Eurovision Song Contest 2023

Fuck this cow with those gross nails and that Panini press, I'm never watching ESC again if she wins. She already had her shot and she won, let someone else have that experience now. And yes, her diet Euphoria song sucks ass and has actually retroactively lessened Euphoria for me.

It's crazy how I went from wanting Sweden to win last year to "anyone but Sweden" this year. Such is the power of this cow.

Who?

Anyway, let Ukraine win another time just because it will piss off Putin SO MUCH, he he.

Ukraine winning (again) is actually a bad thing since it empowers the russophiles in European countries, while having barely any effect on Putin himself. Once was fine, but twice in a row would be disastrous for the contest. We already have three countries skipping this year.

Russia must be among those countries skipping. Well, what a great loss indeed . . .

Croatia for the win

r4 Russia was kicked out of the contest indefinitely one day after the invasion started. I'm referring to Bulgaria, Montenegro, and North Macedonia.

Am not sure about Liverpool as the venue.

With the way LFC are capsizing and sinking in the League this year, and in the wake of Paul O'Grady's sudden recent death, the entire City is a powder keg of grief and shame and anger waiting to go off. This event may well be the lighter to the fuse for a lot of violence, rioting and looting.

My favourite so far is Norway's Alessandra. It's very ESC.

r7 I don't know why they went with Liverpool either, it's one of the smallest ESC venues this century. In these post-pandemic times, we should be opening up and letting as many people as possible party on those three nights. It would also be a greater boon for the host city.

r8 I don't mind it, but it's generic Nordic kitsch, we can do better than that.

Why is Kosovo gray?

Because their broadcaster isn't a member of the European Broadcasting Union. There's a deal currently being hashed out with Serbia that would allow Kosovo to enter all these international organisations (including the UN) but without Serbia having to recognise its independence. They've agreed to it verbally, they "just" need to ratify it. Should that happen, Kosovo could take part in ESC.

Belgium has sent a camp 90s deep house number. And it's kind of fun. I hope it can qualify in the very easy SF 2.

r12 I feel bad for our eldergay Gustaph, he's gonna flop hard, I can't see a way this qualifies.

That's not "deep house". But yeah it's kind of catchy. The art direction is tired as fuck, of course.

The video is going for a throwback to a certain era, but veers too far in that direction. He's not the best dancer, so they had to film and edit their way around him.

Mama ŠČ

Is Ohio joining this year?

R15 They should have just let the hairy guy dance the whole video. One can see he's got good moves in his repertoire

r17 No, but Georgia might finally qualify to the Grand Final with this diction queen.

R19 I didn't like Georgia until I saw a video of her performing that song live - her live vocals are outstanding (so outstanding that they make you forget about her horrible English pronunciation).

R8 Ugh, can't stand the Norwegian song. It sounds exactly like Klara Hammarstrom's song from last year's Melodifestivalen (which in turn sounded like dozens of other songs that came before). If Norway likes kitschy pop so much they should have picked that goth twink Jone instead. That yodelling hologram would have set Liverpool on fire!

“This is my time, this is my place! We are one nation! We are loud we sing it proud! The future is in our hands.. Something something our destiny…”

r21 You joke, but that's literally Ireland's entry this year. And they're getting so much shit for it, I feel bad for those handsome Irish boys because this song doesn't reflect their existing discography at all. On the other hand, that's what they get for using Swedish writers.

By the way, Liechtenstein has never participated in ESC.

Where are the pretty men?

R22 Lol I just find the songs sometimes predictable and European music in general they always are talking about destiny. Must be a cultural difference compared to the “New World”.

[quote] Where are the pretty men?

Certainly not in the German delegation...

r24 That's thankfully been changing over the past five years or so. The UK got punished consistently for sending over generic empowerment anthems, until they finally decided on something fresh last year and ended up in second place as a result. Believe it or not, but the juries and the European youth that vote in this contest are both done with those cheesy songs. And thank fuck for that, not a moment too soon.

r23 The Dutch guy is almost too pretty and his song is decent as well.

R23, the lead singer of The Busker.

This Aussie representing Cyprus this year is very good looking as well. Shit song, though.

I agree, Dion is super pretty. Too bad he has zero onstage chemistry with that wench. I have no idea why they decided to make that track into a duet in the first place, because it doesn't really add anything to the song.

The Greek singer is cute too but he's so young I'm afraid I'd end up on some sex offenders register by posting a pic of his.

R29 Yeah, Cyprus and that dreadful wailing song from Spain are at the bottom of my list this year.

[quote]The Greek singer is cute too but he's so young I'm afraid I'd end up on some sex offenders register by posting a pic of his.

I mentioned somewhere else I found his hairy legs in the music video sexy and felt super bad moments later when I found out he was only 16! But whatever, 16 is the age of consent in my country and 15 in Greece, I don't care. I do think the age to compete should be raised to 18, however.

The Irish "handsome men" have wisely chosen Party City hoods.

R32 I kept waiting for the tune to start.

The singer from Malta is charming and not even a twink.

France will be represented by a Canadian this year, which doesn't happen very often.

r34 He composed the thing himself, that's why it sounds so amateurish.

Well that's sweet but why award amateur hour?

[quote] Ukraine winning (again) is actually a bad thing since it empowers the russophiles in European countries, while having barely any effect on Putin himself.

Russia snd Ukraine are two different countries. How would Ukraine winning help Russia? I’m curious.

loves it

The Greek kid is a) half-Danish (father, real name Jørgensen), b) a total nepo baby - like a superrich one - and c) that song is a total Shawn Mendes ripoff; not very on trend of him. He's about as authentically Greek as the Norwegian girl last year or the Dutch girl the year before or the Canadian girl the year before that. At least Helena Paparizou sang a Greek sounding Swedish song when she won.

r38 Because it breeds resentment among the people. I can't read articles about the contest on my national broadcaster's website anymore because it's full of comments from those who are still butthurt Ukraine won last year not on merit, but out of pity. That affects their view of the war as well.

This might seem like a silly little contest in the US, but most people here take it as just like a sporting competition and they're pissed whenever it looks like it's unfair.

[quote]those who are still butthurt Ukraine won last year not on merit, but out of pity

Maybe in your country, R41 (Spain? Those Chanelstans are vicious cunts).

But Stefania was groundbreaking and actually deserved its win (first lead rap song to win, fantastic mix of folk and hip hop, great staging as the Ukranians are known for). The pity was for perennial doormats Spain and UK who sent above-average and were overrewarded for it.

I really hope Sweden does not win. That song belongs in Junior Eurovision.

r42 Not just in my country, the meltdown on Reddit from people all over was so bad, I had to avoid anything ESC-related until the new season started. I did like Stefania and agreed with its win, I was just pointing out the rhetoric of the plebs.

r43 I trust Europe (and Australia) to see through her blatant attempt to recreate Euphoria. I think we might be in for a pleasant surprise with the juries, there's no way they're giving her a second win with so many quality entries to choose from.

The saddest thing about Loreen serving us Euphoria 2.0 is that her music started to evolve very nicely after her Eurovision win - it began to sound more mature and she even had the guts to challenge traditional beauty standards by shaving her head somewhere along the way. Even her Melodifestivalen 2017 entry sounded very experimental. But she must have been super shocked to not even reach the grand final in Sweden that year so back to basic Eurodance and lip injections for her it is!

You still have to admit that her staging for Tattoo is very effective but when she performed that song without the panini press and the fog machine for the first time in Madrid a few days ago it became even more obvious what a below par song it really is. Even Loreen's charisma and powerful voice can't make it work without the pricey staging.

And apparently she can't bring the press with her to Liverpool, which made me cackle. I just hope those sneaky Swedes don't come up with something even more eye-catching.

Were people not creaming themselves over the Madrid performance? I heard only good things about it on the ESC podcast I listen to, although I tend to avoid anything Loreen-related on the socials, I'm allergic to her at this point.

When Eurovision was truly entertainment, a contest between nations who took pride in their language.

r47 Hopefully you're joking, that was awful. It might be in German, but it's literally white people in brownface (yellowface?).

I'm so grateful we've moved on from the circus years, although we'll see what happens with Croatia this year.

I hate to quote that old Tibetan perv but you can suck my tongue, R48! Dschinghis Khan is a Eurovision classic, and deservedly so. Ralph Siegel really knew how to write a catchy tune back in the day (and speaking of pervs, Herr Siegel married a woman 37 years his junior a few years ago, which ranks very high on the ickiness scale).

Croatia's song this year is fun too. Their frontman can't really sing in tune, though in many ways his croaking voice fits that chaotic composition just perfect.

I'm not above mindless joy -- I love Rasputin, which came out the year before, but Dschinghis Khan sounds like a lesser ripoff.

I don't know what the hell was in the air in West Germany at the time that they came up with these two songs back-to-back.

[quote] Hopefully you're joking, that was awful. It might be in German, but it's literally white people in brownface (yellowface?).

R48 illustrates why creativity is dead and why Eurovision has turned into a boring contest of who sings better in English.

38% of entries this year will be sung (sometimes partially) in their native language. And that's not including the UK, Ireland, Australia and Malta where English is the official language. That's not good enough for you? You want to return to pre-1998 times where everyone was required to sing in their own language, which was exactly what enabled Ireland to win seven times?

Creativity encompasses more than just the language the song is delivered in. Artists should be able to express themselves in whatever language they want.

[quote] Artists should be able to express themselves in whatever language they want.

A bunch of people who happen to be from a bunch of countries. not necessarily in Europe, the vast majority of whom sing in English. Which defeats the whole purpose of Eurovision. And is exactly why it's become boring nonsense.

Agree to disagree. I've never been a fan of this perspective from English speakers who tune into ESC once a year to hear exotic sounds coming from the mouths of us non-English speakers. We're not zoo animals.

You can convey the culture and the state of the music industry in your country through composition, the instruments, the staging... not just the lyrics. Also, the past two winners have not been in English and it's highly likely this year's winner won't be either.

Ireland won 7 times because they are singing men, flamboyant and entertaining men, Kathleen!

[Quote]You want to return to pre-1998 times where everyone was required to sing in their own language,?

Yes, I do and I'm not the guy you were addressing. This is ridiculous. It's cultural imperialism and it's insidious. Why tf should reps of any Euro member nation abandon their national language to perform in a foreign one? It's demeaning.

[quote]Why tf should reps of any Euro member nation abandon their national language to perform in a foreign one? It's demeaning.

How is it demeaning when the artists themselves choose the language they perform in and then the people in that country vote to send that entry over to represent the country at Eurovision? You really think you know better than them?

It's actually demeaning and imperialistic to be telling (small) countries what language they should be sending over to Eurovision. And that's coming from someone who lives in one of those countries and is sick and tired of that know-it-all mindset that always seems to flow only one way. We'll use the language we want and you use the one you want, thank you very much.

Also, what if a country wants to experiment and send over something in Latin? It would also not be able to do so under the old draconian language rules.

[Quote]How is it demeaning when the artists themselves choose the language they perform in and then the people in that country vote to send that entry over to represent the country at Eurovision?

I did write that cultural imperialism is insidious. And this is a fine example.

If you are indeed a citizen of a small country even more reason to protect and promote your language. Even in my country, Spain, we take measures to protect regional languages so they don't die. (This is a struggle but at least we try)

But no, you it seems welcome getting run over by outside forces that work to devalue your language. You embrace it.

From UNESCO:

[Quote]Despite the immense value of languages, more than half of all languages are in danger of falling into disuse, with devastating impacts for global linguistic diversity

UNESCO understands the threats posed to language diversity. Eurovision song contest is a good example.

Language is the essence of cultural identity..

Eurovision takes place once a year, our language will be just fine if we decide to send a song in English occasionally. We haven't done it in a couple of years, but maybe we'll do it next year, who knows. That's what it's all about -- the freedom of choice, of being allowed to decide for ourselves how we want to be represented, rather than being lectured by others how we should go about safeguarding our cultural heritage.

Also, you can't just dismiss my argument or the way my country votes by saying we're simply victims of insidious cultural imperialism. That's yet more nonsense by larger countries aimed towards the smaller ones. We're always just helpless victims of the global trends, with zero agency of our own and we can't possibly know what's good for us, right?

[quote] our language will be just fine

I wonder. Is it a written language as well as a spoken language?

I'm grateful at least that the countries in which I am a citizen (Spain, Italy and Croatia) have entries in national language though I do hang my head in shame for the Croatian mess.

r60 It's one of the official languages of the EU, so yes, it's a written language. The only languages that are spoken but not written are the dying languages of certain African tribes, argo, slang and so on.

*argot, even

I wonder if Croatia will fail to translate outside the Balkans just as Achille Lauro failed to translate outside of Italy last year. People keep pointing out their long career in ex-Yugo countries, but none of that matters at ESC, just as Lauro's career didn't matter last year.

[quote] the dying languages of certain African tribes

The Australian tribes never wrote anything so their language is also dying.

The English made lousy translations of those dying languages and concluded that the city of Sydney is located on land where the so-called 'Cadigal' tribe' lived.

Unfortunately, a closer reading of the earliest translations reveals that the words 'Cadi Gal' means 'Penis Tribe'.

The entry for England should have been written and composed in Scouse language.

Scouse language is fair enough.

It is genuine.

That poster above (who owns a drawer full of passports) must be deaf because Croatian song has something important the Spanish and Italian ones sorely lack - it's actually fun to listen to! The Spanish one feels like nothing but a jury bait, with Blanca showcasing her vocal range (and it's so monotonous it feels like it's at least ten minutes long) and the other one is a yet another case of a returning Eurovision artist whose song isn't up to par to his previous offering. Due Vite is nowhere near the perfection that was L'essenziale (though kudos to Marco for buffing up a bit since 2013).

And just a quick reminder - Spaniards actually had a chance to send this guy to Eurovision and they went with the crazy wailing woman instead. That should be considered a hate crime against Eurovision gay fans everywhere!

He's insanely hot and can dance his ass off, but wasn't he relying on backing vocals to a ridiculous amount? I mean, it's always a red flag when you can hear singing at the same volume whenever a performer moves the mic away from his mouth.

I don't get L'Essenziale at all. Due Vite is so much more beautifully composed, with a clearer narrative. Although, it does lose some of its charm in the truncated 3-minute form.

IS the Croatian song fun to listen to? I agree with the BBC reviewer -- musically, it's a cacophonous travesty. Reminds me of a garish carnival carousel, and not in a good way.

One (or even two) of those three is gonna bomb hard, and it's not gonna be Marco.

The Croatian song is supposed to be cacophonous — it’s a Dr Strangelove riff about the insanity of war. It’s this year’s Konstrakta or Hatari and will finish similarly high. There are three meme-worthy lyrics in this year’s contest: Cha Cha Cha, Poe Poe Poe, and Mama Kupila Traktura ŠČ. Be proud, Croatia…some of us love you for this.

The YouTube reactions to Konstrakta last year and Croatia this year are like night and day. People latched onto Konstrakta's clapping immediately despite not knowing the words, while Croatia just leaves them confused. I think they might qualify, but they'll flop in the final. Mid table at best. Hatari's song had the wtf factor, but was also sleek and modern, how dare you, lol.

I admit though I have started using "krokodiski" in my everyday conversations in places where I previously said "monstrous" and "awful". So they have left an impact on me.

R70 It's traktora, not traktura

R71 It's krokodilski, not krokodiski

R8 Thank you! I actually like our song this year (and I usually hate our ESC songs). I don't think it will win because of Loreen, but it might (and should) get to the top 10, maybe even top 5. Fun fact: Alessandra is from my home town :)

Wasn't the Norwegian chick born and raised in Italy? Does she have any noticeable Italian accent when speaking Norwegian, Norgie?

R69 Italy rarely bombs at Eurovision and Marco is a great singer who already did well the first time (even in my opinion L'esenzialle should have been top 5 at least).

After a great (and rare) last year, Spain is a total hit or miss this year. Blanca Paloma is an amazing singer but going ethnic generally only works for balkan countries. Anyway it's doing surprisingly well at betting odds (maybe because she is really a strong performer)

R74 She is half Norwegian. Her Norwegian family is from my home town :)

r72 I know it's krokodilski, it was a typo, it's the same in my language. Spellcheck didn't catch it because it's set to English here on DL.

Alessandra saw the youth unemployment in Italy and said fuck this, I'm gonna make use of my grandparents and Norway's oil money.

Gurl needs to get her vocals in order because she's a mess when she gets overly excited. That high note at the pre-parties was not it. And the Italian intro is the best part of the song, don't even dare argue with me on this.

R76 I remember you talking years ago about that JOWST guy and Didrik Solli Tangen being from your hometown as well. That's a pretty high number of Eurovision representatives for such a small town.

I'm looking at photos of Porsgrunn online right now. Looks like a rather dull place. But the nearby Brevik looks gorgeous. I'm a sucker for these cutesy wootsy Scandinavian small towns with wooden houses.

R78 LOL about the youth employment! Yes, she is from Porsgrunn. You're right, it is a dull little town, but it's ok. I live close to the Eidangerfjord, so I can go fishing, swimming and boating whenever I want. Also, it's not too far from Oslo. I can be in Oslo (the capital) in under 2 hours. So it really isn't that bad. I mean... at least it's safe. I also have my family and friends here. My life is good here (but maybe a bit boring). Like I said... it's ok, nothing more, nothing less.

Anyways, about Alessandra and her Norwegian. She is fluent, but from this interview I can tell she struggles with her words sometimes (because she switches between Norwegian and English), but the Norwegian she does speak is very good. It just seems like she doesnt know all the words, if that makes sense?

Which video did you watch where she had bad vocals? Because in the Norwegian final she had a cold and had lost her voice, so it sounded a bit sketchy. I don't think her voice is that bad (though it's not the greatest either). She should do fine in the international final as long as she stays healthy. Her voice is good enough for the song imo.

R8 Alessandra is out as bisexual. I wonder if she's actually bisexual though, or just "bisexual".

Love the implication that Oslo isn't "safe". But whatever, we've clashed over your conservative views in other threads over the years, let's not get into that whole thing again. ESC is about coming together, after all.

I recall Alessandra mentioning somewhere her bisexuality was causing her a lot of trouble (lol) back in Italy. So I think she's the real deal. She sucked at the Madrid pre-party, but that's probably because she's used to top-notch sound setups, not the cheap crap the Spaniards bust out for their pre-parties every year.

The acoustic version is something else. Shows just how breathing-intensive the original version is, which leaves little room for error.

R82 I didn't say Oslo wasn't safe, maybe I just worded myself badly. English is my second language. Oslo is actually one of the safest capitals in the world. Rarely anything bad happens. You normally don't hear about stabbings, shooting, murders etc. Oslo is pretty safe. I was just saying that so is my little town, lol.

R82 I agree that her vocals there weren't great. She actually sounded better in the Norwegian final, and that's when she had a cold! WTF?! As I said, I don't think she has the best voice in the world, but it's decent. The song doesn't really demand that much, singining-wise, so she should be ok in the semifinal.

Liverpool is not safe. I mean it’s really not. I live about 50 miles from it and it’s very rough, the people are hard and it’s not very diverse for an English city of its size and its airport is tiny. I suppose they chose it for the pretty waterfront/arena area but the rest of the place is just awful.

R82 Alessandra seemed totally drunk in Madrid (too much sangria?). At one point during her performance she actually let out a burp-like sound.

And another epic moment in Madrid was Loreen getting caught using an autotuned microphone. Busted!

She had pharyngitis at the MGP final. You can hear how it causes her to fuck up at 1:52, for instance.

I think most of the acts were sloshed at the Madrid and the Barcelona pre-party. Sangría can hit you like a bitch if you're not used to it.

r88 I can't stand her, but she did only use the autotune for Euphoria, not Tattoo.

R81 Or a lesbian that calls herself bi, à la Kirsten Stewart and Cara Delevingne

Our new favourite bisexual Norwegian butchering her song in Amsterdam minutes ago.

She has exactly three weeks left to get her shit together.

Mama, idem u rat

^ mama, ja se idem igrat

Today was the first time I willingly put on "Queen of Kings". I still think it's a poor man's "Run to the Hills" but Alessandra's likable babydyke energy did win me over at least a bit.

But that Amsterdam performance was not good. Just like in Madrid she started sounding worse and worse as that high note was approaching - it's like she's so nervous about hitting it correctly it makes her vocals all shaky. I don't usually approve of prerecorded vocals (unless you happen to be Aritz Aren or at least have ass hot enough to match his) but she should just lip sync that note in Liverpool and get it over with. If EBU was foolish enough to legalize lipsyncing it would be even more foolish not to take advantage of it. There are some who say that Eden Alene's iconic whistle note wasn't live either back in 2021.

She won't be lipsyncing the high note, it's the pièce de résistance of the whole song. But I agree that she butchered the bridge at r92 precisely because of the reason you mentioned -- she's in her head, thinking of the high note, going "oh shit, it's coming, it's coming". Girlfriend needs to relax and understand that the whistle note is the least of her problems.

r94 That had better be an addition instead of another correction because both of those sentences are in the lyrics.

Our bisexual southern-cum-northern queen just released the Italian version of her song and of course it slaps a hundred times harder than the original.

[quote] it will piss off Putin SO MUCH, he he.

and that of course is the whole point of singing contests

Hope that Putin doesn't nuke us after this

R99 He wouldn't touch the country whose president is one his most loyal admirers.

Meanwhile the Dutch are in complete meltdown over their off-key, media-unfriendly duo handpicked by the 2019 winner and rubberstamped by a selection committee consisting of the worst hacks and has-beens in NL pop culture. Expect a non-qualification and enjoy the infighting and terrible singing!

That Dion somehow has the body of a 12-year-old is the mystery the Dutch should actually be trying to solve.

I don't get all the hysteria, they didn't sound *that* bad to me? But yeah, the chemistry is definitely off, they obviously have no interest in being a duo, so why force them together like that? I do still like the song a lot.

R100 Are you confusing Croatia with Serbia?

Nope, I meant Putin's little boy Milanović.

R104 Milanovic is a liberal, which is totally opposite of Putin. And he is pro EU. So how is his little boy exactly?

Being a liberal doesn't automatically mean anti-Putin. He's a Russia-loving tankie, just like Brazil's Lula, Chomsky and countless other progressives in the US and elsewhere. Also found here on DL.

[quote]Zoran Milanovic told reporters in the Croatian capital that it is “mad” to believe that Russia can be defeated in a conventional war. “I am against sending any lethal arms there,” Milanovic said. “It prolongs the war.”

R105 Milanović used to be liberal in his younger days, he has become a fervent nationalist lately.

R107 No, he didn't

Look R108, I don't want to wash our dirty laundry before these Americans, otherwise if I put some links on...

You're both kinda right. He's a populist first and foremost, i.e. he says what's popular with the people. Being in the Balkans, that often includes nationalist crap.

Anyway, I hate that we don't get to see the first round of rehearsals starting next week anymore. Loved the annual meltdowns in the fandom.

This Swedish cutie with a musical background, who is also my favourite YouTube reactor, is doing almost daily watchalongs of older ESC contests in order leading up to Liverpool, starting with 1980. He's doing the 1983 one later tonight. I've always avoided these, thinking they were too dated, stuck up, and boring. But they're not that bad at all? They're super taut, with just one interval act. Why are the modern ones so bloated?

Watching the 1982 contest made me wanna fuck the toothy guy from Bucks Fizz. And no, I'm not googling what he looks like today, I prefer the illusion.

Am I going to hell if I admit to finding the sleazy Croat president sexy? Even with his pockmarked face I'd do him in a heartbeat.

He reminds me of Yeltsin too much, that part where he's swimming in his own neck. And like you said, his skin is terrible.

He'd need to go on Ozempic before I could judge his cuteness properly.

R113 Yeltsin as a young man actually wasn't that shabby looking.

And I'm pretty sure he was fucking one of his college classmates. I mean, just look at this photo of the two of them together. How do you say "gay as hell" in Russian?

Sparks are flying in this photo too. Those old-school Soviets sure took brotherly love to a whole new level.

Dylan Mulvaney drama reaches Europe -- creative director for Ireland's delegation exposed as one of our DL trolls.

He's hot, but he really should know at his age what you can and cannot say when you're posting on your main.

Very nice! The band have sacked him.

They're still getting last in SF1, so this won't help Ireland a bit.

I don't really feel much when gays hotter than me get cancelled, sue me.

Do we know why Marco didn't do any of the pre-parties? Is he too precious for them? Same for that Greece kid and the Cyprus guy. I think he's only done this ZDF show so far. And there seems to be no end to his leather phase, I have no idea what he's trying to convey with that.

Charles and Camiller inaugurating the Liverpool stage.

J.K. Rowling tweeted her support for Ian Banham. God I love that woman!

I want to be gang railed by three quarters of the San Marino band. God, these boys are sexy.

r123 Hilarious, she just can't help herself. Something tells me he won't be lacking in cock going forward, so he'll be fine. Work, maybe, but definitely not cock.

Rehearsals started today. I love Mimicat's hot backup dancer (the one on the right). Whew, at least we'll get to see one Iberian hottie on Eurovision stage this year (since stupid Spaniards went for that screaming banshee instead of poor Aritz).

Yeah, I clocked that guy immediately when the photos came out, he's hot.

In related news, our bisexual queen low-key flopped at rehearsals today, but she's releasing her song in German, French, Spanish and Polish, so can't wait to jam to that. No Norwegian version, for reasons well known to anyone who's ever heard a Norwegian speak.

R126 I'm pretty sure that only lyrics in those videos she's releasing today are gonna be in the languages you mentioned, but the song itself is staying in English. And that's too bad, because I'd love to hear how Queen of Kings sounds in phonetically learned Polish.

Oh no! I got so hyped and everything, her Italian version is already my favourite ESC song this year. Well, shit.

It's recently come to my attention that we came THIS close [demonstrates with his fingers] to seeing this beauty representing Serbia this year. He won the televote but the juries snatched him and went for that annoying lip-glossed queen instead.

Definitely the worst atrocity the Serbs have committed since Srebrenica and quite comparable to what the Spaniards have done to Aritz this year. I honestly can't remember the last time Eurovision was this short on male eye candy.

I watched Serbia's selection live and yeah, he's hot, but the song was clichéd Balkan crap and he had a Serbian flag projected onto the floor, which vaguely looked like a Russian flag because it was flipped and lacked the coat of arms. In any case, it was gross and everyone knew exactly which kinds of votes he was courting with that.

And let me just warn you, he's super short – I happen to be into those otherwise – and his beard is concealing a weak chin (I studied his face closely during the green room segments). Without the muscly arms and the beard, he'd be twinkier than Luke Black. Whose lip gloss I also am not a fan of.

Thank you for providing that thorough study of his body. But there's nothing too critical in there (at least nothing that Tom Cruise-style shoe lifts and avoiding the shaving razor can't solve).

But your comment did make me look up for some older pics of him. Yeah, he was definitely just an average-looking white guy (with yellow teeth!) before his big makeover and the name change. It's easy to see why so many guys are sporting big beards these days - those things will do wonders.

He really has a lovely profile and his nose is my favourite part. And he pings to me to high heaven, I wouldn't be surprised to learn he does dudes on the side.

Here's a fun tool that allows you to sort all of the competing songs from your favorite to least favorite one, by pitting them against each other.

So according to this my 5 least favorite entries this year are: the UK (their 2022 Eurovision renaissance definitely was brief), Cyprus, Israel, Austria and the Spanish banshee.

And my top 5 are (in descending order): Lithuania, Croatia, Georgia, Finland and ARMENIA. Hmm, I guess I didn't even realize until now how much I love Brunette's song. But that last part where she switches from English to Hayaren sure gives me goosebumps every time I hear it (and also makes me mad a bit that she didn't simply record the whole thing in Armenian). It's just sad she was given the dreaded death sloth in her semi-final. She's gonna have a hard time making it to the Grand Final, even if she is in the less competitive semi-finals of the two.

You like Monika's that much, really? She delivers on the vocals every single time, but the song is so samey. I did have the Čiūto tūto part stuck in my head for a week, that is one lethal-ass hook.

Georgia and Armenia are both great, I agree. I ranked Loreen dead last in that Eurovision Scoreboard app, I cannot stand the sight of her at this point. And all the basic gays on the ESC podcasts I listen to are creaming themselves over her, my inner homophobe really flares up in those moments.

I agree, the verses of Monika's song are snooze-inducing but the Čiuto Tuto part more than makes up for it. This song is nowhere near the perfection that last year's Lithuanian song was (remember that mushroom-haired goddess?!) but music-wise this is such a weak year that it's still among the best of the bunch for me.

Also agree with you on Loreen's overratedness. She's like Meryl Streep of the Eurovision world at this point. Euphoria has attained an almost mythical status in the ESC community so the gays are eating out of her hands like starving birds, even with her giving them such a lacklustre song. I almost burst out laughing when those queens at wiwibloggs gave Tattoo the highest ever score in the history of their website a few days ago (she got 9.31 points out of 10). Even Euphoria wasn't rated that high! For comparison, the Lithuanian goddess last year got 6.56/10 and Armenia this year received measly 6.36 points from them.

I think people have become almost scared of criticizing Loreen. The Croatian jury was the only one that didn't award Tattoo with douze points at Melodifestivalen this year and they quickly became an object of ridicule in the media (because how dare they not give her the maximum points!)

I'd love to see her flop but I just don't see it happening. All we can hope for now is for that giant toaster to squish her midperformance (though that would probably still mean a pity victory for Sweden).

Mama Sč is the answer. Wote for Mama Šč

You can now also buy official Mama Щ socks!

"Čarape" has always been just the funniest Serbo-Croatian word to me, so funny seeing it pop up here on DL.

R135 I got so depressed when those international jury results came out, she really does seem like a freight train coming at us full speed and there's nothing we can do about it. I just can't with the "yass slay mawma queen of Eurovision snap snap" for a full year if/when she wins. I'll have to tune out until next May in that case.

Holy Mother of God, what a horrible dress Monika decided to wear! She's lucky the Barbara Dex award was cancelled.

Yeah, that's possibly the worst outfit of the whole lineup. On the plus side, she killed at her rehearsal.

Meanwhile, my San Marino boys looked as sexy as ever and the hottest one even showed nip backstage. I feel so blessed.

Don't forget the first Semi Final in an hour's time!

There's a live stream on YouTube but I'm not sure if it's geo-blocked

The YouTube stream is for sure geoblocked in the States, you need the premium Peacock plan to watch it.

They can also tune in via the high-quality Swedish online stream instead.

I think Loreen is a sure shot.

To be honest i don't understand the fuss about Finland. I think Ukraine will flop and France and Spain will do well with juries but it's difficult to know how they'll do with televote.

Italy will be top 10, probably higher

Alesha Dixon can’t rap for shit.

Portugal and Malra wete horrendous.

I think only Norway, Ireland and Switzerland are safe so far.

Curious how Liza Minnelli look-alike Mia Nicolai from The Netherlands does with her singing partner Dion.

I thought Portugal was wonderful. The Serbia guy was eating his own cock, he was bombing so hard. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't qualify.

The Swiss guy rolls his Rs so much, he sounds more American than the Americans.

This Swedish hoe, oh my god can she just go away already, PLEASE.

She's winning this, isn't she? Fuck.

If the Irish band hadn't sacked their gay creative guy for being a TERF the lead singer might not have taken to the stage with the most awful camel toe.

Couldn't Panti Bliss teach him how to tuck?

Very cute twins

r148 He looked completely out of it as well, the poor sod.

R147 I am hoping Finland will win.

Bad semi even with ESC standards

Holy shit, the Dutch duo kinda ate? One of the best of the night, crazy how much they've improved since the pre-parties.

My precious Finnish butterfly up next. 🥺

Good luck Käärijä, baby!

The Ukrainian woman singing Ordinary World is amazing. Fantastic staging as well. Rebecca Ferguson changing the melody made her parts quite unpleasant.

Rebecca's lower notes weren't pleasant to the ear at all.

Rita whOra!

Oh well poor Ireland but at least we don't have to witness that golden shimmering crotch crevice ever again.

Was hoping against hope Croatia would flop, but no such luck. Shame them and Switzerland stole a spot from someone worthier.

Käärijä better work on his vocals because I need him to take that Swedish frau out on Saturday. This isn't funny anymore.

The Swedish song sounds like every other bombastic anthem performed over the years-nothing distinctive about it at all. Loreen is a great performer, though.

R159 Fuck you, Croatia rules

The crowds baying for Norway at the end there... I sometimes imagine what the Vikings of old would make of this campy spectacle.

Cackling at the Maltese delegation leaping to their feet when Moldova was called. Yikes!

I'm still traumatised by the Irish camel toe

Yeah, that was a horrible sight. And he's already bitched about Ireland "not even being given a chance" in a since deleted Insta post. He's just a clueless little shit who has been failing upwards his whole career, such as it is.

Alessandra made it. Her grandparents from Porsgrunn are proud. We all are.

R162 They love fucking with us. It's not the first time we have been called last in the semifinal. It has happened several times before.

I do have a suspicion of what the Vikings would make of this Danish twink descendant of theirs cosplaying as a Korean 12-year-old who came dressed as bacon/labia. Something tells me they would not approve of his life choices.

In related homo news, Belgium did surprisingly well at rehearsals yesterday, their eldergay might actually qualify.

ŠČ rules

The Danish Boy looked like a trans man and the Romanian dude looked like a trans woman.

Cyprus Colt Man was vaguely memorable.

The Britney tribute act from Poland was the most memorable.

I didn't know Luke Evans was British? Nice of him to take some time off from his throuple to film that segment in normie attire.

Romanian guy and the Greek jailbait twink were embarrassing.

I'm gonna rewatch the San Marino guy writhing on the floor so many times, that man is pure sex.

So many Gen Z theys performing this year.

Would we expect anything less from this annual freak show.

I only know of old people who call ESC a freak show. Go to bed, gramps.

Yes R173, it's a lot of people calling it a freak show. Go dye your hair purple and shove a ring through your septum.

That drag performance was sooooooo cringe.

r174 You are neither needed nor wanted here. Go yell at the clouds in some other thread.

I never read these threads but OP's pic is a tranny, right?

Dear lord, do you people have any speed other than tRanNiEs bAd?

[quote]I never read these threads

Let's keep it that way.

Georgia robbed blind in broad daylight, Atlanta 2024 is not an option anymore. I'm afraid they might withdraw after their non-qualifying streak.

Poland's nepo baby should get fucked, she stole a spot from someone worthier. Same for that Cypriot queerbaiter, oh I cannot stand him.

R178 you still haven't answered the question. That can't be a female.

Belgium is the only choice unless there is a surprise from one if the Big 5. Many doll songs this year.

Dull not doll. ^

Belgium qualifying might be the shock of the season, it was constantly low in the odds. Just goes to show what great staging can do for a mediocre/dated song.

But my god, is Belgian fashion awful or what? His pants were deplorable.

[quote]Many doll songs this year.

dollsong thread

[quote]you still haven't answered the question. That can't be a female.

Loreen may not be a lady, but she's all woman

Croatia for the win.

Fuck Putin, the mali, podli psichopat.

[quote]you still haven't answered the question.

Thoughts and prayers, hopefully you'll be able to make it through the night.

I can't believe people watch this.

R187, the audience for that shit is predominantly theys, faggy bottoms, queers, fag hags and non-binaries.

Some sad cunts in this thread.

Eurovision is what it is.

I'd be happy to see Austria win but it's all about dreamy, handsome, beautiful Marco for me this year.

Oh he's handsome. The outfit is a miss but comes with the venue.

That version's probably geoblocked. Here's a clip from the audience.

His vocals are insane, but my issue is that his staging makes zero sense for the song, plus he just stands there like a pensioner. I'm not saying he should jump around, but I would appreciate slightly more energy from him.

I like looking at him but I don't like listening to him.

It must be difficult for him to keep his neck in decent shape. That is one heavy beard and neck stubble.

Yeah, the neck stubble jumped out to me as well. It's probably freshly shaven, but still grew out by the time he took to the stage. It would kill me if I had to deal with that shit every day.

If the link is geoblocked, try find a version that isn't and watch it right to the end. That bit when he pops his lovely tongue out and does that little jump just makes me swoon.

Its nice to hear romantic sung Italian.

Out of the Big 5, he got probably the best spot in the final. Croatia got a ridiculously good spot as well, which makes me think they killed it in the televote. Eugh, that tractor song is gonna be the death of me.

Luxembourg is returning to the contest next year, holy shit! They last took part in 1993.

[quote]Luxembourg is returning to the contest next year

Will they dig up Vicky Leandros?

Our neighbours Denmark and Iceland didn't make it. That's sad.

I'm sad for Iceland, but Denmark was asking for it, that boy was off from the second note and never recovered. He's singing in the register he's not comfortable in, all because his record label is forcing him into that infantile Korean kabuki act.

Meanwhile, Slovenia, Serbia, and Croatia will be together in the final for the first time since the introduction of the semifinals.

I was blown away by Albania and Portugal.

Two legendary Italian homos, both performing tomorrow. However, I regret to inform you that Mahmood will be singing Imagine. 😬

r203 Portugal was amazing, I agree. Though I suspect she barely scraped by because she got the dreaded second spot in the final.

Albania is Albania. They tried sending something slightly different last year and they got punished for it. So unfortunately I think they're stuck with a certain image that Europe and Australia expect of them. That image being ethnic wailing.

Who knew we had a eurovision troll.

The tranny-obsessed bitch who is too dim to be able to find the thread ignore function is back for seconds after having his ass handed to him earlier in the thread. They never learn, do they?

r92 I really like Norways song but I was disappointed that Icelands song didn't make it to the final. I thought it was exceptional. I live in Liverpool and the world is on my doorstep, specifically the gay world and it feels like heaven! Can't wait to go to a Eurovision party in a gay venue tommorrow! The gay scene has been packed all week with all the venues running a Eurovision week. The buzz and atmosphere here is electric.

r201 Denmarks song was so eurovision I was genuinely surprised it didn't make it through. Loved his outfit too.

r208 Oooh, I'm so jealous! Months ago, I was bitching about Liverpool being chosen as host because there are larger venues out there and I just want as many people partying at a post-pandemic ESC as possible because this really is the gay Olympics in Europe. But they've done such a marvellous job hosting, I've totally come around on that. The stage is probably my favourite ESC stage ever, the lighting design alone is glorious and like something from the future. And of course there's Hannah, instantly the best host ESC ever.

On the local front, have you seen the Handsome Stairs Man? He looked so dreamy on camera and then he opened his mouth and the most fantastic accent ever came out. I'm in love!

r190 r191 The Italian singer is very handsome but I think the guy singing for Cyprus is the series of them all.

I also think Cyprus has more than a decent shot at winning.

Denmark's song does sound like a Eurovision song in the studio version, but he simply cannot deliver live for shit.

The Cyprus singer is obviously hot to death (and honey does he know it), but I really don't care for the way he went from the super gay performance at last year's Australia Decides to the super aggressive straight music video for his Eurovision song this year. I just don't like queerbaiters. Plus, he's relying on the backing track so much, people are already referring to him as the ventriloquist act of the season.

r210 There are lots of swxy men in and from Liverpool but I am enjoying having gay men from all over the world enjoying masse in my city this week! I am hoping I get squashed up against some hottest at the Eurovision party in the city centre tommorrow! A suave wealthy gay Italian businessman who has travelled to see Eurovision, a sexy Swedish backing dancer, a Cypriot sexgod in black leather, a French charmer ooh the possibilities are endless.!!!

Did you see the interview today were the boss of Eurovision has said he is so impressed with how Liverpool has hosted this week he'd like them to host every year!! Of course never going to happen but a huge compliment!!

r210 Sorry yes that politician is very sexy I would like to eat him slowly!!

r211 Awe I was hoping he was actually gay?? No?

Martin Österdahl Daddy Vibes

r215 I thought so as well, he pinged to me to high heaven at Australia Decides last year, but I get zero gay vibes from his interviews. He's just really good at appealing to various market segments, I guess.

r216 Yeah, totally. He's our own little Henry Cavill from Wish.

r216 He's definitely worth a shag!

On the gay scene in Liverpool I think you which eurovision entry has been played a lot in the pubs and clubs and definitely a favourite-Belgiums catchy entry . It's popularity no doubt boosted by him appearing at Merseysides Pride award ceremony a couple of months ago. I think Belgium will do well this year.

I think it will be played on the scene here for years to come.

r217 Awe never mind! I also wondered if the Finnish and Danish guy were gay too but can't find much online.

On a more serious note the Netherlands entry was a bad misfire. I loved the countrys winning song only teardrops from about 2012 and I really want them to resdiscover their eurovision passion and zest and put forward a real contender next year.

It's crazy how well Gustaph has done, it was basically a foregone conclusion that he wouldn't qualify right up until the night of the performance itself. Just goes to show, if you build a party, they will come!

The Dutch know it was a misfire, they're direct people and have been giving shit to everyone involved with the selection ever since the duo flopped at their pre-party. It's honestly too much, they should chill, they have a good track record.

The Danish guy is obviously gay and I believe Käärijä has a girlfriend.

r220 I wasn't sure about Kaarja so thanks for that. Did you think like the Dutch, former winners Ireland deserved to be eliminated this year? I'm undecided as I didn't think it was that bad. It wasn't going to win it for them but it didn't sound awful to me. I would like Ireland to rediscover its Eurovision passion and magic for it again. What do you think of the UK entry and its chances of scoring well?

Yes, I think Ireland had a horrible entry that deserved to flop. Like the UK before Sam Ryder, they're stuck in this generic empowerment anthem sound that seems like it was written by A.I. Unfortunately, the whole selection process in Ireland is underfunded because of the bad results, and they continue to get bad results because the process is underfunded. It's a vicious cycle at this point and I don't know if they'll be able to break it.

I think the UK entry is fine... but there are so many things off with her live vocals, I really fear for another nul points situation tomorrow. I hope it doesn't happen, I don't want to see the host country get embarrassed like that. And it's been so refreshing seeing the Brits be excited about Eurovision again as well, I don't want Sam Ryder to be perceived as a fluke.

r22 Oh right I hadn't appreciated there was a funding issue with Ireland. I hate to thing Ireland will never be a serious Eurovision contender again so I hope someone with influence sees sense and grasps the nettle. Some brits have been predicting Mae will win, I'd love that but I highly doubt it. But nul points must be avoided at all costs!! I too welcome the reinvigoration of Eurovision in both the UK media world and the public more generally. It wasn't that long ago voices were being raised speculating if we should not bother and pull out but that feels inconceivable now. If anything Eurovision is becoming a bigger phenomenon more widely and not just the UK. What do you reckon are the chances the bookies are wrong and we have a surprise winner like Armenia or Cyprus tommorrow?

[quote]On a more serious note the Netherlands' entry was a bad misfire. I loved the country's winning song Only Teardrops from about 2012

Only Teardrops was the Danish entry that year, not Dutch. The Netherlands won with Arcade by Duncan Laurence a couple of years ago. I think he will perform at the grand final tomorrow

r223 Almost no chance of a surprise winner at this point, I don't think. This is now a battle royal between two neighbours, Sweden and Finland. It's not terribly exciting, but that's just how it goes sometimes. It's just a matter of how the juries score Finland -- if they show him some grace, he might win.

I don't think Finland has a chance.

I think Sweden will win quite easily because it's the only song that probably do well with juries and televote (maybe Italy too, that kind of song always do well and Marco is a very good performer, a simple performance always do well when its surrounded but lights and glitter).

I think Sweden, Spain and France will do well with juries and Sweden, Finland and Norway will do well on televote (i think Italy will do well with both)

Croatia might kill it in the televote as well.

I'm gonna be so sad if Sweden wins. She looks like a Dune villain with those gross talons and the ratty hair, like the Final Boss in a video game. And the song just doesn't spark joy like some others do, it's all pulleys and winches carefully designed in a lab to trigger the same brain responses as Euphoria. Eugh.

r224 Of course -My mistake sorry. The points I was making about the Netherlands wrongly are very applicable to Denmark who I feel could be punching much higher in Eurovision. r225 Thanks I'm surprised you didn't mention a third battle of the neighbours-Norway. They seem to be getting a lot of buzz and attention in the media and online.

But Croatia will flop very hard with juries. It's like Moldova last year, a funny song in the middle of ballad will always do well with televote, but there's not chance that song will receive jury votes

I'm just racking my brain trying to think which previous winner was a big surprise to me and what year. I think it might have been the year Portugal won and I think the song was a response to him suffering a personal bereavement or serious illness but I might be getting confused!

Norway kinda flamed out, I have a feeling they didn't do that well in their semi at all and might have squeaked through. We'll see when the results come out on Sunday.

r229 Yes, I only mentioned the televote because you were listing the countries that'll do well in that regard. Obviously Croatia will get nothing from the juries, they have Moldova 2022 written all over them.

Only on DL would there be 'serious' commentary about the quality of songwriting in a shitshow like the Eurovision.

R230 Portugal was the big favourite before the final. The previous favourite was Italy, but at the time of the final it was between Portugal and Bulgaria.

I know eurofans hate Amar pelos dois, but it's one of the best songs that even won Eurovision and the casual viewers loved it.

I think the weirdest recent winner was Azerbaijan 2011 but it was a favourite too.

But in the early 2000 Latvia was with a pretty shitty song (but great staging) and it was not one of the favourites that year. Belgium in 2003 was on the verge of winning when it was one of the last in the odds

R232 The show is a crapfest (and always was) but every year there are a bunch of good songs (this year is particularly bad).

To be honest, the radio songs here are not better (i'm waiting for this reaggeton and trap era fade away)

Austria's song is a nice catchy disco tune, perfect for gay clubs . . . if there still were any real gay clubs, that is. :-(

*keeps dreaming of pouding some hot guys ass to the Poe Poe Poe Poe-Poe Poe Poe Poe beat*

*POUNDING, ffs

See, I really can't focus on correct writing when dreaming of POUNDING some hot guy's ass to that Poe Poe Poe Poe-Poe Poe Poe Poe beat!

Expect Austria to get LOTS of votes from Serbia. The dark-haired chick is of Serbian origin.

r232 just cannot help himself but come back over and over again to talk some more trash about something he apparently doesn't give one shit about. Definitely my least favourite aspect of DL.

And no, there's serious commentary about Eurovision all over Reddit and Twitter as well. You're just a crusty old queen set in your boring ways.

Eurovision can be very funny if you don't take it too seriously

There's a world of difference between serious technical commentary (about song quality, staging, vocals etc.) and taking the whole thing too seriously. It's a fun contest that's about coming together first and foremost, no performer should be feeling like a loser afterwards regardless of the end result.

We're just being cunts to each other on a cunty site, it's fine. I have fondness in my heart even for the more difficult DL users.

Well, i was not talking about DL i was talking about eurofans. Some are really toxic.

Chanel was crushed last year on Spain because she was not the fan favourite and she won with the juries votes. She had to quit twitter and was harassed for days. European fand didn't understood a thing because they really liked her from the beginning. And that's only one example

160m worldwide are expected to watch. I wonder how much it has grown in 20 years?

r241 Yeah, that was horrible, the K-pop fan culture has started to seep into ESC fandom in recent years. Trash talking is one thing, but once you're badgering a performer on the socials, it's definitely time to log off and touch some grass.

I don't enjoy Poland's nepo baby this year and will call her all sorts of names behind her back, but that's also where it stops for me.

r242 I do know it was 161 million last year, a drop of 22 million from the year before. Cutting off Russia has its consequences.

I think it's been gradually decreasing, but online engagement is soaring every year. Which is great because it's crucial for the younger generations to feel an attachment to the contest. For a short while there, it seemed like an old people's thing that was on its way to irrelevance.

r244 Hopefully when things are better Russia will rejoin. There is now a rest of the world vote block being introduced which may encourage more viewers in other countries to tune in and swell the viewing figures.

Less than 3 hours to go!! About to head out soon before the pub the Eurovision party I'm going to gets too packed!

r246 Nice, enjoy yourself!

r247 Thank You X

*bump*

they just started....

Kate and ALW in the opening number

First song

Mengoni with the rainbow flag, eat shit Meloni.

Swiss twink has good deep voice

No one good yet

Poland with the garish staging that could rival Croatia's.

Cypros has sent hot handsome guy who is not hiding his big arms.

Song sux but he’s hot

Song is shit and the backing track was outrageously loud. Should've performed in a jockstrap.

Swedes got a meth addict

Muting Sweden, I just can't with her right now. Made in a lab, I hate everything about it.

That song is a Ray of Light castoff

This Fremen-looking motherfucker, she's gonna win this, isn't she?

Loreen has a voice for much better

Speaking of Dune, here's Albania with the ethnic wailing that would fit right in with the movie's soundtrack.

Loreen sounded fantastic

I love how the Albanian parents are singing to their daughter "get that D"

Here's Marco in leather with a golden chain, but without the manly presence to pull off the look.

Song is much better in the studio version, the Eurovision cut elevates far too quickly.

Italian guy is sensual and has traditional bedroom eyes

Love the black mother-of-the-groom dress on the Albanian mama - with matching hair

Marco's performance was impeccable, but what in the actual fuck was that staging? At times, those two guys were just standing still, holding hands, and looking at each other. Was it a homosexual message of sorts?

Estonia with a flawlessly delivered song, but lacking any kind of soul. My Top 5, but even I don't believe a word she says.

Also, she for sure just triggered a couple of QAnoners with that hand gesture.

Estonia has been fingered more times than that piano

Fuckin Finns!

So the Finnish entry is a parody, right?

Käärijä and Cha Cha Cha silly stupid funny. So proud.

[quote]Käärijä and Cha Cha Cha silly stupid funny. So proud.

Just awful. Truly awful.

r274 No, it's not a parody, it's just a thoroughly joyous song, a celebration of partying.

Meanwhile the Czechs are synchronizing periods

r276 You have zero taste. Or at least zero sense of whimsy, I don't know which one is worse.

[quote]Marco's performance was impeccable, but what in the actual fuck was that staging?

Marco needed no gimmicks. He just needed to get out there and sing with the camera trained on his handsome face. The staging was an unfortunate distraction.

Australia just killing it.

[quote] Was it a homosexual message of sorts?

The song is called Due Vita /Two lives. He's been asked a few times what he means. Italian speakers will be able to confirm he's not using gendered pronouns in the song?

Down under won’t win. But that was great.

I don't get the hype over Finland. At all

r282 I know about the song, I was asking about the staging. The two guys were just stood still for most of it, looking at each other.

I have a feeling Belgian singer knows DL well

Gustaph is an eldergay who's super into hats and caps because he can't deal with his receding hairline just yet. So relatable, amirite?

It will always be my opjnion that Australia has no fucking business being in this competition in the first place but damn, that was brilliant.

I think I’m still voting for Swiitzerland. The song and the performer were very moving.

I love Gustaf

Wow... ok, his look is ridiculous but Belgium is pretty fantastic. The melody is sort of a Boy George rip-off but he's so good.

Assume Paul McCartney shows up?

Churn that butter bitch.

Can’t stand these bitches dancing soft porn solos

The part in Armenian is so fucking good.

Pasha coming through with the abs. I spy a slight indentation as well, he obviously starved himself today, good boy.

No ab has been spotted in the filming of the show

Handsome Ukrainian boys with a killer staging, but only so-so vocals.

I've had Norway's song stuck in my head for days, I love it but not too many others seem to feel the same way.

r299 Yeah, Norway's hook is one of those that don't leave you alone, I had it in my head for weeks, possibly longer than any other song.

Please throw some points Germany's way, no way can they get zero points again after that.

Nothing screams true metal like appearing on Eurovision

That first čiūto tūto just landed like a damn nuke. So good.

Why did Lithuania send Ivanka Trump?

It was nice to hear some Lithuanian, if even just two words of it. It is the oldest surviving Indo-European language, btw.

jews had to be in , of course

Underperformed: Sweden, Finland, Austria

As expected: Spain, Ukraine, Belgium, Israel

Overperformed: France, Italy, Norway

Voting should be interesting.

Liverpool has been very hostile to Jews in recent years (blame the Catholics) so good to see Rachel Barry get a good response.

I think it's one of worst years i remember (well, early 2000 were terrible).

Italy is the one for me

Israel … that’s how you win a 6 day war

Oh and battle of the bands: 1 Australia, 2 Slovenia, 3 the Albanian family, 4 Germany

Croatian Village People up next

what a shit

This is beyond awful and probably slay on televote

That was beyond brilliant and will slay on televote.

I thought it would difficult for anyone to be worse than Finland... but Croatia has done it.

Mae's vocals quite improved tonight but my god the backing track is so loud.

I heard a song…and it sucked

Possibly my favourite Eurovision year ever, I don't dislike any song except Sweden, Poland, and Cyprus.

Go Belgium!!!

Pasha can legit fist me six ways from Sunday.

This Sam Ryder bit with disabled folk is super wholesome.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear, Mahmood does NOT have the right voice for Imagine. This is such a trainwreck, someone please save him!

Cornelia, actual queen of Sweden, here to class up the joint. Ironically made up like a crackhead.

And now an old crackhead, Sonia.

Sonia got the hottest homo dancers for her rainbow song, did not see that coming.

I see Duncan got some chest tats in L.A. He fucked the Dutch over royally this year, but he's singing the shit out of this song.

That Sonia person is scary.

Putin being a petty cunt, as always.

[quote]Russia attacked the Ukrainian city of Ternopil as the country's Eurovision act - who hail from the city - were about to perform, reports say

Eurovision needed a little Rodgers and Hammerstein.

[quote] I see Duncan got some chest tats in L.A.

It’s also rumored in Dutch media he picked up a meth addiction and thus the fucked up coaching. Look at his dead eyes and sunken cheeks.

[quote]Sonia got the hottest homo dancers for her rainbow song, did not see that coming.

Jake Leigh has been performing all night as a dancer. He's one of the dancers/choreographers on Strictly and was on with Our Son.

r331 Yeah, wouldn't surprise me at all. It's hard to avoid -- and resist -- those meth orgies over in L.A. Especially if you're a newbie and not really used to that sort of thing. His Yank boyfriend always came across like a total whore to me.

r332 He was the least hot of the bunch, lol.

Watching the BBC and their embarrassingly over the ttop self-congratulatiry gushing remind me of the way they went nuts over their hugely overrated opening and closing Olympic ceremonies in 2012. Such an inferiority complex them Brits got.

r335 It's kinda warranted in this instance, they really have done a spectacular job.

Yeah, I think I'm tuning out of the jury segment, all signs point to Sweden winning this, possibly handily. Fuck.

Runaway 🇸🇪

R335 - the opening ceremony of the olympics was incredible. I was expecting it to be terrible but it really wasn’t. The closing ceremony was awful. I’ll give you that. A fantastic job tonight IMO. I expected a bit more of a Ukrainian focus though.

Sweden are walking this one. My Swedish family are going nuts 😂

I cannot believe that Loreen's incredibly mediocre rehash of the rather conventional Euphoria, is going to win. The song isn't even catchy and she is constantly out of tune while singing live.

The only songs I have liked are Norway's Queen of Kings, Portugal's Ai, Coração and Poland's Ariana Grande-esque Solo and Cyprus' Break a Broken Heart. Everything else has been quite uninspired, to be honest.

Can't believe they're rewarding someone who's already won once instead of spreading the love around. As much as it pains me, I'm going to ignore the 2024 Eurovision completely, I just can't with the smug Swedes anymore.

R335 is a bitter old hag

COME ON RACHEL BARRY!

Actually, R335 is right. The British always overinflate everything they do, even though most of what they've done since the 1980s is rather unremarkable. They still cannot accept that they have been a second rate power since 1918 and the only things that have propped them up are kissing up to the US and the massive money-laundering machine that is The City in London. Everything else in the UK is in full decline.

Kylie should be giving the Australian points.

Sweden winning feels like November 2016 all over again. I genuinely feel like puking right now.

Loreen's looking really haggard.

[quote]the opening ceremony of the olympics was incredible.

I totally agree, they were fabulous.

Yawn

Rigged voting

And as we all knew, Loreen has won. At least her song was better than Käärijä's hideous perpetration, but she definitely didn't deserve it - if I had to choose a winner from the gimmicky songs that have been so common this year, it would have been the catchy but utterly stupid Who The Hell Is Edgar? from Austria, due to sheer pop appeal. Still, Norway's is indubitably the best song and they deserved to win.

Well done to Rachel Barry, third place.

R339 more ukraina? You expected history of UPa or Stepan Bandera?

[quote]Norway's is indubitably the best song and they deserved to win.

Thank you! I am so disgruntled.

What the fuck was this?

“ Such an inferiority complex them Brits got.”

Lol

Top 5 is amazing! I'm very happy and proud. It's our best result in like 10 years. Yay!

[Quote]The only songs I have liked are Norway's Queen of Kings, Portugal's Ai, Coração and Poland's Ariana Grande-esque Solo and Cyprus' Break a Broken Heart. Everything else has been quite uninspired, to be honest.

Thanks, R340.

R354 Same. I'm Norwegian. Alessandra should have won.

Fun fact. Hannah Waddingham is the Shaming Bell lady on GOT.

Hannah and Graham seemed irked with the crowd chanting Cha, Cha, Cha for their favourite Finland during the placement announcements.

Sweden’s song hit all the Eurovision bells and whistles, but I’m not keen on the two time thing, and Loreen loses any of her appeal in the interviews where she seems spaced out. They really wanted the contest to be in Sweden for the 50th anniversary of ABBA’s win. The jury had a heavy hand in this one.

The jury locked it for Sweden from the beginning and it feels...rigged.

Finland won the audience vote by a landslide, yet got multiple zeros from the juries.

I think Mae (UK) would have done better if she wasn’t so uncoordinated. Her song was okay, but paired with an unflattering jumpsuit, she looked like a sack of potatoes moving around on stage. She has a big team behind her, I’m surprised they weren’t better at developing a routine that hid her lack of dance skills. Especially with Israel doing hard core floor moves and a backflip.

UK’s act this year just instantly faded into oblivion despite her prime spot ending the show. They are really unabashedly desperate to try to make Sam Ryder a thing from his second place finish last year. I have a feeling he’s going to become the ‘Tim Henman’ of Eurovision for the UK…unless someone else actually wins for the UK, and Sam will promptly be forgotten.

Sam Ryder seems like an extremely nice guy but his talent is mediocre.

Norway’s song sounded like incidental music for a film where the two leads are in a montage searching for a missing map.

Yeah, this was all about the ABBA connection. I appreciate ABBA but this is ridiculous.

All the female performers looked like total whores. The type you'd see in a window in Amsterdam, trafficked in from some shithole Eastern European city.

Israel went the whole Ariana Grande. Still, there's a pole dancing club in every cit, so these 'ladies' will always find work somewhere.

And as for the plethora of faggy 'male' backing dancers.

R364; "They are really unabashedly desperate to try to make Sam Ryder a thing from his second place finish last year".

Correction. He would have won, and was the REAL winner, only that the public sympathy vote carried Ukraine across the finish line.

[quote] the catchy but utterly stupid Who The Hell Is Edgar? from Austria

R351 actually the lyrics aren't stupid at all. For example that Zero Dot Zero Zero Three bit relates to artist getting fucking 0.003 cents for each stream on Spotify, resulting in less known artists hardly being able to make ends meet (see the subsequent "I'll invite to dinner in about two years from now" part) (or something like that).

Basically it's a FUCK YOU PUTIN song R355.

Hannah Waddingham played the Witch in the Regents Park Open Air Theatre production of Into The Woods.

Well, that doesn't make it any less awful R370. If they wanted to criticize Putin, they could have come up with something original and fun, as opposed to a grotesque cacophony that doesn't make sense and isn't even funny.

So did the tranny in OP's pic win?

It "doesn't make sense" to you because you're probably some dumb illiterate American who can't read between the lines, R372.

r365 I think Norway would have been a very worthy winner. It got lots of cheers and claps at the Eurovision party I was at in Liverpool last night as did Finland and Belgium. Sweden got a lot of support too but Finland seemed to edge it popularity wise with the crowd.

I can't help but think Mae would have got a better placing if she hadn't been fucking terrible.

He sings and lawyers!

In terms of UK television viewing figures it as the most watched Eurovision ever.

It will be interesting to see the global figures.

This was definitely the last year I followed Eurovision. Between last year's victory for Ukraine and this year's undeserved win for the Swedish toaster tranny (thanks to the corrupt juries) the whole thing just left a really bad aftertaste in my mouth. Throw in the new prerecorded vocals rule and you're left with a super dodgy contest.

At least this means I'll be spared from having to watch that attention whore Mans Zelmerlov next year (you just now he'll be the host).

r379 Nrw prerecorded vocal rules?

Every year my friend forces this whole competition on me, he lives in the UK. I swear all of the songs this year were just awful compared to last year's stuff. I find the videos often unintentionally hilarious.

Looking at the public vote stats

Israel won the rest of the world vote

The Finnish public gave 5 points to Germany, but were the only country not to give any points to Sweden

Sweden didn't top any of the public votes

The biggest gap between public and jury was Spain who came 9th on jury vote and last on public vote with only Portugal and the rest of the world giving them points

r382 Who would you like to have won?

Lots of post eurovision blues in Liverpool. We LOVED being the host city.

Well, it's nice that Liverpool has something since Brookside was axed.

r385 Apparently an increasing number of Hollywood films are due to be filmed here too!

Angel, how much foreign dick did you get during Eurovision?

Liverpool has the most attractive elected politician in the UK.

A shame Liverpool is the most corrupt area in Britain. Councillor Cashman has nothing to do with that though.

r387 At last someone has asked me the most important question!!😁😉

An Irish hug , erotic dance of a Czech and brief Norwegian kiss but no dick!!

There were some very sexy Azerbaijanis there but alas already nabbed before I got a chance and some very oversexed French guys being outrageous tarts during the party! Rather liberal with their affections and big in appetite shall we say from what I observe! I will say though that the Eurovision tourists from overseas were a very good crowd of people. No bad manners or brawling or arguing etc as far as I could see. Dream customers from the bar staffs point of view .Much better than some of the Brits who travelled to Liverpool from other areas.

Sweden apparently has won this competition the most.

r390 I thought it was Ireland who has had the most eurovision wins?

I think it's a tie and Sweden & Ireland have both won 7 times

r392 Thank you.

I just found out Luke Black turned 31 years old! i thought the serbian dude was a late teen/early twenties...

"Sweden apparently has won this competition the most"

Google is your friend.

Until this recent win by Sweden, the Irish held the lead with 7 wins. Now it's tied.

[R394] Peppa Pig came to Luke's birthday party!

Google ain't my friend, chocolate cake is.

Lengthy video of Eurovision performers who have died. One of them was named Huug Kok.