The Pope may be Dying

He looks awful

I'm sure they'll choose a new next pope who will continue the Church's journey toward the enlightenment of the 13th century.

I just hope she doesn't forget the lube.

Frankie’s such a nasty queen.

All the popes look like emperor from Star Wars

Looks pretty good for 86! Had no idea he is that age.

Did you really think you'd be the first to post a thread on this, OP?

Sad last days indeed. For whatever his faults, he was a breath of fresh compared to the old Nazi before him.

It will be interesting to see if they elect another progressive popes (as popes go) or fall back on one of the old hard liners to appease the American MAGA cunts.

For God's sake, just die already.

Beyoncé, as recompense for not yet winning the Grammy for Album of the Yea.

Don't let him die - we won't get a moment's peace if he does.😒

No Habemus Papum!

The next Pope should be Idris Elba.

Isn’t there a prophecy that he’s supposed to be the last pope? I remember when Pope John Paul 1 died there were supposedly only 4 more Popes.

Too many old popes. I hope the next one is Gen X or an older Millennial.

Bitch needs to postpone until May 7. My bloody turn!!! MINE! MINE!

Bye bye hon ...

Everyone dies

Didn’t he just die? They have a new one already and now he’s dying?

Maybe Prince Harry could be Pope? He cares about self-actualization and equity and pilates.

BTW, what's the Pope's wife called? Asking for a friend.

The Pope is too old to meet people in person, too risky for his health

I loe when a Pope dies. The aftermath of speculation and the suspense of the election is great fun.

Plus, the shitty embalming combined with protracted casket dancing makes for must see HD.

Coming up next: The first trans pope!

The Pope is Pooped.

[quote]Maybe Prince Harry could be Pope? He cares about self-actualization and equity and pilates.

Pilates? That poor chap can't even master the pull-outies.

We are all dying, OP. Media vita in morte sumus

The next 3: Jimmy Carter, the Pope, and Mitch McConnell.

I want a Pope Tyrone just because!

Bummer.

While some are here longer than others, the fact remains we are all on this earth only temporarily. We certainly hope that the Holy Father with be with us for a few more years but it is all up to the Lord.

Can I have his stuff?

He never claimed most of his Pope Prizes, R32 - feel free to squat in the Papal Apartments forthwith!

Viola Davis will be the next Pope.

The new pope.

Viola Davis will NOT be the next Pope and she will tell you why that is another wrong.

Gray is not a healthy skin tone

All male Catholics are eligible in principle to be called to the Papacy. That’s biological male. That means Greg could be the next pope.

Considering the level of anti-black racism that obtains in Italian culture, along with the fact that the Roman Catholic Church is, ESSENTIALLY, an Italian institution, and I'd hazard a guess that we are very much not likely to see a black Pope anytime soon, despite the fact that that is currently the leading choice here on DL (LOL). Call me old-fashioned, but there it is.

He only has 1 lung.

Last fall I read he really wanted to hold on through November. He had picked a group of Bishops from around the world, that was more on the liberal side of things. The conservative Cardinals were not happy. But he/they made it. And the Nazi former Pope passed away. I think that the more liberal side of things now has enough votes to determine the new Pope. We shall see.

I know when I say the liberal side it's still not where most of us want to see. But at least they aren't going backward like our country seems to be.

[quote] It will be interesting to see if they elect another progressive popes (as popes go) or fall back on one of the old hard liners to appease the American MAGA cunts.

The U.S. accounts for a fraction of the world's Catholics and most MAGAts are protestants.

[quote] Considering the level of anti-black racism that obtains in Italian culture, along with the fact that the Roman Catholic Church is, ESSENTIALLY, an Italian institution, and I'd hazard a guess that we are very much not likely to see a black Pope anytime soon, despite the fact that that is currently the leading choice here on DL (LOL). Call me old-fashioned, but there it is.

Is the Vatican representative of "Italian" culture. In recent years, there have been few Italian popes. I would guess that the most fervent believers in Catholicism are in developing countries. I could see a Black Pope in my lifetime, especially since they only pick really old guys who get about 7-8 years each.

On the news they said he recently had part of his colon removed but he has obviously gained weight and looks bloated. Typically, a colon resection results in the patient losing weight.

Why do they keep choosing non-Italians? The Vatican went woke before everyone else.

Actually R43, Pope Francis is Italian.

He was born and raised in Argentina, but he is ethnically Italian.

Have been Blessed by three Popes. Francis was the only one who I thought might actually help. Safe journey Jorge.

Bye, bitch.

[quote] All male Catholics are eligible in principle to be called to the Papacy. That’s biological male. That means Greg could be the next pope.

And don’t think I’m not ready. My name has been on the slate of papabile for the past two conclaves.

But you know there is a saying among Vaticanologists:

"He who enters the conclave as pope, leaves it as a cardinal."

Either way, I’m a winner.

Is there a liberal cardinal you're rooting for, R47/Greg?

Good question. No, not really. I’d have to think more about it.

I do not want an African named pope.

That’s for sure.

No African Pope. FFS the biggest most violent homophobes on the planet are muzzies and sub-Saharan Africans.

Word out of the Vatican is that Francis is improving which I hope is the case. A great Pope.

I hope Father Mike Schmitz gets elected Pope ! He's youngish (48), handsome, charming, athletic and sexy. He will attract more gays back to the Catholic Church.

And he has millions of followers with his daily podcasts.

I completely agree with HoMo (R51).

Keep creating cardinals, Francis.

Won't someone think about the pope!

[quote] I hope Father Mike Schmitz gets elected Pope ! He's youngish (48), handsome, charming, athletic and sexy. He will attract more gays back to the Catholic Church.

And I completely disagree with R52.

He's fine, he sends his 11-year-old "ward".

He's too pooped to pope.

Is Vivian Vance an option?

You know the next pope is going to be further right of Benedict as a way to appease the people upset by Francis, right?

Say what you will about Francis, at least he's less strident than Benedict.

How about devoted Vatholic Marky Mark Wahlberg ? Can't he be Pope ?

I predict Father Guido Sarducci will be the next Pope as the current POPE is unpoopular and pops out at parties.

They're ALL evil fucks.

The next Pope will be a white man on position of power.

Don't want to sound unwoke, but African cardinals are the most bogoted among other bigots.

I mean…maybe next time don’t choose a Pope in his 70s?

[quote] I mean…maybe next time don’t choose a Pope in his 70s?

Well, John Paul II was made pope at the age of 58 and he was in office for 26 years. Too long.

Does anyone else feel like this thread title - The Pope May Be Dying - sounds like a number in a musical?

His gowns leave much to be desired.

r67 Oh the stories that circulated about ol' Franny there, what a hoot he was.

r22 It also gives us time to watch one of my favorite films "The Shoes of the Fisherman." Any time Anthony Quinn is in a movie it's always entertaining. And it never gets old seeing Horace Rumpole(the Old Bailey Hack) as an Italian cardinal, jockeying for position.

Does a soon-to-be Pope still have to sit in that special chair while various cardinals inspect his goolies?

R64 Actually, they choose older Popes so that they (purposely) won't be in power for a long time. They don't want another Pope in the seat for 26 years - that's unheard of and unexpected. They want to rotate Popes every ten years or so. They would never pick someone in their 40s or 50s and have them serve 40 - 50 years.

R69, I think that’s what I meant at R65.

John Paul II was 58. Handsome and athletic with a background in theater—so he knew how to make the world love him despite how conservative he truly was.

With each passing pope, the lunatics in the hierachy choose yet another conservative, counterproductive substitute. It's good for the inevitable collapse of this racket in the West... I pity the developing nations. Catholicism is to Africa what the Chinese are. A very sad state of affairs. But at least we shake off the yoke more and more each year.

You may be wrong, R71.

Another old saying:

There’s nothing deader than a dead pope.

I couldn't be less interested in anything you have to say, Greg, especially about that racket, but accept you are like sewage or manure, flowing regularly, without end and tolerated.

People are saying.. It might just be me.

A lot of people are saying that.

[quote] I couldn't be less interested in anything you have to say, Greg, especially about that racket, but accept you are like sewage or manure, flowing regularly, without end and tolerated.

Well thank you, R73.

You have shown yourself to be a person of quality. We appreciate your many contributions to DL.

Fuck off, sinner.

Geez, you'd think the Vatican could sell a couple gold goblets and buy him some porcelain veneers.

Vivian Vance, silly!

divisive evil pile of shit - out with the trash -

We'll know it's over when the Vatican issues a statement that His "doctors are concerned for the Holy Father's health and have recommended He remain under medical supervision. The Pope remains comfortable and in Rome."

R69, no , long papacies are not unheard of. It you go back to the 1800s, Pius IX was Pope for 32 years, followed by Leo XIII for 25 years. That's 57 years with only two Popes. Even in the 20th century there were papacies that lasted for 17, 19 years etc and had Benedict not resigned, he would actually have been Pope for 17 years.

[quote] The Pope remains comfortable and in Rome.

The pope does not reside in Rome.

The pope resides in Vatican City and is sovereign of Vatican State.

John Paul II's reign could have been much shorter if the Blessed Virgin hadn't blocked the assassin's bullet in 1981.

I wonder if he will die during Holy Week

R83 The Pope is resting comfortably at Gemelli Hospital, which is located in Rome, not Vatican City.

R82 You're going back to the 1800s. It's the 21st Century now, and the Catholic Church no longer wants 2 Popes over 57 years. They don't want long-running Popes from the past century, either.

Trump is probably wishing the Pope dies this week to take the attention away from his arrest.

They asked me to consider it. Unfortunately, I'm too busy in Congress.

The Pope will be heading home on Saturday, according to reports. He will take part in Palm Sunday Mass on Sunday. The Pope was being treated for bronchitis.

I should get some palms...byt then I would have to go to church. See? This is how they get you. Free palms and holy water at Easter season.

Free palms? FREE FUCKING PALMS?

That's supposed to be a draw?

R90 as a friend who is a churchgoer to get palms for you if you don't want to go to the church yourself.

R91- Clearly.

R8 What does pope has to do with American MAGAs? How many of them are catholic? You are obsessed with Trump and MAGA

R90 like I have any Catholic friends less lapsed than me...haha!!

The holy water on Easter Sat vigil or Easter Sun is the real shit, though. They used to have a big vat of it available for people to fill their own jars or whatever container. Not sure how they do it since covid.

R95 In that case, call your diocese and say you are homebound and can't get to the church for Palms. Ask them for a young handsome priest to bring them to you at home, and you will make a 'nice donation'. They will help you out.

'Nice donation' can be something personal to the priest.

[quote]The holy water on Easter Sat vigil or Easter Sun is the real shit, though.

No it's not.

Roman: "A Pope will never visit a city where the newspapers are on strike."

Mimmie: "Ohh, I think we're upsetting Rosemary- you looked uncomfortable"

Rosemary: "Well, he is the Pope..."

Roman: "You don't have to believe someone is holy just because they say they are"

^^And then Minnie began delivering the special demon spawn shakes to Rosemary!!

Mimmie or Minnie?

Can you make holy water at home if you can't get to church?

In a pinch you can make your own but better to get the real thing.

You can baptize people at home R102 - so spice up your next party!!

(My grandmother secretly baptized one of my cousins when she was an infant because my aunt had married a divorced Lutheran. Good times!)

It great to see the Holy Father is doing better and will be released from the hospital in time for Holy week commemorations.

Actually, the Junior High is having a boys swim meat. I mean meet.

If Pope Francis dies. It's time for an American pope.

JK that likely won't happen

Glad he is mending. Now he can name more progressive Cardinals!

R102 Only if you have a Priest in your home who could give it the proper blessing.

I was blessed in my pants by a priest when I was 8.

R109 - I remember a priest at my Catholic high school saying any Catholic could baptize a baby; perhaps there are extenuating circumstances, like the baby being close to death, but we all goofed around later in the cafeteria “baptizing” each other with our lunch drinks.

Yep / you need a dying baby (or one whose heathen parents won’t do it - Grandma’s rationale):

“indeed, in a case of necessity, any person who has the requisite intention may do so (canon 861 §2), even a non-Catholic or a non-Christian.[3][4]. By "a case of necessity" is principally meant imminent danger of death because of either illness or an external threat. "The requisite intention" is, at the minimum level, the intention "to do what the Church does" through the rite of baptism.[5]. The Latin Church considers that the effect of the sacrament is not produced by the person who baptizes, but by the Holy Spirit.”

[quote] I remember a priest at my Catholic high school saying any Catholic could baptize a baby; perhaps there are extenuating circumstances, like the baby being close to death, but we all goofed around later in the cafeteria “baptizing” each other with our lunch drinks.

I was grew up in a Catholic family and my dad performed an extenuating circumstances "baptism". My grandmother had a late in life pregnancy in her 40s. My grandfather traveled for his job quite a bit. My dad was 19 at the time and when my grandmother went into labor he drove her to the hospital. My great grandparents met them there. My grandmother delivered a month before her due date and the doctors said that my uncle was sickly and underweight. They didn't think they he was going to live more than a few days. My dad couldn't get ahold of the parish priest and the hospital couldn't get ahold of other priests they knew. The "baptism" took place in a little area near the nursery. My great grandparents acted as god parents while my dad performed the "baptism". My dad admitted that it was a very awkward situation and my great grandparents had to "guide him" through the prayers and baptism sayings.

Ancient shysters. Their services make no difference. What a crock.

Is there an ecclesiastical rule that Cardinals have to be of a certain age?

Just wondering if there's anything that actually prevents a younger pope than these geriatric crypt keepers.

The only thing for sure is the new pope will be a Jesuit

Appointing a Pope who isn't trans is literall violence.

*literal

[quote] Is there an ecclesiastical rule that Cardinals have to be of a certain age?

No, R115.

In 1970 Paul VI directed that cardinals who reach age 75 must submit their resignation to the Holy Father. If their resignation is not accepted by the pope, they still are required to relinquish the right to vote for a pope when they reach age 80.

But you can still fuck children with your crucifix.

I hope we get a fierce Filipino.

Well, Imelda is sadly no longer available. Surely one of her children is available? Doesn't really matter which one, I don't suppose.

Is he dead yet?

[quote] I hope we get a fierce Filipino.

No way. No how.

That would definitely be the end of the Catholic Church.

Popes will always and only ever be white and European.

That is the foundation of the Catholic Church.

If we get an African pope, will he be called Pope Chocula.

[quote]By "a case of necessity" is principally meant imminent danger of death because of either illness or an external threat.

What a lovely religion that would consign a baby to the depths of hell for all eternity merely because his parents didn't get him baptized before he died.

Heartening, innit?

Bonus est! Suam mittit amorem.

Datalounge loves a good Death Watch.

The one for Queen Elizabeth lasted about a year.

Are you ok, r127?

I think your keyboard maybe just broke.

[quote] What a lovely religion that would consign a baby to the depths of hell for all eternity merely because his parents didn't get him baptized before he died.

Good thing the Roman Catholic Church does not believe such a scandalous thing.

You're right, Greg.

Up until as late as 2007, they believed the baby would remain in purgatory. Lovely.

[quote] Up until as late as 2007, they believed the baby would remain in purgatory. Lovely.

False.

From The Catechism of the Catholic Church:

[quote] The idea of Limbo, which the Church has used for many centuries to designate the destiny of infants who die without baptism, has no clear foundation in revelation, even though it has long been used in traditional theological teaching. Moreover, the notion that infants who die without baptism are deprived of the beatific vision, which has for so long been regarded as the common doctrine of the Church, gives rise to numerous pastoral problems, so much so that many pastors of souls have asked for a deeper reflection on the ways of salvation.

[quote] There are theological and liturgical reasons to hope that infants who die without baptism may be saved and brought into eternal happiness.

R132, no one remains in purgatory.

Purgatory is a pause on the way to heaven.

RE: The Pope may be Dying

I suspect the Pope reads DL. When leaving the hospital, he quipped to journalists before being driven away: “I’m still alive.”

The reason he doesn't look well is that he has gained weight. He slimmed down after getting diagnosed with some heart ailments a few years ago, but now he seems to have ballooned. I hope they will put him on a regimen so he can stick around for a while.

[quote] When leaving the hospital, he quipped to journalists before being driven away: “I’m still alive.”

The microphone didn't pick it up, but what he really said was "Godammit, I'm still alive."

[quote] I suspect the Pope reads DL. When leaving the hospital, he quipped to journalists before being driven away: “I’m still alive.”

[quote] The microphone didn't pick it up, but what he really said was "Godammit, I'm still alive."

What he really said was, "I told you I was hardcore."

The irony.

[quote]Popes will always and only ever be white and European.

The CURRENT one is not European.

R140 People forget he's from South America. I did.

Isn't the old one - the Nazi pedophile - still alive?

[quote] Popes will always and only ever be white and European.

[quote] The CURRENT one is not European.

He may not have been born in Europe, but ethnically, his heritage is exclusively European.

I'm sure you knew that, but you're just trying to be an annoying and obnoxious contrarian.

[quote] Pope Francis was born as Jorge Mario Bergoglio on 17 December 1936 in Flores, a neighborhood of Buenos Aires. He was the eldest of five children of Mario José Bergoglio (1908–1959) and Regina María Sívori (1911–1981).

[quote] Mario Bergoglio was an Italian immigrant accountant born in Portacomaro (Province of Asti) in Italy's Piedmont region. Regina Sívori was a housewife born in Buenos Aires to a family of northern Italian (Piedmontese-Genoese) origin.

[quote] Mario José's family left Italy in 1929 to escape the fascist rule of Benito Mussolini.

Well everyone is from somewhere else in the New World unless they are indigenous but you don't hear people born in America saying "I am European!!" This premise doesn't hold water - or holy water.

[quote] Isn't the old one - the Nazi pedophile - still alive?

Grow up.

[Quote]Well everyone is from somewhere else in the New World unless they are indigenous

"Indigenous" peoples are from somewhere else as well.

[Quote]Geneticist and professor of anthropology Jennifer Raff (2022) in the book "A Genetic Chronicle of the First Peoples in the Americas" summarized that the first people in the Americas formed from the merger of a distinct Paleolithic Siberian population (known as Ancient North Eurasians), with a deeply diverged Ancient East Asian group about 36,000 years ago, giving rise to both Paleosiberian peoples and Ancient Native Americans, which later migrated towards the Beringian region, became isolated from other populations, and subsequently populated the Americas.

The Holy Father will continue to serve for as long as the Lord desires for him to do so. Hopefully, it will be for a few more years.

I heard Cardinal Caramel Venti Macchiato is being considered as a successor. He’s from Doppio, Italy.

The poster above probably meant European, as in European DNA or origins. Pope is Latin american, but from an Italian family, he is not mixed race Latino.

Pope Francis with his mother, father, and four other siblings.

Reading through his Wiki Page, I find it fascinating that Francis outlived three of his four younger siblings.

Not only that, but he lived longer than both his parents and all of his siblings, except for his younger sister who is still alive.

His father died at 51, his mother at 70, his brother (??), his sister at 67, another brother at 68.

Francis I is already 86 years old, which means that he far outlived any of the rest of his immediate family.

R119. So they could, in theory, have some sort of hot 30 year old Pope?

Let's make it happen!

Yes, we could, in theory, have a hot 30 year old pope.

But that won't happen.

The youngest someone can be ordained a priest is 25 and it would be unheard of to have a 30 year old Cardinal.

Plus, unless it was someone spectacularly good, would we really want a pope in office for 50+ years?

R153. I'd settle for a hot daddy 40 year old pope.

He can retire once he's aged out of his looks. That's a decent period without overstaying his welcome.

Pope Francis has a very nice looking family. His father looks mean, though.

I remember lazy summers on the beach with Francis. Just shooting the breeze whist eating tuna fish sandwiches.

The Catholic Church is on shaky ground, losing priests, and recruits for the priesthood, and losing Catholic worshippers. So who ever they pick has to appeal to a demographic that will grow the Church. That's why Francis was such a good choice. On the surface here's someone with European roots but also South American. They will look for something similar.

R157, I think you may be right.

If the next Pope is African they are likely also quite conservative. In the US black + conservative will cancel each other out; liberal Catholics will balk at supporting a conservative Pope while MAGA traditionalists will balk at taking orders from a black man.

Yes, R159, that is why we do not want an African to be made pope.

They are way too conservative.

he's so frail for 86. i know someone also 86 who can do squats and walk 5 miles a day

Most people are dead by their 86th birthday.

They shot the Pope They shot his ass It's over now That's what I said

Technically speaking, we're all "dying."

Some a little faster.

Some not fast enough.

He's a pile of pope.

Okay, folks. The pope is going nowhere. He's just fine

Call off the ballots and straw

Some of you might find the above link and also this link interesting.

Ahh, da Pope-ah. He's-ah so NICE-ah.

Down to a cellular level, I absolutely could not care less.

Betcha he ain't.

OP, yes he is dying. So are you. So am I. So are we all.