I'm the clashing of canes over the last slice of nutloaf.
Let's Be An Epic Lesbian Movie
|by Anonymous||reply 76||March 21, 2023 10:40 PM|
I'm the u-haul that never arrives at it's destination
|by Anonymous||reply 1||February 22, 2023 12:51 PM|
I'm the day without dyke drama... only to discover she was str8 the entire time.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||February 22, 2023 12:57 PM|
OP is the never ending queefing that gets all the girls all amorous.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||February 22, 2023 1:00 PM|
I'm the documentary for Erasure fans. Lesbian Erasure Fans.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||February 22, 2023 1:01 PM|
Lezzies aren't into Erasure. Are ya drunk?
|by Anonymous||reply 5||February 22, 2023 1:02 PM|
I'm the bed... nothing happens.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||February 22, 2023 1:05 PM|
I’m the café open-mic quality of the singer-songwriter tracks on the OST. Many middle-aged bedreaded white women sing in my yelping earnest style.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||February 22, 2023 1:13 PM|
I'm the weathered, mysterious sage who manages, but doesn't own, the neighborhood pawn shop. Whenever the protagonist scrapes enough money together to buy back her dead mother's ring, I'm always waiting with a "hang in their, girl" message of support.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||February 22, 2023 1:19 PM|
I'm the coveted bread pudding and loaded baked potatoes
|by Anonymous||reply 9||February 22, 2023 1:25 PM|
I'm the underwear of my one true love bunched up on the floor... I know we connected but I can't remember her name or what she looks like. I'll have to scour the city to match the dirty pair to find my queen.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||February 22, 2023 1:27 PM|
I'm the last butch in a world of femmes.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||February 22, 2023 1:35 PM|
I'm the pick up truck chasing the Subaru scene with a closeup of a Birkenstock on the accelerator pedal.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||February 22, 2023 1:37 PM|
I'm the main character who knows everything, is more capable than anyone else, has no discernable flaws, and makes sassy derogatory jokes to my hapless male assistants while I save the day single handedly.
I make it look easy!
|by Anonymous||reply 13||February 22, 2023 1:39 PM|
I’m all of the symbolic imagery…..clams, flannel shirts, cans of tuna, hairy armpits, and sagging tits.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||February 22, 2023 1:52 PM|
I'm Captain Marvel's girlfriend.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||February 22, 2023 1:52 PM|
Women talking. I watched that this morning. Goddamn. Horrifying, they aren't Lesbians, but you watch that movie, know that its true and then forget it. I never should have watched it.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||February 22, 2023 1:56 PM|
I'm 'Foxfire'. I was released 28 years ago, and there has never been a sapphic film to equal me made since.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||March 3, 2023 10:48 PM|
I'm the soundtrack made up of 100 CPAP machines humming in unison.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||March 3, 2023 10:57 PM|
Don't forget the Doc Martens. Every lezzy must have a couple pairs.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||March 3, 2023 10:59 PM|
I'm the scene where the drunk frat bro grabs the femme's ass as she walks past a bar, and the butch, walking a few paces behind her, takes on him and three other frat bros and administers an epic beatdown to all four without breaking a sweat (though she does break a few bottles over their heads).
She concludes with a brief lecture on the male gaze and the perils of underestimating the sisterhood.
In the audience, many husky hoots and hollers are heard in solidarity.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||March 3, 2023 11:03 PM|
R20 am blushing and giggling and kicking my feet in the air rn
|by Anonymous||reply 21||March 3, 2023 11:05 PM|
I'm "Julie d'Aubigny"! I'm a historical film about a real-life lesbian who sang opera, fought duels, cross-dressed, and seduced nuns! I was the badass of 19th century France, and every man who ever felt my fist or my sword muthafucking knew it!
Why the hell did they make the dull "Gentleman Jim", instead of a story about me. 90% of that shitshow was Jim haggling about money.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||March 4, 2023 12:59 AM|
I'm Dykes To Watch Out For finally being made into a live action film and convincing someone to do a series.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||March 4, 2023 2:18 AM|
We're the extras performing Amish clogging in the background during the climactic barn dance scene. Wardrobe saved a bunch of money on our account -- because we just brought our own shoes that we wear when performing this at all our home get-togethers!
|by Anonymous||reply 24||March 4, 2023 4:37 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 25||March 4, 2023 4:48 AM|
The glamour lesbian sister brought over the lGerman-made lesbian film Aime and Jaguar to watch together. The husbear and I gave each other side eye, but the film turned out to be excellent.
True story of a Nazi officer's wife with 4 kids who falls in love with a woman she later learns is a Jew.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||March 4, 2023 6:19 AM|
I'm the annoying character played by Kate McKinnon.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||March 4, 2023 6:21 AM|
I'm the howls in the distance of the she-wolves baying for blood at the menstrual moon.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||March 4, 2023 6:51 PM|
I'm the toilet seat that must be kept down at all times.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||March 4, 2023 7:15 PM|
[quote]I'm the annoying character played by Kate McKinnon.
With an inexplicable Australian accent, because some idiot told her she was good at doing them.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||March 4, 2023 7:41 PM|
I'm the 1990s. Lesbian films were good while I was alive.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||March 5, 2023 8:34 PM|
R11 and I am the last high-femme in a gangland of butches😔
|by Anonymous||reply 32||March 6, 2023 12:57 PM|
I'm the convent school girl who becomes a nun...
|by Anonymous||reply 33||March 7, 2023 2:34 AM|
I’m the lack of sleeves
|by Anonymous||reply 34||March 7, 2023 2:43 AM|
I’m the moment in which a piece of fruit is erotically consumed. There’s always one.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||March 7, 2023 11:38 AM|
I’m Asuka. I have saved and defends and protected and inspired every damsel in the Tokyo Prefecture..except myself.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||March 8, 2023 2:38 PM|
I'm the tastefully simulated passion
|by Anonymous||reply 37||March 8, 2023 3:18 PM|
R34 isn't it sleeves rolled to or past the elbow? That's what I always heard was the stereotype. Though I guess vests and ripped-off sleeves are very butch.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||March 8, 2023 4:01 PM|
I am the lack of any men, and any male dialogue, and any plot point involving men.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||March 8, 2023 10:39 PM|
I'm Denise, a plucky womon with an entrepreneurial spirit!
|by Anonymous||reply 40||March 8, 2023 10:46 PM|
I’m the lingering looks between the eyes. The camera isn’t wholly focused on tits.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||March 9, 2023 11:44 AM|
I’m the better production values than what the boys get. My films aren’t released through WOLFE video or Breaking Glass.
I can therefore afford a director of photography and an actor that can walk and talk
|by Anonymous||reply 42||March 9, 2023 11:49 AM|
I'm the terrifying degree of overanalysing the most minute low-stakes shit.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||March 10, 2023 1:07 AM|
I'm the soccer ball.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||March 11, 2023 2:00 AM|
I'm the proud swagger after getting my girlfriend off.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||March 11, 2023 3:00 AM|
I’m the gratuitous and superfluous twunk. I’m just random eye candy to get gay men and straight women to see this movie.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||March 11, 2023 11:39 AM|
I'm another Oscar ready to be grasped by one Ms, Blanchett.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||March 11, 2023 1:45 PM|
I'm the end credits folksy song, a duet between Melissa Etheridge and k.d. lang.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||March 11, 2023 3:11 PM|
I'm the bi woman who's only been with men, and who's never climaxed like this, if at all!
|by Anonymous||reply 49||March 12, 2023 5:48 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 50||March 12, 2023 9:45 PM|
I’ve stated my boundaries. Clearly.
|by Anonymous||reply 51||March 12, 2023 9:53 PM|
I’m the old sage played by a big star, most likely Kathy Bates, who makes a surprise appearance about 15 minutes from the end. I’ve been hanging on to a love letter that holds a secret, or some such thing, that will allow the protagonist to piece everything together.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||March 12, 2023 9:54 PM|
I’m all the hairs in Donna’s teeth after she eats out 20 lezzies lined up pussy-by-pussy.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||March 13, 2023 5:47 AM|
I'm the Autostraddle staff, redefining the movie as "queer" rather than "lesbian", and gnashing our teeth at the lack of representation of any number of things that make us feel superior to point out.
|by Anonymous||reply 54||March 13, 2023 7:48 PM|
R54 ugh Auto are the fucking worst. And they've been the fucking worst for a good several years. Up there with PinkNews for awful.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||March 13, 2023 8:27 PM|
I'm the title; Salome and Her Dance of the Seven Chins
|by Anonymous||reply 56||March 13, 2023 8:29 PM|
R56 idk plenty of straight middle-aged and elderfrauen have jowls aplenty, it's not a lesbian marker
|by Anonymous||reply 57||March 13, 2023 8:50 PM|
R55, I sympathise! I’m a gay man but even I can see how terrible they are. In the right mood they are hilarious to laugh at because the things they say are so stupid, but you can also see how damaging they can be too. I see why so many lesbians are pissed off with them.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||March 13, 2023 9:13 PM|
[quote]ugh Auto are the fucking worst.
They are running a fundraiser now, and say they need $175K in the next two weeks or they won't survive! That seems incredibly steep for that short period of time, surely they're not going to raise that much from their readers? How on earth do they stay afloat?
Also, whenever they do these fundraisers, they're so obnoxious about it. No gratitude, just: "you owe us this money" type speak.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||March 16, 2023 9:03 PM|
I’m the gamine baby dyke with a pixie cut and a taste for revenge.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||March 16, 2023 9:52 PM|
R60 oh you don't even need to cue up a 2 hour film for that..
|by Anonymous||reply 61||March 16, 2023 10:04 PM|
I'm the homoerotic haircut scene
|by Anonymous||reply 62||March 17, 2023 5:54 AM|
I'm the all-girls' school. Lesbianism blossoms within my walls.
|by Anonymous||reply 63||March 17, 2023 5:14 PM|
I’m vampiresses. I’m never out of style or passé.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||March 18, 2023 3:00 PM|
I'm Little Darlings, an epic lesbian movie that didn't start out that way...
|by Anonymous||reply 65||March 19, 2023 5:37 AM|
If this is a mainstream movie, then I'm the random silken draperies blowing around during the love scenes.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||March 19, 2023 4:32 PM|
[quote]They are running a fundraiser now, and say they need $175K in the next two weeks or they won't survive! That seems incredibly steep for that short period of time, surely they're not going to raise that much from their readers?
Well, as of today (that is, it's been three days since the above was posted) they have apparently raised $173,328.66! How on earth does an indie publication do that?
|by Anonymous||reply 67||March 19, 2023 7:54 PM|
I'm Sara "They/Them" Ramirez, the star of the movie.
I'm what makes this dyke flick an EPIC.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||March 19, 2023 11:47 PM|
I’m the masculine, athletic but still sexy lesbian who runs around in a 1979 tank too and running short outfit the entire movie
|by Anonymous||reply 69||March 19, 2023 11:57 PM|
I'm the delicious teaching/learning how to kiss under false pretenses, and the ensuing heartache after everything's been said and done.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||March 20, 2023 12:47 AM|
I am starring in it.
|by Anonymous||reply 71||March 20, 2023 2:51 AM|
I'm the rubber, battery-operated phallus that steals the spotlight when it becomes accidentally activated during an otherwise serious moment. No actual penetration is shown on screen.
|by Anonymous||reply 72||March 21, 2023 2:06 AM|
I am also starring in it
|by Anonymous||reply 73||March 21, 2023 2:12 AM|
I’m Drew Gregory’s endless complaints in his Autostraddle/Letterboxd reviews that the lesbian movie contains too many mentions of vagina and *gasp* no mention of penis and how this is incredibly problematic!
|by Anonymous||reply 74||March 21, 2023 9:43 PM|
Letterboxd, like DL, is one of those '10% worth suffering and dying for' sites. When it's good, it's fucking fantastic. But it's not usually good.
|by Anonymous||reply 75||March 21, 2023 10:24 PM|
(I know it’s off topic, R75, but any advice on where to look for the fantastic side of it? I haven’t had much luck there yet - and certainly not with Drew’s ‘faggoty’ reviews!)
|by Anonymous||reply 76||March 21, 2023 10:40 PM|