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Let’s Be “Alice” If Mel’s Diner Was Actually A Brothel

Vera would bring in the Johns by shoving a whole box of straws up her hairy pussy while chain smoking.

by Anonymousreply 24March 28, 2023 10:12 AM

You mean it wasn't?

by Anonymousreply 1March 25, 2023 9:07 PM

For $50 bucks you can kiss one of my grits.

by Anonymousreply 2March 25, 2023 9:07 PM

"Kiss my tits!"

by Anonymousreply 3March 25, 2023 9:14 PM

I’m the hooker with the heart of gold. I’m the only one who isn’t inappropriate with Alice’s son Tommy. I tell him, “Nevermind pimpin’ like Mel. Go to Arizona State and BE somebody!”

by Anonymousreply 4March 25, 2023 9:14 PM

R3 Winner

by Anonymousreply 5March 25, 2023 9:14 PM

"Tahwmee, come rub Mama's feet and back...I hadda do a double shift, and I smell like dirty trucker."

by Anonymousreply 6March 25, 2023 9:26 PM

As they say at the phone company, HELL-O!

by Anonymousreply 7March 25, 2023 9:30 PM

I'm Tommy, and I'm making more money than anyone else here.

by Anonymousreply 8March 25, 2023 9:44 PM

Tahmee, I told you to stop using those horse teeth when you're giving a blow job!

If I have to give one more refund, you're going to have to start wearing your mouth guard again!

by Anonymousreply 9March 25, 2023 10:59 PM

Mel's "Coffee" was code for customers who had a taste for dark meat...

by Anonymousreply 10March 27, 2023 4:26 PM

Op and your replies…..

Get it all out of your system.

by Anonymousreply 11March 27, 2023 4:31 PM

Mel's Chili Special?

Well, let's just say Erna would know all about that.

by Anonymousreply 12March 27, 2023 4:37 PM

Jump back!

by Anonymousreply 13March 27, 2023 4:48 PM

Alice, was a tired old Madam, who pretended to be a "fresh freckled face" in the neighborhood.

Nobody bought it.

by Anonymousreply 14March 27, 2023 4:55 PM

Alice made Tahmee put "love beads" all around her section...for privacy...when she was "entertaining" big groups

by Anonymousreply 15March 27, 2023 5:24 PM

There's a new girl in town ...

by Anonymousreply 16March 27, 2023 5:25 PM

Mel became a Fred Garvin he would have sex with men and he was a TOTAL TOP

by Anonymousreply 17March 27, 2023 6:25 PM

Why did the sitcom stray from the movie's portrayal of a divorced woman setting-off on a new life and- hopefully- a new career playing music? It ended-up just being cranky diner humor.

by Anonymousreply 18March 27, 2023 7:00 PM

Do you have some sort of businesswomen's special?

by Anonymousreply 19March 27, 2023 7:51 PM

"Hey, to the old broad who keeps playing the piano and shrieking off key, SHUT UP!"

"I'm trying to have some fun with my gal Vera, and your killing the mood!"

by Anonymousreply 20March 27, 2023 8:37 PM

Scat take on a whole different meaning.

by Anonymousreply 21March 27, 2023 9:25 PM

What about Mel’s mother? With her big mouth, she could probably suck dick and balls all at once.

by Anonymousreply 22March 27, 2023 9:33 PM

You got to move like the waves in the ocean, uh-huh!

by Anonymousreply 23March 27, 2023 9:35 PM

When Flo says "Adam and Eve on a raft"...it means something completely different

If you like scat, ask for Alice.

by Anonymousreply 24March 28, 2023 10:12 AM
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