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“Sorry, I only date hairy guys”

Have you ever gotten a brush off so specific? Although this happened last month, I’m still wondering about.

I went to a holiday party and hit it off with a nice guy. We laughed alot and had much in common. At the end of the party, I just commented, “We should grab a drink or coffee together something.” He stopped, had a quizzical look on his face, and then said “Sorry, I only date hairy guys.” He didn’t say it in a mean way or anything—it was very matter of fact.

How can anyone be so specific on whom they date?

by Anonymousreply 118February 11, 2023 3:30 PM

It was probably a white lie. Unless you were at the nude love-in, it's impossible for this total stranger to know just how hairy you might be underneath your clothes. But he said this anyway, which suggests it's merely random verbiage.

Some people are very specific in who they date. They typically die alone. You can do better.

by Anonymousreply 1January 26, 2023 5:33 PM

I don’t date guys who don’t know that “alot” is not a word.

by Anonymousreply 2January 26, 2023 5:34 PM

He has a type, OP, like pretty much everyone else on the planet. You're not his type.

by Anonymousreply 3January 26, 2023 5:35 PM

He won't even have a coffee with you if you aren't hairy? Does he even have any platonic friends who don't look like Chewbacca?

by Anonymousreply 4January 26, 2023 5:40 PM

I once went on a date and the other guy said he wouldn't see me again because I wore glasses. Yes it may have been an excuse, but it was utterly bizarre. It's not as if they were stapled to my face and never came off.

by Anonymousreply 5January 26, 2023 5:49 PM

How can anyone be so naive as OP to marvel about something so mundane and routine as people having very narrow criteria for physical attraction.

And we have had eleventy zillion discussions among gays about how rigid many gay men are about who they will and won't fuck.

So if you are really so clueless, you're damaged goods, too, OP. Just like the guy you are trying to put down.

by Anonymousreply 6January 26, 2023 5:55 PM

Many of these same weirdos will come onto places like DL and whine about how nobody wants to date them and it's impossible to find a real connection.

It's not impossible, you stupid cunts! But there is no settling down without some settling for! Every relationship takes work, and compromise, and putting up with weird shit you never saw when you were single.

by Anonymousreply 7January 26, 2023 5:56 PM

It was a nice way of saying “ not in million years.”

by Anonymousreply 8January 26, 2023 5:59 PM

Weird reply, but take the hint, OP. He's not interested.

by Anonymousreply 9January 26, 2023 6:02 PM

[quote] I don’t date guys who don’t know that “alot” is not a word.

It's had a century of common use. It's a word

by Anonymousreply 10January 26, 2023 6:24 PM

While many people have a type, how exclusive to that exact type can we all really be?

Someone only dates hairy guys restricts the potential pool drastically

by Anonymousreply 11January 26, 2023 6:32 PM

R11 and water is wet.

by Anonymousreply 12January 26, 2023 6:41 PM

OP are you 67 look 42?

by Anonymousreply 13January 26, 2023 6:42 PM

He didn't want you to know it was your harelip and how you wore your ostomy bag outside your pants, OP.

Be kind about it. He tried.

by Anonymousreply 14January 26, 2023 6:43 PM

“Alot” people also say “hot water heater.”

by Anonymousreply 15January 26, 2023 6:48 PM

I want to date R2.

by Anonymousreply 16January 26, 2023 7:04 PM

Otters ‘n’ wolves, they’s my favorites!

by Anonymousreply 17January 26, 2023 7:06 PM

[Quote] “Alot” people also say “hot water heater.

Oh, the horror!

by Anonymousreply 18January 26, 2023 7:15 PM

You can have R2, R16… R15 is mine! ❤️

by Anonymousreply 19January 26, 2023 7:25 PM

But he has left off the "of". 🤡😵‍💫

by Anonymousreply 20January 26, 2023 7:26 PM

Boundaries stated. Move on.

by Anonymousreply 21January 26, 2023 7:40 PM

How dare he not be attracted to you, OP!

by Anonymousreply 22January 26, 2023 7:45 PM

I wasn't asking him out, but a guy I was talking to at The Eagle one afternoon boasted to me that he only dated guys with PhDs because he had one and he needed someone who was his intellectual equal.

Later that evening, we saw him driving the wrong way down a clearly marked one way street.

by Anonymousreply 23January 26, 2023 7:50 PM

One time I got hit on by a guy and he kept telling me how sexy freckles on shoulders were. When he finally got it out of me that I had no shoulder freckles, he pretty much turned and walked away.

by Anonymousreply 24January 26, 2023 7:55 PM

Sex clubs and bath houses. There's a couple minutes of undeniable attraction. You or he moves in for the hookup. One or the other doesn't have the required feature or kink. End of story. Routine.

by Anonymousreply 25January 26, 2023 7:58 PM

A few times, OP.

One told me he only liked Asian bears at the end of our date....which was clearly not me, so I just shrugged and said "Thanks for dinner!" and left it at that.

Another saw photos of me that were very accurate and still, at the end of the date, tried to lecture me that I wasn't what he thought I'd be. To which I replied, dude, you had the most revealing photos I own that aren't nudes, if you didn't clearly understand who you were meeting that's YOUR issue. (He apparently expected some sort of paragon of raging butchness, and while I'm not the swishiest, I'm also not giving the Bounty paper towel guy a run for his money, either.)

Both of those were in the early 00s. Fuck, I'm so glad I'm not single.

by Anonymousreply 26January 26, 2023 8:03 PM

[quote]It's had a century of common use. It's a word

Yeah, no.

If anything it’s had maybe 10-20 years of usage when people started with social media and then you really got a look at how dumb most people are.

by Anonymousreply 27January 26, 2023 8:14 PM

OP, that guy's comment was weird anyway - why did he assume it had to be a date?

by Anonymousreply 28January 26, 2023 8:19 PM

He should have just responded with a loud hiss... it gets the message across so much less ambiguously.

by Anonymousreply 29January 26, 2023 8:24 PM

“Sorry, I only date tops.”


by Anonymousreply 30January 26, 2023 8:37 PM

Seriously, though. He probably only dates specific daddy-types and didn’t think you fit the type.

by Anonymousreply 31January 26, 2023 8:40 PM

[quote]I wasn't asking him out, but a guy I was talking to at The Eagle one afternoon boasted to me that he only dated guys with PhDs because he had one and he needed someone who was his intellectual equal.

Sometimes getting a PhD is like getting welfare for the academically inclined.

by Anonymousreply 32January 26, 2023 8:44 PM

R10 duckling the point was that it’s actually 2 words, a lot, which is what people actually use.

by Anonymousreply 33January 26, 2023 8:47 PM

You can have them - I prefer smooth with trimmed pubes.

by Anonymousreply 34January 26, 2023 9:03 PM

We all have dealbreakers OP. Move on.

by Anonymousreply 35January 26, 2023 9:07 PM

[quote] If anything it’s had maybe 10-20 years of usage when people started with social media and then you really got a look at how dumb most people are.

Seriously? You truly believe "alot" only showed up with social media?

by Anonymousreply 36January 26, 2023 9:16 PM

It didn’t “only show up” there, but it became much more ubiquitous, leading people to believe it’s an actual word.

It’s not.

by Anonymousreply 37January 26, 2023 9:29 PM

Purists have been screaming about "alot" for the entire 50 years of my life. Social media has nothing to do with it.

People use it constantly in speech so think if it as one word. In fact if someone nowadays saw "a lot" on a page, they'd have to think twice.

by Anonymousreply 38January 26, 2023 9:54 PM

“Alot” is a dead giveaway that I’m dealing with an idiot, R10.

I’ll bet that you say “would of”, “could of” and “should of”, along with “abit”, “asmuch” and “aswell”.

by Anonymousreply 39January 26, 2023 9:58 PM

Nobody with any brain cells uses "alot".

It's "a lot."



by Anonymousreply 40January 26, 2023 10:00 PM

^Gramps continues to bray

by Anonymousreply 41January 26, 2023 10:01 PM

R41 Run back to work, basic bitch. Those Wendyburgers aren't going to fly through the drive-thru window on their own!

by Anonymousreply 42January 26, 2023 10:02 PM

[quote] duckling the point

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 43January 26, 2023 10:10 PM

I only date fatties

by Anonymousreply 44January 26, 2023 10:12 PM

How does this whole "alot" thing work, really? Do people make potential fuck partners spell out the word at the bar, just to check? Are there little cocktail napkins with "alot" on them all over Manhattan, each one silently screaming UNFUCKABLE!

by Anonymousreply 45January 26, 2023 10:21 PM

R44 Swap out "Asian twunks" or "BBC Fuck Gods" and you'll have the full gamut of this shithouse website.

by Anonymousreply 46January 26, 2023 10:30 PM

I'm the town bicycle and everyone's had a ride.

Many men have used me like toilet tissue. You could even say....ALOT

by Anonymousreply 47January 26, 2023 10:37 PM

eh fuck, that should read R45

by Anonymousreply 48January 26, 2023 10:37 PM

This is code for I only date white / middle eastern guys.

by Anonymousreply 49January 26, 2023 10:42 PM

Or as mentioned: tops.

by Anonymousreply 50January 26, 2023 10:42 PM

[quote]People use it constantly in speech so think if it as one word.

Right--so you can tell the difference between "alot" and "a lot" when they're being spoken? Dumbest thing I've read today.

by Anonymousreply 51January 26, 2023 10:42 PM

Basically - he didn't find you attractive OP. End of story. What's the issue?

by Anonymousreply 52January 26, 2023 10:42 PM

[quote] Right--so you can tell the difference between "alot" and "a lot" when they're being spoken? Dumbest thing I've read today.

Not dumber than what you wrote in that sentence

by Anonymousreply 53January 26, 2023 10:44 PM

Yup, took alot of men to make me Shanghai Lily. Here, let me spell it out for you r48.

by Anonymousreply 54January 26, 2023 10:44 PM

I can probably Better that. Chatted to a guy a few times on grindr. He is from Chille. He lives less than a km from me. I asked if he was free and he said, I dont date Europeans!!!! I often tell guys, if he is young, that i like much older and vice versa and try let them down gently. Some pick at the excuse and push it to the point where im almost about to say, Ok i just dont fancy u..now, u made me say it. But nobody likes rejection, so how come everyone isnt empathetic to it...sone gays are downright cruel...meangirls.

by Anonymousreply 55January 26, 2023 10:48 PM

OP, you dodged a bullet. That guy is shallow, and incapable or uninterested in actual emotional intimacy.

Emotionally authentic, available people, when they feel a "click" with someone, would be open to exploring that connection. Shallow/emotionally stunted people keep the focus on the physical and place little value the emotional and intellectual aspects of relating. When someone is so hyper-specific about a physical requirement that it's a total dealbreaker, it's an indication that they would not be the kind of person you want to get too attached to. There's no "there" there.

It's a shitty feeling to be flatly rejected by someone that you had an obvious instant click with. But as they say, rejection is God's protection. He's not YOUR type.

by Anonymousreply 56January 26, 2023 10:53 PM

Buck never would have dated only hairy guys.

by Anonymousreply 57January 26, 2023 11:37 PM

I had one guy at the end of a blind date set up by friends instead of saying 'It was a very nice to have met you. Goodbye.' say with a very dejected look 'I thought I was going to meet Mr. Wonderful.'

by Anonymousreply 58January 26, 2023 11:41 PM

I only like white cut cocked 8” and bigger

by Anonymousreply 59January 26, 2023 11:45 PM

Dayum, r58. I’m sorry about that.

Well, fuck him because you’re OUR Mr. Wonderful. He don’t know what he’s missing.

by Anonymousreply 60January 26, 2023 11:46 PM

[quote]People use it constantly in speech so think if it as one word.

Oh, FFS!

by Anonymousreply 61January 26, 2023 11:47 PM

OP, you need to get a chest wig and then show up outside his house shirtless!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 62January 26, 2023 11:48 PM

And just like that, fellas, *BAM* I fell head over heels for r62!

by Anonymousreply 63January 26, 2023 11:51 PM

[quote]Chatted to a guy a few times on grindr. He is from Chille.

Where the hell is “Chille”? Do they make chili there?

by Anonymousreply 64January 26, 2023 11:53 PM

R64, they make alot of chili in Chille.

by Anonymousreply 65January 26, 2023 11:55 PM

[quote] Do people make potential fuck partners spell out the word at the bar, just to check? Are there little cocktail napkins with "alot" on them

I really like this idea… A LOT! It would make not just dating easier, but meeting people casually/in general as well.

Two thumbs up!

by Anonymousreply 66January 26, 2023 11:58 PM

Chile isn't chilly ... as a rule.

by Anonymousreply 67January 27, 2023 12:02 AM

Oh, OP. It could have been worse. He could have said: "Sorry, I only date guys with big dicks."

by Anonymousreply 68January 27, 2023 12:21 AM

^^^^ or tight holes

by Anonymousreply 69January 27, 2023 12:27 AM

Years ago, when I first discovered Craigslist personals, I met a guy who turned out to look like a troll.

I sat in his living room and, as we talked, he kept scratching his crotch.

He asked, "Want to go to bed?"

I said, to get out of the situation, "I don't sleep with someone the first time I meet them." and then quickly headed for the door.

by Anonymousreply 70January 27, 2023 1:04 AM

^^^ Was it that he looked like a troll, or you had already had crabs for dinner that made you run away like a little girl?

by Anonymousreply 71January 27, 2023 1:20 AM

R23, PhDs by far are some of the most unjustifiably arrogant cunts I have encountered. I say this as a lawyer in NYC with plenty of well-educated friends with post-graduate degrees.

Most of them basically spend as much time as they need to finish their programs while doing solo research on a topic that they choose. Try being put a shark tank with other extremely competitive students where out of 100 only 4-5 are permitted to get As… (aka my first year of law school). And your career prospects significantly hinge on your ability to get those As. That experience humbled the hell out of me.

by Anonymousreply 72January 27, 2023 1:37 AM

I don’t understand how no one has commented on why this weirdo needed to be so specific about the reason (or alleged one) to basically a stranger. Whenever I hear homos like this give very specific feedback that wasn’t even solicited (OP didn’t ask him why, at least per the post) I just assume the speaker is extremely self-centered and probably a huge narcissist. “This stranger NEEDS to know the exact reason why I don’t find him attractive enough for a coffee!!”

Jesus, whatever happened to just simple white lies or being politely evasive.

by Anonymousreply 73January 27, 2023 1:44 AM

R73 - a few posters have speculated the “hairy” was a white lie - to cover for “ugly,” “obnoxious” or whatever the real reason the guy wasn’t attracted to OP.

by Anonymousreply 74January 27, 2023 1:51 AM

R74, idk, maybe I’m just sensitive / too polite / old school with these things, but I think it’s uncalled for or plain rude to tell someone (unsolicited) that they lack a particular physical characteristic (hairiness or otherwise) that you find attractive or value.

Again, much different story if OP were aggressive, specifically asking why, or followed up again after an initial polite rejection.

by Anonymousreply 75January 27, 2023 1:59 AM

We’re not saying the guy was a real Charm Bucket R75 - just that hairy could have been a clumsy cover for something perhaps even more rude.

by Anonymousreply 76January 27, 2023 2:09 AM

Much easier to use my standard in these circumstances: “I’m just feeling a connection, but thanks for a nice night”.

It’s honest while being unequivocal.

by Anonymousreply 77January 27, 2023 2:27 AM

Argh! “I’m just not feeling a connection” is what I meant to say.

by Anonymousreply 78January 27, 2023 2:28 AM

I love hairy guys. Whenever I had long term relationships with smooth guys, I’d cheat just to get turned on by hairy gays.

So then I realized that I should just only date hairy guys.

And now I have a hairy partner of 5 years whom I’ve never even considered cheating on.

by Anonymousreply 79January 27, 2023 2:42 AM

[quote] a few posters have speculated the “hairy” was a white lie - to cover for “ugly,” “obnoxious” or whatever the real reason the guy wasn’t attracted to OP.

“Aww, thanks. You’re sweet and if I wasn’t seeing someone, I’d definitely take you up on that offer.”

Not too difficult.

by Anonymousreply 80January 27, 2023 2:47 AM

[quote]I'm just not feeling an erection.

by Anonymousreply 81January 27, 2023 2:58 AM

I’m just not feeling YOUR erection.


by Anonymousreply 82January 27, 2023 3:00 AM

Once someone told me in a Sauna when we were hooking up that normally he hooks up with muscle, black guys with big cocks. I was like "you're not very good at this whole bathhouse thing then, are you".

By the way, I'm white, doughy and have an average cock at best.

by Anonymousreply 83January 27, 2023 3:06 AM

But your sense of humor sells it, r83.

You sound like a cool guy.

by Anonymousreply 84January 27, 2023 3:22 AM

"I don’t date guys who don’t know that “alot” is not a word."

The only guys you 'date' charge by the hour.

by Anonymousreply 85January 27, 2023 3:29 AM

IMO, "I only date hairy guys" is not hurtful to the rejected person. Nobody's wasting anybody's time.

I've been insulted way worse.

Better than the poster upthread who paid for some guy's dinner. End of dinner, guy says: I'm only interested in Asian bears.

by Anonymousreply 86January 27, 2023 3:38 AM

Triggered by the illiteracy, R85?

by Anonymousreply 87January 27, 2023 3:45 AM

OP, you dodged a bullet. The bitch sounds superficial and presumptuous…coffee isn’t a fucking marriage proposal.

Move on.

by Anonymousreply 88January 27, 2023 4:10 AM

People are horrid. You are so much better off without that jackass.

by Anonymousreply 89January 27, 2023 4:13 AM

I'm curious, OP: Was the dude hairy or hairless?

by Anonymousreply 90January 27, 2023 6:24 AM

[quote] Where the hell is “Chille”? Do they make chili there

It's right next to North!

by Anonymousreply 91January 27, 2023 7:18 AM

[quote]Yeah, no.

R27? I think anyone who would say/write such a nonsensical expression isn't the sharpest knife is the drawer, either.

by Anonymousreply 92January 27, 2023 7:44 AM

Spelling “a lot” as one word simply shows that the poster is not a reader (and also that they ignore the red line under their draft post indicating a spelling mistake).

[quote]”A lot” is a common phrase formed by combining the indefinite article “a” with the noun “lot” (“a considerable quantity or extent”).

[quote]Sometimes you will see the article run together with “lot” to form “alot,” but most usage experts would consider this an error.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 93January 27, 2023 9:02 AM

My friend is a Jewish guy that only dates Indian-Americans. He was set up on a date by his aunt with another Jewish guy.

In the middle of it, he blurted out, "Can we just end this date now? I don't date other Jewish guys."

by Anonymousreply 94January 27, 2023 1:59 PM

I often get rid of unwanted swains by tossing off a casual "Sorry--I only date midgets" since I have yet to see one in a gay venue.

by Anonymousreply 95January 27, 2023 4:54 PM

Hairy guys tend to go for other hairy guys.

by Anonymousreply 96January 27, 2023 5:40 PM

I love hairy guys but sadly there are fewer of them than smooth and smoothish men. They’re in demand so tend to get their pick

by Anonymousreply 97January 27, 2023 5:46 PM

OP he just wasn’t that into you.

by Anonymousreply 98January 27, 2023 5:47 PM

Isn’t that a shame, r97?

Seems to be the trend and I don’t get it. An acquaintance I know on Grindr, a very tall, masculine former jock with a nice pelt of hair on his chest and belly recently shaved it all off! I don’t know why.

by Anonymousreply 99January 27, 2023 5:51 PM

[quote] “Alot” is a dead giveaway that I’m dealing with an idiot, [R10]. I’ll bet that you say “would of”, “could of” and “should of”, along with “abit”, “asmuch” and “aswell”.

I'm not the person you keep harping against (nor am I r10), but it's pretty pathetic and pointless of you to fault somebody for things [bold]they haven't even written.[/bold]

Grow the fuck up.

by Anonymousreply 100January 27, 2023 5:53 PM

[quote]“Sorry, I only hate dairy guys”

by Anonymousreply 101January 29, 2023 12:57 AM

I would love to date only hairy guys—I even love guys with hairy backs. Nothing better than being fucked and looking up to see all that hair

by Anonymousreply 102January 29, 2023 4:49 AM

I do know guys who don’t date hairy guys. The hair turns them off

by Anonymousreply 103January 29, 2023 12:15 PM

r102 was raised by apes.

by Anonymousreply 104January 29, 2023 4:56 PM

I'm on the other end of this, being hairy - I'm not a lot of guys type, because they prefer smooth.

People have types, I do myself. I somewhat prefer smoother guys but wont turn down a hairier guy if he's slim and at least somewhat attractive

It is what it is.

by Anonymousreply 105January 29, 2023 8:54 PM

R105, Marry me, you ape

by Anonymousreply 106January 30, 2023 3:33 AM

I can't stand a hairy back. I was making out with a guy and put my hand under his shirt up his back and there was a lot of hair. We had another date where we went to the theater but when he realized sex was not happening again it was over.

by Anonymousreply 107February 2, 2023 10:11 AM

OP, I think you’d only feel worse if you knew what he really meant.

by Anonymousreply 108February 2, 2023 12:36 PM

It’s like when you meet a nice guy and the rapport seems promising and then you realise they’re into some fetish like latex or rubber or whatever which you have nothing to do with and could never interest them sexually, etc. because they’re more interested in a code and accoutrements than just interacting on an intimate level. Square peg, round hole, never gonna work.

by Anonymousreply 109February 2, 2023 12:40 PM

Is that line from a movie?

by Anonymousreply 110February 2, 2023 1:52 PM

On the right guy back hair, or a belly, can be more fun between the sheets than attractive on the streets.

by Anonymousreply 111February 4, 2023 3:51 PM

R107, I’ll take him!

by Anonymousreply 112February 4, 2023 4:36 PM

This has happened to me, but on Grindr when I was still "on the market". It's weird as a casual aside like this after an offer for coffee or whatever. I should think he has no real clue as to how hairy you may be.. or not. I've had many dates who'd assumed I'd be hairy all over, based strictly on my forearms, legs, beard, and hands..

I prefer hairy, though only my legs, hands, arms and wrists are... thankfully I found a hairy partner who doesn't share this same fetish. I had to convince him to stop trimming, and waxing his back. He finds it gross, yet is happy to oblige me.

Better luck next time OP!

by Anonymousreply 113February 11, 2023 9:11 AM

r39 no, an idiot is someone that more politely we would just say are socially ienpt and tightly wound as to demand and expect the world to cater to their perfectionist tendencies... and then go on to, prescribes a trait onto other people for things they could learn but perhaps did not have the proper instruction to and they were perfectly capable of teaching them otherwise.,. without a vein bulging on their body somewhere, again, recognizing how many people are afraid of being viewed as idiots that they will defend their usage to their dying breath if they are approached aggressively.

so, now that's settled...

team hairy

by Anonymousreply 114February 11, 2023 11:26 AM

[Quote] I had to convince him to stop trimming, and waxing his back. He finds it gross, yet is happy to oblige me.

It took some time, but I’ve convinced my bf not to wax his back too. I find it all such a turn on but is he complete baffled as to how.

For a while, he was mildly embarrassed to take his shirt off in public, and then noted so many others have started to keep it all natural too. Interestingly he’s noticed that tons more guys flirt with now that he’s stopped all the waxing and trimming. Yes, he’s sexy as fuck

by Anonymousreply 115February 11, 2023 11:47 AM

I don’t only date hairy guys but I LOVE hooking up with them. I recently hooked up with a guy who had hair all over. I was so turned on, I literally got high just looking at him

by Anonymousreply 116February 11, 2023 12:21 PM

Have you spent any time around gay men?

by Anonymousreply 117February 11, 2023 2:05 PM

While nearly all of my boyfriends where generally hairless (even the Italian American and the Greek American I dated), whenever I hook up for one time sex, it’s specifically with very hair guys

by Anonymousreply 118February 11, 2023 3:30 PM
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