I want to be underwhelmed. Mid-winter 2023 edition. 🥶

I’m Koo Koo for Nilla Mini wafers. I buy a box of single packs. Only 120 calories per package.

I love teddy grahams too

We're already in midwinter?

The brownie in the Banquet TV dinners is better than most box mixes. It actually has a chocolate taste.

You know where they DON’T serve Harvard beets?

I woke up too early today. it's Monday. blah blah blah....

i feel shitty

I love my legs

Did you buy your master a bday gift? I did. New air Jordan’s

Today was a really tough day for me to get through.

Remarkably little underwhelming going on in this thread so far.

I had beef stew for dinner, quite peppery. It would have been excellent had I not forgotten to pick up crackers at the store today, but them's the breaks. Tomorrow: how will I succeed in torpedoing my leftovers?

Its been three weeks since I went to McDonald's (across the street) but I fell off the wagon today.

[quote]You know where they DON’T serve Harvard beets?

Harvard Avenue in Seattle?

Two snowstorms in the last four days in my area of New England. About 20 inches all told. Now another significant snow event is predicted for Wednesday night into Thursday. We had bare ground up until last Friday and suddenly it's snowmageddon.

It’s been a gray, dreary winter.

I’m supposed to get 9” sometime in the next 24 hrs.

R17, I hope he's hot, too! :-)

No, it’s the snow forecast r18

I was being sarcastic, R17. Stay safe somewhere indoors.

R29 Cosmo will you hold me

Absolutely R21! We can sit together and wait for the snow I'm supposed to be getting in the next hour or so.

I am deciding what to do with my white-trash millionaire neighbor across the street who has three cars parked in front of my property for the last two months.

Any ideas, so long as they are underwhelming?

Draw penises on the windshields.

Cozzy we just got an inch of slushy snow. You?

Please don’t use this premature thread until the prior one is closed.

R26 stop telling people what to do.

I SAID please.

I don't think you quite understand how "please" works r28.

Beautiful snowy day in Wisconsin today. "Beautiful" because I don't have to leave the house and can enjoy the view from inside.

R25, Cos and I watched it snow furiously for about 2 hours. We got maybe an inch or two and, at some point, it started sticking onto the pavement in the courtyards. Then it stopped and started raining. While it was snowing, it was quiet and quite beautiful.

For some odd reason, whenever we're getting snow, we get lots of little birds flying around. Cos loves his birdy buddies!

Oh shit!

At age 26, I just want to delete all my social media and do some kind of off-grid thing. I'm done with online social life, outside of DL of course. I especially want to delete my Snapchat - forever.

It's been a year since my car's tires have set tread in a McDonald's drive-through.

I live between two McDonald's, so this is a big deal. Go ahead, make fun of my neighborhood. (The 2 McDonald's are about 1.5 miles apart.)

Dallas is iced over AGAIN. I actually love it as long as I have electricity. It's absolutely peaceful and silent outside, no traffic, and I'm cozy and well-fed.

[quote]I live between two McDonald's, so this is a big deal. Go ahead, make fun of my neighborhood.

The house where I lived until I was 7 is now a Wendy's.

It’s time to sleep

It's time to wake up.

I'm thinking about joining the Elks.

R39 I remember the Elks Club. I didn't know it still existed. Please let us know if you join.

London

My candle cutter arrived from amazon. Of course the door bell rang just as I was on the loo and things were starting to move. Why does amazon use such large packaging for such a small item? It could have easily fitting thru the letter box.

I used my new gadget on a candle. I thought I'd been over enthusiastic and cut the wick down too low, but the flame roared up after about half a minute.

That's all very well r41, but how was the shit?

In a few minutes my breakfast will commence. This morning my breakfast consists of-

Organic Sprouted Oatmeal, chia seeds, hemp seeds, ground flax seeds plus two medium boiled eggs.

[quote]Organic Sprouted Oatmeal, chia seeds, hemp seeds, ground flax seeds plus two medium boiled eggs.

That sure is a lot of seeds. Do you ever let yourself to go fallow for a season?

R43 you'll soon be joining R41 on the loo.

Making a bunch of random breaded food things for dinner because my whole household is depressed and didn’t want to cook. I feel like trash.

I love cleaning my toilet

The sound of music and other tunes I can fart along to.

I put a shit encrusted rolling chair my mom enjoyed sitting in on by curb for the trash man tomorrow. To my surprise 4 vehicles stopped to look it over. 3 got a look at how shit filthy it is and quickly drove away. The 4th individual pushed the chair up the sidewalk to who knows where.

Cheese is very binding!

I watched an old episode of Inspector Lewis tonight. The killer was a trans woman (not of color) who went to Brazil to get a sex change operation so that she could be with her ex-boyfriend who was too religious to accept being gay. It didn’t work out, the ex-boyfriend committed suicide, and she went after the religious people who had tried to convert him to heterosexuality and killed them with 🔥.

Turns out the ex-boyfriend was a childhood friend of Sgt. Hathaway who had kissed Sgt. Hathaway as a young teen. Hathaway laughed in his face. Later, when Hathaway was in the seminary he was one of the religious people who told the ex-boyfriend to go straight. The killer tried and failed to burn Hathaway alive.

It would be so canceled today.

Are all the previous posts made by the same person? I admit to being naive but this was a fun thread until this person joined.

I'm just sitting here waiting for my lunch to heat up and watching an ER rerun. I have a 90 minute webinar at from 2:30 - 4 pm ET. Who the hell schedules such a long webinar on a Friday?!

Someone with the sense of humor of a 10-year-old thinks it's the height of hilarity to pollute this thread with inane scatological humor, R52. Blocking him is the best solution.

IMO, there should be nothing (work-wise) scheduled past 12:00 noon on a Friday.

Totally agree, R55. Last Summer, my regional GM decided we were having "No Meeting Fridays." If you wanted to schedule meetings with clients, that was on you. But, internally, we had no meetings. I try not to schedule anything on Fridays after Noon unless it's a webinar that gives me credits towards my certification. I work in HR.

I asked ChapGPT to compose a paragraph that would amuse elderly homosexuals. It totally failed.

“ As the saying goes, laughter is the best medicine! And what better way to bring a smile to the faces of elderly homosexuals than with a good laugh? From classic gay-themed movies and TV shows, to the latest drag queen lip-sync battles, there's always something to tickle the funny bone of those in the LGBTQ+ community. Not to mention the endless stream of witty quips and sassy comebacks that are part and parcel of gay culture. So why not spend an afternoon indulging in some lighthearted fun, whether it's watching a RuPaul's Drag Race marathon, sharing a few laughs over a game of cards with friends, or simply having a good old-fashioned giggles session with your partner? With all the challenges life can bring, it's important to take a moment to enjoy some good, clean fun and let the laughter roll!”

You’re all a bunch of liars!

R56 How do you work from home in 'human relations'? I always thought HR was a very face-to-face type of thing.

[quote] My candle cutter arrived from amazon.

I started to read this thinking the candle cutter was a person, which I found whelming because I thought it meant I’d have to find a person to come to the house and cut my candles, if that’s going to be a thing now.

I'm trying to figure out something on guitar. I have been playing for a long time, I know a lot, but a new challenge has overtaken me.

I don't understand this need to cut the wicks of the candles. The problem with those huge, fat candles seems to be not enough wicks. The middle of the candle (where the wick is) becomes concave. The perimeter of the candle is too high. Too much wax rolling down from the perimeter into the wick area, snuffing out the candle.

Cooking guy Kevin Lee Jacobs on Youtube has a Mr. Potato Head on the counter next to his stove while he cooks. It's whimsical and makes me smile.

Unfortunately, I can't pull off whimsy. People inevitably question my sanity.

R61 You sound overwhelmed. I hope you become underwhelmed soon.

I have fallen out of love with Talenti Mediterranean Mint Gelato.

It was my favorite flavor but now the taste reminds me of the Scope mouthwash of my youth.

My favorite Talenti flavors are Southern Butter Pecan, Caramel Toffee Crunch, and Roman Raspberry.

Welcome fat whores!

Oh, we were always here r67.

R62 they’re called wick trimmers, asshole!

My asshole always enjoys a good wick trimming.

R56, it’s a little complicated but I’m not an on-site HR staff member. My company contracts with other companies to provide HR services, benefits, and payroll. I provide services to about 50 companies.

"Cosmo's 50-company workday?" 😁

I have an underwhelming foreboding:

I’ve seen three references to Zooey Deschanel this weekend.

This woman is trying to tell me I can use the liquid from a can of chickpeas as an egg replacement.

She further asserts that said chickpea juice can also be used to make chocolate mousse and mayonnaise.

Anyone ever tried this? *paging Greg*

[quote] *paging Greg*

This must NEVER EVER BE DONE ON AN UNDERWHELMED THREAD. NEVER EVER.

NEVER!

Is there a thread for the latest season of Real Housewives of Potomac? Nothing came up in the search.

Robyn and Juan got married in the season finale. There was a blurb about Juan cheating just before the wedding and she was on WWHL last night. Apparently, Juan paid for some woman's ticket to MD from Canada. Story he told was that she was dating a Bal Ravens player and wanted to see him, She lost her wallet in some casino so Juan paid for her hotel. Jesus, worst excuse EVAH! if she was dating a BR player, why not call him??!!

If there is one, can someone link it, please? And sorry to whelm!

TIA

Here's the RH of Potomac thread.

Grandma, what’s wrong with me?

You’re a bitch.

Thank you, R77! I didn't search with "The Real Housewives . . ." I tried RHOP and Real Housewives.

I put my bean soup in the freezer so I can have it later in the month.

Well smell you r80.

I’m so fucking tired.

I bought some Maseca corn masa flour. I want to use it as a thickener & hopefully a flavor-enhancer when I make my pinto beans. The only choice, as far as quantity, was a 4.4-lb. bag. So, I need to figure out a way to store this, now. I also got some Cento tomato paste in the tube, to bump up flavor in the pinto beans. Finally, I bought some dried Mexican oregano. I was sick of my Italian mixed dried herbs mix. Those long, hard leaves of rosemary were something I always had to pick out and I got tired of it.

R83 is overwhelming

[81] Everyone will as soon as the beans work their way through.

Apparently, I have won a free steak dinner at Ruth's Chris. It also says something silly about retirement advice.

I get the same type of free meal offers but I'm supposed to sit through funeral planning advice. Believe me, that's in your future, R86.

R83: The maseca will be fine if you keep it wrapped up in a plastic bag, as far as keeping it fairly fresh and free of weevils. And re the Mexican oregano: it's stronger than the Italian kind. It suddenly hit me a couple of months ago that the thing that it smells like the most is a sweaty horse. Appetizing, I know.

R83, simply store your Maseca corn masa flour tightly sealed in a plastic bag and in the freezer.

[quote] This must NEVER EVER BE DONE ON AN UNDERWHELMED THREAD. NEVER EVER. NEVER!

And yet it was, R75. And yet it was.

Now you can get lost.

[quote] This woman is trying to tell me I can use the liquid from a can of chickpeas as an egg replacement. She further asserts that said chickpea juice can also be used to make chocolate mousse and mayonnaise. Anyone ever tried this? *paging Greg*

I've never heard of this. Maybe it would work. Give it a try and let us know.

There goes the neighborhood.

The schmuck searches for any references to his odious self like a heat seeking missile.

[quote] There goes the neighborhood. The schmuck searches for any references to his odious self like a heat seeking missile.

If anyone is bringing down property values, it is you, R92.

Sorry you think I'm a schmuck, but there are many out here who eagerly await my every post, so I shall not be deterred.

Now go away!

Oh, FUCK.

Everybody hide. Maybe he’ll get bored and leave.

[quote] Everybody hide. Maybe he’ll get bored and leave.

But I really won't.

[quote] Oh, FUCK.

Is that all you've got?

Use your words, R94.

R74, I'll never forgive you for this. This is one of the only threads I truly enjoy on DL and you've ruined it.

[quote] [R74], I'll never forgive you for this. This is one of the only threads I truly enjoy on DL and you've ruined it.

Oh, grow up you little bitch. This is one of the only threads you truly enjoy? Well dry your tears, little one, and get over it.

I always hate that moment when I run out of F&Fs.

I stepped in a HUGE pile of dog shit in my neighbor’s yard! I’m so damned mad I had to clean that mess and a half off of my trail shoes.

I smell a red tag in your future, Greg.

Gawker died again. It’s as if I found out an old classmate OD’d.

I had gum surgery late yesterday. My cheek still hurts from the Novocaine shots and my smile is still a little lopsided. But it's supposed to be a nice day here in northern NJ. That means Cos and sleep in the sun on his back with is belly out!

[quote]That means Cos and sleep in the sun on his back with is belly out!

Oddly enough that is EXACTLY what I plan to do this afternoon here in Miami!

R105, make sure your tail is placed seductively between your legs and your front paws are up.

That should say ". . . Cos CAN sleep . . ." I'm oh dearing myself.

I bought some smoked tofu yesterday. I never was a tofu fan, but this is surprisingly quite tasty.

I am encouraging all pet owners to start visiting public places with their pets.

The behavior of the most obnoxious assholes improves when there are pets present.

People worry about the tiny witnesses to their stupidity.

Young fem gays and their sense of false entitlement

It's payday for me! Happy Friday, my fellow underwhelmers!

My public transit app rejected a payment, accepted a payment, and then billed me twice.

Yes, I’m telling them to take $50 off my transit card and return it to my bank.

I’m petty and poor.

[quote]They are ruining my weed budget

Priorities are a must in this now-a-go-go world!

I am finishing up some work and will turn my attention to what I will cook tonight and over the weekend. I've already salted a chicken for my Sunday roast chicken. I'm thinking of preparing fish tonight.

Get a blog.

Ah has done did transmitted already my taxes and arranged for payment by my bank.

Life's good and I'm great.

[quote] Get a blog.

Get a life.

I sneezed 17 times in a row. It was exhausting. I might take a nap.

Damn, R118! Are you OK? I thought sneezing stopped your heart momentarily. Or is that an old wives' tale?

I think you are confusing sneezing with orgasms Cosmo.

I just remembered that pollen is tree jizz and we’re all inhaling come Springtime.

I bought a bag of lettuce with an expiration date of Feb. 13, and it's already turning brown. I feel betrayed.

I just showered with silk and magnolia body wash. Silk is actually listed as one of the ingredients.

Silk is just silkworm doo-doo. Like honey is just bee vomit.

I love guys feet

Wait—pollen is tree spooge?

This is a great rice pudding recipe I whole heartedly recommend if you have leftover rice and half and half. So good, I added cinnamon and raisins to mine. No need for eggs!

Coming back home after a long weekend trip I like to sit down and take a ginormous crap.

In my old age, my hair is creeping into Christopher Walken (Batman) / Bill Hadar (Cruella) territory.

And the fivehead is here, Folks.

R129 I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you aren't overwhelmed.

I became arrogant with my new-found bean-cooking skills. I soaked some pinto beans overnight and noticed it the beans hadn't puffed up as much as usual. I let it soak another night. I cooked the beans today. Half of them looked OK; the other half looked shriveled. All the seasonings were already in that pot or I would have dumped it. I fished out all of the shriveled beans and I think things are OK.

R131 sounds like you averted an overwhelming disaster. 😉

I am emitting garlic from every pore in my body. My bedroom reeks.

Thank you, R120! You are correct and I was wrong.

Just back from Dunkin' (didn't feel like walking to Starbucks).

Thinking about my upcoming Greg2023 DL Live session.

I have my annual physical this afternoon to hear the latest ways in which my body is falling apart. I’m afraid I’m pre-diabetic.

I’m tired from a long weekend of play

Good for you, R137.

I'm eating grapefruit again. And it's not fucking with my heart meds.

R131: re beans, if you have a Hispanic grocery nearby, always buy beans there. They are usually just as fresh as they can be. I cooked a pound of pintos yesterday that I had soaked, and they were completely tender after being simmered for just about an hour.

My doctor tried to prescribe. Wegovy. My insurance company said no.

The magic pills are working, but I’m bloaty with only a few disappointing one-cheek sneaks. I will put on weight and people will stop asking if I’ll sell them meth.

It’s clean sheet night but I don’t feel like taking a shower

In other words you're in a dreadful situation totally of your own making, R143.

I got a Krispy Kreme raspberry filled donut at the RaceTrac gas station very early this morning. It was $1.89 and quite puny, they've definitely shrunk in size from what I recall.

I have to go to Staten Island for a client meeting. I hate driving to Staten Island. To make it worse, It will take me longer to drive roundtrip than the meeting will last. And lunch will probably only take about 90 minutes and will be sandwiches and salads; not great for someone who's trying to lose weight. At least it's a nice day.

[quote] they've definitely shrunk in size from what I recall.

Have you?

R146, why are salads not good for someone who's trying to lose weight?

R145- Dunkin Donuts 🍩 are also far smaller than they used to be.

I just got a $15 settlement check from Godiva because they did something wrong. Woot, I'm RICH!

I have $30 in Ace Rewards that expire on 02/28 and have to be redeemed in-store - not good for online.

R148, the salad offered was Caesar with croutons. Even with the shaved parmesan cheese, there's not enough protein; nothing to make you feel full. The dressing, the best part of the salad, IMO, is full of fat. The sandwiches were chicken parm, and Italian sub. I went with the Italian sub. Though the meat was processed, there was fresh mozzarella. The piece was small so there wasn't much bread. I had bottled water with it.

I received a good guy stipend and now they are taxing it.

What's a good guy stipend, R153?

My cat has been losing weight mysteriously. No other obvious symptoms except for yowling after she eats. Took her to the vet today. $600 (ouch!)

Waiting for test results. I hope it’s not the bad thing it could be.

On the bright side, she looks great.

My Federal tax refund got paid into my account in a week. I'm still waiting for the state.

The Feds tell you online where your refund is in the process. The state's website says they got it, but no details and, "Give us six weeks, anyway."

Hmm ... that reminds me about taxes. I still need to file.

R154 if you work with the unhoused directly there was a small amount paid to everyone. It was fun spending it and now I have to pay taxes on it. Boohoo.

I refuse to think of that cunt Kate Jackson on Friday or any other day of the week.

I had a filling (molar) yesterday. Dentist asked if I really wanted Novocaine. I said yes. WTF? Why not just make your patient comfortable?

I have a sore on my pubic bone area.

I had a new-fangled type of apple called a Wild Twist. It's a collaboration between a Honeycrisp and Pink Lady out of Lancaster, PA.

Sweet and tart probably leaning more towards sweet.

I only bought them because they were on sale. I don't believe I would actively seek them out again.

I cried at Marcel the Shell with Shoes On. I cried. At a talking shell.

R162 my faves are SugarBee, Ambrosia and Envy.

Hi everyone, I’m back home!

Great,, you can do the laundry.

I just prepared myself a nice cup of organic chamomile infusion tea to relax with.

What's the difference between chamomile tea and "chamomile infusion tea"?

R168 Taylor’s Tea. That’s the difference

I saw a picture of Dick Van Dyke pop up on my computer screen today but it wasn't really there. Perhaps an omen.

I am on Day 5 of COVID and got out for a walk. The fresh air and sunshine felt good but it’s cold out.

R170 do you regularly fap to pics of him?

I used the last Lysol disinfecting wipe. Opened up a new canister of wipes and poured the remaining liquid from the old canister into the new one. Now the wipes in the new canister are too wet and soggy.

I’ve fully converted from pipe and tobacco to vape.

I don’t light anything on fire. I don’t walk around the block. I don’t get asked if I have a cigarette while I’m clearly holding a pipe. I’m not worried about running low on fluid or loose tobacco that’s not too oily and not too dry. And my clothes don’t have little shit stains everywhere from the pipe spitting up tobacco juice at weird times.

Now, I have an electric pacifier that’s hooked up via usb-c cable. I feel like a spoiled 13 year-old with a juice box. I don’t think I’ll vape in public. I’m not even sure about social rules for vaping.

[quote]social rules for vaping

Rule Number One: DON'T!

r173 you shouldn't have been such a frugal fucker. it backfired on you.

[quote][R173] you shouldn't have been such a frugal fucker. it backfired on you.

Guilty as charged! My late mother's little cost savings "hacks" stick with me to this day. The other day I cobbled together various size pieces of aluminum foil I had saved to line a baking sheet. I need to get a grip, I'm turning into a little old Italian lady.

[quote]I'm turning into a little old Italian lady.

I fear that bridge has been irrevocably crossed.

r155, have you gotten the test results back for your cat?

I’m thinking about making a salmon sandwich for lunch. I might hoover the hall first, but I’m not sure if I have the energy to do both.

I found a small brass bolt in my kitchen about a month ago, but I couldn’t figure out where it had come from. I’ve only now realised that it must have come off my bedroom lamp when I was changing the bulb and polishing it, but now I can’t remember what I did with the bolt in the meantime. I’m vexed.

In your predicament r180, I would probably choose to do neither.

Feeling a bit under the weather but tired mostly, I took a sick day from work. I just needed a day of mental health and laying in bed.

After 25 years of no acne, I seem to be developing it again in my mid-forties. This may be a consequence of me trying to eat the global chocolate supply over the last week. This must stop.

R183, are you in the US? Today is a federal holiday. Well, not all employers will give you the day off, I realize. Anyway, hope you feel better by the end of today.

Thanks for asking, r179. Most of them. It’s looking like lymphoma. 😢. This means more expensive tests to confirm and determine which type. Or I may just treat for the type that can be treated (chemotherapy).

Sometimes, as in right now. I'll watch Lori Goldstein on QVC.

I live in Flyoverstan.

Can somebody from the East Coast tell me what is this style?

I had a huge bowl of broccoli with my lunch and it gave me a stomach ache. I just farted and it smelled like a burning tire.

R188 disgusting 🐷

[quote]I just farted and it smelled like a burning tire.

I just farted and it smelled like a burning tyre.

Spread your legs and shove your old ugly head down there and keep farting. You’ll probably start fapping.

R183 here. Since I took a sick day today, I didn't bother with my contact lenses. Just wearing my ugly glasses all day that give me a headache. It's too late now at 8pm to put contacts in so I just got in bed and took my glasses off. I'm done with the day and there's nothing else I need to see that clearly. I'm feeling lazy and slightly depressed. Guess my mental health day didn't work. At least I didn't drink or smoke a joint. Winning! Not.

My leftover meatloaf dinner last night was godawful. The canned stewed tomatoes I opened tasted off so I dumped them. My tastebuds seem off the last few months. I wonder if I had COVID this summer and now I can’t taste well.

I cleaned the bathroom.

R193 Maybe you should have eaten your leftover meatloaf in a cold sandwich. Cold meatloaf sandwiches on a hard roll...(sigh).

I watched the Golden Girls episode where they bury the old crank neighbor with my online friends. First time I've legitimately laughed in what seems like six months or more.

I was shocked to hear Canada Geese this morning. I live in northern New England and they have never arrived sooner than mid to late March. The lakes are still frozen, no open water. Maybe they'll have better luck with the rivers.

[quote]they bury the old crank neighbor with my online friends

I can only hope your online friends were consulted prior to their burial.

I had Hazel on in the background while I was doing some mindless chores.

Mr. B.'s mousy spinster cousin came to stay with the Baxters and asked Hazel to make her a jelly omelet.

I never heard of a jelly omelet. Was that a 1960s fad? Doesn't sound appetizing to me.

More like a 30's/40's Depression/wartime fad, R199 - make omelette, spoon jelly on one side of the nearly cooked eggs, fold over, plate and eat. My grandmother used to make them.

The only time I've had one in years was for breakfast at Harrah's in New Orleans. It just seemed like something simple during a week of eating at Gallatoires and Arnauds and Antoines.

I think the jelly on scrambled egg habit turned me against ketchup on eggs - it shares expected sweetness and then throws in a surprise.

I watched a clip from that Winnie the Pooh slasher film, and now I have regrets.

You know those mornings when it takes just a little bit extra to get you out of bed?

Well, get your lazy ass up!!

I lost my glasses today, but I have a back-up pair and I’m due for a new Rx anyway.

Don’t you rape me!!

The stopper on my sink doesn't work. I wonder if I can fix it myself? Should I even try?

Took my Dad to Texas Roadhouse on Saturday. The 6 oz, sirloin was perfectly medium rare. The corn had been left over from the Obama Administration.

Went to a seafood restaurant yesterday for a team luncheon. The appetizers were fantastic as was the mint chocolate chip gelato. The Chilean Sea Bass (yes, I know it doesn't exist) over shaved asparagus and mushrooms with a parsnip puree needed salt. There were no salt and pepper shakers on any of the tables.

One restaurant with a great main dish and one with great appetizers. Sigh. Glad I like to cook.

I used baking soda, vinegar and boiling water to clear up a slow drain. Now I'm out of baking soda and vinegar. I'll add them to this week's grocery order. I think I'll get the big jug of vinegar this time and perhaps three boxes of baking soda, one for cooking, one for household chores and one for the fridge.

[quote] Now I'm out of baking soda and vinegar. I'll add them to this week's grocery order. I think I'll get the big jug of vinegar this time and perhaps three boxes of baking soda, one for cooking, one for household chores and one for the fridge.

You might consider purchasing a large 4-pound box of baking soda for household chores/laundry.

This has been an underwhelming and depressing winter with no snow (so far).

Costco sells baking soda and vinegar in massive quantities.

R210 I spent $1800 for a snowblower last November. I have not used it yet.

I was kind of pissed off but now I’m thinking I’d gladly give somebody $1800 if that meant no snow all winter.

I had the opposite experience—deciding not to spend on an expensive snow-blower. I got a cheap electric one before a big storm in 2017 and I’ve used it twice since. If we ever get big snow again, I’ll pay local kids to dig me out.

It’s snowing now.

I want to listen to stockard channing sing a song from “Grease” for some reason. Going to youtube brb

I had never heard of this one musician from the '60s and then his name and picture came up three times in one week (twice on Reddit and once on Tumblr). Now I've forgotten his name again.

I find myself thinking that Marie Windsor always looked rougher than her Mormon background and clean living warranted.

Over about three years, I've been weaning my partner from Northern cornbread and working towards Southern-style. Today we had beans and rice and I baked some with my family's recipe from Scott County, Virginia. He said it was delicious. He hasn't noticed the difference, and I can stop cringing at sweet, eggy, cake-like fluffy stuff.

Success.

Your cornbread recipe, please, r218.

I like the sweet, cake-like cornbread.

Here's a photo of R220.

I’m going back to rinsing my dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. When I pre-rinse, they take an hour to clean. I didn’t pre-rinse and set the dishwasher to Sensor. It took about 90 minutes for the wash cycle. It’s almost 10:15 pm ET and it’s just now on the dry cycle. Fuck you, Cascade Platinum!!

I rinse everything before putting it into the dishwasher, to the point where I don't really need to bother putting it into the dishwasher. I'm a little OCD that way.

R218, my Cousin Ida made me promise not to "give it out." It has a little twist and she drove her sisters crazy (she'd be 140 years old now). She gave it to me because I was from out of state and praised it highly and helped her son cut tobacco while I was visiting. No shit.

Just use Rea Drummond's simplest version and put it in an iron skillet. It looks close. But you'll have to switch to lard from shortening but use less, preferably "some from your own hog." It won't be exactly the same but at least you'll get the desired crust.

Now I'm REALLY underwhelmed.

Since Cousin Ida is dead, why not just give out the recipe?

[quote]Fuck you, Cascade Platinum!!

Pics please.

R223, I don't run the dishwasher every day so Cos' cat dishes get crusty from his wet food. I've always let them sit with water in them for a few hours before putting them in the dishwasher. I didn't do that this time to see how it would work. Generally, I run the dishwasher after dinner (usually around 7:30 or 8 pm). On the 1 hour wash and heat dry settings, they are clean and dry before I go to bed at 10 pm.

I do not rinse my dishes AT ALL. My machine handles that.

R225, because I am an honorable person.

Plus she was a hillbilly hoodoo woman and those preset hexes are ready to snap no matter how much time passes.

I haven't had a dishwasher for decades. I hand-wash & dry everything.

I need a new hobby. My old one, the pursuit and consumption of snacks, has become medically untenable.

r231, exercises? If you can't exercise, you need to keep your hands busy. Puzzles, knitting, needlework like crewel or embroidery, video games. Anything to keep your hands from shoveling food into your mouth.

Also, make a new rule for yourself -- anything you eat, including snacks, has to be eaten at the table. Even if it's a handful of peanuts or a cube of cheese, sit down and eat it. You're more likely to be mindful of how much and what you are actually eating if you don't eat on the go, in the car, in front of the TV, etc.

Walk backwards r231. It burns 40% more calories than walking forwards and engages different muscles.

Choose a long unobstructed path or hallway in your home, barefoot, lead with ball of foot.

And live stream it here on the Datalounge.

Why do I want ice cream when it's 26F outside?

Because ice cream is the perfect food.

80 degrees in north GA yesterday and it's gotten close to that nearly every day in the past week. About 4 weeks early this year. I had my windows open all night.

I’m wearing plaid.

Don’t you touch me!

Don’t you rape me!

I’m imagining Hazel doing it with Mr. Ed.

Wilbur drove a Studebaker Lark on the Mr Ed show.

Aunt Bea, from Andy Williams’ show, drove a Studebaker Lark IRL until she died.

Nelson Rockefeller courted Mrs Murphy in Maine in a Studebaker Avanti.

I have no idea why I know this, but I do.

My short-lived venture into low carb a while back has left me with a bunch of Primal products. The ranch dressing made with avocado oil is very good as is the unsweetened ketchup.

The avocado oil mayonnaise was disgusting and the $9 jar went straight into the trash. The glowing reviews must have been written by employees.

Seattle has wonderful fresh fish and I should be eating more of it.

No.

Regarding R216 - BTW, the artist I'd never heard of turned up again today - Wally Tax.

Had Linda Ronstadt songs in my head today, so rewatched the CNN documentary about her that now is on HBOMax.

R243, I’m right there with you. The avocado mayo was beyond disgusting. I used it to make tuna salad and had to throw the whole thing out.

I recently cleaned out my fridge and dumped some expensive stuff that I just wasn't using. It wasn't even bad-tasting stuff. I just wasn't consuming it. I guess my eating has changed. Anyway, it's a bummer when you add up the dollars and wish you could have them back.

You should have sold the stuff on the street.

Has anyone been to Switzerland and had elbow macaroni made with caramelized onions, breadcrumbs and APPLESAUCE? I'm tempted to make this just out of curiosity. It's the first recipe. She has a little promo after that and then the rest of the recipes look good too except the one with spam. I hate spam.

R250, macaroni and caramelized onions sound good. Applesauce sounds awful.

I watch Kevin Lee Jacobs cooking videos (aka Nicolas Fairford for the older crowd) and he often says to beat or stir something "violently". I think he means "vigorously". Why he hasn't caught this and corrected himself I don't know. I also don't know why it annoys me but it does.

He's obviously an S&M freak r252.

I just looked up Kevin Lee Jacobs on YouTube. He does look like Nicolas Fairford, 20 years down the road.

OK, I’m finally putting on weight and I have two unhoused people that will fit my size 28 pamts.

Did you see that? Two brags at once! Underwhelming at its best. I’m sorry. They’re good clothes if it redeems.

It snowed last night and a little bit this morning. My area received about 6 inches of snow. It's quiet and beautiful right now.

oh cosmo that sounds beautiful.

I’m feeling depressed today because my health condition is worse. I feel so isolated and alone in this even though it isn’t true.

^Whelmer!

Spring is early in WV this year

I don't see how I'm gonna make it through the summah.

R258, I'm so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug.

The toilet in my second bathroom is hissing. I bought a new flapper so I hope that fixes it. I had the whole flushing mechanism replaced a few years ago and it cost me about $150 for the call and parts.

I just shoveled the sidewalk, so of course it’s snowing again.

I’d finished shoveling about 3/4ths of the driveway and all of the sidewalk this morning when my neighbor appeared with a shovel. His lame excuse is kids.

Excuse for what?

I’m gonna stop joking about constipation. It’s backing up in me.

I’m spying on the new coworker who is stuck with the banker’s desk -it has two good drawers on one side and a useless cabinet door on the other.

Yes, not for profits keep the shittiest office furniture but I did order them a new chair

I’m still in bed.

Sometimes when im in a really deep nostalgic mood, I like to think back to my last day at college, that Spring of 2003 when I said goodbye to my college buddies. Many I have never seen or heard from since then. I wonder how life has treated them.

R269 I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer but I’m sure some of them are dead.

[quote]Many I have never seen or heard from since then. I wonder how life has treated them.

Instead of just wondering, why not do what the rest of us do and try stalking them on the Internet?

I have a big meeting tomorrow so had a mellow, relaxing evening and am in bed at 10 pm. I had a shower around 8 pm but can still smell my deodorant from earlier. I think I have to go wash my pits or I won’t be able to get to sleep.

Could the odor be coming from the sheets?

R272, go wash your ass properly!

Thinking of watching a Columbo episode for the hundredth time...

But dammit, they're so good and kind of comfortable

Came down with a powerful sore throat at the end of a beautiful warm afternoon yesterday. Gobbled zinc lozenges all thru the night and felt like I was getting pretty sick. I haven't had so much as a cold in almost 5 years now. Took a Covid test this a.m. and it's negative, and I just feel like I have a cold. Pretty sure I picked it up at a funeral reception on Saturday, a huge crowd, almost all of whom I did not know at all. It was a mistake to have gone, since I didn't give a damn about the "honoree" anyway, had to drive 1.5 hours to get there (and back), and this is the thanks I get.

I had three teeth extracted and then bone grafting to fill the sockets done on Monday preparatory to placing implant posts and then crowns in about three months. The dentist gave me 30 Tylenol with codeine. I used three on Monday but have had no pain since. Not that I have any problem his generosity, but I thought the DEA did. Not so, apparently.

R277, my condolences on all that dental work. I had "just" a filling a couple of weeks ago and felt sick the next day.

Anyway, codeine is relatively mild, compared to Percocet, etc.

Tylenol with codeine didn't help me with my dental pain. I did better with OTC Tylenol.

[quote]It was a mistake to have gone, since I didn't give a damn about the "honoree" anyway, had to drive 1.5 hours to get there (and back), and this is the thanks I get.

Not being snarky, but why did you go to this funeral, r276?

^She was the sister-in-law of one of my oldest friends, someone I've known for over 50 years. I had known the deceased and her husband for about that long, and their children for decades. R276

You know "Murder, She Wrote" is really watchable...

Not brilliant, but very watchable

SeaPak frozen shrimp was BOGO at supermarket so I got two of the Shrimp Scampi. They make for a very good and quick meal over linguini.

They have other varieties such as Coconut Shrimp, Popcorn Shrimp, etc. but I haven't tried those.

They are quite good, R283. I don't like coconut shrimp but the scampi isn't bad if you don't want to make your own.

Happy Friday, DL underwhelmed!

Had some Cheetos (puffs) and two packs of Twix (caramel).

^^ fattie

R285 Don't listen to him (R286). He's just jealous.

R285 is not a fattie.

She is an amateur.

R286 asshole

I bought lower fat peanut butter by mistake. It’s not bad, but it dries on knife and plate like cement.

Everyone simmer down!

I want to lose 10 pounds before June. Im eating tomatoes and olives for breakfast.

[quote] I’m really into Harvard beets.

If that’s a veiled criticism about me, I won’t hear it and I won’t respond to it.

You just did, Andy.

I shaved in the shower and missed a big patch on my jaw/neck. I really don’t want to shave again.

Well then, just go out looking like an unkempt idiot.

I cooked a nice pot of black (turtle?) beans. Put in some Mexican oregano (dried) and thickened with some Maseca flour. Frankly, I think you could use any type of flour.

I’m old and I’m going longer with the hair on the back of my head - not quite a mullet.

Watching Columbo, episode with Johnny Cash and Ida Lupino. Never saw this episode and feel very comfortable and underwhelmed.

I woke at 4.30 this morning, after 4.5 hours of sleep and had an urge to google local gyms. I need to join one soon, I think. My level of fitness has diminished to a almost zero since Covid. I’m moderately whelmed by the thought that I am heading towards an early grave unless I make big changes.

Those of us who are regulars on the underwhelmed threads are bound to feel whelmed by your post, R300. Not putting a lot of effort into anything is a way of life for us. "Big changes" is really not a concept with which we feel comfortable.

speak for yourself r301

R300 is exhausting, and I didn't even read the obvious insanity there.

My cousin in England wrote to tell me that her dahlias, tubers of which she stored wrapped in newspaper in her shed, died from the cold.

I didn't respond.

Depending on the cultivars and number of tubers r304, that can be a whelming and expensive loss.

I always cook my eggs 🥚 the night before I eat them . I take them out of the refrigerator and leave them on the counter to warm up to room temperature before I eat them for breakfast later.

My neighbor adopted a cat recently. Cat tore up screens on her screened patio. Screen repair guys have been here since 8:30, it is now 9:00 and they have yet to start work. They are loud and blocking my driveway. I don't need to go anywhere but it's the principle of the matter.

How helpful of you, R305. And interesting that you do not think I know anything about dahlia propagation and costs of loss.

So, that's who you are.

Not that I care, of course.

No snark was intended r304.

My neighbors cat sprayed my outdoor patio. It stinks so fucking bad. There are no cats in my home only 2 cute dogs.

My (basic, borderline mental) neighbours upstairs have been throwing cigarette ends out of their window into my garden. I swept the path at lunchtime and there were about a dozen of the things there. I’m a peaceful, non-violent person, but I really want to gather them all up and post them through their letterbox.

R310, if you lived anywhere near Elmo, Iowa, I'd lend you my wood chipper.

Maybe.

I condole you, R310. Hell is other people (and their shitting, pissing cats).

I learnt today that there are TEN! Calories in ONE! Stick of doublemint gum! This is nuts

[quote] I always cook my eggs 🥚 the night before I eat them . I take them out of the refrigerator and leave them on the counter to warm up to room temperature before I eat them for breakfast later.

R306, I'm assuming you cook the eggs while they're still in the shell. E.g., boiled eggs.

R308, I don't mean to butt in, but I think you're taking the comment all wrong.

R309, you exhaust me with your cavilling.

But that's okay. Please don't be so needlessly earnest and literal. It's anti-DL and tiring.

The skins are thin here, and it is completely underwhelming with such totality that it almost becomes.... less so.

[quote]I learnt today that there are TEN! Calories in ONE! Stick of doublemint gum! This is nuts

We know.

I am so itchy. It just dry winter skin but always more noticeable and uncomfortable at night when I’m trying fall asleep.

R320, I condole you. I hate that itch, dry, winter skin. Especially on my back.

CereVe Daily Moisturizer, R320 and R321 will be your salvation.

They make an anti-itch moisturizer as well.

Oh, wow, I guess.

I think DL's "Underwhelmed" threads are more clever. Kudos to the OP from thread # 1.

I rescued a small office plant from the alley and it’s thriving, but it looks like it’s pushing it’s roots out of the potting soil.

^^its roots

Time to re-pot.

R327 I was about to post the same thing. I feel less whelmed now.

I found a small container of Stevia buried in the back of my designated coffee/tea cabinet. Used the teeny tiny little spoon in the container to put a teeny tiny bit in my coffee and half-n-half hoping to avoid my usual sugar. Coffee is bitter and I am reminded why I never used this crap again after initial use. I didn't throw it away then because it cost $15 but I'm throwing it away now so I don't make the same mistake again in six months when the bitter taste isn't fresh in my mind.

^Put it out for the birds, they love the stuff.

I was experiencing a rumbling noise in my right ear that was highly annoying. Did these little exercises this guy recommended and it stopped. I also learned I've been pronouncing "tinnitus" wrong.

I only eat my perfectly ripe bananas 🍌 on a plate- sliced.

With the peel or without?

I like my bananas slightly under-ripe.

[quote]I only eat my perfectly ripe bananas 🍌 on a plate- sliced.

How do you eat a Snickers candy bar?

R333- Without the peel. My bananas must not only be served sliced on a plate but the bananas themselves must be heavily freckled before I would even consider eating them.

I haven't taken my Christmas lights and Christmas tree in off my balcony yet. I've unplugged all of it, but I haven't removed it and put it away. I think I'm just lazy.

R335 I don't understand. You unwrap it and shove it in your gob.

People can be so tiresome.

For itchy bedtime wintertime backs try Tone® bar soap with coco butter. I start showering with it in November and stop around tax day, 4/15. Works for me!

Corticosteroids are a mixed blessing.

Lumedeodorant.com

I have a strange little scab inside my ear and I can't stop picking at it. Because it's in my ear, every time I fuck with it, the noise in my ear is overwhelming. I need to stop.

We got a new toilet today. The old small one had been there for 50 years.

If it was working r344, you are going to miss the old one. These low flow models are awful.

I have an old top-loading washing machine & I hope it never breaks.

I bought a new duvet cover and now I have to wash, dry, and iron it. The bed looks like shit when I don’t iron them. Linen looks sexy when it’s wrinkled, but cotton looks like a pile of dirty clothes.

I had a nice bowl of my Chunky Lentil Soup tonight for dinner. It was tasty and filling.

R346 I have an old-ish stacked set that just fits where it goes in a third floor closet. Not many others will. I have and will continue to fix it as long as they can get parts.

I ate the banana’s anus.

I ate a DiGiorno pizza for dinner last night. I'm not sure why I just didn't order delivery. I was underwhelmed by the product.

I recently learned my calf muscle is my "second heart".

I also learned that doing "soleus push ups" while sitting at my desk can lower blood sugar. I'm not diabetic but I do like my desserts.

I'm doing soleus push ups as I type this.

I want donuts.

^^^Do soleus push ups after you eat the donuts!

Will soleus push ups mean I will live forever?

Then I will NOT do them.

I get annoyed when I un-tag a thread from my "Watched List" and it keeps coming back like a roach.

I’m putting away my winter clothes and breaking out my Spring. I had a thing for pink with muddy green last year. I want more lemon.

Where do you live r357? They’re forecasting a foot of snow Tuesday in the Northeast. I don’t put away winter stuff until after Easter.

I'm doing what I can to stave off a recession by buying all new underwear.

[quote] I ate a DiGiorno pizza for dinner last night. I'm not sure why I just didn't order delivery. I was underwhelmed by the product.

Why is DiGiorno frozen pizza overwhelming? Seems like delivery pizza would have been more overwhelming.

Seattle,r358 - it’s mainly wool, corduroy, and heavy twill. It was fun for the season and now I hate every sweater and every flannel shirt.

I’m hiding them from myself - three bullshit shirts and two douchebro kakis are out for the homelesss.

Another snowstorm heading to New England with my area to get 8 to12 inches Monday night through Wednesday mid-day. We received the same amount about a week ago. The up side is that this time of year it will melt fast.

[quote]I ate a DiGiorno pizza for dinner last night. I'm not sure why I just didn't order delivery. I was underwhelmed by the product.

Even though it doesn't taste as good, I would have probably gone with the DiGiorno's because it wouldn't involve interacting with another person, which can be whelming.

We're getting rain, R362, like we have all winter long every time the rest of New England gets snow.

The weatherfolk try to scare us by being iffy and attempting to parse the storm track via the European models (blah blah blah) but it will rain from Monday into Wednesday along the coast.

One of my wheelie bins went missing when I left it out on the doorstep on Thursday. I called the city council and was told that it probably fell into the rubbish lorry, and that there would be an 8-week wait for a replacement. This is a problem because my upstair neighbours are happy to wallow in filth and won’t clean up any rubbish which won’t fit into the one bin which we have left.

I just watched “Hot Fuzz” R365 in which ubfortunate things happened to those who detract from the ethos.

I’m watching Little House on Cozi

[quote]I'm doing what I can to stave off a recession by buying all new underwear.

R359 Me, too. Hanes online had a big sale on underwear and I stocked up on tighty whities. When they arrived, I saw that they were made in Vietnam. Now I don't know the level of whelm I'm feeling.

I’m searching eligible North bachelors in my local area.

I'm watching "Murder, She Wrote"

This woman live in North...find a lot of dead bodies

They changed the smell of regular Tide. I hate it.

The forecast has become worse since yesterday. 10 to 14 inches of heavy, wet snow with wind gusting to 45 MPH. At times on Tuesday, it will snow 2 to 4 inches per hour and the storm will stall making for a powerful and long snow event. But Spring will come!

May I suggest fragrance-free Tide?

May I suggest Amway SA8?

I was groped by somebody with greasy hands and the groping happens when you’re working closely with stoned people.

Anyway, the stain on my inner thigh didn’t come out on the first wash. I used Tide. I think/hope it was anti-biotic jelly. I’m pretreating with Dawn.

I ran out of refills for my Lint Roller. I should get a proper lint brush. I had one but haven't been able to locate it since I moved two years ago. It's probably in one of the boxes in the garage marked "Misc.".

Walmart gave me a can of Campbell's Chicken Gumbo instead of Cream of Mushroom soup in my pickup order this morning. I think my green bean casserole is going to taste funny.

I always assumed the very point of green bean casserole was to taste funny.

Pretty snowflakes that melt upon hitting the ground.

Winning.

R379, I have snow on the trees and grass but the courtyard is clear. I think I got about 5 inches of snow. Trees are very pretty and it's nice and quiet.

I rarely have allergy flare-ups, but my allergies have been acting up at night. Itchy eyes, itchy face, runny nose. I don't want to take Benadryl (too powerful), but I may need to buy some Claritin-type OTC med.

I just scratched my left ass cheek

My pacemaker's generator will be replaced a week from Monday. I heard the "European ambulance sound" this morning a bit before 10 am which is the signal the battery life is almost up.

I was looking for the cardiology department's phone number a few minutes later when they called and said, "Can you come in a week from Monday?"

It's the first replacement. They make it sound like an oil change. Make an appointment - bring it in - and we'll have you out in a jiffy.

I thought it would be more dramatic. Thoroughly underwhelmed - no drama at all.

The European ambulance sound is more disturbing than the American ambulance sound.

R383 does the alarm/siren come from your chest or do you have an external device like a key fob that sounds the alarm? That could be very scary if it went off in a meeting or watching a play or something.

R385: It comes from inside your chest. I was looking around when I heard it, saw nothing blinking or beeping, thought, "Is that me?" and then "No, I hope," and then remembered the doc saying this is what it sounds like and he was right. The nurse who scheduled me said to expect the same sound at the same time every day until it's replaced, so it's predictable: the same sound at the same time.

I wish I had some meetings to go to this week or next...

R384: the American ambulance sound is very insistent when they're right behind you in your lane and you want to get out of their way, but not drive into oncoming traffic. The European Ambulance Sound is more wailing. The American sound is more brutal. I wonder if they program the European models to sound American.

Hope things turn out OK, R386. Glad you're not overwhelmed.

[quote]Pretty snowflakes that melt upon hitting the ground.

Are you also fond of raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens?

Alarms! Sirens! What thread am I in?

[quote]The European Ambulance Sound is more wailing.

It makes me think Nazis are coming. I first started hearing it in the 1950s on news documentaries about WWII. Still overwhelming.

I like to watch.

My nightmare neighbours are currently having a screaming fight about a relative who was accused of stealing DVDs.

DVDs. I’m baffled by the concept of someone coveting DVDs enough in this day and age to steal them. I’m also underwhelmed by the fact I live next to such trashy people.

It was their personal sec dvd

Sex!

I was upset when I "lost" my "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town" VHS tape. I took it over to a cousin's house so that we could watch it for Christmas. The little kids in the house were complaining, then they got really into it. I blame a particular one of those little kids for stealing it, frankly.

That kid deserved a "Year Without a Santa Claus," R395.

I’ve got the itch in the left quadrant of my ass to hear some Skeeter Davis.

I fell asleep and missed a UPS delivery I’d been looking forward to.

I’ve been invited to a Saint Patrick’s dinner. I suppose it’s inevitable that they serve corned beef and cabbage. [sigh]

So UPS driver just knocked on my door in his second attempt to deliver a “signature required” package. I’m sitting 20 ft away and in the time it took me to walk to the door he had already decided I wasn’t home and was walking away. He didn’t even bother to take the package out of the truck.

R400 I’ve had that happen before. Pisses me off!

My fingernails have become ridged (vertically) as I've gotten older.

Ask the doctor to remove them r400

^^r402

I just woke up in pain and I’m in a bad mood. I’m gonna be a bitch today.

Then kindly proceed to another thread r405.

R400, I hate when I get one of those orange notices from USPS that I have a package that needs to be picked. I always seem to get them on Saturdays when my mail is delivered which is after the post office has closed.

I hate being alive. Have a good weekend.

I have 100% positive ratings as a buyer on eBay.

I wore my green sweater the last time I saw a group of friends I’m meeting tonight. It’s my only green clothing. Do I wear it again? It’s a St. Patrick’s dinner.

Order a round of drinks for the table r410. No one will notice.

I'm watching "Cheaters".

I was whelmed by the host, Clark Gable III.

I googled him and only 15 minutes ago I found out he's been dead since 2019.

I bought some Campari tomatoes from Costco. They're supposed to be reliably good, all year round. They're OK. Not bad. Not notably good.

Hot cocoa.

E-mail from Netflix: “Andrew, we just added a documentary you might like: “Moneyshot—the Pornhub Story”.

Well, I never . . .

They've got you figured out, R415.

I lost a 27 year-old crown this week - that old guy did a great job and his wife was a pro at maxing out my yearly insurance.

Do you still have the sash and scepter r417?

[quote]I’ve got the itch in the left quadrant of my ass to hear some Skeeter Davis.

Why does the sun go on shining?

Why does this ass of mine itch?

Visiting my parents for the weekend. My mom is making French toast and sausage. My dad is reading the paper. I am sprawled on the couch. I am feeling all the feels this morning.

I dreamed last night that I asked a young handsome guy if I could suck his dick and he said yes! Just as I was going down on him, I thought, "this is literally too good to be true" and then "this must be a dream" and then I woke up. Geez, sabotaging my own happiness.

But saving your sheets r421.

These Korean pears I've been eating taste so nice, like roses, almost.

Stomach bug, ugh. I can't do anything today except stay close to the bathroom. Hope I feel better tomorrow.

I just took the bird feeders down after watching local news and seeing bears out and about.

Bears? Wow. Little bit scary.

Sorry you're not feeling well, R424. Hope you have tea and/or ginger ale and crackers.

Thinking about bears in my environment is whelming.

Glad you took the feeders down.

Oh hold with Verizon 30 minutes and starting to get whelmed.

I want a salty snack but all I have is microwave popcorn. Seems like too much trouble.

R430 I bought some salted marble rye today and can't stop eating it simply with butter. Yum.

How is microwaved popcorn too much trouble? Sounds easy, to me.

Popcorn is not this butthole’s friend.

I’m going double protein, double salad because I don’t want to make a starch.

Desert is a few Hostess strawberry cheesecake donuts. They are playdough donuts that have no naturally occurring ingredients in them and I could eat them all day.

I watch the flight attendant give the safety instructions every time I fly.

I do it because nobody else is watching and I want to be a polite member of the audience.

I long for one day when one will notice I’m attentively watching so my eyes can signal encouragement.

I actually do the same thing, R434. And even I think it's sort of nuts.

I've had male flight attendants offer me their contact info when they've seen me watching.

So I stopped.

[quote] I watch the flight attendant give the safety instructions every time I fly.

I wonder why they don't just video record those instructions and play them on the screens (on the plane). Maybe it's a rule that you have to have a live, human giving those instructions.

Red grapes keep longer than you'd think. I have mine in the crisper drawer and they've been in there for about a month. Except for the odd shriveled one they're perfectly okay.

[quote]I've had male flight attendants offer me their contact info when they've seen me watching. So I stopped.

Really? I'm going to start!

It was a video on my last flight. Elaborately produced.

United

I truly wanted to be underwhelmed, but I bought one of those Triple Fudge Chocolate cakes from Aldi, and it overwhelmed me with it's tastiness.

(New) I want to be underwhelmed Spring 2023 edition

We don’t start a new thread until the existing one is full.

^^Fuck off

[faints]

[quote]I bought one of those Triple Fudge Chocolate cakes from Aldi, and it overwhelmed me with it's tastiness.

Oh, dear.

Starting new thread TOO early = Whelming

Worrying about it = Stupid

^ I rest my case.

[quote]no way to go through life, son

D-D-Daddy?

I've had a wood splinter in my right index finger for three days.

I just haven't gotten around to taking it out.

Once your finger falls off r451, the problem will have resolved itself.

[quote]Leaving a splinter in the skin can cause inflammation, infection and permanent bumps in the skin, medical experts said.

wtf r442? It may be spring but stop wasting bandwidth by starting new threads too early. And for the love of god, post a link to the goddamned previous thread when you do start a new thread.

Completely and utterly whelmed now. Good day.

R454, Mother really! Please come back. What will I tell Larry and Louise?

The lake is thawing and there were two Canada geese out on the open part today. I love wildlife.

I think Climate Change is confusing my perception of the seasons...

Is this Mid-Winter or Spring?

Why so many threads/

I now know an Andrew. I used to be famous to myself for my Aunt Bea impression, asking Andy to grab Opie and come in for some hot pie.

That impression is dead. Nobody will get it. Perhaps, I’ll save it for dogs and cats. They enjoy silly voices.

My dog gets agitated if I do strange voices or sing. He'll come and lick my face to make me stop.

Now that a good amount of snow has melted from my yard, I'm seeing hundreds if not a thousand branches and limbs scattered all over the place from the very windy winter. I'll be spring cleaning inside and out.

I'm still not completely over my stomach bug. It's been one shitty week!

Two fighter jets just flew over my quiet section of New England. Rare.

I haven't washed my hair since Monday. It got wet in the shower this morning and is still damp six hours later. It has almost a chalky feel. I will wash it tonight before bed.

I'm watching the new "Boston Strangler" movie and Hulu and enjoying it.

Not to whelm those who may not be into to True Crime stories, but this has always fascinated me.

(And it doesn't feel whelming since it was so long ago and all the players are dead.)

After reading through the DL thread headlines -

I can't stop picturing a lecherous Judge Judy Sheindlin molesting Sheryl Lee Ralph.

"Come on baby, just piss on my leg and tell me it's raining. You know you love it, honey!"

It's really warm today but with a nice balmy breeze...almost like being at the beach.

I have underwhleming events I'd like to post on the "Spring 2023" version of this thread, but I can't leave this thread unfinished.

Well then, you can probably just skip the spring thread and hop into the summer one when this one is completed.

It looks beautiful outside. I'm going to go for a walk at 5 pm ET. Tomorrow, it's supposed to rain all day so getting out today. Thank goodness for DST.

R469 The Senate has already voted to "stop the clocks" and not change them again in Fall 2023 but the The House hasn't done shit about it.

R470, the Today Show had a physician on the Monday after the clocks changed. She suggested that if we stop changing the clocks, we should stick with Standard Time to be in snyc with our natural circadian rhythm.

I often wonder why they don't make lemon-flavored Pop Tarts. I would buy them.

I went to the health food store and got my bulk spices (oregano & cumin powder).

I was looking for rooibos tea bags and a grouchy but helpful worker informed me that they sell loose rooibos tea (bulk). So, I bought some loose rooibos tea and a tea ball on a chain. The tea ball may be too huge for my needs, but the tea balls attached to the handles looked like they weren't going to hold enough tea.

My income won’t let me shop and I will be ok.

I want a neutral shirt, sweater, pants, and perhaps a light jacket. I can’t wade through everyone’s idea of tan.

I'm on my fourth day of a migraine (multiple weather fronts as triggers) and the pain is boring.

I've been having night sweats lately, WTF? I'm not a woman with menopause. I'm tired of having to wash my bedding everyday.

^ Just be thankful you won't be staining your nice clothes with all that menstrual blood anymore, honey.

Yeah R476 types like a heavy flow gal.

I've hauled out my slow cooker from a lower kitchen cabinet and will use it to cook a beef brisket overnight tonight.

I will season it with Penzeys Mitchell Street blend.

10-12 hours on LOW.

A new client walked in and asked to speak with the dude with the tiny head. It took me a minute to figure out to whom he was referring.

Now, I think about it whenever I work with him. He’s a kid talking about working out. I’m going to support him in his efforts. This is going to be mildly fun.

R476, it's cute to use "night sweats" as a euphemism for "a bed-wetting issue." But the latter is nothing to be ashamed of. Perhaps something here would help, meant in a friendly, underwhelming way?

(Okay then - night sweats can be seasonal (a bedroom can seem as cool when we go to bed as in the winter, so we keep the thermostat where it's been, but spring makes a difference through the night. Also, I've found that eating - especially beef! - later in the day can trigger it. Medication can do it, or, of course, some health issues can cause sweats, but I'm not suggesting anything like that. Best of luck.)

I wonder who is behind the DL conspiracy to avoid threads and discussions about the Dyatlov Pass incident.

I feel everyone has deserted the Mid-Winter thread for the Spring thread...which I find whelming.

Well, it's spring r483.

Do catch up.

These titles are not deadlines.

The nice thing about being self-centered is that I don’t even know there is another thread until this one limits out.

I unpacked my warm-weather wardrobe and I have slutwear. If you see a bitterunderweight queen in Just Cavalli, it’s a me.

I'm tempted to do the same r486 but too lazy, Although if I keep procrastinating with work today maybe I will get to it.

[quote]a bitter underweight queen in Just Cavalli

Pics please.

I just woke up!

Got a haircut.

Two more days of work this week and then I'm off. Then I work 4 days next week and am off again. My company gives us Good Friday as a holiday.

So, y’all are going to leave this thread unfinished?

Lemmings.

My car was iced over this morning so definitely appropriate for this mid-winter thread.

I found another small abandoned plant - little plastic tab states it’s “Primula acaulis“.

They grow best when taken, found, or stolen.

I took a vacation day today so I can have a nice 3-day weekend.

My furnace is making a funny noise.

I got my cat a new feeding dish! She’s grateful.

R497, how could you tell your cat was grateful?

She came upstairs and climbed into bed and snuggled.

I've been cold all week and normally I'm always hot.

And the weather is going to be colder over the next week.

I've been under my lightweight comforter off and on for most of the day...too damn cold

Since the pandemic, I take fewer showers.

R502, you need to take daily showers, again. I'm sorry, but don't use the pandemic as a forever excuse to skip showers.

We visited a care facility we're considering for my mother-in-law. I was so impressed - it really looks more like an upscale hotel than a care facility. I keep thinking of it and imagining myself living there.

[quote]you need to take daily showers, again. I'm sorry, but don't use the pandemic as a forever excuse to skip showers.

Whatev...I've spent my whole life showering too often.

Now, I don't have to wash nearly as often and I enjoy my showers so much more when I take one every other day or every two days.

Who's the asshole who declared it Spring?

I clipped and filed my fingernails today, and I’m ready for anything.

Unless, of course, I get into a fight with someone, in which case I won’t be able to run my nails down my assailant’s face.

^ Keep your phone-dialing pencil handy for defending yourself against an assailant.

I made a pot of curry, yesterday. I usually put a can of diced tomatoes in my curry. Sounds weird, maybe, but tastes good. This time, I used Muir Glen *crushed* fire-roasted tomatoes and I think the tomato taste might be too strong.

It's the "fire-roasted" flavor, r509. It's horrible. I stopped buying Muir Glen after picking up a can of fire-roasted accidentally twice.

Now I use Cento whole tomatoes. They are my favorite. And you don't need to buy the San Marzano.

Mmm, now I'm thinking of how much I want a good curry dish.

I'm not exactly a mug-cradler but a good warm curry would be good on a coldish rainy day.

My neighbor bought a new Volkswagen ID.4 electric SUV.

It's beautiful, but I keep thinking how much it cost, and how he'll have to plan car trips around charging stations.

I'd really love to have an electric vehicle, but I worry we don't have recharging infrastructure we need to support these vehicles on road trips.

and how much the driving range of EV batteries will likely improve in the coming years.

[quote]^ Keep your phone-dialing pencil handy for defending yourself against an assailant.

Not to mention aggressive birds.

I'm having that feeling when none of the food in my house is appealing to me...regardless of how much food I have

I could go for some curry and avacado toast, that's weird, right?

[quote]Now, I don't have to wash nearly as often and I enjoy my showers so much more when I take one every other day or every two days.

Trying to figure out the difference between "every other day" and "every two days" has left me whelmed. Don't they mean the same thing?

Good thinking, R508. I feel better now.

R513, I saw my first Rivian pickup in traffic today. The world is changing.

We have Ford Mustang SUVs that look like wolferines in my neighborhood - zaftig, yet cut/muscular.

I wonder if that model is the Walmart version of the Porsche “Panera?”SUV .

I didn't even realize there was a Mustang SUV. Not popular in my area. I do like the regular Mustang, though.

R510, if you're still around, I actually like the "fire-roasted" flavor of the Muir Glen. What I did find out is that "diced" canned tomatoes have a chemical in it to help retain the diced texture.

You might like Bianco brand whole tomatoes. They sell crushed, as well.

I wish I had the energy to make a hearty soup or stew.

Oh, yeah, r522. I never buy diced tomatoes. That hard edge is so unappetizing. I buy whole tomatoes and break them up a little with my stick blender.

I think I'll try Bianco next (I just opened a new case of Centos). You're not the first person to recommend Bianco.

Severe thunderstorms are about to hit the NYC area. Good luck everyone.

I am so much lazier since I finally got my Alexa last Christmas. I had to unplug it last week, and I was lost now that I suddenly had to write shit down.

My tax preparer just finished my taxes. I underpaid for 2022 and I also have to pay estimated taxes for 2023 (first quarter). So, boom, there went my bank account balance.

[quote]I'm on my fourth day of a migraine (multiple weather fronts as triggers) and the pain is boring.

R475 The wind and / or damp weather brought mine on. Finally was daignosed with sinus issues not migraines. Had a sinuplasty procedure and haven't had a a headache since.

My big toe hurts. Gout?

R529- If it's swollen then I would say yes.

I'm eating fruit for breakfast later. Today I'm also eating some dried fruit ( apricots, plums, dates, figs) which I soak in water for three hours then drain before consuming them with my regular fruit.

I don't understand soaking dried fruits in water. The nice thing about dried fruit, IMO, is the texture (chewy) and concentration of flavor.

Storage.

[quote]My big toe hurts. Gout?

Are you Jiggs from the comic strip "Bringing Up Father"? If so, then it's definitely gout.

If you think you have gout, get your blood checked so you can start on uric acid-lowering meds. They're cheap and effective and prevent cumulative joint damage. Also, stay hydrated, the last thing you want are kidney stones.

R532 - it’s never water; it’s vitamin booze.

I pretty much eaten whatever I wanted this weekend, and it's been nice.

What did you eat, R537?

I’m already on uric-acid meds, but this is pain in a new location.

If you have gout, you'll know it. It's anything but underwhelming. I had it once about 20 years ago, and just the top sheet being dragged across my big toe was excruciating. Maybe start a thread, gout guy.

R540- I got it once when I was on a trip to Cuba. The pain was EXHAUSTING. I drove my car home from the airport- just putting my foot on the accelerator pedal caused considerable pain.

R540 I agree. I had it twice and the barely touch of a sheet on my big toe brought me to tears. I limped to the ER and was given liquids and antibiotics. Was out of there is two hours. Hurt like shit but taken care of quickly..

I have had gout diagnosed in a different location. Pain was about the same. Not excruciating.

We need to start a gout thread

It’s still winter in Gay, Michigan.

I'm heartened to see that this thread hasn't been abandoned and might actually be completed, despite the itchy trigger finger of whoever created the springtime thread.

We crave the comfort of routine.

r542 -- Why would your quack medicos give you an antibiotic for gout?!

I don't know why I've said that. In Cuba was the WORST case of it because I did not know what it was and therefore had no medicine on me to treat it and as I said earlier the pain was EXHAUSTING. I have bouts of Gout plenty of times after that time in Cuba. My doctor told me to take Naproxen Sodium- 212 like the area code. Two at breakfast time, one at lunchtime and two after dinner everyday for five days. I've done this when the Gout starts acting up and that almost always does the trick.

I will go for a walk this afternoon. I need to do more than my usual 30+ minutes, which is walking 3 laps around my complex (it's a circle). I used to go out for a much longer walk but, once Winter hit and the time change back to EST, it got dark too early. After work is my preferred time since I don't have to worry about how long I've been gone.. So happy to be able to do my after work walks again!

My sleeping pill is not working and I need to fall asleep now so that I can wake up on time. Maybe I should have brewed some camomile as well.

Let me tell you about margining country risk for foreign investments, R551. While some believe there’s a country risk attached to foreign bonds and equities, that risk is actually inside of the actual spot price of the instrument and the residual is simply a mark to market change. I’d like to discuss the math, but I’m most comfortable with yen cross rates.

Uh-oh.

R550 here. I did get a chance to go for my walk yesterday afternoon. Went for a 2.5 miles walk around my neighborhood. I wanted to walk a little farther but it was chillier than I thought, and breezier. I wasn't appropriately dressed. Still, not bad.

I've reviewed the underwhlemed Spring thread - not impressed.

I was quite impressed with all of Cosmo's dental advice.

[quote]I've reviewed the underwhlemed Spring thread - not impressed.

So, by definition, it is wildly successful?

I finally found a tea (tea bag) that I like! Celestial Seasonings rooibos vanilla. They don't sell it at my closest supermarket, though. They sell it at a health food store that's a little further away - same store where I get my bulk stuff.

I’m finding having two threads at once to be stressful.

You think that's stressful, At the grocery store today, I had to tie off 4 produce bags around oversize vegetables without twist ties. Seems like the cheapskates in charge have decided to save a few pennies by never providing ties again.

I never see those twist ties in the produce section, anymore. I don't really miss them.

I never saw those twist ties in the produce section.

Buck never would have BEEN in the produce section.

Day five of Huel for breakfast and lunch. The gas….my ass is making long winded clarinet noises and I’m wondering if I could/should train.

Gout STILL bothering me.

Had some good macroni salad today.

I opened a can of Grilled Baked Beans and I was surprised at how good they are.

Beans, beans, good for your heart,

The more you eat, the more you...

I need to look up “Shimmer” the SNL advertisement for the dessert topping / floor coating. It’s been on my mind.

I am YouTubing old episodes of British panel shows. Russel Brand was so, so annoying. I keep hoping Jimmy Carr will haul off and slug him. Alas, no.

Hercule Poirot really is a good detective.

The greatest, mon ami.

Sigh. I need a new computer, but I don’t want to pay for one.

^ Same.

This is what keeps me from buying a country estate in the Cotswalds.

How are Harvard beets different from other beets?

I think sharing our underwhelmings in Mid-Winter is so much better than that upstart Spring thread.

[quote]Still Cold and Wet Here

Story of your life r576.

^ weird, but you make everyone feel completely dry R577

I'm flummoxed why they call the third finger the "middle" finger, aren't the index, ring and middle finger all "middle fingers?

No, the index and ring fingers are not "middle fingers." Don't know why you're flummoxed.

So, I have all the ingredients for a decent chili and half the ingredients for a cioppino. I could make a fake cioppino, but this is important. I have been ruminating on fish stew for the last week.

I don’t even have crusty bread.

This is a pleasant conundrum.

The stars are bright tonight.

R581, what do you have, as far as ingredients, for a cioppino?

I don't want to go to bed yet, but there hasn't been a new comment on DL in 10 minutes, at least.

I suspect we're being protected from ourselves, R584.

Not that his whelms me.

^^^"Not that this"

R583, I have fresh tomatoes and onion/celery/garlic,, mussels, crab meat, and cod, but I need fish stock and some good bread. I don’t fuck with baking.

I don’t want to get too whelming, but this is a in-the-mood-for-sexay dish. Not full whore- more goofy sensual dork…. Hence, the underwhelm

R587, could you sub in chicken stock for the fish stock? I love cioppino. I think I'd survive without bread. Maybe a side of rice.

R508, I want to buy interesting shellfish because I haven’t made this dish in some time.

Extra-special underwhelm: I’m in Seattle and I have a wide range of fish available, but I remain incurious for some reason.

R589, what do you mean "interesting shellfish"? My choice would be scallops.

Talking about money gets me so fucking horny, r552. If you were to whisper that in my ear late at night, believe me, neither one of us would be underwhelmed for long.

Now, back to watering my plants.

[quote]Still Cold and Wet Here

Tired? You bet.

Being 8 posts away from closing out this thread is not underwhelming.

When I go for my walk around my complex, I look at the inspection stickers to see who has new cars and who hasn't gone to inspection since before the pandemic. Lots of new cars but one old minivan with a 2019 sticker in the window. I wonder when the cops will ticket this person.

Yeah, I'm proud of our commitment in finishing this thread before rushing over to the Spring thread.

Ricky Racardo are you going to let me be in the show or not.

R594, this is what I found when I walked around my neighborhood the other day.

I'm gonna need a little lie-down r597.

The pic isn't too bad, but the actual vehicle could whelm.

Where are all those lemmings who went running after the prematurely posted new thread?