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Let's be Johnny Depp

I'm the "unwanted" fame.

by Anonymousreply 72February 7, 2023 3:59 PM

I'm the penetrating odor. I'm a distinct mixture of BO, urine, and cigarette smoke.

by Anonymousreply 1January 25, 2023 12:41 PM

R1 for the win.

by Anonymousreply 2January 25, 2023 12:44 PM

I'm the body diary of tattoos.

by Anonymousreply 3January 25, 2023 12:46 PM

R1 Don't forget 2nd day alcohol.

by Anonymousreply 4January 25, 2023 1:57 PM

I am the ignorant, uneducated brat acting out from the sloshing, rotten guts and secret third liver.

by Anonymousreply 5January 25, 2023 2:19 PM

I’m the animatronic Jack Sparrows in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, forever young and fit as the real Johnny drifts into hideous old age.

by Anonymousreply 6January 25, 2023 2:31 PM

I'm The Ninth Gate, the only movie featuring a hot Depp.

by Anonymousreply 7January 25, 2023 2:38 PM

That necrotic liver and digestive system really hurts..

by Anonymousreply 8January 25, 2023 2:45 PM

I'm the meth fumes stuck in his unwashed hair.

by Anonymousreply 9January 25, 2023 3:26 PM

I’m the Mouseboy who fucked his daughter in order to get more roles and become even more famous.

by Anonymousreply 10January 25, 2023 3:28 PM

I'm the erectile dysfunction

by Anonymousreply 11January 25, 2023 3:34 PM

I'm his private island retreat. Suck it losers.

by Anonymousreply 12January 25, 2023 3:39 PM

I’m the depression and rage fits from decades of opiate, bento and cocaine addiction

by Anonymousreply 13January 25, 2023 4:31 PM

*benzo not bento

by Anonymousreply 14January 25, 2023 4:31 PM

I'm the hundreds of millions of squandered dollars down the shitter!

by Anonymousreply 15January 25, 2023 4:32 PM

We're the personality disorders.

by Anonymousreply 16January 25, 2023 4:43 PM

R14, have you seen recent pics?

I think ‘addicted to bento’ could stand.

by Anonymousreply 17January 25, 2023 4:44 PM

I'm the long list of ex lovers who were all once "the love of my life".

by Anonymousreply 18January 25, 2023 7:43 PM

I'm the "Winona Forever" tattoo, later changed to "Wino Forever."

by Anonymousreply 19January 25, 2023 8:27 PM

I’m the Cherokee blood which explains my once exquisite bone structure and makes me seem more interesting than I am.

by Anonymousreply 20January 25, 2023 8:49 PM

I'm the herpes medication and smegma.

by Anonymousreply 21January 25, 2023 9:02 PM

What a bunch of horrible, nasty losers you are DL.

Do we have some gullible Amber Squad cunts hanging around here? We may not like what Johnny's done to his looks but at least he was handsome and made his private island fortune himself. Amber barely made anything at all and then threw it away in her failed blackmail scam against Johnny.

Lesbians don't have the patience for the long con. Always calling the U-Hauls too soon.

by Anonymousreply 22January 25, 2023 9:09 PM

I'm the bandana. I come in many forms, colours, and smells.

by Anonymousreply 23January 25, 2023 9:11 PM

R22 He was extremely overpaid for those pirate movies. It's not like he's been worked to the bone for his fortune. A few months work in exchange for millions; he got paid 90 million for the last one.

by Anonymousreply 24January 25, 2023 9:17 PM

And how much has Jack fucking Sparrow earned for Disney? I hope Johnny took them to the cleaners for doing those films.

I never said it was backbreaking work. I said he made his "fuck you" money all by himself. He's no nepo baby. He's also a very nice, generous guy but he has his limits. Amber fucked around and found out.

by Anonymousreply 25January 25, 2023 9:21 PM

R22, you miss the irony of your post, don't you?

After an exhausting amount of "Depp vs Heard" threads last year, here we were having a nice 2023 moment where we were just roasting him (as we've done to him for years on DL, before Heard was in the picture) in a classic format ("Let's Be..."), and you had to roll in here to turn it into another courtroom rehash.

Oh, and since you apparently missed this conclusion that many of us reached last year: they are both rich, abusive trash. One just had to fork out less cash in damages, was declared the "winner", and has gone on some mind-boggling victory tour looking like this:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 26January 25, 2023 9:40 PM

R26, are you retarded?

Why would I care what you or anyone else decided about anything last year? Do you tailor all your posts to fall in line with what other people think? Do you have no actual thoughts of your own? How very odd.

I was having a perfectly fine time discussing what we were discussing in this thread, Jonny Depp, Pirates of the Carribbean and so forth. I don't require you or anyone else's instruction to discuss it differently nor do I need any suggestions from you at all.

You're that incredibly fucking tedious thread nanny who goes around trying to police everybody's posting, right? This is the Dataounge. Stop doing that.

by Anonymousreply 27January 25, 2023 9:47 PM

You're both insufferable.

by Anonymousreply 28January 25, 2023 9:53 PM

R25 He's not a nepo baby, but the only reason he broke into Hollywood is because his first wife had connections in the industry. She got him in touch with Nicholas Cage, who introduced him to agents and producers. Got the first role he ever auditioned for because the director's daughter thought he was cute. All of this good luck just because he had a nice face.

He had a terrible attitude when young and always thought he was too cool for acting. If he had to endlessly audition for commercials and bit parts, like other young actors desperate for work, there's no way he would have persevered.

The reason I mention his first wife is because Johnny made a big deal about Amber using him/his connections to further her career. It's okay for his first wife to help him, but it's terrible when Amber needs his help?

by Anonymousreply 29January 25, 2023 10:18 PM

She "needed his help" when she lied, set him up with false charges and tried to rip him off for millions and millions in a quickie divorce to stop her lies about him?

I'm glad Johnny didn't "help her" with that shit.

by Anonymousreply 30January 25, 2023 10:22 PM

R30 The unsealed court documents (which show Johnny in a very bad light) revealed that Amber was entitled to far more than the 7 million she got. If she's so desperate to take his millions, why did she refuse the higher offer? I'm not an Amber fan and know that she probably wanted him for money/connections, but I don't know why people act like it's so crazy that she could actually find him attractive. He was attractive well into his 40s; lots of young women still wanted him.

Anyone who paid attention to the legal mess can clearly see that Johnny Depp is a nightmare. He constantly accused her of cheating, despite having affairs himself. Urinated on her stuff and cut up the clothes in her wardrobe. Accused her of being a golddigger, but getting jealous when she worked. Wrote disgusting things about her to his friends. Mocked her for not having kids by 30, calling her over the hill. Being a control freak.

Even if you don't believe he hit her, his other behaviour make it obvious that he was emotionally abusive. He's a tyrant and also has a cult-like relationship with his staff and freaks out if anyone questions him in any way. He made his assistant smuggle drugs into Australia for him, not caring at all that if caught, the assistant could go to jail.

by Anonymousreply 31January 25, 2023 10:49 PM

Are the Hilaria fraus here?

Why can't we do a simple Let's Be thread?

by Anonymousreply 32January 25, 2023 11:44 PM

I'm the strange accent.

by Anonymousreply 33January 26, 2023 12:54 AM

[quote] Let's be Johnny Depp

I’m a total POS, I know it, and don’t give two fucks.

by Anonymousreply 34January 26, 2023 1:10 AM

I'm the blind eye.

by Anonymousreply 35January 26, 2023 1:51 AM

I’m the constipation from the drugs.

by Anonymousreply 36January 26, 2023 3:00 AM

I'm the stains. So, so many stains.

by Anonymousreply 37January 26, 2023 6:21 AM

I'm the talent, remarkably in someone so beautiful in his mid-20s, but rarely developed any further, and so it's now limited in his 50s.

by Anonymousreply 38January 26, 2023 7:06 AM

I'm the rock star friends.

by Anonymousreply 39January 26, 2023 12:26 PM

I'm the legal fees.

by Anonymousreply 40January 26, 2023 10:33 PM

I'm the recent album.

by Anonymousreply 41January 31, 2023 12:40 AM

I'm his teeth.

by Anonymousreply 42January 31, 2023 12:45 AM

I'm the post trial victory lap.

by Anonymousreply 43January 31, 2023 12:51 AM

I'm the $30,000 worth of fine wine that I guzzle every month. But I'll drink muscatel if I have to.

by Anonymousreply 44January 31, 2023 1:08 AM

I am the pretty boy looks coupled with barely passable talent that propelled me to stardom, while my less conventionally attractive but much more talented contemporaries had to settle for being character actors about five years into their careers.

by Anonymousreply 45January 31, 2023 1:13 AM

I’m the seething rage you see when you penetrate my eyes .

by Anonymousreply 46January 31, 2023 2:01 AM

Eww no

by Anonymousreply 47January 31, 2023 3:05 AM

I’m 27. The age my fans claim that I look.

by Anonymousreply 48January 31, 2023 3:11 AM

I'm the great beauty that once was...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 49January 31, 2023 3:13 AM

I’ve soiled myself

by Anonymousreply 50January 31, 2023 3:17 AM

I'm the natural good looks, opportunity and reputation that I've squandered.

by Anonymousreply 51January 31, 2023 3:17 AM

I'm the bizarre attraction to killers and weirdos like Leslie Van Houten and Damien Echols.

by Anonymousreply 52January 31, 2023 6:14 AM

I’m the brilliant and HIGHLY intelligent “actor”, who threw it all away, including true love, because of my mega-shitty, abusive mother, who was probably a sociopath, but I still believe I should love & revere her, when she afforded no such thing, to my sister, father, or me.

If I stopped boozing for at least 10 years, I’d still have a shot at something better & bigger than money.

Something that’s priceless, like true self love.

It’s hard to manifest my true, even schism like self into an intangible ideal, because my mother never demonstrably showed love towards us, hence never allowing us, or myself, to attach securely or organically in a healthy manner, to others.

If only I could overcome this?

I’d be the man I want everyone to desperately believe I am, because I genuinely AM that man, but I was taught to not believe it, or to believe anything within or outside of me, that indicated this to be true.

by Anonymousreply 53January 31, 2023 6:51 AM

p.s.

I want the best for Johnny.

Always have, always will.

by Anonymousreply 54January 31, 2023 6:54 AM

R53 I'm Johnny's deadbeat father who abandoned the family with their vicious mother, and I also hit my son. Somehow, only the mother is blamed for being abusive.

by Anonymousreply 55January 31, 2023 9:19 AM

I'm the ghost of Ezra Miller's future! 👻

by Anonymousreply 56January 31, 2023 9:31 AM

I’m his pairs of stinky pants that can stand up by themselves.

by Anonymousreply 57January 31, 2023 9:50 AM

I'm toothpaste and proper dental hygiene.

by Anonymousreply 58January 31, 2023 12:19 PM

[quote] I’ve soiled myself

Multiple times - I’m totally out of it and my shitter no longer works.

by Anonymousreply 59February 1, 2023 2:57 AM

I'm the groupies.

by Anonymousreply 60February 1, 2023 9:41 PM

I’m the unopened bars of soap and the expired cans of deodorant.

by Anonymousreply 61February 2, 2023 1:56 AM

I'm the greasy funk under the pile of bracelets that never come off. Even in the shower, which face it,he hasn't been sober enough to take since '09. So I mostly just float and jangle in a soup of his filth in the tub, praying he doesn't pull a Whitney

by Anonymousreply 62February 2, 2023 2:05 AM

I'm the $30,000 wine bill. Psst I'm actually coke and heroin.

by Anonymousreply 63February 2, 2023 2:07 AM

I'm the smudged eyeliner that gives a just-woke-up look.

by Anonymousreply 64February 2, 2023 2:05 PM

I'm the ascites.

by Anonymousreply 65February 2, 2023 2:44 PM

I'm the Truth. Are you here for Me? I am full of Betrayal.

by Anonymousreply 66February 7, 2023 9:10 AM

I'm Susan Downey, watching my husband bounce around the backyard playing the ukulele in a bunny rabbit suit and thinking "Well...this could be so much worse..."

by Anonymousreply 67February 7, 2023 9:12 AM

I am the hope of redemption, growing fainter with every passing day.

by Anonymousreply 68February 7, 2023 9:20 AM

I'm the Sauvage ad I feel like I've constantly been seeing for years and which still reads like 'Savage' at first glance.

by Anonymousreply 69February 7, 2023 9:25 AM

I am the person who used to be called Donkey Dick (really!), who was reputed to be extremely kind to fans, and who praised his partner Vanessa in the in the tenderest, most loving terms imaginable.

by Anonymousreply 70February 7, 2023 10:50 AM

I’m his rancid breath,the result of cigarettes, coffee and booze. Not to mention the lack of brushing between meals.

by Anonymousreply 71February 7, 2023 3:32 PM

R70 Johnny is the one who used to call himself Donkey Dick when checking into hotels instead of using his real name.

He also called Vanessa a pain in the ass, an albatross and an extortionate cunt.

by Anonymousreply 72February 7, 2023 3:59 PM
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