Gurls, I had to try it 🙈

Gross!

That looks like a sugar bomb.

I'd be sick after just one bite.

i cant tell how big it is - it does look HORRIBLE.

At least it will come out looking the same way it did going in.

That looks truly synthetic.

Goodness, looks like something from a bad lab experiment.

How was it?

Calories per slice, op?

You can make one yourself!

That's one soggy biscuit. 💦

All I can say is $6 seems like a good deal. Unsure of the size though.

^me again. The label says it's 1 lb of cake. For $6!

R10 16 OZ

Aloha means good buy!

It’s probably red velvet. Tell me you bitches have never had red velvet cake.

[quote] It’s probably red velvet. Tell me you bitches have never had red velvet cake.

Look at that consistency.

There's hardly any flour in it.

It's mostly sugar, and that thing would dissolve into nothing, if left out.

Sugar and food coloring.

Are you REJOICING right now?

R14 it sounds like you’ve never had red velvet cake if you think that’s red velvet.

OP, did you like it?

Well?

It looks like a huge bloody tumor.

That queen in the video at r8 thinks she's the shit.

[quote] It looks like a huge bloody tumor.

It looks like my last period.

I imagine your period would have more icing, Ms M.

OP, please report back with your review so we know you're not in diabetic shock.

It looks yummy to me - I love fruit punch.

R23 are ya a great big fat person just like OP Ed.win?

Is this like a 7Up cake?

I love the fact that the expiration date is FOUR MONTHS from now!

Please report back Op.

R25 they’re made by the same company.

R23 it was a lot more tasty than I thought it would be.

OP, there are better places to buy baked goods than CVS.

It expires tomorrow?

It must be 6 months old.

At that price, how bad could it be?

Does it come in sheet cake size?

Corn syrup

Is that you at R8, OP?

OP, I would love it and eat it without cutting or putting it on a plate. Yum. It looks perfectly piggy and I need that once in a while.

What is the red?

R36 has never heard of Hawaiian Punch it seems.

Barf!

Did you purchase it with that wedge out of it? It’s a CVS cake; you should have been given a discoiunt. Same shit, when they slide their fingers in and touch the frosting: discount. Every time. Yep.

I got it from a supermarket. It’s sold at supermarkets.

I would pounce on that cake. Then make coffee. Then pounce on it some more while the coffee brews/cools. This is where it’s difficult to swallow and I’m making that noise dogs make when there’s peanut butter on the roof of their mouths.

Is this the official state dessert?

Just the industrially designed label would be enough to scare me off.

I supposed if that cake was just sitting there I might be tempted.

OP, can you confirm its fruity flavour?

I hate red velvet cake. It's the only cake I will not touch.

Can I have it delivered by Goldbelly for $150?

R45 idk why you would think of red velvet for a HAWAIIAN PUNCH CAKE, made with Hawaiian Punch mix.

Yes, it tastes like Fruit Punch.

"Yes, it tastes like Fruit Punch."

Was ever a more damning statement uttered?

R48 yes, you continuously bringing up red velvet cake. You must’ve never seen a red velvet cake or have ever tasted a red velvet cake if you think a Hawaiian punch cake will taste like red velvet.

"Don't eat the red ones!"

R49, You have misidentified me. I have not posted Word One about Red Velvet Cake. I daresay I have never eaten Red Velvet Cake. I eat cake rarely (weak sweet tooth), but when I do it is heavily-frosted Chocolate Cake.

So STHU about me (r48 and r38 ONLY)!

I quite like red velvet cake - but I don't think I'd like this. I hate the mixture of chocolate and fruit in any shape or form.

R52 you’re an uneducated delinquent and I really wish you would get off this site. Once again bringing up red velvet. R51 no, I didn’t. I know every time you post. Switching accounts doesn’t change that.

No one else on here is uneducated enough to not know the difference between Hawaiian Punch and Red Velvet cake. Fucking retard.

^ Wow! Op's a real charmer. No wonder he eats a poor man's version of red velvet cake.

It’s a FRUIT PUNCH cake. What don’t you understand r54?! So uneducated. Low class trash living off his mom still. Imagine if her job knew what her son does online

Gurls, I had to try it 🙈

Judge away. A bitch couldn’t resist trying a new sweet and aim at even MORE daring choices!

[quote]So uneducated. Low class trash living off his mom still.

Weird that this is your go-to insult. Says so much about you.

...and nothing about me.

R57 no. It says a lot about you. Because it’s sadly the truth.

I’ve heard of Hawaiian Punch but what is the red part of that cake made from? It looks like nothing I’ve seen in the human food world. R37

Don't eat it before your colonoscopy. Your doctor will be livid!

R53, You are insane! I have never posted about RV Cake, NOR HAVE I EVER SWITCHED ACCOUNTS.

I IMPLORE ANY OTHER POSTER(S) TO CHECK MY ACCOUNT (r51) TO BACK ME UP HERE WITH THIS NUTCASE!

Moreover, JO r53, I know HFP is beyond sickly sweet, fit not even for Kool-Aid-drinking children. I've SEEN RVC, but AS I SAID, no interest in consuming any.

Go ahead; tell us all here about my "different accounts." Name them, you fat liar.

I developed type 2 diabetes from looking at op’s pic

R61 r62 you react the same every time you’re called out. You literally hand me everything I need. You’re a retard. If I were to ever choose to take you to court for the stalking and harassment you have done since 2019 to not only me but my family, you don’t have a leg to stand on.

Why are you bitches saying the cake is unhealthy? It's a FRUIT punch cake. Fruit is good for you. Much better to eat a cake made of healthy, nutritious fruit than a chocolate cake.

Does it taste just like Hawaiian Punch?

And the Lord visited Eve with the curse, and the curse was the curse of blood!

Say it with me, OP! Say it!!!

[quote]And we always know when you post.

On top of everything else OP has revealed himself as a "we" troll.

Says it all.

It looks like trashy goodness. I would try it.

Well, does it even smell like red velvet?

🤮 🤢 🤮 🤢

I can't decide which one to buy: the Hawaiian Punch cake, the Orange Crush cake, or the A&W Root Beer cake. Decisions, decisions.

I bought one but it came bundled with a 3 month supply of Ozempic and cost $3,006! That was the only way my grocer would sell it. ☹️

FAT WHORES SCREAM!

[quote] does it even smell like red velvet?

it smells like food stamps and diabeetus.

America circling the drain. The toilet drain.

I'm crying. This is some low class Walmart aisle 5 fish wife bs, and it's been beyond entertaining. Ruthless bitches having trashbox cake and getting psychotic for conflating it with red-velvet cake. Must be the sugar making everyone so snipey!

The actual cake looks like an abscess, and let's not forget the base ingredient used to be dispensed from an oversized tin can you'd have to puncture to access said punch.

R77 you’re low class. I don’t have food stamps. But your mom does.

The issue is no one with a working brain will look at that cake and think “red velvet”. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

Is it shark week, OP? Because this is the type of garbage one consumes when it's shark week.

This cake is as low class as it gets. For basic bitches only.

Let us not deign for even a second to think otherwise.

R80 hence the “I had to try it” with an embarrassed emoji. The embarrassment comes from me knowing it’s trash food but I wanted to try it. Idiot.

Cafe Valley Bakery?

"2.0 I wouldn't suggest working there to my worst enemy. Customer Service Coordinator (Former Employee) - Marion, IN - April 14, 2023"

Is this the bakery, OP?

I’ve shot more attractive bloody shits from my ass. I’m sure they’d taste better, too.

That looks like Dawson’s 50 Load Hawaiian Punch Cake.

I've seen 7-Up cake at several local stores, but I've never seen any of the other ones mentioned here (HP, A&W or Orange Crush).

Here’s a map showing locations where one can find the delicious baked goods of Café Valley Bakery.

There are always GOATSE cakes, when soda pop cakes aren't slumming enough.

R86 I tried that one in 2021. It was actually good.

The Mountain Dew Torte at Demel in Vienna ist köstlich

Discusting 🤡

I like Op’s shitty attitude and refusal to answer questions:

Did it taste like Hawaiian Punch?

Did you like it?

Is it like tres leches in texture?

All I know is the last time I are a red velvet cookie the next more I thought I was hemorrhaging on the terlit. Damn red dye.

Red velvet cake is maroon/burgundy colored. Never ever has it been a bright vibrant red color.

Funny how the most uneducated person around who still lives off his mom who is on EBT always has the most to say.

I only eat Tahiti Treat cake. If a restaurant offers Hawaiian Punch cake and they don't sell Tahiti Treat cake as well, I'll walk out.

The map shows they carry them at Pathmark. I’m going to get out my Time Machine and go get one, because that store has been out of business for years. Also, I thought Sprouts was supposedly a healthy food store.

R97 there are still some Pathmarks. Just very few.

There is one here in Brooklyn

A lot of healthy food stores still sell some junk.

r87 Oh. Come to find out, OP and I have cakes from the same company, then. Mine is a 7Up cake. I bought it three days ago. There is one slice left. Yes, I ate it all by myself. But I have a very good excuse.

R100 I said it’s from the same company upthread and said I’ve had it before and actually liked it.

Can I buy these cakes in NYC? That map isn’t terrible helpful. I can’t tell where that ShopRite is supposed to be exactly.

R102 I bought the 7UP one in an Aldi in Brooklyn but they since stopped selling it.

The Hawaiian Punch one I got while out of state.