I am a 41 year-old attorney. I’m 6’4”, weigh about 240 lbs, I go to the gym regularly, my body fat % ranges between 23-26% according to my scale.
I have never had a relationship before. None of the girls I liked in high school were into me.
In my 20s, I lived in LA. I was hopelessly heartbroken over a straight best friend, but I never found anyone to take my mind off of him. I guess I also knew that until I made more money and/or got a better body, I was never going to be good enough for anybody I’d be really interested in.
I didn’t start hooking up with guys more until I was in my mid-thirties, but I’d always get bored quickly, I’d never do anal, I could never come from oral sex, and the guys weren’t interested in seeing me afterwards.
At this point, I have to ask myself — what do I want a relationship for? I know that reality is different from fantasy, but I kind of suppose if I had been interested in anything “real,” I would have found it by now. I guess I’m not interested in anything “real,” only surface and fantasy. But I shouldn’t have had to become a lawyer first before finding a relationship. Even if I found someone I’m really interested in that’s also interested in me, if it took becoming a lawyer first, how will I ever take such a relationship seriously if I was not good enough before becoming a lawyer?
At this point, I’m just jaded. I want my OWN kids, I want an egg donor and surrogate. Let’s be honest, the people I find attractive, I’m not what they want, and anybody who’d be interested in me, they’re not what I want.
But how common is this going to be in the future? Keeping up with appearances, making money, struggling to keep my body in shape, etc? With all this hard work, how does ANYBODY a ever end up together? How do people stay satisfied with each other?
I say, people should save their love for their seed, stop looking for relationships (because relationships with good partners, good catches are for privileged people).