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I have been depressed for a decade

Anyone else?

Medicated since 20- I’m now 34 Have a job that’s not even that bad. Have a loving partner. Have gone to the gym and run this whole time in an attempt to improve my mood.

Is this just being an adult? Time to just settle into my carriage of depression and ride it out for the rest of my life?

by Anonymousreply 33June 17, 2023 2:52 PM

Dysthymia or depression?

by Anonymousreply 1June 1, 2023 1:24 AM

Psychedelics.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 2June 1, 2023 1:31 AM

You might benefit from cognitive-based therapy to help you uncover some of the beliefs and patterns that are keeping you from breaking the cycle. Learning to reframe the negative self-talk and telling the inner voices to shut the fuck up can be liberating.

You can do this.

by Anonymousreply 3June 1, 2023 1:31 AM

How many times have you and your doctor attempted to adjust your meds?

by Anonymousreply 4June 1, 2023 1:32 AM

In my experience, many people build an identity around negativity. They receive sympathy, find entertaining humor in their misfortune, and get help and attention. They also see themselves as more truthful, realistic, or self-aware. The price is their happiness.

OP, you are young enough to have a great life ahead of you. Positive people build better relationships, do better in their careers, and have better health. There is plenty of bleakness, but you can choose what you will focus on.

It’s your life.

by Anonymousreply 5June 1, 2023 1:32 AM

Depression has been identified as a chemical imbalance inside of the brain that can be corrected with medication. I was prescribed prozac which shockingly worked for me.

by Anonymousreply 6June 1, 2023 1:37 AM

You’re just melancholic. Accept it, and deal with every day as best you can until you’re resting in peace (which is coming fast, believe me; the older you get, the faster time moves).

by Anonymousreply 7June 1, 2023 1:41 AM

R1 I would guess more dysthymia is more accurate however over the years there’s been periods of really debilitating depression.

R2 I’m definitely open to psychedelics however I would have no idea where to source any since I don’t know anyone into them.

R3 thank you, I really hope I can find some relief from it and CBT is something I have been in and out of but maybe it’s time to be committed to therapy.

R4, not recently. I have been on lamictal this whole time, used off label. SSRIs I have never found effective. I have been on dexamphetamine off label, opiates off label. I really have tried it seems everything. Something that really worked was champix- a drug I used for quitting smoking but surprisingly improved my mood too. Unfortunately it got taken off the market.

R5, thank you for you encouragement. I try to focus on the things that I have going for me. I don’t let others in on my problems in real life so nobody really is aware. I also assume everybody feels the same to some extent.

Sorry I know this is not exactly fascinating but feels good to get off my chest.

by Anonymousreply 8June 1, 2023 1:42 AM

OP I still have depression after years. I also have panic attacks. I had a doctor who once told me to meditate for the panic attacks. IDIOT doctor. I gave up. I rarely leave my house or do anything socially.

by Anonymousreply 9June 1, 2023 1:43 AM

Read the book “Lincoln’s Melancholy” and see how a man can do great things despite having that dark cloud over him his whole life.

by Anonymousreply 10June 1, 2023 1:47 AM

So sorry, OP. There’s no silver bullet but from your post seems like you appreciate the things that are going well in your life. That’s so healthy! My best advice is to focus on finding fulfilling hobbies or creative interests. Truly helps me. I find myself getting completely involved in creative pursuits and distracted from depression.

by Anonymousreply 11June 1, 2023 1:47 AM

Meditation has helped me with dysthymia / anxiety.

by Anonymousreply 12June 1, 2023 1:47 AM

Meditation is nothing but a big fat waste of fucking time. Why sit there in silence like an asshole when I could be watching television?

by Anonymousreply 13June 1, 2023 1:50 AM

OP, I have dysthymia or low-grade depression.

You're already exercising, so that's great.

I try to approach my situation from a few angles: diet, exercise, drinking water, keeping my household & car reasonably clean. Etc.

by Anonymousreply 14June 1, 2023 2:00 AM

Some people say light therapy works for them. Have you tried that? I have a friend who gets very depression in winter weather or rainy days. Do you live in a climate that has a lot of rain ?

by Anonymousreply 15June 1, 2023 2:00 AM

OP how does it manifest? Do you have trouble facing the day, repetitive negative thoughts, self hatred, lack of interests & motivation? I hope your partner is supportive.

by Anonymousreply 16June 1, 2023 2:08 AM

I am a depressed person who loves the rain. The outside matches what I feel inside. But whatever, it is just a feeling not a lifestyle. Depression is treatable.

by Anonymousreply 17June 1, 2023 2:11 AM

Depression is pretty normal. I am on Mirtazapine once a day. It keeps you from going under. I have a clinical diagnosis of a major depressive disorder due to past trauma. You get used to it. You have to make sure to exercise and stay connected to friends. Good luck.

by Anonymousreply 18June 1, 2023 2:15 AM

It’s time to get professional help, which cannot be found on DL.

by Anonymousreply 19June 1, 2023 2:18 AM

Have you thought about diffusing essential oils, OP? It can change your life!

by Anonymousreply 20June 1, 2023 2:23 AM

OP, you can grow your own psilocybin mushrooms if you want to try psychedelics! There were a bunch of great threads on how here.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 21June 1, 2023 3:11 AM

OP, lots of good suggestions in the above posts. Asking for help is the first step. You'll get better but it takes work on your part. I've been where you are.

by Anonymousreply 22June 1, 2023 3:39 AM

Another vote for CBT. Find a therapist that has real training in it tho. This approach has really advanced over the past 25 years so there’s a lot to learn so you can put it into practice.

by Anonymousreply 23June 1, 2023 9:21 AM

We live in depressing times. I question anyone who is NOT depressed.

by Anonymousreply 24June 1, 2023 10:10 AM

Exactly. Only idiots are happy.

by Anonymousreply 25June 1, 2023 3:24 PM

I just want to say about psychedelics- wow! A year ago, a friend gave me a bag of “golden teachers”. I had three…sessions with them over three months. Each experience was interesting and fun but I didn’t notice anything spiritual or life changing. (I was hoping they would change me for the better)

But about 6 weeks after I ate my last shroom, I became very focused on my art hobby. It was bringing me so much joy to work on it diligently without my usual depresso thoughts that it would never lead to anything. My perspective was different and much more positive. This has been ongoing. I also became more lighthearted toward my partner and colleagues.

Not long ago I was pondering why I became so focused and content last summer and still now. I concluded it may have been those golden teachers. I feel re-wired. This explanation makes sense to me as a lifelong anxious depressive who tried therapy/meds for years with minimal results.

Btw I don’t rock the boat. Still do therapy and meds.

Good luck to you.

by Anonymousreply 26June 1, 2023 5:07 PM

[quote]Have a job that’s not even that bad. Have a loving partner. Have gone to the gym and run this whole time

what is 'job'? what is 'gym'?

by Anonymousreply 27June 1, 2023 5:21 PM

[quote]Is this just being an adult?

No. It's not the normal state of things.

by Anonymousreply 28June 1, 2023 5:47 PM

I'm telling everyone that's suffered from depression, that hasn't found relief from traditional meds, to look into ketamine. I'm trying to get into a place this summer because I don't want to be negative anymore and be so depressed. It seems to be a 50/50 shot, which is decent odds. Some people really shift their entire perspective. Look up some first hand accounts on YouTube.

by Anonymousreply 29June 1, 2023 5:53 PM

What’s wrong with being negative? Do you know how fucked up the world is? I’m supposed to walk around smiling all the time like a jerkoff?

by Anonymousreply 30June 1, 2023 6:51 PM

^^ Hi Sveta

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 31June 1, 2023 9:35 PM

R29 and OP, I'm doing Ketamine. I have been dysthymic as an adult for about 30 years, with stretches of reprieve but then it comes back. I know why, too. My shitty childhood mixed with my deeply artistic sensitive disposition.

Anyway, here's my experience: I have done three 200 mg "journeys" and have also been doing daily 45 mg microdosings for about three weeks.

So I'm still depressed just yet, but -- my brain fog has evaporated. My sleep is better. My focus is better. My appetite is better. My thinking is lucid and reasonable. My cravings for things that aren't good for me have ebbed. And I'm making painful but rational and grounded connections and realizations that I was not making before I started Ketamine therapy.

I think I may have had some static in my head from my trauma that was protecting me from super grounded, clear-eyed reality. I was a lot less focused before, for instance. Like bad executive function. Also I would daydream more. Now I am clear as a bell. I see all. I don't love it, hence the very appropriate sadness. But the sadness doesn't feel "free-floating" as it did before.

And my anxiety has gone way, way down.

So what I guess I'm saying is that, for me, ketamine has not been a magic wand or a quick fix. They sort of tout it as such. Particularly "Joyous" or the other companies that specialize in the daily lozenges. Nope, my depression didn't magically *poof* evaporate. But what I think I'm doing is actually having breakthroughs and coming down to planet Earth.

I've made some really positive changes since starting ketamine, too. Beyond the food and the sleep I have cut out some very unhealthy people out of my life and I've made a bit of peace with my crazy mother. She needs to be kept at arm's length but having my 74-year-old emotionally stunted mother on "block" for the past few years was tearing my heart to pieces. I have found acceptance there, and peace.

YMMV

My thing is really just to never ever stop trying things. Make sure you are on Brand Lamictal and not generic, btw.

by Anonymousreply 32June 1, 2023 9:48 PM

[quote] About 6 weeks after I ate my last shroom, I became very focused on my art hobby. It was bringing me so much joy to work on it diligently without my usual depresso thoughts that it would never lead to anything. My perspective was different and much more positive. This has been ongoing. I also became more lighthearted toward my partner and colleagues. Not long ago I was pondering why I became so focused and content last summer and still now. I concluded it may have been those golden teachers. I feel re-wired.

R26 this is the exact result I'm looking for. Sadly, where I'm from/am living and working (Wales) it's really hard to get your hands on mushies without attracting too much attention from bizzies. They're a Class A on this island. Have considered ordering spores and doing a home grow, but I have no green fingers and no idea what I'm doing, so am a bit worried about mould and the like. But I have this deep instinctive feeling that plant medicine is the road I need to be on. How can I proceed?

by Anonymousreply 33June 17, 2023 2:52 PM
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