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Oh, Florida. And I Don’t Mean Evans!

A man defecated on the floor of a restaurant in Fort Myers after breaking in early Saturday morning and stealing alcohol and other items.

The Fort Myers Police Department needs help identifying the suspect.

According to the FMPD, around 2:30 a.m. on Saturday, the suspect climbed through a small window at Joe’s Crab Shack on 2024 W. First Street in Fort Myers.

The suspect then stole various items including alcohol. And before leaving the suspect defecated on the floor of the restaurant before leaving the building.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 25January 22, 2023 10:58 PM

[quote] A man defecated on the floor of a restaurant in Fort Myers

Sounds about right.

by Anonymousreply 1January 22, 2023 6:54 PM
Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 2January 22, 2023 7:03 PM

Wait... doesn't everybody shit on the floor after breaking and entering?

by Anonymousreply 3January 22, 2023 7:09 PM

Anyone who eats at a Joe’s Crab Shack in Fort Myers deserves to be shit on!

by Anonymousreply 4January 22, 2023 7:10 PM

The fecal evidence didn’t do much to narrow down the suspect list…turns out the person recently ate at Captain D’s Seafood and the Waffle House.

by Anonymousreply 5January 22, 2023 7:28 PM

Does that mean he's left behind some DNA?

by Anonymousreply 6January 22, 2023 7:41 PM

A strand of hair would have sufficed, r6.

by Anonymousreply 7January 22, 2023 7:43 PM

That was his review. He's even shittier on Yelp.

by Anonymousreply 8January 22, 2023 7:43 PM

Yes R6. He's an idiot. But anyone have size meat verificatia? Slow night here chez moi.

by Anonymousreply 9January 22, 2023 7:43 PM

Ron Defecantis

by Anonymousreply 10January 22, 2023 7:44 PM

[quote] The fecal evidence didn’t do much to narrow down the suspect list

If the shit don’t hit, you must acquit.

by Anonymousreply 11January 22, 2023 8:02 PM

Shitty burglar.

by Anonymousreply 12January 22, 2023 8:14 PM

Thought he shat during store hours! No story here.

by Anonymousreply 13January 22, 2023 8:22 PM

We live in the greatest country in the world… where people SHIT ON THE FLOOR….

by Anonymousreply 14January 22, 2023 8:25 PM

Flawduh, once Ponce de Leon's target in his quest for the Fountain of Youth, proves instead to be the Fountain of Feces

by Anonymousreply 15January 22, 2023 8:28 PM

He’s got a nice bulge.

by Anonymousreply 16January 22, 2023 8:30 PM

I don’t see it, r16.

by Anonymousreply 17January 22, 2023 8:45 PM

In one pic he is grabbing at his bulge, but you can't make out anything definite. Is he hispanic?

by Anonymousreply 18January 22, 2023 8:47 PM

Where’s the video? I want to see the brown coming down!

by Anonymousreply 19January 22, 2023 9:00 PM

They're not sending their best.

by Anonymousreply 20January 22, 2023 9:33 PM

Passhing shtool at a shmart sheafood reshtaurant? SHAD!

by Anonymousreply 21January 22, 2023 9:37 PM

He should have shit on the floor of the governor's mansion

by Anonymousreply 22January 22, 2023 9:47 PM

Must have been an ex employee

by Anonymousreply 23January 22, 2023 9:53 PM

PERMANENT SHITHOLE STATUS

by Anonymousreply 24January 22, 2023 10:12 PM

That's hot.

by Anonymousreply 25January 22, 2023 10:58 PM
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