Eldergays, who is the closeted gay you felt the most affinity toward

I couldn’t get enough of Paul Lynde as Uncle Arthur when I was a little boy.

Johnny Mathis. Beautiful.

There were two for me, one gay man and one lesbian.

James Dean- Always felt drawn to him and was ashamed of feeling that draw. Then I found out why.

Karen Carpenter- In my late teens, I began battling against my controlling and manipulative (not to mention emotionally unstable) family. Lots of shouting, smirking, and being told who I was, what I did, and what I was thinking, all of it wrong. They did not know who I really was and really did not like I was breaking away and being my own person. In my family, children have no rights and no reason to exist beyond taking care of the parents as they age. Once the parents are dead, the children must fend for themselves, never having a life of their own. Children are owned, like slaves. All the while, they must also endure emotional and verbal abuse. I already loved the Carpenters' music, but reading about Karen and what her mother put her through, I really felt a bond with her and an understanding of her actions. I also began to suspect she was a lesbian, years before I even came here to DL.

It was bittersweet irony to see Dick Sargent of Bewitched playing the straight guy surrounded by queer-coded characters. I choose him.

George Michael. Even though I couldn't articulate it at the time, I recognized that particular melancholy in many of his songs.

AC before he came out.

I was going to say George as well, r5. Like op and George, I will be 60 this year and can totally relate to being in the closet and coming out so late. George was chunky when younger -not the beautiful flower of a man he grew to be, so he had a lot ot of baggage to deal with navigating the gay world in our generation. His first -and probably only 😩-great love died early of aids and he was famous before he got his training wheels in how to be gay man. Anyway, I think about him often and can't believe he's been gone nearly 8 years...

Also, actor David Manners-who always read 'gay ' to me in his movies and in photographs -had to give up his screen career relatively early, but worked bts and was instrumental in bringing the world Marlon Brando when he was cast in the Broadway play Truckline Cafe. He later became an author and lived for more than half a century with his partner and died at age 98. Not so tragic but still could have had a much bigger career.

Affinity? No one was out for me to even compare myself.

As a unaware gayling, I felt sorry for Jim Nabors and Rock Hudson because of the Hawaii wedding rumor that many people snarked about. Also, Rod Stewart, not gay, but subject of the urban legend, swallowed a whole basketball team's come. And a bunch of them were black! Both were obvious rumors that people gossiped about. Weird.

My first gay hero was Martina, she came out when Elton John was "Bi" and Barry Manilow was too busy touring to settle down with the right girl.

Roddy McDowall.

Paul Lynde really wasnt closeted. He made a slew of gay jokes on Hollywood Squares and everyone knew he was gay.

Luther Vandross. The fear that his entire career would end if his sexuality were known -- and that he never found a love that was worth risking everything. That tragedy coupled with the fact that 70% of his female audience KNEW he was gay.

r11, Not exactly, or, it's not how I remember it. It's easy to see it now because there is a general understanding of homosexuality both scientifically and socially. Back then, to say he was queer was to call him a criminal. Women believed Liberace was straight for the same reason, IMO. Unless you lived it, it seems inconceivable but it's true.

I think Paul was just considered a clown. Polite people didn't discuss who was queer and it was a huge insult to call someone a fag. Also, when I went checked all the reference/medical books on homosexuality, every description was totally negative. Deviant, perverse, alcoholism, suicide, reprobate, not a single one said "and many are well-adjusted with impecable taste"

Even today - Nine states' statutes purport to ban all forms of sodomy, some including oral intercourse, regardless of the participants' genders: Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, Oklahoma and South Carolina. Three states specifically target their statutes at same-sex relations only: Kansas, Kentucky, and Texas.

r13 My grandmother knew he was gay and it didnt bother her at all. She loved him.

^That's sweet and I have no doubt that it was her personal opinion but she didn't talk to her friends about how much she loved Paul Lynde an that she was supportive of his alternative lifestyle. It just wasn't talked about. And again, when anyone says "I knew", they are looking back in time. It was a mortal sin,an embarassment to any family and no one was waving pride flags.

1973, I was 12, my parents were in the medical field. I had access to text books, it wasn't good. I went to two renowned psychiatrists, the first told me it was a phase and the second told me I was in denial of my heterosexuality. At least, they weren't religious freaks. I thought I couldn't be queer because I had no interest in hair, make-up, or decorating and I could barely dress myself.

[quote] Johnny Mathis. Beautiful.

I remember Johnny Mathis coming out in US Magazine in the early '80s.

I bought that issue for Stevie Nicks, r16, and was secretly happy to see that coming out.

For me it was Tony Perkins.

I had a huge crush on Anderson when he was on World News Now. I didn't know he was gay until I started reading about him here

Mine was Tab Hunter.

Tim Tebow, poor guy. An example of what harm extreme religiosity can do.

I have to pretty much agree with R15. I bought my mother tickets to see Paul Lynde a thousand years ago in Massachusetts.* I had no real idea he was gay. Maybe I knew on some level I wasn't quite conscious of. I was a young teen and thought I was very grown up getting my mother tickets to a comedian. I'm sure that she knew Lynde was gay and of course she never said anything about it.

The first celebrity Gay I ever knew about was Truman Capote, quickly followed by Gore Vidal. My heroes.

The first celebrity closeted Gay I ever caught on to myself and felt some kind of bond or whatever with was Montgomery Clift. (He was so beautiful and so tortured, I was emo before emo existed.)

The first "real life" closeted gay man I ever knew about was a friend of my mother's. A local high school teacher in our little New England town. Flamingly flamboyant and no one ever said a thing, it was just not okay to talk about it. My mother always had gay friends which made it so much easier later. Back in the day, no matter how "cool" your mom was with it, it was not discussed with us or around us or even much among themselves.

*I always forget about those bullshit "sodomy" laws still on the books in Massachusetts and I'm always so disappointed whenever I'm reminded of it. It's the one real surprise on that list.

........

Morrissey, (way) back in the day.

Circa 1974, the family saw Rich Little perform. Afterwards, when we got to meet him, my 19-year old sister asked him if Paul Lynde was gay. My 17-year old self silently cringed. Rich avoided the question.

James Buchanan.