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Sex drive and aging

As gay men, has your sex drive diminished as you aged. I guess testosterone starts to diminish in your 40s, and they say that correlates with a lower sex drive. Is that the case? I ask because, in my admittedly anecdotal experience, gay men in their 40s are still plenty horny, like all the time. When does age catch up to you as far as sex drive, or is doing the butt stuff a hunger that never really goes away?

by Anonymousreply 28March 27, 2023 3:04 AM

For me the libido started to decrease in my mid 50s. And believe you me, it was rampant from the age of 14 on. By 60 I could care less about sex. Now at 70 the very thought of going out looking for some tail makes me physically ill.

by Anonymousreply 1March 25, 2023 11:58 AM

I'd say in your late 50's. The thoughts are there but a lot less so. The work involved and cleanup seem more like an undesirable chore than the minor thrill you would get. I would much rather have a good mean and a nap afterwards with someone.

by Anonymousreply 2March 25, 2023 12:13 PM

R2- It’s varies greatly from person to person.

by Anonymousreply 3March 25, 2023 12:34 PM

Less for me at 69 but still very much present.

by Anonymousreply 4March 25, 2023 12:49 PM

Spooge becomes a dribble too.

by Anonymousreply 5March 25, 2023 1:33 PM

In my 30s, I wanted sex so badly so often that it threatened to interfere with the rest of my life. Back then, I thought to myself it’ll be nice not to have to deal with that when I’m older.

Thirty years later, my sex drive is just about as strong as it was then. I don’t act on it like I did then. But it can be frustrating. Pre-pandemic, I had a few reliable fuck buddies. Trying to make that happen again but it isn’t easy.

I really love sex but life would be simpler I’d I weren’t always horny.

by Anonymousreply 6March 25, 2023 1:41 PM

^^^^^ if not I’d

by Anonymousreply 7March 25, 2023 1:52 PM

One can improve one's sex drive by taking excellent care of oneself such as not smoking, drinking or taking drugs. Eating mostly plant foods and no junk food and exercising daily.

by Anonymousreply 8March 25, 2023 8:49 PM

I'm 59, and still have a pretty powerful sex drive. I'm recently widowed, and am very lonely and would love a friend with benefits or even just a fuck buddy - but have absolutely no idea how to go about finding one. I've tried a couple of apps, but honestly the men just seem so flighty and disengaged, that you can't even hold a decent conversation with them. I would also consider hiring an escort, and I've looked at web sites, but have no idea how that would work - they don't come out literally and say they will have sex with you - but I'm thinking "boyfriend experience" or "other services" are in fact the sexual menu items. I feel weird as I've never been sexual with someone I wasn't in love with. IDK.

by Anonymousreply 9March 26, 2023 12:36 AM

I'm 75 and have a wank every day. Never imagined I would have a sex drive in these twilight years. The only possible hint I had was my grandfather (who I resemble) who remarried at 70, and his new wife sure had that "I got laid last night and I loved it" look right up until the day he died at 89.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 10March 26, 2023 1:02 AM

R9- You sound like a bit of a Frau.

by Anonymousreply 11March 26, 2023 1:03 AM

Age 72 here and still active - with myself.....once in a rare while an occasion arises.....

And of course I always look and am aware of my surroundings.

Needless to say, I look 58.

by Anonymousreply 12March 26, 2023 1:17 AM

R12- ;You masturbate once in a while or do you mean that you have sex once in a while?

by Anonymousreply 13March 26, 2023 1:30 AM

Wow R1. I can so relate! Sex addict early teens till 55. Now 60's, zero interest. The thought makes me sick.

by Anonymousreply 14March 26, 2023 2:20 AM

R1 and R14- If the thought of having sex with a guy makes you both SICK 🤢 perhaps you're both turning into heterosexuals

by Anonymousreply 15March 26, 2023 2:22 AM

R15, That's a good one. It's just been so long and with the newer generations coming up, it all seems too overwhelming. When I was younger and having sex every day and usually more, I would just hook up with someone walking down the street, met in a bar, the gym, pretty much anywhere. There was no pre-planning, endless texts and pics exchanged, ghosting, and basically no rules. It was just fun and spontaneous and more often than not, wild. Everyone pretty much treated each other respectfully and weren't all hung up on perfect looks, bodies and what they were into. It just seems like so much work now.

by Anonymousreply 16March 26, 2023 2:39 AM

^ forgot, age was not a big deal and didn't spend hours cleaning out for a hookup.

by Anonymousreply 17March 26, 2023 2:42 AM

R16 R17 If you didn't spend hours cleaning up for a hookup, what did you do? Did you avoid anal or did people not care if things weren't perfectly clean in terms of the hole experience? Also, what decades are you talking about?

by Anonymousreply 18March 26, 2023 6:15 AM

R16 didn't clean out? Literal definition of dirty old men.

by Anonymousreply 19March 26, 2023 8:24 AM

R1 I am the same as you, I was rampant from aged about 14, even though I wasn’t getting any I was desperate for it. I am now 63, I started to notice a real difference in my 50’s. I wasn’t wanking every everyday, no longer regularly waking up with a hard on. I do still think about cock but I think that’s just a habit, I was so horny all of the time and had so many hook ups that I can’t get used to no having actual interest in doing it.

I keep telling myself that it’s a good thing, the time I wasted just thinking about sex and trying to get it, months, years and decades. I miss meeting young dirty rampant guys, even just to look at and admire them naked.

by Anonymousreply 20March 26, 2023 10:21 AM

R13 - Prestidigitation occurs daily....sex with someone else....once a year or so.....

by Anonymousreply 21March 26, 2023 4:23 PM

Old men should find sex as repulsive as we do.

by Anonymousreply 22March 26, 2023 4:27 PM

R21- Oh, ok

by Anonymousreply 23March 26, 2023 5:42 PM

R18, It was the 70's, 80's and 90's. I showered every day and no one was really obsessed with enemas and planning. If things were a little messy, you just grabbed a towel after and wiped off. It was just thought of as a normal part of fucking. Things were just so much less preplanned and much more spontaneous.

by Anonymousreply 24March 26, 2023 5:54 PM

No R19, at the time I would have been a dirty young man ;)

by Anonymousreply 25March 26, 2023 5:55 PM

Yes, but dirty young men turn into dirty old men. So....

by Anonymousreply 26March 26, 2023 9:05 PM

Thanks R24 that sounds better than how things are today.

by Anonymousreply 27March 27, 2023 3:04 AM

^^ R18

by Anonymousreply 28March 27, 2023 3:04 AM
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