Bruce Vilanch appreciation thread

Very sexy

Always creeped me out.

No matter how talented or how intelligent, unless he's hawt, there can be no appreciation.

He outed Margaret Hamilton when he talked about working with her on the Paul Lynde Halloween Special.

He also called The Brady Bunch Variety Hour — with Florence Henderson and the gang — "A Tennille and Eight Captains."

Yeah, his interviews are hilarious, dishy, and no-holds-barred.

He’s a hottie!

Bruce did a pretty good job playing Edna Turnblad in one of the iterations of Hairspray

He is a national treasure.

Butter.... well, everything!

He did an HRC dinner event about 30 years in my city. Pretentious twat who was difficult backstage, lazy onstage and way too expensive. Not impressed, and then realized he was a perfect fit for the HRC. Next!

^ 30 years ago.

He's very funny.

His schtick is so stale.

I bet his wig smells of cigarettes and escort asses.

R11- You are one NASTY qween.

Please,

sit next to me 🙃

OP- Lainie Kazan looks so FUCKIN OLD now

She looks like a frail little old lady.

Martha Stewart in comparison is aging so well.

Love Bruce. His doc "Get Bruce!" was pretty insightful as well. He knows how to dish but I think he's also always been pretty fair in his critiques. No needless bitchery. And basically helped give us the Bette Midler we know and love...so that deserves a lot of credit!

His recent critiques of the humorless, woke-y awards show telecasts have been spot on too. Jokes and bits, people. That's all these things really can bear. The layer of social commentary topples the deck on this (basically) pageant shows.

In 1992, I went to see La LuPone at the Westwood Playhouse. I had good seats, and in my row was this tubby Muppet looking guy. Patti waved to him. Years later I realized it was Bruce.

I’m actually not familiar with his work but I live interviews with him.

He asked me out and when I said "no" he hit me with the old "you're not that hot, anyway." But really I was that hot.

Bruce is an ongoing Cartman gag joke in South Park. Personally I like the guy and when he's referenced randomly I can't help but laugh.

[quote] Lainie Kazan looks so FUCKIN OLD now

She looks like a frail little old lad

Old?? She looks like Ruth Gordon on the way to the morgue... but Ruth looked looked better.

Thanks OP, looking forward to this documentary. Studio One was a great club, and the Backlot was a wonderful place to see shows. Phyllis Diller, Bernadette Peters, Wayland and Madame, and so many more.

One of my friends used to date Bruce and doesn't speak badly about him.

His interviews are award worthy. I'd love to have a dishy memoir from him.

I was standing on a side street sidewalk and heard a car honk it's horn, stop next to a car that was double-parked, and the guy yelled something like "Make up your fucking mind!" to the other driver and then sped away. It was Bruce driving. Guess what kind of car he was driving. Let's just say non-traditional. I'll confirm when someone gets it.

Hearse?

R17- Please, tell me more.

That reminds me of a guy at a bathhouse. He was a muscle bear type- he would definitely be considered hot by lots of guys- but not me because he wasn't my type. He entered my room and inexpertly sucked my cock , praising it. Then he wanted to video sucking me off. I kept saying no then he said- I WOULDN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU ON THE STREET

I said Goodbye pointing to the door and he left.

He should marry, oh, that Oscar winning liberal documentarian of Roger & Me fame. Maybe surrogate with Rosie O’Donnell forty years ago. Sigh.

A broom?

I love his interviews, too.

[quote]Gilbert and Frank welcome an old friend, legendary comedy writer Bruce Vilanch, who looks back at the “golden age” of TV variety shows and specials, including “Donny & Marie,” “The Brady Bunch Hour,” “The Star Wars Holiday Special” and “The Paul Lynde Halloween Special.” (all co-written by Bruce himself). Also, Margaret Hamilton makes her move, Robert Reed channels Carmen Miranda, Jack Benny does “The Match Bit” and Gilbert takes over “Hollywood Squares.” PLUS: Jack Palance! Bob Hope’s filing cabinet! “Wayne Newton at SeaWorld”! Bruce hangs with Tallulah Bankhead! And the Oscar joke that never made the air!

He looks the same as he did like 30 yrs ago.

He’s the only person in Hollywood who could get away with sweat pants at a premiere.

I honestly thought he was already dead...

R30- He must have low self esteem or be depressed to be dressing like that at a premiere and make NO effort to enhance his appearance.

There is a Behind the Scenes video of him at a gay porn shoot, watching and joking around with the naked actors. Don't remember where I saw it.

I saw him on the HOLLYWOOD SQUARES reboot and I thought he was unfunny. Guess he is a better comedy writer than comedian.

Does he still write all of Bette Midler's tweets?

His interview on Gilbert Gottfried's podcast that R28 mentioned is a riot and filled with gossip.

I remember him talking about working on the Donnie and Marie show.

Everything--jokes & songs--had to be run by the Mormon Church.

I forget the song that Marie insisted on singing but Vlianch thought it was funny that the Mormon Church hadn't realized it sounded like a song about longing for a big dick.

Bruce Vilanch once kicked me in the cuntbone. Karma, I guess.

...from St8Up Gay Porn:

At least one awards show this season decided to buck the meatless trend: the Str8UpGayPorn Awards, held Jan. 12 at Avalon

Meanwhile, in the crowd, a tipsy porn star named Calhoun Sawyer — who’d flown in from Kentucky for the big night — plopped himself into the lap of Bruce Vilanch and made out with him.

No, La Vilanch was not driving a hearse or a broomstick, it was a wood-paneled PT Cruiser. I don't remember the exact color.

Hopefully with extra undercarriage support.

I want that shirt.

Lainie looks ready to do a one-woman show about Cindy Adams.

Revolting name dropper.

Didn't he out Luther Vandross?

I hate the shirts with the stupid writings on them. After high school one should no longer wear shirts with anything written on them.

The shirts with stupid writings on them work to hide the horrible, horrible man boobs that every fat man hates about himself. No, it doesn’t work, but it’s better than wearing a plain shirt.

Give fatties a break, ok?

I like Bruce and find him to be quite funny.

What I don't like is that he has about 5 stories that he beats to death in every interview. The Osmonds, the Bradys and Paul Lynde aren't exactly hot topics today.

Also criticizing other peoples looks should be avoided by somebody as ugly as Bruce.

He really is a showbiz treasure. A very nice guy as well, always engaged and a wonderful listener, which is a welcome trait these days!

R49- I think in private he's a BITTER SELF HATING qween.

A friend of mine worked on a show with him.

They were on a panel together.

Said he was very nice and took an interest in what was going on in my friend's career, which isn't always the case.

And, needless to say, he wasn't being nice to try to get into her pants.

Streisand wanted him to supply material for her concert banter, but would not meet his price.

Barbra is known to be a cheapskate, but to be fair I don't know what he was charging her.

I was asked by a famous singer to write banter for her show.

When we got to discuss price, she said, "I thought you would just get a kick out of me saying your words."

And that was the end of that.

r53: That sounds right.

He's a GAY version of Mason Reece

I like him......but he looks like Sylvia Browne.......

Datalounge people watch this little gem. A young Bruce Vilanch in a scene from Mahogany.

As a young twink in the very early 70's, I dated a bartender who worked at a bar on Chicago's Rush street known to attract the theater crowd. Bruce would hang out there when he was in town and talk nonstop to anyone who would listen. This is the same bar a skinny, nerdy piano player (Barry Manilow) would come in and try to chat up the cute boys after his set at Mr Lucky's down the street.

Jesus, he was always fat and ugly.

R57 I can't quite tell if Miss Ross is annoyed with Bruce Vilanch the character or Bruce Vilanch the person when she shoots him a withering look when he seems to mishandle a prop page.

I assume Bruce Vilanch the person, as Miss Ross was good, but she was THAT good an actor.

Bruce does read DL, not sure if he posts. Will ask his ex.

Here's why he always wears tight graphic t-shirts. Becaaue its his rite as a gay man. Is he a pretty boy? Does he have a t-shirt body? No and no. But he is still a gay man, and that's what a huge swath of gay men wear. I admire his commitment and the statement he's making.

Very well connected in Hollywood and also very approachable, and the conversation isn't always about him. I would say he wrote every single word of Bette Midler's quip-filled Best Song Academy Award presentation spiel (c. appx 1983) that was all anybody talked about the next day.

Well if he is Bette's bestie and she is known to be horrible ....

Big as a house!

He isn't Bette's bestie, but unlike Barbra Bette will pay.

[quote]Jesus, he was always fat and ugly.

It’s that neck/throat area that makes him hard to look at.

I remember seeing him in the early 80s at Westbeth where he did an opening number called "We're the Queens Behind the Scenes". Hilarious.

This thread is getting on my nerves and I'm down to my LAST diet pill.

I wonder if he still gets laid or EVER got laid

After those photos, I'm ready to put Lainie Kazan on a celebrity death list. She looks HORRIBLE and is using a walker.

It looks like he’s lost some weight, hence the saggy neck area.

[quote]a car honk it's horn,

Oh, dear.

[quote]Becaaue its his rite as a gay man.

Oh, DEAR!

I saw him at The Abbey once in one of those VIP areas surrounded by a bunch of young guys who were hanging on his every word. Clearly LA guys value fame and money over looks.

I know he always has a t-shirt for everything, funny with the Chinese balloon

He said in an interview that he has a big cock.

[quote]He said in an interview that he has a big cock.

Like Nappa leather seats in a Yugo.

I can make any straight person laugh if the topic of Bruce Vilanch comes up by lisping the phrase "Get Bruuuuce!" in a stereotypical gay manner.

R75, which he hasn't seen since puberty.