America's ass is now claimed. Chris Evans finally gets married

How long do we give it? 4 years? That seems to be the average. Hope he has an airtight prenup.

Maybe he wants kids. In which case it will last 10 years or more.

She looks like pre-op Elliot Page.

America's ass is rather flat unlike America's pecs.

He definitely wants kids. Been talking about it for over a decade.

He married someone young enough to give him a couple kids. That was probably his main gf criteria. Will they last? Probably not, but he’ll get those offspring!

Is she a good cocksucker at least?

I remembre his dick pics, looked like thick pretty cock.

He married a short brunette Mediterranean woman with nice eyes and a big bosom, I’m ever so shocked.

Goodbye, Gays.

Remember that time we saw what was on his phone? 🍆

[quote] Remember that time we saw what was on his phone? 🍆

R7 does.

I know Chris Evans exists, but I have no idea what he's famous for.

FFS he was Captain America.

^ He was a guest star on the Love Boat, Rose.

She does look like Ellen page in ops photo. Wow.

Does he still have Crazy fans or have they moved on? When was the last avengers movie?

Another "gay" celebrity marries a woman.

Quelle surprise.

Yeah he definitely wants kids. She’s fifteen years younger than him.

He’s really probably not gay.

Yep r5.

Chris Evans has always talked about how he wants kids. I don't think he even cares about being married, but he needs a girl that will pop him out some kids.

There was never any real reason to think Chris Evans was gay.

Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t have kids right away, her career was going well. Granted she no longer needs to work.

Having kids with Chris Evans means she is set for life r21. If I was her I would be getting pregnant as soon as possible.

It is impossible to be a human on this earth and not having some level of familiarity with those Avengers movies r12. That's utter bullshit.

I married my drug mule.

They've been dating since he was 40 and she was 24.

Setting aside the desire for younger pussy, the reason older guys, especially those who don't seem to stay in relationships a d long time, date younger women is that they are much more willing to put up with their bullshit that older women won't, unless they're desperate.

It's easy to fool young people into thinking bizarre behavior and relationship expectations are normal when they have a limited frame of reference.

Money and hot dick helps, obviously.

I remember his dick photo was very close up. At close range, even a stumpy 5 inches looks big. We need a full length body shot for true sizemeat verificata.

Does no one want to talk about my dick photo? It leaked also!

To me she looks like his ex Jenny Slate. Waifish.

She looks like Alicia Vikander, but with a big bosom.

Fag marrying for straight PR photo ops/People magazine spreads, and to quell rumors.

[quote] It leaked also!

I'm sure it leaks a lot, Scott.

Father and daughter wedding

Does she speak English? Needed a green card?

A Warrior Nun movie was announced two weeks ago. She may be obligated to film that before having kids. It would be odd to make this announcement if she was planning on having kids right away. Granted, she may already be knocked up and the baby would be born well before production would start because of the strike.

Showmance

Preggers?

He’s DTF, he wants them babies!

He married the Warrior Nun!! Can Captain America and the Warrior Nun be a movie?? I’d totally watch that!

And r34, thanks for that post! I was one of the angry petition signers that was pissed when it was cancelled on a cliff hanger so I’m very excited to hear there will be movies!!

(I really need to know what happens to Lilith and I’m secretly hoping Shotgun Mary is still out there somewhere).

For those that haven’t seen her, she’s a pretty good actress and absolutely fluent in English with a pretty perfect American accent.

Brood mare, but not a bad gig in this case.

[quote]I remembre his dick pics, looked like thick pretty cock.

Seemed like camera tricks based on the angle and we don't even know if that was his or his phone.

[quote]It is impossible to be a human on this earth and not having some level of familiarity with those Avengers movies [R12]. That's utter bullshit.

Not if you avoid superhero movies. And there are a million nondescript actors named "Chris."

I liked him and Jenny Slate together. She was age-appropriate and also from Boston, which I'd believe was a big plus for him.

The minute they broke up she went out and had a kid with someone else. You'd think if he was wanting kids that would have been the relationship to do it. Well either way, congrats.

His career and hype are over anyways. He disappeared as soon as he started dating her.

She’s getting a 42 year-old whose career has dried up. I’d have been shocked 5 years ago. Not now.

He’s going to go off like Fassbender. As soon as he got married it was over. I think he’s having a comeback movie this year with David Fincher.

He was so hot before the tats.

Massachusetts is full of Portagee-Americans. He had to go to Lisbon to find a wife?!

What’s a “girlfriend girlfriend “?

Fassbender cares more about his racing career than his acting one r43. He is an odd bird.

But yes Chris Evans best career days are behind him, but he made tons of money off those marvel movies.

Congratulations to them. Cute couple

Out of all people Datalounge believed that? According to a journalist called Jusino who also predicted their valentine's day photo dump, their relationship is PR to promote their netflix projects.

His "wife" has lesbian rumors. He didn't want to hold her hand during the NYC papwalk in November 2022 when they debuted their "relationship". A blind item said that Sebastian Stan allegedly warned him to make the PR relationship contract so that he doesn't have to post her on the instagram grid, only on stories that only last 24 hours because Seb regrets that his PR gf is now permanently on his insta. Chris and his "wife" dating timeline doesn't add up. He told GQ that they were living in Atlanta for almost a year but at that time she "dated" French actor Lucas Bravo who is rumored to be gay too. During Chris Evan's ghosted movie premiere in april, where she appeared too, Chris didn't want her on the red carpet next to him and after that you saw him argue angrily with his PR manager called Megan. Probably because he only does the bare minimum for this business relationship. When he was told to mention his marriage at New York Comic Con this October, he only said that the two ceremonies they had were stressful. After that he said "Go Portugal"(his "wifes" home country) but to this day he has NEVER mentioned her actual first name. I'm not kidding with that. After that he talked 20 minutes about his dog. His "wedding" ring looks cheap and doesn't fit. Also, while they were allegedly already living together (based on his PR words in his GQ article), he mentioned in other interviews he was single and this June in an online interview, he said he loves being alone, that he is an "alone guy" but 3 months later he "marries". Also, at the beginnig when the relationship got revealed in Nov 2022, his "wife's" best friend, an alleged gay man from Portugal called Justin Amorim, publicly liked a tweet saying that Chris is now a "Dollar Store Leonardo Dicaprio".

Nothing adds up but you all ate it up anyway. Don't believe me? I will link a PR person's post about how immigration law would have been in their way to legally marry. So it is all fake either way.

Out of all people Datalounge believed that? According to a journalist called Jusino who also predicted their valentine's day photo dump, their relationship is PR to promote their netflix projects. His "wife" has lesbian rumors. He didn't want to hold her hand during the NYC papwalk in November 2022 when they debuted their "relationship". A blind item said that Sebastian Stan allegedly warned him to make the PR relationship contract so that he doesn't have to post her on the instagram grid, only on stories that only last 24 hours because Seb regrets that his PR gf is now permanently on his insta. Chris and his "wife" dating timeline doesn't add up. He told GQ that they were living in Atlanta for almost a year but at that time she "dated" French actor Lucas Bravo who is rumored to be gay too. During Chris Evan's ghosted movie premiere in april, where she appeared too, Chris didn't want her on the red carpet next to him and after that you saw him argue angrily with his PR manager called Megan. Probably because he only does the bare minimum for this business relationship. When he was told to mention his marriage at New York Comic Con this October, he only said that the two ceremonies they had were stressful. After that he said "Go Portugal"(his "wifes" home country) but to this day he has NEVER mentioned her actual first name. I'm not kidding with that. After that he talked 20 minutes about his dog. His "wedding" ring looks cheap and doesn't fit. Also, while they were allegedly already living together (based on his PR words in his GQ article), he mentioned in other interviews he was single and this June in an online interview, he said he loves being alone, that he is an "alone guy" but 3 months later he "marries". Also, at the beginnig when the relationship got revealed in Nov 2022, his "wife's" best friend, an alleged gay man from Portugal called Justin Amorim, publicly liked a tweet saying that Chris is now a "Dollar Store Leonardo Dicaprio". Nothing adds up but you all ate it up anyway. Don't believe me? I will link a PR person's post about how immigration law would have been in their way to legally marry. So it is all fake either way.

This is the journalist who not only claimed it is PR but also predicted some of their PR games. Also, when TMZ reports on it, they only quote other magazines regarding the marriage. They are lawyer based and know they can't claim things without evidence. The state where they "married" has public info on marriage licenses, yet there is still none available.

16 years is a significant age gap, yes?

They say this faked pr marriage stunt is sucking the life out of him because since then he is losing thousands of followers.

Who is “they”, R53? The X account you linked to with 120 followers or Lily who responded with 16 followers?

His Fandom of small #teamPR accounts

One year ago his PR girlfriend has leaked her own shower nude video on Instagram. As a result, she was banned from it for months! She did this tantrum because she saw how the general public was laughing at them on dailymail UK, when they reported on their New York paparazzi walk. She did leak that shower video on her instagram story function despite knowing that his family + nephews were following her as part of the PR. She is disgusting. No wonder he looks so thinly at r53 in comparison with the other picture. I hope you Datalounge gays can help exposing this because he doesn't seem happy. Poor Evans.

Evans has a lot of reasons to be unhappy that have nothing to do with his marriage. Starting with his awful wig.

Wiglet wearing ho!

Secondly,

Anyone who does not understand why Chris Evans married a SHORT, BUSTY, BRUNETTE WOMAN OF MEDITERRANEAN DESCENT WITH A BIG ROUND FACE AND SMILE need to take a Psych 101 class.

Also, I guarantee you he is more high maintenance than she is.

[quote] Anyone who does not understand why Chris Evans married a SHORT, BUSTY, BRUNETTE WOMAN OF MEDITERRANEAN DESCENT WITH A BIG ROUND FACE AND SMILE need to take a Psych 101 class.

I’m rather dense. Why would he do that?

R59 It’s a riddle.

R59 I think it's because she reminds him of his one true love sebastian stan.

.

I checked it too. He loses followers to this day. No one wants to see him married. I'm shocked.

He loses followers because he's boring.

Evans and his crazy fans fall under my theory of Asperger's Syndrome and "sublime blankness." Aspies project blankness. They are not natural smilers so they tend not to have big smile lines and crows feet. They usually give indistinct half-smiles. They have very clear eyes. A perfect empty canvas. The fact that many of his fans want to project a kind of celibacy on him does not surprise me. Alternatively, the fact that he is one of the most frequently used faces in homoerotic AI art does not surprise me either.

In reality, Aspies are to a T almost always very difficult people. I do not envy this young Portuguese girl who thought she had married Captain America and instead finds herself eating dinner silently at a table with a man who doesn't bother to ask her how her day was and turns into Mr. Hyde if she rearranges the sock drawer.

He may not have even told her until after the wedding.

He needs to drop some dick pics/jo videos.

That will get that thirsty boy some attention.

^^Don't forget his asshole!

[quote] He needs to drop some dick pics/jo videos.

He already did that, you fucking troglodyte.

R67 Fuck you, and where is the link, asshole?

What a waste.

maybe he's a nice guy and they get on well. the cynicism!

It won't last long. She's 26 acting like 16. Chris is too mature for that bs.

Who the fuck still gives a shit about Chris Evans? Dude is old. He was like Captain America a long time ago. We don't care who he's fucking.

Them/Their

Here is Chris's dick pic that leaked 3 years ago:

(Black & White version)

Color version:

I saw the wife in a movie and found her very likeable. Alas I have zero memory of the movie now.

It is rumored that the wife is a lesbian and Chris is her merkin.

He just wants some kids. There will be a pregnancy announcement in 2024. I’ll say in August.

R77 If he had wanted kids, he would have gotten them already. It was the fake Disney image where he was ordered to say that he wants to start a family. In reality he is a guy that wants to be for himself and a dog. His own words:

Where is the aspergers expert explaining that Evans would find raising kids too stressful and wants to focus on his dog instead (Like Henry who has that rumor with the abortion and the Irish actress)?

He’s famous and good looking so everyone on DL knows that he’s gay. All the signs are there - famous, good looking. The two definitive indicators of homosexuality. Anyone who says otherwise is STUPID or a FRAU.

Wow r79. I usually chide the people who claim idiots from LSA ruin threads, but wow.

Also you people seem to be under the impression that extremely wealthy movie stars raise their own children. Boy do I have news for you. Evans can have as many children as he wants and remain as isolated and aloof as he wants to be.

And why have children then?

The evolutionary impulse for procreation and fear of death.

Duh.

Did Laura Dern's Oscar win mean nothing to you?

Where do I send my present?

Nice unit, on him, but the camera adds 10lbs, and an inch or two.

R82 and you support the immorality of that? Wicked!

R81 Sory hun but it was exactly 1 year ago that Chris Evans mother liked a comment that disliked his PR relationship girlfriend Alba. It's not just LSA. Everyone hates the PR relationships except dataloungers... funnily enough....

Why would his own mutual mutha do this? Coz she saw her son suffering from pr contract?

[quote] Why would his own mutual mutha do this?