Let's be a Pseudo Sophisticated Person

I'm telling people I am sophisticated

I am the Washington Post subscription

I am the large library full of books I have never read

Quoting Pinch’s latest thoughts at brunch

I’m drinking a turmeric oat milk latte from an Ethiopian fair trade coffee place, and I’m telling you about all of this.

I'm telling people I love classical music, but say "too many to count" when asked who my favorite composers and pieces are.

I only drink draft craft beer

[quote] turmeric

Oh dear

I’m only a pseudo-sophisticated person, R8. Spelling is not my fort.

Actually you spelt it correctly

I don’t WON’T own a television set…… so actually I NEVER know what anyone is talking about - except to be condescending and dismiss people with a wave of my hand - “I won’t own a television!”

I'm the New Yorker tote bag clutched tightly in a subway car reeking of vomit and piss.

What's your problem with NPR, OP? I suppose you get all your news from Facebook and USA Today?

R13 nothing, just a joke

I douche with cold pressed extra virgin olive oil.

I have candles that smell like Gwynnie's vagina.

I’m the national park bumper stickers on the back of the Subaru.

I’m the music taste: Patti Smith and Phish

NPR is great, and I love listening to it, but any time I've been in a crowd of their listeners, they act so self congratulatory about their supposed rarefied tastes. Invariably one of them will pipe up with, "Isn't it great to be around people who [italic]get it...[/italic] you know, who listen to NPR, and read books, and appreciate art, and world cuisine and...." Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "bitch, I had a bologna sandwich for lunch and I spent all last Sunday watching a Godzilla marathon."

Why are all the "sophisticated" people you're mocking Liberal stereotypes?

Are there no sophisticated Conservatives? Surely all Conservatives can't all be tasteless, uneducated "unsophisticated" rubes or hicks.

I’m the lamentations over no longer being able to pick up those delightful little bottles of bibbicafè from DeLaurenti down at the Pike Place Market.

Did you hear? They stopped carrying it! No one knows why.

I’m their Trans kid.

[quote] I'm the NPR subscription

You’re not pseudo-sophisticated. I’m the Granta subscription. I’M the real deal.

I practice the art of the fart silently to myself.

Have you guys not seen Jules et Jim yet?

R13. NPR is pretty annoying. Announcers with horrible voices. Cutesy stories and programs. Narrow range of coverage. It’s better than the commercial options, but it still leaves a lot to be desired.

R13 If you don't get the dig at NPR, then you are one of these pseudo sophisticated people we're discussing.

Op- You mean something that’s

Upper Middle Brow

I drive a Toyota Camry Hybrid

I'm the frau with the plastic key chain reproduction of Matisse's L'Atelier Rouge, which I bought for $17 at a museum gift shop. Aren't I chic? I also stream Tchaikovsky's Nutracker on low volume at my cube during the holidays, making you all freaking nuts. Tee-hee!

We only eat at expensive restaurants and haven’t touched fast food in 40 years due to health reasons. We also polish off 6 bottles of wine each night between us.

This thread

R19, this is almost verbatim what a friend of mine is constantly saying:

[quote]NPR is great, and I love listening to it, but any time I've been in a crowd of their listeners, they act so self congratulatory about their supposed rarefied tastes. Invariably one of them will pipe up with, "Isn't it great to be around people who get it... you know, who listen to NPR, and read books, and appreciate art, and world cuisine and...

I don't watch mainstream, popular movies. American cinema is too dumbed down with nothing but sequels, reboots, and superhero films. I prefer foreign, independent films.

I’m the prayer flags, the adopted black child, the mug of bone broth, the book of Pema Chodron with intact spine, all paraded on Instagram.

This band are total sellouts.. I prefer their early albums before they made it big and changed their sound to cater to the Top 40 listening lemmings.

There are other categories of the Pseudo-Sophisticated than NPR/New Yorker/Strand Books tote-carriers.

Go to my mom's house in suburban Houston and marvel at the sitting room of Capodimonte figurines and Faberge eggs and the guest bedroom of counterfeit LV-monogrammed sheets, curtains, bedside lampshade, all purchased from Filipina ladies doing QVC-like shows on Facebook live! I'd say that's pseudo-sophisticated too.

I'm the academic jargon sprinkled in everyday conversation

I slap people's faces viciously

My social media account is nothing but politics, and if you cared about anyone or anything other than yourself and your silly, shallow little life, yours would be, too! Silence is agreement with the oppressor!

I espouse the farm to table movement.

As a non-binary, trans, autistic (self diagnosis IS valid), bipolar POC, I think....

I’m smoking a cigar outside the rococo ballroom at moronalago.

I’m giving you a tour of my massive wine cave in my faux stone chalet. I brag about how much I paid for the top bottles, but am secretly naiseous as I’ve just learned that not all wines appreciate with age.

^nauseous

I am a bestselling author, a public speaker, former cohost of an Emmy Award-winning television show, a journalist, a political analyst and I am credentialed in art history. But what you really need to know about me is that I AM JOHN MCCAIN'S DAUGHTERRRRRRE ARRRRRRGGGGGGAAAAGGHHHHHHH!!!!

[quote] Are there no sophisticated Conservatives?

Um, no.

My children all have multiple behavior disorders that I’ve personally diagnosed them with. I know more than the doctors and school district because I’m a MAMA.

I’m checking with in since I was summoned.

I’m the Winters in Gstaad

I’m soda tax, organic salt, and musical instruments not tuned nor played since we started sourcing all our food within 100 miles of our overpriced home

I am the books by Proust in R3's library. I will never be read

NPR is the radio version of the New York Times-- parochial, prissy and myopic. I hate NPR.

I'm the coffee snob endlessly discussing the best way to make a cup.

R4

Pinch Sulzberger is no longer at The New York Times.

R44 and R45

nauseated

She was nauseated by the nauseous green color of the walls.

I’m the locally-sourced thimbleberries and hyssop-flavored crème fraiche on a gluten-free pastry. I’m expensive but still taste horrible.

I'm making sure that I see every Academy Award nominated movie and performance in main categories.

R58 I automatically love the ethnic performances

Let's be Pseudonomas!

Join me!

Anything that goes past my lips must be made from scratch and 100% organic! It’s soooo easy!

I brag about laughing at the people who subscribe to the Wall Street Journal.

They are getting the fake RINO news. They are pseudo-sophisticates

You're getting your stuff from OAN , TruthSocial and Qdrops, right, R62?

I live in Oak Park Illinois on the shitty side and constantly justify it to anyone who will listen.

Quoting CNN.

R45. Actually, you mean nauseated.

I view feminism through the lens of “Russian Doll” and “Fleabag.”

I assess and discuss, in all seriousness, the cultural value and impact of middlebrow pop culture products such as Marvel superhero movies, "Squid Game", and the likes of Taylor Swift or Beyonce.

I'm the Malcolm Gladwell and Freakanomics books conspicuously visible on the shelf. Let's throw in The Power Broker, too. And a Noguchi coffee table. I'm also ready to repeat whatever Thomas Friedman poured out of the blender today.

I’m the haute designer brands with no labels. Instantly recognized by the trained eye.

“A Bottega bag is a must!”

I'm Chloë Sevigny.

They don't make enough for a Noguchi.

OP, you used an adjectival phrase without a hyphen.

Oh, dear.

And Oh, dear for not know what that means.

I have no sophistication and don't play "ironic" social criticism by applying complicated terms for poseurs or boors or parvenu.

See, poseur?

[quote] Spelling is not my fort.

Oh, dear, r5.

[quote]Are there no sophisticated Conservatives? Surely all Conservatives can't all be tasteless, uneducated "unsophisticated" rubes or hicks.

A pseudo sophisticated Conservative tries to impress people by showing them their complete collection of the Harry Potter series.

The classical composer I give as my favorite is unrelated to any actual music, but was chosen because I think the name is difficult to pronounce.

Stealth deplorable thread.

The Koch brothers making pocket change contributions to the arts and medical research and having buildings and initiatives named after them as a result while they decimated the budgets of the NIH and NEA through sequestration. That to me is pseudo sophistication.

I am my brother, a racist, ‘fiscally conservative’ man who smokes Camels, listens to Miles Davis and has an abiding affection for William H Buckley.

I live in a little cottage in Montauk.

I am proud of my contradictions.

I'm all of the gluten free products that this upper middle class household consumes.

I'm the love of the Real Housewives

I want to be just like Lisa van der Pump

I am the McMansion. Or, if you're Betsy DeVos, thirteen McMansions.

I’m the Peter Max prints belonging to an elderly boomer. Not only am I hideous, I also didn’t pay for his retirement.

I sass around the public library like I own the place.

I'm OP. I'm intimidated by intellectuals, higher education and facts. I lash lout with childish threads to shit on intelligence, which is progressive and "woke" by nature. I don't even know WHAT "woke" or critical race theory is. I'm just regurgitating what my Fox News masters tell me. I'm a sad little puppet.

I’m R84 and I have misunderstood this thread.

I'm brittle, paranoid, and smug.

I wouldn't know self-deprecation if it was featured on "Word Matters," brought to you by New England Public Media™

I'm paranoid. Right wingers are out to get me.

I'm OP. I live in a trailer park and have missing meth teeth.

We need to keep an eye out for any stealth right wingers.

I'm not smart enough to think an original thought, I can be easily fooled with talking points if presented in the right tone.

I need to keep my pure, virginal mind free of naughty Republican thoughts.

I'm a free thinker, you know.

R82 off topic, but Peter Max is such a jerk IRL.

I'm the pseudo-intellectual's brittle and fragile self-esteem. I am mostly based on sneering at poor people and being delicately disgusted by the junk food I spy in other people's carts at Ralph's.

Americans are such pigs 🙄

R90 You met Peter Marx? Go on...

Over three decades ago my father (aging boomer who listens to NPR, but would never, ever refer to himself as a sophisticate, who does that?) traded a jukebox to Max for artwork, except while my father gave him a lovely Wurlitzer, Max gave excuses and no artwork to my Dad.

R93 Conniving cunt!

I must have missed the bit in OP where he said "self-described sophisticates". Oh, wait - he didn't.

I’m the trips to World Market for wine.

You can’t have “pseudo” without a false claim by someone R95. I am not sure who OP thinks is making the false claim if it isn’t the person him or herself.

I disagree. You can be a "pseudo-whatever" because you falsely believe that you're something you're not, even if you never actually put that label on it. There doesn't need to be an explicit claim.

You type pseudo, R95.

Let me rephrase then. My father would never consider himself a sophisticate, and would laugh at R98 for thinking that he might.

[quote]And Oh, dear for not know what that means.

Oh, dear, oh, dear R73.

Even perfect assholes fuck up.

Off topic, but ElderLez, your father is a Baby Boomer, but you're already an ElderLez???

My God—what does that make me?

Edwardian, R102

[quote] As a non-binary, trans, autistic (self diagnosis IS valid), bipolar POC, I think....

Replace “think” with “feel.”

LOL R102

As per DL standard anyone over 40 is an elder and I was well into the second half of that (now former) decade when I adopted the moniker.

Thank goodness we all look at least 20 years younger than our actual ages.

I spent 8 hours at a crafts fair with two other friends who love art. I bought a 30 pair of earrings because I love to support artists.

R106 This one 🤣

I'm about as tolerant as Whoopi Goldberg after a half gallon of gelato.

You know what I love? Rules.

Rules, rules, rules. There need to be more rules to follow, and stiffer penalties for not following rules.

Rules are sophisticated.

I'm the "Fine Art Fair" that is a heady, intellectually arousing mixture of oversized abstract acrylic paintings and oversized abstract glass art.

Everything purchased here is destined for the waiting area of some kind of office.

I’m the Village of Pittsford, NY, home of The Entitled and their Offspring. Never mind that I’m merely a suburb of Rochester. Repeat: a suburb of ROCHESTER.

Ey vaus foremore modull an furst laidee of Unihte Statse an Ey don cair due you?

I’m the double espresso I drink before the third viewing of TAR.

You forgot the "D" at the end of TAR.

I have read everything Roxanne Gay has ever written

I do anything besides roll my eyes at Roxane Gay's œuvre.

No one denigrates Our Lady….

As a sophisticated and enlightened insider who knows these things, I realize that there is a good location of a major retailer in a good neighborhood that the good people shop at... and a bad location of the same store in a gauche neighborhood that the Republicans shop at.

When I occasionally have to visit the bad Albertson's, you'll hear about the little differences in product selection I noticed and how fat and rude everyone there was. I was lucky they even had the sophisticated product I was there for!

I split everything in my life into an insider v. outsider dichotomy.

If you ain't in, you're out.

I’m a TED talk. My contents will be discussed during $200 farm-to-table dinners.

I'm the Tuscany destination wedding that is deadly feared and much talked about it for 4 years, like an election cycle: 2 years in dreaded anticipation of anything so gauche and self-absorbed (for the daughter of never mentioned cousin, or the poorly situated son of a dear former neighbor); and two years after to repeat, at some length, "that is was actually really beautiful in the end" and to plot aloud a un-wedding return to Tuscany.

"I had no idea Tuscany was that stunning."

Not knocking the thread but curious to know what WOULD make a person truly sophisticated.

R122 A truly sophisticated person likes "upscale/classy/sophisticated" things because they genuinely enjoy them. There is no pretention and they will not make others feel less for not liking their interests. For example:

They love opera, not because opera is supposed to be sophisticated, but because they LOVE the music, the story, the productions, etc.

The love Charles Dickens because they get lost in the characters and find him very witty.

The read NYT/WSJ/NPR because they honestly believe it is the most reliable and credible source.

Is there a distinction between pseudo-intellectuals and pseudo-sophisticates? NPR listeners who mistake themselves for retired UN diplomats and have libraries of books that they've never read would be (to me) an example of the former. But they also generally pretend to be above fashion and design.

Pseudo sophisticated people are epitomized by gala patrons at the Columbus Museum of Art who declare it "just as good as any museum in New York," while being unaware of anything art-related outside of those two reference points. They are flashy with their purchased fashion, alcohol, acquaintances, and design, without having any cultivated taste of their own. They also tend to look down on intellectuals as esoteric and dull.

Maybe it's a distinction without a difference.

I have been on three Ayahuasca retreats, and I am presently exploring the power and mental clarity afforded by sensory-deprivation stints in a hut in the woods. I eat clay, drink my pond water, and take my specially prepared Homeopathy inoculations seasonally. I feel my best when I fast so long, I begin to hallucinate.

All of this sophistication, and "inner-work" is tough on a Pro-Football player. Sheesh, people are already jealous of Quarterbacks, but now they are intimidated of how sophisticated I've become since spending so much time in California. They're even more jealous of my recent personal development, and they lack the capacity to understand my journey.

R122 it’s hard to define. Sophisticated people enjoy what they enjoy without trying to show off to others how rarefied their tastes are? The absence of smug?

I’m the door jamb to the yoga studio that’s being used to stub out a cigarette as the soon-to-be-more centered-than-the-rest-of-you participant enters 6 minutes late to class.

I'm the constant bantering about how I've "traveled internationally" even though my travels entail all-inclusive resorts in Mexico and the Caribbean and a very basic touristy trip to London. I don't speak any languages other than English. I suggest that I've been to more diverse international locales because I'm a travel journalism junkie and I often remark that a particular place is amazing - "Bali is amazing, "Morocco is amazing," "Moscow is amazing" - even though what I mean is that "X location LOOKS amazing."

"Not knocking the thread but curious to know what WOULD make a person truly sophisticated."

Maybe a decent education (formal and/or life); broad exposure to different people, places, ideas, experiences, culture, art; the ability to think critically; some wit and humor, including being able to laugh at oneself; experiencing and coming through difficult experiences (which often adds a layer to a person's views and beliefs), a general open-ended curiosity about the world around you - all without being smug, self-satisfied, patronizing, condescending to people, and dismissive of other people's experiences.

Pseudo--listens to NPR or watches CDC and takes all the anecdotes at face value; belives the centrist idiots who think we should be nice to fascists and listen to thei rpoint of view. Basically no depth of knowledge, and connects to elite media in a superficial way.

R124 really nails the provincial variant---I've been to the Columbus Museum of Art and it has to be one of the worst US art museums I've visited; not mearly overrated like the Detroit Museum or the High, but just awful. Clearly a reflection of a few donors poorly arranged. The Cleveland Museum of Art, up the road, is a great museum, the Cincinnati Museum, in the other direction is not great but has some nice pieces. Columbus is pathetic in relation to either one.

I’m the scarf worn indoors and the red framed eyeglasses.

Can’t wait to catch Grouper (Liz Harris, of course) at Mississippi Studios next July.

Oh man! I have a frau acquaintance who is the epitome of psuedo intellectualism. I wish I could simply link her Instagram. Alas, I'll just leave you with these gems...

•Black and white filtered photographs with the hashtags #moody #wanderings and the local postcode (zip code)

•Record of the Week, and musings on Bowie having been your favourite musician since you were a wee child

•Tagging your favourite cafe and record store and imploring your followers to "support local"

•Throwbacks to the trip to France, and the quaint little out of the way cafes and galleries that only a cultured non tourist would ever find

•Humble brag shots of freshly baked bread with the hashtag #italiansdoitbetter

•Reminder to subscribe to Triple R, and support local radio, including a declaration that you cannot abide listening to anything else and that you are tortured by commercial tunes during workhours when your plebeian colleagues choose which station to play.

•Early morning public transport shots, to signal that you care about the environment by mixing it up with the riff-raff by choosing to take the train.

•Updates about what you're growing in your Sky Farm (aka pot of herbs on the balcony of your overpriced apartment)

•The obligatory black tile on your feed because #blacklivesmatter

•Similarly, posts about Invasion Day and only referring to parts of the city by their Indigenous names because anything less is literal violence

•Funny candids of your cat, because cats!

Sorry, pseudo sophistication! Ignore my fat little digits above ^

Ugh, R133, I know exactly the kind of person you're talking about.

[quote]"Not knocking the thread but curious to know what WOULD make a person truly sophisticated."

I think a truly sophisticated person doesn't need to be pretentious because they have the emotional intelligence to understand that making yourself look better doesn't require looking down on others or throwing out signals that they are more enlightened that the unwashed masses.

That said, I'll guess that my relatives who never went to college consider me some pseudo sophisticated person because I've traveled internationally, have a job enabling me to work from home and live a certain suburban lifestyle.

I think the pseudo part of pseudo-sophisticated comes from having a narrow worldview and an inflated sense of one's own intelligence and worth.

Not understanding the limitations of a college education, taking marketing aimed at the upper middle class at face value instead of holding it in perspective, having disdain for people in other walks of life who are equally intelligent to you... marks of the pseudo-sophisticate.

I believed the constant brainwashing at my Liberal Arts college that I was a change maker, a free thinker, and a light shining for a better tomorrow.

I am semi-literate at best.

I am genuinely rattled by even mild criticism, as I am so unused to it.

I'm the pat phrases and parroted opinions that seem to arbitrarily appear out of the Ether at random times.

Where are they getting me from?

"I was reading this article in the Times..."

I'm Kombucha.

I'm the tasteful folk art portrait of Ruth Bader Ginsburg prominently displayed in the home.

I was purchased at an art fair or farmer's market.

I'm the "ecological statement" sculpture in the living room made of dirty plastic bottles and other trash. But I'm really just a pile of garbage in the living room.

Any and all personal flaws, ignorance, bigotry, or prejudice on my part are the fault of Republicans.

If you don't like me, you can take it up with them. Thank you.

I say "woke" about anything and everything I don't like, even though I have no idea what that means.

[Quote]Haha, that's not what "woke" means!

[QUOTE]That's not what "critical race theory" even IS!

[Quote]How could "Antifa" have done that? "Antifa" doesn't exist!

[Quote]Try defining "gender" if you want to criticize "gender theory!

Lame troll^. Sad.

We need to redefine x.

Let's normalize y.

America needs to reframe its understanding of z.

I'm a dedicated Fox News viewer.

We represent the best GOP minds. We are the Republican party.

We cut banking regulations while blaming diversity, inclusion and "wokeness" for the collapse of banks.

CPAC is our "think tank".

This thread has veered into a let’s be a vicious troglodyte.

We are tender to the touch and we are melting down.

I'm DeF4cto. Or DeFacto. I have defacto "facts".

[ R113 ] I'm the double espresso I drink before my third viewing of TAR.

And I'm the queen who corrects your spelling of TÁR.

R154 This is a taste of how it feels to live around me. I am blind to that fact 🦮🦯 😎

I have a better appointed kitchen than most Michelin starred restaurants.

So then I said to Woody Allen, “Well, Camus can do, but Sartre is smartre!”

I’m a Susan Sontag retrospective at the 92nd Street Y.

I love how one mild criticism of the left twiggers someone into making multiple posts about Republicans which are unrelated to the topic at hand. They probably thought it was sophisticated!

Aside from any obvious pretensions, void of any self-awareness, I think most of us can agree unanimously that anyone espousing really esoteric "knowledge" or woo beliefs most definitely qualifies as one of these particularly peculiar people.

See Aaron Rodgers @ R125

Glad you mentioned the Kombucha Cult R142... same shite. Anything remotely à la GOOP is a good proof whenever you're in doubt. Sorry, NOT sorry, you devotees of Homeopathy.

I’ll be Stanley Kubrick.

As long as it isn't hurting anyone or illegal, who cares whether someone listens to NPR or has a Noguchi coffee table? And who gets triggered by someone's design or reading preferences? The need to assume that people with divergent tastes are phony is rooted in insecurity. Take stock, get some therapy, enjoy your life and live and let live.

I'm the fiancee of the guy who spoke French to the counterman at Schrafts. Imagine anybody speaking French? to a counterman? at Shraaaaaafts?

Rt165, people laughing at pseuds are not "triggered". It genuinely sounds like you think that people who merely dare to laugh at you (you're clearly taking this personally) are mentally ill and need therapy.

That was for r165, of course.

The use of "triggered" tells me everything I need to know about R167. Enjoy watching Tucker while you eat that Banquet megabowl of Country Fried Chicken.

R169, I was quoting R165 and his use of "triggered". He said:

[quote]And who gets triggered by someone's design or reading preferences?

You stupid old man.

R170 you do have to admit that the first examples are oddly structured, almost as if the poster doesn’t understand that other people exist as independent entities.

I mean if OP had said “people who listen to NPR really loud with the windows open and the speakers pointed out so the neighbors can hear while watching tic tok inside.” that’d make more sense in supporting the pseudo claim. As written it reveals more about the OP’s psychological state.

The gays who listen to NPR are just insufferable. Like someone said before, self congratulatory.

Are there a lot of gays who listen to NPR? All the people I know who listen to it are hetero boomer hippies like my parents. It belongs in a list with Woodstock tickets and a compost pile.

NPR should have government funding cut off. Are we going to keep the culture of the 1970s on life support forever?

R171 It's a let's be thread, the point is to make jokes about attributes of a group that you've noticed. There are many smug NPR listeners. It's a noticeable trait among that group.

Will you stop being so fucking PARANOID and assuming people are out to get you, R170 and Elderlez? Jesus fucking CHRIST!

Sorry, it was R169, but the point stands goddammit!

See, I disagree about the Camry Hybrid. That seems like a fine choice. Like you're trying out being a better person. But you want to make sure your car works and is reliable like a Toyota,

I think Teslas are a lot more about virtue signaling or wealth signaling, or fitting in to a certain class. And yes, that could be a class of people so shallow that they don't really think about politics at all. These are the more conservative Pseudo-Sophisticates. They are just doing what they think they should be doing. Buying a Tesla. Shopping at Whole Foods. Sending your kid to private school in an area where the public schools are really good. Having all Tory Burch accessories. Yoga. A dog.

R136- I agree. Someone with actual sophistication surprises you with it unexpectedly. They don't show it off.

One must walk around with intellectual big dick energy. Not wave it around in the streets. As David Brooks (psuedo intellectual par excellence) might say, and never do.

R161- Come sit by me. 🤣

In the spirit of what this thread ought to be-

I am the person who just spent a fortune on Gucci perfume and Chanel loafers.

I'm "Liberty" "University". My title alone makes no sense.

I'm The Church. We fuck children. And get away with it. And we don't pay taxes. While supporting Conservative Politicians. Who fuck children.

I am the brittle, joyless liberals who wrongly consider their self-serving and incoherent worldview a mark of their enlightened superiority to others.

We are sincerely confused when we are not worshipped appropriately.

In 2020 I adopted Covid-19 as my lord and savior, hallowed be it's name!

I live by its very detailed and ever-changing holy law, speak its truth to the heathen, and long for the fiery glory of its justice upon the unrighteous!

The firmament shakes, the rivers cease, the mountains crumble at the power and glory of Covid 🙏

I am the brittle, joyless conservatives, who shove our childish, insane world view down everyone's throats. We follow the sky god, so bend over for us.

We are sincerely confused and worship 2000 year old bullshit inappropriately.

In 2020 I was threatened by the reality Covid-19.

Over 1 million Americans died, needlessly, but I couldn't give a shit.

It was more important to me to politicize normal safety precautions than to save American lives.

I'm still proud of my ignorance while I rot in the Storytime Hell I believe in.

I'm Chamber Music

I'm a conservative who trolls a Gay site. I'm stupid enough to think my nonsense propaganda will work here.

I'm DEF4CTO. You will never get rid of me. You will have to kill me to get me to stop. I'm insane.

I'm DEF4CTO.

I started this thread.

Like all my troll threads I become enraged when they don't go my way.

Then I go on to the next one.

Because I need a hit every few minutes.

I MUST have my ounce of flesh.

Sublimated aggression here. You likely know me by my incorrect popular name, passive aggression.

I'm a thing with these people. Trust me.

Sounds like projection. And passive aggressive.

I use "y'all" a lot.

Y'all are dramatic. I just wanted to have a fun thread

Who knew NPR could be so divisive

Ah- a post from some resentful probably right wing troll.

R182 and R185 doesn’t seem to understand the assignment.

I'm the ARSEHOLE who thinks his special "rules" are special.

^ sadly I am all out of FFs.

I'm the person who says you can't criticize a pseudo sophisticated organization of kid fuckers.

In the name of the father, his son who gets fucked, and the ghost full of holes. Ahhh. Men.

I'm trying to think about what I still actually listen to on NPR - that's nationally distributed. I was really into NPR in the 90s when I lived in Chicago, but it's faded. I still listen to Fresh Air - but only after seeing who the guest is and what the topic is. I'd estimate I listen to one-fourth of episodes. Before, I would normally just tune in and listen to most episodes. I still listen to those drive-time pieces that recap financial news or the news generally. And occasionally All Things Considered. That's mostly while in the car. Fresh Air is the only thing I really seek out. Dave Davies is much better than Terri Gross now.

OP hates NPR because it's nonprofit journalism for the people. It's straightforward independent news, something the right wing despises. It's as American as you can get, that's why they hate it. And now that everything has been hyperactively politicized, anyone who speaks truth must be attacked and silenced.

I'm the OP of the "Let’s be upper-class British people" thread.

I'm paranoid!

You wait 'til I make Noguchi coffee tables illegal in the State of Florida, R165

I’m the stacked coffee table books on the Noguchi.

R107, you really must meet R69. I'll bet the two of you have shared some of the same NPR "driveway moments."

I'm hot takes from NPR, the NYT or WaPo, or late-night hosts, repeated almost word-for-word without attribution, as if I'd thought of them myself.

I'm "spiritual, but not religious. But if I were any religion, I'd be Buddhist."

I'm pearl-clutching at the very idea of shopping at Walmart, and blanket condemnation of the toothless hillbillies and deplorables I imagine are their only customers. Yes, they're poor and can't afford better -- but they're the [italic]bad[italic] kind of poor, not the good kind like POCs and immigrants.

I'm a simultaneous devotion to Amazon, a house full of clothes and objects made in China, and an occasional "ironic" foray into Tar-zhay.

I'm a liberal and I am offended by conservative politics but I don't think about the daily doings of the rabble who follow those politicians, and I particularly don't care where they shop or how they eat. We're not a carbon copy of you with left politics; we're really fine with other people living their lives even if it's not how we would do it. Now shoo and direct your hatred elsewhere.

R210 Pseudo-Buddhists

I’m the biannual trip to Europe. Did you know American has nonstop service from Houston to Charles de Gaulle?

“My friend Julie and I went to feed the manatees in Fort Pierce while visiting my grandmother. We lost Granny, but Julie’s little dog survived.”

I only watch BBC sit-comss

I am pretty much anyone in a Woody Allen movie.

You disagree with me? You think I'm wrong?

How 'bout you stop what you're doing and write me a thesis explaining why? It better be full of specialized academic language that I'm familiar with or I WILL ignore it.

My response will be a detailed critique of how you used all of the academic terms incorrectly, so obviously you're too stupid to be engaging with me.

[quote] I'm telling people I love classical music, but say "too many to count" when asked who my favorite composers and pieces are.

Are your initials djt?

Asked in reference to the memory of the orange scheissgibbopn's response to being asked his favorite Bible verse and his response part of which included, "Two Corinthians...".

I'm a prominently displayed copy of "Becoming" by Michelle Obama. No one in the house has ever read me. Neither have any of the visitors, but when they spot it, this conversation always ensues:

"Oh, I love that book! Michelle is such an inspiration!"

"I know. And isn't she beautiful? I miss the Obamas!"

I’m a Thomas “Painter of Light” Kincaid reproduction with hand painted highlights.

Posts here differ on what level of sophistication is being aimed at.

OP: I hate what I imagine all liberals to be like. They eat funny food, use big words and make fun of regular people like me. So glad I've never met one.

But OP has. They're EVERYWHERE, sometimes lurking in the guise of an everyday normal person who doesn't look or act liberal or woke.

R219 I'm an irrational obsessive hatred of Donald Trump that none of them can seem to clearly explain or articulate. He has committed so many crimes! (?)

Trained behavior?

I'm some clickbaitish talking point gleaned from the NY Times or NPR, and spouted as if the spouter had thought of it themselves. (Let's say something like, "Your children will probably marry robots and have lab-grown offspring" or "white people drinking coffee is racist.")

I am also the utter shock when someone wants to discuss or debate this clickbaitish idea. I'm the irritation and anger that flows immediately when I'm asked a clarifying question or seemingly challenged in any way. There aren't supposed to be questions or discussions. It's [italic]supposed[italic] to go like this: Someone repeats something somewhat outlandish that they heard on approved media. The listener nods approvingly and agrees. Any deviation from that pattern results in uncomfortable discombobulation.

R226 You just reminded me of a creepy incident from college.

I was in a class where we were reading Molière, and our professor emphasized heavily that Molière was a genius- witty and subversive of class conventions. Ok cool.

Soon after, my mom visited and when telling her about my classes I mentioned we'd read a Molière play. She gave this big, heaving wistful sigh and and cooed "Molière, so witty and subversive." The phrasing was so creepily close, she fairly closely matched the tone of voice the professor had been speaking in in that class too.

I pressed her a little without pushing it too far, and I did not get the impression that she's ever seen or read anything by Molière. Where the fuck did that come from?

[quote]Woody Allen’s new movie is getting positive buzz. And it’s in French.

I rest my case.

I'm an atheist who blames war on religion.

I'm the PhD in theology.

I'm the person who can't believe that there are people who still believe Christianity.

I prefer my water "still."

I'm "There's something about Robert Altman's films that is so eminently watchable."

I'm Elderlez, veering right up to the line of getting openly pissy about this thread and then walking it back. Nice one OP, these threads don't always so neatly encourage all the exact people you're talking about to come out of the woodwork and identify themselves.

I wonder if the person who posted way upthread, angrily telling people we don't even know what critical race theory is, is an actual poster and not a troll? If it's an actual poster then well done OP. Ya bagged a fresh one.

The sophisticated hosts of FOX NEWS.

I'm a record player and a carefully curated record collection, because everything just sounds better on vinyl.

[quote] "So then I said to Woody Allen, “Well, Camus can do, but Sartre is smartre!”

You're adorable, R160.

Anyone who takes Jordan Peterson seriously.

Define “Woke”, go ahead!

Oh, was that last week? You mean people actually came up with definitions?

This thread started out fun and then became defensive and cranky. NPR has been skewed on DL several times for vocal fry.

I'm the casual references to Parisian cultural landmarks like the "Comedie Francaise." I'm the strongly implied suggestion that Paris is virtually a second home to me, and the humblebrags about attending Parisian theater.

I'm the total disregard of correct accents and punctuation for the Comédie-Française and every other landmark and French word that I drop, inadvertently revealing that I am not in the least at home in France, the French regard me with bemusement at best, and I have no idea what I'm watching in the Francophone theaters.

[quote]Let's be a Pseudo Sophisticated Person

Mirror mirror OP.

I'm the eagerness to believe whatever I'm told -- as long as it's from a source I deem righteous. I don't mind if what I'm told today contradicts what I was told yesterday. If the source is one of the good ones, I believe it 100%.

Sophisticated people may be wrong often, but they are curious and questioning and often skeptical.

The mark of the pseudo sophisticate is the uncritical parroting of opinions and recieved wisdom from sources they think are sophisticated.

skewed s/b skewered.

Jerry Falwell Jr. and his wife

Brainiac Rudy Giuliani

Antivaccine conservative hosts

I drink beer from a glass.

I think we're reaching at this point.

R243 wins the thread.

Not if he can't spell received. This is Datalounge.

No, R249, I too have also always wanted to be an intellectual, but then I see good shoes and our problems are solved.

Heck. I just like saying the word “pseudo.” It sounds so smart.

"Crypto" is a crank tell, though. It was a few years ago now that extreme right wing cranks started adding that prefix to many terms ("crypto-Christian" was often thrown at anyone to the left of Ayn Rand) and the left is doing it now, too. It doesn't make you look smart.

I’m the MFA in Creative Writing.