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Jessica Flethcer Here - Ask Me Anything, Bishes.

I just had a lovely scalp massage and shampoo at Loretta's Beauty Salon here in Cabot Cover.

Now I'm sitting under the dryer, waiting for my final comb out.

I have a few minutes, so go ahead and ask away.

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by Anonymousreply 122October 18, 2023 11:24 AM

Who had the bigger cock:

A. Seth Haslett

B. Amos Tucker

by Anonymousreply 1September 10, 2023 1:56 PM

Well, Seth was actually bigger, but Amos was a better lovah.

by Anonymousreply 2September 10, 2023 1:57 PM

Loretta had the biggest dick and the deepest voice in Cabot Cove.

by Anonymousreply 3September 10, 2023 1:58 PM

What was going on between you and Michael Haggarty?

by Anonymousreply 4September 10, 2023 1:58 PM


Both Seth and Amos were uncut too.

by Anonymousreply 5September 10, 2023 1:58 PM

[quote]What was going on between you and Michael Haggarty?

Sorry, I don't recall Michael. Was he a body I found or a fuck buddy?

by Anonymousreply 6September 10, 2023 1:59 PM

All I know is people die when you’re around, so I’m cuttin’ outta here…

by Anonymousreply 7September 10, 2023 2:00 PM

I won't argue with that, R7.

But if it's your time to be a body, I'll find you.

by Anonymousreply 8September 10, 2023 2:02 PM

I'd like to know why you can't spell your own last name.

by Anonymousreply 9September 10, 2023 2:02 PM

Size meat verificatia for Grady?

Pix please?

by Anonymousreply 10September 10, 2023 2:03 PM

Grady was like his uncle Frank, well-endowed but without a lot of technical skill in bed.

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by Anonymousreply 11September 10, 2023 2:05 PM

And what about Sheriff Mort Metzger?

by Anonymousreply 12September 10, 2023 2:20 PM

[quote]And what about Sheriff Mort Metzger?

Oh Mort was a fine Sheriff, better than Amos, once he got adjusted to living in Cabot Cove.

by Anonymousreply 13September 10, 2023 2:21 PM

I see you're back in Cabot Cove. Why'd you leave New York City?

by Anonymousreply 14September 10, 2023 2:26 PM

Michael Hagerty.

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by Anonymousreply 15September 10, 2023 2:30 PM

Well, I still go to the city occasionally, but I gave up my apartment and decided to quarantine in Cabot Cove during the pandemic.

by Anonymousreply 16September 10, 2023 2:30 PM

[quote]Michael Hagerty

Oh yes, Michael...what an exceptional man!

I remember him very fondly.

by Anonymousreply 17September 10, 2023 2:31 PM

[quote]I see you're back in Cabot Cove. Why'd you leave New York City?

Word in the beauty shop is that after Jess found her 60 or 70th body, the New York cops starting focusing on her little to closely, and that's why she hot-footed it back to good ol' Cabot Cove.

by Anonymousreply 18September 10, 2023 2:34 PM

Is it true that you sleep with Dr. Seth in exchange for prescription drugs?

by Anonymousreply 19September 10, 2023 2:36 PM

^ folks at the beauty shop are saying that he not only gives Jess drugs, but he lifted her big saggy tits for her too!

by Anonymousreply 20September 10, 2023 2:39 PM

Why all that talk is simply gossip - you now how small towns are.

by Anonymousreply 21September 10, 2023 2:40 PM

What did Bea Arthur's pussy taste like?

by Anonymousreply 22September 10, 2023 2:41 PM

[quote]What did Bea Arthur's pussy taste like?

Sort of like old sardines with a dash of old feet smell.

by Anonymousreply 23September 10, 2023 2:43 PM

Oh. So better than I would've anticipated. Thanks!

by Anonymousreply 24September 10, 2023 2:53 PM

Since when did you start letting that cunt Loretta do your hair?

by Anonymousreply 25September 10, 2023 5:22 PM

Gladys, you know, I've always gone to you for my Brazilian waxes and my butthole bleaching.

But Loretta has always styled my hair...well, my head hair, that is.

by Anonymousreply 26September 10, 2023 5:32 PM

And I just about went bankrupt waxing that shag.

by Anonymousreply 27September 10, 2023 5:35 PM

Did Masterson really rape those girls?

by Anonymousreply 28September 10, 2023 5:37 PM

My speciality is lobster.

I'm afraid I don't know anything about bad clams.

by Anonymousreply 29September 10, 2023 7:26 PM

Which one of you couldn’t have kids: you or Frank?

by Anonymousreply 30September 10, 2023 7:53 PM

Frank was "shooting blanks", according to the gals in the shop.

by Anonymousreply 31September 10, 2023 8:15 PM

Well, I heard that they could have children, because Jess, Mrs. Fletcher, likes to do "butt stuff" so much.

You know, you can't get pregnant that way!

by Anonymousreply 32September 10, 2023 8:18 PM

Jess, is it true that you and Eve Simpson make frozen margaritas and lick each other's cooters...

while you're pretending to view real estate listings?

by Anonymousreply 33September 11, 2023 9:30 AM

Was Patty Duke really banned from appearing on your show because she stole your Oscar?

by Anonymousreply 34September 11, 2023 9:36 AM

Ok...why are you so fucking nosy?

by Anonymousreply 35September 11, 2023 10:28 AM

Oh dear, I suppose I sometime am too inquisitive.

That's what my dear Frank used to say anyway.

by Anonymousreply 36September 11, 2023 11:11 AM

[quote]Both Seth and Amos were uncut too.

OP is a foreskin fetishist.

by Anonymousreply 37September 11, 2023 11:18 AM


by Anonymousreply 38September 11, 2023 11:21 AM

You must have a very long list of enemies, Jess. How is that you've managed to not get murdered yourself in all this time, an if you were would you come back as a ghost to solve your own case? Would it be called a very special episode?

by Anonymousreply 39September 11, 2023 11:32 AM

Were you the killer in every episode?

by Anonymousreply 40September 11, 2023 12:28 PM

Did you let David Tolliver purple your prose?

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by Anonymousreply 41September 11, 2023 12:52 PM

Oh yes, that clever young David Tolliver was an excellent secretary...

(and a pretty darn good lovah too!)

by Anonymousreply 42September 11, 2023 1:28 PM

Of course I wasn't the real murderer. All of the killers confessed, whereupon I shook my head and radiated my disappointment in them. Do you think I hypnotized them into confessing?

by Anonymousreply 43September 11, 2023 2:14 PM

^ J.B. Fletcher drag queen impersonator

by Anonymousreply 44September 11, 2023 3:04 PM

Was there a Lane Bryant in Cabot Cove, or did you have to drive to Portland?

by Anonymousreply 45September 11, 2023 10:58 PM

But weren't the cops catching on to you, and that's why you went to Connecticut? R43?

by Anonymousreply 46September 11, 2023 11:09 PM

I can neither confirm nor deny, R46.

by Anonymousreply 47September 11, 2023 11:53 PM

As a professional author, shouldn’t your spelling be better?

by Anonymousreply 48September 12, 2023 12:01 AM

Sometimes when you are writing, you have to just let the words flow...

I don't let the rules of standard spelling stiffle my creativity.

by Anonymousreply 49September 12, 2023 9:02 AM

The murders in Cabot Cove seemed so bloodless and clean. Was it just the way of New Englanders? Thank Heaven you had no relatives involved in that dreadful Helter Skelter nonsense in Los Angeles! So un-seemly!

by Anonymousreply 50September 12, 2023 9:41 AM

[quote] But weren't the cops catching on to you, and that's why you went to Connecticut?


by Anonymousreply 51September 12, 2023 9:09 PM

Likely story R46!

by Anonymousreply 52September 12, 2023 9:24 PM

Who helped you cadge cigarettes while enjoying your prison stint, Yvonne De Carlo or Eve Plumb?

by Anonymousreply 53September 12, 2023 9:40 PM

So Jessie girl, what do you think of this new Murder She Wrote movie they are planning? Who should they cast? (Assuming it's not a CGI reanimated Dame Angela.)

by Anonymousreply 54September 12, 2023 9:45 PM

Jessica Flethcer?

by Anonymousreply 55September 12, 2023 9:46 PM

So I went through the victims dirty clothes hamper. And I found these women's panties in there. And they had the initials J.B.F on them. And I thought "what broad has those initials". And then I saw your full name on dat book you gave me. Jessica Beatrice Fletcher. It was you, wasn't it?

by Anonymousreply 56September 12, 2023 10:13 PM

Oh hello, Detective Columbo!

Yes, and I believe these dirty boxer shorts are yours.

by Anonymousreply 57September 13, 2023 8:37 AM

Is it true that your TV show single-handedly changed CBS from the Tiffany network to the Geritol rest home?

by Anonymousreply 58September 13, 2023 11:49 AM

Sorry J.B. - from one old dyke to another, they're mine, and YOU know how they got there..

by Anonymousreply 59September 13, 2023 11:50 AM

Were there “Depends” diapers on June Allison’s nightstand?

by Anonymousreply 60September 13, 2023 1:40 PM

Did handsome young men frequent Van Johnson’s hotel room?

by Anonymousreply 61September 13, 2023 1:44 PM

[quote]Thank Heaven you had no relatives involved in that dreadful Helter Skelter nonsense in Los Angeles! So un-seemly! —Squeaky

Squeaky dear, how nice to hear from you after all these years - I apologize for not contacting you, but we just assumed you were still in some sort of Mental institution or womens prison.

As you know, my daughter Deidre did spend time with you and the other members of the Manson Family, and they even used my credit cards to buy food and other necessities.

Of course, when we found out, we moved Deidre to Ireland and away from these distractions.

Unlike Jessica, we have absolutely no real life experience with murder, and neither I, nor Deidre, know anything about those terrible Manson Family murders.

by Anonymousreply 62September 13, 2023 3:25 PM

[quote]Did handsome young men frequent Van Johnson’s hotel room?

Oh yes, Van was such a dear man and a wonderful mentor so many handsome young men!

I remember that his trailer looked like some sort of locker room with all those half-naked men wandering around. And that scamp Van was often completely nude himself...you know, just to make the young men less self-conscious and more comfortable.

Van never seem to tire of working with those gorgeous young men.

But I did have to warn Van not to over-exert himself in his athletic endeavors with those handsome young men...

Poor Van, he sometimes strained himself and found it difficult to walk or even to sit.

by Anonymousreply 63September 13, 2023 3:32 PM

"Murder, She Wrote" had a lot of great guest stars:

Academy Award winners Martin Balsam, Ernest Borgnine, Kim Hunter, Mickey Rooney, Eli Wallach, and others.

Future Oscar winners George Clooney, James Coburn, and Martin Landau.

TV stars Rue McClanahan, Jessica Walter, Robert Stack, Tom Selleck, Jerry Stiller, Megan Mullally, and others.

Young actors Joaquin Phoenix, Caitlyn Jenner, Linda Hamilton, Bryan Cranston, Courteney Cox, Neil Patrick Harris, and others.

by Anonymousreply 64September 14, 2023 10:08 AM

^ Wow, Jess was a one-woman "Love Boat", employing all these Hollywood actors.

by Anonymousreply 65September 14, 2023 10:30 AM

What am I, chopped liver?

by Anonymousreply 66September 14, 2023 10:37 AM

You're a nobody, Shirley.

by Anonymousreply 67September 14, 2023 11:45 AM

You almost were Shirley in the episode "Shear Madness".

by Anonymousreply 68September 14, 2023 3:06 PM

I won a fucking Oscar for playing a whore, bitches. Worship me!

by Anonymousreply 69September 14, 2023 7:05 PM

[quote]I won a fucking Oscar for playing a whore, bitches. Worship me!

I don't know her.

by Anonymousreply 70September 14, 2023 8:13 PM

Who’s gonna watch the rebooooot? After the strike of course.

by Anonymousreply 71September 14, 2023 9:05 PM

^ I'll watch it...as long as they don't cast someone like Lens Dunham to play Jessica...

by Anonymousreply 72September 14, 2023 9:11 PM

An old drag queen with bad makeup and saggy tits would be the PERFECT J.B Fletcher.

by Anonymousreply 73September 15, 2023 2:35 AM

^ Eve Simpson, jealousy is really unattractive...especially at YOUR age...you fat old tramp!

by Anonymousreply 74September 15, 2023 1:48 PM

Hey Jess,

Were you able to treat that stubborn STI you got from fucking all of those Carribean black men at that resort where you went "undercover"?

by Anonymousreply 75September 15, 2023 1:58 PM

Was your father a Commie? Asking for a DL poster.

by Anonymousreply 76September 15, 2023 3:14 PM

My father was actually an Irish man named MacGill, whose family hailed from Kilcleer, County Cork, Ireland. I had two sisters and two brothers, Martin and Marshall.

Frank and I met at Harrison College in Green Falls, New Hampshire, where I was studying to become a journalist.

Frank was a Sigma Nu, and I was member of Delta Alpha Chi sorority.

by Anonymousreply 77September 15, 2023 4:38 PM

R75 I would have, if you had given me actual antibiotics. And not a jar of sulfa pills that had been sitting in your office since Taft was president. You horse and buggy hack.

by Anonymousreply 78September 15, 2023 4:42 PM

[quote] Wow, Jess was a one-woman "Love Boat", employing all these Hollywood actors.

Jess was all ballast with a well-swabbed poop deck.

by Anonymousreply 79September 15, 2023 9:36 PM

William Windom was sultry.

by Anonymousreply 80September 15, 2023 10:51 PM

Jess, do you shave your cooch?

by Anonymousreply 81September 16, 2023 3:23 AM

Did you own slaves back in the day?

by Anonymousreply 82September 16, 2023 10:14 AM

“Cabot Cover” sounds like combination of wall primer and full cover skin foundation.

by Anonymousreply 83September 16, 2023 10:30 AM

I like to think that we're all Cabot Covers at heart.

by Anonymousreply 84September 16, 2023 12:19 PM

Young(ish) William Windom was sexy. Not exactly handsome... but sexy.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 85September 16, 2023 2:26 PM

Well, I do declare, that young Mr. Windom certainly had a firm drip on his long, hard pistol.

by Anonymousreply 86September 16, 2023 3:10 PM

More Windom

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 87September 16, 2023 3:19 PM

[quote]Well, I do declare, that young Mr. Windom certainly had a firm drip on his long, hard pistol.

Oh yes, Seth had the firmest and perkiest buttocks I've ever come across....

and I've come across quite a few things too!

by Anonymousreply 88September 16, 2023 7:29 PM

^^^ biggest ho in Maine

by Anonymousreply 89September 16, 2023 8:26 PM

Have you ever been with a Black man?

by Anonymousreply 90September 17, 2023 10:39 AM

Do you have your typewriter there under the hairdryer, tapping out a new chapter while you finish that third martini?

by Anonymousreply 91September 17, 2023 11:09 AM

R90 - Honey, please, there weren't any people of color in Cabot Cove, ME. And certainly not sexualized ones. Why do you think the show was so popular with the olds?

by Anonymousreply 92September 17, 2023 1:46 PM

Was Eve Simpson conducting a torrid affair with Ideal Molloy at Hill House during lunch hour?

by Anonymousreply 93September 17, 2023 9:57 PM

^ Yes, but that was only until Eve got the listing on Ideal's big ol' house...

Eve may swing both ways but she really loves the dick

by Anonymousreply 94September 18, 2023 8:18 AM


Do you prefer Anilingus or Cunnilingus?

by Anonymousreply 95September 18, 2023 8:46 AM

[quote]Do you prefer Anilingus or Cunnilingus?

Mrs. F. likes it all.

She's surprisingly versatile and experimental. That's why my trannie wife Adelle and I enjoy her so much.

by Anonymousreply 96September 18, 2023 9:27 AM

"Corrine, take Mrs. F. in the back and give her the full Brazilian and an anal bleaching."

"Wow, all that..you must have some interesting plans, Mrs. Fletcher."

by Anonymousreply 97September 18, 2023 9:57 AM

Are you jealous that no one tried to turn this into a Trump thread yet?

by Anonymousreply 98September 18, 2023 10:16 AM

The best episode was "Town Father" wherein confirmed bachelor Sam Booth, the flamboyant mayor, was accused of fathering four children in Wyoming out of wedlock. Seth commented that he was like a character out of a Jacqueline Susann novel.

by Anonymousreply 99September 18, 2023 2:01 PM

A more appropriate comment would have been if Seth had said the mayor ACTED like Jacqueline Susann...

by Anonymousreply 100September 18, 2023 8:14 PM


Could you share your receipe for Clam Chowda...you know, the one with the barbiturates...the one you served to Amos Tupper's family.

You remember, Jess, that time his brother-in-law died at your dining room table.

by Anonymousreply 101September 19, 2023 2:58 PM

Is it true you secretly like big black cock?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 102September 19, 2023 5:08 PM

Well, as my friend Mamie Sue says, "Once you’ve had carnal relations with a gentleman of African descent, it’s very unusual to go back."

by Anonymousreply 103September 19, 2023 5:31 PM

How did you cope with DEATH all around you, day in day out? Did you see a grief counselor?

by Anonymousreply 104September 19, 2023 5:38 PM

[quote]How did you cope with DEATH all around you, day in day out? Did you see a grief counselor?

I did see one when I was in Miami.

Her name was Rose Nylund, and she was very nice.

But she semmed...oh, I don't know exactly how to say it...well, she seemed "limited".

by Anonymousreply 105September 19, 2023 8:44 PM

Jessica, be honest now...were you ever tempted to fuck Andrew Stevens...or did he completely skeeve you out?

by Anonymousreply 106September 19, 2023 9:46 PM

R106, please see my earlier reply on this topic at R42.

Thank you for being a fan, and look for my new book "The Corpse Twerked at Midnight"**.

** My publisher is trying to make my books "more relatable' to young readers.

by Anonymousreply 107September 20, 2023 12:02 PM

What do you think of the buff new fitness instructor?

by Anonymousreply 108September 20, 2023 12:05 PM

[quote]What do you think of the buff new fitness instructor?—Sally Struthers' headband

Oh yes, he's very attractive and his gym has become very popular here in Cabot Cove.

But given how heavy your wife is, I must wonder if his fitness programs are effective.

by Anonymousreply 109September 20, 2023 12:10 PM

Did you have a mammy?

by Anonymousreply 110September 20, 2023 12:30 PM

[quote]Did you have a mammy?

No, I didn't have a mammy.

But as you may know, my late husband Frank and I met at Harrison College in Green Falls, New Hampshire, whre I was a Delta Alpha Chi.

My dear friend and sorority sister Emily Dyers (who bore an uncanny resemblance to Dinah Shore) grew up in a wealthy Southern family, and she often spoke fondly of her dear Mammy.

(In fact Emily/Dinah was always singing about "her mammy", much to our consternation.)

by Anonymousreply 111September 20, 2023 12:56 PM

Are you and fellow member of the literary intelligentsia, Barbara Thorndyke still close. I believe she dedicated Scarlett Dawn at Boca Raton to you.

by Anonymousreply 112September 21, 2023 5:21 AM

Is it true that the B. in your name is in honor of that battleaxe Beatrice Arthur?

by Anonymousreply 113September 21, 2023 5:46 AM

[quote]Are you and fellow member of the literary intelligentsia, Barbara Thorndyke still close.

Oh yes, Barbara Thorndyke.

While Barbara did introduce me to the joys of Sapphic love after Frank died, I ultimately found Barbara to be pretentions, and a little racist to be honest.

But I have enjoyed her books.

by Anonymousreply 114September 21, 2023 1:16 PM

[quote]Is it true that the B. in your name is in honor of that battleaxe Beatrice Arthur?

Although my middle name is "Beatrice", I was named for an aunt.

But I did know Miss Arthur and had the greatest respect for her.

by Anonymousreply 115September 21, 2023 1:18 PM

How many pairs of mom jeans and gold clip on earrings did you own, Jess?

by Anonymousreply 116September 22, 2023 6:44 PM

[quote]How many pairs of mom jeans and gold clip on earrings did you own, Jess?

I do have quite a collection of both, R116; good observation.

But I probably also have as many blouses with shoulder pads as I have jeans and gold earrings.

by Anonymousreply 117October 14, 2023 12:22 PM

My name is AMOS TUPPAH

by Anonymousreply 118October 17, 2023 10:34 PM

Were you a little humiliated when they made you wear jeans that really showed off your gunt and made you try to pick up younger guys in the bar?

by Anonymousreply 119October 18, 2023 5:44 AM

How many false flags do you follow in Cabot Cove each year?

Do the number of overdoses from fentanyl exceed the number of food poisonings from bad lobster rolls?

Has anyone been poisoned with a fentanyl-laced lobster roll?

by Anonymousreply 120October 18, 2023 6:05 AM

JB - given the # of murders you 'solved' - is it possible you were complicit in most of them? Did you feel ridding Cabot Cove of undesirables was your cause?

by Anonymousreply 121October 18, 2023 8:24 AM

Have you ever had an abortion?

by Anonymousreply 122October 18, 2023 11:24 AM
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