I’d like to tell my neighbours to go fuck themselves. Any tips?

Pick up the garbage and dump it all over the front of their door.

I sympathize with you, OP. The problen js that you have to continue to live as neighbors. How about first asking them very clearly to please put garbage bags in the bin so as not to attract bugs, etc. Do you have a superintendent or building manager you can complain to?

I agree, however, that R1's suggestion is far more a "fuck you," and I approve of it.

Order maggots online, then just go leave a huge trail of them from their front door to that garbage. When you've neatly created this trail, go ring their doorbell and run. That's worked for me in the past.

Go tell them politely to properly dispose of their trash, or leave them a courteous note explaining your concerns.

You’ll feel better. If they refuse to comply, submit a complaint to the governmental jurisdiction.

OP this kind of behavior calls for extreme measure. R1 / R4 while being quite unstable are kinds of options you should consider. These people must be taught a lesson, because they have no conscience of their own, clearly. Do you know anyone who works for the city or whatever governing body that might intervene?

[quote] submit a complaint to the governmental jurisdiction.

R5, what government jursidiction deals with shitty neighbors and their garbage?

Seriously, R4? You want maggots crawling around in your hallway? You sound as bad as your neighbor.

R7 Where I live it is the Sanitation Department of the County. I’ve had experience with that.

R8 He didn't say he lived in the same building, dumbass. You assume everyone lives in an apartment?

Why don't you calm down, R10, you cunt? And take some Midol while you're at it.

Where I live, our garbage cans are next to each other on the street at the end of our driveways. A new neighbor kept dumping his nasty unbagged trash into my trash can. I asked him to stop or at least only put bagged items in it. He complied after a few requests. Now he hates me but I don’t care.

Thanks for the replies. I’m in the UK and I do live in a flat but there are just 4 homes in the block and each has its own separate entrance. However, I share a driveway and garden with these psychos.

I could complain to the building management company or the local council, but that’s risky because I then have to disclose to any potential buyers of my property that the neighbours are antisocial. This would make it really hard to sell.

I’ve tried being nice to these people, but they just don’t care. I actually think they must be mentally ill. They are mercifully silent most of the time, but will come alive at some point between midnight and 6am to have a screaming match with each other.

I am so tempted to dump the rubbish at their door, but I genuinely think they would fail to get the message.

I guess I’ll spend Sunday evening looking at potential new homes online again!

You are falling into straight people bullshit and one of them is calling on a queen.

One is leaving a message for the other about taking out the trash. The other refuses to understand. Now, they are going to drag a known homosexual into their bullshit game.

If anything, I’d give a bottle of hand sanitizer & a $20 to an addict and ask him/her to set that shit on fire.

Does anyone have any idea what R14 is banging on about?

[quote] Now, they are going to drag a known homosexual into their bullshit game.

This thread has taken a sinister turn and I love it.

Yes, R14, arson is always the way to go when dealing with an unruly neighbor. What could go wrong?

[quote] a queen

[quote] a known homosexual

Relevance, troll R14?

R15, the most common dispute in an apartment is who takes out the trash. A wonderful piece of ammunition in this demented argument is, “Even the known homosexual next door is complaining about your lazy trash habits!”

This is straight people bullshit. Gay people are tidy.

R17, everyone jokes about grease fires and some of us make them happen. It’s cycle of life stuff.

So R14 assumes OP is a "queen"?

We already know R14 is a troll.

[quote] Gay people are tidy.

That's a leap of faith, R19. I know some who aren't--and they're not "queens," either.

OP be careful. This is how you end up like Jeffrey Spaide.

Leave some cocktail shrimp by their window.

An accident, Dolores…

Maybe it’s me but from the original description I don’t get it. What are bins? In the UK. Cans? What exactly are the neighbors doing?

Please note that the folks tearing my suggestion apart do NOT contribute any tips for living around people who aren’t fuckable.

OP, you need to make what you people refer to as a “placard” apologizing to passersby for all the fisting santorum and post it on that bin.

[quote] Maybe it’s me

It IS just you, R25. You can't figure out what a trash bin is? I live in Connecticut, and even though we call them trash cans, I think anyone over the age of about 10 would know what a bin is. It's quite clear what's happening here. Think hard. You'll get it.

[quote]Pick up the garbage and dump it all over the front of their door.

This is the best way to do it (and do it anonymously). Those kind of people will probably just ignore a note. So you have to show them that there are repercussions.

Also, if you're in the UK, it's illegal to fly-tip. So if your neighbours have any letters or similar identifying them amongst their rubbish, try contacting the council. I sometimes see council employees looking through dumped rubbish for an ID to send a fine to.

Link here -

I'd think the neighbors would assume it's the OP who did it since they share a driveway and yard, R28.

Are the bins on wheels? I'd roll theirs closer to their door and move mine by my door. Hint, hint. Or the neighborly note, something to the effect of: "I came home last night and noticed some torn bags around your bin. As I got closer, I noticed a very large and bold rat rummaging through your bags. I say bold because I had to chase it away. Could you please place your trash inside the bin? If yours is full, please feel free to use mine." Rats motivate people to avoid them.

[QUOTE]I could complain to the building management company or the local council, but that’s risky because I then have to disclose to any potential buyers of my property that the neighbours are antisocial.

Wow. I'm floored by this. You have to disclose if you complained that your neighbors don't dispose their trash properly? Jesus. AFAIK, realtors in the U.S. only need to disclose if there's been a murder or suicide on the premises.

[quote]Pick up the garbage and dump it all over the front of their door.

Then he'll come after you with a AK-47, OP.

Sorry if posting on a wrong thread but I have nosy fucking neighbors, how to fuck with them? without them knowing it's me of course!

Better check to see if they have security cameras, they might catch you doing something bad. so think seriously before doing it

I moved into a great building but unfortunately, the neighbors have no lives and keep track of everything I do!

Tell them skunks love trash and ask them if they like that smell.

[quote] Then he'll come after you with a AK-47, OP.

Is that common outside the U.S.?

r33 Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I’ll pay someone anonymous to go over to the person’s house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, the person is gone, but you know what they’ve left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says “You.” After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

~Modified from the brilliant Jack Handey

[quote] AFAIK, realtors in the U.S. only need to disclose if there's been a murder or suicide on the premises.

That seems equally nonsensical.

[quote]Are the bins on wheels? I'd roll theirs closer to their door and move mine by my door.

How would that help when he's saying they're just dumping the bags, not even putting them in half-empty bins?

[quote]Then he'll come after you with a AK-47, OP.

Not in the UK.

I think Hallmark has a card for this.

[QUOTE]That seems equally nonsensical.

It is, but people believe in shit like bad ju ju, unsettled spirits, ghosts, god, and satan. Probably the majority.

I don't know about you, r38, but I'd much rather the stinky trash and vermin it attracts be closer to their door than mine.

[quote]I don't know about you, but I'd much rather the stinky trash and vermin it attracts be closer to their door than mine.

Obviously - we're agreed on that - I suggested originally that he dump the rubbish back at their door. He said that they're putting the bags down on the ground, not even in any bins.

Three states & seven communities I’ve lived in, if ordinary trash is not bagged, the garbage collectors don’t pick it up.

Open garbage with food residue attracts flies and produces maggots, and rodents will abound.

[quote]They are mercifully silent most of the time, but will come alive at some point between midnight and 6am to have a screaming match with each other.

Cokeheads / crackheads

R27

[quote] My neighbours have once again left bags to rubbish lying beside our bins, despite the fact that the bins are half-empty

I read “our bins” as meaning the person and his partner’s trash bins. Out in front of their home. So I didn’t understand why the neighbors would leave their rubbish beside someone else’s bins/cans. “Despite the fact that the bins are half-empty.” What would that have to do with it?

Now I understand these are community bins (apparently). And the person lives in a multi-unit home.

Where I live individual homes put out trash cans that the town picks up, and condos have dumpsters. Trash is not picked up in multi-dweller units by the town dump trucks. They have private dumpsters.

I don’t think OP was entirely clear but ok if it's just me, so be it.

Do you have fucking proof that they put it there? Do you have security cameras? Maybe some other fucking neighbor did it?

Do you have any body parts to throw in with their trash? That will get something done!

[quote] Now birds or God knows what have started to rip the bags open.

The birds and/or vermin seem to be the real problem, so take out your rifle and starting picking them off. And while you're shooting them, pretend they're your neighbors.

any improvements?

Buy an old large vinyl record album, and a bag of cockroaches from the pet store. Write on the front, “Clean up your trash!” Remove the record, fill the sleeve with bugs, then slip the whole thing underneath their front door.

Check for cameras. Check that no one can see you and put the bags directly in front of their door so they can’t avoid them. If they don’t get the hint then after that escalate to dumping the contents in their doorstep. Be careful though, if they’re having screaming matches in the middle of the night then chances are that they don’t give a fuck about anything/care about the consequences of their actions. They sound a bit ‘council’.

[quote]I’ve tried being nice to these people, but they just don’t care. I actually think they must be mentally ill. They are mercifully silent most of the time, but will come alive at some point between midnight and 6am to have a screaming match with each other.

In that case, R13, you have exhausted the usual steps. Next time, pick up their torn bags of trash, ring their bell, point to the bags of trash you have returned to them, and say, 'This is what I keep asking you about politely. I'm taking this back and disposing of it this last time, but if in the future you leave your trash where it doesn't belong, where it spills on my property, I'll be back around to dump it against your front door. Every time. Do you understand me?'

any updates OP?

Yeah, are you in jail after following the advice on this thread?

Likely, r53

I’m sure his body has been dumped in some outlier woods somewhere.

Take your oldest dildo and leave it on the door step with a note

Hi, OP here. I can’t say things have gotten any better. A few weeks ago, I found that their bin bags had been ripped open, because they hadn’t put them fully into the bin, and left the lid off. I waited for nearly a week for them to clear up the mess, and then gave in and shovelled their crap into the bin. Highlights of the shit was a pair of underpants and actual cat shit.

I’m just amazed that they are incapable of being embarrassed.

I think I’m just going to move. I can’t imagine that things are going to get better here.

Shame you have to move because of those filthy cunts, OP. Why can’t they be fined by some local authority?

I concur with some other posters. If there isn’t a security camera, throw all their gross garbage right in front of their door so they literally have to walk on cat turds, etc. Every night without fail. And the rats and other vermin will know where to feast and ultimately invade their house. Their cat will go crazy. Then they will be the ones to move.

you gonna move over this? why let them win? it's not like they are putting trash inside your house ffs.

send death t.h.reats in their names to popular public figures

You live in squalor, OP.

Send them an anonymous “I’ll get you pussyface” letter.

help me DLers!

My new neighbor vapes and burns candles to cover up the smell. I've also smelled cigarette smoke outside our door way twice. I've brought this up with the landlord but he's fucking her and not doing nothing about it.

Tell me how to fuck with her DL!

Do you own a gun?

R63, nope. that would be too obvious. I want to fuck with this shameless whore (threw herself at the landlord and what man is gonna turn down a sure thing fuck?) without her knowing

The complete moron ratio is unusually high on this thread.

This will end with Jimmmmmmaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!

Has OP found herself face down in the snow?

OP = Beverly Sutphin

Thank you to those who suggested I dump their rubbish in front of their door. That would seem to be a reasonable course of action, but they have been walking over an unopened packet of pudding on their front doorstep for 2 months, and the packet has recently been joined by an empty can of Jack Daniels. They will remain there until I can’t take it any more and remove both items.

Speaking of DUMP on their front door...

yes, all the time. I fucking hate my neighbors

Tell them you have seen rats by the garbage and you hope they don't get into anyone's home.

Buy them a rolling trash bin. The problem is that they leave bags on curb because they’re out of space in their can. Leaving trash in front of their house will do worse than nothing—they wont pick it up and it’ll irritate you every time you check and continues to look like shit.

The generosity of giving them a bin will give you a way to bring it up and they will be indebted to you for your generosity. $75 spent for a bin with wheels and an attached lid will be well spent.

If you spell it "neighbors" it makes you seem tougher.

throw it all back in their back yard, worked for me; although, I nearly got arrested

New Jersey man who screamed racial slurs at his black neighbors and smeared feces on their cars is jailed for EIGHT YEARS after shocking video of his abusive rant went viral: Felon sobbed as he apologized for terrorizing victims

OP I understand the desire but ask yourself if any of your neighbors had a problem with you and instead of reasonably discussing the problem they just told you to go fuck yourself, how would you react?

OP, call the municipality, and report it. That’s the ONLY way it will change. Usually, they’ll be warned; if they don’t comply, they’ll be fined. (Which they deserve.)

Have you told them yet?

OP it sounds like you've done nothing to fix this situation. Grow a spine. We are counting on you.

PIGS! VILE PIGS!

Sounds like a British problem.

OP needs to get up off his arse and turn off the telly and get in his lorry and go tell the neighbours to move their bloody trash.

[quote] get in his lorry

Wut? He has never said that he drives a fucking lorry. Are you confusing lorry with something else?

r84 Whoosh

R85 Also, we call it 'rubbish', not 'trash'.

This is what you do… ask them politely to put their garbage into the trash cans.

Fucking hate trashy neighbors!

It’s entirely possible that they’re just oblivious to the fact that they’re inconveniencing others, I’d try bringing it up to them in a reasonable and calm way first.

Fuck them!!!

any update? what's happening?