly, r322.

Also, "idiot", again? You could be a tad more varied and inventive with your insults. Just a suggestion. Also, please explain what "that's the oro" means, and why do think it's ok to throw hot coffee at someone?

[quote]Archie also sat on the terlet quite a bit.

Lol, true, ElderLez...the point remains that Archie was better known for his racism than for his sedentary and terlet habits. I am also still trying to reconcile OP's "Do you take plastic?" with wanting plastic take out utensils.

...maybe I'm too old.

:)

[quote]Why would you say, “Do you guys take plastic?” if you wanted plastic cutlery? You’re the one who wants to “take plastic,” not them.

That poster has probably been confusing waitstaff for a good 50 years.

My favorite cheese 🧀 is Wine Cheddar.

Archie was a bigot first and foremost for sure; especially in the early years of the show, Stargazer.

A run in my nylons

[quote] Archie was better known for his racism than for his sedentary and terlet habits.

Yes, but THE CHAIR was a running thing in dozens of episodes. Someone even did a countdown.

Put the frozen lima beans in the ice box

Long distance is so expensive.

I got your Telex

My Filofax keeps me organized.

You a sound like a broken phonograph record.

I'll pay extra for Airmail.

"I'm sending it Special Delivery."

I’m on the worldwide web!

Actually, you might be right.

I'd like to make a collect call please

Madge, I’m soaking in it.

The Men's Hats department, please.

Slug Bug

More cowbell

Get in gear.

Dial up internet.

Automatic seatbelts

i have a 33.6 kbps fax/modem!

The isinglass curtains are shot.

Roll down the awning, Frank!

Saying do you remember the episode where…

I Love Lucy Benson Flintstones Jetson’s

Etc., etc.

It comes with bucket seats.

He propositioned her.

He made a pass at her.

Let’s get it on

I’m reading Barbra Streisand’s memoir.

I'm sweatin to the oldies

I’m watching NCIS.

"Tain't funny, McGee!"

Light the furnace.

Wash your teeth.

Leave the milkman a note.

Like my Toni home perm?

Blue rinse with violet touches

[quote]When a barista poured the last amount of milk in the cup, I said "Good to the last drop." She had no reaction.

R224, are you my mother? The older she became and the more addled her brain, the more she reverted to this sort of shit, making little jokes with restaurant staff not 1/4 her age and expecting that they would remember jingles and slogans and catch-phrases from the 1930s and 1940s. She thought they were being uppity for not laughing like jackals for not understanding her antiquated references (and would not leave them that dime tip she had had in mind.)

How much should I tip the paperboy?

Mind if I smoke?

"Know any short-order restaurants?"

referring to Vivian Vance

referring to the eternal Gale Gordon

Please send this fax.

Up to snuff

Lol, true, ElderLez...the point remains that Archie was better known for his racism than for his sedentary and terlet habits

He was a longshoreman, working “Down dere at duh loadin dock “ all day.

And anyone in NYC knows he wasn’t a WASP. You had to be Irish Catholic, to work on the docks back in the day. Norman Lear didn’t want Irish Catholics to complain at CBS so he made him a WASP.

Maude and Walter were Jewish, but again, Lear made them WASP to avoid controversy.

[quote]Maude and Walter were Jewish, but again, Lear made them WASP to avoid controversy.

Why would anyone do something like that? We've never heard of such a thing!

We don't know why either

Keep those whippersnappers in line!

Hand me the TV Guide

My lumbago is back.

Oops. I shit my pants.

You go to a restaurant and say to the waitress-0

I would like a large bowl of MACARONI and cheese.

R370- The Fonz was Jewish but they made him Italian to avoid controversy

and people think I'm dumb

I grew up in a household where my father went to work and my mother stayed at home.

I have a bill fold.

Roll down the window (in a car). Dial the phone.

I love Sealtest ice cream.

More Park sausages Ma, Please!

Please deposit 25 cents for the next five minutes.

Shame! Shame !, you've got curlers in your hair!

Hand me the Aqua Net

Where did I leave my curling iron?

There are still stay-at-home mothers R379.

I love this Pizza 🍕 Parlor.

NYC has many Chicanos.

I love this Motorcourt.

Where’s the outhouse?

Yes, R388, but do they self-identify as housewives?

It's my avow-ed opinion that...

E393, no. They identify as "SAHMs" and make quite a big deal of it. But you'll notice that the original phrasing referred to a household where Dad went to work and Mom stayed home. "Housewife" didn't enter into it.

My car has a cd AND a cassette player.

He’s an acknowledged homophile.

My 69 year old aunt says “I need to call Uber” (when ordering an Uber using an iPhone app). Sounding both old and with it at the same time! I’m just happy she knows how to arrange for a ride using an app!

“Check the payphone for dimes!”

“This is the party line!”

"Ok, you can hang up!"

Did a number on me.

It was not a nuthouse!

It still goes up.

I remember the Welcome Wagon.

My beautician is a homosexual.

Using the word "diss" or "dissed" (disrespected) sounds old, to me.

Moving pictures.

R408- I have a better one.

MOTION pictures

"Say! Take a powder!

R398, you reminded me of my late mom. When she gave up driving (=when we took away her car keys), we put Uber on her phone but she never got the hang of using it. And she’d generically say “Go find it on the yahoo” for any random online task.

[quote] something as ridiculous and inconsequential as language

wrote r319.

I have no words. SMH

"Yes I pay in cash"...

Do you have thumbtacks?

Dreamboat.

Foxy (Sexy, attractive circa 1970s.)

Swimmingly.

Do we have any mercurochrome?

No? How about iodine?

Mom always brought Jiffy Pop.

Have you got a match?

Battery of the month club

I used this one today. "Your needle is skipping"

"Singing telegram for..."*

*I'm not sure this wasn't a trope invented for tv sitcoms. Maybe it was more of an LA thing in RL?

No R421 it was everywhere duh…for silly people

I’m on pins and needles!

Reader’s Digest.

I eat dinner at 4 pm.

R420- You sound like a broken phonograph record.

Tippecanoe and Tyler, too.

Warm up the car.

Marijuana should be illegal.

You look like a goddamn faggot

I take Ayds to maintain.

______ at AOL dot com.

Sex on a stick!

Throws a mean fuck!

"Goes to the machine" (for "goes to voicemail").

This tv is cable ready!

That’s six, r430, you faggot.

My lady poosie needs fucked.

Have you seen the dippitydoo?

Mother presses my slacks.

“Galoot”

Whazzup!?!?

I like the way you fill out your pants.

"He's a good lay."

“I always use condoms.”

"Don't touch that TV antenna!!!"

Sec on a stick!

And sex on a stick!

Do you observe casual Fridays?

“I’ll take a dollar’s worth of gas.”

Who’s gonna get up and fix the rabbit ears?

TURN OFF THAT KAFFIR MUSIC!

OP is worse than Hitler.

Gag me with a spoon.

Geritol for "tired blood."

I bought Star Shower ULTRA9

She has a nice figure

He’s a “snack”.

Boop-boop-a-doop and hotcha, toots!

Her "aunt Flo" is visiting.

Pssst -pssst she used to have a nice figure, but now , look at her

My poosey is drooping nowadays.

Do you take Diners Club? 💳

How do you do?

Condoms ONLY

We were talking about the origins of the Sears Roebuck catalog in my History class, and I had prepared a little lesson with images of old issues from the 80s because I assumed that my students wouldn't know what it is. To my surprise, they remember catalogs from when they were little. I guess catalogs were still around in the mid to late 2000s.

They were mystified by the Sony walkman, however. To them, ipods are vintage.

Where are my specs?

Come again??

Even in the 2020s not every establishment will accept credit cards so it doesn't hurt to ask.

Two years ago I encountered that at a new dry cleaner.

R469, not accepting credit cards nowadays is like not having a front door. It's ridiculous. I am aware that accepting cards costs merchants money. They should raise their prices accordingly and take credit and debit like every other business.

Mind you, I feel the same way about businesses that don't open on Sundays; unfortunately, that seems to be all dry cleaners in my areas. It must a conspiracy!

There's a reason for cash only businesses.

R470 It probably means something is going on at the back door.

“Discount for cash?” “She’s not wearing a petticoat” Living in sin Having a love child Slacks and a car coat (casual wear) Darning socks

^^ I haven’t posted for a while and forgot that it would appear in one sentence. Damn.

My name is Edna Purviance.

My name is Marjorie Main.

My name is Thelma Todd.

My name is Madonna.

“I am surprised that two gay men would engage in anal sex on camera in the US Capitol then post it on line for all to see”

Say that and you sound really old and not with the times.

I’m going to the variety store now to buy a new toaster oven.

The coloreds are moving in.

Why did OP lie to the waitress about what he meant by “do you take plastic?” Why switch to “do you give plastic utensils with takeout?” instead of clarifying that he meant “do you take credit cards?”

Referring to inputting text as “typing”

Calling a social media account a “page”

Referring to your (probably one and only) phone as your “mobile” or your “cellphone.”

"Her best song since Erotica"

"What is PrEP?"

"A school for the retarded".

Don't forget to put on your windbreaker.

"Cher's Christmas album rocks!"

Bucky Dent is a FOX 🦊!

"I heard it on MySpace"

"Perez Hilton"

"Is it in yet?"

“Can I help you with your seat?”

Paper or plastic?

Regular or unleaded?

OP, You're dopey from the git-go. "Take," for one thing, is the exact opposite of "Give," as in your meaning of "Give plastic utensils with take-out."

"Take plastic" has ALWAYS meant (no "I thought" or "used to" about it) "Accept credit cards in payment."

"Dial" a number.

"Can you jot this down?"

Young Miss Lindzey looks fabulous?

Everyone I know still dials a number…that term carried over just fine to mobile devices.

And, dial tone is still a thing. As is, is it ringing?

You call a number now.

R191- It takes every once of MY being to refrain from dance club a DISCOTEQUE

Nights and weekend minutes.

Turn down that fucking noise.

“She looks like Doris Day.”

Said this to two coworkers under 30. Both said “Who?”

I can’t get it up.

“Why won’t Bill Bailey come home?” I got the predictable blank looks when I posed this question to my much younger co-workers.

I then said: Well, she looks a little like Olivia Newton-John. The wholesome type.

“Who’s that?” “I don’t know who that is.”

“She was the lead in Grease.”

“Oh! I heard of that!”

“I have tickets for Madonna.”

R414 They’re still called thumbtacks. I don’t get it.

Going by rules: "A notch in his bedpost."

Normally it would be sad, "I was just another notch on his bedpost".

*said

I said "where's the beef!?!" to a Grindr hookup.

Ground beef?

Prime cut?

Chuck?

Younger people eat beef.

Heaven's to Betsy---courtesy of my grandma

Go get me my pocketbook!---courtesy of my mom

Fetch me my diet pills.

The Dinner Special’s at four.

"What does that acronym mean??"

I’ll have a glass of beer

My waterbed is heating up.

I still have my key to the Playboy club- Jealous?

When poosie itches, I scratch.