I got squirrels in my attic

. . . and not death, too.

Good luck! Same thing happened to me a few years ago.

Better than bats in your belfry.

So with all the bad publicity I've had to get a job with exterminators to meet new friends.

Where do you live OP? When I lived in the Midwest, I'd hear about squirrel home invasions pretty often. I was born and now live in California and I've never heard of it happening here

They leave humongous messes and blood sometimes when cut themselves on things they break. Favorite invasion story: one of the admins at a former company made rum cakes at Christmas to send to clients. She set them on the dining room table to cool and left for an errand. Yeah, drunk squirrels running amok. And they didn't just feast on one or two.

I’m in the Denver Metro area.

The little fuckers are quiet now.

No rats.

It's Pazuzu.

Is Bullwinkle up there too?

[quote]I got squirrels in my attic

That's an understatement.

I bet you’ve got bats in your belfry, too!

Using our becoming homeless as a dick grab, fucking cock hound!

Squirrels in your attic and birds in your head.

[quote]The animal removal guy is coming tomorrow. Cross your fingers he’s cute.

…and ants in your pants!

Are the critters gone? Was the guy hot. ?

He’s coming tomorrow instead. Will update tomorrow

I have a family of squirrels living in the space above my kitchen and sometimes hear them in the walls in my house in San Francisco. Don't know how they get in. They also built a nest in the Yucca tree near my front window near my desk. The adults have bee around for about two years. The squirrels are cute and don't bother me, but if fleas ever invade my house they'll be gone. I once hired a pest gut to get rid of raccoons that were living in the same space above my kitchen several years ago. He was expensive and not cute.

How do you go about finding the hole or gap they use to get it? Seems like plugging it up is important. They can be destructive especially if they feel trapped. They get frantic.

Years ago my son was rearranging his room and started yelling for me. He had moved his bureau and behind where it had been something had chewed/dug a hole through the wall and shoved a squirrel skull through the hole. It was wedged between the wall and the bureau and fell to the floor when he moved the bureau.

It was either a squirrel cleaning out the wall of dead squirrel skulls or a squirrel's head fell off from chewing through the wall.

I hate HATE squirrel in general so I didn't investigate too much.

I lived in Denver, too. Worst squirrels in the country.

Lived by Cheesman Park, which has a path around its perimeter. In one shade, dark spot, people would feed the damned things so they'd hang out there in a gang. They'd chase you as you tried to walk through. Once (true) several fuckers stood on their hind legs to block us from getting by. I started kicking.

Another time I had put in new windows and had baked (no shit) peanut butter cookies and had them on a rack close to the window. I saw a squirrel spread-eagle on the new screen with its claws through the wire as it tore at the screen with its teeth to get through.

The fuckers weren't starving. This thing was fat. I started smacking the screen and it wouldn't budge. I went out the back door with a baseball bat and it leapt off, realizing I meant business.

I grew up in an area that had red (fox) squirrels and gray squirrels. Gray squirrels are smaller but smarter and more impudent, and the red squirrels are declining. But they need to do a Kentucky squirrel hunt and roast in Denver until they have none left to feed to the children.

OP- Just be glad you don't have Gerbils UP YOUR ASS

It is interesting that squirrels were not in cities in the 19th century until the Victorians in a back to nature craze brought squirrels into the public parks and from that they spread all over. And with the amount of food trash modern people leave there is no reason for any to go back to the country. I tried to maintain a container garden at the back of my row house and fought the little bastards for years, and then a few years ago they stopped visiting. I think some neighbors down the street cut down some trees in their backyards so the squirrel highway was put out of commission.

Gray squirrels are not as dangerous as flying squirrels when they invade your attic.

Flying squirrels have caused many house fires when they gnaw on the electrical wiring they find up there. Happened to a friend of mine and his family. Their entire second story had to be rebuilt -- took 9 months!

Oh, my r22! That article is practically apocalyptic! But really correct. Squirrels chew and get totally frantic and can be be belligerent when trapped. Wasn't there a Monty Python sketch with a squirrel attacked to a neck? Or was it a rabbit?

[quote]…something had chewed/dug a hole through the wall and shoved a squirrel skull through the hole.

How chilling. It’s as if it were sending a message to someone. Maybe it’s the acorn cartel!

Better than snakes.

[quote]I got squirrels in my attic

I been tellin’ y’that for years

Meh. It's no possum in the drawer.

[quote]R23: Wasn't there a Monty Python sketch with a squirrel attacked to a neck? Or was it a rabbit?

'Twas the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog:

Get yourself a cat, and don't feed her for a day or two. She'll leap right up there and take care of the problem.

OP thinks we're her son.

Animal removal guy did the service call.

Oof, he’s cute as fuck (in his 20s). Tall, nice built, blue eyes and full head of dirty blonde hair and handsome face.

Omg, not a squirrel it’s a raccoon!!!!! He actually saw it in the attic (he said that rarely happens) . He put two traps outside (he said they don’t put traps in the attic, the trapped animal will freak out and cause a lot of damage) They use fried chicken as bait.

Will keep everyone updated lol

Too bad I can’t change the title to:

raccoons in my rafters

r31 Wrong commercial, then. My apologies.

Good luck, OP. I’m in Brooklyn and have had them get in several times. One came through the ceiling and died in a closet. When I had a ceiling redone, there was a dead one that fell down. Horrible experiences.

Doesn’t sound that bad. When my grandma was living in Florida she had a rat in her drawers.

Where I used to live about every summer a squirrel would get zapped by an electrical transformer and the building would lose power for a few hours. The squirrel usually didn’t survive.

[quote]How do you go about finding the hole or gap they use to get it?

The best place to start is going into the darkened attic when the sun is out and seeing if light gets in anywhere. If that's of no help you'll want to have chimney and ventilation openings checked out.

Outside the house, you'll want to carefully check all the siding and fascia. Most pest removal companies will look for the spots themselves and fill holes with steel wool until you can get it properly repaired.

You're really lucky to have called for that. Raccoon poop is dangerous, raccoons are rabies vectors and there's a video out there somewhere of a river of raccoon poop coming down the walls of someone's downstairs.

I got gerbils in my anus.

Rocky Racoon slipped into his room only to find OPs cage meat.

Lucky you! You'll eat well for the rest of the winter.

So what? I got junk in my trunk.

OP, clearly the only solution here is to put a sign on the front lawn saying "free house" and leaving in the middle of the night in a panic, a la Amityville Horror. Those squirrels are a menace, worse than possessions and hauntings!

Update! If anyone cares 🦝

The trap set in my backyard, was tripped. The plastic black bag on half the trap was ripped to shreds

Cute animal control guy came by in the AM and confirmed it was a raccoon. He said it was a rarity that the animal is caught in one day. He said he’ll leave the traps out (about a week) to see if there are other raccoons and to notify him if I still hear noises in the attic.

After about a week, he’ll put a metal cage around the gable vent to close up the entry point.

It was worth spending the money and I’m glad I called a professional

Next question, do I need to clean out the attic for raccoon shit?

OP, is that code for "hemorrhoids" ?

No, alas it’s not r44

I say it’s money well spent, you got a cute guy to help you and he got rid of your cobwebs 🕸️😉

I have Ants in my Pants

[quote] The animal removal guy is coming tomorrow. Cross your fingers he’s cute

And if he's not, OP, just keep putting more squirrels in the attic until get one that is!

Our main fear in the UK is getting bats in the loft/attic, removing them legally is almost impossible.

Current advice is to hang Christmas baubles from your roof joists as they don't like shiny things.

If you are caught doing anything more you could face six months in prison and an unlimited fine. The current highest fine was to a property developer at £600,000 + costs

Charge them rent. You may finally get to hold some nuts that aren't your own.

Squirrel stew for dinner!

[quote]Current advice is to hang Christmas baubles from your roof joists as they don't like shiny things.

But...bats are blind.

^ Before someone flips out and doesn't get the joke, no, they're not actually blind. That's a myth.

🤗 I heard that you once had crabs on your organ.

I had a recurrent problem with rats getting into the attic, and found out that Terminix has an extra-cost exclusion service where they cover all vents with screens and repair/coverpossible entry points and regularly inspect for intrusions. They also vacuumed out the rat shit. Not cheap, but I've never had another issue. Well worth IMO.

Well, all you need is a friend who owns a ferret.

And cobwebs in my mussy!

I’ve got starlings. For a few years they made nest on my roof…I think they pulled up the roof shingles and got into the soffits. We had some people do work on the house last year in the fall and we asked then to take a look on the roof. They tacked down some new shingles. Now every morning I wake to the sound of starlings pulling up the roof shingles again. I’m sure I’ll be hearing the peep peep peep of baby birds soon.

[quote] I’ve got starlings.

Clarice!