I kiss and cuddle and say thank you.
After Sex, what do you say to your partner?
by Anonymous | reply 209 | September 25, 2023 8:14 PM |
Venmo?
by Anonymous | reply 1 | September 8, 2023 1:20 PM |
I conk myself on the noggin and cry “I could’ve had a V8!”
by Anonymous | reply 2 | September 8, 2023 1:21 PM |
Thanks. That was fun!
by Anonymous | reply 3 | September 8, 2023 1:21 PM |
Worst sex EVER!
by Anonymous | reply 4 | September 8, 2023 1:22 PM |
Cash only.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | September 8, 2023 1:22 PM |
Do you want to grab a shower before you go?
by Anonymous | reply 6 | September 8, 2023 1:22 PM |
Your money's on the dresser, Chocolate.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | September 8, 2023 1:23 PM |
I put on my Peggy Lee wig and sing "Is that all there is?"
by Anonymous | reply 8 | September 8, 2023 1:24 PM |
What -- are those...pimples...on your dick?
by Anonymous | reply 9 | September 8, 2023 1:24 PM |
You made love to me on Christmas Day. Now I'm pregnant and I want money!
by Anonymous | reply 10 | September 8, 2023 1:26 PM |
Sorry bro, gotta run. The wife wants to go out for dinner.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | September 8, 2023 1:26 PM |
You can leave, now!
by Anonymous | reply 12 | September 8, 2023 1:26 PM |
I lost my condom while I was fucking you. Ooops.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | September 8, 2023 1:27 PM |
Sorry, forgot to tell you I have crabs.
by Anonymous | reply 14 | September 8, 2023 1:28 PM |
I wonder what you taste like, with a nice Chianti and some fava beans.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | September 8, 2023 1:29 PM |
Your son was a better fuck than you.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | September 8, 2023 1:32 PM |
I have sufficient.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | September 8, 2023 1:32 PM |
Leave the money on the dresser.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | September 8, 2023 1:37 PM |
You speak to them?
by Anonymous | reply 19 | September 8, 2023 1:38 PM |
Don't shit on my sheets! Damnit!!!
by Anonymous | reply 20 | September 8, 2023 1:40 PM |
OK, boomer!
by Anonymous | reply 21 | September 8, 2023 1:42 PM |
You were my first.
by Anonymous | reply 22 | September 8, 2023 1:42 PM |
Depends on if I’m the Dom or sub. Sometimes it’s “your a great piece of ass, now go to the kitchen and make me a turkey sandwich.” Others times it’s “I love being your fkin whore. I do anything my daddy tells me to”.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | September 8, 2023 1:43 PM |
Right BEFORE sex guys will often look at my cock and say-
WOW
or
it's BEAUTIFUL
by Anonymous | reply 24 | September 8, 2023 1:44 PM |
Can you break a hundred dollar bill?
by Anonymous | reply 25 | September 8, 2023 1:44 PM |
" Now that you've turned 14,I think I can find a part for you in my next film."
by Anonymous | reply 26 | September 8, 2023 1:45 PM |
You can go now.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | September 8, 2023 1:46 PM |
Nobody says I love you?
by Anonymous | reply 28 | September 8, 2023 1:46 PM |
Are you still here?
by Anonymous | reply 29 | September 8, 2023 1:47 PM |
That was exquisite, sweetums! I can't wait to take you home to Mother!
by Anonymous | reply 30 | September 8, 2023 1:48 PM |
I don't have sex anymore but one time I got: "Can I have some of your weed for the road?"
by Anonymous | reply 31 | September 8, 2023 1:49 PM |
I should've killed myself when he put it in me. After the first time, before we were married, Ralph promised never again. He promised, and I believed him. But sin never dies. Sin never dies. At first, it was all right. We lived sinlessly. We slept in the same bed, but we never did it. And then, that night, I saw him looking down at me that way. We got down on our knees to pray for strength. I smelled the whiskey on his breath. Then he took me. He took me, with the stink of filthy roadhouse whiskey on his breath, and I liked it. I liked it! With all that dirty touching of his hands all over me.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | September 8, 2023 1:50 PM |
I can get you on The Apprentice..
by Anonymous | reply 33 | September 8, 2023 1:55 PM |
I text a photo of something special I’d like.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | September 8, 2023 2:00 PM |
"Man, you were incredible last night: you can really take it. I always said six was my lucky number but I don't get to say it very often."
by Anonymous | reply 35 | September 8, 2023 2:19 PM |
Thanks, Dad. Please don't tell Mom.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | September 8, 2023 2:19 PM |
Next time, take your teeth out.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | September 8, 2023 2:28 PM |
Don't worry that itchy burning sensation will quiet down in a month or so.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | September 8, 2023 2:31 PM |
I’d have let you cum inside, but I don’t have room for another passenger.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | September 8, 2023 2:32 PM |
NEXT!
by Anonymous | reply 40 | September 8, 2023 3:00 PM |
I sing "Never Been To Me".
by Anonymous | reply 41 | September 8, 2023 3:21 PM |
Did you preheat the oven?
by Anonymous | reply 42 | September 8, 2023 3:28 PM |
Where's my sandwich?
by Anonymous | reply 43 | September 8, 2023 3:37 PM |
"If you say a word to anyone about this, I'll kill you."
by Anonymous | reply 44 | September 8, 2023 3:38 PM |
My pussy stinks!
by Anonymous | reply 45 | September 8, 2023 3:40 PM |
You can show yourself out.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | September 8, 2023 4:14 PM |
That was fun. Now go back to your own room - I want to be alone!
by Anonymous | reply 47 | September 8, 2023 4:22 PM |
R32 I can see your dirty pillows!
by Anonymous | reply 48 | September 8, 2023 4:28 PM |
R40- Are you a WHORE darlin?
by Anonymous | reply 49 | September 8, 2023 4:28 PM |
Your ass is leaking. Try not to drip on the carpet on your way out.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | September 8, 2023 4:39 PM |
If you've just been fucked by your writing teacher George Saunders, you might want to discuss his work, but he's out the door to his wife.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | September 8, 2023 4:40 PM |
Would you untie me? My legs hurt.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | September 8, 2023 4:40 PM |
Not much until he takes the hood off.
by Anonymous | reply 53 | September 8, 2023 4:41 PM |
Is it in?
by Anonymous | reply 54 | September 8, 2023 4:42 PM |
George also really likes blowjobs in his office.
by Anonymous | reply 55 | September 8, 2023 4:45 PM |
Fag!!
by Anonymous | reply 56 | September 8, 2023 4:50 PM |
I lost my wedding ring while fist fucking you.
by Anonymous | reply 57 | September 8, 2023 4:51 PM |
The dental floss is in on the bottom shelf in the medicine cabinet.
by Anonymous | reply 58 | September 8, 2023 4:57 PM |
I was molested.
by Anonymous | reply 59 | September 8, 2023 4:59 PM |
Don’t let the door hit you in the ass…
as if
I say that was nice, thank you.
by Anonymous | reply 60 | September 8, 2023 5:06 PM |
Now get the fuck out!
by Anonymous | reply 61 | September 8, 2023 5:06 PM |
Enjoy AIDS!
by Anonymous | reply 62 | September 8, 2023 6:21 PM |
Not related but above the joke was crabs. One night i crashed in bed with one of my besties. He had crabs but was afraid to admit it so he let me sleep in his crab laced bed. I got them & had to do the RIT thing. He finally let me know it was his whore ass that gave them to me. I was majorly pissed - now we laugh about it.
by Anonymous | reply 63 | September 8, 2023 6:33 PM |
Deutsche marks or Dollars? American Express will do nicely, thank you!
by Anonymous | reply 64 | September 8, 2023 6:36 PM |
What partner? For tricks, here is my email. For regulars, see you next time.
by Anonymous | reply 65 | September 8, 2023 6:37 PM |
For a fat man, you don't sweat very much.
by Anonymous | reply 66 | September 8, 2023 8:56 PM |
0/10
I don’t mean that about your post, OP. That’s what I say after sex.
by Anonymous | reply 67 | September 8, 2023 9:27 PM |
I always told him how much I loved him and how good me made me feel.
If life transcends death,
Then I will seek for you there.
If not, then there too.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | September 8, 2023 9:30 PM |
Are you still bleeding?
by Anonymous | reply 69 | September 8, 2023 9:31 PM |
If you tell anyone at school, i'll beat your ass.
by Anonymous | reply 70 | September 8, 2023 9:37 PM |
"Years from now when you talk about this - and you will - be kind."
by Anonymous | reply 71 | September 8, 2023 9:44 PM |
NEXT!!!
by Anonymous | reply 72 | September 8, 2023 9:45 PM |
"I can't stop thinking about Tony, wondering where he could be, who he is with, what is he thinking, is he thinking of me, and whether he'll ever return someday."
by Anonymous | reply 73 | September 8, 2023 9:50 PM |
Now I must kill you.
by Anonymous | reply 74 | September 8, 2023 11:37 PM |
Leave the money on the dresser
by Anonymous | reply 75 | September 8, 2023 11:38 PM |
I don’t talk to my hand, do you think I’m mentally ill?
by Anonymous | reply 76 | September 8, 2023 11:38 PM |
You were a great bottom, Senator Graham
by Anonymous | reply 77 | September 8, 2023 11:39 PM |
Get away from me you dirty motherfucker!
by Anonymous | reply 78 | September 8, 2023 11:44 PM |
Now just sign this NDA and you can be on your way.
by Anonymous | reply 79 | September 8, 2023 11:50 PM |
Do you take venmo?
by Anonymous | reply 80 | September 8, 2023 11:57 PM |
I'm sorry my lil' ladybugs offput you so and we were unable to cojoin this evening. Mayhaps another time we can arrange an assignation. I promise the room shall be darker than it was tonight.
by Anonymous | reply 81 | September 9, 2023 1:38 AM |
Don't bother calling the cops. They won't believe you.
by Anonymous | reply 82 | September 9, 2023 1:42 AM |
Leave! NOW!
by Anonymous | reply 83 | September 9, 2023 1:44 AM |
You shot your mouth off, and I showed you what that hole is for.
by Anonymous | reply 84 | September 9, 2023 1:45 AM |
“I know we just met but I have a really good feeling about you. What would you think about moving in together?”
by Anonymous | reply 85 | September 9, 2023 1:46 AM |
You’re not gonna shit right for about a week, but no need to see a doctor. It’ll pass.
by Anonymous | reply 86 | September 9, 2023 1:46 AM |
Where do you keep the turkey meatballs?
by Anonymous | reply 87 | September 9, 2023 1:53 AM |
This place is too small for the both of us.
I know a fabulous realtor…
by Anonymous | reply 88 | September 9, 2023 2:19 AM |
Go - and never darken my towels again!
by Anonymous | reply 89 | September 9, 2023 2:23 AM |
"I'm not running a Bed & Breakfast!"
by Anonymous | reply 90 | September 9, 2023 2:25 AM |
I say “fart and let me see you push it out.” And then I lap it up.
by Anonymous | reply 91 | September 9, 2023 2:27 AM |
Don't talk about me behind my back or it will kill me.
by Anonymous | reply 93 | September 9, 2023 2:44 AM |
I’m sorry, my dick is so large. I hope the bleeding stops soon.
by Anonymous | reply 94 | September 9, 2023 2:45 AM |
And now…a warning.
by Anonymous | reply 95 | September 9, 2023 2:55 AM |
[quote]“I know we just met but I have a really good feeling about you. What would you think about moving in together?”
Lesbian talk.
by Anonymous | reply 96 | September 9, 2023 3:04 AM |
Sorry I have crab and herpes
by Anonymous | reply 97 | September 9, 2023 3:20 AM |
"Please reverse the charges. Love you!" [Click.]
by Anonymous | reply 98 | September 9, 2023 3:26 AM |
I'm going to be sore tomorrow.
by Anonymous | reply 99 | September 9, 2023 3:30 AM |
I’m not Willie Nelson.
by Anonymous | reply 100 | September 9, 2023 3:45 AM |
Thank you.... whoever you are.
by Anonymous | reply 101 | September 9, 2023 3:47 AM |
Oh shit, what’s your name again?
by Anonymous | reply 102 | September 9, 2023 3:50 AM |
Would you put another token in the projector? I want to finish the movie.
by Anonymous | reply 103 | September 9, 2023 4:00 AM |
"Have you ever thought about the advantages of owning a really fine set of encyclopedias?"
by Anonymous | reply 104 | September 9, 2023 4:00 AM |
Let's go again!
by Anonymous | reply 105 | September 9, 2023 4:08 AM |
In the water I'm a very skinny lady.
by Anonymous | reply 106 | September 9, 2023 4:14 AM |
That'll do, pig.
by Anonymous | reply 107 | September 9, 2023 12:12 PM |
"Your wicked temptation will not go unpunished"
by Anonymous | reply 108 | September 9, 2023 12:27 PM |
“You’re money’s on the dresser, Chocolate.”
by Anonymous | reply 109 | September 9, 2023 12:32 PM |
We usually just cuddle. My lover usually sings a great song, I can't remember the name, but it's something like daaa, daannny booon, danny, danny boon.
by Anonymous | reply 110 | September 9, 2023 12:32 PM |
And after he says "thank you," I remind to take care as he makes his way to the exit.
by Anonymous | reply 111 | September 9, 2023 12:35 PM |
After my gentleman caller climaxes following the first round, I tell him “let us have a couple more drinkypoos, then we go again”.
by Anonymous | reply 112 | September 9, 2023 1:09 PM |
Dat’s da suck job!
by Anonymous | reply 113 | September 9, 2023 1:45 PM |
"I didn't get your name.."
by Anonymous | reply 114 | September 9, 2023 1:49 PM |
Oh, Pizza Boy! Don't forget to leave my delivery on your way out.
by Anonymous | reply 115 | September 9, 2023 2:13 PM |
"Sir, this is a Wendy's."
by Anonymous | reply 116 | September 9, 2023 2:38 PM |
I have a Groupon.
by Anonymous | reply 117 | September 9, 2023 2:39 PM |
"Say "Hi" to your mom."
by Anonymous | reply 118 | September 9, 2023 2:40 PM |
What time does mom get home?
by Anonymous | reply 119 | September 9, 2023 2:54 PM |
Best one minute ever
by Anonymous | reply 120 | September 9, 2023 2:59 PM |
That was like pulling it out in a warm room.
by Anonymous | reply 121 | September 9, 2023 3:08 PM |
“And what did that do for the morale of our boys overseas”
by Anonymous | reply 122 | September 9, 2023 3:14 PM |
Oh, all right. Seven's always been my lucky number!
by Anonymous | reply 123 | September 9, 2023 3:42 PM |
"You men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and you're off with the boys to boast and brag."
by Anonymous | reply 124 | September 9, 2023 3:53 PM |
Do you validate parking?
by Anonymous | reply 125 | September 9, 2023 4:51 PM |
I usually pat him on the side of his thigh, up near his ass and say, "Goood girl! Goood girl!"
by Anonymous | reply 126 | September 9, 2023 5:42 PM |
Don't push that out. I want you to keep that deep inside you until it's completely absorbed.
by Anonymous | reply 127 | September 9, 2023 5:59 PM |
"Can you F&F R116 on the way out for recycling that reddit joke again for the 5000th time?"
by Anonymous | reply 128 | September 9, 2023 6:46 PM |
r128 doesn't get the nature of running jokes.
by Anonymous | reply 129 | September 9, 2023 6:59 PM |
In the water I'm a very skinny lady.
by Anonymous | reply 130 | September 9, 2023 7:11 PM |
“I’m taking a shower. Try not to steal any of my shit.”
by Anonymous | reply 131 | September 9, 2023 7:17 PM |
It's not a wig, it's a system, and yes, I should have told you beforehand.
by Anonymous | reply 132 | September 9, 2023 7:18 PM |
Next!
by Anonymous | reply 133 | September 9, 2023 7:20 PM |
You don’ gots the AIDS, do you?”
by Anonymous | reply 134 | September 9, 2023 7:28 PM |
Could you tell that I used to be a woman?
by Anonymous | reply 135 | September 9, 2023 7:41 PM |
"I had no idea that any mere physical experience could be so stimulating!"
by Anonymous | reply 136 | September 9, 2023 7:44 PM |
Well faggot, I'm pretty sure you're pregnant now.
by Anonymous | reply 137 | September 9, 2023 7:46 PM |
Git off me Pa, yer crushing my smokes.
by Anonymous | reply 138 | September 9, 2023 7:47 PM |
What’s your name?
by Anonymous | reply 139 | September 9, 2023 7:52 PM |
[quote]doesn't get the nature of running jokes.
It's overused.
by Anonymous | reply 140 | September 9, 2023 7:55 PM |
What's your name again?
Again?
He didn't tell you in the first place!
by Anonymous | reply 141 | September 9, 2023 8:09 PM |
Cigarette?
by Anonymous | reply 142 | September 9, 2023 8:20 PM |
Good job.
by Anonymous | reply 143 | September 9, 2023 8:26 PM |
Me suckie suckie long time Mitchie. You go bed now.
by Anonymous | reply 144 | September 9, 2023 8:52 PM |
That will cost you $50 fat old man.
by Anonymous | reply 145 | September 9, 2023 9:11 PM |
This isn't a bed and breakfast.
by Anonymous | reply 146 | September 9, 2023 9:49 PM |
Pull my finger.
by Anonymous | reply 147 | September 9, 2023 9:49 PM |
Need a towel to clean your face?
by Anonymous | reply 148 | September 9, 2023 9:50 PM |
Pull your caftan down Antonio. I finished.
by Anonymous | reply 149 | September 9, 2023 9:58 PM |
What's that smell?
by Anonymous | reply 150 | September 9, 2023 11:25 PM |
I might be allergic to your seeing eye dog.
by Anonymous | reply 151 | September 9, 2023 11:31 PM |
Spearmint or fruit?
by Anonymous | reply 152 | September 10, 2023 5:05 AM |
Would you like a free personality test?
by Anonymous | reply 153 | September 10, 2023 7:02 PM |
You have the nicest dick I’ve ever been with. You are so hot. I’m gonna make you cum again.
by Anonymous | reply 154 | September 10, 2023 7:09 PM |
Be a lamb and don’t cash the check until next month.
by Anonymous | reply 155 | September 11, 2023 11:16 AM |
Who loves ya baby?
by Anonymous | reply 156 | September 11, 2023 3:11 PM |
Now get in there and make me some potato salad!
by Anonymous | reply 157 | September 11, 2023 3:31 PM |
Tinker Bell Ladybug, good rim & bj; now get over here & I’ll slap your nasty, ugly face a few more times. You love that, don’t you?
by Anonymous | reply 158 | September 11, 2023 3:48 PM |
Well, I never in all my life!
by Anonymous | reply 159 | September 12, 2023 12:07 AM |
I’m really a men
by Anonymous | reply 160 | September 18, 2023 10:02 PM |
Do you want to shower first, or shall I?
by Anonymous | reply 161 | September 18, 2023 10:11 PM |
The best line I've ever read was in an article about men who hire prostitutes.
"I don't pay people to have sex with me. I pay them so they'll leave afterwards."
by Anonymous | reply 162 | September 18, 2023 11:15 PM |
Keep the tip.
by Anonymous | reply 163 | September 19, 2023 2:07 AM |
R162 that’s scarily accurate lol.
by Anonymous | reply 164 | September 19, 2023 2:53 AM |
Welcome to the world of HIV!
by Anonymous | reply 165 | September 19, 2023 2:59 AM |
I ask for cab fare.
by Anonymous | reply 166 | September 19, 2023 3:12 AM |
Don't let the door hit ya on the way out.
by Anonymous | reply 167 | September 19, 2023 3:42 AM |
Move it along, toots!
by Anonymous | reply 168 | September 19, 2023 10:52 PM |
I want sexy talk suggestions please
by Anonymous | reply 169 | September 19, 2023 11:28 PM |
Can I also eat your boogers?
by Anonymous | reply 170 | September 20, 2023 12:21 AM |
Just smoke copious amounts of pot, silly.
by Anonymous | reply 171 | September 20, 2023 4:02 AM |
"Wow. In that robe you look like Vincent "The Chin" Gigante!"
by Anonymous | reply 172 | September 20, 2023 4:18 AM |
“Let us pray.”
by Anonymous | reply 173 | September 20, 2023 7:43 AM |
"Don't quit your day job."
by Anonymous | reply 174 | September 20, 2023 2:50 PM |
Best one minute I ever have
by Anonymous | reply 175 | September 21, 2023 11:06 PM |
I warned you.
by Anonymous | reply 176 | September 21, 2023 11:12 PM |
You got blood on my dick.
by Anonymous | reply 177 | September 21, 2023 11:14 PM |
That's sixty-five extra for the snowball, gummy.
by Anonymous | reply 178 | September 21, 2023 11:17 PM |
What was your name, again?
by Anonymous | reply 179 | September 21, 2023 11:18 PM |
Never mind, I don’t care.
by Anonymous | reply 180 | September 21, 2023 11:19 PM |
Gesundheit.
by Anonymous | reply 181 | September 21, 2023 11:27 PM |
Now go to bed! I’ve got to be at work early in the morning!
by Anonymous | reply 182 | September 21, 2023 11:30 PM |
Should I call you an Uber ?
by Anonymous | reply 183 | September 21, 2023 11:34 PM |
Mitchie, I suckie suckie your thingy ten minutes. You owe me 20 dollar.
by Anonymous | reply 184 | September 22, 2023 12:43 AM |
YOU AGAIN??
by Anonymous | reply 185 | September 22, 2023 12:47 AM |
I hate myself for loving you.
by Anonymous | reply 186 | September 22, 2023 11:40 AM |
Get in there and start cookin’
by Anonymous | reply 187 | September 24, 2023 8:00 PM |
R178 what is a Snowball Gummy?
by Anonymous | reply 188 | September 24, 2023 8:03 PM |
Why do I suddenly want a chili dog?
by Anonymous | reply 189 | September 24, 2023 8:38 PM |
Put the cash in the dresser
Don’t let the screen door hit…
by Anonymous | reply 190 | September 24, 2023 8:40 PM |
Well, at least we tried.
by Anonymous | reply 191 | September 24, 2023 9:02 PM |
We'll always have Cleveland ...
by Anonymous | reply 192 | September 24, 2023 9:13 PM |
Chew your corn.
by Anonymous | reply 193 | September 24, 2023 10:27 PM |
I'm gonna log off now.
by Anonymous | reply 194 | September 24, 2023 10:41 PM |
Get lost!
Like Maude to Archie when he told her to get out of his chair.
by Anonymous | reply 195 | September 25, 2023 4:40 AM |
What just happened
by Anonymous | reply 196 | September 25, 2023 4:56 AM |
I TELL HIM HES QUITE A GOOD FELLOW AND TO DROP BY ANY OLD TIME.
BLESS,
by Anonymous | reply 197 | September 25, 2023 5:29 AM |
So… what’s your name?
by Anonymous | reply 198 | September 25, 2023 5:45 AM |
Sorry - I just saw that R179 beat me to the joke.
This is why you should ALWAYS read the entire thread before posting.
by Anonymous | reply 199 | September 25, 2023 5:46 AM |
What does a man who is in complete ecstasy and 100% sexually satiated say after sex?
I didn't think any of you knew...
by Anonymous | reply 200 | September 25, 2023 8:39 AM |
Generally, "Thank you, menluvinguy!"
by Anonymous | reply 201 | September 25, 2023 8:40 AM |
I'll never regain control of those sphincters again...
by Anonymous | reply 202 | September 25, 2023 8:55 AM |
I’m usually left speechless.
by Anonymous | reply 203 | September 25, 2023 9:58 AM |
“Sorry about the shit stain”.
by Anonymous | reply 204 | September 25, 2023 9:59 AM |
God this thread is truly disgusting and I can’t stop laughing.
by Anonymous | reply 205 | September 25, 2023 2:04 PM |
You can put your legs down now.
by Anonymous | reply 206 | September 25, 2023 3:55 PM |
Stop crying.
by Anonymous | reply 207 | September 25, 2023 7:58 PM |
"Thanks, would you like to cum, too?"
by Anonymous | reply 208 | September 25, 2023 8:12 PM |
“What was your name again?”
by Anonymous | reply 209 | September 25, 2023 8:14 PM |