Gwyneth Paltrow's request to give treats to bailiffs in her ski crash case denied by judge

Jade eggs for their vajines and anuses.

Pussy scented candles

Friendship.

She’s so transparent with the no makeup, wearing the same clothes several days in a row, offering treats to staff etc.

She looks better wearing her glasses.

She's such a clown. How did the great Blythe Danner produce this third-rate disappointment?

Cast-offs from her celebrity swag bags.

She killed a man in broad daylight and skied away laughing, and THIS is where her priorities are? Honey, I'd worry about that electric chair instead.

I love her. Such a class act. Americans are so trashy we need people Goop.

R8 she didn't kill him

Spray bottles of This Smells Like My Vagina. So the bailiffs can smell her when she's not there.

Is this civil or criminal?

It's civil and no one was killed. The guy she ran into is suing her. I hate Gwynnie but this is a cash grab. I would toss this out if I was on the jury.

R12 civil

With the aviator glasses at the pic in the link, she looks like Jeff Dahmer in a woman's wig

She looks like 70s era Gloria Steinem with the aviator glasses.

Paleo cocktail wienies in cauliflower buns and petit steins of kombucha beer. What working class stiff wouldn’t drool over that?

R16, someone in Twitter said that she looks like it’s 1987 and she’s on trial for hiring a hit man to kill her husband.

Pretty much, r18.

Goop branded nasty shit that’ll cause everyone to shit copious amounts and calling it a cleanse.

Not only should the request have been denied, she should've been backhanded across the face quite viciously, at the time the request was made.

Is it wrong to hope she loses?

You stupid bitch.

Does she understand what’s going on? That’s she’s on trial, in an actual court of law?

Offering treats to the bailiffs DURING AN ONGOING TRIAL is an attempt at bribing a party that’s meant to be neutral.

The fact she showed up in court and actually made the request means her legal team didn’t or couldn’t stop her.

She’s not getting the gravity of the situation.

Why bribe the bailiffs, they can't help her.

I bribed the bailiff, but I did not goop the deputy.

I kinda enjoy her more now that she's become a caricature of herself.

This has John Waters potential.

Oh fuck her.

Blowjobs.

Claudine Longet did it so much better.

Duh. Edible candles.

She's a...what's the word...ditz.

Placenta cookies

R34 Glad I’m not the only one who’s mind went there.

She was going to shoot some ozone up their anuses.

She is unbelievably tacky.

Ski lift tickets in Park City, Utah

She will enlighten them with her new course:

Hi, I'm Gwyneth Paltrow. I Eat a handful of nuts per week, drink on cucumber martini and smoke on pretentious French cigarette from my vagina every 8 months after I allow Brad to stick his dirty boner into my pristine vagina.

I am the epitome of EVERYTHING IN MODERATION... I AM THE WAY.

Breast milk-shakes, ethically sourced from Peruvian womyn who experienced recent late stage miscarriages. They were adequately compensated for their production.

She looks like she's trying to adjust to life for regular people in this photograph.

Hey I tried to give them cans of bacon grease and back issues of Vogue. That judge is out of order.

It is unfortunate that the untouched photo coverage of the trial emphasizes Miss Well Adjusted's facial surgeries

Two almonds and an admonition to chew them really well, or maybe three little smiles of grapefruit.

One or the other; not both. Don't get any crazy ideas, fatties.

She's making Amber Heard style "pity me, I'm the victim here" types of facial expressions in court. A sure sign of guilt (and poor acting ability).

I believe they said today that lawyers from both sides are equally splitting the cost of buying lunch for the jurors because the trial will go on for a good while, and they don't want to burden the jurors with the cost. This isn't a new concept, it's a rather normal practice.

Vagina scented sweets?

Those candles are quite expensive, it's rather shocking what she dares to charge. Not a site for the little people.

[quote]She killed a man in broad daylight and skied away laughing, and THIS is where her priorities are? Honey, I'd worry about that electric chair instead.

Yup. Killed him dead. And he's prepared to testify to that.

R8 “skied away laughing?” She didn’t run off the former President!

That quoted post in r50's reply is really something

Those are jurors, not bailiffs, R47; both legal teams agreed to split the costs.

Paltrow’s gesture was different: she thought providing her dingbat treats to officers of the court was a good idea. And, no one that she’s paying for legal advice was able to dissuade her of how stupid/inappropriate such a move could prove.

She must be a nightmare of a client.

The Perfect Murder II: Park City Boogaloo

"She killed a man in broad daylight and skied away laughing... And she'll do it again!"

She refuses to pretend to make $40k per year.

She killed a man on the bunny slope, just to watch him die.

R6, Blythe "Prolia" Danner's no brainiac herself.

that's is so her, loves it♥️♥️♥️

u bitches r getting boring, where r the catty comments

She really is stupid. She's got that gormless face too. She's insufferable and ridiculous. What'd she want to give them, her recipe for bone broth or a vagina steamer? She's an idiot.

[quote]She killed a man in broad daylight

I nominate this "fact" to be the fresh new replacement for the old "fact" about Lorna Luft claiming she was molested.

Quartered radishes are hardly a treat to anyone, Gween

An ionic air freshener.dog bone for the taint. She like the vagina smell everywhere....but there.

[quote] She’s so transparent with the no makeup, wearing the same clothes several days in a row,

r4 She's wearing enough makeup, mascara, (I guess eyeliner and subtle shadows too), blusher, foundation/powder, those lips are not naked. Obviously different from current generation's pancake makeup.

How deeply did she delve into the other skier’s wellness before she skied away ⛷️

put some lavender on that brain injury. Bye, bitches!

vaginal yeast popovers

Does she steam her vadge with bone broth vapor?

Real world lighting does not do that woman any favors.

R68 oh there is a bone involved.

I was hoping the bailiffs would find me relatable so I did the food stamp challenge for them and bought them a week's groceries for $29. Now everyone's mad at me.

Is she a yellow person or a new breed of opaque?

Say what you want about Gwyneth but her Spanish is perfect. It's the sophisiticated Castellon Spanish too (aka Spanish from Spain).

Why didn’t this case settle? It seems Goopy has all her family and the ski instructor lying for her. Is there any witness for the man saying she hit him?

Yes, there was an eyewitness present on the slope.

What a stupid, manipulative idea. Who doesn't know that giving gifts to any court employees is not appropriate until the case is settled?

[quote]How deeply did she delve into the other skier’s wellness before she skied away.

Well. She killed him, so all she had to do was make sure he was dead before skiing off laughing. What did you expect her to do? Stand and around and plan his funeral?

Gwyneth Paltrow Kills!

If she wanted to be “relatable”, she should have worn that fat suit from Shallow Hal.

She will win and then she will dine out on this with her friends but I doubt she talks much publicly.

I have to hand it to her, she hasn’t acted in anything in years, but she still manages to be in the headlines constantly. She is always up to something.

She may win but the ghost of the guy she killed will haunt the fuck out of her. She will never again enjoy a bone broth lunch.

A bunny slope.

For real white people, she's done.

Of for fucks sake. READING SKILLS. She killed no-one. A troll up thread was made a joke, because gullible twats can't understand a joke. The joke is on you!

Why doesn't she just pay out a settlement? She certainly has enough money. She must want the publicity of this publicized trial. She's getting off easy, considering she killed that man and won't face any charges.

R79, try to get over it.

She wasn't mocking your mother.

She was mocking you. And you don't count.

Because you're fat.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s courtroom looks: Everything she’s worn during her ski tria

This disinformation is BULLSHIT. She did NOT kill a man. She skied over a baby, and when she realized what she did, she turned around, spit on it, and laughed before skiing away. A BABY!

Looks her age, shockingly

r24 No.

This has always been her... completely out of touch and oblivious to how the real world works for most people.

It's not something she can comprehend. . . when I say that I don't mean the circumstances in which she has lived, no, she seriously, can't comprehend it.

this has always been her.

I'm going to need an extra cigarette after this stressful week!!

Gwyneth Paltrow blames brain-damaged ‘victim’ — and thought she was being sexually assaulted after ski-slope collision

r91 please, the girl is going to have a nicotine colonic, retreat to some cliche place to reflect and process her victimhood, write a book, and rebrand herself to milk this entire situation out for decades to come... this is the realest thing that has happened to her in the last decade. Just watch all the fraus line up for this eat. pray. love.

r92 she needs to fire her p.r. team and attorneys....

she should have just been open that she was advised (as most celebs are) to remove herself from the situation and contact her attorney immediately. . . and pulled a Di with a danger of the paps, potentially making a bad situation worse. This just seems all too poor little rich bitch... which people will see right thru and drag her for.

But meh, completely unable to comprehend how she's not the victim here.

People really just don't like her.

Lemon face

She looked lovely and handled herself well on the stand. Christ, she's almost 5'10". She's in Nicole territory. .

What is DL's sick obsession with Paltrow? It's right up there with the insane obsession with Markle.

Are the lives of all Gays this empty?

Yeah guys, this is incredibly serious and no joke.

At least negligent homicide.

Who died?

Let's start with child slave workers in the quartz mines of India, to make GOOP's vagina eggs.

What kind of work had she done to her FACE ????? she looks awful ! She looks older than Blythe

R96 Hey, that's my schtick!

She doesn't have earlobes.

She made the lawyer look cartoonish , she's quite savvy, the Paltrow .

Jar Jar Binks went blond at r96!

Grandpa Buster!!!

She has no lips.

Gwynie looks like she had a really stank pussy.

She looks like my sister. Limp blond hair, an oatmeal sweater, working in HR.

She looks like my older sister too R110

Never really worked a day in her life.

On the contrary R112. Working as a film star is so much harder than a regular 9 to 5 job. You're on location anywhere for weeks on end, staying at hotels, waiting on sets round the clock, unable to see your loved ones or do normal chores, such as shopping at Louis Vuitton, or getting a vegan brazilian pluck, like anyone else, and then the paparazzi thing is like war; It's like the killing fields of Pol Pot. Cleaning ladies and secretaries don't know their luck, believe me.

Nothing wrong with that, r112. I have worked from age 16 and have nothing to show for it.

I haven't watched the trial, who skied into who? They both claim it was the other.

It was clearly this dude, his daughter testified he'd drive at high speeds while reading books, he hit some guy hitting on his wife, he's obviously unhinged. There were allegations of him verbally abusing his ex-wife and daughters.

After all those years as Mrs Martin of Belsize Park did Gyenn ever put on an English accent à la Madonna?

r98: Hi Gwyneth!!

She got away with murder.

"Here are some gifts I thought you ignorant peasants would appreciate!"

--Gwyneth, to bailiffs

300K is nothing for her. Why is she sweating this one?

She's had plenty of plastic surgery but she still looks haggard and old.

No more leading lady roles for Goop. Good luck with the Snatch scented candles.

[quote]300K is nothing for her. Why is she sweating this one?

Needs the publicity

This human dumpster DELIBERATELY and with malicious intent, crashes into an innocent man and tries to offer her heated Vagina Stones and lettuce mask to jurors?

She killed a man!!!

This, and her Oscar for Shakespeare in Love requires-the Death Penalty.

Multiple Death Penalties!!!!

[quote]300K is nothing for her. Why is she sweating this one?

Because if she lets one of the people she's crashed into on skis get away with this, then all the others will try to.

I can't wait to read about that in the GOOP newsletter

R73 Sophisticated Spanish? Spaniards sound like Silvester the cat.

R73,I speak 7 languages !

I found this interesting. She's coming off very badly. Maybe she should focus on her unnerving cuntface instead of treats for the help.

Why is there a chasm of space between her upper lip and her nose? What happened there?

was she telling the truth

She's a smoker, so she probably developped these atrocious horizontal wrinkles above her upper lip, like Deneuve, and ironed them out. It looks bad. She's aged very poorly, despite her crazy obsessive regimen

You can tell she had a full facelift because she has no ear lobes.

Here she is with her hair its natural color.

She wanted to give them bespoke plague masks she designed during lockdown.

Her lips (or lack thereof) are like a duck bill. They’re so hideous they’re giving me seizures.

R133 no I know what you’re saying but hers are just naturally attached - which is considered preferable. Look at old pics.

[quote]It was clearly this dude

Jenny Bea said that? There is no dude. Jenny Bea is neurotypical [sic] and her truth isn’t my truth. Rephrase that for me and give me a tissue.

[quote]his daughter testified he'd drive at high speeds while reading books

He did! I’m so very proud of the man he used to be. Let’s talk about what I’ve lost since that woman nearly decapitated my daddy on the bunny slope:

1. He beat up my minivan and screamed in my daughter’s face. Like Jenny Bea, she wants nothing to do with him.

2. He cut his inner thigh and almost bled to death. I was spared the inner thigh, but I did have to see photos of the bloody bathtub. Ick!

3. He ODed and was brought back with naloxone, but he didn’t come to with even a [italic]hint[/italic] of élan. No flair; no flourish. That, to me, was the saddest.

[quote]he hit some guy hitting on his wife, he's obviously unhinged.

Hit? Hitting? Unhinged? I’m the granddaughter of a 102-year-old woman who is MY Native American link, and you seem neurotypical.

[quote]There were allegations of him verbally abusing his ex-wife and daughters.

Oh, Jenny Bea again? Again, Jenny Bea’s truth isn’t my truth. Do you want to rephrase that for me?

Judge? Sir? Hello? I’m taking myself off the stand now. I have a plane to catch at 5:30.

I bet she wanted to give them gold plated sextoys and shit like that, thinking it cool and fun .she's so clueless

The bailiffs will consider a walkout after not getting their ethically-sourced, organic, brown rice cakes.

Why didn't she just make this go away with a settlement and an NDA?

Why is she wearing so much gold jewelry?

Is this a jury trial, or is the judge going to determine if she's liable?

Because he skied into her. She was down slope of him, so he is responsible for the fall and his injuries, if they, in fact, resulted from the fall. Why should she pay him?

I wanted to love her again for a brief moment because of “YOU SKIED INTO MY FUCKING BACK”. I don't know, maybe if she had thrown in a "DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM", it may have turned out differently.

I tried making her into a comic book character and she's even boring then.

I'd be pissed af having to deal with this horse shit for 7 YEARS because this ancient troll wants an undeserved payout.

He's going to get saddled with her legal fees. Then he'll repeal the verdict. Then he'll die before paying her legal fees.

Seaweed soaked in bone broth.

This will be her legacy.

She can't ski.

R133, I have attached earlobes and it has nothing to do with facelifts. It’s just someone your born with. Apparently Angelina Jolie has them too.

I'm surprised the jurors have to buy their own lunches. In my jurisdiction, I think the judiciary pays for their lunch. They also get a small daily fee (which is probably sub-minimum wage).

I heard when she saw what she had done she skied ⛷️ over 40 more

She needs less vagina smelling candles and more semen smelling candles. Big, fat, twelve hour ones.

Bitch looks elderly.

She has no star power. Even in this courtroom she’s as dull and charisma-free as she is onscreen.

R133 No way she's had a facelift. In fact I kept thinking while looking at those photos, "this bitch desperately needs a lower face lift and forehead botox...maybe even a lip lift". She probably feels she's above it. I honestly don't think she's had any major facial cosmetic work done than other than the kinds of treatments you can get from your derm. She barely even wears sunscreen! I think she'll probably allow herself to age like her mother did—tastefully.

She's always been a very high maintenance pain in my ass.

op, shook yet? That's the power of goop

She stole that script of Shakespeare in Love from Winona Ryder while poor Winona was out busy shoplifting. She is capable of anything.

is that story really true, i thought it was the other way around? isn't ryder the klepto?

Snausage treats for the poors

R159 Nope, I've always heard Gwyneth was the thief, too.

Widely reported that organic cruelty free rapeseed waxed sticky fingers Paltrow stole that script.

It sounds as if he has no case, which is a shame because thin-lipped, big-nosed Goop is so awful. Being photographed without filters is her undoing.

She needs to put some weight on her body, STAT. She looks disgusting and very unhealthy. No wonder she suffers from major health issues.

I wish DL was a Goop-free zone.

R164 she’s NOT that thin anymore. I can think of many thinner actresses. She simply didn’t age very well (not as badly as people are saying though)

R141 Because she's tacky that way. One of the tabloid articles did the tally of the thick gold chains, five bracelets, watch, and other stuff, at $650K. Another claimed she was wearing 750-800k worth. She has toned it down since the negative press. She's very 1980s conspicuous consumption. I don't think this look helps her in court TBH.

How did you expect the Ultimate Spence Mean Girl to dress?

How bizarre that the parties pay for the jury's lunch.

In the UK jurors claim an allowance for lunch.

R167, growing up in 80s LA "high society" adjacent, I LOVE how underneath their cool veneers both Goop and Angie clearly have that Dynasty-Betsy Bloomingdale- bigger is better- 80s thing in their souls.