Why didn't Mike and Carol Brady have a child together?
Sure, she had three and he had three coming into the marriage.
But it seems a bit strange they never had a kid together. She was obviously young enough since Cindy was only six at the start of the show.
Frankly, they should have introduced a baby, rather than have cousin Oliver join the cast.
by Anonymous | reply 83 | March 19, 2023 12:50 PM
|
Probably because Mike was a big mincing FAIRY
by Anonymous | reply 1 | March 17, 2023 4:10 AM
|
Because I never went near a vagina.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | March 17, 2023 4:10 AM
|
Because Mike was gay as hell.
by Anonymous | reply 3 | March 17, 2023 4:10 AM
|
She wld get aids and 💀 so that’s why
by Anonymous | reply 4 | March 17, 2023 4:10 AM
|
BRADYS DO NOT HAVE SEX. EVER. WITH ANYONE.
by Anonymous | reply 6 | March 17, 2023 4:14 AM
|
Mrs Brady was no spring chicken
by Anonymous | reply 7 | March 17, 2023 4:15 AM
|
One word: MENOPAUSE.
They were actually one of the first TV couples to be shown sleeping in the same bed; nevertheless, she was a whore and he was a poof.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | March 17, 2023 4:16 AM
|
Cousin Oliver was a LOVE CHILD!!!
by Anonymous | reply 9 | March 17, 2023 4:17 AM
|
Because it's SIX, you get eggroll. No upside to 7.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | March 17, 2023 4:18 AM
|
Mr. Brady saved his loads for Sam.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | March 17, 2023 4:18 AM
|
We may have been the first married couple shown on TV in the same bed, but as soon as the cameras stopped rolling I was out of there.
by Anonymous | reply 12 | March 17, 2023 4:18 AM
|
Because she had come down with a severe case of Wessonality.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | March 17, 2023 4:18 AM
|
Because he likes dick Rose!!
by Anonymous | reply 14 | March 17, 2023 4:20 AM
|
Because they already had SIX.
Three of which came out of her body.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | March 17, 2023 4:23 AM
|
Carol was riddled with syphilis from her nights as a truck stop whore.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | March 17, 2023 4:23 AM
|
I think Florence Henderson is greatly underrated.
The mention of Wessonality made me think of the best version of the Broadway tune...
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 17 | March 17, 2023 4:25 AM
|
Where would they put the baby in that tiny house? Maybe Greg's groovy attic could have been a nursery.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | March 17, 2023 4:29 AM
|
I think another child would have pushed Jan over the edge. I could see Jan turning into Lizzie Borden’s twin and she probably would have ended up committing Familicide.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | March 17, 2023 4:34 AM
|
Because Carol had her tubes tied in season two.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | March 17, 2023 4:35 AM
|
Carol incessantly pegging Mike does not lead to a baby.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | March 17, 2023 4:41 AM
|
Because the football that fucked up Marcia’s nose bounced off and destroyed Mike’s balls.
by Anonymous | reply 22 | March 17, 2023 4:41 AM
|
Carol Brady was a mercenary gold digger who cut off sex with Mike after she got that ring on her finger.
She was a wayward, peroxide widow about to hit the wall HARD. Her only concern was landing a successful businessman like Mr. Brady - one who’d give her 3 budding whores-in-training a legitimate name, and herself a wallet full of charge cards.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | March 17, 2023 5:03 AM
|
There was the episode when Carol believed she was pregnant, but she knew it was Greg's, so she asked Alice to make her a special herbal drink to take care of it. It did, but she also had the shits for days.
by Anonymous | reply 25 | March 17, 2023 5:10 AM
|
Even tho Mike was a notorious Pussyhound, Carol had a lot of headaches.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | March 17, 2023 5:14 AM
|
Because he was an architect, & everyone knows architects loathe fucking.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | March 17, 2023 5:20 AM
|
Carol was one of the most talented housewives ever. She also had a lot of pain and struggle throughout her life. Despite that, she had a good heart, which is hard to encounter in suburbia. At a time when gay people were oppressed beyond belief, they identified with her struggles and she theirs.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | March 17, 2023 5:31 AM
|
Alice kicked Carol in the cunt bone causing Carol to be infertile. Damn you, Alice!
by Anonymous | reply 29 | March 17, 2023 5:39 AM
|
Apparently they both secretly hated children.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | March 17, 2023 5:54 AM
|
Mike hated that ridiculous neck flip hairdo Carol got and refused to touch her after that.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | March 17, 2023 5:57 AM
|
It was the 70s.
Carol and Mike were swingers.
And somehow Mike always ended up getting another guy's key out of the bowl.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | March 17, 2023 6:12 AM
|
I’ve discovered through extensive research they were not the first tv couple to share a bed.
by Anonymous | reply 35 | March 17, 2023 6:12 AM
|
Didn't Darin and Samantha share a bed?
by Anonymous | reply 37 | March 17, 2023 6:17 AM
|
Almost universally introduction of an infant spoils sitcoms. Those that start out with kids are a different story as things are usually built with them as part of ensemble cast.
Babies take focus off main ensemble cast; sometimes it works out well, others not so much.
At their stage of life both Mike and Carol had "been there" and "done that" in terms of pregnancy and having a baby. Both Mike and Carol Brady went from having just three children to six; combining step relations isn't always easy and last thing anyone needed was another kid.
Besides where were they going to put the nursery? That house already defied belief in that three boys and three girls shared that one small joint bathroom. IIRC the master bedroom was on ground floor and Alice had the only other bedroom off the kitchen (maid's room).
by Anonymous | reply 38 | March 17, 2023 6:36 AM
|
In the final episode, that was deemed too controversial to air, Carol announced to Mike that she was pregnant with Greg's baby and was moving up to the attic to raise the child with her new man, while Jan revealed she had legally changed her name to Dawn and was moving to Hollywood, and Alice finally snapped and beat Thindy quite viciously with a harvest gold fondue pot.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | March 17, 2023 6:49 AM
|
Despite Mike being a Gayey McGayerson from Gaytown, he and Carol had a really nice chemistry. I have no doubt that they could've produced crotch fruit. Even if Alice had to get out the turkey baster and squirt Mike's splooge up Carol's va-jay-jay. It could've even been one of Bobby or Cindy's science club experiments.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | March 17, 2023 6:55 AM
|
Carol had a botched abortion to rid her self of Peter’s baby. She could never get pregnant again. Good news for Peter was that he could spew his load in her without any worries. Even better news is that Carol could ride that prepubescent cock without ever getting caught.
She was a lucky bitch.
by Anonymous | reply 41 | March 17, 2023 6:56 AM
|
If the show had been renewed for a sixth season, they were going to reveal that Alice was the birth mother of Cousin Oliver and Mike was the father.
by Anonymous | reply 42 | March 17, 2023 6:56 AM
|
If the show had survived to a seventh season, Alice was going to move to Michigan with Aunt Jenny for a lesbianic spin-off.
by Anonymous | reply 43 | March 17, 2023 7:02 AM
|
^ Ahem, I would've been Alice's lezbo lover, not that hussy Aunt Jenny.
by Anonymous | reply 44 | March 17, 2023 7:42 AM
|
On top of all the factors r38 mentioned, wasn't Carol's the first generation of women to fully enjoy the benefits oral contraception? She must have been around 40 at the show's start, with three daughters of her own and adding three rambunctious boys. What woman in her right mind would want another?
by Anonymous | reply 46 | March 17, 2023 9:01 AM
|
Mike Brady must have been one damn good architect.
He had that large house, six kids, two cars and wife that didn't work, oh an a maid who barely worked either.
by Anonymous | reply 47 | March 17, 2023 9:43 AM
|
Florence Henderson's death was a shock to me (long time ago). She always looked great and was vital up 'till the end.
by Anonymous | reply 48 | March 17, 2023 11:32 AM
|
Large house, R47? 6 kids shoved into 2 bedrooms with one bathroom for all of them to share? Alice's room was probably just a storage closet.
I think Mike sucked as an architect, personally. The house would be fine for a typical nuclear family with 2 kids, but not for that brood.
by Anonymous | reply 49 | March 17, 2023 12:01 PM
|
They had six bratty kids. They didn't want any more. Carol was on the pill and they were swingers. Also they brought in Cousin Oliver.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | March 17, 2023 12:05 PM
|
[quote]Alice was going to move to Michigan with Aunt Jenny for a lesbianic spin-off.
So, the spin-off would have been about Alice along with Aunt Jenny and/or Kay founding the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival?
Complete with cilantro, nutloaf, vagina capes and telling us now so they don't have to tell us then?
by Anonymous | reply 51 | March 18, 2023 12:32 AM
|
A tie breaker vote would have made the kid meetings more interesting.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | March 18, 2023 12:36 AM
|
Because Sam the Butcher was banging Carol, and Mike was bottoming for Alice...duhhh?!!!
by Anonymous | reply 54 | March 18, 2023 1:31 AM
|
With three kids, Carol obviously started out fertile. She probably had a botched abortion while on the dating scene following Hubby No. 1’s death and that rendered her barren.
by Anonymous | reply 55 | March 18, 2023 1:33 AM
|
He found out she was banging Greg.
by Anonymous | reply 56 | March 18, 2023 1:33 AM
|
Once Carol started getting those deep-'n'-tender massages from Alice, she quit thinking about another child with Mike.
by Anonymous | reply 57 | March 18, 2023 1:35 AM
|
^^ If their show had managed to survive to a 7th season, I assume it would've also had to make it to the 6th season that it never actually got around to ever having. ;)
by Anonymous | reply 58 | March 18, 2023 1:38 AM
|
R42 I am only picturing her with a cursory swipe of a featherduster.
by Anonymous | reply 59 | March 18, 2023 1:38 AM
|
He only fucked her up the butt.
by Anonymous | reply 60 | March 18, 2023 1:39 AM
|
Carol would often bring random guys home from the mall to cuckhold Mike. He'd sit in a corner of the bedroom just watching and beating off. Looking at the other guy really turned Mike on, so this was win-win.
by Anonymous | reply 61 | March 18, 2023 1:41 AM
|
There was an episode in the 1st season where Carol gets an emergency hysterectomy. She nearly dies. Then she has a long talk w Jan about genetic predispositions to infertility. Alice overhears and offers to be a surrogate. She and Mister Brady have sex, off camera, of course. Alice too proves to be infertile. Very touching.
by Anonymous | reply 62 | March 18, 2023 1:54 AM
|
Really observant Brady Bunch viewers have catalogued several episodes where Mike bends down for some reason, and you see the top of his lacy panties or a thong.
by Anonymous | reply 63 | March 18, 2023 1:59 AM
|
[quote]So, the spin-off would have been about Alice along with Aunt Jenny and/or Kay founding the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival?Complete with cilantro, nutloaf, vagina capes and telling us now so they don't have to tell us then?
Yes, and a crossover episode where the Bradys come to visit, and the four males are killed in a "Man on the Land" massacre, which prompts Carol and the girls to flee in horror, except for Jan, who says "I feel at home here" and takes to the stage to perform a Janis Ian medley.
by Anonymous | reply 64 | March 18, 2023 2:31 AM
|
He weren’t dumping loads up in herrrre
by Anonymous | reply 65 | March 18, 2023 2:34 AM
|
Why didn’t the girls keep their father’s surname?
by Anonymous | reply 66 | March 18, 2023 2:36 AM
|
Mike was sterile with Carol.
by Anonymous | reply 67 | March 18, 2023 2:37 AM
|
The network probably suggested it (them having a baby)--in those days, they were always trying to add weddings and babies to shows when the ratings began to slide. They's laready had a wedding and Cousin Oliver was probably a compromise. The Brady Bunch was never a top 10 show, but muddled along, so the network may not have been so pushy.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | March 18, 2023 2:44 AM
|
"Why didn't Mike and Carol Brady have a child together?"
Mike had a nary urethra.
by Anonymous | reply 69 | March 18, 2023 3:05 AM
|
Because Carol didn't have a great track record when it came to the babies she birthed.
Jan was psychotic. Cindy was borderline retarded.
Only Marcia was relatively normal.
When it comes to odds like that, why risk it?
by Anonymous | reply 70 | March 18, 2023 3:11 AM
|
R66 Carol's first husband transitioned after which she herself opted to take her new husband's surname, so Carol thought it best for the girls to go with "Brady" after she married Mike.
by Anonymous | reply 71 | March 18, 2023 3:23 AM
|
Jan was the by-product of Aunt Jenny's one heterosexual liaison but I raised her as my own, and Cindy was a FAS rescue baby I found in a milk crate at the side of the freeway. Only Marcia was the true fruit of my loins.
by Anonymous | reply 72 | March 18, 2023 3:23 AM
|
JFC, six kids sharing one bathroom with no toilet! There was no more room at the inn for another babby.
by Anonymous | reply 73 | March 18, 2023 3:38 AM
|
Carol's constant farting in bed destroyed our sex life before it began.
by Anonymous | reply 74 | March 18, 2023 6:08 AM
|
Mike was too gay. That’s why she went after Gregg. She wrote that boy like her life depended on it and Florence Henderson didn’t need Wessonalitu to ride Barry Williams for real.
by Anonymous | reply 75 | March 18, 2023 6:24 AM
|
I saw a Celebrity Wife Swap episode with Greg (forget his real name at the moment). He was weirdly super controlling and stressed about little stuff even though he was never a big star.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | March 18, 2023 6:31 AM
|
We can probably assume Mike was having issues in the bedroom, because we heard more than once that he was seeing some kind urologist in the Griffith Park area where he was going for regular prostate exams. Recall, Carol and the kids almost saw Mike driving on Franklin Ave. when they happened to go shopping at the old Mayfair Market at Bronson. I think there may have been another guy in the car with Mike wearing a tank top.
by Anonymous | reply 77 | March 18, 2023 7:10 AM
|
Carol was briefly pregnant in season 2, but Jan pushed her down the stairs and hit her with the horse statue. It's on the DVD extras.
by Anonymous | reply 79 | March 19, 2023 3:07 AM
|
Actually, one of the season five episodes had Marcia get pregnant with Greg's baby.
Carol took Marcia off to Abortion Hut at the mall. Carol, who was also pregnant by Greg at the time, got a mother-daughter special for the two of them.
Since they saved so much money on the procedures, afterward the two went shipping at the Bullock's department store next to the Abortion Hut. Marcia came home with a groovy new fringe vest, which she still refers to as her "abortion vest."
Meanwhile, Carol got some new bell bottoms and a new flip do at the Bullock's hair salon.
by Anonymous | reply 80 | March 19, 2023 3:38 AM
|
It's highly unlikely that Mike was even Greg, Peter, and Bobby's biological father - with the first wife resorting to other means to satisfy her carnal needs and have children.
And Mike would have been okay with this, because it solidified his straight image as a prolific breeder. This would also tie into him pushing to have the three girls take his surname as well.
by Anonymous | reply 81 | March 19, 2023 7:06 AM
|
A nervous Mike embarking on his disastrous first honeymoon, when his new wife quickly learned that she would have to look outside their fledging marriage for a fuck buddy and baby daddy (or three).
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 82 | March 19, 2023 7:15 AM
|
R80 A visibly pregnant Marcia spills the beans in a still from the special episode titled “A Very Brady Abortion.”
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 83 | March 19, 2023 12:50 PM
|