Retiring from sex

Date a blind man

I haven't had sex since 2020, right before COVID. I'm not bothered - I masterbate 3 or 4 times a week. It seems safer and I don't want the hassle or someone in my home. I'm okay with it - really, my choice but, for you. you'll get over it.

However, and I know you don't want this advice, you might try finding a partner (not sure where you live). Plenty of Fish is free and you can find guys your age who want companionship, and love, long term relationships. But with that said, you really need to take the initiative and start the conversation....everyone wants to be chased so use that to your advantage.

Op Go jump in a toilet.

R1 and R3, shows the care and compassion of the few DLers who get off on someone else's misery.

R4 get a fucking therapist.

R2 Plenty of Fish is awful. It’s full of creeps 100 miles away who don’t know the current sites/apps.

Masterbation and porn are an old man's friend. Welcome new Eldergay!

I don’t mind R4. It wouldn’t be Datalounge otherwise.

^ okay, tune out those losers. You are a great guy and just "do you".

I reengaged last year post pandemic. Had some fun. But at 55, the drive is just disappearing. I have to make myself masturbate 1-2x week for health/prostate. But I’m finding a drastic drop off in the past 2-3 years. Which I’m fine with - it’s largely a waste of time and mental energy.

Might I suggest you head down to The Rusty Anchor?

I invite you to look at hiring escorts in a different light.

I used their services for a few years but more as a way to get back into dating and getting used to booking up and building confidence in a setting where I feel is private and discreet.

I don’t hire them much anymore because I just don’t need to but they helped me transition back into dating after a long relationship in which I isolated myself from social settings.

What's wrong with paying for an escort for sex? You'd have to pay for a date and it could be unsatisfactory in every way. With an escort, you could have sex with someone you could never get in real life, age- and looks-wise.

61,fat and thinning hair. I didnt retire from sex,it retired from me. Id LOVE to get railed again,but unlesss i pay for it ,not going to happen. Absolutely nobody wants to fuck an old bottom,not even old tops. Nope,reality is I will never get fucked again unless I shell out. Im okay with that really,but the ones that advertise leave much to be desired.

Like a personal trainer for your sex life.

I know you are not asking for advice but try a bath house. Im 30, and often hook up with 50 plus year olds at the sauna.

In a way - you need to make peace with this new chapter in your life. It doesn't mean you won't ever have sex again, but getting comfortable with this lack of intimacy is good for your mental health. You may feel the loss from time to time but don't let that get you down. Simply acknowledge the feelings you have and grieve however long it takes. You'll be fine. I know I am.

R1 and R3 maybe the bitchery that is DL but they're still cunts.

Hi OP. I retired when COVID hit. I was 58. Unlike you, I was very handsome for years and many of those years I was a raging slut with as many partners as I wanted. Hundreds a year easily. It started to taper out for me too, anyway, at 50. I mean I could still get fucked, but my older fuck buddies started to drop me at 50, because they were 50 too and 50 yo hotties don't want to fuck their own age. Each year I noticed a decline in my prospects. Finally when COVID arrived I had to face facts that I was handsome but OLD and of no value on the meat market. Now that COVID is over, perhaps I'll keep it open for another romance but no more fast and easy sex. Seasons of life I guess. Good luck to you. Keep yourself open for a flirt or relation, perhaps.

^ can I ask what you HIV status is? I wonder if that plays into it too??

R19 it really is the opposite for me. Body shame and fear of HIV, as well as intermittent SSRI use, kept my libido low during my peak years of stamina and attractiveness. Then the opposite happened during the pandemic—my sex drive woke up and my delayed adolescence is now ready to start. I don’t know why, I don’t want it, but I guess the repressed will always return if you live long enough. And that’s why I don’t want escorts—I wanted the experience of meeting a sex partner who wants me and going for it. Jot going to happen.

It sucks. I’ll manage but wish it were easier.

[quote]Absolutely nobody wants to fuck an old bottom,not even old tops.

There's that community pulling together again!

I overdid it for years, and am now underdoing it... it was fun while it lasted and I'm still running on the fumes.

I let go of hookups and now do daily wanks with porn after having enough of the crazy experiences and letdowns. I've had good sex and can go back to the memory library, and porn lets me order up whatever I want with a better success rate. I'm thoroughly happy with this and just look at it like another life stage thing.

Like I really give a shit what you do with yourself.

Reading through the comments and what I'm understanding is that the grand jury USUALLY only meets on Mondays and Wednesday but have the option to meet on Thursdays.

And, there was a witness they wanted to hear from who was not available today (Wednesday) but is available tomorrow.

This would also explain why he assumed he would be indicted on Tuesday--after the vote on Monday

Op please retire from the DL. Just a thought.

R26, interesting take!

OP, you sound like a great guy. I hope things work out for you.

Don’t give up, OP, you’re too young for such a drastic decision.

I totally agree with R2!

Sorry, wrong thread

I’m pregnant

OP, but your cock is too nice and too big to keep in reserve! Be the slut you want to be!

It’s really not R34

OP, get with some of the eldergays on DL. They're horny, and they'd love to make your hole happy!

[quote]Retiring from sex

[quote]I hit 50 this year.

Retiring at 50 - what are you, French?

The drop off in interest on the apps after 50 is brutal. Even fellow over-50s are uninterested. I think it's just me and my right hand from here on out. 🤷‍♂️

I didn't have any sex from almost 45 to 60, raising three kids on my own, working a stessful job, etc. Joined Grindr about a month ago (my gay son talked me into it), and now I have A LOT of mid-20s to mid-30s guys begging me to fuck them. I'm decent looking but nothing spectacular, OK dad bod, average cock, but they love it. Feels weird to sleep with people who can be younger than my kids, but also liking it. Can't cum three times a night like I used to but once seems to be good enough.....

OP, start fucking women and/or trans guys. They're into older guys.

Miss, with all due respect I have problems of my own.

OP, have you tried shaking your groove thing while wearing long earrings that glitter and sway with the movement?

Sounds like a great idea. No one really turns me on and when I do finally get laid, I find the hookups typically suck. Like not in the good way. It’s like why put dollars out there, when all you get back is cents?

I could be wrong but, in similar threads to this, there has been a poster who claims to be 80 and still have a sex life. I didn't get the impression he was making it up (by clearly playing it for laughs, for example). Perhaps he'll contribute.

OP, you need to embrace the Mama-method for nailing hot trade after 50: when you spot your prey, smile, lick your lips, and slowly mouth the word "yummmmm..." Then throw your caftan over your head and let him feast his eyes. Works every time...

R19- It's a bit extreme but my father went to the office 5 days a week until he was 91. Why did you retire so young-ish at 58. Every other queen on the datalounge mentions the fact that they retired at fifty something.

R38- Someone mentioned it earlier- FUCK the apps

Try a bathhouse. I've never used the sex apps. I only use a bathhouse when I want some action- and no I am perfectly happy to have sex with guys who are 48+ years old- I'm 57 years old. I had sex the other night at a bathhouse with a guy who's penis was impressively small.

My motto is "Go where you are treated best." Every few months I book a ticket to Cairo or Delhi. Believe me I am no oil painting, but I meet some very enthusiastic guys who seem so happy I am there. Believe me they will be happy to see you.

R48- I LIKE Arab guys and Indian guys- that sounds HOT.

It is best to be a bottom in Cairo but in India you find both tops and bottoms.

R48- Where do you meet these guys?

Do THEY approach you?

Some of us have been so fugly since birth no one has ever wanted to have sex with us. You'll get used to it.

Just kill me...

I meet them on the apps usually. Planetromeo is big in India. In Cairo less so. Make sure you have an apartment from Airbnb or something because the Cairo hotels often time refuse guests. In India it is not problem.

I'm the opposite of op. I'm almost 60 and still quite horny. I was just actually browsing rentmen and thinking of hiring an escort . lol

I’m 56 and COVID led to my abrupt early retirement. I’ve had sex three times since March 2020, all with a fuck bud in his early 60’s who probably is winding down too. My sex drive had slowed considerably in the 5 years before 2020, but I was still getting plenty of sex when I wanted it in the before times so this has been a big change. I’m a decent looking top with a nice sized dick that still gets hard without assistance, so I probably still have reasonable prospects for a bit longer. But I can’t do it anymore amid all this contagion. The worst is that kissing is what turns me on the most now and it’s the thing I now fear doing most.

I had great sex and great gobs of it for about 30 years. So at least I’ve moved into a new phase with no regrets about lost time or opportunity. But watching porn does make me miss it!

R56, if COVID is the only thing holding you back, maybe you should reevaluate. If you are sufficiently boosted and can get Paxlovid if needed, a COVID infection should not be too serious unless you are immunocompromised. I’m not trying to minimize it, but it’s at least worth discussing with your doctor. We are just not seeing many extremely serious cases like we did in the beginning.

MrGoAsian has yet to chime in.

It seems like the genuine ones who want something are just spread out way too damn thin.

You aren't That old, OP. You never know what life is gonna bring. Don't be resigned to give up on romance.

Another hot old codger here with his dance card fully booked. I have to peel the twinks off me, everywhere I go. A line outside my door.

One thing I have learned when it comes to sex is that there is a lid for every pot. You never know what someone is attracted to. People assume that hot guys just like other hot guys. For the most part that might be true. But you don't need most guys to like you, you just need one or two. I would search sites like fetlife that focus on fetishes mostly, outside of the box thinking. I would put up an honest profile stating what you are looking for. Consider yourself to have drifted in to a niche, fetish category when it comes to sex. There might be someone out there who desires exactly what you are and has been waiting for you to come along. There are some people who get off fucking "undersirable" guys because their ego requires them to be worshiped. You never never know what get's someone off. And you might be exactly the thing that does it for them. They won't be taking you to dinner - sometimes people are embarrassed about their real desires. But behind closed doors it's a different story. And once they've found the one that fulfills it for them, they tend to stick with them.

Great reply, R62.

I can't imagine spending hours/days/months looking for a fuck, when all you have to do is look down at your right/left hand. And in most cases, you've found the best fuck you'll ever have.

R64 what is it like to live with Autism?

R65 What is it like to live with constant yearning for the unattainable?

The hard thing at 50 is not only to find someone that is attracted to you for sex... but for you to be attracted back... I spent most of my life in a relationship with someone I loved very deeply from an emotional level but with whom I was never physically attracted to or sexually compatible with. The sex was infrequent and not altogether satisfying. The relationship ended during the pandemic... now I'd like to find someone attractive, but that's not an easy thing to find at this age... and with my own pandemic belly!

R64, maybe you're a bottom (as I am, mostly) but ai find that there's no comparison between orgasm after masturbation and orgasm as a top in anal sex. That's been my experience, at any rate - YMMV.

I retired from sex when I was 37. It wasn’t an overnight decision. Anti depressants and a succession on heartbreaks and bad hook ups just made me not want to pursue sex anymore. Until a few years back I would still fantasize but that is long gone. As I’m pushing 50 I still got my looks (I won the genetic lottery - just good genes I guess) but never really have anyone interested in me other than creeps.

I guess it’s not related to our appearances. Aging counts as well but at the end I just don’t emanate any sexual vibes like I used to. I miss some aspects of a regular sex life but the benefit is that I live a more peaceful existence. That also didn’t come overnight and I slowly embraced my new reality.

Wish you the best OP and hope things will work out for you.

That should be "I" find that there's no comparison. I'm sure that AI is scrupulously neutral on this question!

OP, since every sentence starts with "I" we can safely assume you'll continue your selfish ways.

I’ve gotta say this…. My parents are both 82 and still have sex every week. They love it. Been together since they were both 20 years old. I’ve been with my current husband for 18 years and our sex life just keeps getting better and better. I’m mid 50’s he’s mid 40’s. my second long term partner. I was the bottom he the younger top. Now’s it’s kinda flipped. Always monogamous, not because we have to be, we’re both still working out 5 times a week and handsome. But damn, the intimacy is so good.

We both never understood the need to sleep around. It was just boring for both of us!, Sex was never hard to come by and the both of us have pretty high self esteem. We both just waited for that certain someone to show up and then got to know each other in a deep honest way.

Being happy and confident is the best lure for sex you’ll ever have, no matter what age. It’s never about looks, it’s always about that inner confidence. My advice would be to get out and do the things you love, be open to people and friends. Stop caring at all, and then that’s the moment I’ve always found someone looks at you and thinks….mmmm.., that guys got it together, I might like to try some of that.

At 82, I watch women flirt with my dad outrageously, he is oblivious to it and that is the attraction.

Honestly?

IDGAF about sex so much, anymore.

I need enough money to retire in the next 15 years.

Right now, I’m concentrating on making money, putting as much away as possible, & finding a decent spot for my elder years.

I wouldn’t mind finding a partner, but I’m perfectly fine if I don’t.

OP, why are people turning you down? Do you live with a partner, & aren’t truly available? Do you hide behind physical traits used to make you less attractive? Do you have a job, or do you spend the day just indulging yourself? Do you have a host of ideas to discuss with others, or is your rundown really superficial?

Being attractive to others isn’t just about looks. You have to have something going on, in order to have others want to spend time with you, and/or fuck you.

I’m not attempting to be cruel. I’m just asking these questions, because self awareness is key, for us all.

I'll be 50 next year. I'm slender, fit, and handsome, but I've given up as well. But, I also manage my depression without therapy/meds, which certainly doesn't help.

I am also more focused on career and building up savings. If I'm growing old and my body is going to fall apart, I am going to do i as comfortably as I can.

OP and R74, you two should get together for copious amounts of sex.

[quote]Retiring from sex

If you are not a sex worker but feel that sex is work, you are doing it wrong.

Will there be a retirement party? I’ll come.

66 and living my best sex life since 60 in my big college town. Was fucking a hot freshman all last year and then he invited a buddy to come fuck with us. They say we're a thruple but I won't invite them to live with me. Word is out that I'm the hottest and coolest zaddy in town. I even go to some campus parties and everyone is so nice to me. More action then I got at West Point when I was 20. I have to be careful they don't get too attached, however. Trying to keep my options open, and not looking to settle down with a twink. I like mature guys, around 30.

Wow Dude, I'm in the same boat. For some reason my cock got bigger in my 50s, from 8 to over 9. My doctor couldn't explain it I guess it was the HGH I was stacking. Now I'm 63 and just broke up with my boyfriend, who's 24 and in law school. I hated to do it but he started pestering me about how we should adopt kids. Adopt!!! He knows I already have grown children from my 1st AND 2nd wives. I just want to fuck and have affection. And I like puppy play. I don't need kids again but I sure love fucking and training young rapscallions!

[quote] For some reason my cock got bigger in my 50s, from 8 to over 9. My doctor couldn't explain it.

Perhaps, it was that 200 pounds you lost on Jenny Craig.

I’m in a similar situation- old, ugly, etc- but I have nothing else better to do with my life so I’m going to keep trying to find “Mr Right” since the thought of giving up entirely is too sad for me.

I may never find him and the search is frustrating but it’s better to try than to give up in order to sit at home masturbating until I die.

I don't understand. You go out - into public - looking for Mr. Right? Where?

I stopped having sex during the pandemic. I still appreciate eye candy but that's about it. I have no interest in sex but try to masturbate weekly using porn to flush out the pipes.

Op and R81, you have nothing to lose. Try some dating site, again, Plenty of Fish is free and see what you get. The only commitment is for you to take the initiative in approaching someone. You have absolutely nothing to lose.

R81, lay off insulting yourself. You should be your biggest fan and speak that talk!

R81- How old R U?

R85, I know you didn't pose the question to me but wanted to add:

I'm 61, above average looks, educated, nice job, tall, thin/fit and live in West Hollywood, My primary ask is that the guy be decent, kind, considerate and has a retirement account. I'm those and I want that in return - I'm attracted to a lot of different men so that isn't holding me back.

I'm also finding men are getting better looking with age and there is an audience for me...and this is in West Hollywood!!

At my age, people want a nice guy who treats them well and they can age together....the other stuff is icing on the cake.

OP, what celebrity or known figure do you most resemble? It would help to tailor advice to you if we had some idea of what you look like.

R81 here. I’m 51 and I live in NYC. I’m tall and have a big dick but I’m flabby and kind of boring. I’m on all the apps though I’m looking for dates (ultimately a long term) and not hookups (too depressing).

I hate it but like I said, giving up isn’t an option for me since I have nothing else going on (no real friends or family, no pets). So my life these days consists of work, sleep, Netflix, and trying to score a date. I’m guessing I’ll be doing this for a while unless God decides to send me a man before I die.

[quote] I’m guessing I’ll be doing this for a while unless God decides to send me a man before I die.

That's the spirit!

No one has sex anymore.

If you have a REALLY big dick, 51 is young enough to get you laid, hun.

^ but does it work without help??

Oh brother, get a load of some of the humble brags on here.

R87, Joyce DeWitt

No sex. Heck I don’t even masturbate anymore. Lost interest.

Another one for the sexcation team-

Latin America is another option. Partner & I's getaway of choice.

Caveat: Puerto Vallarta is an exception. It's a great gay destination but all the North Americans coming there, many over 50, have created a dynamic of *GENEROSITY* required. Many old gringos willingly pay for play there so don't think your personality or even 9 inch dick will get you attention.

Side note: most American men these days seem incapable of flirting unless it's a passive aggressive tap or woof on an app. While I long for my lost days of flirtatkon, I realize they are not mine alone.

I feel for the future of gays.

To R96 point, if you want to pursue a relationship, look outside of your race, comfort zone. Also, look at men chat groups in other countries.

If you are solely looking to move on, time will help with that.

I don’t miss sex at this time.

I want to spend the next year, working on myself. I’ve been at my current job for almost 6 months, soon.

I’m just starting to really feel my confidence coming back, & I want to excel there.

Also, I’m slightly overweight right now. I want to spend the next year really taking GREAT care of myself, by going to the gym, & just doing things that make my life healthier and happier.

I’m also still in need of more therapy. There are things that I still need to work out in therapy, & I’m self aware enough to understand this.

For the first time in a VERY long time, I have the genuine desire to put myself first. I’ve been waiting for this feeling to authentically resonate within me, for more than just a few hours, or a few days. And lo & behold, it has.

I reconnected with someone whom I truly care for, but I’m my honest estimation, I do not believe either of our circumstances are ideal right now.

I’d like to eventually find someone who is genuinely, emotionally available to me. Dating a guy who still has entanglements with others, is as non ideal for me, as it is for him, when I just don’t want to answer to anyone but myself right now.

It’s OK to prioritize one’s self, OP.

Good luck. Wishing you well.

R88- If you're in NYC and you decide you do want to have some sex while waiting for MR. RIGHT to come along , I would suggest you go to a bathhouse. I read there's only one left in NYC- East Side Club.

R88 you need to go to an underwear party or just go out and also you need to emphasize that you are hung on the apps and in person.

Retiring from sex? Nevah. My gentleman callers need me.

The clubs with basements/dark rooms have taken over the bathhouse market. They are all over the place now, especially nyc. As the bathhouses are closing, this scene is expanding.

R88- Your life consists of work, sleep, Netflix, trying to score a date and

DATALOUNGE

OP, just face the facts and give it up already. It's just going to get worse the older you get. Start looking to have interests in a hobby or something like that. Getting old can be a real bitch or rather , is a real bitch.

R14- Just start TOPPING silly

Look. I'm just going to ask.

[quote]I have some physical issues that make me particularly unappealing and which I can’t really change.

What does this mean OP?

R106- He means that he has a SCRAWNY ass and an ACORN sized penis.

Oh I see R107! I don't know what to say to that actually.

50 seems pretty young to hang it all up is my opinion. I'm 53 and still wank a couple of times a day. I'm a firm believer in that old adage that there's someone for everyone.

Even Hitler had a girlfriend OP.

[quote] The clubs with basements/dark rooms have taken over the bathhouse market. They are all over the place now, especially nyc

Where? Where? Are they very sketchy?

Sex is overrated

R111-When was the last time you had sex?

Sounds like you know what the issues are OP and what you need to do to correct them aside from the problems you are vague about which kind of limits a substantive response.

Where sex and friendship are concerned, what you give is what you get! As you grown older what you have to give changes and therefore you must as well.

R62 That is so sad. Who wants to be treated like a fetish?

I was a two or three times a day guy in my 20s for about two years, making up for lost time. Cruising, clubs, gaydar, darkrooms, couldn't get enough.

Then it became maybe once a week- again all randoms or fuckbuddies. Now in my late 40s, have zero interest in sex- where at one time I chased guys for sex to the point of exhaustion. My sex drive is dropped to 'negligible'. I don't miss it. The field became 'competitive', so I'm glad for what I got at that time in my life.

R110 basically all the bars in HK will at least have a room or a night where it goes down.

Red Eye seems to do it a few times a week.

Will add some more. Don’t know about Brooklyn.

It seems to be going mainstream where it used to be seedy and drug fueled o think it’s more of a party vibe now and they do those live onlyfans shoots.

Some are expressly voyer- friendly and some forbid it, requiring all attendees to participate or be booted as a looksy-loo.

Sex basically stopped happening for me when I turned 40.

I hired a couple of escorts in my 40s, and got some man-on-man contact from strippers and lap dances, but by the time I turned 50 that dried up too. No real interest in hiring escorts (not to mention, with the advent of OnlyFans, really hot escorts just evaporated because they can make money WITHOUT having to have 50 year old out of shape uggos like me pawing and slobbering all over them).

I officially retired from even trying to have sex or any kind of sexual contact with others when I turned 50. And of course Covid made me really double down on that. I barely even socialize anymore. If I need to get off (which is pretty much daily) I just hit up newtmbl or bdsmlr for my porn fix and rub one out. I can't imagine I'll ever actually have sex with another human being again.

Gosh as a 33 year old this thread scares me.

R118- Don't worry. I'm 57 years old and I still seek out sex. I had sex at a bathhouse last Saturday. It's still fun too.

Kevin Sessums in da house at R119!

R120- Who is this Kevin Sessums person and what is the significance of him?

R33 it scares me as well. But I’m 54 and the sex is still 2 - 3 times a week. Why would you ever stop!

OP have you tried Gay Parks? What about paying hot guys? ......Just trying to be helpful....

"It is best to be a bottom in Cairo but in India you find both tops and bottoms."

All I can think of is the diarrhoea bottoms there.

So you sex retirees find you have freed up time and energy after retiring from sex?

Who cares, R114? Reframe it as a niche market, not some sad fetish. You could make yourself and someone else really happy if you found each other.

I think the OP and all those who are deprived of sex should learn to top. This is a skill that can be acquired and tops will always be in demand.

R126 Nailed it, pun intended.

Just turned 47. This last year I somehow developed top vibes without any intention of doing so. 9 out of 10 guys these days want me to top 10. Even more interesting, I am Asian and a bottom my whole gay life.

Happens here at home in SF and other countries. FWIW, Paris is 99% bottom despite all those MENA men.

Only change is more gray in my stubble that multiplied over the pandemic.

R126

I'd care. I wouldn't want to be some weird thing that someone has sex with. Many years ago, I watched a documentary about a group of women friends all of whom were morbidly obese. They claimed their weight had no effect on their lives. Then, one had surgery to reduce the size of her stomach. She lost weight, her health improved, she looked better, felt better about herself, began to date more, and her friends hated her. Toward the end, one who was a big promoter of "Big Women" started crying and saying that every man she'd dated wanted her only because she was grotesquely fat. They didn't see her as a person.

R128 Because gay men lusting after cock size and muscle care about the guy as a person?

There’s a difference between being a fuckboy and a fetishized fattie.

I am not interested in any sexual relationship/boyfriend situation. 55 here. I date sometimes but when the guy wants to have sex I am not going there.

Put that mussy in moth balls...

and find something more satisfying to do with your time

But do you still jerk off OP? Nothing still beats orgasm.

R131 so what makes it a date?

R134 Because guys say they are fine in a sexless relationship then they get all pissy when I won't put out. I have even dated guys who have said "I can change your mind"...F THEM.

[quote] I am not interested in any sexual relationship/boyfriend situation

But r135 you are not interested in a boyfriend situation either! You're a cock tease!

It's a pickle, OP.

R137- That's a beautiful pickle.

And no back talk. Just don't invite me for salad.

I was going to go the bathhouse tonight but I took a nap and slept longer than I thought I would so I guess I'll just stay in and continue watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding on HBO.

I SO relate to Toula ( I've seen this movie numerous times)

I WISH I HAD A DIFFERENT LIFE. I WISH I WAS BRAVER AND PRETTIER OR JUST HAPPY

I've been a top all my life (really not into bottoming, I've tried), but don't give "top vibes" and literally can't get laid even when I was younger and in good shape. Also, being a top without having a big dick is just a curse, nobody wants me to top them. They're all size queens. Or looking for more girth than I have. Or whatever. I'm average length (REAL average), and below average girth, and kind of a nerd, and a total introvert/wall-flower, so getting laid is not something that has happened to me at all since I turned 40 over 18 years ago. The only sex I've had is groping strippers, lap dances, and two escorts ... and even all THAT stopped about six years ago.

Thank god for internet porn I guess.

Just had any 63rd birthday. I'm single, in pretty good shape and even though I consider myself pretty sexual (usually jerk off once a day) It has been ages since I had sex - even though I would love to suck some nice hard cock, I don't feel like actually going out and looking for it - not into hooking-up and can't be bothered going to any of the sex parties. I'm a lazy fuck!

I have a good friend I'm quite fond of and find very attractive (don't know iff he feels the same about men) , but I can't imagine having sex with him - but I'd love an overnight smoochy snuggle and cuddle.

I meant to say "I don't know if he feels the same about ME."

Covid quarantine made me realize that I could go a year without having sex. And not getting any dick didn't kill me.

[quote] I'd love an overnight smoochy snuggle and cuddle.

Does that count as a relationship of sorts?

R141- What about a bathhouse?

I know a 70 yr old “little person” who LIVES to entice men on all the various apps. He smells, and is really creepy. Don’t let this saucy senior fool you! He REEKS!

R141- You've not had sex since ca. 2004?

I've not had sex with a mutual partner since 2008, and I've not had sex of any kind (including paid escorts) since about 2017. That was six years ago. It's been six years since I touched (or even fondled through clothing) a dick other than mine.

OP I haven't read thru this thread, but just judging from my own experience, you have another 20 years before you can say that.

R130

The person I responded to told OP to look on fetish sites. He was saying that OP should treat himself like a fetish. Unless your fetish is being fetishized, I think that's sad and sick.

R148- What about trying a bathhouse?

Do you have one near you?

I’m so happy. Orange Pudding gives me access to the tits and all below.

I was going to retire from sex and did for a while, but things didn't go as planned and I recently had to unretire from sex.

Got lucky on Grindr and hooked up a horny 22-year old frat kid this week. Two mornings in a row. I'm more than 2x his age (47).

Maybe I'll consider retiring at 50? As the kid said "Nah" it was "lit."

Yes, I get rejected/ignored more these days (Covid brought the grays out in my stubble more), but I don't need every guy to want me. Sex is too good.

R154- You go GURL!

I went on a vacation and was a whore so I’m out of retirement.

So is AIDS over? No one is wearing a condom and no one is getting sick and dying anymore.

Congrats, OP? 🏆

Pfffffft

Where did you go OP? Cambodia or Thailand?

Like anyone besides op gives a fuck

Op you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for you to make this announcement.

Not having all this pressure around sex is a joy of older age. What a fucking hassle.

I haven’t had sex in months. My husband’s sex drive is dead. He’s being treated for prostate cancer and he’s taking medication that blocks testosterone. Blocks mine too, apparently. I swear I’m so fucking horny that j came close to hitting in a couple of friends recently. One is a sexy married straight friend who might be receptive. He’s got s relaxed and accepting vibe that’s encouraging and the other is a married gay friend who I know would do it. His thighs are a turn on. He’s a talker and a bore so I can’t risk it. Oh, I love my husband and he’d understand but it’s too wounding!

R14- I was at a bathhouse a week ago Saturday and an attractive Top guy stopped at my door and said- Are you a Top or a Bottom?

Top I said.

His response was DAMN. I was flattered that a hot top would be interested in my 58 year old self even though I'm not a bottom.

My body no longer cooperates.

When it does, there isn't anything I can't do for myself.

I have an older friend who outlived his partner of 30 years. He's 76 and still having sex. Every few months I catch up with him it seems he has a new boyfriend. He calls them youngins but they are still 50 or 60 year olds. He has crushes on them, some move in etc. I will say he's very active, walks instead of drives if the store is only a mile or two down the road. He's tall, thin and has all his hair, but I would not say he's good looking, just has a lot of energy. He's not one of those daddy models or anything like that, just average at best and lucky to have a full head of hair. He has more sex than I do.

[quote]Oh, I love my husband and he’d understand but it’s too wounding!

Don't do it, you will break his heart even if he says he understands. Stick to porn, it's not the end of the world.

Got a facebook memory that reminded me that it's been ten years since I last had actual, mutual sex (with no money changing hands). Like, ten years since a guy hit on me, and I responded, and we ended up naked together making each other cum. I was a total one-afternoon-stand. But still. It was nice. But it was ten years ago.

I hired one escort about six years ago I think.

Outside of those two incidents, and a couple of stripper gropes between those two incidents, I haven't touch another man's cock since. And now, partially thanks to the pandemic, I've let myself go, become sedentary, and gotten so old, I couldn't actually have sex with anyone if I wanted to (and god, do I, my sex drive is HIGH, I jerk off several times a day without fail).

It sucks. I'm old. And frankly, at this point, knowing I'm never going to have sex with another man again, I just don't understand what the point of going on living is. It's all downhill from here, and I'm already in the sub-basement. Bleh.

My life sucks, has sucked, and will only get suckier from here on out. What I wouldn't give for a hot young stud to just let me jerk him off. But that ain't never going to happen.

R169-How old are you?

You say you let yourself go- Why can't you STOP letting yourself go and start taking walks every day and making changes to your diet- small steps at first are the most sustainable. You must be doing something right to have such a HIGH sex drive. I would describe my sex drive as medium.

I can't hire escorts. I can't get out of my head. I would be paying a guy to have sex with me who in real life wouldn't have anything to do with me. I can't shut that noise down.

Yet funnily, I have never had a better period in my sex life in my life. (I'll be 60 next year and I am not thin.) Yet somehow I had a six month relationship with a nice guy who was twenty years younger. He initiated it, I said life is short, and we had a good six months until distance killed it. I was his type. I didn't think I was anybody's type any more. Now I'm into something with a guy I have known for thirty years. I knew his (now dead) wife and his children and I never in thirty years saw a flicker of gay. But here we are.

I find the nature of good sex is changing. Gone is the power orgasm and pronathon gymnastics of the old days, in it's place is the same old sex acts tempered with a lot of affection and connection. It's different but OK.

look up everything that would naturally depress a man's sex drive and do those things. if you eat like shit and deprive yourself of vitamins maybe you won't think about it anymore.

I'm in my fifties and in a monogamous relationship, but even if I was single, my libido took a nosedive after 50. I'm OK with it.

I definitely miss it sometimes, and have fond memories of some of my escapades, but none of that equals "let me go somewhere and pull a train." I had my days at the trough and it was enough for me.

Lord have mercy guys. I'm 62 in NYC and have to bat them off with a stick, all ages. God knows I'm nothing to write home about either. I've had my better days too like OP. Just be yourself. Though I'll admit I don't have the energy to just drop everything and meet up anymore. Life gets in the way.

Your'e lucky, R174. Not many have ever been interested in me at any age, but at age 59, I'm completely unattractive to anyone, and only attracted to the unattainable anyway. I haven't had sex without paying for it in a decade. And I only paid for it the one time. So that's once in ten years.

I really deeply envy guys who can get (and take) cock any time they want.

I cannot. And my health and such is at the point where I literally can't have sex with anyone else. I can't really perform. My TMJ has gotten so bad unless they have a really thin dick I can't even suck them off. I can jerk them off and that's it. Who would want that, especially from a gargoyle like me?

I will die alone, and not having been touched in decades. I retired from sex without even realizing it. I wish I had known that one time I paid for it would be the last time. I would have tried to make it better. Because it wasn't that satisfying.

"I have some physical issues that make me particularly unappealing and which I can’t really change.". OP can you elaborate? We could offer some ideas to mitigate these?

OP Hit the bathhouse now and then.

R175- Who or what constitutes the UNattainable for you?

R175- You sound depressed. I've said this time and again-

There are a lot of depressed people on datalounge and in particular on this thread.

I’m 50 and am hitting the streets. Being a senior citizen sex worker is the only way I can buy toys for my grand babies.

I won't do Grindr or any app like it. Not into those apps at all. Even is it means not having sex.

I'm not having a total stranger show up at my door, nor will I be showing up at a stranger's door.

R181- Then go to a bathhouse. I don't like bringing strangers back to my place or going to some strangers place.

So if you met a stranger at a gay bar, you have never brought them home or gone to their place? R181?

[quote] I'm 62 in NYC and have to bat them off with a stick, all ages.

All ages, R174? Not just the 80-year-olds?

OP, R174 is an example of a bullshitter. Either that or he's George Clooney (and he isn't).

Or maybe R174 is just rich. Other than that--bullshit.

I didn’t retire from them, they retired from me.

Or maybe r174 see guys staring at him because he dresses like he's 22 and not 62, interpreting those glances as being cruised when they are really glances of disgust.

R141- I hear 👂 ya.

When most guys come into my room they leave the door open and check the goods first to see if I measure up before they suck me off.