Signs You Know You Are Getting Old.

I have nose hair issues

Speaking of hairs, I now get the occasional crazy long eyebrow. I'm not getting unibrow at all, just some oddly long individual eyebrow hairs. Help me.

You consider grocery shopping a social event now.

You start putting on the closed captioning more

R2 Scissors are an indispensable grooming tool for the older gay person. Problem, sometimes, is: you need to take your glasses off to trim you eyebrows and without your glasses you "miss" some of the longer hairs.

See... getting old is just an opportunity for new rituals and practices. Anointing your feet not with scented oils, but with anti-fungal products!

You find yourself taking your glasses from room to room in case you need them.

R5, the eye brow/eye glasses thing I could have written. So true.

Showers are now a physical challenge, shaving my legs causes my back to hurt. Walking to the mailbox is my daily workout. I no longer care about my looks, as long as I am clean. I find myself playing the confused little elder when it is convenient or I want something I'm not supposed to receive in stores. ( Using an expired coupon)

You also consider grocery shopping your exercise for the day. Especially if it is a big supermarket. Walking the store and then shlepping the stuff home and putting it away takes it out of you.

Friends used to call at midnight asking if you wanted to go out and you were all for it. Clubbing and then a burger afterwards.

These days, friends call at 7PM asking to go out and you're like "Now? I'm watching Project Runway All Stars"

They give you the senior rate without asking you anything.

They don’t mean to be insulting. They just figure you must know you look old. You look old to them for sure!

You go through all the names of your nieces and nephews before getting the right one.

Your nephews and nieces are now having their own children.

I'm so old, "clubbing" has never been a verb to me. I'm having the same eyebrow hair/scissor issues as r5 and r6 mention. Showers are difficult, too (spinal stenosis and other arthritis). But the event that really let me know I'm old came about 12 years ago, the first time a young person offered me her seat on the bus.

You start eating dinner at 4:00 pm not because you want the early bird special but because you sleep better if you don't eat after 5.

One drink and you fall asleep.

But then you're up and down all night, peeing.

R14 serious question have you had your prostate checked?

Once I come from from work at around 5 or 6 pm, I'm in for the night. No heading back out, especially when it's dark out because my night vision isn't so good.

Getting down on the floor to look for something or scrub a tough spot on the floor has become a challenge. It's not so much getting down on all fours. It's getting back up that's the problem.

Tuning in to some music awards show and not knowing a single person performing or out on the red carpet. And not even caring.

Used to love staying up all night but can't do it anymore. Must. Sleep.

Birdsong at dawn. It used to signal the end of a party. Now I wake up before they start singing.

Your leg hair falls out in your 50s.

Regularly, R15, with no signs of problems. The doctor made me feel just great when he finally said "you're old" as the diagnosis.

I’m 52. Since losing some weight (15lbs) I’ve noticed that I’m far less sore in the morning, less winded going up and down stairs, less prone to fatigue after gardening/etc. It’s amazing how seemingly harmless extra pounds hold people down and we think “Oh, I’m just getting old”. Bullshit. It’s like carrying around a big bag of dog food all the time.

My dad is in his early 80s and lifts fairly heavy weights almost every day to stay fit. He even has a little gym set up in his garage in the retirement village where he lives. I asked him if keeping his car outside in the winter to accommodate this little gym was annoying/difficult and he said, “No. It forces my lazy ass to move more because I have to clear snow and ice off it”. He was actually really fat when he was my age and decided he wanted to do better for himself. And he has ever since.

So lose a little weight, elder gays, and keep your nose and ear hair trimmed! And for fucks sake please don’t dye your hair at home when it starts graying all over. There’s nothing sillier looking than an older man with an aging face and monochromatic dark hair.

You can't remember the names of the stars in your favorite movies.

We have a new Office Trainee at work who started this past Monday. She was born in 2004, the year I started at the establishment and at a similar entry level position. Boy, did that make me feel old!

You walk into a room and can't remember why you went there.

You buy the three-pack of readers at Costco so you don't have to go looking for your glasses on the other side of the house, and then you stash them strategically: a pair in the kitchen, a pair in each bathroom.

R20 great. I completely understand.

Dreading a shower because it has become an ORDEAL now. It's also cold.

Having a serious lack of interest in sex. Not just participating, I mean even watching.

Those old days.....fap, fap, fap all day long.

I fart more.

I used the frail and befuddled elder routine to board a plane last weekend during the “for those who need a little extra time” slot.

I have no clue who 75% of the popular singers are.

I slather myself in SPF 30 before going out into the sun.

I give a wide berth to other cars on the road and never tailgate. I'm almost never in a hurry.

I groan 'Oy!' as I stoop down to pick something off of the floor.

Events of 20 or 30 years ago seem like yesterday.

Frantically looking for phone while talking to a friend on My Phone. Uggg

I can't hear as well.

I can't see to drive after dark.

I have about half the energy I used to have.

The cumulative effect on my body of my many past injuries is becoming worse.

Every three or four days I have to pull whiskers out of my chin.

I too have no hair on my legs and never have to shave them (or my armpits, for that matter).

I have no sex drive at all. Every couple of months, I might masturbate -- or not.

Little things annoy me, and things I once would have looked forward to I either don't get excited about or I actually dread.

And I have no more ambition. That one probably bothers me more than anything. Bettering the person I am now and the exciting plans I had for the future, I simply don't care about anymore.

But as I've been saying for many years now, life is funny. You just never know.

R2, I get the long eyebrow hair, too. It also only stays dark as long for as long as the other hairs, then it turns white. I pluck that sucker whenever it shows up.

Hairline is also receding, except for a few stragglers that insist on still growing and now have to be shaved a few times per week.

You think it happened 5 years ago but it happened 18 years ago.

I sound like a wounded farm animal now because of chronic pain. Everytime I have to bend down, get up, really just move at all. Grunting in pain all day.

My night vision was already bad, starting from my 20s.

My knees are starting to bother me when walking downstairs.

My night vision is very bad now too. I will not drive at night anymore because of it. Not that it's an issue when you go to bed at 7:30 PM. 😆

You know when you sign up for an online account and they ask for your date of birth and you have to scroll down a long menu until you land on your year of birth? That makes me feel old.

Also, not knowing or caring about who the new Hollywood stars or pop singers are. I used to love gossip when I was younger, now I don't care and only read about Johnny Depp because he was a crush from my youth and it's interesting to see what a trainwreck he's become. Also, I can't believe he's actually 60.

Apparently, Tom Holland and Timotee Chalamet are the new Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp. I don't see the attraction.

Now I know why they say travel when you are young and I am glad that I did. Now it's just such a hassle.

Needing reading glasses seemingly overnight. I can’t even read a fucking medicine bottle without them.

When, for the first time in your life, the words, "Who's you Mom and Dad?" comes out of your mouth when introduced to a kid or younger adults.

Small towners, or those visiting the small town they grew-up in and moved away from, know what I mean.

[quote]You start putting on the closed captioning more

Yes - I can't understand accents so easily these days. I'm from London and the other day there was someone with a strong London accent on TV and even that I couldn't follow.

R39- I don't believe I have been interested in new music since Nirvana. I have no idea who these celebrities are, the name of new shows, new music. I have only watched OTA channels for the past six or so years and that is mostly old reruns. I always told myself that I would never be out of touch with current events and when it comes to news and politics I am well informed. Anything else and I am clueless.

New music completely disinterests me and has since I hit my mid 20s. I got old so fast.

I have to take pictures of everything so I can zoom in - medicine bottles, small text on signs, menus, etc.

I wish I would think to do that more often, r46.

age: 60

The extraordinary noises I make as I go up the stairs...especially as I reach the top.

I always considered myself a fast walker, now everyone just seems to glide past me (thank God for electric bikes - they're given me a new lease of life).

I'm house hunting and all the things I have to consider for the not too distant future. There's no way I'm buying a walk-up. Is there a room for a live-in nurse?

Sitting in cafes thinking "I'm the oldest person in here".

Sitting ANYWHERE thinking "I'm the oldest person in here".

When, it finally dawns on you, after many viewings, that really isn't a happy ending to the movie "Picnic".

You actually prefer to do things by yourself.

You realize you really aren't on the minds of other people as much as your egotistical, or, paranoid ass thinks you are.

That, while I myself am lucky enough to still love the November and December Holidays seasons, you finally comprehend that, yes, lots of people really do have reasonable, legitimate, often painful reasons why they dread that time.

R21- Like that SENILE B ACTOR - Ronald Reagan.

R24- BIG DEAL

I've needed to wear my glasses ALL DAY EVERYDAY since I was 22 years old.

I need them for driving, reading, walking- everything.

Pfft, r51, I was in bifocals at five.

I have to move in three days and I am sitting here on DL, unable to pack. I do not understand why I have no energy. It could be long covid, idk. But I just can't seem to bring myself to pack up and leave this house that I called home for ten years. Moving is exhausting and I will not be doing it again in this life. When I leave my new home it will be in a damn body bag.

R48- You can always get a STAIR chair. My uncle had one installed for my father who didn't want it at all then eventually it a pleasure for him to get upstairs to go to bed at night and come down in the morning.

You can get movers who'll pack for you, R53.

R51- Which reminds me , why in the hell can't you get pharmacy reading glasses over 4.00 strength? That just isn't cutting it anymore. 👓

When working crossword puzzles you have no problem with the answer to "Nick & Nora's Dog" but you have NO CLUE about the names of current movie or pop music stars.

I cry more easily now.

I have lost all my body hair except for the crotch area. The Great Disappearing Eyebrows are disturbing.

I remember less of what I've read.

I never get down on the floor without planning what I'm gonna grab hold of to get up.

[quote]Events of 20 or 30 years ago seem like yesterday.

Yes.

Typical conversation:

"Was that as long as 20 years ago? NO! It was 30 years ago! OMG!"

[quote]You buy the three-pack of readers at Costco so you don't have to go looking for your glasses on the other side of the house, and then you stash them strategically: a pair in the kitchen, a pair in each bathroom.

And then you forget where you "stashed" them . . .

[quote]I remember less of what I've read.

I read whole books and don't remember a single thing about them, almost immediately.

I actually turned my air conditioner DOWN the other day because it was too chilly.

[quote][R48]- You can always get a STAIR chair.

Thank you. I was aware of their existence.

[QUOTE]I read whole books and don't remember a single thing about them, almost immediately.

That's one of the reasons I don't read new books anymore - I don't remember a single thing about the previous chapters I've read when I go to read a new one (even if it's the next night).

I get really, really happy when I hear a new song on the radio and really like it.

[quote]That's one of the reasons I don't read new books anymore - I don't remember a single thing about the previous chapters I've read when I go to read a new one (even if it's the next night).

Right and the characters' names - Johnnie walked into the room (which one was fucking Johnnie?)

[quote]I get really, really happy when I hear a new song on the radio and really like it.

I don't know how you can listen long enough to hear that needle in a haystack.

Is it just because I am older but do all of the new celebrities seem ugly and uninteresting? Don't even get me me started on today's music ' talent ". Ugh! Celebrities use to be fabulous and fascinating, clean, mostly well dressed. I use to read gossip magazines cover to cover. Now? Meh.

[quote]Is it just because I am older but do all of the new celebrities seem ugly and uninteresting?

Maybe the fact everything is aimed at the young or the stupid (& often both) has something to do with it.

When my brother emailed me a photo of his first grandson and I realised "I'm a GREAT Uncle!"

What about cataract surgery? Can some of you posters get cataract surgery? It can be a game changer.

[quote]Can some of you posters get cataract surgery?

what on earth are you talking about "Can you get it?"

Will no one think of the gray pubic hair?

I will honey

You spend two hours in a bar and NO ONE looks at you.

When background music in supermarkets, etc. stops being Muzak and becomes the soundtrack of your youth and the music you listen to when you're home alone.

Nothing like shopping to Cyndi Lauper or Spandau Ballet and realizing they now own the space once occupied by 101 Strings and Guy Lombardo.

When you make a reference to someone well known to your generation and the younger party goes "who?" Yes, it just happened when I stupidly made a Zsa Zsa Gabor joke.

My grandma just passed away at her home on Wednesday night. Her dog and I were right there with her. I’m 45. Her other grandkids are my 50 year old brother and a 55 year old cousin. When I wake up, I have to remind myself that she’s gone. Psychologically, there was something about having a grandparent that, no matter how old I got , I still didn’t feel quite grown up— or no, that’s imprecise. Having a grandma, particularly a relatively active one, gave me the illusion of having a bigger time horizon than I actually do.

I have other ‘feeling old’ contributions, but right now I’m doing all those things one has to do when one dies. This is all I can think of for now.

Writing long, tedious and boring posts about my grocery shopping on The DL.

I can never recall the names of various restaurants/bars in my big city. It's always "You know the one with the big brunch" "That one where that guy fell down the stairs" "We saw whats-her-face there one time, remember?"

When I make insulting comments about the Hadid sister “ modeling” on Instagram some smart ass always remarks about how old I am…I tell, just wait haaaa

My friends' parents have started dying on a fairly regular basis.

Random aches and pains that appear out of the blue and don't go away.

All of the music stars you grew up idolizing are dead or dying.

You hope that doing Wordle every day will stave off cognitive decline.

Whenever I stand up - after sitting for a long time, like at a restaurant - I need to stay there frozen without moving for a few moments until my limbs are ready to engage in walking. My friends and I call it the "Tin Woodman Syndrome." Your joints feel like they need lubrication before you dare take a step.

Debbie Harry is 78 yrs old - older than Dolly Parton

R78- Those are VERY old grandkids for the grandmother to still be alive. My grandmother died when I was 24 years old and she was about 94 years old.

Not feeling quite grown up is if your parents are still alive not your grandparents. All of my other grandparents died before I was born.

My mother died when I was 15 years old. My father died August 2020. I was going to write last August but then I realized it occurred in 2020 which will be three years next month.

R85- Jeannie aka Barbara Eden is 91 years old.

Your favorite activity is sleeping 😴

You have a half dozen specialist doctors in addition to your regular GP.

[quote] [R78]- Those are VERY old grandkids for the grandmother to still be alive. My grandmother died when I was 24 years old and she was about 94 years old.

Not R78, but women started having kids a lot younger back then. There's a 41-year age difference between my grandma and her oldest grandchild (my brother).

You know you're getting old when....

You are posting on Datalounge.

Realizing some of my favorite albums from the 1980s are now reaching 40th anniversary. They feel no more than 20-25 years ago.

Shopping at Walmart and hearing Haddaway's "What Is Love" playing on the in-store MuZak.

This reminded me of when I was a kid and stores would be playing mom and dad's old Top 40.

I've heard Blondie, Talking Heads, and The Cure playing at Ralphs (Kroger) as well.

I’m old. 51. But I like new music and I can always find something new to like. I get excited when I find a new artist that I really enjoy.

I know I’m an outlier but I’m never the oldest guy at a concert. There’s always someone older than me there. Usually accompanying their teenage children, but I’m still not the oldest. 😜

Everything posted on DL is shitty and annoying.

Same with me r54 I’m 50. Love every new music Friday.

[quote]Everything posted on DL is shitty and annoying.

It is what we made it.

[quote]My grandma just passed away at her home on Wednesday night. Her dog and I were right there with her.

Did you inherit her dog, r78?

[quote]You find yourself taking your glasses from room to room in case you need them.

Or keep a pair in every room.

I hated wearing glasses growing up, but I guess as an adult, there is an advantage to not being able to take them off. If you can’t take them off, you can’t misplace them.

When you call other gay men she. "She's such a cunt."

When you go to the gym during "old people's hours" and really enjoy the music that they're playing.

I start one of these Signs You Know You Are Getting Old threads every 6 months.

[quote]I start one of these Signs You Know You Are Getting Old threads every 6 months.

Thank you, gurl.

R104 you’re welcome!

I absolutely loved reading everyone’s post. I can relate to almost every post. Now, I do not feel so alone and appreciate there are many others in my safe shoes! Life is definitely an interesting journey. 😉

R105 I am OP.

I am having trouble remembering people by name…

[quote]I start one of these Signs You Know You Are Getting Old threads every 6 months.

How old is you, gurl?

(I can talk in olde fashioned DL-lingo with the eldergays and I love it)

Shopping tip for the eldergaze: You can get boxes of five pairs of readers through Amazon for $13-15 so you can have a pair everywhere in the house, car, etc.

A single pair at Walgreens is $20.

You have to make lists to remember things.

I still find new (old, but new to me) songs I like on Spotify but I don't remember words to new songs anymore. Whereas I know the words to a thousand songs from the past.

It’s Saturday night, I’m in bed at 8:20 watching $100 000 Pyramid and on the DL.

I’m an elder gay cliché.

I talk to my teddy bear.

[quote] You have to make lists to remember things.

And then you have to remember to bring the list with you ...

and then not lose it somewhere!

& you can't even read you're own writing after you've battled with your coat and bag to find your glasses.

There was once a TV documentary about elderly drivers on British TV. It was SO funny. One woman who clearly HATED being old, kept saying "Where's my fucking stick?" and then driving away with her stick on the car roof.

Hey, R116! Any chance of posting a link to that documentary? Would love to save it for when I need cheering up.

TIA!

Here you are, R117 - I even found the exact scene I was talking about.

R94- I'm the opposite of you. Even when I was young in the 1980's ( a teenager) I HATED new music. I only listened to music from the mid 1960's to the early 1970's.

[quote]Even when I was young in the 1980's ( a teenager) I HATED new music. I only listened to music from the mid 1960's to the early 1970's.

Me too!...but I still liked some stuff up until about 1981.

I hated the synthesisers and drum machines in the 80s and the ghastly poncey pop stars.

R108 I am 53, but per my orthopedic surgeon my MRI reflects an 80+ year old. Lots of surgery, etc. So I am a hot mess!

R121- All over?

What issues do you have?

Oh, R116. Thank you! That was brilliant. Not what I’d expected at all. But I loved it. If I can muster the same wit, wisdom, and dignity (if I should live so long), I’ll be grateful.

R105 same not safe.

Gurl, too many. I would sound cray cray if I shared everything. Let’s just say I have had 28 surgeries. I just met with the surgeon to have a chest/rib reconstruction for broken and dislocated ribs. I have been dealing with this issue since 18. I have very rare diseases difficult to diagnose. Most doctors have not even heard of them and because of this I suffered a very long arduous journey. But, I’m still standing. I enjoy DL and sometimes I am on it too much. It makes me smile 😊

R124 they are removing 4 ribs too. Scary. But we all have shit we deal with… don’t we. We all have stories that could break each others hearts. I just break ribs. 😉

When I was a kid ca. 1980 I liked this commercial.

Now I am one of these old birds.

Talk about hair in different places reminds me of the hilarious scene from the British series, "Cucumber" about the dreaded cock hair!

Six gay guys are at a funeral and start talking about getting older ....

[quote]When you call other gay men she. "She's such a cunt."

Well sometimes she IS!!

R126 & R127 funny. I loved those videos.

The nail on your pinkie toe becomes your enemy.

Why is the pinkie toenail the enemy? Tight shoes?

Cutting it R131.

What's so hard about cutting it, though? Is the nail turned under?

[quote]What's so hard about cutting it, though? Is the nail turned under?

Not r130 here but I can attest that it loses its curved "moon" shape and turns into a sharp thing like the point of a spade. Cutting it just results in two sharp points.

The lovely black gaps between my teeth at the gum line make me grateful I wear a KN95 mask.

Masks also serve as a sort of jaw bra; I’m developing hound dog syndrome where it feels like my nose and cheeks are sliding down..

Also, my dick stays significantly wider in a flaccid state and I’m at an age where I think this is simply cruel.

[quote]Also, my dick stays significantly wider in a flaccid state and I’m at an age where I think this is simply cruel.

Huh. That’s weird. Starting at about 48, mine just got 4” longer, wider, and veinier. Nobody told me THAT was gonna happen!

Which sucks because I was already getting complaints about it’s excessive length and girth. ☹️

R135 omg, I laughed so hard “hound dog syndrome” a lot of people think a gap between someone’s teeth is quite sexy. Check out Lauren Hutton ⬇️

I do weird things (weird even for Datalounge.

I met my best friend in1978 in Junior high school.

That even if we met in 1938 it would now be 1983 already. Which shows how long ago 1978 is.

R138 I’m a little lost? Maybe try again.

I hate it when I type so fast and do not proof or autocorrect kicks in. Then others really let me know. Lol.

R16, Ditto to everything!

When young people’s fashion looks hideous. Teenage girls think they look great. I see their big baggy mom jeans and think they are dressed like homeless people.

[quote]When young people’s fashion looks hideous

LOL!! One of the funnier conversations I ever had with a boyfriend was right after we moved into a new apartment that overworked a club next-door. And there was a whole long line of young women standing outside. And he was staring out the window saying “what’s going on! Are they all dressed up for a costume party? Why are they all dressed like that?”

And I took one look out the window and said to him “Uh… those are just clothes. That’s how kid’s dress.”

When your with your "old" friends and someone ALWAYS brings up constipation. And everybody has a remedy. And then you hear "my god were old".

I'm quite content to stay home and not see anyone.

Yes, R98, I inherited her dog— an adorable and very stout Shih tzu named Dot.

I thought of something: I felt old when I started getting out of the recliner but just standing up and stepping around it rather than pushing the footrest down— why is that such a herculaean task?

[quote]I am having trouble remembering people by name…

I can't remember my own fucking name sometimes.

I stay up late on Saturday nights watching gardening videos on YouTube. I used to be out on the dancefloor.

When someone dies at 59 you think that's young.

Whether it’s a plane, or a theater, I choose my seats based on being able to get up to use the restroom without having to disrupt other people.

Realizing Star Wars’ release in 1977 was closer to Gone with the Wind than it is to today. I wonder now if kids now view the original Star Wars as a ‘really old movie’ in the same way.

R148- It may not be young but it’s young to die.

When, decades, ago you and your friends were running to leave a fun, raucous, loud party because a neighbor called the cops, to now being the neighbor who calls the cops thereby generating in young people same running behavior.

In, of all party places, Madison, WI

R141– When I was young in the 1980s I thought young people fashions were absolutely hideous. Especially on girls stuff frizzy permed hair and a men’s skanky mullet haircut.

You can’t be bothered with contact lens anymore, it’s easier to just wear glasses

Buying a large bag of prunes at Costco, you know, for reasons.

[quote]You can’t be bothered with contact lens anymore, it’s easier to just wear glasses

I decided that when I was in my twenties. I hated contacts. I had (I think) the first iteration of soft contacts, and wearing them made me feel I had scabs on my eyeballs. I lost one in the bed of someone I'd gone home with on NYE 1980-81, and started wearing my glasses again as soon as I got home.

Thankfully, I have always liked wearing glasses, including the way I look in them.

Something that has happened to me in the last few years. When someone in my general age range dies, I'm always curious about how they died and for some reason articles aren't printing the cause of death like they used to and it drives me crazy.

LOVE this thread!

I totally relate to many of the posts. I was just thinking about store music the other day (as many of you have mentioned). I'm always pleased when I go to:

Shop Rite

WaWa

CVS

and they're playing music of my (misguided) youth. I often find myself bobbing my head and singing under my breath! It makes going to those places almost bearable.

Another sign I'm getting old, I deeply appreciate the proper grammar and sentence structure, for the most part, of the replies on this thread.

(Now watch someone Oh, dear m for making a colossal grammatical fuck up in my post. Tee hee)

Yep, r158, comma splice in your second paragraph. Oh, DEAR.

I have far more appreciation for people's looks. I can honestly look at many I felt were ugly or unattractive and now admire them. And it works the other way as well. I can look in the mirror and be far more accepting of my own physical deficits.

R94 I am 72 and I find and appreciate new music: ambient, EDM, sludge, Americana, indie, noise rock, doom, new-Jazz, classical.... always looking for new music to wake up my ears and heart.

I was 14 when I saw the original version of Chicago with Gwen Vernon. When I saw the revival with Ann Reinking, the line "I'm older than I ever intended to be" wasn't so funny anymore.

[quote]And then you forget where you "stashed" them . . .

So you buy another three-pack and strategically place them so that no matter where you look you'll find a pair!

Stopped into Target to pick up a prescription and saw the new readers in vibrant pink, reminded me of the glasses my grandmother wore... 50 years ago. Couldn't resist.

[quote]I've heard Blondie, Talking Heads, and The Cure playing at Ralphs (Kroger) as well.

What's embarrassing is when you're at Ralphs and get caught dancing in the cereal aisle. Then the clerk rushes over to make sure you haven't broken your hip.

R164 omg, so true.

I joke with my husband, 63, when he begins dancing. I say, “Honey, you better watch out if the neighbors see you they might think you are having a stroke!”

[quote] Yep, [R158], comma splice in your second paragraph. Oh, DEAR.

[quote] I love you still.

Should be (?): "I love you, still."

Having a urine bottle in the car in case you have to pee, like RIGHT NOW.

You wonder if somebody your age is still alive rather than what they're doing.

When I pick up a prescription at CVS and they remember my birth date.

When you look forward to seeing the discount deals being offered by AARP.

Signs You Know You Are Getting Old:

With all your medications, vitamins, and supplements, you're taking more than ten pills a day, and you need an app on your phone to tell you when to take what, or it won't happen...

I waited until I was 70 to retire, 3 years ago, and finally started taking my SS and union pension. This was after a very successful 50 year career in NY show biz. I keep myself fully engaged with reading, crosswords. gardening, biking, and my dog and DL, of course, but what I love the most is the lack of emails and phone calls telling me what to do and where I need to be. I love having each day to myself (and my husband) and not having to see people I don't want to see.

I really enjoy being home. Fortunately, I'm very healthy and now take the time to see all the various doctors and specialists like dermatologists, allergists, eye doctor, physical therapists, etc, that I never took the time to see when I was younger.

When someone under forty makes an earnest assertion about society or politics and you just smile sadly to yourself while thinking, "How long until he learns?"

R170, what are the AARP discount deals you enjoy?

[quote]Realizing Star Wars’ release in 1977 was closer to Gone with the Wind than it is to today

😲

I *hate* you for bringing this heretofore unknown but easily calculable information to my attention. I am going to make it to my life‘s mission to make you miserable now.

When you go away for a long weekend and bring your medical insurance card “just in case”.

When songs you used to like make you nostalgic for the past or annoyed because you’ve now heard them 6000 times.

[quote]When songs you used to like make you nostalgic for the past or annoyed because you’ve now heard them 6000 times.

That is exactly why I like new music. My dad and my sister are so trapped in a specific time. They absolutely will not listen to anything other than what was popular when they were in their 20s. Meanwhile I am scanning for new stuff all the time and constantly adding things to my library. I don’t want to be stuck in my 20s forever. I mean, I’m not trying to act like I’m still in my 20s either, but I need something new to keep my attention and to make my life not the dullest thing in the entire world.

And the nice thing about discovering new artists is I can go see eight or nine concerts a year and spend $35 on a ticket instead of $400+ on a ticket for an established artist that can sell out an arena (and that I’m not that interested in anyway).

Be old. But act young. And if any kids give you shit for it, just remind them that you were punk rock when they were still wearing shitty little diapers. That usually shuts them up.

Time seems to pass faster and faster.

R178- If you are so embracing of new music 🎶

you can’t be particularly discerning

Tempus fugit

Carpe diem

Non plaudite. Modo pecuniam jacite.

[[R178]- If you are so embracing of new music 🎶 you can’t be particularly discerning

What makes you say that? You don’t think I can discern good new music from bad new music? Or more specifically, music that I like from music that I don’t like?

[quote]Time seems to pass faster and faster.

It's true. 1977 seemed to go on forever.

I now know I will be fortunate to live another 20-25 years (I'm 74). But I have to say, with the horrible state of the world and half the nation being so irreparably stupid, I might be just fine with that. I don't envy friends with kids and grandkids.

Oh really, r184

Why so pessimistic, R184?! Why not shoot for another 30-35 years?

Here's MY sign: Feeling smug knowing that the following generations will someday be 70-year-old whiners, get-off-my-lawners, takers, useless eaters, abuse targets, totally uncool fogies, new-technology idiots, popular-music haters, out of shape recliner-buyers, diabetics, and the recipients of Hallmark "Just FOAD Already!" cards. Sent by their grandchildren.

I say that with all due respect.

When you spread your legs and you can audibly hear a creaky door noise

^How OLD are you people??

I no longer apologize for farting if I'm with anyone I'm with, whether for professional or personal reasons. I just say,

"I'm just glad that's all there was to it."

[quote]^How OLD are you people??

Old enough to know to not to use the expression "you people" on here or anywhere for that matter.

In truth, I dated Betsy Ross. Of course, in that era, everybody dated Betsy Ross.

You’re on the DL

Two words: Grey pubes.

I love my bed. When I was younger I could sleep, literally, anywhere. Now I prefer my own bed. The mattress is just right, the pillows are just right and the covers are just right.

R195 It's not so much that you're older; it's more likely that you turned into Momma Bear.

R192 I must know you she made my flag dress shirt.

Same for me, r44. I'm completely out of touch with about 90% of current pop culture and I really don't care. If a tv show is a big hit, I probably haven't seen it. I don't know who half of the current crop of pop singers are. I think most current music is complete and total shit.

I'm so over most of the pop culture of today.

I started thinking my hair was growing much faster than it used to, then I realized it seemed that way because time seems to pass so much more quickly than it did when I was young.

I think also when you get old you realize from past history how these new pop singers and TV shows and miniseries are only hot for a minute and then the next thing comes along. So it's not worth investing in any of the new shit.

^ Really? A lot of them hang around for years and years.

It's not the 60s.

They might "hang around," but they don't continue to make music that sells.

I have the perfect sleeping weather for my nest, R195. I can poke my feet in and out of the covers as needed for a soft cool breeze.

[quote] you need an app on your phone to tell you when to take what, or it won't happen...

wait, does an app like that exist?

I relate to too many of these. But I don’t think I’ve seen this one yet. When I look in the mirror, my forehead looks like a map of some nation with hundreds of islands. What is up with these age spots and why do they multiply exponentially year after year? I can barely stand to look in the mirror more than once a day.

(Not me in the link… but nowadays close enough.)

Bryan Singer won't answer any of your texts.

R125 On the bright side Cher paid to have some of her ribs removed, or so the rumour goes. You might dribble every time you open your mouth, you might have a face like the map of the world, but at least you will be thinner. That is the holy grail for elder gays.

r205, there are creams and ointments that will erase or at least lighten age spots if the spots aren't raised. See a good pharmacist (some are non-prescription) or a dermatologist (the prescription medications are best).

I feel each and every one of these posts. When the fuck did I get old? I retired from a government job at 55. I'm now 60.

I wake up at an ungodly hour. This makes the day seem like it's a week long. I spend a lot of time driving to, waiting at, and being patronized at doctor's appointments. Young people are now talking to me like I am some sort of slightly slow small child. Entire food groups have been declared off limits for their various aftereffects. I cannot start a movie at any time. I fall asleep no matter when it plays. My pharmacist and my chiropractor are now personal friends.

On the plus side, I have a lot of time to spend on anything I want to do. I have learned how to speak dog. I learned how to fly airplanes. I spend a lot of free time mentoring young pilots and that makes me feel young all over again and has the additional benefit of resurrecting my hope in the future. I branched into aviation law and it has launched me in a new career direction. I am grateful for the patience, the perspective and the persistence that I am gaining as I age.

I fucking hate my skin.

r209, Harkonnen, if you are unable to sit through a movie without falling asleep, how are you able to fly a plane?

My boners are only like 80% as hard as they used to be

[quote]Young people are now talking to me like I am some sort of slightly slow small child.

Oh, yeah, R209 -- and that makes me so angry I retired early to get away from them.

Intellectually, I am light-years ahead of those kids and they still "talk down" to me.

Whatevah.

I would be happier if younger people spoke more clearly and loudly. Most mumble and slur their words.

You dread and hate July 4th fireworks more with each passing year.

I spent the week at the beach with my friend since kindergarten and his family. Then his son, who is going to college in the fall showed up with his girlfriend. I know this will make me sound like an old perv, but I hadn't seen him since before Covid and I was just awestruck at what he looks like now. I was expecting a gangly kid, but he was no gangly kid. I saw him and then it hit me that my ass is old.

If I need to get something to eat I will go to a drive through just so I can wear my pajama bottoms and not have to bother to change. The thought of doing this when I was younger would have mortified me.

I actually despise to hear children scream and act like monsters. I used to fake it like oh it’s ok. Now I just glare. Keep your damn children under control.

As a young guy, I would walk, drive, travel anywhere and had no fear. I wasn't stupid about it and didn't go through a war zone but I felt there were few limitations. Now, as I'm not as fast, not as strong, can't see or hear as well, I'm far more careful and dare I say, fearful of where I go.

Per new music, it's simply hard to get into anything the way I used to. Music is a sore point for all of us because we had those headphone on all day, blasting whatever was popular. Finding something new, anything that's a true passion at our ages would be an ultimate blessing.

R210, I'm not r209 Feyd-Rautha, but I can answer:

Passive vs. Active.

R218, Up to my 50s, maybe early 60s, I wouldn't hesitate to stay out overnight on NYC sidewalks to get a concert ticket or gain entry to a TV show (or just wait like the paparazzi) to see some singer or actor.

Now, I cannot relate to that person I was!

Accidental farts. There I said it. And I hate it.

R210 Believe me, I have to be rested to fly, but watching television passively puts me to sleep.

My misophonia is getting worse. A lot worse. It's not only certain sounds but now it's top notes and high pitches that really grind my gears - shrieking babies, barking dogs, squealing trumpets. And I especially hate the loud as fuck sound design in many movies these days especially the soundtrack volume.

It's hard to make friends. It's easy to find a pleasant conversation, but everyone older than 50 is just done with sustaining a friendship if it doesn't already exist.

I'm misophonic, too, r223. I hate going to theatres and most concerts because of people talking. I didn't pay all this money to hear some yutz opine on what we're watching or listening to. Ticking clocks make me lose my shit. Anyone on speakerphone in public deserves to be shot. And neighbor noise, such as bass from someone else's stereo, fuggetaboudit. Babies shrieking, no thank you. Kids playing their little noiseboxes make me want to stay home.

I should think needing reading glasses in the first place is enough to make you feel old.

You age in years.

I forget the Wordle word of the day five minutes after I solve it.

You meet a good looking young guy and all you think is " I wonder if he would roll my trash can down the driveway for me ". 🙃

R229 cute image. So true.

R229 - is that a metaphor?

I do Wordle every day.

When you need your reading glasses to look at Grindr.

I give out a little grunt when I bend over to pick things up.

I give out a little grunt if I can get Wordle in 4.

I want to eat beef

Hello fellow grunter at r36. I hadn't started reading this thread before I commented. I try to restrain it if I have to get something from the bottom shelf at the grocery store. I'm not always successful. Sometimes it's pain which comes and goes unpredictability independent of weather; sometimes it's the stiffness.

Single most of my life, no children, family died while I was younger.. So, my life did not have the sign posts most people have, anniversaries, children's graduations and milestones, family demands, etc. My life consisted of work, friends, some travel, sex,my interests. Nothing changed for many years. I now feel that I went to sleep at 35 and woke up at 70. Aging was a kind of shock, somehow I never considered it. Some things remain, but now in my 70s many of the changes in earlier posts are unavoidable.

I have decided that I will look upon aging as my new experience, and befriend it. I know my years are getting ever fewer, and hope that my end will not be too painful, as I plan to be aware until the bitter end. Seems a shame to have this great trip end without fully experiencing the end of it.

Seeing an unfamiliar character on Endeavour and being unsure of whether it’s a new suspect or one you’ve simply forgotten.

[quote] Single most of my life, no children, family died while I was younger.. So, my life did not have the sign posts most people have, anniversaries, children's graduations and milestones, family demands, etc. My life consisted of work, friends, some travel, sex,my interests. Nothing changed for many years.

Same here. Other than retirement, no real milestone markers to note the passage of time. I'm 66, but, as I've enjoyed excellent health, don't feel physically different than I did when I was younger.

Wriggling out of my skinny jeans at the end of the night is one of my worst nightmares. Actually, getting into them in the morning is no picnic either.

I weigh 160 lbs and I'm 5'7" so not exactly overweight but I'm now aware that the extra flesh at my tummy giving me that slight unsightly pot belly is not really fat but worn out flabby flesh with no elasticity.

[quote]I have decided that I will look upon aging as my new experience, and befriend it.

I phrase it as "I am on the old man ride." Sometimes I will walk across the room and realize I am aware I am walking like an old man and I'll just [italics]laugh[italics)

I think, also, there are several staged of "old age".... I've passed through several already (I am 72), but I am far from what a doctor friend calls "the dwindles"....

“What a strange thing to happen to a little boy.”

Somebody commented on how gray I was getting today.

Then they gave me the senior rate at the AYCE Chinese place and I won't be 65 for three months.

Oh well, fuck it.

Who the hell is hosting SNL?

If you have just two drinks you don't feel right for the next two days. You just can't drink at all anymore.

R232, I do Wordle at about 12:01 a.m. I can't tolerate waiting!

(Top left corner, 3 horizontal lines = More games! You can play a couple free, but only once a day. More often, and more games, requires a subscription.)

I have to think back. Grey hair and wrinkles are the first signs I can remember. Subtle at first then KABOOM!

Wordle fans - have you tried Wordhurdle? 6 letters and so much smarter and more fun.

You call it your daddy dick.

Many of the habits of thought that you formed and relied on for years become questionable.

“I could book a hiking tour of Italy.”

That thought used to get you through the bad days, week, months, years, and decades at work.

But if you haven’t done it by now, the only reasons that pile on are the ones that mean you never will, even if you’ve got “I can afford it” in the yes column now. You tire too easily, you still don’t speak the language, you still don’t want to have a roommate OR pay the single supplement, and you’re in the habit of “putting it off” because you’ve put it off so long.

Face it: you will never be young and hiking in Italy.

But you could book a sleeper on the Ghan train and ride across Australia!

My 93 year old aunt gave me a magnifying glass and it has been very helpful reading small print items.

R247 I'm just starting to figure this out. I really enjoy drinking in the moment, but if I drink I'm either useless the next day or power through my chores seething about how shitty I feel.

The voices that used to say 'They're laughing at you! Kill them all!' now just say 'I told you that you should have pooped before leaving the house, but do you ever listen? I don't know why I bother'

Driving at dusk. I find it harder than driving at night. And the slight unease is not pleasant.

The permanent wondering with every change in function: is this just normal aging or is something really wrong?

I haven't heard of half the "celebrities" that are being discussed here on the DL.

Out of the blue, I'm having a fling this summer. In Europe I met this guy through Scruff. I thought it was just a hook up with a big dose of I can't believe my luck. I'm 58, he's 41. But there was real chemistry there and we're now flying back and forth every month. (He's a real person with a real job, not a hustler.)

I know it won't last, I know it can't last, but unexpectedly and happily it's ticking a lot of boxes on my bucket list and I'm having a marvellous time. And that's how I know I'm getting old. Because this is making me feel really content and more complete but five years ago I would have dismissed it as impractical and foolish and pointless with an ocean between us. Now at this stage of life, I'm saying, enjoy every minute of this because it's probably the last, mad, sexy, silly romance of your life. And it's brilliant!

r258 the only real gage used to determine your DL worthiness is that you be fully versed in all things Shelley Hack.

R260, who? 😉😊

I just got a random letter from my local Red Lobster wishing me a 'Happy EARLY' 65th birthday with a free dinner. I just turned 64 last month.

Fuck y you, AARP!!!

I eagerly look forward to my CVS CarePass $10 promo coupon every month.

I eat MetaMucil wafers very morning for breakfast and they really work down there.

r263 I relate.

If I ever play and then win the lottery, I’ll install four ADA compliant toilets in downtown Seattle that are open on federal holidays.

Because I’m old, I allowed a faint stream of tourists into my office yesterday (4th of july) to use the toilet against company policy because there are NO bathrooms open in this town on holidays. Welcome to Seattle; you won’t OD in our bathrooms.

If I only have to get up once in the night to pee, I consider that a good night's sleep.

You seriously consider how your REALLY old life will be and if, God Forbid, you may have to find a way to end your own life.

When I replaced the toilets in my house last year, the plumber recommended "comfort height" and I said sure why not. After one time I was singing, I never knew love like this before. OMG, regular toilets are shit. Get yourself a comfort height toilet and you'll thank yourself.

When you're in your 70s and you read the posts from people in their 50s who think they're so old.

Just wait!

I’m 61 and am seriously considering when to retire from my current job. I do plan to do something afterwards but will take a few months off first. I’m thinking by age 67 I’ll leave.

I pay for Netflix but not for the new shows. I watch shows like ‘Happy Endings.’

We used to laugh at my Mom for watching the Weather Channel. My sister and I now find ourselves checking the sky and weather apps.

When every morning, like clockwork, you have piss like a racehorse at 6:50 AM and have a massive bowel movement at 6:55 AM...but don't wake up till 7:30 AM

My doctor just told me my knee is somewhere between mild and moderate arthritis, with worse to come. So feeling rather old about that!

This cracked me up. No pun. Ithasn't happened to me, yet...

[QUOTE]The worst thing about your 40s is all the sports injuries you get...in your sleep.

R274... I just tore my meniscus.... a very common sports injury in the young!

I was hurrying from the car to the front door.

R77 - That happened to me recently when I referenced Sammy Davis Jr..

Were you in your sleep, r275?

I am getting deluged by Medicare information in the mail from a myriad of insurance companies every single day. I'll be 65 in a few months.

Daily pain. Everything hurts. Just... always. I need to stretch [italic]before[/italic] getting out of bed. Arthritis just takes over.

Pooping and peeing gets weird too. The slightest diet changes can wreck havoc for a week or more. Drink lots of water but NOT after 6pm. Now I just found out my prostate is officially enlarged. At least it's not cancer!

And ditto to everyone talking about weight gain and difficulty losing it. I eat like a bird and still weigh at least 15 lbs too much.

Of course the next stage of life is when us fatties all drop weight scarily... if we make it that far.

Aging ain't for the weak!

I've had German Shepherds all my life. Love them. Love them. But at my age, they're too big and strong to handle and it's wrong for a dog owner to have an animal they can't adequately control, even with training. So I went to small dogs, two miniature pinschers. Now I know why people want to take their dogs everywhere. You get this nurturing feeling that you don't get for larger dogs. PS, I don't bring them everywhere but I'd like to.

When you're sitting in your dentist's waiting room and Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses starts playing on the "easy listening" station.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

When getting out of the car is one of the most dangerous things you can do to your body.

Don't emerge from the car seat on one foot/leg/hip's pressure. I swivel my entire body around to the open door before rising out of the car seat and that seems to be helping.

Easy listening as in Muzak, r281? Back in college we'd joke that someday we'd walk into an elevator and hear Def Leppard's "Rock of Ages." We wondered how they'd handle the "Gunter Glieben Glauten Globen" part. Scarily prescient, we were.

My doctor recently put me on a new medication (so normal now it's not even the point of this post) and cautioned me that one of the side effects is dizziness upon standing up so "don't jump up out of your chair too quickly." I told him it's been years since I could jump up out of anything and that standing up requires focus and precision now, so probably not a problem for me.

There were 99 candles on my cake. 😔

I've become more sensitive to salt which surprises me because I thought taste buds became less sensitive/ wore down with age. Restaurant foods often taste oversalted now and some recipes call for too much salt (I always follow precisely the first time I make something new). This from the person who would eat the coarse salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag in college. My boyfriend joked that he'd get me a salt kick for Christmas.

[quote] You get this nurturing feeling that you don't get for larger dogs.

R280. You feel nurtured by your small dogs? Or you feel like you're nurturing your small dogs?

You long for the return of travel agents. Tell them where you want to go and when, and let THEM figure it out..

Losing your keys is one thing.

Finding them and not knowing what they are is quite another…

The movers will be here Friday at 9:00 AM. I have packed 6 boxes. I feel as if i have been viciously beaten by a truck driver named Bubba Ray .

R288 there are still travel agents.

Waking up in the morning and finding a strange man in bed with you.

Oooops! You went into the wrong room again at the assisted living center.

R292 that’s funny

[R162] I was 14 when I saw the original version of Chicago with Gwen Vernon.

Gwen Verdon! VERDON!

Sheesh.

I saw Gone With The Wind at a movie theater in 1939

Signs: I read multiple threads on "how you know you're getting old" on DL.... read the same things, laugh, experience the flash of recognition. post the same responses.... and remember none of it.

When Ezra Pound said "make it new", I don't think he meant this.

Same ol DL shit different day

How can anyone seriously believe that Donald Trump would not have divulged any secrets about the JFK assassination?

R298 = disoriented. Showing early signs of dementia.

Same for aliens, R298.

Regarding old age references:

I'm 62. Last summer, I went to a resort town with my 38yo female friend. Ran into a hot gay guy (age 49) with an even hotter cool friend (about 40). He invited us to his nearby home for a gathering that night with a few of his friends, ranging in age from 30-40, and a lesbian couple mid 50s. I think we were all having the most amazing time with plenty of laughs, mild flirting, overt flirting, good food, good drinks, amazing fun atmosphere.

Approaching the midnight hour, I announced to everyone that we were leaving, SHUFFLING OFF TO BUFFALO. Blank stares, everyone calculating the geography which didn't fit. Someone asked me if I lived in Buffalo?

Regarding old age references:

I'm 62. Last summer, I went to a resort town with my 38yo female friend. Ran into a hot gay guy (age 49) with an even hotter cool friend (about 40). He invited us to his nearby home for a gathering that night with a few of his friends, ranging in age from 30-40, and a lesbian couple mid 50s. I think we were all having the most amazing time with plenty of laughs, mild flirting, overt flirting, good food, good drinks, amazing fun atmosphere.

Approaching the midnight hour, I announced to everyone that we were leaving, SHUFFLING OFF TO BUFFALO. Blank stares, everyone calculating the geography which didn't fit. Someone asked me if I lived in Buffalo?

R259, Add in Tuscany or Paris, and I'm in for the movie! Hallmark, of course!

Because you wrote of your experience in a charming way.

R301/302, I once asked my much younger colleagues, "Why won't Bill Bailey come home?" & got nothing but blank stares.

Similarly, when it rains on a Monday, I learned not to say, "rainy days and Mondays always get me down."

Signs your berry lies!

It smells like shit

My husband and I flip a coin to see who will drive at night. We both have trouble seeing the road. It’s best we keep our asses home.

Please stay off the roads r307

R308 yes, we do keep our asses at home. When I was younger it used to piss me off the slow scared drivers driving at night. I swore that would not be me. We both know our limits and get our errands done in the daytime.

I love to go to bed at 6 pm! Fun!

Same here about the slow, scared drivers. And it's so much easier to get around now with Uber and Lyft in any decent sized community. A social life doesn't need to end. Yet there are so many people in denial about declining abilities and they don't seem to have dementia.

I was lucky my father was one with self-awareness and insight into his condition. He voluntarily stopped driving due to anxiety and forgetfulness, he said, and my mother took over. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's a year or so later. He knew something was up with his body.

Another sign - getting a call from your medical insurance provider telling you they are enrolling you in a program that gets your meds from Canada, because it’s cheaper than the US.

The local funeral homes want you to come in and pre plan

I fart more, but their softer and less onerous

I get postcards to attend seminars by The Neptune Society on how to pre-plan for my cremation.

Wow, luckily we have not received a call to come visit for our future funeral plans. Yikes.

Old ladies on the bus get up and offer their seat

Honestly, I'm 74 but look 60 and wish someone would offer their seat to me.

R318 me too, I am only 32 but look 21 so people say.

I love to disco bump. Unfortunately, now when I bump, I end up in the ER.

I find myself helping older people when food shopping. I helped a woman who was buying ingredients for enchiladas. Her daughter had given her the list of things to buy so they could cook it together. Made me miss my Mom.

Helped another couple find something because they had coupons. Lots of coupons. Both appeared to be in their 80s at least.

I used to be impatient with older people taking forever to find items. Now, it all makes sense and I’m finding myself being empathetic.

R321 I’m right there with you.

An interesting thing for me is that since retiring 3 years ago, my dreams are far more vivid and intense and often feature me in my former working environments. Not nightmares per se, but very dramatic and exhausting. Have any other retirees experienced this?

when you need ED pills

I am becoming more and more like the partridge family children where there was a long standing joke about their only line was asking, “Who.” I find myself not knowing who half the celebrities or fraus are on DL.

I must admit DL keeps my mind young and I become a little more educated on who’s who. Although, some people I wish I had no knowledge of.

R323 only when I use a nicotine patch. Same types of dreams, very vivid!

There must be Wellbutrin in those nicotine patches. Wellbutrin (Chantix) is a smoking cessation drug and its side effect is vivid dreams, too vivid.

R327 could they really put Wellbutrin in a patch? Doesn’t Wellbutrin require a prescription?

I use the patches and man do I have the weirdest dreams. I actually kind of like going to sleep to see what I am going to dream about.

R328, why not? They put morphine in patches.

R329 true. I was just thinking because patches are bought over the counter. Some people may be allergic to Wellbutrin. I’ll go check the ingredients on my dusty nicotine patches on my nightstand.

[quote]since retiring 3 years ago, my dreams are far more vivid and intense and often feature me in my former working environments.

I have recurring dreams that take place in one particular office in which I once worked. No one is there, but all the lights are on, and I am flying around the office. I have never had dreams that take place in any other place I worked.

R313, I have such a letter on my kitchen table as I write! ⚰

R307/r309, Have you been checked for cataracts? My nighttime (as well as daytime!) vision improved to 20/20 post-operations. 🌒 🚗

R332 I do have some eye issues that are on watch, as does my husband.

R333 it’s like the blind leading the blind at night, lol.

Nightmares about restaurant work are common. When I worked in restaurants, my coworkers and I all had nightmares about our sections filling up with customers, being slammed (too busy), etc. I continued to have those dreams for a long time after I quit working in restaurants.

R323 I wish I could write down some of my vivid dreams in detail. They're like movie scripts - full-blown stories with sets and costumes, plot twists, humor, drama, the works! And rarely do they have anything to do with my actual life -current or past. I think my watching a lot of stuff on cable has awakened my dormant writing skills. I wake up in the morning thinking, "Wow, where did THAT come from?" And then, just like that, it's gone.

Post housework

What’s housework, lol, joking. As I grunt and groan.

I NEED my afternoon nap.

My 50 minute afternoon nap is my happy place. Best sleep of the day or night.

R323 Yes. I retired at the end of 2020 and I have work anxiety dreams 1-3 times a week. The only bright side is that when I wake up I'm so glad I retired. And I loved my job, but I like retirement more. Also, the job dreams are all worst case scenario involving things that rarely (or never) happened IRL, like missing important meetings. The boss I had for the last 15 years had a reputation for being very difficult, but in my dreams he's impossible.

I have frequent dreams about my past job and they are lovely.

As I have gotten older, my dreams have grown very infrequent and what I remember of them fleeting. During my youth and middle age I dreamed vividly, remembered them upon waking in detail. I think retired life is much more placid, less stressful, less eventful. There aren't much unresolved issues or frustrated desires to be worked out, which is what I believe the function of dreams is.

Sometimes I worry about my dogs. What happens if I die? I do not want my babies to be taken to the shelter. 😢

R344 make arrangements with friends

Varicose veins around my ankles. Eeeek!

Between them and yellowed aged toenails I really won't wear sandals or flip flops around company any more. I've resorted to those little white anklet socks.

You let a fart rip in a store aisle and don’t care.

R347, I use the Pastry/bread aisles/islands around oddly shaped “hearty” breads.

I’ve graduated to 2 pills per day and I’m thinking of giving the bottles their own little tray or treasure box to live on the counter. I’ve been hiding them in the kitchen cabinet and I need the space.

R348 I think you might have been shopping at a store I was at…lol. Someone stunk up the whole damn aisle.

Oh well tooting is perfectly healthy. You would do more damage holding your toots in…right.

Your post made me actually laugh out loud.

R347 I thought that might have been you....

R325, my husband and I do that when rupaul announces the extra special guest judge.

Who?

Anyone who says all new music is shit...

You need to stop listening to radio or watching pop programs like the granny's.

Check out some music podcasts on NPR. Listen to Discover Weekly on Spotify. Look at a music festival lineup poster and research the bands at the bottom of the list.

There are a great number of new artists, always have been. I'm 53 and I go to coachella every year...I discover 30-40 new artists this way.

When you hear a new song played and you are the only one in the room that knows its a cover of some old Motown song.... or what Motown even is.

Worse, knowing that Tommy Dorsey was the one who played the trombone. His brother Jimmy played the clarinet.

And that Tommy was the one who choked to death while he was asleep.

I am totally at a loss with what haircut to get. I have had the same haircut for many years and I am starting to think it is horribly dated but I just can't imagine my hair in one of the current styles. And I have completely lost muscle in areas and worry I can't get it back.

In old age shorter trimmed hair is always more flattering and youthful even with a full head of healthy air.

Wrinkles and long hair don't mix well. Lonfg hair makes you look older, not younger.

I've also gone on about this in former threads, but older men look infinitely better with a collared shirt, including a polo shirt, to frame a sagging neck. Tee shirts are not your friend out in public, even combined with a sports jacket (where you really need that shirt collar to support your old neck.

R356 ha, what a "pragmatic" thread this is. Just in the last couple years I've noticed that t-shirts look good when you (when I) first put them on, but in no time at all the collar gets stretched - which might look ok on a young, toned, muscled neck...... but on the sagging horror that post-70s skin facilitates... looks really bad. Even a t-shirt under a collared shirt.

Old creeper fashion hint #5: Wear collared shirts with no t-shirts underneath.

R357, I’m tempted to drop the undershirt beneath collared shirt, but some of these over-sized shirts (the fabric is crazy these days and I love it) leave a deep V even in size XS or 0 for JAPANESE brands.

I shop Japanese products because I believe, as someone considered a gnome-sized pocket gay, I score higher quality and better fit from a nation of men with stereotypically great legs and asses.

r357, I've made it a mission over many years to find a white tee shirt brand in which the neck best keeps its shape and stays firm. So far, Jockey is the best. Far better than Hanes and Calvin, etc.

I wear them very close fitting (size Small for me) which helps keep the neck firm and I also like the warmth in the colder months. I also happen to like seeing that triangle of white at the open collar which I think flatters my older face.

R354, I'll one-up you!

Old Man Dorsey, as Tommy and Jimmy's father was known in the Coal Regions of PA, taught MY father the trombone, which resulted ultimately in MY learning the trombone.

Yep, I'm old!

Re: stretched-out necks on shirts. I have a huge head in proportion to my height and body. The shirt neck gets stretched from putting it on, but even more from taking it off. I am considering switching to buttoned shirts, exclusively.

My asshole can take an adult man’s foot up to his calf without any effort

But why would you want to?

R362 Is it itchy if he’s wearing wool socks?

The bunion adds a certain je ne sais quoi.

Thank you ALL for your participation in my thread. I loved everyones fun posts. Let’s salute our age and all enjoy growing older together. ♥️ Thanks, DL

Another sign: I keep posting on a thread that has been closed.

Oh fuck off R367, it's only a week old.

Post away, I’m just thank big everyone. It’s nice to know I am not the only one dealing with shit. My husband is ten years older and we are laughing our asses off because these comments are us to a “T”.

Elder gay.

OP, it's eldergay, not elder gay.

And thank you for starting the thread!

R370 I am sorry my autocorrect always places a space between the words. I need to check before I hit, “post”

[quote]Thank you ALL for your participation in my thread. I loved everyones fun posts. Let’s salute our age and all enjoy growing older together. ♥️ Thanks, DL

YOUR thread? LOL

Signs you're getting old?

Just look at R372.

You, get off of my thread!!!

R372 Hence, the moniker OP. ♥️

I was here when OP created this thread… so much slimmer back then.

What is that odor?

Lord knows we ain’t got money I’m so in love with my pussy

I’m gonna pull over and stroke my meat

[quote]Signs You Know You Are Getting Old.

Here.

Finally.

You're welcome.

R380 omg, I have never seen that before. We love it.

R376, Weren't we all?

You say "head of hair" instead of simply saying "hair". Double old points for "full head of hair".

We are all getting "older".

Body odors change, ugh. Instead of manly, there is that old people smell. I tried Mirai persimmon soap, used in Japan. I know the japanese are very conscious of cleanliness, and bathing is serious. It does work. Dear god, what have I become?

The best body soap is still Ivory. 99 & 44% pure. Shower with it every day but use a Neutrogena or Aveeno face wash on your face. I'm 74 and experience no body odor.

Do people really not ask the barber to trim their eyebrows when they get a haircut so they don't get old man eyebrows that look like antennae? In addition to my hair and beard, my barber also trims my eyebrows and ear hair.

R387, mine has to trim my nose hairs.

Eyebrows seem to go one of two ways when you age. They either get bushy with excessively long hairs or they simply disappear. Mine are of the latter category.

To avoid the “old man odor”, shower everyday and don’t wear any clothing your wore yesterday. Fresh, clean clothes only. Wear a subtle, citrusy cologne.

You’re invisible in a gay bar.

You want to sleep more but ironically find it harder to sleep.

Signs you know you are getting cold.

Signs you know you are letting go.

Sighs, you know you are getting old.

I managed to remember a few for this thread-- sound distortion: around 42 or so, I started losing the ability to tell from which direction sounds are coming, or in some cases, I can't even identify the noise. Even a few years ago I could quickly pinpoint or identify the source. Sounds like the dishwasher or washing machine, etc. I used to think older-but-not-old people were just being annoying when they would get wide-eyed in their own home and ask "Do you hear that, what is it?!" and it was something mundane and every day like the refrigerator.

Another one is that I am unable to see contrasts as clearly. If I'm looking at someone 25 feet away, and their face isn't well-illuminated somehow, I can no longer perceive their expression. I just had a great eye check up and I got some good glasses, but it doesn't help much with the darkness issue. A year ago I took out the trash after dark. The dumpsters are kept in the driveway beside my 8' privacy fence, about ten or twelve feet away from the gate. The big gate closed behind me and I put my trash in the carts, then walked the few feet back to the gate, but I couldn't see it at all. I had to feel around frantically for 20-30 seconds until I found the latch. I've lived here 15+ years.

I was a little rattled by that. I can see why old people are scared shitless.

Dottie, my grandma's dog, is doing well. She needs to lose some weight, as toward the end, Granny lost her appetite and gave Dot chicken tenders and Meals on Wheels. At my house, Dottie sits _in_ the doggie door, half in, half out, so her ass stays cool but she doesn't miss any of the goings-on outside. That's good, she may need to let me in my fence next time I can't figure it out.

When medical cannabis becomes an all day necessity.

Is anyone else as pissed off as I am that most of the supposed 'stars' of today are mostly reality show regulars who are just famous for being famous? I go online to read celebrity news and I'm at a loss as to who these people are. Love Island? Vanderpump Rules? Housewives? Kardashians? I could give a shit, and yet, these people dominate the celebrity websites.

R396 There's no way to know who most of these people are unless you spend a lot of your time watching reality TV programs and following trendy social media celebs. It's all vacuous. With reality TV nonsense you are watching fake contrived situations instead of living your life vicariously through an unreal situation. Strange that people do this. I don't mind some senseless escapist shows or films from time to time but these non-star celebrities are not worth my time to know, to watch or to follow. Personally the only social media I subscribe to is Instagram, and that is only to follow my favorite music acts to know when there are new releases or when they are touring.

^ With the writers & actors on strike, prepare yourself for an onslaught of new reality stars.

I feel so fortunate that I, at 73, have seen new career fields arise. Reality TV star! Influencer! Instagram celebrity! Tik-Tok media mogul!

And what a blessing to see the rise of America's Dynasty, the Kardashian-Jenners! I LOVE "Keeping Up With" them all! As IF the Duchess of Wales and Princess Charlotte have ANYTHING on Our Dear Kim and Little North! Who's made the billions, eh?! Grand Dame Kris puts the late QEII in the SHADE! And hasn't Caitlyn led us all into a Brave New World?

So KEEP your stuffy old novels, your dry histories, your hokey musicals. Give me Reality TV, or give me YouTube!

R399 just think, the giant asses owe it all to OJ Simpson…..if he didn’t murder his ex wife, no one would know or care who Robert Kardashian was and no one would ever know or care about his evil, ugly spawn and their kids

Don't downplay the influence and popularity of her TV co-star Paris Hilton, r400, whose sex tape "One Night in Paris" started the $$ wheels turning in Kris's mind. This led directly to Kim's sex tape, and the rest is hi$tory.

Robert Kardashian and OJ were tangential.

R393 are you going to start those threads?

Signs You Know You Are Getting Mold.

Oh wait, that smell might be YOU since you haven't showered or changed your clothes since you went out to buy ramen last week.

R3 😂 😆. Love you.

[quote]Shopping tip for the eldergaze: You can get boxes of five pairs of readers through Amazon for $13-15 so you can have a pair everywhere in the house, car, etc. A single pair at Walgreens is $20.

Readers are readers: I get mine at the dollar store.

And yes, of course, they are strategically placed around the house.

[quote]An interesting thing for me is that since retiring 3 years ago, my dreams are far more vivid and intense and often feature me in my former working environments. Not nightmares per se, but very dramatic and exhausting. Have any other retirees experienced this?

Yes, absolutely. When we were younger we used to dream about being in school and realizing we're naked or in our underwear. These days, I dream of former places of employment and having big meetings or deadlines that I am unprepared for.

When I watch an old TV show (I’m currently watching Columbo), I feel more at home in the show’s late-20th century setting then I do in the world of 2023, which feels strange and foreign in a way that even before-my-time old movies don’t. The world of 1950 (before my time) seems more “normal” to me than today’s bizarro America.

R352, I do like Lo-Fi, but Lo-Fi is just Muzak for the modern age. Does it still count?

Otherwise, there’s way too much “old” – that is, pre-2010 – music that I enjoy for me to waste time trying to find new music to like. I’d rather explore truly old (pre-rock-n-roll) pop music. After all, no matter how much you keep up with new popular music, or pop culture generally, you’ll still be old.

R356 & R357, good points! The underlying idea is that, when you’re old, you have to be more careful about grooming and clothes because what looks devil-may-care and sexy on a 30-year-old looks homeless and pathetic on a 65-year-old. That means shaving every day – no grizzled whiskers – or wearing a full but neatly trimmed beard. Get your hair cut regularly and remember to comb it before you go out. Dress neatly. If your legs look bad – which is true for many old people for medical reasons – don’t wear shorts in public.

The good news is that nobody cares whether a 65-year-old is fashionable or trendy (in fact, it looks ridiculous most of the time), so you can wear that collared shirt and those khakis or corduroys for years and years if you take care of them.

R383, OK, I’ll take your word for it, but what do non-old people say when they mean “not bald, not balding, not thinning – a full head of hair”?

I catch myself squinting and grimacing all the time. I may have posted this before in another "we're old" thread, but I don't remember.

I used to see older people-- middle aged and up, making all kinds of crazyass faces in public just doing mundane things, gazing at the soup in the grocery store aisle, walking down the sidewalk, etc., and I used to think "jeez that person would be attractive, or at the very least, normal, if they weren't twisting their face in such a way. What the hell is wrong with them? Why would they do that?"

I know catch myself doing the same and I have to remind myself that others can see my face. Sometimes it's because of the sun/heat/cold/sciatica/call from mother, sometimes it's trying really hard to remember everything I needed at the store to prepare a dish. I have to be more conscious of that. It is so embarrassing.

R411, You're not old.

"Old" is not giving two....hoots about "others can see my face.....It is so embarrassing."

You side eye stairs. Any stairs. Fucking stairs.

R413 that’s more like signs you’re getting obese. Lol.

No seriously, I completely agree. My joints are slowly becoming less effective.

R414, I turned 50 and became afraid of stairs. I used to run up and down stairs without a thought. Now I think about it. Walking up stairs is not the problem, it's walking down them.

R415, especially if you wear bifocals or progressive lenses.

[quote]I have nose hair issues

I've always had them - it's just that now they're gray and white.

R417 I use a nose hair trimmer it works great.

Thank you, R418 - I've got one and it is excellent and battery powered. We didn't have such gadgets back in the day. We had these horrors.

Yesterday I ran into someone who had what is now a rare breed of dog. I mentioned how when I got my dog back in 1971 her breed were still very popular and were often confused with my breed of dog (Westies). When I said the word 1971 - she almost gasped! & repeated it - "1971". I was only 8 at the time. But still. To her 1971 probably sounds like 1901 to the likes of many of us.

In fairness, more than a half-century IS quite a bit of time, r420!

Right, R421.

If I'd run into her in 1971 and said the same thing, the equivalent would be 1919.

I now have to walk carefully.

Watch where I'm going more.

My balance is bad and I fall so much more easily.

☹️

Have you considered a stick, R423?

As long as Im clean, my clothes are clean, I cant be bothers going all out to make myself look fabulous anymore...no one looks at me anymore,.... so why waste the energy

R425 I feel you.

I see/hear/think about something I want to know more about. I touch the fingerprint reader on the iPad. It comes on. Takes maybe six seconds to get to Google.

Which these days is now enough time to have forgotten what I wanted to know in the first place. Total blank.

I'm going to turn into the mother in the Liberty Mutual commercial, the one where she's sticking Post-it notes on her phone.

R427 omg, I am happy to know I am not the only one experiencing these brain fog moments. I said to my husband do you think I am getting early Alzheimer’s!?!? He said, no, he has the same issue. It’s sad.

I look at my husband and I see him aging and my heart gets so sad. I cannot imagine him ever not being around. It gets me sad. He may irritate me or blah blah but I love him with all my heart and my life was forever blessed when he walked in to my heart and life. Gays really can have incredible and very satisfying relationships. 25+ years…

Crepey skin. Oh wait, that comes when you are past getting, you're there.

R425, I’ve come to terms with that recently. I started asking myself, “do you really want to spend 20 minutes getting ready, or do you just want to *go* and get (whatever mundane thing) done?”

I don’t owe anyone anything other than, as you put it, being clean and wearing clean clothes. And when I look around, I think that’s more than some people put into to it. I’m not out shopping in gross “fleece” pajama pants and flip flops!

I hear y'all. I never thought the day would come when I would go out without mascara on.

Then I had my cataracts removed and now can no longer see clearly close-up!

When I first went to the store sans makeup and the world didn't end---somebody would have had to actually look at me for that---I was free at last!

So I'm not dolled up. Who GAS, you know?

[quote]I had my cataracts removed and now can no longer see clearly close-up!

I thought having cataracts removed improved your sight, r431.

R432, It's a trade-off!

My severe myopia (and messed-up color perception: whites looked beige or yellow to me before, e.g. But I hadn't realized it!) is completely gone, and I now have 20-20 vision.

But near-sightedness allowed me, sans eyeglasses, to read a book close-up or thread a needle or, as I noted, apply mascara, because....NEAR-sighted.

Post-cataracts I am FAR-sighted, reversing my sight abilities.

So now I need the dreaded Old Person reading glasses. At least they're cheap!

Some people's vision can be improved via the implanted cataract lens, other's cannot.

I could read without glasses but needed them to drive pre-surgery. The doc offered me a choice, saying he couldn't make my vision 20/20 but that I had the choice: reading glasses or glasses for distant vision.

I chose reading glasses. Sunglasses no longer need prescription lenses - much cheaper.

True, r434! I'm driving now with sunglasses on, something I had never done.

But in any case, one is better off with cataract removal.

R435 "I'm driving now with sunglasses on"

Then for God's sake, please stop typing and watch the road.

Hahahaha! 😘

Watching the TV shows and movies you grew up with in the 70s and 80s and realizing everyone in the cast is dead, or watching something from the 90s and realizing it was 30 years ago now and the good looking men in their 30s or 40s are now in their 60s and 70s.

Is it just me or does your cock shrink as you get older?

Preparing myself (emotionally) for my first visit to a gastroenterologist this afternoon. I'm 74 and haven't had a colonoscopy in 8-10 years (can't remember exactly) but have to have this pre-check first. My regular doctor told me they don't usually bother with colonoscopys after the age of 74 (why, I don't know) so I'm hoping I won't need another one. I've always had good results from my earlier colonoscopys.

Loving this thread! It should be made into a book in combo with the thread on assisted living and nursing homes.

You fart when you get out of a chair or the car, and you don't even control it.

R441, Substitute "pee" and welcome to the 70s.

And not the 1970s.

Along the TV lines:

YKYGO When: You can't find any show you want to watch except "The Wild, Wild West" (Robert Conrad); "Wagon Train" (Michael Burns episodes); "Hawaii 5-0" (Jack Lord); "Wiseguy" (Ken Wahl and Ray Sharkey episodes); "Danger Man" (Patrick McGoohan); "Frasier, "Reba," (it's very funny!), and "King of Queens."

Throw in some "Alone" and there ya go.

Don't know diddly about "Modern Family," "Only Murders in the Building," "Bear," or any "Housewives" post-OG "Orange County" and then "New York City."

R443, older shows featured more strong, masculine men as main characters, as your list shows. If you like watching TV shows in part because you like watching virile men, it's sort of a desert today. Movies are the same, if not more so.

When I was young, I had no trouble living in the moment, even when I should have been more focused on the future.

Now that I'm old, generally enjoy my day-to-day life and don't have to do much of anything I don't want to do ... why can't I live in the moment and enjoy it? Instead, I feel like there's a huge black cloud over everything, labeled "THE FUTURE". This really detracts from the fun I should be having because, in the moment, I'm usually enjoying my life quite a lot.

By the way, this is not fear of death. I'm not afraid of being dead. I'm a little afraid of what happens before that, but no more than most people, I think. It's fear of the unknown. Fear of what disaster fate might send my way. Fear of what might happen to interfere with my nice low-key life. In other words, the sort of thing people who are 30 never think about.

As the cliche says, youth is wasted on the young.

Also, YKYGO When: You think, "I have too much 'stuff,' and I'm tired of it!"

And you start contemplating what to toss IN CASE TOMORROW you would have to move to "Assisted Living" (AKA, "Adult Community")!

When you berate yourself for not giving in to the joy of Metamucil until now.

You walk into a room, and there's a broom lying on the floor, and you say to yourself, "How the hell did THAT get there?" Then you slowly remember that a few hours earlier, you had started to sweep the room, the doorbell rang, and you went to answer it. After a friendly chat with the UPS guy, you did another chore and forgot about the sweeping.

When your day is full of hiccups like this, you know it's a sign that you're getting old.

R447 I wasn't even sure what Metamucil is but I saw your post and added it to my Amazon cart thinking, "Maybe this will fix my poop issues."

R450, be sure to drink lots of water along with the Metamucil.

I traveled a lot for business in my 20s and the first place I'd hit up in a new city was Tower Records. Just mentioning Tower makes me old as shit, but that was my safe spot. If the city had several, I'd try to visit them all because before Amazon, Tower was the only place that had rare records and each city had a different supply. Now, I sadly admit that when I visit new cities, I want to go to their Costco.

Metamucil wafers are tasty! I've never taken the liquid form but the wafers are highly effective. I have a package (2 small wafers) most mornings with my coffee, or in the afternoon with my tea. There's chocolate (best tasting IMO), cinnamon and apple crisp.

What about masturbating after the age of 65?

I found it tricky getting a full erection at that age and now, at 74, almost impossible, though I still can cum a bit if I only jerk off 2 or 3 times a week. But it's becoming less pleasurable and even just a little painful afterwards. And what turns me off enough to cumming are very specific images.

It's hard to break oneself of a 60 year habit that used to be so easy and satisfying. I never tried Viagra btw and now feel like it might kill me.

as an aside question, speaking of Viagra ... does it help with the libido, or is it just to get you hard?

asking for a now-60-year-old friend

R451 - my husband and I were just in nyc, after not having lived there for more than 20 years. As we were walking past the Apple store up by Lincoln Center, I asked my husband, "Wasn't this Tower Records?"

A couple of gaylings walking past us looked at us like we were ANCIENT.

To paraphrase Shakespeare, R454, it provokes the performance but doesn’t do much for the desire.

R455 Yeah, Tower Records went bankrupt in the mid 2000s. If you didn't live here fir 20 years you probably would have known it.

[quote][R451] - my husband and I were just in nyc, after not having lived there for more than 20 years. As we were walking past the Apple store up by Lincoln Center, I asked my husband, "Wasn't this Tower Records?" A couple of gaylings walking past us looked at us like we were ANCIENT.

They heard you referencing Tower? Then they instantly passed judgement? How did they even know what Tower was?

Sorry, r269, I'm too short! In fact, I am waiting for a new toilet as I write, and it will be normal height.

R455, There was a Tower Records in Trump Tower (I shopped there. Once I rode down that now-infamous escalator to it and who was yakking with others at the bottom but the very owner of the building). I don't recall a TR by Lincoln Center.

R456, That's quite the paraphrase, since it's the exact opposite!

You miss AOL…..

You still use your AOL email.

You decide to Google a name or a subject, but instead of typing it in the search box and hitting Enter, you absentmindedly type it into a text and hit Send, and it goes to whomever you texted last.

R178 Good outlook. Music has left my friends in their 50s and has been replaced by cable news.

One learns, thanks to the three cops in the driveway last night doing a welfare check on my crazy neighbor that the door to her third floor porch is flapping open and shut, that she’s 88 (we knew she was old but not that old), and after some back and forth determined she’s not home because she drove the 1000 miles or so to Cleveland last Tuesday to visit her sister.

And you realize, 10 or 15 years from now, the Silver Alert they’re contemplating could be for you.

[quote]and now, at 74, almost impossible, though I still can cum a bit if I only jerk off 2 or 3 times a week

R453, "only" 2 or 3 times [italic]a week[/italic]?!

If you're ejaculating 2 or 3 times a week at 74, you're doing great. Stop worrying.

As for the rest, if it doesn't feel good or the desire's not there, why bother? Sex is not like food. You don't need it to stay alive. It's there if it feels good and you want it. If not - and that's true for many old people - just don't.

It must be exhausting having a much younger partner - trying to pretend you're younger than you are all the time. Stuffing yourself with Viagra.

And these ancient pop singers - have you heard my new album? I'd rather not thank you. Why? Because I KNOW it's shit, that's why.

Mick Jagger prancing around the stage, age 80, being all "sexy". "Yeah, baby...you're drivin' me crazy!"

Paul McCartney - look out for his 2023 Autumn tour of South America!!

I remember the Tower near Lincoln Center. There was also a high-end audio shop next door, or nearby. I stopped in, hoping to listen to a pair of Magneplanar speakers using a CD I'd just bought, but the stereo store was so small, there was no way to set the speakers up. They're planar, i.e., thin, tall, non-boxy panels, and they need a lot of space around them to sound decent. It just wasn't happening.

R467 I absolutely agree.

I think I really overexaggerated my cum schedule at r453. It's more like once a week or occasionally twice, but the second time can be just slightly painful afterwards without enough days in between to recover.

Which is sad because masturbating is one of the easiest, freest and most pleasurable things we can do for ourselves for most of our lives. It just becomes a habit that I miss, especially as someone who never enjoyed sex with others as much as I did jerking myself off.

You fight with everyone over everything here on DL..

It’s guaranteed you will be insulted over something and you takes everything posted personally

You are more interested in masturbation to help you get to sleep than to get you off sexually.

My relationship to masturbation as I approach 60 is starting to look like it did as a teenager. It's my primary sexual outlet and I'm actually enjoying it a lot.

Yesterday I was in a hurry for an appointment to have have a bone density test. I went to map the location of the medical center and found that I couldn't see because I didn't have my glasses. I let out a string of profanity, looked in every room only to discover my glasses on my damn head.

Mine, R474 is like old joke that not only is it enjoyable, you don’t have to think about your hair.

Your back spasms when something vaguely unpleasant happens, even if only in your mind: e.g., you recall what you perceived to be an unjust act against you, or you hear someone use a word from DL's pantheon of forbidden expressions, you see/HEAR someone eating with their mouth open, etc.

You don't question Cabot Cove's astronomical murder rate

You just do not give a shit anymore. You see through peoples games and ignore is frequently used.

R475- I need to wear my glasses ALL DAY EVERY DAY for EVERTHING- driving, walking, reading since I was 22 years old.

You read 480 posts about the signs you are getting old.

My skin has become very thin and itchy. When I scratch it, I get bloody scratch marks

R482 wtf that sounds serious. I hope you are ok.

Things appear on your face and your GP tells you to get over it.

Your age starts with any number higher than 2.

I have better conversations with myself than with anyone else.

I threw my back out for the first time ever the other day simply by moving a chair I must have rearranged around the house a hundred times before now. Only mid 30s but fuck that felt like a wakeup call.

When all the music sounds like shit

R487 I’m 61 and I now routinely throw my back out when wiping my ass after a morning shit. It just happened for the third time in a month.

Count your blessings.

On the other hand, unlike R488, I am always listening to, and interested in new music. It keeps me young while I am hobbling around dealing with ass-wiping injuries.

R480, you completely missed R475's point.

R490, Another sign of getting old!

You find the days and weeks rushing by as you move from season to season, wondering how many years you have left. Doing so little with your daily life, you'd think would prolong time and yet, it has just the opposite effect.

Wow, r492. My partner and I were just observing the same thing.

Do you have the power of invisibility by choice? It's like you were in the room with us when we were discussing this.

I can't believe I'm already planning for Trick or Treat (a huge thing in my neighborhood, seriously we get at least 250 and more T&Ters). How much candy to buy? When will hours be announced?

When, now, it seems like yesterday we were coming back from Easter Brunch and planning Memorial Day weekend.

r493, though I think my concern is very common for those of a certain age (I guess 65+), I don't think it'd been articulated in the 491 posts before mine.

R494 I would concur.

R489 In case you don't already know, there are assistance tools for reaching behind and wiping.

Another thing about getting old: you learn to swallow your pride along with your pills.

Have you done your Christmas cards yet, R492

Granted they need a head start but a friend in Canberra (fast approaching 80) wrote last week and mentioned they've finished theirs.

You call various repairmen and ask them to come look at your crack.

Tempus fugit for damn sure. It's been a YEAR since QEII died!

Trump and Covid-19 and daily TV pressers and closures and masks and vaccination cards and deaths---all seem like some fevered nightmare of long, long ago.

Never trust a fart.

R500 truth!

[quote]You read 480 posts about the signs you are getting old.

Again ... having forgotten that you've read it the first time through.

Then seeing a reply, agreeing with it because you share the same sentiment - then realizing that you had written the comment a couple weeks ago.

I'm 31 now and the main thing I'm noticing is I can't just "bounce back" or summon energy from nothing. If I don't get good rest, eat well, hydrate, and actually think about maintaining myself then I'll be an aching exhausted mess and it feels like a very sudden change in my level of resilience and natural energy.

This has been such a fun, entertaining and enlightening thread for me. No matter where we live or who we are we truly all deal with the same shit! It’s nice to know I am not alone.

That people shouting into speaker phones in public places annoys me. I really should stop being such a fuddy and get over it.

R505- Yes,

Frieda Claxton you should stop being such a FUDDY DUDDY.

You think of songs like "I Try" (Macy Gray) and "Every Morning" (Sugar Ray) as not exactly current but, still, exemplars of current pop music.

They're from 1999 - not even this century!

Arthritis in my knuckles.

R508 arthritis in every joint of my body, lol.

Announcements of civic projects remind me!

"It is estimated that the new bridge and tunnel complex will be completed in 2049." Yeah, and so will I!

Funerals become your social life.

You enjoy the rain because it gives you an easy out for napping all day.

You view Home Delivery of groceries as the silver lining of Covid-19.

[quote]Funerals become your social life.

That was my thirties.

You're trusted with passing along information about who's in the hospital and why.

You can finally ride a stair lift like Cathleen Nesbitt.

[quote]The voices that used to say 'They're laughing at you! Kill them all!' now just say 'I told you that you should have pooped before leaving the house, but do you ever listen? I don't know why I bother'

Wait. What?

WHAT?!?

I manage a salon and am 54, and about a year ago hired an unassuming and eager young gay stylist.

It was a mistake and a really good facade he presented initially, he was loud, snooty, nasal and obnoxious and very opinionated. Some of his chairside conversation was about trans rights, him dating FTM, and general anathema to me and the great salon vibe I developed. He wasn’t particularly good looking, had a pot belly, and would show up to work looking like a scruffy club kid or gay club barback with glitter sneakers, and stains on his shirt and torn jeans. For awhile I tried to help him because I felt sorry for him and tried to lift him up (bad idea!)

I lived and was a club kid in NYC, and there were a lot of us like this in the 90’s- someone gave me a break long ago and I was trying to repay it.

He would daringly dress just outside the dress code, and quite by accident I found out he lied- and was 33, not 23 (he wears makeup). I also found out he had done porn, was likely hustling, and had promoted out his OnlyFan info to a few clients. When my boss and I called him out on this and trying to seduce another stylist with unwanted sexual advances, he was ambivalent, belligerent and unapologetic. If it had been me, I would’ve horribly embarrassed my boss finding out,

He had several scams knit together for a place to stay and promptly quit when everything fell apart and he was forced moved away. I’m glad because I would’ve had to fire him and it would’ve been really difficult to do so, working for a corporation that requires a lot of paperwork to do so. He also knew his way around a write up, and he tried to seduce me one night too, MARY!

What makes me feel old was the difference in attitude and perspective of this guy-

I remember being 33 as sort of my last hurrah as a gay man, the seven years until hitting 40 and turning FRIGGING INVISIBLE. I really enjoyed those seven years, I knew they were fleeting, and have a pretty good notion this guy has NO IDEA and is going to hit a brick wall when he loses his average looks.

I also resented that I never really got a shred of respect for helping him, when comparing myself and all the people I looked up to and respected when I was young.

R518, what was his porn name? Best revenge is to share that with your fellow eldergays- especially since he apparently lost whatever looks he may have had.

Being in bed by 9:30 pm. On a Friday night.

When you realize no mattress will ever feel as good as the one you had as a child.

The whole driving at night thing involves eye drops, a very clean windshield, lens wipes and eyelid cleaner.

You know who Cathleen Nesbitt was.

R517 I actually laughed out loud! Thank you for your post.

R521 what is it about mattresses? I have a super-expensive mattress with a fancy topper and all the bells and whistles. Boll and Branch sheets, Hungarian goose down pillows, etc. I wake up every day feeling like some hostile fuck has been beating the shit out of me all night.

You finally just stop saying "What?" to your husband when he says something to you in another room that you can't hear and simply say "Yes!!"

Is it 'old' of me to reply to R518, "tl;dr"?

Everything hurts.

You mention an old movie or TV show on DL and someone will inevitably respond, "You must be really old."

[quote]That people shouting into speaker phones in public places annoys me. I really should stop being such a fuddy and get over it.

ITA. Also people who play music videos, utubes or tiktacs in public places.

I wear cheaters on top of your progressive (tri-focal) contacts.

[quote]Being in bed by 9:30 pm. On a Friday night.

FUCKING NIGHT OWL!

If I stay up past 9:30, I am sluggish the next day…

I must be a bat, because I usually stay up to 4am. Although I do sleep in. But still I cant sleep more than 6 hours and that's pushing it.

R512, I often look forward to rain on a Saturday as an excuse to stay home.

My Dad turned 89 on 9/2 and lives 90 minutes away. I haven't seen him since Father's Day. I love the drive up on a nice day but it's a slog. We go up (90 minutes), take him to lunch (about an hour or hour and fifteen), and then drop him off at his home and drive back (another 90 minutes). I feel guilty because he has atrial fibrillation and could die any day. I know I will miss the drive and going to visit him.

[quote]That people shouting into speaker phones in public places annoys me. I really should stop being such a fuddy and get over it.

People still talk on their cellphones? I thought everyone just texts now, which at least is silent.

You see piss pads as a valuable commodity

I'm the same as you, r533. Weekdays I'm up until around 2am, then I get in bed an read for a bit. Weekends I'm in bed around 4am.

I can and do sleep in on the weekends until whatever time I wish. It's pure bliss to sleep with no alarm to wake you up. I often find myself waking up around 1pm on weekends and I am fine with that.

I was also the type who wouldn't go out without showering and making myself look presentable. Covid changed all that and now I don't give a fuck what I look like when I go out to the store or wherever.

Also, I can't live without my bidet attachment. Whenever I spend the night somewhere without one, I feel totally gross and barbaric. Wish more people would get them. Who wants to just smear shit around your ass with dry paper? Grosses me the fuck out now.

R537 needs Metamucil.

The wafers are great, r538 and r537! I prefer the chocolate flavor though the cinnamon spice is also nice.

earrings

Caftans!

I just had my third colonoscopy today. Oy.

Oy indeed. You must have started early: three times today?

They say the third time is the charm. Did they leave something in there the first couple of times? Will you be able to keep anything in there now - seems like a lot of traffic.

1: Looking for any kind senior discount, utilities, cel/internet, food. 2: Knees are shot, have to push myself up from couch/chair with arms. Walking is more difficult. Hearing still good, only a little gray hair. Face has clearly fallen. Eyelids devolved to major baggage. Could use Plexiderm, but would be turning myself into a version of The Leach Woman. Only instead of bumping people off for their pineal glands would have slip off periodically like the heroin addict mother in the Eugene O'Neill play. Like her could excuse myself by saying "I must go fix my hair." 3: When talking to younger people always feel I have to preface statements with the phrase "we used to": Example "we used to have to warm up the car in winter for 5 minutes, not just start it and drive off". 4: Not absolutely not keep up with or like new technology or trends. Recently had to wire a 7.2 surround system and don't understand the need to switch from the kind of easy push-button-insert-wire hookup to the very difficult "banana plugs". On the plus side, after this rewiring, when I turn on the DVD player it automatically turns on the TV. Also when the receiver is on, it controls other AV components. HATE typing into a cellphone. It's generational. Others who hate this can purchase a Bluetooth keyboard that works with a cel.

r544. i just had a partial knee replacement at 54. Was walking normally within 2 weeks. Don't put it off if you need a replacement. And it didn't hurt as bad as they said it would. Two days of pain but then it got better.

You own, wear and enjoy compression socks.

Signs you know you are getting old.

Not knowing basic formatting. I'm looking at you R544. 😂😘

r545, I have some of meniscus worn down on one knee (they said Osteoarthritis), and told me I was too young to get a knee replacement (I was 56 at the time). They just gave me a steroid shot and exercises. I cannot sit cross legged nor kneel completely down, Japanese style.

Many big FARTS

r548, find a different doctor. I was told in my 40's I had the knees of a 68 year old. Tried everything including the chicken shot. Nothing worked. Finally found a surgeon who said, "you need a partial knee replacement and if you wait much longer, you'll need a full knee replacement." So I bit the bullet. I had the same as you...worn down meniscus and Osteroarthrits. I have ZERO regrets about the surgery other than I wish I had gotten it sooner. I'm on week four out from the surgery and can already walk up stairs normally. Down is a little harder, but I'm getting there.

R548 Are you in the US? Who are the "they" who said no? If you were in the UK or Canada, that sounds par for the course.

In the US unless you're in a really stingy HMO, that'd be addressed, usually pretty quickly assuming you're otherwise a suitable candidate for the surgery.

r550, that's the weird thing- I can do stairs all day long (it's what I do for exercise now) and surf, but I can't run. Right now is not a good time, as I'm in the film industry, and I lose my hours for health coverage in 2 days.

r561, yes, with Motion Picture Health and Welfare under Blue Shield. It was with one of their covered providers than someone that I chose.

r552, funny, I'm in the film industry, too. I'm in Southern CA. I can recommend my surgeon if you are near Burbank.

r553, I would like that, thank you so much. They sent me to a place across from NBC in Burbank.

r554, My surgeon is Dr. Christopher Lee. He is fantastic. I'm 4 weeks out from my surgery and just got back from seeing him. He just approved me to start riding my bike again! I'm SO happy.

My surgeon is Dr. Christopher Lee. He's fantastic. He's right by Disney.

sorry, DL kept saying it couldn't post my post!

Thank you for the referral. May I ask how much, if any was covered?

r558, I have Blue Shield of CA but not through the motion picture health and welfare. So far I've paid about $400. I keep waiting for more bills to come but so far, nothing.

R544, 100%!!!

But I gotta tell ya, I must be older because you lost me with "7.2" and "Bluetooth"! 😄👩‍🦳

Haha, r546! My best friend, who is 69 years old today, and I just had this conversation yesterday! Doctor said she needs them (swollen ankles); she said it was hard for her to put them on.

I replied, "Then get the ones with zippers."

"ZIPPERS?! They have zippers?!"

You'd have thought I was the angel Gabriel with the Annunciation!

When you get old you either need compression socks or those socks that are very soft and loose around the ankles. I'm of the later group.

She's so much more glamourous than Diana!

It takes a few tries to get my feet through the leg holes of my underwear or pants. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY!

How old is "old" now is what I'd like to properly know. When does a gay man enter the era of officially getting "old"? What age?

Age 28, R565.

LOL R566.

Discovering a white eyebrow.

^ Err.... eyebrow *hair.*

You cant trust a fart, sometimes it's gas, sometimes it's a mess.

R570 meet R500

Outside, please.

Thank you, r559. What do they do with a partial replacement? Local anesthesia?

No, you're out completely, r572.

I've noticed lately that I have cuts, bumps, bruises, and scratches on various parts of my body, but I have no idea how I got them. Apparently, if I bump into something or scrape against something, my pain tolerance is so high that I don't even notice it. Or I notice it but quickly forget so that later, when I discover the mark, I can't remember the incident. That's definitely a sign that you're getting old.

R574, it could also mean your skin has lost so much collagen that you bruise easily. I know that's my problem.

Rose…. I’m very fond of you.

Yes, you bruise much more easily as you age and it takes the bruises much longer to heal and disappear.

Try "Being fucking forgetful."

You tell the same jokes over and over when someone comes to see you or calls you on your landline!

In D.C., people leap up to offer you their seat on the Metro as though you look like you're about to drop dead.

You can't think of a word and it becomes an obsession until it comes to you. Eventually.

Losing my train of thought.

Walking into a room and immediately forgetting what I went there to get.

To all the easily bruised: Arnica ointment. It helps heal the bruise.

I've been noticing that I also bruise very easily nowadays.

Yes, Arnica is very helpful with healing bruises, cuts, burn marks, etc.

Cringing at the sound of loud children screaming near my house.

Shrieking children have always made me cringe, to be honest. Even when I was a dewy youth.

not going out at night no matter how "fun" it sounds

yes, finding it MUCh harder to lose weight

and yeah, forgetting names, names I just spoke out loud even

[quote] She was born in 2004, the year I started at the establishment and at a similar entry level position. Boy, did that make me feel old!

same here, our new coordinator likely is only a couple years older than when I started working at my institution

Yes, when you work with young people and realize you're old enough to be their grandpa.

It started for me when police officers, teachers, and athletes (particularly baseball players) starting looking young.

I can't find the joint I'm smoking

Rep 547: Looking right back @ you. What I am seeing is The Talking Asshole from an early John Waters film. Please call Roto-Rooter and have your anus de-racheted. This should take care of two problems you have. And while they're back there, have them extract the huge bug you have up your butt. I'll be nice to people like you the day it's been declared Be Kind to Assholes that Stink Like Fish Canneries Month.

^ crotchety!

When younger adults call you sir

When I look closely in the mirror and see my lower face going south.

When I caught a glimpse of my neck in the mirror and spontaneously gobbled

You stop shitting

I only have one mirror in my home bathroom, the typical above-the-sink mirror. Well, I’ve been at a hotel since yesterday and there’s a second mirror in this bathroom. A huge mirror right behind me when I’m standing at the sink. It turns out what I’ve thought of as my bald spot has the circumference of a big cereal bowl. I’m mortified.

Continue here. If you can figure it out.

But low wattage bulbs are