Dark green feces and unexplained bruises that appear out of nowhere

Too much grape soda.

Green beer and a poltergeist.

Your parasitic twin is attempting to break free.

Unexplained bruising is not something to mess with. I was covered in bruises for months, mostly below the waist but some around the torso (no, not party bruises). I just kept thinking," Something isn't right." Turns out I had no platelets because of a.bone marrow cancer that was causing my inability to produce blood.

Don't want to be overly dramatic but that was my experience. Discoloration in bowel movements can indicate GI issues.

You drink a lot of booze?

Mayo Clinic: Easy bruising sometimes indicates a serious underlying condition, such as a blood-clotting problem or a blood disease. See your health care provider if you: Have frequent, large bruises, especially if your bruises appear on your trunk, back or face or seem to develop for no known reasons.

Can I have your stuff?

You got anally raped by a Leprechaun. Happy St. Patrick's day!

Drunken hangover

Don't feed the troll. Her other "contribution" as an OP:

[quote]I was just diagnosed pre-diabetic. I can't believe it. I don't understand it. I'm 30 y.o., 5'8.5" and 135 pounds.

Well, you're seeking medical treatment over Datalounge, so clearly there are cognitive issues.

R11 speaks truth.

R11, she's pretending to seek a "diagnosis," which is worse.

But from the symptoms and especially the behavior, we all can see the OP is a zombie.

And apparently proud of it.

OP, do you take any form of iron?

Iron meds often turn bms dark green.

Have you been Touched by a Martian?

Have you been eating spinach or other dark, leafy greens lately?

Aspirin and some NSAIDs can cause bruising - also frequent consumption of alcohol.

Are your affairs in order?

I have that too.

Don't worry, maybe they're not yours.

Diagnosis: revolting troll

Did you get the jab, OP? It's the jab, killing you from the inside out. Here's what you need to do: go get some baking soda and Epsom salt to remove the radiation that has leeched into your body from the "vaccine". Put them into your bathwater for the next four months, diligently! Also purchase some bentonite clay. You'll be eating this as it will pull that poison right out of your body! Now lastly, every other bath, add a full cup of Borax soap powder to your bath. It will help kill the nanotechnology that B!ll G@tes put in the "vaccine".

If you do this, OP, you'll be feeling better real soon!

Was it a WAVE of dark green feces? Sounds like you're at the Bellagio for St. Patrick's day. Pick your cloth purse up off the floor!

But was it 'grape' grape, R1?

You’re clearly a hobbit bottom who’s been stealing leafy vegetables from farmer Maggot’s crop, tussling with his dogs, then nearly rolling off cliffs. Your slut trench is clean enough, you fool of a Took.

Kaposi’s sarcoma.

Liver issues can cause poop discoloration. Get your liver levels checked. Not sure about the bruising. Get yourself checked out!

Drinking alcohol, being anemic, malnutrition, vitamin B12 and other vitamin deficiencies such as vitamin c and vitamin K, and:

[quote] Even over-the-counter supplements such as garlic, ginkgo, ginseng and fish oil can inhibit normal platelet function and cause bruising

(Cleveland Clinic).

Take a look at your diet and habits.

A probable cause

I misread this as dark green faces, & assumed you were being haunted.

Everyone's poop is green on St Pat's Day, silly!

This is just OP's St. Patrick's Day lark, a bit of a prank and joke, let's all chill a bit, lads. Top of the Mornin to Ye from down here on Turty-Turd and Turd!

R10 oh we got a skinny bitch?

I hope you get better soon. Here is a database to check things out. Herbal remedies sold in health food stores can also be a major factor because they are unregulated.

If you don’t want it on your insurance request a test is a good option.

I drank 2 big glasses of Sonic's Ocean Water™ and my poop turned a bright blue 🔵

When I was a kid Boo Berry cereal would turn my shits a deep blue-green color.

I like blue (feces)

Eat the green until it comes out brown.

Like you usually do, OP.

Not enough warm semen shot straight up your ass!

OP I'm dealing with absorption issues in my small intestine. We don't yet know the cause, but I am telling you get to the doctor and get checked out. Tell them you want a full blood panel as part of any exam. I'm guessing you have vitamin deficiencies and a low red cell count, so probably anemia, but once they verify that, they have to find out what caused it. Do not procrastinate. Get moving.

R40 here. By absorption issues I mean that nutrients are not getting absorbed. The result can be vitamin deficiencies and iron deficiency and low red cell blood count. It means your body is doing the opposite of what it should.

Black licorice makes your poop bright green.

Green feces on St. Patrick's Day? I'm so proud of you!

R6 one of the unexplained bruises appeared on my eye area. It was the weirdest goddamn thing. It literally looked as if I had been punched in the eye (I hadn't).

R5 yes, I've had a chronic alcohol dependency issue for about 3 years

Red M&M’s turn your poop purple.

[quote]I've had a chronic alcohol dependency issue for about 3 years

Well, there you go:

You have synistic coprovert.

A flood of DARK GREEN FECES

The plague!

And I mean the REAL PLAGUE.

As in Black Death. Excuse me, I mean POC Death. 17th century style or for those real retros, 14th or 16th century style. Talk about your mid centuries.

Doo doo feces.

OP, stop procrastinating and get to a doctor. Something is wrong. Very wrong.

Have a dozen or so hot, fit, straight guys run a train on you and dump in you. Should clear this problem up.