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When was the last time you used a cucumber…

To satisfy your anal hunger.

I am always amused by these very young guys who use fruits and vegetables as a dildo. They lock themselves in a closet or the bathroom and fuck away

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by Anonymousreply 95June 5, 2023 2:11 AM

Love that hairy hole.

by Anonymousreply 1June 3, 2023 12:07 AM

This was hot, who is he? The clip reminded me how much nicer blond pubes tend to look.

by Anonymousreply 2June 3, 2023 12:43 AM

Because they’re blonde. They aren’t dark.

R2 not a porn star. Just a guy

by Anonymousreply 3June 3, 2023 12:44 AM

I don't know how to pronounce it.

by Anonymousreply 4June 3, 2023 12:49 AM

A cucumber was featured in a recent episode of Next Door Studios series, Fraternity Fantasies.

[quote] ΝΔΩ Fraternity Fantasies: Deepthroat It, Pledge. Justin Matthews has his hands full with pledge Trevor Harris. Trevor missed pledge dinner and doesn't seem to understand the importance of being punctual. Justin decides that he will teach Trevor a lesson ... one that involves a cucumber and a super hard cock.

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by Anonymousreply 5June 3, 2023 1:12 AM

There’s an OF whore who also used a cucumber recently and OF took down his video. They don’t allow that on there.

by Anonymousreply 6June 3, 2023 1:13 AM

Funny, OPs guy looks like a straight guy who likes anal stim.

by Anonymousreply 7June 3, 2023 1:17 AM

R7 he probably is. They exist.

by Anonymousreply 8June 3, 2023 1:19 AM

1982. For reals.

by Anonymousreply 9June 3, 2023 1:22 AM

Honestly, that’s a fantastic video. The twink is gorgeous, with plump lips (reminds me of Tye Sheridan), thick thighs, blond ringlets and a tight sphincter. Then he sniffs the scent of his musky hole on the veggie! FUCK YES to grooving on MANSMELLS! There’s nothing more alluring that natural man odors and body functions.

I’m sure he’ll grow up and become some passaround pig bottom with a septum piercing and a blown out rosebud. But for these few moments, he is a glorious arch-twink, a young, pure prince discovering the ways of male tenderness and sensuality, giving into his carnal desires and eventually showering us all in his delectable fluids. It’s a religious experience 🙌

by Anonymousreply 10June 3, 2023 1:37 AM

Muriel delete this thread ASAP!

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by Anonymousreply 11June 3, 2023 1:40 AM

[quote] Then he sniffs the scent of his musky hole on the veggie! FUCK YES to grooving on MANSMELLS! There’s nothing more alluring that natural man odors and body functions.

Eeewwwwwwww!!!!

by Anonymousreply 12June 3, 2023 1:41 AM

Did he do this on a webcam for $$$$?

by Anonymousreply 13June 3, 2023 1:53 AM

"But for these few moments, he is a glorious arch-twink..."

When did Noel Coward start writing porn reviews?

by Anonymousreply 14June 3, 2023 2:06 AM

There's at least one poster on this thread who would buy that condom-clad cucumber from him.

by Anonymousreply 15June 3, 2023 2:21 AM

He looked like he was praying when that cucumber penetrated his bussy ring 🙏🏼

by Anonymousreply 16June 3, 2023 2:25 AM

[quote] Then he sniffs the scent of his musky hole on the veggie! FUCK YES to grooving on MANSMELLS!

Men and women’s shitters smell the same. WOMANSMELLS!

by Anonymousreply 17June 3, 2023 2:27 AM

R13 no. It’s a private message he sent to someone on Instagram and they leaked it

by Anonymousreply 18June 3, 2023 2:30 AM

I remember a story an older guy told me once. A kid showed up in the Chicago ER with an apple in his rectum. They needed a parents ok to remove it, so the father showed up and told the docs to leave it there for awhile and refused to give his consent.

by Anonymousreply 19June 3, 2023 2:41 AM

While there are situations where people end up in a hospital because things get stuck in their holes, even if you’re a minor teen the doctor doesn’t need permission from a parent to remove it.

by Anonymousreply 20June 3, 2023 2:44 AM

My cotton candy flavored lube turned that cucumber into a sweet pickle.

by Anonymousreply 21June 3, 2023 2:59 AM

R20-They did in 1974.

by Anonymousreply 22June 3, 2023 3:02 AM

I always liked using the waxed fruit, OP. It would melt away quickly, bringing back hilarious memories of when my old boyfriend would attempt to enter and make love to me. :D

by Anonymousreply 23June 3, 2023 3:16 AM

Sounds gross r23

by Anonymousreply 24June 3, 2023 3:35 AM

“You feel like a cucumber, such a man! 😩”

by Anonymousreply 25June 3, 2023 3:44 AM

I hope he didn’t put it back in the refrigerator!

by Anonymousreply 26June 3, 2023 3:56 AM

Right in front of my salad!

by Anonymousreply 27June 3, 2023 4:18 AM

He sliced it up and made cucumber sandwiches for Aunt Augusta.

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by Anonymousreply 28June 3, 2023 4:31 AM

Love how his eyes roll back several times. And of course the obligatory shit inspection after the initial insertion. I have to say I've never seen someone deeply inhaling the scent of their bussy before, that was nice as well.

Hopefully he doesn't kill himself now that this has been leaked.

by Anonymousreply 29June 3, 2023 4:41 AM

EAT. MY. SHIT.

by Anonymousreply 30June 3, 2023 4:43 AM

Wonder what kind of dressing he used for lube?

by Anonymousreply 31June 3, 2023 5:11 AM

Do gay men really do this? Unless you’re really ugly, it’s not that hard to find a real cock.

by Anonymousreply 32June 3, 2023 5:15 AM

R32 What if you aren’t wired to just jump into that? Sometimes nature calls and you just gotta shove in a real eggplant.

by Anonymousreply 33June 3, 2023 5:18 AM

R32 not everyone is ready to jump into sex with people. Some people like to explore on their own privately before they are ready for that.

by Anonymousreply 34June 3, 2023 5:20 AM

r16 "bussy ring" ??!! Is that a real term? I am now on a mission to make it so if it is not already!

by Anonymousreply 35June 3, 2023 5:23 AM

Maybe he's a vegan and just not into meat, r32. Did you ever think about that?

by Anonymousreply 36June 3, 2023 6:17 AM

He is very cute, and the expression of complete focus on his face is hot. You can tell just how much he likes getting his hole worked—and who can blame him? That being said, I've never fucked myself with a cucumber or any other phallic object like this. I have always been highly paranoid after hearing the horror stories of people getting things like this stuck in their rectums. No thanks. The only thing going in my ass is a real dick attached to a human, or a toy with some sort of flared base.

by Anonymousreply 37June 3, 2023 7:35 AM

This was obviously screen-recorded from Instagram, and the account he shared it from is still active if you search it on there (private, of course, and no followers). I wonder who he was sending this to? I can't imagine it was to a woman. I'd venture a guess that he likes the cock, deeply.

by Anonymousreply 38June 3, 2023 8:08 AM

Smart guy used a condom.

by Anonymousreply 39June 3, 2023 9:19 AM

I am surprised nobody has commented on the DM conversation with the recipient that pops up at the end of the screen recording. You can also see that he sent multiple videos.

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by Anonymousreply 40June 3, 2023 11:41 AM

Those fluttering eyes indicate he was really enjoying himself. I love watching guys pleasure themselves with toys (or in this case, vegetables) when you can tell they're uninhibited and actually into it. It's a major turn-on. He is adorable.

by Anonymousreply 41June 3, 2023 11:54 AM

He looks like Wendy's ugly blond brother.

by Anonymousreply 42June 3, 2023 12:14 PM

Whimps! I used a full size bat at that age. Was in the army at the time and didn't want anybody to know.

Also used queue balls from the unit's pool table while in the shower to pound out a load or two.

by Anonymousreply 43June 3, 2023 12:20 PM

I wonder if he put back in the refrigerator so the family could have it for dinner.

by Anonymousreply 44June 3, 2023 12:22 PM

Later on that evening, mom is wondering why her cucumber salad smells like Astroglide

by Anonymousreply 45June 3, 2023 1:13 PM

[quote]Smart guy used a condom.

I'm pretty sure you can't get pregnant from cucumber seeds.

by Anonymousreply 46June 3, 2023 1:20 PM

Was it a burpless cucumber?

by Anonymousreply 47June 3, 2023 1:21 PM

[quote]I'm pretty sure you can't get pregnant from cucumber seeds.

r46 not in your old dried up batcave. This fertile young man however.....

by Anonymousreply 48June 3, 2023 1:32 PM

[quote] [R13] no. It’s a private message he sent to someone on Instagram and they leaked it

That is really shitty.

by Anonymousreply 49June 3, 2023 1:58 PM

[quote] I remember a story an older guy told me once. A kid showed up in the Chicago ER with an apple in his rectum. They needed a parents ok to remove it, so the father showed up and told the docs to leave it there for awhile and refused to give his consent.

That seems very unlikely, unless it happened more than 50 years ago. Bowel obstruction is an emergency. They would have removed it and maybe called child protective services to determine how an apple got into a minor's rectum.

by Anonymousreply 50June 3, 2023 2:01 PM

[quote]Sometimes nature calls and you just gotta shove in a real eggplant.

A real eggplant wouldn't fit. You'd have to use one of the smaller Asian eggplants.

by Anonymousreply 51June 3, 2023 2:51 PM

"Later on that evening, mom is wondering why her cucumber salad smells like Astroglide"

I wish. Unfortunately, it smelled like his father's saliva.

by Anonymousreply 52June 3, 2023 3:08 PM

R38 not necessarily. You’d be shocked how many people still get catfished. It’s especially easy to catfish people from smaller towns in the south or Midwest. Idk why but they tend to be more naive than people who grow up in cities, especially big cities.

And you’d be shocked how many young men do weird kinky shit thinking the “girl” they’re speaking to is into seeing that. And someone doesn’t need to be attracted to men to enjoy anal. That’s what toys (or vegetables) are for.

However, he was clearly betrayed and it sucks the person (most likely a catfish) did that to him

by Anonymousreply 53June 3, 2023 3:27 PM

R40 that exchange just shows he isn’t a gay boy. His responses are very much what a straight boy would say. He clearly thinks he’s being kinky for a girl into that stuff.

by Anonymousreply 54June 3, 2023 3:28 PM

R50 exactly. I said the same thing. A Doctor doesn’t need the parents approval for an EMERGENCY

by Anonymousreply 55June 3, 2023 3:30 PM

Did no one understand the apple in the rectum was in Chicago in 1975?

by Anonymousreply 56June 3, 2023 3:40 PM

In 1975 they would remove the apple. You could get condoms and birth control without a parent in the 70s even. You didn’t need a parents approval in cities. Chicago? Yeah. They would just remove it.

by Anonymousreply 57June 3, 2023 3:45 PM

That story isn’t plausible

by Anonymousreply 58June 3, 2023 3:45 PM

He isn’t gay. He thought the “girl” he had been talking to was into that and she convinced him to do it.

by Anonymousreply 59June 3, 2023 4:05 PM

Will no one think of the vegetables?

by Anonymousreply 60June 3, 2023 4:13 PM

You don't have to be gay and want dick to pleasure your hole. It feels good and a handful of straight guys, younger guys, know this. It just takes a girl goading them on to get really freaky with it.

We've all seen this one.

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by Anonymousreply 61June 3, 2023 4:25 PM

Anal stimulation has nothing to do with being attracted to men.

by Anonymousreply 62June 3, 2023 4:27 PM

Absolutely beautiful taint/scrot/butthole hair on him — STOP shaving, you freaks! — but that pointless rubber has GOT to GO!

It’s 2023! Raw is law! Go bare or GO HOME

by Anonymousreply 63June 3, 2023 4:55 PM

Lucky he didn't let out a ripper as the cucumber withdrew!

by Anonymousreply 64June 3, 2023 4:58 PM

Using a condom on those toys is actually smart, yet alone a cucumber

by Anonymousreply 65June 3, 2023 5:07 PM

Leave the veggies alone, buddy, I'll help you out!

by Anonymousreply 66June 3, 2023 5:10 PM

[quote]but that pointless rubber has GOT to GO!

R63 I am sure he put it right back in his mother's crisper. Therefore a condom was necessary. How could he ever answer with a straight face "Where did my cucumber go?" or why it smelled like sex.

by Anonymousreply 67June 3, 2023 6:05 PM

Veggie Tails

by Anonymousreply 68June 3, 2023 6:21 PM

There’s really no need for cucumbers or household object now with discreet sex toy online ordering and shipping. Unless of course that’s what you want to use.

by Anonymousreply 69June 3, 2023 6:26 PM

By the end of summer, he will have graduated to an oversized zucchini.

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by Anonymousreply 70June 3, 2023 6:41 PM

I thought he meant 'fartless' cucumber, r47.

Anyway, if you're going to use a vegetable for self-gratification, choosing one with 'cum' in it's name certainly seems apropos.

by Anonymousreply 71June 3, 2023 7:30 PM

[quote] Did no one understand the apple in the rectum was in Chicago in 1975?

You said it was "in 1975" like it was 1917. 1975 wasnt the dark ages. Yes, even in 1975 an emergency room doctor would have removed the obstruction and later questioned parents about what and how it happened.

by Anonymousreply 72June 3, 2023 7:47 PM

Now that we've established that it was leaked without consent and the kid could be a minor, hopefully Muriel will delete this thread.

by Anonymousreply 73June 3, 2023 7:48 PM

R72 yup. Actually, they may not even question the parents. The 70s were a lot less uptight as far as teenagers doing shit than they are now.

by Anonymousreply 74June 3, 2023 7:50 PM

R73 lmao you could just put the thread on Ignore. If you don’t like it why are you all over it?

by Anonymousreply 75June 3, 2023 7:50 PM

R19, I really hope that you didn’t seriously believe that.

by Anonymousreply 76June 3, 2023 7:54 PM

R61 - Wow, I'm surprised Adam Levine hasn't had that video scrubbed!

by Anonymousreply 77June 3, 2023 8:00 PM

This is from a Catfish/baiter set. I have it. He thinks he's talking to a girl. It was taken while home from college during the pandemic. In the other vids, he cums into a cup then eats it. He also stuffs two condom covered gold golf balls up his ass (very Zac Efron of him). He poops, much to the baiter's encouragement from the Instagram messages we can see in the screen recording, and picks up his shit (it was solid). The final part he cums on his shit. Besides the poop part, it's a hot set.

Sadly, the baiter didn't insist on him being verbal. Jerked off to this guy's set many times.

by Anonymousreply 78June 3, 2023 8:04 PM

R78 you’ve posted numerous times on here yet out of nowhere you have a set?

by Anonymousreply 79June 3, 2023 8:07 PM

[quote] [R73] lmao you could just put the thread on Ignore. If you don’t like it why are you all over it?

r75, I don't like the video in OP's post, it is a grotesque invasion of privacy and the kid looks underage -- and frankly, it's disgusting. I have placed the thread on ignore so I no longer see OP's post. However, Datalounge can be searched via Google for years so the whole thread needs to be DELETED.

Now...if you elderly DL gurls want to slide a whole watermelon up your dried-out cooch, have at it. I DEFINITELY don't want to see it but I might have some shit to say about it.

by Anonymousreply 80June 3, 2023 8:10 PM

R80 he was college aged. And you can then stop commenting all over it and coming back if it’s so offensive to you. You’re a grown man. A pathetic sad unemployed man, but a man nonetheless

by Anonymousreply 81June 3, 2023 8:14 PM

That isn’t Adam Levine in the annus massage video unthread so it’d be pointless for Mr Levine to try to have it scrubbed from the ‘net.

by Anonymousreply 82June 3, 2023 8:36 PM

*upthread fucking autocorrect

by Anonymousreply 83June 3, 2023 8:36 PM

Apparently he started out with a Gherkin and worked his way up, and now walks around wearing a Boston Pickling Cucumber like an all-day butt plug.

by Anonymousreply 84June 3, 2023 8:54 PM

…and that my friends is how you make polski ogorki at home.

by Anonymousreply 85June 3, 2023 9:00 PM

r79 my post at r78 was my first post in this thread. Are you fucking high or something?

by Anonymousreply 86June 3, 2023 10:25 PM

Remember to never hide the cucumber under your bed afterwards.

by Anonymousreply 87June 4, 2023 12:16 AM

R78 So... where's the set?

by Anonymousreply 88June 4, 2023 12:32 AM

[quote][R73] lmao you could just put the thread on Ignore. If you don’t like it why are you all over it?

The "ignore thread" function hasn't worked for MANY years.

by Anonymousreply 89June 4, 2023 3:12 AM

You can ignore a user.

by Anonymousreply 90June 4, 2023 3:17 AM

He’s cute. Looks like a pretty Tye Sheridan.

by Anonymousreply 91June 4, 2023 6:22 PM

So what does the future hold for this young man? Will he now view a Nicolas Fairford tutorial for cucumber sandwiches?

by Anonymousreply 92June 4, 2023 8:06 PM

Young men are re-claiming their asses from Xtianity (NSFW).

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by Anonymousreply 93June 4, 2023 8:28 PM

R91 Isn't that an oxymoron?

by Anonymousreply 94June 5, 2023 2:02 AM

R92 Does Fairford make housecalls?

by Anonymousreply 95June 5, 2023 2:11 AM
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