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Are most people slobs?

In addition to owning the place I live I a small apartment that I’ve rented out for the last 20 years. I went over to do some work over there yesterday and I haven’t been over there in some time. The tenants pay on time and they are very nice. But one thing I noticed they are complete slobs. They knew I was coming over and I’m not so one who would say anything. They pay rent . They look to be clean people physically. But they live like filthy pigs. Dirty dishes. Food out. Clothes everywhere. Unmade bed. Nothing smells. Am I a neatnik? Do most people live like this? I can’t even imagine. They are in their 20’s so I thought maybe that’s it. No judgement( well maybe a little). Do people live like this?

by Anonymousreply 67March 17, 2023 6:18 PM


by Anonymousreply 1March 12, 2023 7:30 PM

No, I live by myself and rarely have people over. I have a ton of plants and a dog (have had many multiple dogs at one time previously) and always am mid some project or another. My place is always tidy at the very least. Clothes put away (both dirty and clean), dishes done at least once daily, vacuum at least 3x a week etc. I used to be immaculate before I was medicated for OCD but I remain tidy. I do allow a few spots of clutter, the kitchen island is a spot where projects tend to congregate.

by Anonymousreply 2March 12, 2023 7:33 PM

Yup. They don't live "dirty" they live messy. The apartment is 'lived in' - fits their needs. If they don't have people over regularly. then this fits their daily lifestyle. So long as they keep things clean they're all set.

by Anonymousreply 3March 12, 2023 7:35 PM

I would say that most people are. But I come from a family of clean freaks, so I am particularly judgmental on this subject.

by Anonymousreply 4March 12, 2023 7:35 PM

I think it's an age thing. I was a big slob in my 20s. My apt looked as you described - not filthy but messy. When I got older and bought a house, I became very conscious of how the place looked. It's cleaned regularly and I keep it neat. I can't even leave dishes in the sink overnight. My younger self would be shocked.

by Anonymousreply 5March 12, 2023 7:45 PM

For the "messy not filthy" crowd: How do they keep the place "not filthy" when it's so untidy? It's hard to vacuum a floor that has stuff strewn all over it. It's hard to wipe down a kitchen counter that's used like a pantry, etc.

by Anonymousreply 6March 12, 2023 7:50 PM

R5 - For me, it was just the OPPOSITE. From my 20s through my early 30s everything was neat and tidy with a place for everything and every in its place. Then I got a life and came to the realization that constantly vacuuming, dusting, washing/drying/folding laundry, washing pans/dishes ate up valuable relaxation time after getting home from work.

Now, it's go to the dryer for clean underwear, let the dishes/pots soak, hang pants/shirts over a chair, etc. I should probably hire a housekeeper to come in once a week, but I don't like strangers rifling through my stuff (personal papers, porn, etc.). It works for me.

by Anonymousreply 7March 12, 2023 7:54 PM

R6 These so called "messy" people are in fact "filthy" people for exactly those reasons. You can't vacuum or mop under clutter. You can't dust under clutter. You're not shoving clutter out of the way to wipe things down beyond it. These "messy" people usually have dust bunnies everywhere, slimy fridges, all kinds of filth congregating in their bathrooms, smelly sheets and towels, etc. People don't call you "filthy" until you're nearing 'Hoarders' levels of filth, but trust me, you're filthy far before then.

by Anonymousreply 8March 12, 2023 8:06 PM

Messy people are dirty people

by Anonymousreply 9March 12, 2023 8:23 PM

they can't even be bothered to clean when they know the landlord is coming over, I bet the place is 10 times worse when he's not around.

by Anonymousreply 10March 12, 2023 8:26 PM

We take shoes off before going into living room and bedrooms, bleach the kitchen floors at least twice a week, trash is taken out every day, we don't leave food out ever, never dirty dishes overnight. we have a lot of clothes so there is always a dirty pile.

by Anonymousreply 11March 12, 2023 8:28 PM

You're disgusting, R11! I couldn't live with myself if I didn't bleach my kitchen floors at least twice a day.

by Anonymousreply 12March 12, 2023 8:35 PM

OP, how long have these particular tenants been in the unit? If they've been there for a long time, then I'd say forget it. If they've only been there for a short while, I'd keep an eye on things. You can't really clean the house when there are no clear surfaces. It's a job to just begin cleaning.

The good thing is that they pay their rent on time. I wouldn't be surprised if they did "clean up" before you got there. It was probably worse before you showed up.

by Anonymousreply 13March 12, 2023 8:35 PM

I live in an apartment and from the state of the shared laundry room it would seem most the tenants are filthy bastards who think they still live at home. I hate clutter but I also hate hoovering and dusting. So everything is put away but plenty of dust. The sink must be empty before I go to bed and trash taken out regularly.

by Anonymousreply 14March 12, 2023 8:52 PM

I'm a little cluttered but I think my depression contributes to that.

by Anonymousreply 15March 12, 2023 8:59 PM

R2 / rescue-chick, how do you keep up with all the dog hair?

by Anonymousreply 16March 12, 2023 9:08 PM

[quote]Do people live like this?

I don't.

by Anonymousreply 17March 12, 2023 9:46 PM

you should really visit them more often. They guy that owns the apt. house next to me had a family that were slobs and when they left he and his wife were shocked at how bad they left the place. They thought they would have to replace all the carpeting etc. It took them a week to clean it and it is a small apt.

by Anonymousreply 18March 12, 2023 9:50 PM

r16, I just have the one dog now, when I had 3+ I went through a vacuum a year and vacuumed multiple times daily. My big guy has shortish hair and I pet him enough that I just make big piles of his hair from petting him and throw those away. I vacuum a few times a week (including furniture, corners of walls etc).

by Anonymousreply 19March 13, 2023 12:05 AM

Rescue-chick, would you be willing to disclose what OCD med you're on and whether it has been helpful? Any tornadic side effects?

by Anonymousreply 20March 13, 2023 2:53 AM

Most people are hogs.

by Anonymousreply 21March 13, 2023 3:06 AM

r20, I am on zoloft and have only had great experiences with it. I was also initially put on Vyvanse and I believe that helped because the OCD and ADHD sort of fed each other with an assist by depression. I still have high anxiety but except in extreme circumstances it doesn't culminate in a full OCD spiral. For me, zoloft is like putting warm, comfortable slippers on my brain. The combination of zoloft and Vyvanse did start my trend towards being a fatass though.

by Anonymousreply 22March 13, 2023 3:10 AM

Yes most people are. I'm glad I'm not though. I'm extremely tidy, clean, and hygienic, but on weekends I will let a few small things go to give myself some unwinding and chill time before a new week begins.

by Anonymousreply 23March 13, 2023 3:18 AM

Rescue-chick, thank you so much for your detailed response. Extremely helpful. Very sorry for the thread-jack. (OCD is pure misery, and you have my total admiration for dealing with it head-on.)

by Anonymousreply 24March 13, 2023 3:18 AM

it was that or suicide r24. I hope *your friend * is able to explore options on dealing with it medically, he doesn't deserve to suffer.

by Anonymousreply 25March 13, 2023 3:28 AM

I've lived well and I've lived poor and I've lived everything in between. Living in squalor ALWAYS reflects conflict and people who are not self-actualized.

by Anonymousreply 26March 13, 2023 3:32 AM

It’s likely that their parents or families lived like that.

by Anonymousreply 27March 13, 2023 3:36 AM

I’m militant about never leaving food scraps out and making sure everything is either in the fridge or thrown away by the end of the night. This prevents pests. Otherwise, I leave non-food things strewn about and dirty dishes is the fridge for days at a time. There’s thick layers of lint on most surfaces, but I don’t care anymore. I hate most people, so I’m never worried about having anyone over.

by Anonymousreply 28March 13, 2023 3:45 AM

I have such a fear of bugs r28 that I don't even throw away scraps- if they're not something that my dog can eat or something that can go down the garbage disposal, they get put in the freezer in a bag until Thursday night (waste is picked up Friday morning).

I have decided that the best way to dust is to wait until it's thick enough you can peel it up like felt.

by Anonymousreply 29March 13, 2023 3:49 AM

[quote]I have decided that the best way to dust is to wait until it's thick enough you can peel it up like felt.


by Anonymousreply 30March 13, 2023 7:03 AM

Your living environment is just not your sensibility but a reflection of your mental health. Since my brother's wife died he has literally trashed their home. This once beautiful place looks like a crack house. Dark broken boarded up windows. Rubbish and filth everywhere. Mountains of beer cans. He's a 62 yo QNon conspiracy nut. His favorite words are dystopian and post apocalyptic. By destroying his home he's crated a self fulfilling prophecy. When he wakes up every day at noon and looks around at the filthy ruin he lives in he feels an immense amount of comfort and validation. You are how you live.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 31March 13, 2023 7:14 AM

It all depends on what class they are. Poor/low class people are more prone to addictions and depressions and severe mental illness. Of course these types will be horrendously dirty. I have noticed wealthier people, many who can pay cleaners, are spotless. Unless they purposely leave it filthy for the latinx cleaners to contend with.

by Anonymousreply 32March 13, 2023 7:16 AM

My friend who is gay inherited his house from his dad and lives alone. It’s a disgusting filthy pigsty and he never cleans, and I mean never. Never tidies up, you can hardly open the door for all the mail that’s piled up behind it. It smells horrible, it’s worse than a crack den and you can barely see the floor for all the junk everywhere. Like the people in OP’s post he is clean physically and he works in law. I try not to get frustrated that he chooses to live like that.

by Anonymousreply 33March 13, 2023 7:39 AM

R32 Guess again.

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by Anonymousreply 34March 13, 2023 7:41 AM

R19 this is why I'm considering getting a little Boston Terrier. They don't shed that much, maybe a bit after winter.

On topic: Yes OP, most people are extremely slovenly and live like slobs. Everyone has gotten way too comfortable.

by Anonymousreply 35March 13, 2023 7:54 AM

Having grown up in northwest Europe - I can say without a doubt that most Americans are slobs.

by Anonymousreply 36March 13, 2023 8:04 AM

Sitting in friends' filthy cars gives me anxiety. I throw my clothes into the wash as soon as I get home.

by Anonymousreply 37March 13, 2023 8:23 AM

R37 me too.

by Anonymousreply 38March 13, 2023 8:29 AM

The tenants are installed there. They have been for a while. They are trouble-free with the tent payments and pleasant to deal with. Count your blessings.

If you are worried about the state of the place, you really should have a team of cleaners in when it's to ready the place for new tenants. I might check in with them to ask if they have seen any pests, as a general welfare question knowing that they are more likely at key times of the year, and arrange s pest service call/s if so.

Otherwise enjoy what you have and don't fret that they have dirty dishes and pikes of clothes and libe a bit chaotically.

But OP really only asked in the general sense. Yes, a lot of people are slobber than you might think. For everyone else it's a point on which to spin their theories from watching an episode of "Hoarders" once -- surely a cause of more half-baked psychology than fee others.

It's better than having adversarial tenants who pay rent and on time and who go to lengths to not admit you to the property.

by Anonymousreply 39March 13, 2023 9:37 AM

I see a lot of stranger's homes (EMT) and yes, most people are disgusting. I would say probably 80%, and it doesn't matter how much money they have or how nice the neighborhood is. Beautiful waterfront custom homes, you walk in and the floor will be covered in dog shit or so much trash you have to clear a path. It's pretty gross. When we moved and couldn't sell our house right away, we rented to a lovely young professional couple, very well put together. At the end of the lease, there were holes in the carpet, caked filth and hair on the trim boards, the walls and floors behind all the toilets were covered in months of urine overspray. HVAC filters were clearly not changed regularly despite me sending a box to their house and instructing them on how to change them out. The upstairs shower had leaked through the ceiling but they never bother to inform me so we could get it fixed in a timely manner. The whole house smelled like they'd been brewing kombucha in there. We put it right and were relieved to be able to finally sell it.

by Anonymousreply 40March 13, 2023 3:34 PM

R31 Your brothers looks hot in that pic despite the squalor.

by Anonymousreply 41March 13, 2023 4:14 PM

Most houses with kids are a total disaster. Worse if there’s dogs or cats.

by Anonymousreply 42March 13, 2023 4:22 PM

I grew up in a very clean home. My parents didn't make a big deal about our rooms on a daily basis but they had to be dusted and vacuumed every week so everything had to be picked up and put away. We were each responsible for cleaning our own rooms from about age 8 so I liked to do it Fridays after school so it wasn't hanging over my head all weekend.

I got very neat and clean when I went to college. Something about living in a 14x14 room with another person made it even more intolerable if it was messy. I then lived in a series of very small and mostly old NYC apartments, with and without roommates. Sometimes we had cleaning service but mostly divided cleaning chores equally.

When I bought my house I got a bit relaxed on cleaning because I had so much space to myself. One day my parents, who live out of state, came by unexpectedly. I was mortified that they came in to a sink full of dirty dishes, a pizza box in the living room, socks on the living room floor, etc. It was a mess and I never used to live that way. I hired a cleaning service after that.

My cleaner eventually became my housekeeper. She came three days a week, four hours a day and cleaned a little bit each day. She did the grocery shopping and cooked dinner for me 3x a week. During lock down she moved away to be closer to family. I went for over a year without a cleaning service. I finally got someone in 2021. It seems to me it's different people every week, but they do a good enough job. I work from home so they don't clean my office and that's the only room I have to keep clean myself. I dust and vacuum about every two weeks, or more if it needs it. I try to keep my furball housemates out of here. When I didn't have a cleaner, I tried to do a little bit each day and not let it get out of hand. Laundry was a challenge until I basically decided to live out of two clean laundry baskets - one for sheets and towels that got washed each week, and one for clothes. I basically wore 5 sets of clothes, socks and underwear week after week after week for almost a year. I could probably get rid of 90% of my clothes, shoes, belts and jackets and not miss them.

by Anonymousreply 43March 13, 2023 4:49 PM

[quote] I have decided that the best way to dust is to wait until it's thick enough you can peel it up like felt.

I don't understand being so diligent about food scraps & dog hair, but not dusting. I hate dusting, also, but I also don't have knick-knacks and decorations. It's mostly a matter of wiping down a flat surface. (Except my blinds, which were installed by my landlord.)

by Anonymousreply 44March 13, 2023 5:28 PM

haha r44, that was *mostly* an exaggeration. Every time I vacuum I also use the dust attachment for the front of cupboards, most flat surfaces and window ledges etc. But, anything that I consistently miss has to wait until it can grab my attention which is when it gets thick. I have one table in the living room that is a custom made acrylic thingy in the corner with a plant on it, it's behind a chair. That never gets dusted until I notice there's not a shine on it and it's flat out fuzzy. Ditto with the baseboard heaters. So, not everything- just certain things consistently.

by Anonymousreply 45March 13, 2023 6:24 PM

"Dust doesn't get any worse after the first four years."

by Anonymousreply 46March 13, 2023 11:36 PM

Clean freak here. I don't think I could get any enjoyment out of life if I lived like that. Your home is your castle. Plus there's something oddly comforting about the ritual of staying on top of things. It makes me feel better overall.

by Anonymousreply 47March 14, 2023 2:03 AM

[quote]Beautiful waterfront custom homes

That should be HOUSES. You can sell/buy a building, a house. It can become a "home" once you move in.

by Anonymousreply 48March 14, 2023 3:28 PM

Look in their microwave. That will tell you everything you need to know about a person’s cleanliness.

by Anonymousreply 49March 14, 2023 3:31 PM

[quote]No judgement

Wow, talk about no self-awareness...

by Anonymousreply 50March 14, 2023 3:36 PM

I’m with R22. If they don’t mean to be messy they may have ADHD. Every day they might want to clean, be depressed that they are slobs, but cannot find the motivation. Alt: they start to clean but then hyperfocus on, say, perfectly arranging their desk drawer, but then invariably peter out, leaving even more crap laying about.

by Anonymousreply 51March 14, 2023 4:00 PM

A lot of neat people pay for someone to clean weekly for them. It makes them doubly neat because they tidy up beforehand out of guilt or shame.

by Anonymousreply 52March 14, 2023 4:02 PM

I frankly don't care about what OP is going on about, but as an avowed slob I'm proud of not being that tidy

by Anonymousreply 53March 14, 2023 4:06 PM

R53, we’re very happy about your filthy ass!

by Anonymousreply 54March 14, 2023 4:07 PM

I have a lot of bookshelves and had neglected dusting them until there was so much dust!

I finally found a soft bristle brush that fit my vacuum attachment wand. Running the vacuum hose with that brush over the shelves worked wonderfully to really remove the dust. (The brush that comes with the vacuum has too tough bristles.) The hose couldn't reach the top shelves, but once started, I finished the top shelves with this microfiber dusting wand which did the rest.

I also bought a Dustbuster to pick up bits of fuzz or paper from the carpet. Also use it to remove the debris from the pile resulting when I broom sweep. Very handy for small pickups.

by Anonymousreply 55March 14, 2023 4:17 PM

I find if I throw sugar on the ground, the ants follow and then my anteater suck-cleans my whole living quarters!

by Anonymousreply 56March 14, 2023 4:22 PM

Bugs are amazing creatures, they'll find you you can't block them out. Mice are pretty clever too, but not as much as bugs.

by Anonymousreply 57March 14, 2023 4:28 PM

Latinx peeps don't mind if the place is an absolute mess. That is their job and their whole raison dêtre.

by Anonymousreply 58March 14, 2023 5:32 PM

R56 the issues I have with ants in the Spring. I vacuum and clean, but still these fuckers rise out of hibernation and descend on my room. I have to strew my floors and carpets with poison powder as well as baking soda and fragrant herbs just to dissuade them from eating and swarming and nesting in all my belongings. Vile.

by Anonymousreply 59March 16, 2023 2:48 AM

There's an entire spectrum of cleanliness, from people who start to get itchy if they see a tiny piece of lint on a carpet, to people who only leave the narrowest of paths to walk around in their houses between piles on the floor. I'm on the slobby side, because clutter doesn't personally bother me at all, but I do have a cleaning person who comes every two weeks, so I have to do a thorough decluttering before she comes so that she can get to every surface. I cook every single day, usually two cooked meals a day, so my dishwasher gets a steady workout. When I fill the dishwasher, I run a cleaning washcloth over all the kitchen surfaces. But I don't mop the floors or vacuum, unless I've spilled something over a carpet or dropped some crumbs on the floor. . I have no pets. My housecleaner sweeps and mops the floors, vacuums the rugs, and cleans the bathrooms (sinks, toilets, and bathtub). Obviously if there is something gross going on in the sinks or toilets, I take care of that in between, but most of the time there isn't. Most people are a reflection of their upbringing. A certain kind of parent can make a child so conscious of cleaning that the adult he grows up to be can't relax or do something fun and pleasant in his own house until he has thoroughly cleaned it. I draw the line at open bits of food sitting out. I don't order pizza, so I don't have boxes of that around, and I store food promptly in the refrigerator after a meal. That's not so much for pests, because I live in an area which doesn't have cockroaches or inside bugs, but I don't want to attract mice, and I definitely don't want to look at or smell remnants of food.

By the way, according to some sites I have read (I'll try to link one), making your bed promptly in the morning actually keeps it from airing out. It would be better to make your bed several hours after rising if you have that luxury. Sometimes a LITTLE slobbiness is actually a healthy thing

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by Anonymousreply 60March 16, 2023 6:31 AM

Christina Metz has to combine four king sized beds to sleep comfortably. With all her earth shattering farts at night plus anal leakage, no amount of time ever "airs out" her beds. It always smells like an open sewer in Mumbai.

by Anonymousreply 61March 16, 2023 8:40 AM

My neighbor one wore a high on the thigh one piece swim suit while she weighed 300 lbs

by Anonymousreply 62March 16, 2023 7:42 PM

R59 TERRO ANT KILLER! It attracts ants and the ants drink the liquid and carry it to their queen. If you ever have ants in the house, you just need to use once and ants go poof.

by Anonymousreply 63March 16, 2023 9:54 PM

R63 thank you babe!! shall order some immediately and see if I can get the jump this year

by Anonymousreply 64March 16, 2023 9:57 PM

In this age of the black mirror and perfectionist beauty ideals and fucking SKIMS and sleek tech, I think everyone should deliberately try to look like slobs. Fuck this 'flawless' beauty singularity we're rocketing toward.

by Anonymousreply 65March 17, 2023 2:44 AM

I was watching a Christopher Hitchens interview filmed from his house. Dude had zero art on the walls, only bookcases, hardly any furniture, very spartan. I was surprised . It was clean though

by Anonymousreply 66March 17, 2023 3:55 AM

[quote]I was watching a Christopher Hitchens interview filmed from his house. Dude had zero art on the walls, only bookcases, hardly any furniture, very spartan. I was surprised . It was clean though

Interesting, though I'm not surprised, R66. I worked with known many architects and remarkably few designed their principal house. Those that did usually were quite rich, either from their practice or from family money. It's intimidating to design your own house when you know it will be judged against a fairly impossible standard, and all the worse when an architect doesn't have the money to specifiy the very best materials and techniques. He's also aware that architecture ages; even the most 'timeless' example will look a little dated in not so many years leaving the architect to overlook it and leave it as a bug caught in amber or continuously rework the design. Against those pressures, most architects will opt for an historic house leaving them with the easy out of 'well, of course I didn't design this house.'

It's similar with art critics and art historians. If they collect anything or simply display art on their walls, everyone's a critic of the critic or expert. Hughes' strong opinions put him in the cross-hairs of others to criticize his taste even assuming he could afford some impressive pieces. Aside from avoiding any conflict of interest in their own area of expertise, many museum people purposely don't collect things, or they collect oddball things of no great value. It's hard to bring home museum aesthetics and quality if you think everyone is judging you on your taste in everything, high art on your walls and the soap in your bathroom.

by Anonymousreply 67March 17, 2023 6:18 PM
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