Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

That's it. I'm never taking care of stray cats again.

I've been taking care of strays for years now (feeding them, giving them shelter in my garden, TNR) but I can't do it anymore. It's too much sadness and stress. I shouldn't get attached but I do, and then after while, they eventually go missing and I end up worrying/never getting closure.

It's awful to get attached to a cat, then it randomly vanishes one day and never returns. This has happened with so many cats over the years, and I simply can't cope with the anxiety anymore because I an a worrier by nature.

Currently, I'm dealing with a missing cat. He was/is the last one after all the others moved on/vanished. Now, he's gone too. I haven't seen him at all in five days, and I've rewinded security footage and everything. He's been here for years and usually goes for walks around the cul de sac, but makes multiple visits a day for food and often sleeps in my garden shelters, but he's not coming back this time.

If he does return, I'll continue to care for him, but refuse to take care of any others. I just can't handle more cats.

by Anonymousreply 39November 18, 2023 3:55 AM

Be strong and feed those kitties.

by Anonymousreply 1November 11, 2023 2:48 PM

OP, you know you aren't just taking care of the cats. You're also treating rats, mice, and other creatures. I bet your neighbors just love you!

by Anonymousreply 2November 11, 2023 2:49 PM

Maybe you should get an indoor cat.

by Anonymousreply 3November 11, 2023 2:50 PM

((Hugs)) OP

You’re doing good work

by Anonymousreply 4November 11, 2023 2:59 PM

It's very admirable what you have been doing, but it is a never ending obligation, and there are always more cats to take care of. I used to do this many years ago, but I no longer have the drive to keep doing it.

by Anonymousreply 5November 11, 2023 3:13 PM

After 20 years of feral cat TNR, maintaining two fixed feral colonies, many street rescue of strays, and all the heartache that goes with it, I’ve “retired.” The burn out is real. I understand where you’re coming from.

by Anonymousreply 6November 11, 2023 3:21 PM

You're acting like a child, OP. This is about homeless animals and their needs, not yours.

by Anonymousreply 7November 11, 2023 4:50 PM

This reads like a thinly veiled metaphor for all the homeless dick OP brings home.

by Anonymousreply 8November 11, 2023 4:55 PM

OP, I want you to (RE)read T.H. White’s “The Sword in the Stone” wherein Arthur becomes a goose.

When you are tired, someone else will see the need and address it in their own way. We are a team even though we forget that some times.

Good job, eat some grass.

by Anonymousreply 9November 11, 2023 5:05 PM

TNR doesn't work but it feels good for people

by Anonymousreply 10November 11, 2023 5:19 PM

Where do you live that there are so many strays? If you’re shy to disclose, city, suburbs or country?

by Anonymousreply 11November 11, 2023 5:25 PM

R11 where in the world are there NOT cat colonies?

by Anonymousreply 12November 11, 2023 6:03 PM

I haven’t seen any colonies around me. There was a single cat that came around. Might have been a stray. No collar. Haven’t seen him for a while and I’ve wondered what happened to him. But colonies? Not around here.

by Anonymousreply 13November 11, 2023 8:11 PM

We have 4 senior pets and also help others. We've buried more than a dozen. I can't deal with it anymore. I can barely tallk about it.

I suggest taking a break. It can be overwhelming.

by Anonymousreply 14November 11, 2023 8:21 PM

Well, I get your feelings. I also get the feelings of those who say the cats need you, and they do but more than that I wish people would get their doggone cats fixed and also not abandon these little guys so they become strays.

by Anonymousreply 15November 11, 2023 8:25 PM

TNR work is rewarding but you definitely get burned out after awhile. I stopped altogether when I helped a family member with a TNR situation that ended in disaster. Not gonna go into details but it depressed me for a long time.

No one should judge you for needing to step away. Be kind to yourself for the work you did do.

by Anonymousreply 16November 11, 2023 8:45 PM

R11 Many places have few to no strays

by Anonymousreply 17November 11, 2023 8:45 PM

Near certain restaurants, r17?

by Anonymousreply 18November 16, 2023 4:49 AM

Some people (and cats) believe they should go outside, but we've always kept them in, except when I would take the most stable, biggest boys out with me. Never beyond our yard. And all our cats are spayed/neutered. It calms them down quite a bit. Keep your babies inside, OP, if you want to make sure they're safe.

by Anonymousreply 19November 16, 2023 5:52 AM

OP here. The stray I care for came back yesterday for about five minutes to eat, then wandered off and I haven't seen him since. Maybe this is just his new routine. He used to be here all the time, now it's rare.

by Anonymousreply 20November 16, 2023 11:44 AM

R20 he must be getting regular meals elsewhere; good for him! (And you)

by Anonymousreply 21November 16, 2023 7:41 PM

r21 I don't know. He wasn't neutered until I took him to the vet, plus he needed stitches for an injury last year. I feel like if he had another home, they would have taken him to the vet.

He's done this before (randomly vanishing for a while, but every time it happens I worry and think I'll never see him again).

by Anonymousreply 22November 16, 2023 8:13 PM

R22, the cat will be nicer and wander less after being neutered.

by Anonymousreply 23November 16, 2023 10:34 PM

I'm taking care of 4 now (had them spayed and neutered). I just imagine if mine were lost and hope someone would feed and water them as I do.

by Anonymousreply 24November 16, 2023 10:50 PM

Since we're not all lunatics like you and some other posters here are, OP, tell us, do, what the "unhelpful" TNR you have performed just to feel good about yourselves is.

You know, while leaving feral cats to run around killing birds and spreading FIV, toxoplasmosis, feline leukemia virus, distemper, rabies and so many parasites you probably have an excuse for your own conditions. At least you can feel special about your sad selves.

by Anonymousreply 25November 16, 2023 10:53 PM

The Circle of Life holds many mysteries, OP.

Imagine: the "missing" cats are reincarnated and return to your tender care. I like the thought, and will discuss it with Miss Peanut during tomorrow's daily session.

Keep on keeping on. They need (and love) you. 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻

by Anonymousreply 26November 16, 2023 11:02 PM

We adopted three feral cats fed by a cat lady over the course of Covid and we had a financial crisis and can no longer afford the cats. They are still here, but I don’t know what will happen.

by Anonymousreply 27November 17, 2023 12:08 AM

R27 This is another reason not to feed cats, now the cats are dependent, you did not adopt them, you fed them, I hope you didn't bring them in and turned them out now?

by Anonymousreply 28November 17, 2023 1:13 AM

Pics, OP!

by Anonymousreply 29November 17, 2023 1:18 AM

[quote]TNR doesn't work

How so?

by Anonymousreply 30November 17, 2023 2:42 PM

There have been multiple studies showing it doesn't work and is cruel, once again it makes people FEEL good, it's cruel and stressful, then you throw them back out. Look it up.

by Anonymousreply 31November 17, 2023 3:03 PM

r31 How is it cruel?

by Anonymousreply 32November 17, 2023 5:25 PM

Am I needed here?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 33November 17, 2023 6:04 PM

Yeah, how is spaying/neutering a feral cat not helping? It greatly reduces the feral cat population.

I ended up trapping a stray my friend had been watching on video that would come around his place. We thought it was a lost cat on a poster in his neighborhood.

It wasn’t. It turned out to be the absolute most loving, affectionate little baby. Of course, I kept him. I already had one cat and he had been wanting a companion.

Now the once stray wants to be carried around constantly like a baby or sit in my lap. I don’t think he’s a cat at all.

by Anonymousreply 34November 17, 2023 7:20 PM

[quote]Now the once stray wants to be carried around constantly like a baby

My cat's like this. I've been wondering whether I should buy a baby sling or something.

by Anonymousreply 35November 17, 2023 11:05 PM

[R20] I'm glad it came back.

by Anonymousreply 36November 18, 2023 12:15 AM

Plenty of links it is cruel and not effective.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 37November 18, 2023 12:33 AM

[quote]Now the once stray wants to be carried around constantly like a baby

That means he was once a pet, not a feral. He was socialized by someone.

by Anonymousreply 38November 18, 2023 12:52 AM

Well, whoever it was didn’t have him chipped and let him escape as a kitten, since he was only a year old when I trapped him.

by Anonymousreply 39November 18, 2023 3:55 AM
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.


Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!