Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Being Bi

Being biisexual seems so normal and natural. I find it surprising and a little odd that people commit to being with only one sex when they can enjoy both equally. Is that strange? I don't think so.

by Anonymousreply 115September 20, 2023 1:14 AM

Except a lot of people DON'T enjoy both sexes.

Believe it or not, some people are totally straight or totally gay

by Anonymousreply 1September 17, 2023 2:09 AM

Good for you, op. I honestly think it should be nice. But i am totally gay, lady parts don’t do anything for me.

I also fear i would be overwhelmed by choice, but maybe the mindset is di.

by Anonymousreply 2September 17, 2023 2:13 AM


by Anonymousreply 3September 17, 2023 2:14 AM

It has all ended in tears for me,

Lydia Tar.

by Anonymousreply 4September 17, 2023 2:15 AM

What R1 said. Gay male here. I am not attracted to females in any way, shape or form OP.

I once kissed a girl when I was 14 and that was the first and last time I ever touched a female.

by Anonymousreply 5September 17, 2023 2:18 AM

OP is giving me bone.

by Anonymousreply 6September 17, 2023 2:19 AM

OP, one “commits” to a partner, not to a sexual orientation. There’s a huge variety of options and attractions and experiences, some of which I’ve tried and others I’ve rejected, but all within the realm of being gay, same-sex oriented. Perhaps if I were bisexual, somewhere lower on the Kinsey spectrum, or had even a passing interest in women, my sexual history might have included females.

But I’ve always been gay, never attracted or interested in women. People like me do exist, and it took a long to feel good about ourselves while heterosexuality and heteronormativity has been pushed onto us since birth. If your attractions include men and women, fine. Yet you seem to have difficulty gay people. You find it odd. Do you not see the irony? Heterosexuals find YOU odd. They’ll legislate your rights away along with ours.

by Anonymousreply 7September 17, 2023 2:36 AM

Yeah I gotta echo R1 and R2 here. I'm a simple man, I love cock, and men, the laydeez hold no attraction for me.

I'd find being bi confusing, all that choice, who am I, what am I?. Being either 100% gay or 100% straight makes life a hell of a lot simpler. I went through a three week "bisexual phase" at 18, came all the way out as gay and havent looked back once since then, aint had the time or inclination

by Anonymousreply 8September 17, 2023 2:51 AM

Maybe it has something to do with art. I enjoy the human form, both male and female. I prefer sculpting females to males, but I love both bodies.

by Anonymousreply 9September 17, 2023 2:56 AM

I’ve been attracted to both sexes but only form deep emotional attachments with men so I consider myself gay.

by Anonymousreply 10September 17, 2023 3:02 AM

Sexuality is a spectrum. It’s not easily categorized into a boxes. Many bisexuals marry the opposite sex because it’s socially expected. Culture plays a large role in human behavior. Take Ancient Greece where bisexuality was accepted as a part of life. Many men had sex with each other without much shame however marriage was heterosexual because procreation was important. But male romance was fine outside of marriage

by Anonymousreply 11September 17, 2023 3:06 AM

I have never known of a man who was genuinely bisexual. Women who were bisexual, yes, but not men.

by Anonymousreply 12September 17, 2023 3:06 AM

R12, please feel free to fuck who you want.

The same way we gay people do, you disgusting troll.

by Anonymousreply 13September 17, 2023 3:08 AM

Most bisexual men are closeted, live a hetero public life and associate mainly with fellow str8 men. It’s easier to have NSA with other closeted dudes.

by Anonymousreply 14September 17, 2023 3:09 AM

R12 I have met genuine bisexuals. Even had a relationship with one for a few years. That there is how I know my life is a whole lot simpler being 100% gay

by Anonymousreply 15September 17, 2023 3:17 AM

Anyone can suck my dick, honestly

by Anonymousreply 16September 17, 2023 3:20 AM

R14 you tried

by Anonymousreply 17September 17, 2023 3:21 AM

R15. I’ve never known of a man who had lifelong attraction to both sexes. I have known men who had relationships with both sexes out of curiosity or in response to social pressure. I even struggle to think of any famous man who was truly bisexual.

Were your partner’s relationship with the opposite sex the result of sexual attraction?

by Anonymousreply 18September 17, 2023 3:23 AM

R8 tl;dr

by Anonymousreply 19September 17, 2023 3:23 AM

R18 Yes, he was genuinely attracted to both men and women. He been with both over his life. I couldnt live like that myself, but then I aint bi

by Anonymousreply 20September 17, 2023 3:26 AM

In the 1970s, the pervasive philosophy was “we’re all basically bi”, which was meant to be comforting (I think it was a ditty from the influential television special Free to be You and Me), but I was gay, gay, gay.

by Anonymousreply 21September 17, 2023 3:35 AM

We are not earthworms, OP.

by Anonymousreply 22September 17, 2023 3:46 AM

I think we can all agree that bisexual people are annoying, but in fairness, we should also acknowledge they exist.

There are way too many gays (and straights) who insist bisexual people don’t exist merely because they can’t imagine being bi. And there have always been gay people who claim bisexuality as a soft landing — thinking their friends and family will accept them more readily if they’re bi vs. gay, which is pretty much never true.

But as strange as it may seem to many of us, there really are bisexuals.

by Anonymousreply 23September 17, 2023 3:49 AM

A lot of people’s attractions are set at an early age. Many straight people, gay people and bisexual people all said they knew what they liked when they were little. No one really knows what causes sexual orientation but it’s fair to say it’s a mix of genetic and environmental factors. Women appear more bisexual because there’s more social tolerance for it and also women tend to be in the middle more while men are on the extreme more so. A lot of bisexual men likely either prefer men or women with nothing balanced. While women are more balanced bisexuals

by Anonymousreply 24September 17, 2023 3:50 AM

R23 who are some prominent men of the past or present you consider to be genuinely bisexual?

by Anonymousreply 25September 17, 2023 3:51 AM

All men who have sex with men are bisexual. They may claim straight but no straight man has sex with men persistently. And no gay man has sex with women persistently. Most bi men mostly identify by romantic orientation, so majority will either claim straight or gay. Many gay leaning bisexuals still marry women out of social pressure.

David Bowie, Joe Dallessandro, Farley Granger, Marlon Brando, Mick Jagger, James Dean. JFK, Lou Reed, Richard Pryor and Helmut Berger are some famous bisexual men

by Anonymousreply 26September 17, 2023 3:59 AM

* All “straight men” who have sex with men

by Anonymousreply 27September 17, 2023 4:00 AM

Many male porn stars are bisexual too

by Anonymousreply 28September 17, 2023 4:01 AM

My theory is that a huge chunk of so-called "straight men" are actually bi, but society won't allow them to explore that side. I don't think, however, many gay men are bi-inclined.

by Anonymousreply 29September 17, 2023 4:04 AM

Bisexual men cannot be trusted.

by Anonymousreply 30September 17, 2023 4:05 AM

R29 yep most bisexual men are not claiming to be gay. Though if in a same sex partnership may have a partner who is gay. I do see bisexual women claim to be gay tho

by Anonymousreply 31September 17, 2023 4:07 AM

[quote] [R29] yep most bisexual men are not claiming to be gay.

Exactly. They're hiding behind straight privilege.

There is a reason cruising areas and Grindr hookups exist all over the country, in even the smallest towns, and it's married "straight" men using these facilities.

by Anonymousreply 32September 17, 2023 4:12 AM

Yes, vagina is disgusting

by Anonymousreply 33September 17, 2023 4:13 AM

I find the hatred of bisexuals odd. I think many bisexual men are clear about not wanting setup relationships with gay men. Gay men who willingly sleep with DL bi men are no better than that bi man who is cheating on his wife with a gay man. Maybe if they don’t know it’s excusable but I find most DL men do in fact admit they have wives. Regardless gay men and bi men fuck all the time. Bi men will escort fir gay men or make porn for a gay audience.

by Anonymousreply 34September 17, 2023 4:20 AM

[quote] Maybe if they don’t know it’s excusable but I find most DL men do in fact admit they have wives.

Their wedding bands are usually a dead give-away.

by Anonymousreply 35September 17, 2023 4:23 AM

It’s also hilarious how some gays on here insist certain men in gay porn are gay4pay as if straight men would risk their entire social lives in order to do to gay porn (not jack off vids but actual sex) to make money. The male porn stars who have girlfriends and wives or do both gay and straight porn are bisexual. Many escort for men and women.

by Anonymousreply 36September 17, 2023 4:36 AM

I'm a lesbian and the thought of a penis and a man cumming repulses me.

It would be nice to be bi. More rides at the carnival!

by Anonymousreply 37September 17, 2023 4:46 AM

R37 I’m a lesbian and your post made me question my sexuality. I’m attracted to women but not women who are repulsed by men enjoying sex. What is wrong with you?

by Anonymousreply 38September 17, 2023 5:00 AM

Ewww pussy is gross.

I would never .

by Anonymousreply 39September 17, 2023 5:03 AM

R37 you're in the wrong place, sweetie.

L Chat is that way.

by Anonymousreply 40September 17, 2023 5:04 AM


by Anonymousreply 41September 17, 2023 5:32 AM

Make those cocks shoot and those pussies squirt. Do what you love, love what you do.

by Anonymousreply 42September 17, 2023 5:38 AM

R37 is probably wishing she were back on TikTok

by Anonymousreply 43September 17, 2023 6:41 AM

Datalounge- I have an announcement to make-

I am coming out as a GAYSEXUAL

by Anonymousreply 44September 17, 2023 7:01 AM

OP, I don't enjoy both sexes equally because I'm only attracted to one sex, not both. There's nothing enjoyable about having sex with a someone you're not attracted to. In fact, it's gross.

by Anonymousreply 45September 17, 2023 7:08 AM

You do you, OP. No one cares. Or should care.

by Anonymousreply 46September 17, 2023 10:19 AM

Humans are sexual. That’s all the really is to it.

by Anonymousreply 47September 17, 2023 10:20 AM

R38, What's wrong with you?? R37 said she was repulsed by penises and men cumming. So am I. That's why I'm also a lesbian. What's wrong with saying that? How does that make you question your sexuality? You're such an idiot. If a gay man says he is repulsed by vaginas, is that a problem for you?

by Anonymousreply 48September 17, 2023 10:59 AM

For those who say bisexual men never hide behind the gay identity, well Ricky Martin, Elton John and George Michael just to name a few all admitted to being attracted to women even though they identify as gay. I've also met many gay-identified men in my life who sometimes enjoyed sleeping with women but they only fell in love with men so they considered themselves gay.

by Anonymousreply 49September 17, 2023 11:02 AM

There are 1000000s of men out there today who want pussy, they dream of pussy, they want to marry pussy, they love pussy. And these same men will have sex at glory holes, the baths, the parks, the truck stops.

Let’s face it that kind of quick exciting sex is so very easy and you normally don’t have to pay for it.

No they are not just gay men in the closet waiting for the right man they are sex addicts. Is anyone with dozens many dozens of different partners a year a sex addict?

What’s in a name?

by Anonymousreply 50September 17, 2023 11:16 AM

R50 Why do many gay men reduce a human to its genitalia? "I'm looking for cock" "I don't date pussy"

All you see in others are cocks and pussies?

by Anonymousreply 51September 17, 2023 11:33 AM


Because they are sex addicts that is why. They are not looking for love or a relationship or any kissing they are looking for quick easy sex that does not cost money.

Sex addicts , and like anyone who has high risk sex and lots of it , a walking soon to be std Dx.

by Anonymousreply 52September 17, 2023 11:41 AM

I'm a lesbian because I love pussy and women, r48. I have no sexual interest in men at all, but women are what define my sexuality, not men.

by Anonymousreply 53September 17, 2023 12:30 PM

If you know the straight swinger world you would know that a woman who will not go down on another woman during a night of sex is rare indeed.

It’s sex. It’s not a life time commitment. There is no reason to have to decide what label you give it.

by Anonymousreply 54September 17, 2023 12:41 PM

Sleep with who you want if they're willing. Why the hell do I care who you sleep with? How weird. What sense does it make for me to be "mad" that you sleep with both men and women.

by Anonymousreply 55September 17, 2023 12:56 PM

R53, Attraction to women and a lack of attraction to men are what define your sexuality. So both women and men define your sexuality.

by Anonymousreply 56September 17, 2023 1:45 PM

Men don't even figure in my consciousness, r56.

by Anonymousreply 57September 17, 2023 2:03 PM


And yet you spend your time on a mostly all male forum.

by Anonymousreply 58September 17, 2023 2:06 PM

I'd 100% have a 3 way with a woman involved. I wouldn't have one-on-one sex with a woman, but a woman/man/me - sure. I think I'd lick her boobs, and probably clit while the guy was inside her. I've never done it, but if the opportunity presented itself, sure. However, I never actually fantasize about women, or think sexual things when I see them out like I do with men. Call me gay, call me bisexual, call me a perv, just call me. Actually don't call me, please just text me.

by Anonymousreply 59September 17, 2023 2:21 PM

Oh, I'm r59 and I'm a man in case that wasn't clear.

by Anonymousreply 60September 17, 2023 2:22 PM


And if you do that 3 way and do decide to fuck that wet pussy while hubby watches you will find it an enjoyable experience.

Maybe not one you will want to do again but you will have nice fond memories of that really hot wet pussy.

by Anonymousreply 61September 17, 2023 2:27 PM

R57, and yet a post made by R37 made you question your sexuality. Didn't take much to swing the other side didn't it?

by Anonymousreply 62September 17, 2023 2:42 PM

The OP is fucking troll. Why does DL fall for this Bi Troll shit? This person at Reddit doing the same shit. Stop this feeding this anti-gay bs

by Anonymousreply 63September 17, 2023 3:52 PM

R60 and your clearly bisexual, not gay. Just don't refer to yourself as gay and we'll be fine. Bye

R61, you're the vagina troll. Probably Postman posting under a new account. You're an antigay, gay2straight fetishist fuck you!

by Anonymousreply 64September 17, 2023 4:00 PM

R61, you fucking bi cunt, take your homophobic conversion therapy smut elsewhere. FUCK OFF TROLL!

by Anonymousreply 65September 17, 2023 4:04 PM

Yeah, his/her mention of the phrase 'wet pussy' is not receiving the warm welcome reaction he/she was hoping for.

by Anonymousreply 66September 17, 2023 4:22 PM

R66, exactly that poster is just a gay2straight conversion therapy troll.

by Anonymousreply 67September 17, 2023 4:32 PM

The majority of the bisexual people I have met are not equally attracted to both sexes over time. They go from one to the other and eventually land on one side.

by Anonymousreply 68September 17, 2023 4:39 PM

Look if someone is open to a 3 some with a guy and a girl it’s pretty clear to me he is not the type to be afraid of a woman or her body. If so he would not be in that 3some. And pussy, anal, mouth it usually all feels good.

You would not lose your gay card just because while in a 3 some you wanted to stick your dick into her to see what the fuss was all about. It’s warm and wet for those wondering.

I do realize there are some men terrified of the vagina or some other man’s dick. This obviously does not apply to them,

by Anonymousreply 69September 17, 2023 4:52 PM

OP We don't care what you think.

by Anonymousreply 70September 17, 2023 4:54 PM

There's a lot of these gay men masquerading as "bisexuals" in LA. They fuck and date only men but call themselves bi because they get drunk and play with their fag hag's tits at the bar.

by Anonymousreply 71September 17, 2023 5:14 PM

Such anger. I don't understand why many are defensive over something like this. To those that are really horrified over the idea of what comprises a lady hole but you're not horrified over a guy hole that actual shit and diarrhea comes out of? You stick your tongue in there? Really? Just tossing some salad for thought here.

by Anonymousreply 72September 17, 2023 8:23 PM

I'm r37. I should explain something. After 26 years of watching men cum over and over on a daily basis, I can honestly say it STILL repulses me just like gay men aren't into pussy. I know I'm a lesbian because I love and am attracted to women. I don't hate men at all. I just don't ever want to fuck one and I cannot relate to men at all on an emotional level.

by Anonymousreply 73September 17, 2023 9:41 PM

Sorry, r58, I'll rephrase that. Men don't even figure into my consciousness as sexual beings, more specifically as beings that I could be sexual with.

Lol r62, I didn't question my sexuality for a second and certainly not in response to r37's nonsense about rides at the carnival.

by Anonymousreply 74September 17, 2023 10:06 PM


As far as sexuality most men gay or straight on an island with only sheep would be sheep fuckers in no time. Some quicker than others. Assuming they could not teach the sheep to top.

by Anonymousreply 75September 17, 2023 10:14 PM

Seems like this discussion happens on DL regularly. I've shared that 1) I consider myself gay, not bi and 2) I have had sex with women, I really enjoyed eating pussy the few times I did it.

I think in another century, another culture.. I would have been more "flexible" in my sexual identity: it seems so assumed now that a "bi guy" is really a "gay guy lying".... so I went with that. Yeah, I like ass, and dick, and a handsome, beautiful young man... a lot.

Sexual desire is fluid for some people. Or also: people have crossed-wires sometimes. For example, my favorite kink is finding a younger "straight" guy who will let me turn him into a sissy - panties, stockings, etc. Treating the hole like a pussy, calling it a pussy etc. Some guys are offended, annoyed and resistant to that. Some guys turn into women quite easily.

by Anonymousreply 76September 17, 2023 10:46 PM

R51, why do straight men refer to women as "pussy"

Why do they say things like "I grab them by the pussy"

by Anonymousreply 77September 17, 2023 10:48 PM

R49, when was the last time Elton or Ricky slept with a woman? 1988?

by Anonymousreply 78September 17, 2023 10:50 PM

"More rides at the Carnival" is an old joke from Ellen D. Sorry you seem to not have a sense of humor, r74

by Anonymousreply 79September 17, 2023 10:56 PM

This thread is retarded but I’ll weigh in - I have very much taken the red pill with regard to bisexuality in recent years and strongly believe that most people are bi. Once you get into the habit of being alert for telltale signs, you notice closet bis constantly. It’s no surprise that most teens (in liberal places) are now identifying as bi. It’s not a phase, grandpa.

by Anonymousreply 80September 17, 2023 11:19 PM

Yes R80, exactly!

by Anonymousreply 81September 18, 2023 12:56 AM

You’re all sex addicts.

by Anonymousreply 82September 18, 2023 1:29 AM

A lot of misconceptions on bisexual men too. Many bi men are actually very masculine. There were studies that showed most people can identify gay and straight men by voice, facial features and other mannerisms. But nobody can place bisexual men. And bisexual men ranked the most masculine in vocal patterns.

Another thing is many people assume bisexual men want to fuck other guys in the ass or only get sucked off. Or that bi men only like fems/trans. Not true most bi men love masculine men. Many bi men also love twinky fems and trans but only with big dicks to get fucked or to swallow their loads. Many bi men are bottoms that love to have their holes destroyed and love to suck dick.

by Anonymousreply 83September 18, 2023 1:38 AM

r64 You seem kind of "special." I hope you'll take some classes and continue some sort of education.

by Anonymousreply 84September 18, 2023 1:40 AM

R69, actually you wouid. It's not about fear it's about revulsion. It's repulsive to think about. If you are receptive and actually have sex with men and women you are bisexual period. You are not a gay man so fuck off. I think it's bullshit that you a supposed gay men like to shame other gay men who obvious have no desire to be anywhere near a vagina. Why the fuck do you do that? It's the same bullshit gays have always had to endure from straight people. You're trying to be the lawyer for straight women/vagina and it's a bunch of bullshit. Men like you are not gay, You're a fucking idiot and a homophobe who lives to gay bash. You an overbearing bisexual cunt, mocking gay men because we don't like vagina. Gay men don't get any pleasure from eating women out, you fucking bisexual men do.

by Anonymousreply 85September 18, 2023 2:12 AM

R84, BBy classes you mena conversion threapy right? You're another bisexual cunt trying to shame gay men. You have nothing useful to contribute. And this whole fucking thread is the umpteenth troll gay2straight fetishist thread trying to shove vagina on the gay men of Datalounge.

by Anonymousreply 86September 18, 2023 2:17 AM

^^^^By classes you mean conversion therapy right?

by Anonymousreply 87September 18, 2023 2:21 AM

R72 - I guarantee you are a TRA homophobe who bashes gay men. You don't sound remotely like a gay man. You are literally typing right wing talking points.

by Anonymousreply 88September 18, 2023 2:23 AM

r86 You are mixing up several posters. I've never once said a word about conversion therapy. I have no clue where you are getting that. I hope your day gets better.

by Anonymousreply 89September 18, 2023 2:24 AM

Bisexuals are untrustworthy

by Anonymousreply 90September 18, 2023 2:24 AM

"To those that are really horrified over the idea of what comprises a lady hole but you're not horrified over a guy hole that actual shit and diarrhea comes out of? You stick your tongue in there? Really? Just tossing some salad for thought here."

That is a right wing talking point, totally homophobic and condescending. You're an gay-repressive asshole.

by Anonymousreply 91September 18, 2023 2:29 AM

"You would not lose your gay card just because while in a 3 some you wanted to stick your dick into her to see what the fuss was all about. It’s warm and wet for those wondering."

You motherfucking bisexual vagina troll. You need to stop typing that bullshit on a gay forum. It's clear that you are not a gay man.

by Anonymousreply 92September 18, 2023 2:31 AM

R89, you mentioned education. You want gay men to be educated on vagina, you're sick! Please take bisexual cuntitude off this forum.

by Anonymousreply 93September 18, 2023 2:32 AM

r93 Wrong person again

by Anonymousreply 94September 18, 2023 2:35 AM

R84 mentions classes and education. It's all there in the post.

by Anonymousreply 95September 18, 2023 2:40 AM

"It’s warm and wet for those wondering."

"I do realize there are some men terrified of the vagina"

These are right wing talking points straight out of a conversion therapy camp. You hate to see this is what purportedly gay men have come to in 2023.

by Anonymousreply 96September 18, 2023 2:43 AM

r95 Oh goodness, bless your heart.

by Anonymousreply 97September 18, 2023 2:44 AM

These threads always go downhill. I just think people overthink it. Sexual orientation is intuitive for most. Nobody is forcing gays or straights to be bisexual except a maybe vocal minority of crazies. But who encounters those people except the people who seek them out?

by Anonymousreply 98September 18, 2023 2:45 AM

So bisexuality is "normal and natural" but homosexuality and heterosexuality aren't?

by Anonymousreply 99September 18, 2023 2:47 AM


by Anonymousreply 100September 18, 2023 2:49 AM

"It’s no surprise that most teens (in liberal places) are now identifying as bi."

They're not. Especially boys (like three times as many females as males identify as bisexual)

by Anonymousreply 101September 18, 2023 2:50 AM

There's not much in it for a man to be publicly bisexual especially if they prefer the opposite sex for romantic purposes. A lot of openly bisexual men in history were often tied to gay men or the gay scene.

by Anonymousreply 102September 18, 2023 2:58 AM

r100, that's exactly wht's happening. Supposed gay men are typing that "gay men are afraid of vagina" that's absolutely someone castigating gay men for following their natural orientation.

by Anonymousreply 103September 18, 2023 3:01 AM

R97, at this point you're just trolling, bless your mama's heart.

by Anonymousreply 104September 18, 2023 3:03 AM


Afraid may be the wrong word. Repulsed?

There are men greatly tuned off by a vagina and would never touch one willingly. There are other men repulsed at the thought of another man’s cock or ass. Both groups of men have more in common than they think, That is not a knock on anyone more an observation.

And no man should feel the need to try something they have no desire to do.

Woman straight woman at least on the other hand seem to be more open and less traumatized by going down on another woman,

by Anonymousreply 105September 18, 2023 8:40 AM

Sorry r79, the Ellen show was on in which decade?

by Anonymousreply 106September 18, 2023 9:36 AM

R78, How do you know they don't occasionally sleep with women? Nobody would have to know. And even if they don't anymore, they still admitted that they once were attracted to women. Elton said he was attracted to Nicole Kidman (this was in 2001 I think) and Julia Roberts. Ricky had an 11 year relationship with a woman before coming out and said he was very sexually attracted to her.

by Anonymousreply 107September 18, 2023 10:59 AM

R107 You make a good point. David Bowie was openly bisexual when young but as he aged settled with women and was devoted to Iman. People tried to argue he was really straight and pretending to be bisexual to be edgy in the 70s which I don’t buy. Farley Granger said he was attracted to Shelly Winters and wanted to marry her. He was never a huge star to warrant lying about his sexuality like that and his autobiography was for a niche audience. He consistently said he was bisexual but fell deeply in love with a man who pretty much became his husband for decades to his death (he admitted he would have married him that option was available when they were younger). I find many bi men have a stronger preference for one sex over the other and it’s never balanced at a time though it may fluctuate. Who they partner with does not deny their bisexuality.

It is true that many gay men come out as bi or queer to test the waters but usually someone who is grown and openly carried on with the same sex would not be likely to lie and claim bisexual

by Anonymousreply 108September 18, 2023 8:11 PM

R108, I believe that when someone comes out as bisexual and then later on as gay or straight, they are still bisexual but feel that it is easier to identify as gay or straight. When Ricky first came out as bisexual, nobody cared. As soon as he came out as gay, he was on Oprah. The bisexual identity bothers a lot of people just like saying you're biracial. Obama would have never been elected as a biracial man, only as a black man even though technically, he was biracial. People like very specific categories, it makes them feel better and more secure. All the people I have known who once identified as bisexual but now identify as gay or straight, still remain attracted to both genders. They might prefer one over the other, but their bisexual attractions never go away.

by Anonymousreply 109September 18, 2023 8:38 PM

R109 Obama was called black because in America, there was never a category for mixed race individuals historically speaking. He would not have to call himself black in any other society on earth. If he was in Africa, it be the opposite and he’d be considered white in fact. I do agree in terms of cultural identity that since Obama is not African American (his father is Kenyan) by ethnicity and was raised by his white family at that, it’s questionable that he would be grouped with light skinned African Americans who are mixed from slavery or were biracial but also grouped as black due to segregation.

by Anonymousreply 110September 18, 2023 9:17 PM

R109 Also I agree that many black people even foreign ones who are not African American did claim Obama as black despite not classifying anyone else with his parentage as black in their native countries. Coloured or half caste people (not PC terms but that’s what African countries called multiracials) are not looked upon favorably in Africa (due to their alliance with white colonialism) but Obama was an exception as the President of The US. Not to get off topic but I can see the parallels here. Gay men and lesbians do try to claim famous bisexuals as gay or lesbian but are resentful and condescending the actual bisexuals they may know

by Anonymousreply 111September 18, 2023 9:21 PM

"I believe that when someone comes out as bisexual and then later on as gay or straight, they are still bisexual but feel that it is easier to identify as gay or straight."

Not necessarily. I think saying you're bisexual at first is common in some gay people because of internalized homophobia or maybe just not knowing yourself very well. I'm one who originally said I was bi but once I started dating the same sex, there was no going back for me and I realized I was just trying to give myself an "out" from admitting I was 100% homosexual.

by Anonymousreply 112September 18, 2023 10:20 PM

I find that being gay means a lot more than who I want to sleep with. I felt like an alien growing up around all those str8 lads who all wanted new football kits for Xmas and loved The A Team. I feel Bi people, rather than having both camps to choose from, don't totally fit into either. My bi mate won't come into the drag bars or go with us to musicals..and doesn't have that inner intelligence(I believe, born out of survival and quickly having to read a room while growing up). I'm not saying all gay men like these things but that No Bi men seem to like these things. I'm glad I found my place...I was around a group of str8 people for 5 days recently and 2 str8 guys started to try bully me...I was really surprised.

by Anonymousreply 113September 18, 2023 10:29 PM

I'm not Bi but I have nothing against buying sex.

by Anonymousreply 114September 19, 2023 1:33 AM

Aren't most fur babies are Bi? My fur babe is.

by Anonymousreply 115September 20, 2023 1:14 AM
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.


Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!