OK DL Doctors & Nurses Part II: Raleigh to the Rescue!

Love the title OP. Sweet dreams to you both

Thanks for the new thread OP. Belly rubs for Raleigh.

Yassss

Great to see another thread.

Hey OP, snazzy new thread! You owe us a photo of your furry overlord, no pressure. His eyes are AMAZING! OK, maybe a wee bit of pressure.

Do fireworks go off where you are, or will Sir Chonky be spared from the horror? Hope your week has gone well, and you have been spared the heat we are getting in the SF Bay Area. Any plans for the 4th, or are you just going to nest at home? I have officially hit my "seen one firework, seen them all" stage of life personally,

Hi All-

I just got back from a funeral service this morning. One of the members of my support group died last week. I don't usually see them outside of the group, but he was a baseball fan and he got me into his team. We were supposed to go to a game back in March but I couldn't go when he could because I was having chemo that day. I tried to get him to other games, but by that time, I think he was just too weak.

I have to indirectly credit him with me getting my cat. I hadn't thought about going to a game at all before he asked me and when I couldn't go on the date he was available, another friend offered to go with me a couple days earlier, which started the joy spiral and led to Raleigh.

He was a really great guy. He had stopped coming to the group after showing up one week where he just looked so gaunt and had lost so much weight, I think he was embarrassed. Or maybe he could see the pity in everyone's eyes? I don't know. I would text or email him about Cubs games and after a while I stopped hearing back. But I still did it. Even if they lost, I wanted to tell him something good one of the team had done. I would like to think he was seeing them.

Something one of his friends let slip out during one of the eulogies made me think that perhaps it was an assisted suicide, which I am all for if one is in extreme pain or has no quality of life. He was just always so upbeat and positive. I felt like a demon in his presence because I am the opposite of upbeat and positive, but he made you want to be that way for him. It was definitely interesting to hear about his younger, wilder, and not so upbeat years. He was 43. It should have been another of us from the group instead of him.

The service was packed. There were close to 200 people there, and about a half dozen or so people spoke. They started to say a rosary for him afterwards and I tried to sit through it, but my back and leg were killing me, and by the third mystery, I remembered why I stopped being Catholic at age 15.

I hate that I never got him to a game. I'll miss him.

Confolences OP. He does sound like a great guy.

OP, so so sorry to hear this. But a Cubbies- are you from Chicago? I am too.

I'm not, but I became a Cubs fan this season because my friend was a Cubs fan and we were going to go see them play the Angels, so I wanted to get to know the team. Then I realized this season that there were a number of players I liked from other teams who were now playing for the Cubs. Before I knew it, I was following them along with my other teams (Mets, Mariners).

Love how much passion you have for life, friendships and new things, OP!

The close up photo that you posted of Raleigh’s dear face is so absolutely goofy and sweet - that is 100% happiness!! So happy you started a new thread. Happy almost 4th Everybody!!

Mr. E, how are you feeling about late next week I am going away for 2 days early next week and will be back late Wed night. Would Thurs the 13th or Fri the 14th work for you?

Hey OP, either day is fine by me!

Hi - I hope that everyone had a Happy 4th of July! Little Sunny’s back legs started to buckle and he was extremely fretful over the 4th of July. I am in the “season of things being not great - car, finances, my mom, my sanity” Everything will turn around but my mom who clogged the double sink, and put a package of bagels in the dishwasher and a package of ground Turkey in a mixing bowl on a top shelf is stressing me out in the extreme. ….. I spent hours at the vet yesterday - his comment “I hope we won’t have to put him down” echoed in my head all day. Upshot I spent most of my rent money on Sunny yesterday. he looks good aside from his kidneys. Thank God. They prescribed a special diet for to prevent renal failure, antibiotics and starting tomorrow I have to take him into the vet for the next 7 days for subcutaneous fluids. how many days will go by before Sunny figures out I am going to snatch him up and put him in the carrier for a ride? my mom wanders so I’ll have to load her up with the walker and the cat. It is supposed to be up to 104 in the valley by the end of the week. At least my spare and crazy unit of 3 is intact and it will just be another adventure. ….. Thank you for listening. I am an extremely optimistic person but I have felt so sad this week. this too shall pass……. OP I hope that you have a good Dr’s appt this week and everyone is getting tan and happy!

OP, please link original thread.

R14, it's actually quite easy to give SubQ fluids at home if running the cat to the vet every day is too taxing. I did it for my cat every three days for two years. I was very worried about having to do it, but it worked out fine. I hope she gets better!

Here you are R15

Hi OP, hope things are purring along nicely in your realm. Speaking of....I believe we were promised more Raleigh snaps? Just a gentle reminder. Please note, the reminders will become less gentle the longer you starve us out. I kid, I kid. Kinda.

I hope you don't mind, but in the meantime I am bringing this amazing one from the last thread. His eyes are truly phenomenal!

R16 Thank you so much for letting me know about doing the Sub Q fluids at home - I am so grateful and relieved that Sunny is doing SO MUCH better! Usually if I have to take him in the car I just have him on the harness - he rides in the car like a dog. But I have been taking him in the Sherpa carrier to the vet and Lord, Lord can you hear him howling from where you are? I think since the original crazy couple who had Sunny as a baby would lock him up and he would knock screens out to escape them - he has real trouble with being in a carrier. I have a few more appts for them to do the fluids and I take over next week. I used to have a dog that I gave insulin but that is over in a few moments. Do you have any tips on keeping the cat relaxed when you give the fluids at home? Did you put Kitty on a counter? ………….Hey OP - Have you gotten your test results? I hope everything is alright. I’m so sorry - I didn’t mean to hijack the thread - I know this is a big week for you!

Hey OP, what's next week looking like for you? As of now, I just have a French lesson on Monday at 12:30, other than that, very unemployed.

Hey, MrE, I am so sorry this week got away from me. I was supposed to go on this short trip, but I wound up putting it off because I wasn't feeling 100%. Lots of back and leg aches and I could not feature driving for 12 hours over two days. I also met with my orthopedist and we are discussing spinal surgery for the end of August as long as I get an all clear from everyone.

And then I kept getting my production meeting pushed back and back and it finally happened today and I'm no more satisfied about things than I had been. And I had to blow up my whole day to accommodate THEM because of last minute moves. So it's just been a bad week.

How about Wednesday? Any time is good!

Aww I’m sorry about everything- take it easy. As far as spine surgery- my friend recently had one for a compacted (I forget the term now) spine, and found out that he had forgotten that he had a hernia surgery with mesh, and things went downhill from there. He just had the new hernia surgery last week, but his spine is feeling great!

Anytime Wednesday looks good for me.

Argh that’s me at r22

Having a bit of a rough time this weekend. Finally talked to my oncologist (by phone because I had to move the appt thanks to work shit and I was none too pleased) and he's being very evasive. He wants me to start on Avastin (which I took in conjunction w all my other chemo drugs during that time I just finished). I asked him about other possibilities, but he wouldn't talk about it on the phone and insisted I come in. He said all my scans look good and that things are getting smaller, but that they won't ever go away.

I looked up Avastin and the side effects are quite troubling- high BP, clots, strokes, etc. and the normal dose for second line defense is every 2-3 weeks for 22 rounds. That's over a year that I can't go anywhere for an extended period of time or travel for work. It also means I have to put off my back surgery because this medication impairs wound healing. So I get to be in pain with no exercising for another year.

Also, I think i mentioned that my other doctor casually dropped the nugget of info about me having a mutation (as if I already knew) a few weeks back. I asked my oncologist what that was about and he said yes, you have a mutation but it's a good thing. (And of course, my head was spinning so much about the Avastin that I neglected to ask what mutation.) However, when I went online, I could find NO evidence of a mutation in colon cancer being beneficial. Not one. I know it isn't Lynch Syndrome, because I was tested for that the first time around in 2016. If it's BRAF or KRAS, then I'm looking at 20 months. At this point, I'm starting to make lists of things to get rid of so that the place isn't so cluttered when I die.

I have an appointment with another oncologist on Aug 2 for a second opinion, and I'm also going to make an appt at UCLA to get a third opinion. But needless to say, it's been a very depressing weekend. I think Raleigh has picked up on it because he hasn't left my side.

Wow OP - damn that’s crummy. I am so sorry! I googled Avastin and there is so much about it = it could be all sorts of different reasons they are giving it to you. But you are right - the side effects sound unpleasant to say the least. I think that it is awful that you have to wait until Aug 2 for the appointment - the anxiety will drive you crazy! ….I am glad that you are getting a second and third opinion. I have said it before - the fact that you have stayed sane and pleasant this year shows what a strong character you have. I hope that your A C is working. Give Raleigh a Boop.

Dang OP, that sucks about Avastin and your spine surgery. Would it be possible to start the drug after your spine surgery at all? It's only a month wait to start the drug after surgery.

Could it be a blood mutation instead? And don't feel obligated to meet up if you don't feel up to it.

No, I would like to meet up, and I promise not to be all doom and gloom. Let me know what time works Wed.

All day, you chose the time- it was Alfred, right? The one by Glossier is closed- the one on Melrose place is still open.

Oh, you're kidding! I loved that one in the atrium. I did notice it was getting smaller and smaller. I just made a 9am appt on Wed w/ my oncologist to go over things, so how about 10:30am at Melrose Pl? Is that too early?

10:30 is fine. I'll be wearing an obnoxious neon orange hat and shoes. Don't be surprised by my visage :)

I'll wear a Cubs cap

Confirming, but asking you to give me a short grace period just in case the dr keeps me waiting and I'm late. My appt is at 9am and it's just an information thing, but he loves to be fashionably late. The coffee place is not even 10 min away, so 10:30 should be fine, but be patient since I don't have a way to alert you. Thanks : )

Hey no worries! I live a 10 minute walk away.

Sitting inside.

I’m looking at 11. I’m sorry!

If you haven’t left yet, the Glossier in the alley is open, but has a limited menu- it’s the “Glossier” Alfred.

Hey OP - I hope that your appointment with your Dr went well.

It wasn't great, but I am still processing things I was told in the meeting and then also the reports I got afterwards. It's a very confusing time right now, but as soon as I know what's what, I'll let you all know.

I'm also a little pissed off at my producing partner, who is the only one, business-wise, who knows about my cancer and who got super passive-aggressive with me when I told her I needed another day to get something together that there really isn't quite the ticking clock as she imagines. It's my project and I brought her on (with zero experience) and some days she acts like I work for her.

Right now, I'm having coffee, gearing up to get to work on it after finishing this week's ep of And Just Like That and rubbing a fat cat's belly.

At least yesterday wasn't a total drag. MrE and I had a fantastic time at coffee. MrE, when I left and was on my way to the car, I checked my watch and realized we had been sitting talking for almost 3 1/2 hours. I swear the time flew by. Thank you for that!

It was my pleasure OP, I was also shocked to find out how much time has passed by. You've had an interesting life, and I really like how passionate you are about your projects. Send me that link about the Glam Rock/Weimar Berlin chanteuse guy please.

That's nice, you two. I tried to have a chatty coffee date today, but the bus into town was not running so we postponed. Drat.

OP - Glad to hear you and Mr E were able to get together and put a face to “post.” Is the heat a problem for you? It is probably more comfortable than the freezing (for LA) weather for months. ….. Frustrating about your producing partner - but isn’t that always the way? That has happened to me in times past - you really like someone work wise - you are a cheerleader or mentor and somehow the tables turn and it gets wonky. I hate that. Good luck - I hope that smooths out…….. I took Sunny for his final Subcutaneous fluid appt yesterday. Efore I do it myself. I should have skipped it. The vet tech Samantha was really good with Sunny - she helped me get the needle in and hold it and keep him calm. I was pretty ready - BUT I prepaid and had one more yesterday. Samantha wasn’t there - it was another girl. We went in back - i unzipped the top of the carrier and this big girl reached in and snatched Bony little old Sunny by the scruff of his neck and held him up in the air with his little feet flying - she grabbed him up like he was a feral raccoon! Sam and I had left him in his carrier for the procedure - this gal wrapped him in a blanket and roughly in the table - Sunny was screaming - then she got a huge LONGGG needle like a crochet hook and jammed him with it - he kept seaming and pulled away and she reached her arm up and was ready to jam it again - I finally stopped being a worm and told her to stop manhandling him and to get a smaller needle . I was SO MAD - I have to start doing this for him everyday - after that we are both going to be tentative. I am going to have to let the vet know about it - I just don’t know what to say. It was really bad after receiving such good care there. ….. Oh - I thought this is funny. for any “Sopranos” people. My birthday was Tuesday. my mom was super weepy and agitated over who knows what. Then she starts with the “I’m going to DIE Today!” I told her “Don’t you DARE die on my birthday!” Then I thought - OMG - I am living with Livia Soprano! by the afternoon she wanted to get her Real Estate License back. ……. sorry for the ramblings - I hope everyone has a well and happy Saturday!

OMG, how HORRIBLE for you and Sunny. I would absolutely report her to the vet. And I am so glad you are doing it yourself from now on. If you have any questions about it, please reach out, because I am an old hand at it. You can definitely do smaller, thinner needles, but I will say that the smaller the needle, the longer the fluids will take, so if Sunny is not patient (and really, few cats are), then you may opt to go for a small/medium sized needle (and I can look up both gauges I used and let you know). But you shouldn't need a gigantic needle like you described.

I will also say this- the tinier the needle, the easier it is to slip out of her scruff, so don't get one too small, thinking it's going to hurt her less. It will definitely take more time to do the fluid and you may find you have to put it in more than once.

I don't know how you plan to have things set up, and obviously you should do what works best for Sunny and makes her most comfortable. With my cat, we were on the floor, and I put him in his large bed, which was in the dining room bordering the kitchen. I got everything ready before I even came near him- Put the tubing in the bag, got the needle attached, etc. (whatever needed to be done at the stage the bag was in) and hung it on a pole I got so that it was very vertical and could drip as quickly as possible. Then i got the cat, put him in his bed and inserted the needle. He didn't like it, and some days he was squirrelly and tried to escape, and some days he did escape. If this happens with Sunny, don't terrorize her, let her go and pick up on the next dose. Some is better than none.

Good luck and Happy Birthday!

OP - You are a Rock Star - your voice was in my head - the Sub Q Whisperer! I did Sunny’s first fluid treatment - I won’t jinx myself but it went so well that I almost let him go because I thought I wasn’t doing it at all! … He has been sort of nervous and fussy since that appt on Friday. He hid a lot yesterday. I read your nice post last night and it bolstered my resolve and I got towels and a little bed set on the Long bathroom counter so I would be ready. After his breakfast this morning I did some running around but then set my resolve - I warmed his fluid bag - got it all ready - then I couldn’t find him!! Poor guy - it turns out that I had accidentally shut him in the garage for 4 hours! But I got him - he was sort of funky twisty in the towel I tented his skin and slid the 18 needle in - and promptly forgot how to turn on the saline flow!!! I flipped it one way and he yowled so that must have been it. I just remembered you saying that if he doesn’t get it all or if it isn’t perfect that doesn’t matter - just do it again the next day. Thank you for being my mental cheerleader! Sunny is super relaxed now so I think that it worked! THANK YOU! …. I hope that you and sweet Raleigh are having a happy day!

Oh, I'm so glad you are feeling more confident about it. (And sorry, Sunny- I thought you were a girl for some reason!)

I'm here if you need anything more. Glad you conquered it and I'm sure it will start to feel like a habit for both of you soon enough.

Well - first Sunny is spelled the female way. Not the male Sonny way. The crazy Manson like girl who would lock him in her hoarder house his first year called him “Sunshine” - this woman was just so icky that I just couldn’t call him that but he knew his name - so I just called him Sunny for his sweet personality. my other cats passed away in the last 3 years, so as Sunny has reached 15 I have babied him so much he has turned into a little cat version of “Niles Crane!” He is unusually beautiful though. My other cats passed away before I could do anything about it. Being able to give Sunny the fluids to give us more time means the world to me. …… How is your scalp OP - was your Dr able to give you any relief for it?

Hi OP and Raleigh ands friends! I hope that everyone had a good week. I can’t believe that July is (almost) over. Where did it go? I hope that everyone is staying cool and maybe even having some fun this weekend.

Hey all, sorry for not posting as much lately. Gearing up for surgery tomorrow on my spine, which will have me recovering at home steadily for a couple weeks afterwards, so plenty of time to post then. I've just been trying to "bend-proof" the apartment this week before then. I've bought some old man "grabbers" and an extended litter scoop. I set Raleigh's food up on the dining room table, so now we get to eat together for the next month.

I have some new news regarding my chemo journey. None of it's good, I don't know if it's horrible (it doesn't please me, that's for sure) but all of it is confusing and I'm trying to sort it all out. Will let you all know about it next week when I have some more answers (I hope). I am now off to brew a pot of coffee since I can't eat or drink after midnight, and that means no coffee in the morning, so I'm trying to stave off the caffeine withdrawal headache by having some tonight. Surgery is early and out patient, so I should be home by 1pm if all goes well.

xo

Good Luck! Good Wishes!!

Good luck, Raleigh's dad! Hope all goes well.

Sending love and support to you and Raleigh, OP. Besos and scritches.

We need to get you some caffeine patches stat! Sending positive surgery and recovery vibes. And let me know if I can help- I am bendy!

Checking in on you OP. Sending good thoughts your way.

Hey there. I'm doing okay. I'm still having certain aches and pains post-surgery, but it went well (I think. I hope.) and I'm just home recovering for another week. I'm having sciatic pain still, but the surgeon said that's to be expected for a couple weeks. I don't even remember anything about the surgery. I have no idea how I even got on my stomach for them to access my back, but I guess I must have.

Saw a 2nd oncologist last week who told me two disturbing things- the first is that (in his opinion) I will need to be on some form of chemo drug for the rest of my life. The 2nd thing is that he was mildly appalled that I have been off of all of them for two months. He asked why and I had no answer. I spoke to my current oncologist a couple days later who told me that he doesn't know if I will have to be on meds the rest of my life. He prefers to take things one step at a time, and this next step will be more than a year. I was satisfied with that answer, but when I asked if he thought it was a problem that I've been off meds for two months, his response was, "Let's hope not," as though it was my doing and I was acting against his advice.

I think I may go with this new oncologist. My only misgiving is that his office is a 45 min-1 hour drive each way and that's not something I want to commit to if I don't know how the drugs will be treating me yet. So I have a lot to think about and some decisions to be made.

Had some good news in my professional life this week and it's done wonders for my mood, so I'm grateful for that. Hope everyone is doing well.

Have a relaxing and restful weekend, OP. I hope Mr. Raleigh is helping around the house!

Wow, that is a lot to have to wrap your head around OP - You are in a “Goldilocks” situation with your oncologists. One is a bit too little in satisfying what you need - the next one is a TAD strong with what he thinks you should do. I hope that you can come to a situation that you can feel confident with. The worry would be maddening. …. I hope that you are feeling a little better after your surgery. …. congratulations on your business news - you deserve a victory right now - plus it is a reminder that there is more to you than this situation. ……….. Laundry and watching those poor people in Maui for me on this milf Saturday. I hope that you and your sweet pal Raleigh have a happy or happy-ish day!

Not Milf!! I meant mild!!! ^

I took Sunny for a checkup with Handsome Sullen Vet this afternoon. I took (lugged I affectionately add) my old mother so she could shake off the dust of the day AND she thinks the vet is handsome. After the the appointment I left my mom and Sunny in the car to run into Vons for a tub of Oxiclean and a frozen pizza. 3 1/2 - 4 minutes later I step outside to find - is 4 a coven? A coven of Karens snapping photos of my car and me and shrieking “Shame, shame, SHAME on you for leaving your mother in the car!! “ I have been in a flop sweat for the last 45 minutes that the police are going to show up at my door for a wellness check. ….. I hope everyone is having a good week. OP I hope that you are feeling better after surgery!!

Wow, I'm so sorry. I hope you shooed them away! How did the check up go?

It was just so odd - I worry about so many things - running into the the store wasn’t one of them. The vet said that Sunny looks MUCH better than last month. Keep him on the Renal food “The rest of his life. REST of his LIFE!” yes - I understand … He ran bloodwork that we are waiting for and his blood pressure is up. He gave me medication for it “He will take this the rest of his life - REST of HIS LIFE” Yes, I understand. So unless there is something new in his bloodwork it was a very good visit. He has the Renal disease but at this point it is manageable. As long as he is happy and isn’t in pain. I was relieved because although my vet is excellent (after series of clunky vets with other pets over the years) he is excellent but has a bit of a serious “Heathcliff” Olivier - not the cat - in his manner!! ….. I hope that Raleigh has conquered his scooties and continues to be a happy little fella. I hope you are well and get relief from worries once in a while ….. I guess this storm that is kicking up is going to hit LA and might be a big deal ….. I guess it is time to stock up or prepare a bit.

The storm will be slowed down considerably by the 69f sea temperature around LA. Hurricanes and tropical storms need sea water of above 86f to thrive.

Wow, I'm not sure if something went wrong, if I did too much today too soon after surgery or what, but the pain in my spine is so severe, I'm almost ready to go to the ER. The only reason I'm not is because I don't think they will be able to do anything. I am desperately hoping my dr. is in the office tomorrow so I can talk to him about it. I'm honestly not sure what happened. the only thing I can say is I did more activity today than usual. I cleaned, vacuumed, did laundry, etc. and all of that included a LOT of bending. I may have overdone it. I took four Advil, but that isn't doing a thing for the pain. I feel like I'm back where I was last November, when I was in so much pain from the bone mets that I wanted to just end it. I cannot go through that again.

Damn r61, that sounds terrible. Back pain is the worst. Please let us know what happens, a lot of people here are rooting for you.

Hi OP - were you able to see your doctor to help you with your back pain? Did you go to the ER? Has it eased up a bit? Are you and sweet Raleigh ready to brave the upcoming heatwave?

Hi OP and Raleigh. I don't want to get in your hair/fur, just feeling a bit concerned and thought I would check in. Sending cozy thoughts your way. Besos and scritches.

We don’t even have to get personal. On “Hazel” - did you like her first family with Don DeFore and Whitney Blake? Or did you prefer her younger employers - Lynn Borden & Ray Fulmer? ……….. Hope you are OK!

Yup I’m concerned too, it’s been nearly a week since OP posted. Hope all is well OP and you’re just getting some much-needed meds and chilling.

Sorry, all. Didn't mean to be dramatic or worry anyone. I'm here. It's been an odd week. I started the oral chemo last Friday and I also changed my allergy med regimen, which now has me on 5 different pills throughout the day. That has just knocked me on my ass and I have been groggy pretty much all day. And still a hive or three get through. Yesterday I woke up from a nap with a big one on my right wrist.

I managed to stay awake long enough yesterday to get the results of my new brain MRI and things are still, thankfully, improving. We discussed doing more radiation on my back and I told him I'd like to wait until I'm fully healed from the spine surgery.

I also found out yesterday a friend died. It wasn't unexpected, but still upset me greatly.

I appreciate the concern, and again, I'm sorry for worrying anyone. Here's a picture of Ralls looking demure as a mea culpa!

OP thanks for checking in! No apologies necessary btw. Glad to hear you’re hanging in there. And Raleigh is so effing cute!!!

Don't you just wanna bite that little pink nose? I live with him and I can barely resist it!

After my surgery, I got lazy and let my beard grow back. I decided to keep it for the near term, but I think I'll have to shave it off now. Raleigh's new thing is jumping on my stomach running up my chest and licking my face like Dino from the Flintstones. Only now that I have the beard, he thinks it's his personal cat grass and he bites it and rips it out of my chin. Hurts like hell.

Hi OP - thanks for giving us the heads up. I am sure that everybody you talk to “has a friend …” BUT I have a friend - who went through a surprisingly treacherous bout with cancer and seemed to be on chemo and radiation forever. her chemo treatments end July 22 - after much “Oh boy - all done” She started the oral chemo not long after and had her last does last week - ok Aug 2023 - a year. Hang in there you pull through it - miserable as it is. … So happy that you and Raleigh “saved” each other. Have a great day!

[QUOTE] took four Advil, but that isn't doing a thing for the pain

Of course they didn't! May I ask why you are so resistant to taking opiate painkillers? You come across as something of a martyr.

R71, really? I’m not the OP, but many people are resistant to opiates, and not because we want to be martyrs (what a quaint thought). I, for one, vomit horribly when I’m on them, no matter what I do—take with lots of food, etc. And you have to jump through hoops to get them (yes, even if you’re a cancer patient).

Don't they make you horribly constipated as well?

They do indeed, r73.

R71, I have tried various opiate painkillers on several occasions throughout my adult life and they don't really do a thing for me other than fuck up my normal sleeping rhythms and constipate me. I have found that 4 Advil will at least take the edge off the pain in most circumstances.

If you've ever had narcotic-caused constipation, it's not something you'd be looking to repeat. It's pretty awful. Even anti-nausea drugs constipate me terribly (and also don't tend to do a thing for me) so I try to use stuff like ginger drops, or when things get bad, medical marijuana, which both help.

Hi OP - I hope that your back has become bearable for you you. How crummy to get back surgery and wind up so awful. ….. Although Sunny is tolerating the Sun Q fluids - sad handsome vet said Sunny’s #s aren’t good. He has me giving Sunny bloodpressure meds that make him dopey. I also have to give him these enormous probiotic pills twice a day. He has to swallow them whole so I have to hold open his mouth and jam it to the back of his throat with my finger. The poor cat hates me now. ….. We are Charter Spectrum and my mom can’t live without Dallas Raines and the abc 7 local newscasters. And Jeopardy. I’ve left my disgruntled cat and mom and I am catching up on “And Just Like That “ in another room……. I hope everyone - and Raleigh stays happy and cool this weekend!

Hey there. Back is feeling much better. Just some residual pain. I start the infusion a week from today and I have a week off from my oral chemo. I am really freaking out about money. In that I have none. I have gone through my savings and have been trying to find something I can do remotely with no success. Starting to worry I'll be homeless by the end of the year.

Every time I call somewhere and need to talk to a customer service rep and they get shitty with me, I want to say- Sick of your job? I'll take it. And I'll be much nicer.

Man, if I could go back in time, I'd save every penny I could just to keep this anxiety at bay. I'm sure it's not helping me get rid of the cancer. At least my eating has gotten back on track. I have been able to resist the sugar cravings that started back up during chemo and then pretty much just became the beginnings of an addiction. I have now gone 6 days without eating sweets, which, for my recent pattern, is pretty great. I am not going to "reward" myself by giving in once a week or once a month. I know the cancer is fed on sugar, but for some reason, the kind of chemo I just went through and had in 2016 really makes me crave it. I am hoping that this new oral chemo doesn't have the same effect. I think it took me about a month (so two rounds) to start craving sugar. Let's see what happens after my next round of oral chemo.

Hope everyone has a good weekend. And if you know of any reputable remote job places, do let me know. Thanks!

Hi Op -The $ struggle is a nightmare - if I could go back in time I would change SO MANY things! BUT - ok I am out here in LA, also. My neighbor ‘Gu’ who lives up the street is a nice guy in his early 50s and is a “car guy” more than anything. He works on all of the cars on the street. He is nice but a bragger. He is married with 5 kids and his wife just had another baby. BUT - he works from home booking appts and billing for Kaiser. I have TRIED to get him to spill a connection because I could use it but he doesn’t share much. BUT he is making a very nice living doing it and he is totally legit. So you might try googling Kaiser remote work California. I always fall for everything - at least this is legit. I know the money anxiety is awful.

Guy not GU - my eyes are going!

Thanks. That's a great tip!

Hi Op - did you start your infusion today? And ok - I’m going to be dumb here - what is that? Have you been able to stay off of sugar? Didn’t this whole thing start a year ago in September? Anyway, hoping you are well and wishing you and Raleigh the best!

Hello. Yes, I did start infusion yesterday, and thank you so much for remembering.

Yes, believe it or not, it was a year ago this past week that I started the first thread asking what this could be on the night I wound up going to the ER and then being told it was cancer. It has gone by incredibly quickly, but certainly not uneventfully.

Infusion, R81, is when you get the chemo drugs administered intravenously as opposed to orally, though there are other types of non-chemo infusion. It's the method, not the drug.

It went well. The facility is nice, the people were nice, and they actually listened to me. When I said I didn't want the anti-nausea meds because they don't do anything for me and they block me up, they listened and didn't give them to me, as opposed to my last oncologist's office who basically patted my head and gave them to me anyway.

I also had to get to an appointment down the road to get an ultrasound. I thought I might have another blood clot in my leg from particular pains I've been having this week. When I first did chemo in 2016, I got a blood clot in the same area after my first chemo dose, so I know what the sensations feel like. I have had a few false alarms over the years, but I have been told that it's always better to check with those things. The oncologist's office made the appointment for me. When I told my infusion nurse about it, she made sure that I got out of there in time, even though I was scheduled to be there a little longer the first day. And she did it without making me feel bad about it.

Met with the nutritionist on Tuesday and it was pretty much stuff I already knew, but she offered a few enlightening observations about the way that I eat which I think will be helpful. No sugar since then, which has been okay, but I expect to have a withdrawal soon.

I have had a few encounters this past week that have brought my mortality to the forefront. I do wish I could just forget about it and just live in the moment, and sometimes that actually does happen, but sooner or later something always comes around to bring me back to reality. I guess I should be grateful I even have those times at all.

Raleigh is doing great and has been super cuddly. I've started to really rely on his company recently and have become very attached to him. I am so glad I have him.

Hope all is well with everyone. This week... time for the fall vaccines!

Hi OP - I have said it multiple times - you have navigated through this year like a warrior plus - taking the time to be Raleigh’s hero - that it really a special thing. That poor little Chonk would probably still be waiting for a home and someone to love him. You both won the lottery there. ….. Do you prefer the infusion chemo or taking it orally? That is good that they listened to you about the anti nausea meds - you know best about that now. Those brushes with thinking about your own mortality are like earworms from a song - they can run over and over in your mind and make you crazy. …… I have been fighting off acute anxiety this week physically, financially and emotionally caring for my sick mom and sick cat and swiftly getting behind in bills and optimism - it is getting hard. As long as the landlord doesn’t move is out for their daughter I can tuck down and push through. I have been feeling my old friends pulling away a bit. I can feel some impatience on their end that I’m STILL in a situation. Almost all of them are happily married and own their own homes or have trust funds - I can’t exactly mention that my Cal Fresh card is already out for the month. Then I worry that my my mom and or Sunny may pass soon ( It could be years) and I have not handled things well. …. Sorry OP and and anyone else - My mom doesn’t temper most of our conversations or she cries. This little space here CV on this thread has given me some company and relief . I am shallow though - if Sunny and I hit on a good Law and Order SVU rerun all will be right with the world!! …… Have a good week and I hope that your back continues to get better!

Thank you for your lovely message, and I am very happy that you have found some solace on this thread.

My mom died about 5 years ago. It was a difficult time and I was pulled in several different directions, trying to make everything right for everyone while being confronted by a mother who had changed radically due to rapid onset dementia. I had guilt for a while about not handling things well, especially because two years prior, when I had my first cancer diagnosis, surgery and treatment, my mother stepped up in a way that I had never seen her behave before. She was strong, confident, and did not need to lean on me (because she knew I needed it to be the other way around). I couldn't have been more proud of her, and I felt for a long time that I had let her down in her last couple of months of life. I have realized since that I was thrown into a situation that was incredibly complicated, was trying to keep her partner from becoming homeless, trying to keep their finances from collapsing, and unraveling all the damage my mother had done over the past few years to her own situation without telling me about it. You seem like a caring, thoughtful person, so I cannot imagine you would not handle things to the best of your ability. Try not to let the guilt or the "what ifs" win.

I slept a shit ton this weekend. I think the combo of oral and infusion just knocked me out. Of course I would prefer oral because it means fewer trips to the doctor, but this particular infusion is so much easier and more pleasant than the ones I've done in the past because I do not have to bring the pump home with me and wear it for two days as it feeds the meds into my system and then go back to have it removed. This one is a one hour infusion and I'm free. The drive is long, but these days, the only time I seem to ever listen to music is when I drive, so I don't mind it so much.

My chubby cat is velcro-ed to my side. I love him so much.

Oh, I forgot to tell you all- I got a job! It's a remote position, so I can work safely. Man, it was in the nick of time, too. Phew.

I start this week.

OP - Thank you so much for your thoughtful message and sharing what you went through with your mom. It is such an odd and slow motion situation - emotions sometimes get the better of me.although I’m sorry you had to go through it - it gives me some perspective to keep on trucking! …. Congratulations on your new job! Whew! That is a happy way to start the week! you and Raleigh stay safe!

Raleigh is feeling very mellow today.

Yay! A new Raleigh snap! Fantastic news about the job. Congratulations. And you are sleeping deeply, which is also great to hear. Even the transfusions seem to be as mellow as possible, with some nice staff to boot. You certainly seem to have found a good luck chonk. You get to have ALL of the sugar you could possibly want and then some, it has simply transmogrified into a furry form.