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America's ass is now claimed. Chris Evans finally gets married

Chris, 42, married girlfriend girlfriend Alba Baptista, 26, over the weekend.

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by Anonymousreply 89December 19, 2023 8:36 PM

How long do we give it? 4 years? That seems to be the average. Hope he has an airtight prenup.

by Anonymousreply 1September 10, 2023 10:26 PM

Maybe he wants kids. In which case it will last 10 years or more.

by Anonymousreply 2September 10, 2023 10:30 PM

She looks like pre-op Elliot Page.

by Anonymousreply 3September 10, 2023 10:33 PM

America's ass is rather flat unlike America's pecs.

by Anonymousreply 4September 10, 2023 10:33 PM

He definitely wants kids. Been talking about it for over a decade.

He married someone young enough to give him a couple kids. That was probably his main gf criteria. Will they last? Probably not, but he’ll get those offspring!

by Anonymousreply 5September 10, 2023 10:33 PM

Is she a good cocksucker at least?

by Anonymousreply 6September 10, 2023 10:37 PM

I remembre his dick pics, looked like thick pretty cock.

by Anonymousreply 7September 10, 2023 10:38 PM

He married a short brunette Mediterranean woman with nice eyes and a big bosom, I’m ever so shocked.

by Anonymousreply 8September 10, 2023 10:39 PM

Goodbye, Gays.

by Anonymousreply 9September 10, 2023 10:39 PM

Remember that time we saw what was on his phone? 🍆

by Anonymousreply 10September 10, 2023 10:39 PM

[quote] Remember that time we saw what was on his phone? 🍆

R7 does.

by Anonymousreply 11September 10, 2023 10:40 PM

I know Chris Evans exists, but I have no idea what he's famous for.

by Anonymousreply 12September 10, 2023 10:40 PM

FFS he was Captain America.

by Anonymousreply 13September 10, 2023 10:41 PM

^ He was a guest star on the Love Boat, Rose.

by Anonymousreply 14September 10, 2023 10:41 PM

She does look like Ellen page in ops photo. Wow.

Does he still have Crazy fans or have they moved on? When was the last avengers movie?

by Anonymousreply 15September 10, 2023 10:44 PM

Another "gay" celebrity marries a woman.

Quelle surprise.

by Anonymousreply 16September 10, 2023 10:45 PM

Yeah he definitely wants kids. She’s fifteen years younger than him.

by Anonymousreply 17September 10, 2023 10:46 PM

He’s really probably not gay.

by Anonymousreply 18September 10, 2023 10:46 PM

Yep r5.

Chris Evans has always talked about how he wants kids. I don't think he even cares about being married, but he needs a girl that will pop him out some kids.

by Anonymousreply 19September 10, 2023 10:47 PM

There was never any real reason to think Chris Evans was gay.

by Anonymousreply 20September 10, 2023 10:48 PM

Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t have kids right away, her career was going well. Granted she no longer needs to work.

by Anonymousreply 21September 10, 2023 10:48 PM

Having kids with Chris Evans means she is set for life r21. If I was her I would be getting pregnant as soon as possible.

by Anonymousreply 22September 10, 2023 10:50 PM

It is impossible to be a human on this earth and not having some level of familiarity with those Avengers movies r12. That's utter bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 23September 10, 2023 10:52 PM

I married my drug mule.

by Anonymousreply 24September 10, 2023 10:52 PM

They've been dating since he was 40 and she was 24.

Setting aside the desire for younger pussy, the reason older guys, especially those who don't seem to stay in relationships a d long time, date younger women is that they are much more willing to put up with their bullshit that older women won't, unless they're desperate.

It's easy to fool young people into thinking bizarre behavior and relationship expectations are normal when they have a limited frame of reference.

Money and hot dick helps, obviously.

by Anonymousreply 25September 10, 2023 10:54 PM

I remember his dick photo was very close up. At close range, even a stumpy 5 inches looks big. We need a full length body shot for true sizemeat verificata.

by Anonymousreply 26September 10, 2023 10:54 PM

Does no one want to talk about my dick photo? It leaked also!

by Anonymousreply 27September 10, 2023 10:56 PM

To me she looks like his ex Jenny Slate. Waifish.

by Anonymousreply 28September 10, 2023 10:56 PM

She looks like Alicia Vikander, but with a big bosom.

by Anonymousreply 29September 10, 2023 10:57 PM

Fag marrying for straight PR photo ops/People magazine spreads, and to quell rumors.

by Anonymousreply 30September 10, 2023 10:58 PM

[quote] It leaked also!

I'm sure it leaks a lot, Scott.

by Anonymousreply 31September 10, 2023 10:59 PM

Father and daughter wedding

by Anonymousreply 32September 10, 2023 10:59 PM

Does she speak English? Needed a green card?

by Anonymousreply 33September 10, 2023 11:04 PM

A Warrior Nun movie was announced two weeks ago. She may be obligated to film that before having kids. It would be odd to make this announcement if she was planning on having kids right away. Granted, she may already be knocked up and the baby would be born well before production would start because of the strike.

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by Anonymousreply 34September 10, 2023 11:05 PM

Showmance

by Anonymousreply 35September 10, 2023 11:08 PM

Preggers?

by Anonymousreply 36September 10, 2023 11:13 PM

He’s DTF, he wants them babies!

by Anonymousreply 37September 10, 2023 11:16 PM

He married the Warrior Nun!! Can Captain America and the Warrior Nun be a movie?? I’d totally watch that!

And r34, thanks for that post! I was one of the angry petition signers that was pissed when it was cancelled on a cliff hanger so I’m very excited to hear there will be movies!!

(I really need to know what happens to Lilith and I’m secretly hoping Shotgun Mary is still out there somewhere).

For those that haven’t seen her, she’s a pretty good actress and absolutely fluent in English with a pretty perfect American accent.

by Anonymousreply 38September 11, 2023 12:12 AM

Brood mare, but not a bad gig in this case.

by Anonymousreply 39September 11, 2023 12:17 AM

[quote]I remembre his dick pics, looked like thick pretty cock.

Seemed like camera tricks based on the angle and we don't even know if that was his or his phone.

by Anonymousreply 40September 11, 2023 1:13 AM

[quote]It is impossible to be a human on this earth and not having some level of familiarity with those Avengers movies [R12]. That's utter bullshit.

Not if you avoid superhero movies. And there are a million nondescript actors named "Chris."

by Anonymousreply 41September 11, 2023 2:14 AM

I liked him and Jenny Slate together. She was age-appropriate and also from Boston, which I'd believe was a big plus for him.

The minute they broke up she went out and had a kid with someone else. You'd think if he was wanting kids that would have been the relationship to do it. Well either way, congrats.

by Anonymousreply 42September 11, 2023 3:10 AM

His career and hype are over anyways. He disappeared as soon as he started dating her.

She’s getting a 42 year-old whose career has dried up. I’d have been shocked 5 years ago. Not now.

He’s going to go off like Fassbender. As soon as he got married it was over. I think he’s having a comeback movie this year with David Fincher.

by Anonymousreply 43September 11, 2023 12:25 PM

He was so hot before the tats.

by Anonymousreply 44September 11, 2023 12:28 PM

Massachusetts is full of Portagee-Americans. He had to go to Lisbon to find a wife?!

by Anonymousreply 45September 11, 2023 12:36 PM

What’s a “girlfriend girlfriend “?

by Anonymousreply 46September 11, 2023 12:52 PM

Fassbender cares more about his racing career than his acting one r43. He is an odd bird.

But yes Chris Evans best career days are behind him, but he made tons of money off those marvel movies.

by Anonymousreply 47September 11, 2023 5:41 PM

Congratulations to them. Cute couple

by Anonymousreply 48September 11, 2023 5:58 PM

Out of all people Datalounge believed that? According to a journalist called Jusino who also predicted their valentine's day photo dump, their relationship is PR to promote their netflix projects.

His "wife" has lesbian rumors. He didn't want to hold her hand during the NYC papwalk in November 2022 when they debuted their "relationship". A blind item said that Sebastian Stan allegedly warned him to make the PR relationship contract so that he doesn't have to post her on the instagram grid, only on stories that only last 24 hours because Seb regrets that his PR gf is now permanently on his insta. Chris and his "wife" dating timeline doesn't add up. He told GQ that they were living in Atlanta for almost a year but at that time she "dated" French actor Lucas Bravo who is rumored to be gay too. During Chris Evan's ghosted movie premiere in april, where she appeared too, Chris didn't want her on the red carpet next to him and after that you saw him argue angrily with his PR manager called Megan. Probably because he only does the bare minimum for this business relationship. When he was told to mention his marriage at New York Comic Con this October, he only said that the two ceremonies they had were stressful. After that he said "Go Portugal"(his "wifes" home country) but to this day he has NEVER mentioned her actual first name. I'm not kidding with that. After that he talked 20 minutes about his dog. His "wedding" ring looks cheap and doesn't fit. Also, while they were allegedly already living together (based on his PR words in his GQ article), he mentioned in other interviews he was single and this June in an online interview, he said he loves being alone, that he is an "alone guy" but 3 months later he "marries". Also, at the beginnig when the relationship got revealed in Nov 2022, his "wife's" best friend, an alleged gay man from Portugal called Justin Amorim, publicly liked a tweet saying that Chris is now a "Dollar Store Leonardo Dicaprio".

Nothing adds up but you all ate it up anyway. Don't believe me? I will link a PR person's post about how immigration law would have been in their way to legally marry. So it is all fake either way.

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by Anonymousreply 49November 20, 2023 12:25 AM

Out of all people Datalounge believed that? According to a journalist called Jusino who also predicted their valentine's day photo dump, their relationship is PR to promote their netflix projects. His "wife" has lesbian rumors. He didn't want to hold her hand during the NYC papwalk in November 2022 when they debuted their "relationship". A blind item said that Sebastian Stan allegedly warned him to make the PR relationship contract so that he doesn't have to post her on the instagram grid, only on stories that only last 24 hours because Seb regrets that his PR gf is now permanently on his insta. Chris and his "wife" dating timeline doesn't add up. He told GQ that they were living in Atlanta for almost a year but at that time she "dated" French actor Lucas Bravo who is rumored to be gay too. During Chris Evan's ghosted movie premiere in april, where she appeared too, Chris didn't want her on the red carpet next to him and after that you saw him argue angrily with his PR manager called Megan. Probably because he only does the bare minimum for this business relationship. When he was told to mention his marriage at New York Comic Con this October, he only said that the two ceremonies they had were stressful. After that he said "Go Portugal"(his "wifes" home country) but to this day he has NEVER mentioned her actual first name. I'm not kidding with that. After that he talked 20 minutes about his dog. His "wedding" ring looks cheap and doesn't fit. Also, while they were allegedly already living together (based on his PR words in his GQ article), he mentioned in other interviews he was single and this June in an online interview, he said he loves being alone, that he is an "alone guy" but 3 months later he "marries". Also, at the beginnig when the relationship got revealed in Nov 2022, his "wife's" best friend, an alleged gay man from Portugal called Justin Amorim, publicly liked a tweet saying that Chris is now a "Dollar Store Leonardo Dicaprio". Nothing adds up but you all ate it up anyway. Don't believe me? I will link a PR person's post about how immigration law would have been in their way to legally marry. So it is all fake either way.

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by Anonymousreply 50November 20, 2023 12:27 AM

This is the journalist who not only claimed it is PR but also predicted some of their PR games. Also, when TMZ reports on it, they only quote other magazines regarding the marriage. They are lawyer based and know they can't claim things without evidence. The state where they "married" has public info on marriage licenses, yet there is still none available.

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by Anonymousreply 51November 20, 2023 12:33 AM

16 years is a significant age gap, yes?

by Anonymousreply 52November 20, 2023 1:05 AM

They say this faked pr marriage stunt is sucking the life out of him because since then he is losing thousands of followers.

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by Anonymousreply 53December 14, 2023 6:53 PM

Who is “they”, R53? The X account you linked to with 120 followers or Lily who responded with 16 followers?

by Anonymousreply 54December 14, 2023 7:09 PM

His Fandom of small #teamPR accounts

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by Anonymousreply 55December 14, 2023 7:16 PM

One year ago his PR girlfriend has leaked her own shower nude video on Instagram. As a result, she was banned from it for months! She did this tantrum because she saw how the general public was laughing at them on dailymail UK, when they reported on their New York paparazzi walk. She did leak that shower video on her instagram story function despite knowing that his family + nephews were following her as part of the PR. She is disgusting. No wonder he looks so thinly at r53 in comparison with the other picture. I hope you Datalounge gays can help exposing this because he doesn't seem happy. Poor Evans.

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by Anonymousreply 56December 14, 2023 7:24 PM

Evans has a lot of reasons to be unhappy that have nothing to do with his marriage. Starting with his awful wig.

Wiglet wearing ho!

Secondly,

Anyone who does not understand why Chris Evans married a SHORT, BUSTY, BRUNETTE WOMAN OF MEDITERRANEAN DESCENT WITH A BIG ROUND FACE AND SMILE need to take a Psych 101 class.

by Anonymousreply 57December 14, 2023 7:34 PM

Also, I guarantee you he is more high maintenance than she is.

by Anonymousreply 58December 14, 2023 7:40 PM

[quote] Anyone who does not understand why Chris Evans married a SHORT, BUSTY, BRUNETTE WOMAN OF MEDITERRANEAN DESCENT WITH A BIG ROUND FACE AND SMILE need to take a Psych 101 class.

I’m rather dense. Why would he do that?

by Anonymousreply 59December 14, 2023 7:46 PM

R59 It’s a riddle.

by Anonymousreply 60December 14, 2023 7:49 PM

R59 I think it's because she reminds him of his one true love sebastian stan.

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by Anonymousreply 61December 14, 2023 7:56 PM

.

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by Anonymousreply 62December 14, 2023 8:38 PM

I checked it too. He loses followers to this day. No one wants to see him married. I'm shocked.

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by Anonymousreply 63December 14, 2023 9:58 PM

He loses followers because he's boring.

Evans and his crazy fans fall under my theory of Asperger's Syndrome and "sublime blankness." Aspies project blankness. They are not natural smilers so they tend not to have big smile lines and crows feet. They usually give indistinct half-smiles. They have very clear eyes. A perfect empty canvas. The fact that many of his fans want to project a kind of celibacy on him does not surprise me. Alternatively, the fact that he is one of the most frequently used faces in homoerotic AI art does not surprise me either.

In reality, Aspies are to a T almost always very difficult people. I do not envy this young Portuguese girl who thought she had married Captain America and instead finds herself eating dinner silently at a table with a man who doesn't bother to ask her how her day was and turns into Mr. Hyde if she rearranges the sock drawer.

He may not have even told her until after the wedding.

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by Anonymousreply 64December 15, 2023 3:46 AM

He needs to drop some dick pics/jo videos.

That will get that thirsty boy some attention.

by Anonymousreply 65December 15, 2023 3:48 AM

^^Don't forget his asshole!

by Anonymousreply 66December 15, 2023 4:12 AM

[quote] He needs to drop some dick pics/jo videos.

He already did that, you fucking troglodyte.

by Anonymousreply 67December 15, 2023 4:14 AM

R67 Fuck you, and where is the link, asshole?

by Anonymousreply 68December 15, 2023 4:21 AM

What a waste.

by Anonymousreply 69December 15, 2023 4:24 AM

maybe he's a nice guy and they get on well. the cynicism!

by Anonymousreply 70December 15, 2023 4:36 AM

It won't last long. She's 26 acting like 16. Chris is too mature for that bs.

by Anonymousreply 71December 15, 2023 5:21 AM

Who the fuck still gives a shit about Chris Evans? Dude is old. He was like Captain America a long time ago. We don't care who he's fucking.

Them/Their

by Anonymousreply 72December 15, 2023 6:20 AM

Here is Chris's dick pic that leaked 3 years ago:

(Black & White version)

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by Anonymousreply 73December 15, 2023 9:31 AM

Color version:

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by Anonymousreply 74December 15, 2023 9:31 AM

I saw the wife in a movie and found her very likeable. Alas I have zero memory of the movie now.

by Anonymousreply 75December 15, 2023 10:04 AM

It is rumored that the wife is a lesbian and Chris is her merkin.

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by Anonymousreply 76December 15, 2023 3:03 PM

He just wants some kids. There will be a pregnancy announcement in 2024. I’ll say in August.

by Anonymousreply 77December 17, 2023 2:02 PM

R77 If he had wanted kids, he would have gotten them already. It was the fake Disney image where he was ordered to say that he wants to start a family. In reality he is a guy that wants to be for himself and a dog. His own words:

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by Anonymousreply 78December 17, 2023 7:15 PM

Where is the aspergers expert explaining that Evans would find raising kids too stressful and wants to focus on his dog instead (Like Henry who has that rumor with the abortion and the Irish actress)?

by Anonymousreply 79December 17, 2023 7:18 PM

He’s famous and good looking so everyone on DL knows that he’s gay. All the signs are there - famous, good looking. The two definitive indicators of homosexuality. Anyone who says otherwise is STUPID or a FRAU.

by Anonymousreply 80December 17, 2023 7:18 PM

Wow r79. I usually chide the people who claim idiots from LSA ruin threads, but wow.

by Anonymousreply 81December 17, 2023 7:21 PM

Also you people seem to be under the impression that extremely wealthy movie stars raise their own children. Boy do I have news for you. Evans can have as many children as he wants and remain as isolated and aloof as he wants to be.

by Anonymousreply 82December 17, 2023 7:24 PM

And why have children then?

by Anonymousreply 83December 17, 2023 8:13 PM

The evolutionary impulse for procreation and fear of death.

Duh.

Did Laura Dern's Oscar win mean nothing to you?

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by Anonymousreply 84December 17, 2023 8:18 PM

Where do I send my present?

by Anonymousreply 85December 17, 2023 8:50 PM

Nice unit, on him, but the camera adds 10lbs, and an inch or two.

by Anonymousreply 86December 17, 2023 10:12 PM

R82 and you support the immorality of that? Wicked!

by Anonymousreply 87December 17, 2023 11:06 PM

R81 Sory hun but it was exactly 1 year ago that Chris Evans mother liked a comment that disliked his PR relationship girlfriend Alba. It's not just LSA. Everyone hates the PR relationships except dataloungers... funnily enough....

Why would his own mutual mutha do this? Coz she saw her son suffering from pr contract?

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by Anonymousreply 88December 19, 2023 6:23 PM

[quote] Why would his own mutual mutha do this?

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by Anonymousreply 89December 19, 2023 8:36 PM
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