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I Have Cancer

Just found out today. I've been waiting a couple of weeks for biopsy results -was told they'd call me either way but assumed no news was good news. I gave in and called the office this morning, to be told by an assistant that both came back positive, and that surgery would be scheduled as soon as the insurance approval came in. For now I'm in limbo. Fuck.

Sorry -just had to tell somebody what was going on. Couldn't tell anyone at work after the call, so you guys are the first to know. No one else to tell, really.

by Anonymousreply 149December 29, 2023 7:33 PM

OP - I'm sorry to hear that. I can't believe an ASSISTANT would be allowed to tell you that - that seems very unprofessional.

Do you mind sharing what kind of cancer?

by Anonymousreply 1September 15, 2023 5:55 AM

Sorry to hear that. What kind of cancer is it and what stage?

by Anonymousreply 2September 15, 2023 5:55 AM

I sorry you got this news, it must be a lot to deal with. That said, the idea you could just call in and get a cancer diagnosis from the "assistant" seems super weird. Where do you live?

by Anonymousreply 3September 15, 2023 5:59 AM

So sorry to hear that, OP. Sending love and best wishes.

by Anonymousreply 4September 15, 2023 6:21 AM

Take care OP. Hope the surgery is scheduled ASAP and it goes well.

by Anonymousreply 5September 15, 2023 6:27 AM

[quote]I can't believe an ASSISTANT would be allowed to tell you that - that seems very unprofessional

I’m guessing it’s not a Kaiser provider because the assistant actually called instead of sending a message through the app.

by Anonymousreply 6September 15, 2023 6:31 AM

Surely an MRI would be scheduled first? Either way best of luck bb that’s bad luck. Hope you get a good treatment plan and prognosis is good x.

by Anonymousreply 7September 15, 2023 6:32 AM

Rosie warned you not to lie.

by Anonymousreply 8September 15, 2023 6:35 AM


So sorry, OP.

by Anonymousreply 9September 15, 2023 7:06 AM

I've had prostate cancer for 23 years. I've been close to the "drain" a time or two. I was fortunate in receiving a nuclear series of treatments at UCLA. Now at 81 my cancer is coming back. I'm not worried, I've been very fortunate.

by Anonymousreply 10September 15, 2023 7:19 AM

Listen to your doctors at every turn. Praying for you, and the old line - catching it early, sounds like you are strong and will beat it.

by Anonymousreply 11September 15, 2023 7:45 AM

I had a guy who was not the actual doctor just blurt it out at me like that too. "You got cancer, I am on the other line, is there anything else?" FUCKERS! Anyways, I am alive, monitoring this, had to realize it's not going to kill me that day or that week. Take a breath and give yourself some time to figure out your next step. Acknowledge that you are in shock and probably sad. Don't focus on the idiots that just blurt that shit out, waste of time and you are not going to change anything by getting mad at them. People are not always thinking about other's feelings in those jobs because they get so jaded about saying the same thing to people day in and day out.

On another note, my brother-in-law had that nuclear prostate thing done. For him it seems to working like a charm. Still has his prostate. I think that was 5 years ago, he's still around no problems.

by Anonymousreply 12September 15, 2023 7:59 AM

Big hugs OP. We're here if you need to drop some comps safely that nobody else needs to know about.

by Anonymousreply 13September 15, 2023 8:13 AM

Full and perfect health - may that be your prognosis, OP. Keep positive thoughts and gratitude in all you do.

by Anonymousreply 14September 15, 2023 8:36 AM

You're going to be ok, OP. The treatments for cancer now are so much better than even 10 years ago. Even IF you have to have chemo, chemo isn't like it's portrayed in film. They have drugs now to help with nausea and the other effects.

You WILL survive this. I did.

by Anonymousreply 15September 15, 2023 8:56 AM

Sending you my well wishes.

by Anonymousreply 16September 15, 2023 9:01 AM

You got any good stuff?

by Anonymousreply 17September 15, 2023 9:01 AM

I just can't figure out why the medical profession has not yet learned that if you give someone a diagnosis that they are going to perceive as catastrophic (whether it really turns out to be or not) you have to provide support at the same time. You have to ask them whether they have someone at home they can lean on, and if not you have to book them in to see a psychologist or grief counsellor or something in the next few days. Why is that hard to understand? And why is it left up to individual doctors instead of there being State rulings about it and support for it?

by Anonymousreply 18September 15, 2023 9:30 AM

The care in the US is good. Choreography of care? Not good.

by Anonymousreply 19September 15, 2023 9:33 AM

[quote] Listen to your doctors at every turn.

Yes, but . . .

Yes, your doctors have years of education, experience, and knowledge to guide their decisions and recommendations about your care the best choices for your treatment. Their advice is based on that expertise and should be followed. Otherwise, what are they there for.

But, you are also your own best advocate in matters having to do with your health and your body. You know your body better than anyone else. You should carefully follow the advice of your physicians, but you should also feel free to question recommendations that somehow don’t seem right to you or for you. The practice of medicine is both an art and a science. It’s not a one-size-fits-all situation.

Hope that everything goes extremely well.

by Anonymousreply 20September 15, 2023 3:48 PM

Being molested is MUCH worse, OP.

by Anonymousreply 21September 15, 2023 4:02 PM

Lies - assistants can’t disclose that information.

by Anonymousreply 22September 15, 2023 4:13 PM

You should probably get MAID, bitch.

by Anonymousreply 23September 15, 2023 4:14 PM

My partner had to discover his diagnosis on the patient portal instead of from the doctor. Next time we saw him, I tore him a new one for his lack of compassion. AFTER we'd gotten a new doctor at MSK.

by Anonymousreply 24September 15, 2023 4:20 PM

^And I bet it went like this did.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 25September 15, 2023 4:22 PM

EST? OP has not reported back. I hope cancer is not being used for trolling.

by Anonymousreply 26September 15, 2023 4:24 PM

I wish you well, OP, and please do check in with any news.

by Anonymousreply 27September 15, 2023 5:14 PM

I’m sorry to hear that OP. Hopefully everything will work out for the best.

by Anonymousreply 28September 15, 2023 5:31 PM

Sorry to hear this, OP. Sending you strength and positive vibes.

by Anonymousreply 29September 15, 2023 5:34 PM

OP, I know this is shocking news but try to stay positive - medical science improves constantly. And hopefully, it was found early enough that you have an easy-ish time of it, both physically and emotionally. Sending good thoughts, strength, and positive energy to you.

by Anonymousreply 30September 15, 2023 6:16 PM

Can I have your stuff, OP?

by Anonymousreply 31September 15, 2023 6:20 PM


by Anonymousreply 32September 15, 2023 6:37 PM

I’m so sorry. Sending good vibes!

by Anonymousreply 33September 15, 2023 6:38 PM

R33 I’m so sorry to hear that. My best friend was just diagnosed as well. Don’t despair. Treatments are much better than they were. I’m sending you strength and healing thoughts. WTF giving you the dx over the phone? I’m glad you came here and shared. I know I care and so do others.

by Anonymousreply 34September 15, 2023 6:42 PM

I'm sorry. Best of luck to you on your treatment and hopeful recovery.

by Anonymousreply 35September 15, 2023 7:29 PM

[quote]Lies - assistants can’t disclose that information.

People break rules all the time dumb-ass. Telling you that's what happened in my case. It was a medical assistant type person. Most of then haven't had more than 2 years of college for that job.

by Anonymousreply 36September 15, 2023 10:11 PM

I feel you, OP. I'm so sorry and even though I don't know who you are you're like a little DL sibling and I wish I could give you a hug so you wouldn't feel so alone tonight. One day I may be in your place. So I send you an anonymous hug through here. I hope everything turns out alright and you're back in a few without the anxiety and the fear.

by Anonymousreply 37September 15, 2023 10:44 PM

The first time I found out I had cancer, I had just come out of a colonoscopy. My doctor came in, said they had found something suspicious and were going to biopsy it, and he would let me know the results. He left and I was waiting for my friend to pick me up, still coming out of the anesthesia, and the nurse handed me a copy of the report. I started reading it, came to a part where it said, in no uncertain terms, malignancy. I grabbed the nurse, said- the doctor said they needed to test it. Why does this say malignancy?

She said- we've done enough of these that we know what it looks like. Honestly, even I could see it from the photos, and I had no idea what I was looking at. And when my doctor called with the biopsy results later that week, of course there were no surprises.

OP, what type of cancer?

by Anonymousreply 38September 15, 2023 11:01 PM


by Anonymousreply 39September 16, 2023 2:45 AM

Hi! I'm Kelt!

by Anonymousreply 40September 16, 2023 2:45 AM

[quote] Listen to your doctors at every turn.

Fuck that! Do your OWN research! It’s how I treated my COVID with Ivermectin.

Sure I spent 8 weeks on a ventilator in ICU, but that probably would have been 10 had I not taken that horse de-wormer!

by Anonymousreply 41September 16, 2023 3:30 AM

OP here again. Tbank you (almost all) for the good wishes and concern. I really do appreciate them. I was so blown away by the news yesterday that I really was in shock. I still am, but at least today I'm coping better. I know that a cancer diagnosis isn't necessarily terminal, but when it happens to you it really is like a slap in the face. I honestly was expecting someone to tell me they didn't have the results yet, or that everything was negative and they'd simply forgotten to call.

For those who asked, it is cancer of the sinus cavity. I've never heard of that before. It is rare, but most commonly occurs in white men over 55. I'm 60 and they don't come any whiter. The survival rate is pretty good as cancers go, but I'm told I will need some facial reconstruction surgery afterward. I will likely do both radiation and chemo as well.

Sorry, R26, I didn't realize I was on a timeline for posting... I won't have anything new to report until I hear back from my insurance company that they have authorized the surgery. I hope that meets with your approval?

by Anonymousreply 42September 16, 2023 5:32 AM


by Anonymousreply 43September 16, 2023 5:38 AM

OP/R42, if I might make a suggestion about discussing this situation on here... Ignore the snark and don't take the bait. It doesn't do you any good and it just encourages others. If you keep responding, then it will keep happening. This is a thread for you to get support right now. I know the DL is Snark Central, but it's also a place that does offer a sympathetic ear and encouragement and support when we need it for something like this. We are here for you.

by Anonymousreply 44September 16, 2023 4:02 PM

OP will fail cisplatin and we will arrange its funeral

by Anonymousreply 45September 16, 2023 9:31 PM

OP, I'm so sorry about the diagnosis, the way that you found out, the abject lack of consideration and support your doctor has afforded you, and that some on here have trolled you.

I wish you all the best.

I know someone who has managed to stay alive decades after a grim bowel cancer diagnosis. He has taken part in trials for drugs treating his cancer and other types thanks to a helpful, open-minded doctor, and keeps close to some kind of naturopath who works to enhance his health without counteracting what his doctor prescribes.

You have a lot ahead of you, I just hope the medical staff treating you look after you better than they have so far.

by Anonymousreply 46September 16, 2023 10:37 PM

No OP is fake n doomed n I’m happy

by Anonymousreply 47September 16, 2023 10:40 PM

My neighbor got a call from some chick who said really fast “your test says you’ve got cancer” then hung up. My neighbor told me she never even tested for cancer,.

by Anonymousreply 48September 16, 2023 11:08 PM

[quote] cisplatin

what ARE you talking about?

[quote] No OP is fake n doomed n I’m happy

There's a grease fire SCREAMING for you. Find it and leap in.

by Anonymousreply 49September 16, 2023 11:28 PM

OP- All I can do is send you good thoughts. We all are all one, baby. And ultimately a speck of sand in the grand scheme. I wish you whole, happy, and free. I am 44 and what will I live, 20, 30 more years? It's a massive conveyer belt. I am with you. XOXOXO

by Anonymousreply 50September 16, 2023 11:30 PM

Cancer....that's hiLARious!

by Anonymousreply 51September 16, 2023 11:41 PM

OP/R42, you're going to be just fine.

As you noted, sinus cancer has a very high survival rate.

by Anonymousreply 52September 16, 2023 11:54 PM

OP again. My first surgery was this morning. The doctor told me he got all of the original cancer, but found a second, unrelated one while he was in there. They will go after that next week. Meanwhile I have a large hole in my face about the size of a silver dollar. The hope is that they will be able to get all of the second cancer and do some facial reconstruction at the same session. I totally feel like shit -too much in pain to even care about the second cancer. Meanwhile, I'm not allowed to lie down flat, and have to sleep sitting up. Does anyone know why that is????

by Anonymousreply 53October 5, 2023 2:21 AM

Hang in there, OP. You’ll do fine!

by Anonymousreply 54October 5, 2023 2:25 AM

Good luck, OP, and thanks for keeping us posted.

by Anonymousreply 55October 5, 2023 2:35 AM

Love to you OP. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Sending you hugs ❤️

by Anonymousreply 56October 5, 2023 3:15 AM

Stay strong, OP. It will get a little better every day.

by Anonymousreply 57October 5, 2023 3:21 AM

Brain mets

by Anonymousreply 58October 5, 2023 9:27 AM

OP if you’re not Defacto I’m very sorry to read this but also very helpful you’ll fight this and have many years ahead of you.

by Anonymousreply 59October 5, 2023 9:31 AM

[quote] Meanwhile, I'm not allowed to lie down flat, and have to sleep sitting up. Does anyone know why that is????

R53 Why are you asking us? You have a medical team.

by Anonymousreply 60October 5, 2023 11:06 AM


by Anonymousreply 61October 5, 2023 11:32 AM

My "medical team" sent me home groggy and out of it, with a single sheet of preprinted instructions, R60. I was in no condition to read them yesterday, and they aren't around to ask today. And FUCK YOU, Rosie. I've had a shitty night and feel like crap this morning. A couple of extra-strength Tylenol doesn't begin to do the job, and I'm not in the mood to banter with assholes. If you think this is all some sort of EST post, block it and go away.

by Anonymousreply 62October 5, 2023 3:34 PM

I don’t know if this is the case, but sometimes they pump you with CO2 to allow more space between the organs during exploratory and other surgeries. Lying down makes you very uncomfortable. I don’t know if that’s the case, hopefully you’re feeling a bit better.

by Anonymousreply 63October 5, 2023 4:07 PM

The elevation seems to be about reducing swelling OP.

Are you bald? If not are you vain about your hair? If so you can do a cold cap during chemo.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 64October 5, 2023 5:14 PM

Thank you, ElderLez -that's more information than my doctor gave me. I wondered why my lips were numb... I've been drowsing all morning. The nose dripping/draining is a huge annoyance, but better out than in. Nice to know it is normal/expected.

by Anonymousreply 65October 5, 2023 5:47 PM

Post-surgical instructions really need to be given in advance of the surgery, not when you are groggy and in pain. Glad the information was helpful to you.

by Anonymousreply 66October 5, 2023 5:55 PM


Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 67October 5, 2023 6:13 PM

You will die

by Anonymousreply 68October 5, 2023 6:19 PM

Fuck off R68!

by Anonymousreply 69October 5, 2023 6:38 PM

We are all going to die. Everyone now on DataLounge today will be dead in 100 years.

But OP isn’t likely to die of cancer in the next few months.

by Anonymousreply 70October 5, 2023 6:45 PM

So sorry, OP. Best wishes to you.

by Anonymousreply 71October 5, 2023 6:52 PM

Sending you hugs and best wishes, OP. Hope you're able to get a little rest.

by Anonymousreply 72October 5, 2023 6:56 PM

OP, I am sorry and I and many others here are thinking of you.

It's times like this that I have the rare wish that we could know where some of our fellow DLers are so we could help or "help".

by Anonymousreply 73October 5, 2023 7:00 PM

Many, many years ago my grandma was hit by a car. She fractured her hip and wound up with one leg 6” shorter than the other and its was very thin and frail looking. My aunt asked her surgeon, “Why is her leg like that? She had a fractured hip. I don’t understand why her hip wasn’t fixed and why her leg doesn’t look normal.”

“You have to understand,” said the dr, “Your mother is an old woman…”

My aunt cut him right off.

“From where I’m sitting it looks like you’re the same age as my mother, doctor. Would your leg look like that?”

by Anonymousreply 74October 5, 2023 7:55 PM

Sending love OP. Lots of deep breathing to expand those lungs.

by Anonymousreply 75October 5, 2023 8:59 PM

OP again. The doctor did the second surgery to remove the remaining cancer, and then the reconstruction surgery today. It's been a very long day and I feel like shit again. The good news is he is confident he got it all, and says he doesn't need to see me again until December. Gotta say it's amazing how he pulled the hole in my face together so well. It feels really weird, but the future scar doesn't look like it'll be nearly as bad as I had feared. I feel like I have dodged a bullet. Thank you for the hand-holding and support.

Looks like you won't get my stuff this time, R31, but thanks for asking. :)

by Anonymousreply 76October 12, 2023 1:26 AM

Happy for you OP ❤️ great news

by Anonymousreply 77October 12, 2023 1:29 AM

Yay! So happy for you OP!

by Anonymousreply 78October 12, 2023 1:53 AM

DUDE!!! That is fantastic news! Phew.

by Anonymousreply 79October 12, 2023 1:56 AM

I'm guessing sitting up for sleeping/healing would be partly about letting the sinuses drain down into whatever tubes you have, rather than going backward and potentially choking you.

by Anonymousreply 80October 12, 2023 6:59 AM

I'm very happy to read of your progress OP. Love to you....

by Anonymousreply 81October 12, 2023 9:11 AM

Glad the surgery went as expected, OP. Hopefully you will be pain free soon.

Overall, how would you rate your experience with the doctor and the staff? Were they supportive enough as you needed them to be?

by Anonymousreply 82October 12, 2023 12:49 PM

Thanks, R82. Generally, yes. The doctor is brusque, but he is highly skilled and he has demonstrated his support by doing several things that insurance hadn't authorized, but he felt were necessary. The staff is great -at least at the surgical office. He moves between an exam-based office and a surgical office. It was the latter that gave me the bad news over the phone...

Thank you again to all those who sent their good wishes my way. Normally I don't feel so alone in the world -but at times like these you really do appreciate knowing there's someone out there who cares.

by Anonymousreply 83October 12, 2023 2:16 PM

I have found that the brusque Dr.'s are the best ones. They have no time for nonsense and focus on and fix the problem.

by Anonymousreply 84October 12, 2023 2:24 PM

I'm so happy for you, OP! Now the healing begins. Know that we DL denizens will be sending good thoughts your way.

by Anonymousreply 85October 12, 2023 2:41 PM

[quote] I have found that the brusque Dr.'s are the best ones. They have no time for nonsense and focus on and fix the problem.

The thing though is that this approach doesn't work for all patients. A doctor should know or be trained on how to read the patient and adjust the approach. Some just want the facts where others need a bit more sugar coating. Everybody has different needs in terms of emotional support. What puts some at ease, aggravates others.

by Anonymousreply 86October 12, 2023 3:11 PM

They can't be everything and I would rather they be blunt and good at what they do even though it can come across as shocking. I have had it happen twice.

by Anonymousreply 87October 12, 2023 3:46 PM

My heart goes out to you....sending healing vibes and good energy.

Consider a second opinion.

Regardless, we are here to support you and help you build up the courage to successfully take this on!

by Anonymousreply 88October 12, 2023 4:25 PM

I don’t believe you OP. If you had cancer -the Dr would’ve contacted you with results. Libel otherwise.

by Anonymousreply 89October 12, 2023 4:27 PM

R89-Don't be a fucking idiot. My partner found out he had cancer from the patient portal. No doctor told him.

by Anonymousreply 90October 12, 2023 4:53 PM

[quote] Libel otherwise.

I don't see libel. And you cannot sue for being inconsiderate.

by Anonymousreply 91October 12, 2023 5:34 PM

OP/R42 I am glad the surgeries both went well and hoping this f*cking disease is gone from you for good. Stay strong... wishing you the best.

by Anonymousreply 92October 12, 2023 5:48 PM

R90 A portal is a Dr ‘s response. Hello? I can say both my parents as you say your partner. Infact R90 - read OP’s responses. It doesn’t add up. You woold know this as your partner had cancer. A patient doesn’t suddenly contact the Dr for response. Dr office : oh we forgot to let you know you have cancer. Oops. In fact they let you know when a cancer test result is available. It also doesn’t take a couple of weeks for results (oP’s words) it ‘s libel - malpractice - in OP’s words a few weeke went by & so I called them. Hello?

by Anonymousreply 93October 12, 2023 7:44 PM

You'd be surprised, R93.

by Anonymousreply 94October 12, 2023 7:56 PM

R94.This isn’t real & this isn’t how it works. Read OP’s posts. If you had cancer in your family then you know this isn’t real. Anyway. Cancer does suck. Feel free to believe a biopsy result takes weeks. Never.

by Anonymousreply 95October 12, 2023 8:33 PM

My biopsy took two agonizing weeks, R95.

It turned out that wasn't cancer but I remember it well because I was such a preoccupied basketcase waiting for the outcome during that time and I couldn't believe it was taking so long.

The biopsy result was all I could think about that entire time. I left my fucking wallet at the store (never happened before), and when I got a call that someone turned it in, I hurried off to pick it up and I left my stove on! I got halfway there when I remembered and I sped back home and turned it off.

I could have died from the distraction waiting for my results, like a Twilight Zone episode. It took weeks. Just because someone you loved got their results faster doesn't mean every fucking person in this country has had the same experience. Healthcare quality, speed, procedures run the gamut.

by Anonymousreply 96October 12, 2023 9:30 PM

Thanks, r94/r96.

It didn't happen to you and your family, so it never happens, is that right, r95?

Some of us have had different experiences, and even if we hadn't, I am personally ok with giving a stranger on the Internet the benefit of the doubt. If they turn out to be trolling, it hasn't harmed me, and might do someone some good.

I'm reminded of the Joe and Mark threads of last year. Joe was an authenticated DL-er of long standing. He developed cancer and told his story

All throughout were accusations that Joe was a troll who was making it all up. I never understood that. If it wasn't a true story, it was a sweet one, and many posters shared their own stories.

It didn't hurt anyone.

At a certain point, Joe began posting less and less, then his postings stopped. About a month later, his husband, Mark, came back under Joe's authenticated name to say that Joe had died.

Then he never posted again. Seems like a long game to play for just one trolling story.

by Anonymousreply 97October 12, 2023 9:34 PM

I have said this many times here recently-- we're all older now. There will be more and more threads about losing parents and devastating illnesses.

It's like some here expect DLers to entertain them all the time.

by Anonymousreply 98October 12, 2023 9:40 PM

[quote] If you had cancer in your family then you know this isn’t real. Feel free to believe a biopsy result takes weeks. Never.

The arrogance.

Image in link is taken from CANCER dot ORG.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 99October 12, 2023 10:28 PM

Turn to God in this hour of need. Cast all of your cares upon him.

by Anonymousreply 100October 12, 2023 11:31 PM

I’m sending lots of concern and well wishes in my post. Be well.

by Anonymousreply 101October 12, 2023 11:43 PM

R18, I love how you think—yes, the emotional and psychological aspects need to be addressed. They are essential.

by Anonymousreply 102October 13, 2023 12:15 AM

It's hard to know what to say at this point... R95 is so sure that I'm a troll and that this is all a lie. I don't know if there's anything I could say or do to convince him otherwise. Maybe I should send him my medical bills? Truth be told, I haven't received any (yet). R97 brought up Joe and Mark. I followed those threads from the beginning. There were moments when I wondered if it was all real, too. But in the end you have to make your own call. If you think I'm a liar and a fake, that's your right. But why stir up trouble by continuing to follow and post? I know I'm not making this up, so it doesn't hurt me. But it does set a hostile tone, turning this into a place where people have no faith in each other -no humanity. Sure, we all love the pointless bitchery. But actively sowing seeds of mistrust is very pointed bitchery.

I started this thread in a very low moment, looking for a shoulder or two to lean on and get some words of encouragement. And I got more than a few. It helped me get through that moment. Since then it's been up and down. I'm still waiting on that last biopsy result. One of the nurses suggested that the lab was understaffed. Could be -everything else around here is too at the moment. Or maybe because it's one of those more advanced genetic tests (to see if one cancer is metastasized from the other) it just takes longer. I don't know. I'd love to get immediate, good results but I have no control over any of it. Anyway, I didn't come here to argue with anyone or stir up trouble. Thank you again to all of you who have sent advice and/or good wishes. They have been appreciated. You really helped me at a time when I needed it.

by Anonymousreply 103October 13, 2023 2:57 AM

Your nay-sayers are not worthy of your attention, OP/r103. Someone like r95 might have a misguided sense of righteousness or justice, but most are trolls. You owe none of them any explanation or proof.

I mentioned Joe and Mark in r97. I had suspected I knew Joe in real life well over a year ago. There were so many commonalities. I think he was an occasional colleague and acquaintance of mine for over 20 years. I did reach out to Joe when he started posting here about his cancer, and suggested we get together sometime.

He said he would love to, but he hadn't been feeling well and said he'd get back to me. I certainly never mentioned DL, and didn't know him well enough to push him further. When I heard through the theater grapevine months later that Joe died, I posted on Joe's thread, and told my story in an attempt to give those who cared about them at DL a form of closure.

Most DL-ers were appreciative. We hadn't heard from Joe for over a month. About two weeks after that, Joe's husband Mark posted on Joe's authenticated account, confirming Joe's death.

The trolls called me a liar. Some even called Mark a liar. What are you going to do? I choose to believe what people say. It doesn't harm me. I'm still not sure that my Joe was DL's Joe, but in the end it doesn't matter.

Don't stop posting and don't worry about anyone else. You take care of yourself. That's all that matters. I'm glad you found solace here.

by Anonymousreply 104October 13, 2023 4:31 AM

Thank you, R104. :)

Is there any way you can reach out to Mark to see how he is doing? I felt so bad for him throughout the final stages of Joe's illness. He's probably not interested in posting again, but he might like to know he and Joe are remembered fondly.

by Anonymousreply 105October 13, 2023 6:24 AM

It seems as if the number of people being diagnosed with sinus cancer has really increased in recent years. A few years ago, it seemed like a rarity for someone to be diagnosed. Now, not so much at all.

by Anonymousreply 106October 13, 2023 6:36 AM

You're welcome, r105. While I am almost entirely sure in my own mind that my Joe and DL's Joe are one and the same, even I am not certain.

Given that, and since I didn't know Joe well enough to broach the subject of DL with *him*, I won't be bringing it up with Mark, who I have only met a few times.

Here's the thing. I already know that my Joe was much beloved, and deservedly so. That is the kind of guy Joe was. Everyone knew it. Mark knew it more than anyone. Take it as read that they both would appreciate it.

I will absolutely check in on Mark with a holiday card this year. That was going to happen anyway. I worked with my Joe on and off over two decades. Sending a holiday card to his widower is the right thing to do.

Up to Mark as to whether he wants to respond to my card. If he does, I can't see that it's likely I'll report back. I took a ton of abuse when I posted this before, and honestly wasn't terribly inclined to open myself up to that again.

I felt it was worth mentioning on this thread.

by Anonymousreply 107October 13, 2023 7:29 AM

I posted that I don’t believe. I still don’t. You don’t add up OP. I’m grossed out by your lies. Call me a troll & i still call OP out on bullshit. Cancer is real & it’s horrible & there are limits to what’s decent - even on DL. A path to health is created by the prime Dr - so many various appointments within the first two weeks - but OP wasn’t even contacted. What!?! That doesn’t happen. What do people want to know about cancer? Both my parents went through it. Thank you!

by Anonymousreply 108October 13, 2023 12:52 PM

Trolls are so uninteresting. Off you go to ignore hell.

by Anonymousreply 109October 13, 2023 12:57 PM

Will you die in a year, bitch?

by Anonymousreply 110October 13, 2023 1:56 PM

[quote] but OP wasn’t even contacted. What!?! That doesn’t happen.

Just to weigh in here with limited anecdotal context, my dad had a biopsy last year where before it the doctor was almost certain my dad had prostate cancer, did the biopsy, and then the biopsy was returned with negative results for cancer, but they never let my dad know. My dad was panicked about and didn’t want to know so didn’t reach out to them, so 4 weeks after the biopsy was performed I called them and they told me the results (calling from another country). I know an all clear result is less pressing than a diagnosis of course, but their excuse for not calling was that the doctor was on holidays :/

by Anonymousreply 111October 13, 2023 5:00 PM

R111, that's what I was getting at as well. Not only can it take several weeks to get back, but, for the majority of people, waiting for cancer tests results when something is suspicious enough to warrant a biopsy is agonizing.

My blood pressure has always been great, but I think during those two weeks I was awaiting my results, it was certainly elevated. I was anxious and sleep-deprived which all affected my day-to-day thinking (and judgement). Again, thankfully, mine was negative, but until they tell you that-- you don't know! It's nothing compared to the treatment people who do have cancer get, but you would think the system would be a little better now. Some reassurance about odds, an offer to prescribe a mild antianxiety drug in the interim.

My biopsy was on my thyroid. It was extremely unpleasant. If you haven't had a biopsy, you might not know that it is more than one or two pokes. The endocrinologist who took mine said she needed three aspirations per needle puncture, and needed three punctures for a total of nine aspirations. In the end, she needed more to be satisfied that she had taken from enough different areas, and I think I ended up having five punctures with fifteen aspirations.

There was no medication for that procedure or anything-- had I known I would not be given anything to relax or lessen the sensation of absolutely every little aspiration, I would have taken some Tylenol before my appointment. If the biopsy had been on my leg or something it wouldn't have been as nerve wracking, but it was literally needles front and center IN my throat. It was borderline panic-inducing. MARY!

Thirteen years ago, a close childhood friend was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer when she was just 30 years old. Without going into a lot of detail, medical people were pretty cold to her for her many procedures. She's a friendly, easy to get along with person with a worse than useless family/little support and mounting bills, and she was young and terrified but just trying to get through it. A little bit of kindness and assurance would have gone a very long way with her. I'm not saying the doctors and techs were efficient and not chatty--most patients are more or less ok with that-- I'm saying they were cold and inconsiderate. I can't imagine how alone she must have felt at such a harrowing time. A little kindness goes a long way, but apparently that's just too much to ask.

by Anonymousreply 112October 13, 2023 6:40 PM


by Anonymousreply 113October 13, 2023 6:43 PM

I haven’t been diagnosed with cancer, but a few weeks ago I had a terrible migraine out of the blue. After suffering for four days, I went to the E.R. The doctor came in and said I would get an immediate cat scan, but she suspected I was having a stroke and bleeding on the brain; I was to immediately start a drug cocktail and be prepped for possible surgery.

I laid in the bed, stunned , and my b.p. went so high everything started beeping. My partner asked if he should call anyone, who should watch the dog, etc. I was wheeled away for my cat scan, it was immediately read, and probably disappointingly for the doctor, it looked fine. She comes back in, says it’s just a migraine, they will give me meds and send me home, blah blah blah. My partner says, oh, you always have to be so dramatic, lol. I don’t know why the doc couldn’t wait 15 minutes to make a better diagnosis.

OP, hope you’re having a day of rest and little discomfort.

by Anonymousreply 114October 13, 2023 6:46 PM

R108 is the only poster on DL to have close family members diagnosed with cancer-- everyone else here is just fake news!

by Anonymousreply 115October 13, 2023 9:26 PM

OP, I know my genetic tests for breast cancer took several weeks. I don't know if they are all comparable, but it was definitely a wait as compared to the histopathology reports.

by Anonymousreply 116October 14, 2023 11:38 AM

My husband is being treated for prostate cancer. He’s had 30 of 44 radiation treatments. He didn’t have a lot of stamina to begin with and he’s weak and tired all of the time. As a reaction, I hired a personal trainer a year ago and have never felt better. Lifting him is a lot easier.

by Anonymousreply 117October 14, 2023 10:55 PM

That’s sounds intense, r117. I didn’t realise people had so many radiation treatments.

by Anonymousreply 118October 16, 2023 8:07 AM

OP again. I finally got the call today. Good news for a change -the two cancers are unrelated, so I won't be starting chemo or radiation. Instead, I'll be going in for periodic re-checks for awhile. Again, thank you for being there (here?) for me throughout this. For those of you who believe it was all a lie, you can believe whatever you wish -I'm so happy right now I really don't care.

To all of you who posted here with your own and your family's dealings with cancer I wish you well. Hugs to you all.

by Anonymousreply 119October 17, 2023 1:52 AM

Hugs to you OP. Great news.

by Anonymousreply 120October 17, 2023 2:47 AM

Great News OP! Thanks for the update!

by Anonymousreply 121October 17, 2023 6:44 AM

Glad for your good news, OP.

by Anonymousreply 122October 18, 2023 1:38 AM

STFU and die OP

by Anonymousreply 123October 18, 2023 1:57 AM

R115 I didn’t write that. Although anyone with family or friends with cancer knows OP is making this up.

by Anonymousreply 124October 18, 2023 5:05 PM

Hugs and kisses OP

by Anonymousreply 125October 18, 2023 6:40 PM

Can I have your stuff?

by Anonymousreply 126October 18, 2023 6:42 PM

Great news, OP! May I ask what the signs of the cancer originally were, that let you catch it earlier enough?

by Anonymousreply 127October 18, 2023 8:22 PM

As someone who has friends and family with cancer I know that if you know one person with cancer you know one person with cancer.

My wife, a good friend in DC and a sister-in-law in a flyover state all have had breast cancer and you would think things like pathology turn around time and surgeon behavior would be similar, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Results that come back in two days in New York take three+ weeks in a non-teaching hospital in a fly over state. Fly over state and New York both had competent surgeons. DC is a lawsuit.

There’s no way for me to know for sure anything about OP. But I do know that I am thrilled to hear about OP’s wonderful outcome. As the kids say haters gonna hate.

by Anonymousreply 128October 18, 2023 9:33 PM

R127 - I was feeling incredibly tired/rundown all the time, and then I started having headaches almost non-stop. The headache pain was localized behind my right eye. Next I started having pain and hearing loss in my right ear, and a constant runny nose. My primary care doctor thought it was a viral infection. I also had a funny sort of pimple on my face, just under my eye. It had become hard (like a rock) and broke off and bled a bit. A few days later it was growing back. Only there were two now -the original one under my eye and another on the side of my nose (about an inch away). So at my follow-up appt. I brought them to her attention. She said it looked like a skin cancer and referred me to a dermatologist. While I was waiting (and waiting) for insurance approval and an appointment the one under my eye grew and grew until it was like a little horn. It broke off a second time and bled a lot. Again, it immediately started growing back. Eventually the dermatologist looked at them and sliced them both off for biopsy... When those came back positive he started putting all my symptoms together, did a nasoendoscopy, and came up with the diagnosis of sinus cancer. I didn't have any nosebleeds or blood in my mucus, which are more classic indicators.

I gather that smoking is the most likely cause of this kind of cancer. I've never smoked, but I grew up in a household of heavy smokers. My mom died of lung cancer and my dad from COPD. I've always been worried that all the second-hand smoke I inhaled would wreck my lungs, too. Never thought about my sinuses!

by Anonymousreply 129October 19, 2023 4:01 AM


by Anonymousreply 130October 22, 2023 11:57 AM

That’s awful OP. Everyone has a weird road to diagnosis. Most GPs either don’t want to know or assume it’s the easiest thing to treat.

by Anonymousreply 131October 23, 2023 1:38 AM

For the OP and others suffering with worry and grief, I'm very pleased to know that the success I've achieved in the past year will give you the courage to go forward.

by Anonymousreply 132October 23, 2023 4:45 AM

OP, how are you doing?

Wishing you well as the new year approaches.

by Anonymousreply 133December 26, 2023 11:34 AM

OP. I am so sorry to have discovered this thread. All my best wishes to you. Stay strong. Stay positive. And surround yourself with only positive people. Xoxoxo.

by Anonymousreply 134December 26, 2023 11:42 AM

OP, what a diagnosis... something I've never thought or heard of - sinus cancer. Your last post was in October, hopefully you've started treatment and the prognosis is positive.

by Anonymousreply 135December 26, 2023 11:52 AM

Hope you are ok OP

by Anonymousreply 136December 26, 2023 11:57 AM

I hope you’re okay, OP

by Anonymousreply 137December 26, 2023 11:58 AM

OP, Happy Holidays, I hope that you're doing well.

by Anonymousreply 138December 26, 2023 12:24 PM

I found out thru the portal and I didn't mind, I know some people would freak out, but I had already almost died from AIDS, so this was not so shocking, it will probably come back and that won't be shocking either.

by Anonymousreply 139December 26, 2023 5:07 PM

OP here. Thank you for your concern and good wishes. :)

I've had three surgeries, with the last being facial reconstruction. That last was truly amazing, as the scar is neatly hidden by my glasses and I would never in a million years have thought I would get my face back. I have another surgery coming up for what is believed to be an unrelated tumor in my inner ear. I have lost most of my hearing in that ear, and there is hope that once the growth is gone some of the hearing will be restored. The doctor says he's pretty sure all of this is coincidental, and not a part of the sinus cancer. So, all in all, I'm doing very well.

For any of you out there going through cancer treatments, or who have loved ones dealing with cancer, I wish you well. I'm proof that you can get through it. Happy New Year!!

by Anonymousreply 140December 26, 2023 5:15 PM

Thank you for the update OP!

by Anonymousreply 141December 26, 2023 8:32 PM

for all those getting terrible diagnosis's don't despair. The crispr technology that is continuing to come out is going to be a cure for a lot of diseases including cancer. So don't let these things be devastating. As horrid as the world is right now the world of medicine is rapidly progressing to the benefit of all.

by Anonymousreply 142December 26, 2023 8:50 PM

For what it is worth, I had a lesion on my nose that wouldn't heal for over a year. Dermatologist removed it and had it checked for cancer, promised to call me in 7-10 days with the result. No one ever called, so I called them, repeatedly and couldn't get anyone to answer, finally got someone to answer their phone and was told no one was available to talk to me and give me my results.

Finally someone called me back from another office 5 days later, another dermatologist office with my results, I was told I had skin cancer and needed Mohs Surgery to remove it and I had to schedule it NOW with them. They sad they were the only office in the area that offered Mohs surgery, which was a lie. I felt like I was being bum rushed and told them I would have to think about it. The reason I decided to think about it was because the lesion had healed perfectly and I was told by the doctor that because I had cancer the lesion would never heal. They sent me a registered letter telling me that they had tried repeatedly to call me, they hadn't and that I had cancer that would not heal or go away and that I needed Mohs surgery right away . Over a year and half later, the lesion has remained healed. So I either never had skin cancer or they got all the cancer in the initial removal. They lied to me too many times for me to ever trust them.

My results don't mean it would be the same for anyone else, If you have a cancer diagnosis you should probably follow doctors recommendations but I am glad I didn't.

by Anonymousreply 143December 26, 2023 9:27 PM


by Anonymousreply 144December 26, 2023 9:27 PM

OP at r140 - Glad to hear you're doing well. I remember your original post and hoped things would work out.

Happy New Year to you and many more to come.

by Anonymousreply 145December 26, 2023 9:31 PM

God, R144, who hurt you that you would hit the "Post" button after typing something so crude in a thread like this?

Good to read OP, quite the story (facial reconstruction? Yikes!). Best with the next surgery to remove the growth in the ear (incredible that surgeons can get into the ear and operate).

by Anonymousreply 146December 26, 2023 9:39 PM

Happy New Year and best wishes for a successful upcoming surgery, r140/OP!

by Anonymousreply 147December 26, 2023 9:42 PM

Yay, OP! Great news!

by Anonymousreply 148December 29, 2023 7:21 PM

Seek Stereotactic Radiosurgery. Radio surgery is non-invasive. Zeros in on exact location of cancer. Don't subject yourself to the negative reactions of chemo and radiation. Sadly for patients, hospitals make big bucks on these procedures.

by Anonymousreply 149December 29, 2023 7:33 PM
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