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Colton Underwood got married

Colton Underwood Marries Jordan C. Brown in Napa Valley: 'I've Never Been More Sure of Something' (Exclusive) The Bachelor alum and political strategist got married during a 3-day wedding celebration that included a performance by Stanford University's Artistic Swimmers and a disco-themed pool party.

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by Anonymousreply 184May 24, 2023 5:57 PM

Has DARKMINGELORD commented yet?

by Anonymousreply 1May 14, 2023 5:48 PM

Good for them.

by Anonymousreply 2May 14, 2023 5:51 PM

Do gay guys actually care about weddings though?

It’s all for girls for the most part.

I don’t see the appeal outside the legal benefits.

I dunno, I don’t have interest in playing house like straight people. I guess that makes me horrible or weird.

by Anonymousreply 3May 14, 2023 5:53 PM

I also would like to marry for money while being allowed to endlessly play on the side.

by Anonymousreply 4May 14, 2023 5:54 PM

Congratulations to them.

by Anonymousreply 5May 14, 2023 5:56 PM

How old is the husband?

by Anonymousreply 6May 14, 2023 5:56 PM

I hope their wedding night sex tape leaks...

by Anonymousreply 7May 14, 2023 5:57 PM

[quote]Do gay guys actually care about weddings though?

They do when the goal is flaunting their wealth and attention whoring.

by Anonymousreply 8May 14, 2023 5:57 PM

I can see getting married if you both really want to - but “weddings” are for chicks. Nothing sillier looking than two guys in matching suits under a flower draped arbor - just go to city hall and host all your friends for a cocktail party at a bar.

by Anonymousreply 9May 14, 2023 5:58 PM

R6 Jordan is 38 and Colton is 31.

by Anonymousreply 10May 14, 2023 5:59 PM

Is this the most extreme case of dickmatization ever?

by Anonymousreply 11May 14, 2023 6:00 PM

r9 A brief city hall ceremony with a cocktail party at the end doesn't get you a spread in People magazine. Again, it's all about attention whoring.

by Anonymousreply 12May 14, 2023 6:01 PM

Next step is divorce, then drug/use weight gain, then book to tell everyone about it

by Anonymousreply 13May 14, 2023 6:01 PM

Married or buried?

by Anonymousreply 14May 14, 2023 6:02 PM

[quote]Do gay guys actually care about weddings though?

Not all, many do not like it for homophobic reasons, some heteronormative reasons. It’s why I believe gay marriage should have been left up to the states. Gays that were fighting for gay marriage in their individual states were doing a damn good job changing hearts and minds and votes, we didn’t need the Supreme Court to step in. Winning gay marriage at the state level is a win for gays not the supreme court ruling. Also, the gay assholes who chastise gay marriage and gays who get married would be less inclined to bash gay marriage because they didn’t fight for gay marriage, they didn’t win the right to get married (in their state). They’d just shut their mouths, or someone would shut it for them.

by Anonymousreply 15May 14, 2023 6:02 PM

r11 More like walletization.

by Anonymousreply 16May 14, 2023 6:03 PM

The groom used Ozempic.

by Anonymousreply 17May 14, 2023 6:03 PM

If you decide that marriage is for you, then adults can legally marry the adult of their choosing ACROSS THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

by Anonymousreply 18May 14, 2023 6:06 PM

Good Lord, that Colton is handsome.

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by Anonymousreply 19May 14, 2023 6:09 PM

What do we think Cassie got them?

by Anonymousreply 20May 14, 2023 6:12 PM

R15 Yeah. When I was 17, gay marriage was legalized in Massachusetts where I live / am from.

But by 17, I had already accepted I was gay and marriage was off the table as I had already kind of tossed out the idea I needed to live or have goals like a heterosexual.

As I started getting older I realized being gay was going to save me money. I didn’t buy cars or invest money on impressing women and I rarely went on dates cause I just wanted to have sex.

So the idea of a wedding and all that stuff never appealed to me. I felt like I was lucky to not have to experience it which is why I always found it weird some gay men do especially since it’s actually not that appealing to straight men, who do it out of obligation.

by Anonymousreply 21May 14, 2023 6:13 PM

[quote]Jordan is 38

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by Anonymousreply 22May 14, 2023 6:14 PM

No pics from the pool party? Sad.

by Anonymousreply 23May 14, 2023 6:15 PM

Fuck weddings. Yeah, I'm gonna play dress up and dance and kiss in front of everyone I know and then cry while I give a speech about my feelings? LAME I'd rather die

by Anonymousreply 24May 14, 2023 6:19 PM

Does the other one have a giant penis or something? What's the catch here?

by Anonymousreply 25May 14, 2023 6:22 PM

R15, your logic holds only if marriage benefits were just a state matter. How do propose to handle marriages performed in one state then they move? What about custody of children? How do you handle people filing jointly for federal tax when they file their state tax?

Marriage is a contract and I know of no other contract which can be entered into in one state which is voided when you cross state lines.

by Anonymousreply 26May 14, 2023 6:22 PM

R3, R9, R24, you have found a way to tell us you are single without telling us you are single.

by Anonymousreply 27May 14, 2023 6:25 PM

Well that was fast.

...considering many never find it.

by Anonymousreply 28May 14, 2023 6:33 PM

Wait. Which one is the girl one???

by Anonymousreply 29May 14, 2023 6:43 PM

I do agree that Colton is really handsome. But I'm still banking on a divorce and 75 pound weight gain in the next 3 years.

by Anonymousreply 30May 14, 2023 6:46 PM

[quote][R6] Jordan is 38 and Colton is 31.

LOL - he's 38 in Datalounge gay years.

After doing the conversion - checks notes, adjusts a few cells in the excel spreadsheet, reruns the Monte Carlo simulations - that's 51 in earth years.

by Anonymousreply 31May 14, 2023 6:50 PM

Colton is very handsome indeed R19, and that is why he is marrying the best client he could catch, as R16 has very correctly mentioned.

Luckily for him, he cannot have children with the derp-faced cash cow... I mean, best client... Oh no, sorry: I meant to say loving husband.

by Anonymousreply 32May 14, 2023 6:54 PM

Divorce in 3, 2, 1.

by Anonymousreply 33May 14, 2023 6:56 PM

[quote]Divorce in 3, 2, 1.

No, no, no.

Cheating scandal in 3,2,1, then

Admission he's an addict and going to rehab in 3,2,1, then

Apology to all his family, friends, and fans he's disappointed in 3,2,1 then


by Anonymousreply 34May 14, 2023 7:00 PM

Please respect our privacy! Now look at these People mag pics that paid for our wedding.

by Anonymousreply 35May 14, 2023 7:00 PM

Googling Jordan's age (he is 39 it seems, turns 40 in December) I learned that this is not his first relationship, that he was with an older guy who had two kids before this.

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by Anonymousreply 36May 14, 2023 7:04 PM

Jordan is 39 in Blanche years.

by Anonymousreply 37May 14, 2023 7:08 PM

This is a very different vibe from the Gage/Appleton nuptials. Who says there’s not diversity in the Gay world!

by Anonymousreply 38May 14, 2023 7:12 PM

Best Wishes to them both

But why the rush to get married? Underwood came out iwo years ago. Of course, he may know what he wants and who he is, but I sure as hell was not as sure-minded as to settle down so quickly. Get to know yourself as an out, gay man.

To use an old-fashioned (if not chauvinist) phrase, play the field...discover life as an out gay man...get involved in the community.

I do not know him from Adam, but it appears he's looking for some sort of Daddy figure.

by Anonymousreply 39May 14, 2023 7:13 PM

God, Colton's husband is fug.

by Anonymousreply 40May 14, 2023 7:16 PM

Is Colton knocked up?

by Anonymousreply 41May 14, 2023 7:21 PM

[quote]Googling Jordan's age (he is 39 it seems, turns 40 in December)

HE'S 39!

by Anonymousreply 42May 14, 2023 7:44 PM

It has to be the big dick, but big dicks are everywhere! Perhaps it makes Colton look so much better? That's an ugly mug husband.

by Anonymousreply 43May 14, 2023 7:44 PM

¥ou don't und€r$tand, R43. It'$ a££ about rea£ £ov€. Of cour$e, mone¥ has nothing to do with th€ir marriag€ - how dar€ anyon€ think $uch a thing! Colton has fallen in love with his husband's bank account... I mean, beautifu£ sou£.

¥eah, $ur€.

by Anonymousreply 44May 14, 2023 10:06 PM

a) husband is financially secure

b) husband probably has a thick hands-free cum style penis

by Anonymousreply 45May 14, 2023 10:58 PM

When I clicked on the People article, I read the "subheadline," and thought that Colton had somehow become a "political consultant." I guess, as opposed to having "come in" a political consultant.

by Anonymousreply 46May 14, 2023 11:27 PM

^^^ Sorry, I guess it's "political strategist." Guess that's like a really strategic political consultant. Either one sounds like the kind of title anyone could just bestow on themselves.

by Anonymousreply 47May 14, 2023 11:29 PM

R27 I'm actually engaged but we are getting married in court like grown ups, we're not putting on a costume party for our wretched relatives

by Anonymousreply 48May 14, 2023 11:53 PM

R39 Maybe because there’s still religious guilt and self hatred and marriage validates him seeking “love” instead of lust and fun like most men who aren’t bounded to women (the gays)

by Anonymousreply 49May 15, 2023 1:00 AM

R48 : you're probably embarrassed.

by Anonymousreply 50May 15, 2023 2:53 AM

I met him at an ABC party for the Bachelor. It was after the episodes for his season were completed but hadn't aired.

Poor dude was TIGHTLY WOUND. I made a little chit chat with him and he appeared as if he was going to explode.

by Anonymousreply 51May 15, 2023 2:56 AM

Wasn't he straight recently?

by Anonymousreply 52May 15, 2023 3:04 AM

Gosh, it's been such a whirlwind for him these past couple years.

I've been trying to get a date for a decade..

by Anonymousreply 53May 15, 2023 3:23 AM

Jordan is a hard 39. Sheesh. I assumed he was 50+. Also, Colton could do much better. Clearly, Jordan fills some daddy role to warrant this love connection. Or it's the money. Or both.

by Anonymousreply 54May 15, 2023 3:40 AM

All weddings are kooky, but these matchy-matchy gay weddings are kind of cringey.

I'm very pro-marriage, it's just weddings I hate!

by Anonymousreply 55May 15, 2023 3:46 AM

When you read the article it takes cringe up to 11, R55 - garden “decorated” with giant didactic vintage portraits of presumably historic gay couples (from that Loving coffee table book) AND a water ballet in the pool. Oy vey.

by Anonymousreply 56May 15, 2023 4:03 AM

I'm co-signing R55. They seem like the weddings teen girls plan in Jr. High.

by Anonymousreply 57May 15, 2023 4:03 AM

[quote]Wasn't he straight recently?

He was never straight.

by Anonymousreply 58May 15, 2023 4:22 AM

Did Carrie sing at his wedding? Was it some hillbilly love song?

by Anonymousreply 59May 15, 2023 10:46 AM

He must be a bottom if he's having to marry an ugly guy.

by Anonymousreply 60May 15, 2023 12:05 PM

Colton's a dickhead, but -- that notwithstanding -- he could do better.

by Anonymousreply 61May 15, 2023 12:25 PM

I always liked Clayton Underwood. Surprised she didn’t make this a Bachelor Nation reunion.

by Anonymousreply 62May 15, 2023 12:27 PM

[quote]he could do better

Maybe he can't. Didn't he stalk some Bachelor chick? Maybe he's mentally unwell. Maybe he needs a daddy. Maybe this guy has money or a super huge schlong.

by Anonymousreply 63May 15, 2023 12:44 PM

Now she can get as fat as original recipe Colton!

by Anonymousreply 64May 15, 2023 12:57 PM

Everything Colton does is calculated to the extreme.

by Anonymousreply 65May 15, 2023 1:42 PM


by Anonymousreply 66May 15, 2023 2:09 PM

Awwww! Did Colton give Jordan a chin-implant for a wedding gift?

by Anonymousreply 67May 15, 2023 2:16 PM

Tammy, from the "1,000-lb. Sisters" show on TLC, sang "Oh Promise Me."

by Anonymousreply 68May 15, 2023 2:27 PM

R68 I heard she lost a lot of weight. Pansexual Tammy is fab!

by Anonymousreply 69May 15, 2023 2:31 PM

R36 Seems People doesn't do much verification when cranking out the fluff. Their story from December 2021, says Colton was celebrating his 39-year-old boyfriend's birthday - if that can be believed. Which would make him a rough-looking 40 on his wedding day.

Yet all the wedding announcements list 38. How embarrassing for him.

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by Anonymousreply 70May 15, 2023 11:17 PM

I think I’m in the minority here but I find the husband far hotter than Colton 🙃 also I think I remember a malegeneral thread about him (I know I know) and someone there mentioned he does have an enormous dick. But yes the big wedding / matching suits situation is gross.

by Anonymousreply 71May 15, 2023 11:24 PM

I love Clayton. Never knew he was gay. Congrats!

by Anonymousreply 72May 15, 2023 11:24 PM

R54, my dad died when I was 5 and I know that can't or didn't "make" me gay but it sure as shit left me with a lot of abandonment and daddy issues.

I've never been able to sustain anything and I've wasted years casting guys who were not looking to heal my wounds.

If I had money or looks, well, I think it'd be different.

Coming of age in the AIDS epidemic didn't help make things easy.

Wah wah wahhh!!!

by Anonymousreply 73May 16, 2023 12:16 AM

Wedding weekend photos.

Colton's real Daddy is hot!

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by Anonymousreply 74May 16, 2023 12:23 AM

[quote]Jordan is 38

She hasn't seen 38 in several decades.

by Anonymousreply 75May 16, 2023 12:28 AM

Colton’s bio dad is the stuff dad/son, coach/jock, hot neighbor/paper-boy fantasies are made from.

by Anonymousreply 76May 16, 2023 12:31 AM

Love wins.

by Anonymousreply 77May 16, 2023 12:34 AM

Colton posted a photo of himself at the airport, wearing a t-shirt with a picture of Jennifer Coolidge, and her White Lotus line, "These Gays, they are trying to kill me!"

I predict they'll be honeymooning in Taormina, Sicily.

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by Anonymousreply 78May 16, 2023 4:03 AM

If they're happy, good. Was he not engaged or just about to be engaged at least once already? He rushed around dating and screwing after coming out. Which is great, but I wonder if he'll look on this marriage as a mistake. Time will tell. I don't follow him anywhere else but here, so if they divorce, I'm sure DL will deliver the news.

Also: there are too many Coltons around here (in honesty, I think there are TWO, but it seems like far more)! I'm still not sure which one I'd fuck, and which one I'd chuck.

by Anonymousreply 79May 16, 2023 4:38 AM


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by Anonymousreply 80May 16, 2023 5:09 AM

Congratulations to the happy couple. A pox on the houses of the bittah cunts who couldn’t keep a man after the first trick. Your bile will consume you and lead to an early death.

by Anonymousreply 81May 16, 2023 5:21 AM

I wouldn't fuck the ugly husband with the OPs dick.

by Anonymousreply 82May 16, 2023 7:00 AM

Word is that Jordy has an "impossibly thick" cock.

Colton is probably dickmatized.

by Anonymousreply 83May 16, 2023 8:20 AM

[quote] I love Clayton. Never knew he was gay.

So you're doubly clueless, R72.

by Anonymousreply 84May 16, 2023 6:53 PM

It's not too late to fulfill the remnants of their wedding registry!

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by Anonymousreply 85May 16, 2023 7:45 PM

Seems like all they do is drink. What cheapass bought them 1 glass?

by Anonymousreply 86May 16, 2023 7:59 PM

That bitch.

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by Anonymousreply 87May 16, 2023 8:20 PM

Any updates from the honeymoon?

by Anonymousreply 88May 16, 2023 10:55 PM

Colton's hole was prelubed.

by Anonymousreply 89May 17, 2023 12:47 AM

The husband is uglyyyyyyy

by Anonymousreply 90May 17, 2023 1:03 AM

Hopefully he can blow Colton without his dick being caught on those snaggleteeth.

by Anonymousreply 91May 17, 2023 1:07 AM

A lot of good-looking gay guys will get with less attractive men because they want to be the "pretty one" in the relationship...especially if they're insecure.

Colton, from what we can tell from his story, has dealt with massive amounts of self-loathing, and that's not something that just goes away after a couple of years. He's still working through it.

Being the hot one in the couple, the one that everybody hits on when they go out together, may temporarily soothe those feelings of inadequacy and shame. He's not very smart, he never rose above the level of journeyman as a professional football player, and he had to make an ass of himself on national television in order to achieve his C-list level of reality TV fame, but at least he's the one everybody wants. For now.

I don't get the sense that he's a bad person, though...stalker behavior aside. Just another gay dude who got screwed up by all the homophobia in his church and in the culture of sports.

I wish them both well.

by Anonymousreply 92May 17, 2023 1:23 AM

Let’s get more info on the “impossibly thick” dick seems like that would help explain this pairing…

by Anonymousreply 93May 17, 2023 1:26 AM

Good for them. They seem happy.

Some of you bitches are just vicious - my god 😂

by Anonymousreply 94May 17, 2023 1:54 AM

[quote]Hopefully he can blow Colton without his dick being caught on those snaggleteeth.

Pretty sure Colton will be doing the majority of the blowing.

by Anonymousreply 95May 17, 2023 1:58 AM

They look happy. Colton is not some gorgeous guy - just kind of above average chub. Cute.

My partner and I exchanged matching wedding rings years ago. We never had a wedding - but we did celebrate the joining of our lives. Friends and family were involved. Gay people lack societal supports and shared rituals in our lives together. It's nice to build them, if you want that. To share your life and home and yes, money too. There's nothing much unusual about it. Gay life is not much more than hedonistic slut culture. Some of us want more than that and a larger group of freinds and experiences.

Since when has being a gay man have nothing to do with wanting to fall in love? Too much disappointment should not make you jealous of other's happiness. Falling in love involves taking risks and facing fears. Building a lasting relationship is hard work.

Remember what Oprah used to ask silly young couples? Do you want a wedding or do you want a marriage? Still a good question. Label it what you like.

We are still together after 14 years. I am 41 and he is 49. He is not the top. Put a ring on it.

Colton's husband is in some ways more attractive than he is. So is Tom Daly's dude.

It's none of my business - but as a gay man - I celebrate their happiness. Takes guts to face disapproval and nasty judgment from your OWN community - never mind the "straight" world.

Datalounge is not really representative of either world.

by Anonymousreply 96May 17, 2023 2:19 AM

Which one is Colton's bio dad on that Instagram post? The guy in the cowboy hat?

Don't worry, R15, once the reich-wing Supreme Court overturns gay marriage next, it'll go back to the states, most of which will outlaw it in their quest to be fascist Christian theocracies.

by Anonymousreply 97May 17, 2023 2:50 AM

I love the satin shirt he’s wearing in R80, and that cool blue against his skin tone is beautiful!

by Anonymousreply 98May 17, 2023 3:41 AM

Crabs in a barrel…

by Anonymousreply 99May 17, 2023 4:11 AM

I've Never Been More $ure of $omething!

by Anonymousreply 100May 17, 2023 4:16 AM

It’s not that we’re against true love - we just doubt that this is more than the rash publicity stunt it so clearly seems to be.

by Anonymousreply 101May 17, 2023 4:35 AM

r9 and r21, agreed. Am going to get married in two months. We're in our 60's. The prospect - but especially the expense - of a public spectacle makes me cringe. But these guys are public figures doing their thing publicly. And they look happy. I'm happy for them. My partner might prefer something a bit more theatrical but his last marriage was short-lived and did not end well. We'll see attorneys for pre-nups, go to city hall wearing suits and bronzer, post a picture on Facebook and have all of our friends pissed off that we didn't do a big thing, then come home, drink, pop Viagra's, mate like weasels, then order take-out. Just like we always do. That document for various legal rights and protections is very important to us moving into old age. Given that we can't even remember what we were talking about just five minutes ago, it's unlikely that we'll end up in divorce court or on the cover of People magazine. In that sense, I'm glad not to be Mr. Underwood at his Napa wedding. But they do look happy and I hope their relationship lasts.

by Anonymousreply 102May 17, 2023 6:16 AM

[quote] Let’s get more info on the “impossibly thick” dick seems like that would help explain this pairing…

The original post claiming to have first-hand (and anal) experience, from 12/16/2021.

"I met Jordy through HRC. Nice enough guy, overly confident and a name dropper. A 4 who thinks he's a 10. He's not a dummy by any stretch, but he like to over explain everything. He's the type who gives you the 5000-word explanation when a 5-word sentence would have been enough. He does have a gigantic cock, which is insanely thick and he's good at fucking. Those types usually aren't all that good in the sack, he's the exception. Dirty, dirty boy."

by Anonymousreply 103May 17, 2023 6:40 AM

R76, I saw that in Coming out Colton; the Utah cinematography in that was amazing.

Yeah, his dad is definitely the dream of gay boys looking for a daddy

I wonder if he was there not enough 'too much' or something in between; nature v nurture I guess.

by Anonymousreply 104May 17, 2023 6:04 PM

I remember this boyfriend looking totally different. Did he shrink like a bride to fit into his bridal suit?

by Anonymousreply 105May 17, 2023 6:24 PM

Given that Jordy is packing serious sizemeat you would think they would have registered for Colton's inevitable prolapse reconstruction surgery. But maybe they are prioritizing the funding of desperation babies like the Lance-Black-Daleys, R103

by Anonymousreply 106May 17, 2023 6:28 PM

Was the wedding fashion sponsored by International Male?

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by Anonymousreply 107May 17, 2023 6:29 PM

So Jordan is a 4 in the face but a 10 below the waist? This is all starting to make sense now.

by Anonymousreply 108May 17, 2023 6:30 PM

I love it when you bitches find the wedding registry. It is tacky when two grown ass men have a wedding registry. They should already have these items. Also, that is a lot of drinking glasses. Should Colton be drinking that much on his meds? This mess won't last the end of the year. Unless they have a band-aid baby.

by Anonymousreply 109May 17, 2023 6:36 PM

[quote]Should Colton be drinking that much on his meds?

What meds is Colton on?

by Anonymousreply 110May 17, 2023 6:41 PM

Jordy looks not terribly unlike Hunter Biden

by Anonymousreply 111May 17, 2023 7:53 PM

The entire wedding was an audition for yet another "reality" show.

by Anonymousreply 112May 17, 2023 8:00 PM

Isn't Colton supposed to be a Republican? Curious if his politics changed after he came out and with Jordan being a big Democrat

by Anonymousreply 113May 17, 2023 8:25 PM

Colton’s fame peaked with the coming out story. He knows this.

He is probably one of those folks who is satisfied with being friends with famous people instead of being famous himself. This husband provides both monetary stability as well as access to famous people through politics in California. Colton provides a fame adjacent husband that everyone in that world has heard about but doesn’t really know.

He seems the type to be happy as a house husband who dresses up well for fund raisers and has his own, small, bit of shine.

by Anonymousreply 114May 17, 2023 8:30 PM

I'm jealous of Jordy---he gets to fuck Colton every night.

by Anonymousreply 115May 18, 2023 4:55 AM

I wonder if he'll doing Dancing With the Stars now that they're open to male couples.

I really wouldn't call Gleb and Shangela a male couple tho; most people watching might not know that Shangela has a penis.

Colton could partake and dance with a woman. He'd be great with Sharna or Peta or Emma.

by Anonymousreply 116May 18, 2023 5:11 AM

Colton is never going to be invited to Dancing With The Stars. That only happens right after your Bachelor season ends and before you get COVID. Colton got fat and sexually confused.

If things had worked out with Cassidy, Colton wouldn't have changed his sexual preference. He loved her so.

His broken heart lead him astray and he decided to be gay.

I'm glad this well suited man is willing to love, honor and protect Colton. He thinks Colton is handsome and charismatic. A superstar of Dance and soon to be an ACTION hero! Love is blind.

What the fuck you going on about? Colton is dumb and chubby and doesn't even have a great ASS. He's lucky that such a successful man would want him.

Colton's heart is with another.

May jesus visit healing to his troubled mind.

by Anonymousreply 117May 18, 2023 5:50 AM

The moral of the story : look for guys with a face and build like Colton's husband.

by Anonymousreply 118May 18, 2023 6:13 AM

Muriel, can you take this^ rancid cuntress out back and whoop huh ass? GTFO! May Jaysus take a shit on your cheap weave before he condemns you to hell. Die gay hater die!

by Anonymousreply 119May 18, 2023 7:33 AM

^smells like the poster formerly known as miss warwicke^

by Anonymousreply 120May 18, 2023 7:39 AM

If you are going to shoot photos in your loungewear / pajama suit and get paid for wearing matching wristwatches, at least make sure you can properly see each watch face in the pic or you won’t get the full $.

by Anonymousreply 121May 18, 2023 10:02 AM

I noticed the People piece did make mention of 21 Seeds Tequilla, one of their branding deals. But Colton has gotten very lazy recently when it comes to flogging his numerous other benefactors.

You're not going to retain your coveted influencer status that way, Colton.

by Anonymousreply 122May 18, 2023 10:13 AM

Did Colton do a trial date with Chris Appleton like every other prominent Gay man in Chris’ search for a husband? The should have just turned that into a reality TV show.

by Anonymousreply 123May 18, 2023 12:08 PM

Who was that ugly girl on Bachelor that Clayton jumped a fence for? Has anyone considered her feelings in this?

by Anonymousreply 124May 18, 2023 12:47 PM

Next season on Fox, Wednesdays at 8, 7 Central: “Chris Appleton-Marry or Just Fuck?”

by Anonymousreply 125May 18, 2023 12:54 PM

R125 I’d watch, but one of them has to be a killer as well that makes an attempt on his life to keep it dynamic!

by Anonymousreply 126May 18, 2023 6:32 PM

Not an entirely cringey vanity video. They do seem to be into one another. Colton's inner gay is clearly more evident.

They obviously have a nice life. My question, do they work?

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by Anonymousreply 127May 20, 2023 5:45 AM

[quote] Colton's inner gay is clearly more evident.

Is that a euphemism?

by Anonymousreply 128May 20, 2023 6:29 AM

^^^ Not sure...kinda reminds me of the TV ad for some prescription medicine that "visibly repairs the colon lining." Does Colton/do people in general "present colon" in their day-to-day lives?

by Anonymousreply 129May 20, 2023 6:50 AM

Colton values Jordan's ability to expertly traverse the rectum-colon interface.

by Anonymousreply 130May 20, 2023 6:56 AM

How long will this last?

by Anonymousreply 131May 20, 2023 7:41 AM

R127 It’s totally cringe. I can’t watch it. It makes me uncomfortable.

Pete Buttegieg and Colton Underwood make me cringe because they’re like women to me. Closet cases who got married quick after coming out of the closet. They’re like virginal to me. It’s very feminine and unattractive and anti-male nature.

I’m not against monogamy but you’re a man. Go fuck some whores and have fun and leave playing virgin in a white dress to women.

by Anonymousreply 132May 20, 2023 7:42 AM

I’ve never seen Colton on TV - I stopped watching the video at R127 after a minute because they BOTH do the annoying Becky / girlina up-speak thing.

by Anonymousreply 133May 20, 2023 7:49 AM

You sound very enlightened, R132.

by Anonymousreply 134May 20, 2023 7:49 AM

R132 Damn right. Gender non-conformance is threatening to me too. DeSantis 2024!

by Anonymousreply 135May 20, 2023 8:08 AM

R135 I support DeSantis now?

Cause I think there’s a pattern of closet cases who come out and rush into marriages?

If anything, I think there’s a lot of internalized homophobia in why Pete and Colton got married so quickly.

by Anonymousreply 136May 20, 2023 8:14 AM

What's wrong with individuals doing what they want to do? So some gay men want to be lesbians, cool. Not for you, also cool. There is no issue, except that you seem to want to manufacture one.

by Anonymousreply 137May 20, 2023 8:22 AM

R137 Shut the fuck up.

by Anonymousreply 138May 20, 2023 8:31 AM

And this is a man who went from stalking a woman to getting married to a man in a matter of a few years.

There IS something wrong with him.

by Anonymousreply 139May 20, 2023 8:34 AM

Of course there was something wrong with him, repressed homosexuality is not healthy for the mind, the fact that he lifted that weight came out and got married to a man is not exactly a shocker.

by Anonymousreply 140May 20, 2023 8:47 AM

"Yeah? Really ? It was just a fun night, anyway? Obviously, I thought he was super hung? And, um, I just put a lot of pressure on it until I couldn't? Like, because it was so big? And, um, more so than like first impressions there was just this sense of, you know, easiness? And, um.."

by Anonymousreply 141May 20, 2023 9:31 AM

Jordan has a big head, a long neck, and looks retarded when he smiles.

But I hear he has a big dick and money.

by Anonymousreply 142May 20, 2023 9:38 AM

Perez Hilton got married again?

by Anonymousreply 143May 20, 2023 9:38 AM

Silly Judies. Divorced in 17 months. Already open and don't haved sex with each other.

by Anonymousreply 144May 20, 2023 10:21 AM

I predicted a child in ten months, long enough to prove that they weren’t knocked up before the wedding.

by Anonymousreply 145May 20, 2023 2:42 PM

[quote] r3 I dunno, I don’t have interest in playing house like straight people. I guess that makes me horrible or weird.

[quote] r9 Nothing sillier looking than two guys in matching suits under a flower draped arbor - just go to city hall and host all your friends for a cocktail party at a bar.

And too many other great quotes from my gay bros who don't buy this nonsense they're ramming down our throats.

I'm happy I'm not the only gay man who thinks this marriage charade is a heteronormative farce. They look like clowns in their matching suits.

by Anonymousreply 146May 20, 2023 3:15 PM

R146 Agreed. It’s a farce even for straight people!

by Anonymousreply 147May 20, 2023 6:51 PM

r147 I hope the flower draped arbor falls on their heads. Hahaha.

Matching suits? I and partner look completely opposite and dress entirely differently. And when we make love the roof shakes! Fuck these guys going twinsy with their marriage nonsense.

by Anonymousreply 148May 20, 2023 7:45 PM

All I'm hearing in this thread is the same tiresome and predictable hatred for openly gay celebrities that DL has become known for. OMG, matching suits!

by Anonymousreply 149May 20, 2023 10:13 PM

Happy to hear that Colton has a new project - he's renovating their home in Sherman Oaks! Can't wait to see photos of the nursery.

Wonder how those who paid $$ last year to buy into his NFT project are feeling these days.

by Anonymousreply 150May 20, 2023 10:37 PM

[quote] All I'm hearing in this thread is the same tiresome and predictable hatred for openly gay celebrities that DL has become known for. OMG, matching suits!

r149 Huh? I want independence and strength from my "gay celebrities", thank you very much.

JFC, show us your wardrobe. I don't need to see these dimwits playing twinsies in their matching blue suits.

I don't hate them. I pity them that they've fallen into the silly mawkish marriage trap.

by Anonymousreply 151May 21, 2023 1:13 AM

The moral of the story, a fat wallet and a big dick can land you anything.

by Anonymousreply 152May 21, 2023 1:27 AM

R149 - we don’t hate them because they’re gay, we hate them because they’re Basic Homo Fraus

by Anonymousreply 153May 21, 2023 1:30 AM

r153 Thank you. Fraus!!! I hate the overuse of that word here. But it describes those two perfectly.🤣

by Anonymousreply 154May 21, 2023 1:36 AM

Colton became openly gay when he figured out a way to make that his career. He's not some standard bearer.

by Anonymousreply 155May 21, 2023 3:52 PM

Those outfits look very matchy matchy.

by Anonymousreply 156May 21, 2023 4:15 PM

R156 = Tim Gunn

by Anonymousreply 157May 21, 2023 7:30 PM

Their suits were not matching. One wore green, the other blue. Who else but Tom Ford? It was a wedding, not a red carpet.

by Anonymousreply 158May 21, 2023 9:09 PM

Is Colton the heir to the Underwood Deviled Ham fortune?

by Anonymousreply 159May 21, 2023 9:40 PM

Looks like father and son….eewwww

by Anonymousreply 160May 21, 2023 10:09 PM

A serious downgrade from Colton's bio-dad.

by Anonymousreply 161May 21, 2023 10:44 PM

R160 - if the groom(squared) looked anything like Colton's actual father, NONE of us would be wondering about the marriage.

Underwood Pere = Hubba Hubba

by Anonymousreply 162May 21, 2023 11:22 PM

R162 Bio papa Underwood has a bit of a chubby and flat face. He doesn’t look intelligent or sophisticated to me. Hubby Papa looks hotter imo but just too old…..

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 163May 22, 2023 12:26 AM

However, Colton‘s father and his hubby would make a hot couple, actually…..

by Anonymousreply 164May 22, 2023 12:27 AM

Did he lose his anal virginity on the wedding night?

He IS a devout Christian after all...

by Anonymousreply 165May 22, 2023 12:30 AM

Nobody hates gay men as much as some DLers.

by Anonymousreply 166May 22, 2023 12:30 AM

R166 ….OPENLY gay men, ahem.

by Anonymousreply 167May 22, 2023 12:34 AM

R167 Ahh yes, sorry. My apologies.

by Anonymousreply 168May 22, 2023 12:53 AM

Clayton is a very handsome young man.

by Anonymousreply 169May 22, 2023 9:08 PM

Clayton Bush? Yes, yes he is!

by Anonymousreply 170May 22, 2023 9:38 PM

When did Colton and his bio-dad break up? They were very loving on The Bachelor.

by Anonymousreply 171May 23, 2023 1:52 AM

After Colton asked to top.

by Anonymousreply 172May 23, 2023 2:00 AM

Colton strikes me as the kind of Gay who would cry if asked to top.

by Anonymousreply 173May 23, 2023 2:50 AM

R152, Amen.

If I had a fat wallet, I'd make sure I had a twink in my bed Monday through Weds, a hot daddy hunk in my bed Thursday through Sat., and on Sunday, I'd rest.

But sure, deep down, I'd feel empty. lol; rolls eyes.

by Anonymousreply 174May 23, 2023 5:15 AM

[quote] Nobody hates gay men as much as some DLers.

r166 Because we're not charmed by two celebrities who adopt heteronormative norms, we hate gay men?

I see, toe the conformist line, behave, be good little married gays in matching suits, or some DLers will try to silence you.

by Anonymousreply 175May 23, 2023 8:12 AM

Or you could be a noxious unaware twat with a stupid name.

by Anonymousreply 176May 23, 2023 12:05 PM


by Anonymousreply 177May 23, 2023 2:36 PM

He’s an (above)Average White Guy - everything he does is above reproach and good for The Gays(tm)

if you DARE think differently you’re worse than Anita Bryant French-kissing Hitler!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 178May 23, 2023 3:03 PM

[quote] When did Colton and his bio-dad break up? They were very loving on The Bachelor.

He was in on the Bachelor con. He caught Colton browsing gay porn in high school, and knew the real story.

Eventually he got on board with the Coming Out narrative, and ultimately was at the wedding.

by Anonymousreply 179May 24, 2023 7:47 AM

Did Bio Dad walk Colton down the aisle?

by Anonymousreply 180May 24, 2023 1:30 PM

Which one is the top? Or, is there one?

by Anonymousreply 181May 24, 2023 1:34 PM

So how long until they hire a surrogate? Six months? One year?

by Anonymousreply 182May 24, 2023 1:38 PM

Surrogate - nine months. Divorce Lawyer - before baby's first birthday.

by Anonymousreply 183May 24, 2023 5:12 PM

I don't understand all the bitching about the husband's looks. He's handsome and his body looks like it's in good shape. And he's apparently wealthy. WTF. As if we all have partners that are better-looking than the husband. Give me a break. As if we all have partners, period.

I think Colton is the one who won't age well. He's YOUNG, right now. That's what he's got going for him. He looks doughy in the face.

by Anonymousreply 184May 24, 2023 5:57 PM
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