His hair's Steve Martin white
His lips a narrow line
His job is getting old
He's got Andy Cohen's eyes 😍
He'll turn his ranting on you
When you dare to criticize
CNN for favoring Trump
He's got Andy Cohen's eyes 😍
And he'll tease you, he'll unease you
And his giggle will convince you
He's a person
With an ac-tu-al
Per-son-al-a-tee, too
All the girls think he's a stud
He's got Andy Cohen's eyes 😍
You'll watch him in your home
It whets your appetite
For gore and bloody fights
He's putting news in your brain
And he's got Andy Cohen's eyes 😍
And he'll please you
With tight tee shirts
And a skin as white as paper
He's atrocious
And he knows just what it takes
To make a town hall
And we wonder why he joined the MAGA side
But he's got Andy Cohen's eyes 😍😍😍