Have you ever worked with a REALLY fucked up person…

ATF, not FTA.

Also, please excuse my other typos. I’m old.

I would mind my business right up until they trespass with something documentable, ESPECIALLY if you’re in management.

I have a weirdo that the moment I walk out the door talks trash about how I manage the business to both staff and clients. He was “upset” that someone ratted him out but it was one of my clients that he did it to and I had spoke to her face to face and play by play what he did, not allowing any sort of grey area. It really was a grace that it happened, he’d been pointing the blame onto others for awhile and I’d been patient and gave him lots of leeway.

When I confronted him and told himI cannot fathom that he talks bad about me while I went out of my way to help him, he quit.

TL;DR

Years ago I worked with a woman who we all quickly realized was certifiable. She would make up stupid little lies and stories that most people would think “Why would she make that up?” but after you heard so many of them you realized she must be a pathological liar. The biggest one she told was that she had a child that had been abducted by the child’s father and taken to live in another country. When people pressed her for details nothing about the story made sense, not least of which is she was too old to have a child the age she was claiming. She told this one after being there about a year and realizing people weren’t buying her bullshit.

She was also openly racist and would say offensive stereotype things in front of minority coworkers. Always “jokingly” but stuff that wouldn’t get a pass today and shouldn’t have back then either. The best was we were working the night Obama first got elected and she got so upset when he won that she tried to go home sick. This was after weeks of birther comments about how he was Kenyan and communist and Sarah Palin should be the frontrunner for the GOP. Management refused to let her leave because there was only a couple hours left in the shift and it would take that long to get a replacement in. I would not be shocked at all to find out she was at the Jan. 6 insurrection.

R2 "I had spoke to her"

Oh, dear!

Also, fun made-up story!

I would wager that everybody has worked with a really fucked up person.

And the workplace brings out the worst in most people, at least in my experience.

ESTs are conclusive.

I worked with a young woman who was mentally ill.

She was an internal hire from another department of our company - she had missed 8 days of work in a year so I wasn't sure why we even saw her. I was a team leader and not in charge of hiring, but the two team leads could sit in on the interviews. Both of us team leads wanted the other candidate - a much better qualified guy (who was also cute, but whatever) but they hired her. I think they believed she would work for less money and stay longer.

She was a problem from the get go. She could not in any way take constructive criticism - we recorded our calls and we would tell her nicely "okay, you got this number wrong, it's easy to get mixed up, here's how we work around that" and she would get furious and say: you're lying! You altered the tape recording!

The thing that made me really sure she was just fucking crazy was when she started to call her Mommy anytime there was an issue at work. No, I am NOT kidding. She would come back to us and say, well, I don't have to do that, Mommy told me I could say no.

She eventually was put on corrective action and before they fired her she quit.

Did I mention the lengthy periods of talking to herself?

I had empathy for her in the beginning but there is a point where either someone needs to contribute something to the group effort or they're just sucking away time and energy, and she was a time suck.

PS: she was a young black woman and for a time she also tried to say anyone who was correcting her was racist. But since black women made up about 75-80 percent of our department, nobody but nobody was interested in that little strand of drama and she wisely iced it after a few weeks.

I’m sure I have worked with some nut bars. But I’ve been self-employed so long, I’ve kind of blocked it all out.

I will say this: volunteer work (especially at schools) attracts some real freaks.

There is a mom at my kid’s former school who has almost single-handedly destroyed the entire volunteer program, which used to have a lot of parental participation and $$$.

But she is so rude, gossipy, and evil, no one wants to deal with her.

She was friends with some teachers and the former principal. She would apparently get sensitive, confidential student information from them and then spread it all over the school. It’s a wonder the school hadn’t been sued.

She has two or three “friends” and they run the entire program, making sure to chase off any newcomers.

I’ve never seen adults behave that way. It’s truly disturbing.

The funny thing is I sort of instinctively avoided her from the get-go, which I think she found offensive. It turns out her father and I are in the same industry. Fine, who cares.

But she really wanted me to know that for some reason. Blurted it out one day at a school function, apropos of nothing.

She proceeded to talk about her father as if he’s some high-powered guy.

Turns out he’s some disbarred attorney in a rural town in Colorado. (Boebert country.) Hardly some “elite.”

The woman herself has a criminal record and it appears she’s been sued on old debt. No big deal, but all part of a pretty chaotic puzzle.

R8, while I absolutely appreciate your story, your example, is not what I’m referring to.

What I’m referring to is having a coworker in your midst, who has something REALLY off about them, & the only person who notices, is YOU.

Now, that being said, the current coworker who I am referencing, allegedly complains constantly about “the job”, to another coworker. Big deal. People bitch about their jobs all the time.

Personally? I wondered about my job at first, but now? I really care about it, & care about those I work under, & work with. I couldn’t have asked to work with or for, a better group of people. They’re all wonderful, except for this particular coworker whom I get bad vibes about.

It’s just a vibe, , along with some very specific things I have heard this coworker say, that interestingly enough, sort of remind me the the confabulations my former coworker who got arrested by the FBI/ATF used to say.

The above being stated, even these possible bullshit stories, are NOT what make me raise an eyebrow. It’s other stuff, that I’m not going to get into, as it is somewhat detailed, & for sure seem irrelevant to others, but not to me.

I grew up with a very screwed up, dishonest mom. I believe that she definitely set the stage for me to experience distrust, however, I have a MUCH better handle on that feature, than I did in my teens & twenties.

I am able to recognize when I’m wandering off the farm, so to speak. I have the ability to stop, use actual reason, & reel myself back in when things are going off script.

That’s NOT what my experience with this new coworker is about.

I believe there’s something going on there that’s not kosher. I do not know how, what or why. It’s just a gut instinct, & I have not been able to shake it, even though I have intentionally & deliberately attempted to do so.

All of that said, I DO recognize that there’s a HUGE possibility or even probability, that I am WAAAY off base, & incorrect in my “gut” feelings/assumptions.

Eh, gut instincts usually aren’t wrong.

R11?

Yes. I know. And this is what concerns me.

[quote]Have you ever worked with a REALLY fucked up person…

Yes, he's a ginger, lies a lot and talks like he has a hot potato stuck up his arse. Don't even get us started on the slimy wench he married.

Worked with a social-climbing sociopath — I'll call him Chuck. The company finally let him go and took his keys.

A few months later, another co-worker was picking up her car at the company-paid lot when the attendant said, "Oh, you just missed Chuck."

"I don't work with Chuck any more."

"That's strange."

It turned out Chuck had been parking there every day for free because Boss forgot to cancel Chuck's parking.

The next Monday, the person who opened the office found that someone had unlocked the door, taken a huge shit in the entry, and locked up again.

We knew Chuck must've made a duplicate key. After the mess was cleaned up, a locksmith was called immediately.

So many TL;DR replies

R10, the Eff Bee Eye's tip line is anon. Just sayin.

I think I'm pretty good at picking up on the small subversive or antisocial traits people have. It's amazing what people get away with, people in general are pretty dense about that sort of thing unless the behavior is extreme or explicitly antagonistic. In my opinion - never confront or obstruct subnormal people unless they are directly threatening you. Become as boring to them as you can be and try to be agreeable.

[quote]I’m not always right, but I’m right when it actually counts.

OP? The call is coming from inside the house.

I worked with a pathological liar, who thankfully was nowhere near management level. She was engaged to a wealthy food mogul and vacationed in castles in Europe. In reality she was single, living in a small apartment and bought Swiss chocolates from Aldi to pretend she traveled. Sad, but harmless.

Yes, OH yes....!!

I think the problem is much worse if they are in management. Sketchy shenanigans from a low powered person are easily removed by firing that person. If the bad person is in a powerful role it’s extremely harmful for everyone at work.

"Freaks You Work With": The Return

OP, it't not just the typos, it's the complete misunderstanding of grammar and punctuation.

R23, can we give it a rest?

You’re right, but you’re also not my editor, & sometimes? I’m just too fucking tired to review & self edit, before posting.

It’s DL, not the New Yorker.

OP here.

I figured out what I dislike about this coworker.

He has no center. He copies others for approval. He mimics a xenophobic, homophobic, racist old man, in order to gain social points within the workplace.

What the old man does is WRONG, & what this coworker mimics is obviously, also wrong.

I genuinely cared/care about the old man, & was holding out, hoping it was all a huge put on & a joke, but I now realize it is not.

I feel bad for him. I cannot understand why he does what he does, when he is freakin’ lovable & affable in so many other ways, other than when he goes off on his tirades about fags & spics.

My other coworker needs to grow a spine, as do all of us in this office.

It is NOT OK to call others fags, or make fun of others because English is not their 1st language.

[quote]Who you innately sense are fucked up,

Oh dear.

I've known a few. There was the BPD case who bullied her office-mate into doing all her work, and basically everyone at the office was given some sort of assignment related to proving that bitch was doing no work at all. Because it takes reams and reams of proof to fire someone for refusing to do their fucking job. And NEVER hire a person who doesn't have references!

And then there was the pathological liar I worked with back in the 1990s, but he really was harmless, and I rather liked him. He was a black guy from a rough background trying to fit into the middle classes, and possibly closeted, and he'd tell stories about a wife and kids and a lovely suburban home and social life that reportedly didn't exist. He probably thought that the real person he was wouldn't be accepted in Cube Hell, and he was probably right.

Boring yet interesting, all at once, R27.

OP, you really need to learn to cut to the fucking chase when telling a story.

This is not a Netflix series.

3/10

Yes. His name was Ed.win Mon.tan.ez. He was some kind of junior asshole. He lied all the time and was like a turd in a dog park. Always there stinking up the place.

I worked with two Millennials who were very codependent with each other & seemed to feed each others’ neuroses. One was a victim of multiple molestations & rapes, whose father had just died. The second was a Jehovah’s Witness who was divorcing her cheating hubby. I thought the first girl was more messed up but I got it backwards. The JW girl I’m guessing had Munchhausen, would miss work for any reason (she hit her head while trying to feed her dog was my favorite). She missed so much work that she was disqualified from obtaining a pre approved mortgage. Everything seemed to trigger her, & she started eating compulsively, she gained like 50 lbs in a couple weeks, I’m not even exaggerating, our coworkers didn’t even recognize her.

She eventually quit, after petitioning to work from home, which was justly denied (ironically Covid came like 6 months later & we all worked from home then). After she quit, the first girl became a whole other person, she lost 50 lbs herself & her negative woe is me attitude disappeared.

We all worked in one room & the two girls found some IM setup where they would IM each other all day long, ragging on everyone we worked with (me included) & professing their best friendship, how they couldn’t live without each other, etc. I was shocked after I found out how symbiotically/pathologically connected they’d been. I even became friends with #1, though I had to get over her telling me she often dreamt she was a demon with full-on batwings who’d fly around & rape people. She ended up being really cool, very political, liberal & we vibe about pretty much everything eventually, except she was a Bernie “bro” & I was all for Biden. By comparison, #2 didn’t believe in evolution & scolded me when I wished her good luck on her job interview (there’s no such thing, Jehovah commands it!)

The third was an idiot savant conjoined twin hermaphrodite who worked as a lineman for the county. IT'S ALL TOTALLY TRUE AND I'M NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP FOR ATTENTION.

I've told you before about the guy who was really weird around every woman in the office, except for the idiot frau supervisor who'd hired him because they shared some irrational beliefs. The guy who eventually left to move to another state, and whose wife died mysteriously shortly after they were out of the sight of everyone they knew...

Yeah, he gave me that gut feeling of wrongness from the get-go. It's a very different feeling than dislike, and different than fear, different from realizing someone is mentally ill or just a complete weirdo. It's more like those sci-fi movies where humans have been replaced by aliens replacing humans - your gut feeling is that this isn't a normal human being.

So, you're insane AND a bad liar.

Yes, but it was at a small company, so it was rather hard for him to keep up with his lies. A year after being hired, he was fired.

As long as they're not in management (or owners), they usually don't last long.

Maybe.

[quote] The third was an idiot savant conjoined twin hermaphrodite who worked as a lineman for the county.

Was this in Wichita?

Yes. It was a HR manager. She was also a manic bipolar fat cow.

I went to college with someone who was absolutely certifiable. She was controlling of people she viewed as "beneath her". She had Michelle Bachman eyes too. She had a completely manic energy that was just repulsive. She would lie about just about everything you can think of. She was paranoid about weird things. She claimed that everyone in our classes was obsessed with her relationship with this one guy and talking about their relationship non-stop. In reality, nobody gave a shit about her relationship and everyone just thought she was batshit. She cheated on her boyfriend with multiple men. One time, before I knew anything about her, I jokingly called her a slut and her response was "I'm religious". LOL! And she even had a bible in her car.. She's one of those people who would refer to people she knew for five seconds as "her good friend". Someone even asked me straight up if she was doing crack.

Forgot to mention a funny/crazy thing she did. A friend and I were in her car because we were going to study at a coffee shop together. Our university was near a lake. She pulls over to the lake (which has no buildings near it) and looks at us and goes "is this it?". Which...was just a WTF moment for both of us. She was a recovering coke head which may explain her crazy behavior.

Years ago, I worked with a woman who was clearly unstable.

She started as a temp; seemed reliable and competent although very quiet and reserved.

She was on track to be offered a permanent full-time position when her behavior became more and more erractic and bizare.

She would start arguments with coworkers that involved her making accusations against them that were totally unfounded. But she was also very bright, well-spoken, and competent at her job - except for the ocassions when she would start to exhibit irrational behavior, which became more and more frequent.

I was working nearby one day when she went in coworkers office and accused the coworker of telling other workers that she had bad breath. It was so unfounded and unexpected that the coworker she accused initially just seemed confused. But the crazy women kept escalating her accusations until it turned into a full-scale shouting match.

As we started comparing notes about her - she seemed to be having paranoid delusions that her coworkers were conspiring against her - and she always claimed the conspiracies related to people criticizing her hygeine - especially her having bad breath.

If she weren't so clearly mentally ill, it would have been funny. In fact many us initially thought she was joking when she would make these accusations, because she seemed so normal otherwise.

The funny thing about the company was that most executives became so intimidated by her that they allowed this behavior to continue to months.

The company finally called in a senior executive to terminate her on the Friday before a holiday weekend.

It's almost like she was some kind of FRAU or something. What an amazing storytime story of a true story.

I’m THAT co-worker. Yes, I’m a crazy-ass. I really don’t give a shit!

Was she a nepo baby? A frau nepo baby? A nepo baby frau with bad breath? A frausian baby of nepo who smells bad?

[quote]She was a problem from the get go. She could not in any way take constructive criticism - we recorded our calls and we would tell her nicely "okay, you got this number wrong, it's easy to get mixed up, here's how we work around that" and she would get furious and say: you're lying! You altered the tape recording!

R8, I had a similar experience with a grad assistant. She was quite intelligent, but had a SERIOUS issue with criticism/training up/correction.

I'd had GAs for several decades with little problems. But this one? I'd say something like "In reviewing your work I noticed this thing, that thing, and another thing. And this is an area where you cannot bs or put incorrect info in the database. So let's go over these items and work them out together."

Her immediate reaction, every time, was "Ohhhh, I think we not go over that." Or "That is not my mistake." Or "I think you tell me wrong." "We never go over that." "No, I did not do this." (um, girl, your initials are right here on the gotdamn record!) Sooooo fucking MADDENING.

Her husband was the sweetest guy. She'd make him bring her lunch, knowing he had class. She regularly, publicly berated him in Mandarin and English. Twice she actually got up from her desk, ran after the husband, and KICKED HIM IN HIS ASS. We staff were flabbergasted.

Finally I vented to a work friend, who incidentally was from South Vietnam. She clocked my GA, telling me "It's not you; it's a Chinese Communist thing. You never, ever admit to even the smallest error, or you get in trouble. So they lie and try to sidestep their mistakes. I see this when North Vietnam took over my country; they act just like Chinese."

What a revelation to me, and from then on altered my approach to training.

THIS is why diversity is important.

But that girl was deeply odd and cold inside, and I was glad to see her graduate.

So many stories of truthfulness and truisity.

I worked with a CEO who gossiped and destroyed reputations. He had the power to turn co workers against eachother. Beyond toxic. I sat in meetings with him where he demanded people be fired for no other reason than he disliked them. He was eventually replaced and given some bullshit fake job in the organization until he retires.