When do you consider somebody a lost cause?
My nephew is 25. He was working as a cruise ship mechanic but got fired because he failed a drug test (he's a recreational cocaine and canabis user). He's always coming up with get-rich-quick schemes, parties too much and dates crazy girls. He's now working in a casino, despite having a long-term gambling problem.
He got one of his flings pregnant. He'll be a father in two months, but has no interest in the baby and isn't in a relationship with the mother. He's still going out to clubs all the time, hooking up with girls, crashed his car into a ditch and got a DUI. He lives with a stoner roommate. When drunk, he's extremely careless and once fell on train tracks but was helped by a passerby.
He's always been this way, and never grew out of his teenage rebellion stage. According to his father (my brother), my nephew has a huge piggy bank with almost $100k inside--nobody knows how he got that money.
What about you? Do you know any lost causes?
|by Anonymous||reply 31||January 24, 2023 6:10 AM
Eventually you have to walk away for your own self preservation. You'll know when it's time.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||January 23, 2023 11:00 PM
When the rest of your family won't face up to the problem.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||January 23, 2023 11:01 PM
He won't change until he hits rock bottom - hey, that phrase can go with the other thread too!
|by Anonymous||reply 3||January 23, 2023 11:05 PM
Does the nephew have nude pics?
|by Anonymous||reply 4||January 23, 2023 11:06 PM
Lmao he's 25 and isn't hooked on opiates so I'd say he's a long way from a lost cause. You could simply not get involved you know?
|by Anonymous||reply 5||January 23, 2023 11:07 PM
My cousin—she’s highly educated but can’t hold a job. She’s truly a complete ditz.
I tried to give advice when we were younger but she just could never follow through. I have up
|by Anonymous||reply 6||January 23, 2023 11:08 PM
My pussy always acts up at night. I like to smack it around, see? Make it feel reeeeeal good.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||January 23, 2023 11:10 PM
R5 But what about the baby?
|by Anonymous||reply 8||January 23, 2023 11:13 PM
OP, I see so many red flags in your description I’m amazed your nephew hasn’t been gored by a bull.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||January 23, 2023 11:15 PM
At this point I would consider the 25 year old nephew a bad risk, not a lost cause.
Step back from anything to do with him and wait to see if he straightens up and matures. Not everyone chooses to do that but some people just get to it very late. Detach and watch.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||January 23, 2023 11:15 PM
The worst EST brother ever!
|by Anonymous||reply 11||January 23, 2023 11:22 PM
Someone is a "lost cause" when other people's attempts to change or influence them have no chance of succeeding or when they're simply a cause not worth fighting for anymore.
The nephew was a lost cause a long time ago, OP.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||January 23, 2023 11:27 PM
You don’t force change unless you’re a prison
You must want to change,
|by Anonymous||reply 14||January 23, 2023 11:28 PM
R4 No, but he is rather good looking. Like a young Vlado Kalember.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||January 23, 2023 11:41 PM
I have a suggestion, but you're about nineteen years too late.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||January 23, 2023 11:48 PM
It's possible, but unlikely he will ever change. I have had personal experience with these types. Save yourself.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||January 23, 2023 11:49 PM
I can't believe the number of people who are on drugs these days, both street drugs and prescription. It seems to be much higher than in the past.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||January 23, 2023 11:52 PM
He’s only 25. Plenty of time to clean up his act. But the motivation needs to come from within himself. Nothing you or anybody else can do.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||January 23, 2023 11:55 PM
-When you can't believe a word they say
-When they can't keep track of their own lies and when you question them, they can't remember what they said, but are the first to get super defensive and make it YOUR ISSUE.
-Are proud of their dysfunctional behavior and/or diagnosed (or supposed) psych disorders. "I know I'm so OCD. I need time to process. My meds are bugging me, this weight gain! I think I'll stop."
-They never ask about you, or if they do they are only bringing said topic up because they can parallel a (bigger) story of their own.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||January 23, 2023 11:56 PM
25 is way too young to write someone off.
I myself was a raging drunk from 18 to my early 30's. I settled down.
That said, I would not give my past self any money unless I was on the verge of homelessness. You can show you care/support without enabling.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||January 23, 2023 11:59 PM
A drug addict with $100,000 saved at age 25?
|by Anonymous||reply 22||January 24, 2023 12:00 AM
[quote]A drug addict with $100,000 saved at age 25?
[quote]He was working as a cruise ship mechanic but got fired because he failed a drug test (he's a recreational cocaine and canabis user)
Working on a ship means basically no expenses, pot is cheap, and it depends on how much money he puts up his nose, but I could see it. Being a mechanic is not a skill many have (ship/car/plane, etc.)
|by Anonymous||reply 23||January 24, 2023 12:08 AM
Or he's been involved in something criminal like drug smuggling or dealing.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||January 24, 2023 12:16 AM
I fucked your nephew, OP. Say what you will, when he wants it he really wants it.
But you know that already, donchya, Unk?
|by Anonymous||reply 25||January 24, 2023 12:22 AM
Yeh my little brother. I kept trying until I was about 30 (he's 4 yrs younger) then gave up. I don't have a clue what he's doing now, but I know he has 2 kids way out in Wyoming.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||January 24, 2023 12:24 AM
I take it he turned your offer down for porn.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||January 24, 2023 12:39 AM
Put this boy on suicide watch. Stat!
|by Anonymous||reply 28||January 24, 2023 12:45 AM
I'd be concerned about where that $100k came from. How can you earn that on a cruise ship? Drug dealers don't like when money goes missing.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||January 24, 2023 12:52 AM
The 100k is fantastic, although I had it at 25 from an inheritance and just blew it in about two years.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||January 24, 2023 12:57 AM
But I bet they were a fun two years.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||January 24, 2023 6:10 AM