Planning my mother's 80th bday

No cutlery? Finger foods? What is she, six years old?

Take her to McDonald's. And on the way home, stop at Costco to pick out a coffin.

She's 80, she's earned the right to celebrate any way she wants. Though I guess there will be no cake. Maybe petit fours?

How about a stack of donuts? Mini egg rolls? Jello shots? Joints?

She doesn't want unnecessary cleaning having to be done. R1. Do you not eat with your hands? These are not messy foods. A simple plate and napkins will suffice.

Of course there's a cake and we will of course have forks for that.

[quote] I priced fajitas/Cajun for the amount of people and it's outrageous.

Amount of people? Wouldn't Taco Bell and Popeyes suffice for your kind?

Joints and jello shots will be supplied after guests leave and the younger family members stay up.

No, R5, we are not those people but we aren't pretentious either. It's a casual thing.

Get a bunch of toothpicks and serve a variety of wontons with dipping sauces. Teriyaki chicken skewers (or peanut sauce) would be good too. Hell, sliders too. Prime rib without a fork? That's just weird and stupid.

Curious R5 where you are because fajitas and Cajun are very popular here and very, very popular on catering menus.

I'm in Houston, a place where both fajitas and Cajun are popular. But I am one of those Texans who knows the difference between AMOUNT and NUMBER-- and when to use which word.

Umm, R7 prime rib on silver dollar rolls is a tiny sandwich and seen at upscale corporate functions in my experience. Last time I went to a Christmas party at the museum of fine arts they had a prime rib station with rolls.

Houston here too R9.

I'm adoring the snarky comments but I thought DL would have better advice. Alas the DL of yore is gone.

You can never go wrong with pigs in a blanket.

What about barbeque?

I agree r13, no matter what the event or venue, pigs in a blanket are always the first to go.

OP, if people will be dropping in and out you have to worry about keeping everything warm and/or not let cold food sit out too long. Quite a conundrum.

I have done afternoon tea for my elderly mother and relatives for the last few years. It always seems to go down well.

Warming trays are in the outdoor kitchen R15. Depending on the weather we may set up under the outdoor kitchen pavilion but the dining table inside may be used for food if the weather is too hot.

[quote]Prime rib without a fork? That's just weird and stupid.

Noooo, we used to make little sandwiches with prime rib on dinner rolls when I worked at a restaurant in college. Sometimes it was the only thing I ate that day. They were fantastic.

R17 Outdoor kitchen pavilion?

Quit bullshitting. You're going to head down to the public park at dawn to try and grab the one picnic shelter that doesn't have holes in the roof or swastikas carved into the tables, and then you'll cook up cheap hot dogs on a dirty steel grill.

R19. Not everyone is as trashy as you apparently are.

Take her to McDonald’s drive-thru

R19 my brother's house is very nice with a pool and kitchen/bar pavilion the previous owner added. This is not unheard of down here.

What’s “silver dollar rolls”, precious? What’s “silver dollar rolls”?

What about croissants from Magnol? They might be able to do something special for Your Kind.

It's a wonderful thing you're doing, OP. Here's hoping that, no matter what your decisions are, everything goes over well.

R23, seriously?

I've never heard of silver dollar rolls, either, but I'm assuming they're tiny rolls.

What time of day is the party?

The food is not important, it is the PEOPLE.

If you don’t have it catered, get a couple of servers and cleaners to keep things moving so you don’t have to worry about it.

R27 it's only officially from 4-6 pm though the family will be going until we pass out.

Am I the only one who thinks it doesn’t sound very special for a mother’s 80th birthday party? It sounds a little like you want to get it over with.

Give the old folks some G/I distress.

Hire a stripper.

R31 it's what she wants.

R33 she might like that.

R34 I guess it depends on how much fun some of the people are or if you have any kind of speeches or presentation planned, assuming your mom is in good health. It just sounds kind of dry, as you describe it, but that doesn’t mean it will be.

She said, her words, "none of that bullshit singing happy bday". She just wants food, alcoholic drinks and a good time.

Pudding.

Food, alcoholic drinks and a good time? Give it three hours. Some people will be dropping in late.

Everyone loves Swedish meatballs! Eat with toothpicks. Let’s us know how bday girl enjoyed here fete, OP!

Is your mom like this old lady?

For a bunch of so called homos, you boys sure don’t act like it. 41 replies until someone mentions the ULTIMATE guide to entertaining and party planning?!?!?!?’bnb

[quote] R23, seriously?

[quote] I've never heard of silver dollar rolls, either,

Seriously. Based on the name I assume they’re the size of silver dollars. Beyond that I know nothing.

R43 I never head of them, either.

I’m assuming your brother is single, gay or divorced? Usually wives are happy to plan things like this.

*heard

No he's married but his wife wants nothing to do with the planning beyond lending her house.

If it's 4:00 -6:00 p.m., I'm assuming it's a Saturday or Sunday. Also assuming that there will be older people there.

Hence, that's a time when people are hungry. Older people tend to eat dinner early.

Also, if you're serving alcohol and people are going to be driving home, I'd make sure there was a lot of food.

I realize that Mom wants finger foods, but you also have to think about the guests.

OP, initially I was thinking 4 - 6 would get you off the hook because no one would expect dinner but r47 make a good point that some of the guests may expect dinner at that hour. Also plan for many of them to stay past 6:00.

What’s the theme?

Not sure R48. I'll put flowers on the tables. It's not til october.

You need a theme, OP, and the food can support the theme.

Strippers.

A-Fib is a lovely theme for octogenarians., R50

Does she turn tricks?

Luby's chopped steak cut into squares, fried okra and mashed potatoes.

Definitely not R54.

Chicken strips from Chick-Fil-A. Done.

To be clear my mother is still spry and likes her wine. So do her friends. She gardens and just adopted an abandoned Belgian Malinois, which worries the hell out of us. The damn puppy is already a horse with feet the size of saucers. These aren't toothless old coots despite their age.

Get cheese platters from Dairy Maids. They also sell wines to pair with them.

Every mother should have a gay son, except my mother.

4-6 is happy hour, so do a selection of happy hour food like wings, kebabs, mini tacos, quesadillas, etc.

For the family staying for dinner pick something you can make the day before and reheat. And make twice as much as you think you will need. My parents (80s) often invite friends for cocktails and they don’t leave. It’s not the same people who overstay, they all do. So now my mom usually has a lasagna and a salad after heavy appetizers.

[quote] just adopted an abandoned Belgian Malinois

Is he a rescue dog?

Aren't you the same OP who posted about his mother falling off the counter? and hurt her foot or something? This old hag needs to calm down.

No R62 I must have missed that but the image has me giggling.

There are such things as plastic utensils that people might like to use.