BEARKING NEWS: The Difference Between a Cotillion and a Debutante Ball

Aunt Belle : Pres has always loved you in white. If he isn't simply bowled over by it, I won't know what to think.

Julie : [speaking to an assistant who carries off a red dress] Wait a minute. Bring that over here. Saucy, isn't it?

Aunt Belle : And vulgar!

Julie : Yes, isn't it? Come on, get me out of this.

Aunt Belle : Julie, what are you doing?

Julie : If it fits me, I'm gonna wear it to the Olympus Ball.

Aunt Belle : A red dress to the Olympus Ball? Why, you're out of your senses.

Julie : ...Mary Vickers couldn't possibly do it justice.

Aunt Belle : Child, you're out of your mind. You know you can't wear red to the Olympus Ball.

Julie : Can't I? I'm going to. This is 1852, dumpling, 1852! Not the Dark Ages. Girls don't have to simper around in white just because they're not married.

Aunt Belle : In New Orleans, they do. Julie, you'd insult every woman on the floor.

Mme. Poulard : Mademoiselle, your aunt, she's right. Look how beautiful this dress is.

Julie : Will you kindly get me out of this?

Aunt Belle : Julie, you can't be serious.

Julie : Never more serious in my life.

Aunt Belle : But Julie, think of Pres.

Julie : That's just exactly what I am thinking of.

Stop trying to make Bearking happen.

Now that our Southern Living friends have clarified that, there's more to learn!

I was promised a Bear King. I have been sorely disappointed.

My grandfather was president of one of the oldest and largest debutante balls still going and even my sister, who debuted over thirty years ago, knew it was on its way out.

Most girls now don’t bother unless the parents are involved and force them to. Often the promise of gifts (like a BMW 3 series) sweeten the deal.

It’s normally just a month or two of binge drinking, and girls can do that any day of the week at college anyway.

🎼"Oh come one and all, to the debutantes ball, it's very refined......."🎶

- Harpers Bizarre

This thread reeks of someone with no life.

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Cotillions are what Black people have.

Can we discuss trans visibility (or lack thereof) in cotillion and debutante culture? Is this a cause we need to rally around?

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As Sheldon Cooper beautifully clarified, "Cotillion offers all the tools needed to function in 18th century Vienna". It's all for ugly, yet wealthy children of equally fugly, but wealthy parents who think their little ghouls are something special. I didn't realize Debuts were still a thing. I last heard of those balls in the 80's. Now young women meet their husbands at college or after. Parents have little to do with it.

[quote] Cotillions are what Black people have.

Two tears in a bucket. Motherfuck it.

I wonder how many abortions are performed in New York State after this season of wonder in the former Confederacy?

Which one do I attend if I want to wear my cha-cha heals?

[quote]Cotillions are what Black people have.

Cotillion is my cousin!

Those gowns are very forgiving to the plus-size gals!

OP, you forgot to sign your post as Lindsey Graham!

The meals at debutante balls are hot and nutritious, that's the main difference.

I can't stand the old south now. I know the cities are supposed to be liberal but it's an ignorant backwater that drags the whole country down. Nothing but crackers and racists.

Fun photo feature from the NY Times (may be behind a paywall).

Cotillion Champale is my drag name.

There was a series of films released in the '80s and '90s titled, 'Dirty Debutantes' which would probably help to explain the differences between the two terms...

Aren't they both in essence just basically livestock shows letting eligible bachelor's know that your daughters are ready for fucking?

R25 I think boys do cotillion as well. Debuts are strictly for the 1% gals looking for someone in their financial league.

Mother's debut was canceled in 1944 because of the war. She didn't really care anyway.

Cotilllion? I LOVED her in La Vie En Rose!

Debutante balls are fun for the guys. I spent several Christmas and Summer seasons going to parties and balls. We got drunk, danced and stayed out late. All on someone else's dime. I had two tuxedos and half a dozen formal shirts when I was 18 because we'd trash our outfits and needed a spare. We were young, silly and came from money. Nothing to be ashamed of. Just how it is for some people. Don't be a hater. Be proud of whatever you were doing at that age.

R25, the debut thing doesn't just signify that your daughter is ready for fucking, it signifies that either the parents or the girl want the world to know that she won't fuck just anybody! That either she's holding out for an advantageous marriage, or her mother is damn well trying to *make*her hold out for an advantageous marriage.

I honestly wonder if these balls have any effect on the girls' marriage prospects. The girls come out at 18-ish, don't they? Since the girls don't marry that young, and the young men who are roped into the debut circuit are more interested in free booze than a wife, does a debut actually help a girl meet the right sort of straight man?

When you think about it. Beauty pageants also do serve this function for more lower class to middle class parents to get their daughters married off to a wealthy man. The judge women not only on beauty but poise, sophistication, intelligence and other talents.

I think the pageant route is slowly but surely being choked off too, R31.

R31, someone once described beauty pageants as "competing in all the skills a rich wife is expected to have".

Looking fantastic in a wide range of clothing, accepting judgement of one's body, discussing current events politely, acting happy when some other bitch gets something you want, wearing jewelry well, etc. Everything but the breeding, but they sort of cover that in the "can't have been married before" clause.