Songs ruined by one bad line

2 from Lady Gaga:

"Uranus. Don't you know my ass is famous?"

"Judas kiss me if offenced or wear ear condom next time."

"Only time will tell if we stand the test of time."

How can I save my little boy /From Oppenheimer’s deadly toy?

Jeremy by Pearl Jam "And bit the recess lady's breast"

Sweden's 2014 Eurovision song is glorious... and then she says "undo my sad" and it's the mother of all needle scratches.

[quote] “Her placenta falls to the floor” pretty much killed Lightning Crashes for me.

Even without the "placenta" line, the song is killed by the title. Lightning doesn't crash. Thunder crashes.

"King's Dead" by Kendrick Lamar, Jay Rock, and Future

The line: "La di da di da. Slob on mi knob. Pass me some syrup. Fuck me in the car. La di da di da. Motherfuck the law. Chitty chitty bang. Murder everything."

It's not just the line, it's the way Future delivers it that makes it even more ridiculous/hilarious. It completely took me out of the song the first time I heard it. My immediate reaction was a stern, "WTF??"

It's around the 1:40 mark.

“And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket”

Dear one, I don’t miss you inside me.

"Bouncing around bouncing around, bouncing."

Neil diamond: “songs you sang to me, songs you BRANG to me…”

R4 That line gave me nightmares.

The “suckin’ on a chili dog” line from Jack & Diane is gross.

From "Sometimes It Be That Way," by Jewel:

While playing the guitar she sings, "Night has many hands, but I have just one."

Why do you only have one hand? And how are you playing the guitar with only one hand?

Is she talking about playing poker?

"Came the telegram, Mama passed away while making homemade jam". Actually the whole song "I'm Living in shame" is a shit show but this infamous line sinks it lower. It's been called "the messiest death in rock an Roll History"

Cher's bizarre mismatch of lyrics and melody in "Believe."

Throw mama from the train…a kiss.

OP, did you have a problem with “the calliope crashed to the ground,” as well?

I don’t agree with OP at all.

“Did you come here to play Jesus to all the lepers in your head?”

It’s a terrible song but that line is just so, so, so terrible that it deserves a special shout out for taking a terrible song and making it unlistenable

I know it’s cheesy, but I love the song “If” from the Diana musical. I initially had a problem with the line about has she was excited to “stand in a queue again,” but that’s based upon something she actually said.

What broke my heart and changed the feel of the song was learning that what I thought was “Alight the world,” about going off, starting over and setting the world on fire, was really “I’ll light the world,” which is much more narcissistic about being a bight beacon for the world instead.

“How do I get back there,

To the place I fell asleep inside you.”

Has always made me a bit queasy, in a song I otherwise love lyrically for it brilliant play of words and metaphors.

Well, smell YOU, R20.

I love New York, other cities make me feel like a dork

Totally agree about "Sucking on a chili dog, outside the tasty freeze....."

My mom got incensed about Jewel's "I break the yolk and make a smiley face." ("I kind of like it in my brand new place.) Mom said: what kind of song is this? I could write this kind of song.

R27, that's a great example!

Pretty much every word of Drops of Jupiter is cringe-inducing, but here are some of the worst.

She checks out Mozart while she does Tae-Bo Reminds me that there's a room to grow, hey, yeah

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken Your best friend always sticking up for you Even when I know you're wrong? Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance Five hour phone conversation The best soy latte that you ever had, and me?

R11, while we're talking Neil Diamond:

"I am, I said

To no one there

And no one heard at all, not even the chair."

It sucks when even your patented Hearz-It-AllⓇ Sentient Chair doesn't listen to you.

What's wrong with talking to a chair?

"I'm serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer".

I like to singy singy singy

Like a bird

on a wingy wingy wingy

r16: That line made me wonder if someone managed to save the jam from boiling over.

I didn't realize Neil Diamond had so many bad lyrics.

I just thought of a bad lyric the other day, on par with, "Only time will tell if we stand the test of time." I have forgotten it. Dammit!

"Weaker than a dying child. Anger, like a murdered child." Kimara Lovelace - "Misery"

People are out dancing in the club. What a fucking downer.

Great track. Terrible lyrics.

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of

"Now there's two less lonely people in the world" (Air Supply 80s hit)

I think this is supposed to mean "two fewer lonely people in the world." Or does it mean two less-lonely people in the world -- they were very lonely before, but now they're only a little lonely?

I hate that this ambiguity irritates me, and I also hate that I even waste half a brain cell on this shitty song.

R38, it means that the singer has found someone to keep him company. The singer was lonely and so was that Special Someone. Now that the singer and that Special Someone have found each other, neither are lonely. Hence, two fewer, or less, lonely people (or persons) in the world.

Are you strong enough to be my man. Lie to me. I promise I’ll believe. Lie to me, but please don’t leave.

Just who sounds like the weak one here?

R39 So they meant 'two fewer' and got it wrong. Now they sound a little less lonely than they were before.

Carly has some wonderfully bad lines: You had one eye in the mirror, as you watched yourself gavotte

Barbara Cook wanted to sing Don McLean's "Vincent" but didn't because she hated the line, "The world was never meant for one as beautiful as you."

“I walk without a cut

Through a stained glass wall.”

However did Don McLean do without the $4.63 he would have gotten in royalties from Babs' version?

"You ask me if I known love And what it's like to sing songs in the rain Well, I've seen love come And I've seen it shot down I've seen it die in vain"

Jon Bon Jovi (Blaze of Glory), makes me laugh every time I hear it.

"Yeahuuuh … [some expletives] … WOOOOOWHEEEEE"

Jay Z in Mariah Carey’s Heartbreaker.

Breakfast at Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something

And I said "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"

She said, "I think I remember that film

And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it."

[bold] And I said "Well, that's the one thing we've got." [/bold]

God awful song, but the conclusion to the chorus is another level of idiotic.

You both "kind of liked" the same movie? Yeah, you can hang a relationship on that.

[quote]You had one eye in the mirror, as you watched yourself gavotte

Well I'll be. This belongs on the misheard lyrics thread, but my whole life I thought the lyric was:

You had one eye in the mirror, as you watched yourself go by it.

R4 Never knew what that line means.

A lot of these songs suck with or without the mentioned lines. Live, Third Eye Blind, Bon Jovi, Train, Air Supply? What are you guys smoking?

I like the song “For You” by Bruce Springsteen, but I hate hate hate the line “who am I to ask you to lick my sores?” Gross, ruins the song for me. Shame, because there’s so many good lyrics in that song.

‘Something heavy like a first day period’

Gross.

This being the same Janet who back in 93 made a comment about being different from Madonna because what she did ‘has class’.

Speaking of Springsteen:

[quote] You ain't a beauty, but hey you're alright.

(Thunder Road.) That's something you can have an inner "dialogue" about, but that's supposedly spoken out loud while you're trying to get laid.

The very first line of "Evergreen" - Love, soft as an easy chair.......- having an easy chair thrown in always struck me as unintentionally humorous and bad song writing. And to think Babs helped to write this mess.

[quote]Concrete jungle where dreams are made of

That line fucking makes me want to scream. Like there was NO OTHER one-syllable word that would have worked.

R.E.M.’s “You Are the Everything is impeccably gotgeous except for this one line:

“And you're drifting off to sleep with your teeth in your mouth.”

What, as opposed to in a jar on the nightstand?

Gorgeous, not gotgeous.

Someone left the cake out in the rain

Shakira’s ‘whenever wherever’ is a catchy song, but this line is so dumb: “Luckily my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains.”

"All you need is love" in "All You Need Is Love."

R21

I think One is a beautiful song (that line is horrible) if you look at it in the context of a relationship ending.

"Say a little prayer for I" NO

I love Kate Bush but “I pine a lot, I find the lot, falls through without you” in Wurthering Heights needs a rethink.

Also “Respectfully I say to thee, I’m aware that you’re cheating” in Upside Down bugs me. Why is there Elizabethan English in there? It’s not like Shakespeare wrote it.

"She's giving me excitations" from the Beach Boys "Good Vibrations"

r64, totally agree about Upside Down. When I first heard "Respectfully I say to thee" I was wondering if Diana had turned Amish or something

Paula Abdul, "Blowing Kisses in the Wind":

I'm only wishing you'd

Love me like I

"Love is a lecture on how to correct your mistakes."

— Stephen Joshua Sondheim

R64 - agree! When singers start putting ‘thee’ into songs it always sounds awkward and like bad writing.

I don’t mind the Kate Bush one as much but you reminded me of a guy I used to work with who hated that line too. Your name isn’t Neil by any chance, is it? Hehe.

In “Beautiful Stranger” I always get second hand embarrassment from the line: “You’re the devil in disguise, that’s why I’m singing this song.” It’s very awkward and doesn’t really make sense.

I never like it when the lyrics refer to singing the song that you are listening to.

I will grant an exception to the Madonna/Prince duet Love Song, also Bye Bye Baby, which references back to it, but other than that, no.

It's like when the book that you are reading references the fact that you are reading it.

I feel so dirty when they start talkin’ cute,

I want to tell her that I love her but the point is rather moot

Jessie’s Girl

“They lived and they died, they preyed to their gods, but the stone gods did not make a sow-ow-ow-nd…”

- All This Time by Sting

^prayed

[quote] I never like it when the lyrics refer to singing the song that you are listening to.

"Didn't quite hit the note. That wasn't such a good time."

“Don’t you wanna dance, say you wanna dance… with somebody who loves ME?!”- Whitney, I Wanna Dance With Somebody

Why would I wanna dance with somebody who loves HER?

R64 beat me to it, darn! I love Upside Down but the “thee” shit is ridiculous.

Hunting the horny back toad

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road is such a perfect song, but I was shocked when I looked up the lyrics here. Mary!

Jeremiah was a BULLfrog! Was a good friend of mine!

I hate that so much.

R71 Haha. Good one - the first line is so sexy but is ruined by the awkward attempt to find a rhyming word. Ridiculous.

Wanna Be Starting Somethin’ I mean - I get what he’s trying to say here but if you don’t know all the lines, it’s just silly.

You're a vegetable, you're a vegetable Still they hate you, you're a vegetable You're just a buffet, you're a vegetable They eat off of you, you're a vegetable

R77 Good one! That line totally takes me out of the song.

"Nobody does it half as [italic]good[/italic] as you" in Carly Simon's "Nobody Does It Better" always sends the needle screeching across the record.

Wouldn't Carole Bayer Sager let you change it to "Nobody does it half as [italic]well[/italic] as you"? It wouldn't have changed anything as far as meaning or rhyme goes, Carly, so WTF?

R57 Great example. You Are The Everything is probably my favorite R.E.M. song, but that line is so stupid. Even Michael Stipe said he regrets writing it.

“Just like a rainbow, you know you set me free.”

Joni Mitchell's "Furry Sings The Blues"

"WC Handy, I'm rich and I'm fey / And I'm not familiar with what you play"

I always thought that Diana Ross's "thee" was a reflection of southern black preacher bible talk, not an attempt to imitate Shakespeare's sonnets or whatever.

Allentown by Billy Joel "...So the graduations hang on the wall"

Of course, he meant diplomas but that didn't fit well.

I love "the graduations hang on the wall." I'd like to think there's still a place for metonymy in our lyric idiom.

R8 I don't think that's too bad, it's a decent metaphor for leaving behind something that once made you feel safe

Sting wrote many awkward lyrics.

“He starts to shake and cough, just like the old man in that book by Nabokov”

“Hey there mighty brontosaurus! Don’t you have a lesson for us?”

"You're a vegetable."

It's more than just one line, but what the hell does this mean "I'm pining for the moon And what if there were two Side by side in orbit Around the fairest sun"? Another otherwise great REM song.

The first time I heard "Formation," I liked it for the line, "Earned all this money but they never take the country off me," which seemed to be a semi-provocative statement merging black feminism and anti-capitalism in a pop song. I lost interest once I read the real lyrics.

“just I and my friend” 😩

R54, thank you. That line made me really dislike Bruce Springstein, and I am from New Jersey. It's a horrible thing to say to someone.

This is a fantastic thread.

Say I look nice when I'm not

I'm a Doors fan but so many of their potentially great songs are wrecked by Morrison's terrible lyrics. From "Not to Touch the Earth":

[italic]Dead president's corpse in the driver's car

[italic]The engine runs on glue and tar

As opposed to a live president's corpse in a self-driving car? I wasn't there, but did this shit pass as profound in the 60s?

Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay Were laid spread out before me as her body once did

Some good lines in the song but the opening lines are awkward and sound even worse when sung. It sounds like "legs spread out before me".

She’s not me She doesn’t have my name

Lazy lyric and Kinda the point since he dumped you for her

"Cry Me a River" is a good song until it goes sophomore English pretentious: "Told me love was too plebian!"

(A bad lyric made even worse when Barbra doesn't realize that the rhyme is with "me an'" not "me aaaaaaaaaaand")

I think it's a MC Hammer song that rhyme love with "going out to buy dove"

I DETEST;

Papa Don't Preach I'm in Trouble, Deep.

Horrible lyrics when you can't even get English right

OP is a fat fag hag

R103 bathes with a rag on a stick

R94, what's grammatically wrong with “just I and my friend” in apposition to the subject of the verb? It's not like Jim Morrison's “for you and I.”

[quote] It sounds like "legs spread out before me".

I thought that was the real lyric.

[quote] Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay Were laid spread out before me as her body once did

Art major here. Canvas is sold in rolls or sheets, I guess. Usually, you'd staple or nail the canvas onto a frame or "stretcher bars" before you start painting. You just call it your "canvas."

Clay is sold in blocks, not sheets, though, I think.

The first two that always come to mind are by Rick James.

In "Deja Vu (I've Been Here Before)" a song he wrote for Teena Marie to sing on her first album, there's the line:

"Once I was a white gazelle, on horseback riding free..."

The song is gorgeous, and I never gave the lyric a second thought, until one day I did. A gazelle riding on the back of a horse? Seriously? And nobody intervened and told him that a gazelle couldn't ride horseback even if it wanted to? Totally takes me out of the song every time I hear it now. Now I'm always trying to picture just how the fuck the gazelle would ride horseback...

The other one is from "Fire and Desire", perhaps THE quintessential R&B love duet of the 80's, which he also recorded with Teena. The song features several long spoken sections, one of which has Rick stating to Teena "since you've been gone, I don't think I've ever felt this way before". Again, was everybody just too high, or were they too intimidated by Rick's craziness to mention that this lyric makes no sense?

I like to singy singy singy like a bird on the wingy wingy wingy -Madonna, Impressive Instant

R101- It's "out buying dub" (from "Have You Seen Her?"), but I heard it as "dove," too, for the longest time.

'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain

A couple of songs with hilariously mundane lyrics:

Ring My Bell:

[quote] Well lay back and relax, While I put away the dishes (put away the dishes)

One Less Bell to Answer:

[quote] One less bell to answer. One less egg to fry ...

When I played Joni's Cold Blue Steel for him, my brother exclaimed "That's disgusting" when she sang "red water in the bathroom sink, fever in the scum-brown bowl".

R112 That is an amazing song. As close to poetry as song lyrics get.

When Joni sings "Blue Steel still begging, But it's indistinct"

I thought she sang "But it's Ernestine."

And I wondered who is that? The telephone operator?

"Spring was never waiting for us, boy It ran one step ahead As we followed in the dance Between the parted pages and were pressed In love's hot, fevered iron Like a striped pair of pants"

Looking for a sexual metaphor . . . and landing on ironing striped pants. Seriously? Striped pants. Ironing. Incredible.

At least we know the relationship is over, because the fucking cake "melted in the rain." And the recipe was lost, so no more cake-simile relationships, I guess. Presumably no more fucking like pants and an iron either.

Dan Fogelberg has a couple:

In "Next Time" (probably my favorite song of his):

"One too many days, I've felt forgotten

And one too many nights, I've slept alone

And every time I WATCHED THE FRUIT TURN ROTTEN

I tell myself I'll be a little smarter next time..."

Who the hell wants to hear lyrics about rotting fruit in an otherwise beautiful ballad? YUCK!!!

And from "Make Love Stay":

"Moments fleet, taste sweet within the rapture

When PRECIOUS FLESH IS GREEDILY CONSUMED

But mystery's a thing not easily captured

And ONCE DECEASED, NOT EASILY EXHUMED"

Seriously what was wrong with this guy? Eating flesh and exhuming the deceased? GUH-ROSS!!!

"I had a dream. I had an AWESOME dream."

(OK, the whole song sucks. But that's the line that cements its suckiness.)

Michael Stipe had his share of clunkers. I always hated, "Aluminum, tastes like fear," from E-Bow the Letter.

r111: I always thought "One less egg to fry"? Now you can make a nice two-egg omelette and have a satisfying breakfast.

[Quote] Well lay back and relax, While I put away the dishes (put away the dishes)

I love Ring My Bell but never realized that was the lyric!

A song called Runaway,by Jefferson Starship. The chorus in that song, totally ruined it. Marty Balin could sing love songs, but, omg that chorus is awful.

"please understand I'm in love with another man And what he couldn't give me, oh-oh Was the one little thing that you can"

r121, I thought the "we planted a tree" line was even worse

This ENTIRE song:

R123 Didn't understand the assignment.

While Zeppelin has many goofy lyrics, this one makes me giggle whenever I hear it.

It’s so macho and campy:

“Hammer of the Gods”

I’ve always believed that Taylor Swift had inadequate schooling, especially using Romeo and Juliet as the basis for a happy union in Love Story, but the line that truly irks me is:

‘Cause you were Romeo, and I was a scarlet letter

What? She’s saying she was an adulterous whore? Good times!

r125 when Robert Plant starts screeching about Gollum it's all over for me.

R127

Different song but point well taken! That’s from Ramble On, which is supposed to be in the voice of one of the LOTR characters. The lead one. Sorry, just woke up and google isn’t helping.

R48 You don't get it. She's done with the relationship and he's desperate to hang on, but the only thing he can think of that they have in common is an old movie they both kind of liked. Thus, he's in denial that the relationship is doomed.

You could go line by line in that Chainsmokers song about fucking on the mattress that you stole from your roommate or whatever. I don't really care enough to look.

R129 Also, the implication is that BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S was the movie she picked on movie night and he's recalling their time watching it and liking it to try to win her back.

*primal scream*

"Lazarus," one of David Bowie's final songs, has a very somber, eerie feel. But then there's the line "I was looking for your ass." Doesn't quite ruin the song, but it's very awkward and kind of spoils the mood.

R97 The Doors had a few:

“I eat more chicken any man ever seen”

“there's a killer on the road/his brain is squirming like a toad“

R134, I could probably clutter this whole thread with kludgy Morrison lyrics, though he did get a few good ones in too. "Riders on the Storm" is a great song really brought down by some bad lyrics.

"Into this house we're born.

Into this world we're thrown.

Like a dog without a bone

An actor out on loan..."

In fairness, "I eat more chicken any man ever seen" is Willie Dixon's lyric. "Back Door Man" was a cover. And the lyric works better if you realize that he's not referring to literal chicken. He's talking about other men's young women. When the men come in the front door, he's slipping out the back door. Morrison famously loved fucking his girlfriends in the ass, so maybe he was finding another meaning in the song as well.

Yeah, "chicken" was definitely a metaphor.

"You didn't bat an eye when I made you cry"

I like a lot of Beatles tunes, but the majority of their lyrics are rather amateurish and nonsensical. It kinda ruins them for me and why I never became a fan. I love this bit from GOLDEN GIRLS:

DOROTHY: ♪ She loves you yeah yeah yeah ♫

SOPHIA: 'Yeah yeah yeah' -- you call that music?

Also...

SOPHIA: 'Dot, Dot, what a girl I got / When we shower together we don't have to turn on hot' -- look at me, I'm a Beatle!

😂

[quote] SOPHIA: 'Dot, Dot, what a girl I got / When we shower together we don't have to turn on hot' -- look at me, I'm a Beatle! 😂

Sounds more like the Beach Boys' "Barbara Ann."

My fave song by Spandau Ballet, Instinction, has so many:

Cheap bed, in the red/sleep the words out of your head Cold floor, nice and raw/eat the meat that’s on the floor

High tide, some disguise/loving makes the cream taste nice (?!?)

Not to mention the refrain: Stealing cake to eat the moon

Stealing cake to eat the moon

The Actor, "I'm not an actor I'm not a star and I don't even have my own car." Jarring, and the rhyme seems forced.

With your teeth in your mouth by REM is still the worst one mentioned here. Or the best song mentioned here. Either way...

Love Lana, and love “Did you know there’s a tunnel under Ocean Boulevard?” But the line “fuck me to death” kind of takes me out the mood of the song.

Wake up like a douche

Except that's not the lyrics.

Speaking of the “thee” thing above, even worse to me is when musicians write lyrics with the “-eth” ending on words.

Like, “Sat In Your Lap” is a great song by Kate Bush, I really love it. But towards the end, she sings:

My cup, she never overfloweth

It is I that moan and groaneth

Ugh! It’s like nails on a chalkboard for me. Also PJ Harvey’s “The Words That Maketh Murder” is a good song, but why ‘maketh’? Can’t stand that!

[quote]Also “Respectfully I say to thee, I’m aware that you’re cheating” in Upside Down bugs me.

I've always hated this. And by the way, why is she bothering to talk to him "respectfully" when he's cheating on her? Stop being such a fucking doormat, Diana!

“If I was a sculptor, but then again, no

Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show”

Oh, Bernie.

R145 No way, ya sure?

R148 I actually love that line. So random

Dire Straits’ Money for Nothin’.

Little f*gg*t line.

Otherwise great song. One of the best opening guitar riffs of any song.

Lana del Rey's "Young and Beautiful" feels lush despite weak lyrics,then she sings All that grace, all that body All that face makes me wanna party

Ugh

"I Love Me Some Him" by Toni Braxton. The grammar in the title and the chorus has always irked me.

A lot of Dixieland songs. Can't say a lot of words nowadays.

Don't Cry For Me Argentina's chorus starts out well, but the "Don't keep your distance" line on which it, and the song, ends is musical bathos and lyrically it sounds like the phone line cut out.

A bathtub of gentlemen only turn me off. Huuuuh.

What was Janet thinking!?

Love the song otherwise but:

"I'm still so strange and wild"

We get it Lana, not like the other girls blah blah blah

R156 = Sondra Prill! Hi, Sondra!

"Minneapolis" in Janet's Escapade should've been "Haleakala!" instead. It's way more fun to sing and fits the theme of the song better.

A snippet of "5 years" from David Bowie. I dont think it ultimately ruins it, its still a great song, but nearly...nearly: "News guy wept and told us Earth was really dying (dying) Cried so much his face was wet Then I knew he was not lying (lying)"

Of course your going to wet your face if you cry...you dont need to cry "alot" for that to happen...and why would you think the news guy would lie?

R97 how do you consider yourself a "big fan" of a band but think the main lyricist sucks? Morrison wrote 90% of their songs lol

R161 "lol"

The male singing ruins this song for me, she's like all sultry, she can be anything for you, come-and-fuck-me and then dude is just droning "Im a maaaan" over and over and I swear to god I wanna fucking choke him.

R163 (cont) It's not like there are no erotic stereotypes to draw from. But no, I guess that acknowledging that would be too much for that dudes sensibilites.I'm convinced that whoever wrote that is dead weight in bed.

Thankfully I found a cover from some obscure artists with no male singing.

Nelly Furtado’s Shit On the Radio is a good song, but this lyric drives me nuts:

“Your face! The colors change from green to yellow, to the point where you can’t even say hello..”

Furtado isn’t the best lyricist, but her music was good.