Have you made any friends since you got 60?

Got 60 friends?

Not quite 60, but already very tired of friends that only show up when they want something, and most of all friends who ghost you with absolutely no warning and no apparent reason.

At this stage of life, I only want companions who are curious about the world. I want friends with wide-ranging interests who can converse about something beyond repeating what John Oliver said last night. If that's not on the menu, then I'm happy with just acquaintances.

And I suspect that that's one of the reasons why people over 60 have trouble making friends. Because a lot of them have had sufficient.

[quote] very tired of friends that only show up when they want something, and most of all friends who ghost you with absolutely no warning and no apparent reason.

Same here. Weirdly it makes me feel better that this is happening to others too. Now I don't have to take it so personally.

R2 at 30, I've had enough of friends, and don't have any either. It's fun and freeing doing things alone.

Dude, I stopped making friends at 30.

Yes at funerals.

Well, I 'got' 60 10 years ago. I have the same 3 true blue friends I've had for many decades. 2 of them date all the way back to 1959. And I have many friendly associations I've had for years with which I have sporadic contact. As far as new ones are concerned, I haven't been in the market for any in the last 10 years. The 3 I have take all the energy I have available.

Oh, I'm such an aspie, I couldn't even make friends in the 1st grade. Forget about 60. I'm 43 and only have a few friends. Most people are assholes and fakes anyway.

R8, how did you feel when you “got” 40?

40 is not that big a deal. You don't feel much older, if you take care of yourself. I'll let you know how I feel once I "get" 50.

Got English?

No new friends. I actually don't like being bothered so don't invite friendship into my life. Other people are annoying.

If one has a dog and goes to the dog park regularly one can make new friends at any age.

R13 me and the people who walk their dogs in the same neighbourhood and green space do not soiree.

Probably because they're UMC elders and I'm a lower-rent interloper at least 30 years younger. But also because it's awkward. And we're British. A nod and a "lovely weather" (sincere or sarcastic, depending on said weather) in passing is all we share.

I got 54 years this year, and I only have 2 friends, 1 being a friend I've had for over 25 years. We've even moved to another city to be near one another once or twice. I count a very close relative as a friend as well (as in I can tell her almost anything), so I guess that's 3. I'm not a very social person, so don't have many opportunities to connect with new people.

I'd like more friends but I've always thought about friends as quality over quantity. It would be nice though to have another and something I'd be open to. But I have a difficult time having non-close friends/acquaintances. Anyone I want to really talk to or spend time with or share things with is someone I would want to have quite a bit in common with.

So, there you go.

As I go through life, I realize most of my friends have been temporary. People I met in school and jobs mostly, sometimes in the same neighborhood. They are transient friends and, once life changes, they fall by the wayside. This isn’t a bad thing, it just took me a while to realize it.

It's funny but I thought I'd be pretty much a non-entity when I turned 60 last year.

My 20s were lousy; horrible rosacea...the threat of AIDS...family and societal rejection...people-pleasing (UGH!!!) ....dealing with childhood trauma (dad died when I was quite young). The 30s and most of the 40s weren't much better. In my 50s, I found surprising success and got out of debt through work...I took care of my elderly mother was much as possible.

It's true that youth is wasted on the young.

I'm an orphan now. Mom didn't make it through COVID. I am phasing out frenemies, and focusing on my health, I've cut out booze and soda and am eating more salads.

I'm hoping the rest of my 60s will be filled with real friends, good health, and surprises.

Yes - on Datalounge. They’re really nice.

You turned 60, R17? Don’t you mean you got 60?

R19, I suppose, yes, I got to 60.

Back in my early miserable days, I'd get to 21.

Got. Got.

Got 60 what?

After I got 60 friends I decided that was enough.

I have sufficient.

I’ve found there are 2 options - don’t focus on the unreliable or irritating traits of friends /acquaintances or be alone every day until you die. You have to work at friendships - if you want them. It gets harder and harder to find anyone as you get older - so you become less picky.

I never had many friends and now nearing 60 it's pretty much down to one frenemy. I'm used to being friendless and have known for a long time that there would be nobody to help me around when I got old. No children, no pets and no friends. My family pretty much hates me and I think they would be relieved if I went away. sad but true. How do you make friends after 60, I don't plan to go to an old age home or retirement home, I stopped going to bars and clubs a long time ago. I split with my b/f a couple of years ago and all of the friends were his and all of them ghosted me.

I have a huge dick that still gets rock hard so I have no problems finding friends :D

[Quote]me and the people who walk their dogs in the same neighbourhood and green space do not soiree

Oh, dear .... and a green space is not a dog park where typically the same people gather regularly and hang around in groups.

Society has so drastically changed (degraded) over the years I quite frankly find the vast majority of people I come into contact with for a certain length of time to be not the sort of people I want to get close to. Even many people i knew long ago who were reasonably sane back in the day I find have gone a bit batty when I run into them now. I have said for years there must be something in the water now that has made so many people become mentally abnormal, and thankfully some of us are apparently immune to it. It is for that very reason I am extremely careful who I let come within my circle of safety.

Ditto R29. And I find that being a little off myself makes it that much harder to spot cuckoos.

[quote] Even many people I knew long ago who were reasonably sane back in the day I find have gone a bit batty when I run into them now. I have said for years there must be something in the water now that has made so many people become mentally abnormal, and thankfully some of us are apparently immune to it.

It's not about being immune to anything. Some people just have more pressure than they can handle and it makes them crazy.