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“Fitfat” Top Marries “champagne swilling, Disney movie loving” Bossy Bottom

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by Anonymousreply 223January 24, 2023 3:10 AM
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by Anonymousreply 1January 15, 2023 5:36 PM

Plot twist - fitfat is is the bottom.

by Anonymousreply 2January 15, 2023 5:37 PM

That wedding website was....something.

by Anonymousreply 3January 15, 2023 5:38 PM

If they are happy - more power to them

OP is jealous

by Anonymousreply 4January 15, 2023 5:40 PM

Neither will age well.

by Anonymousreply 5January 15, 2023 5:40 PM

A multi-day destination wedding in France? Two “large Southern families” still dining out on their largesse from the slave trade, it would seem.

by Anonymousreply 6January 15, 2023 5:41 PM

Oh, honey…he’s just fat.

by Anonymousreply 7January 15, 2023 5:45 PM

Fat people are funny

by Anonymousreply 8January 15, 2023 5:45 PM

Shoes with no socks for a late December wedding? Ça ne se fait pas !

by Anonymousreply 9January 15, 2023 5:47 PM

William was a featured “Bachelor Of The Week” on some Ole Miss related website back when he was an undergrad. He was looking for a lady with “Consistent showering habits” and no bad hygiene. A fear of stinky pussy pushed him into the arms of Parker!

Meet your Bachelor Of The Week, William Wildman III.

Hometown: Laurel, Miss.

Year: Junior.

Greek affiliation: Kappa Sigma.

Major: International studies and French.

What do you like to do in your free time? I like to be outside, and I like to eat.

What would be your ideal date in Oxford? We would go to the tower at the end of Whirlpool Trails to watch the sunset and then get dinner at Bouré.

What do you look for first in a girl? Consistent showering habits.

And what is the greatest turn-off? Bad hygiene.

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by Anonymousreply 10January 15, 2023 5:48 PM

tl;dr

by Anonymousreply 11January 15, 2023 5:48 PM

We've heard.

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by Anonymousreply 12January 15, 2023 5:49 PM

Yes R12 but that thread title and lack of a link was a shitshow that even the OP admitted he totally fucked up.

by Anonymousreply 13January 15, 2023 5:52 PM

There's no "fit" in that "fitfat".

by Anonymousreply 14January 15, 2023 5:54 PM

Whoever picked that ridiculous font for the website should be drawn and quartered.

by Anonymousreply 15January 15, 2023 5:54 PM

You don't care for the original thread, OP?

by Anonymousreply 16January 15, 2023 5:54 PM

Why do they have an aversion to socks?

Good for them! I'm glad they found love in each other. And wildman's parents can stick it, if they cannot accept their son as the fine, upstanding man he is!

by Anonymousreply 17January 15, 2023 5:55 PM

They had "love is love is blind" inscribed on their wedding invitations.

by Anonymousreply 18January 15, 2023 5:55 PM

Is the bottom feeding Willie those “weight loss” chocolate bars that Regina George got from Cady?

by Anonymousreply 19January 15, 2023 6:02 PM

The names are too Tennessee Williams to bare.

by Anonymousreply 20January 15, 2023 6:03 PM

The little one is headed towards her parTy years.

by Anonymousreply 21January 15, 2023 6:03 PM

Fiddle De Dee, we request your presence for the marriage of two Ole Miss Kweens!

by Anonymousreply 22January 15, 2023 6:05 PM

Where was the gangba… I mean, honeymoon?

by Anonymousreply 23January 15, 2023 6:06 PM

‘From Hotty Toddy to the Big Easy, this love is one for the ages.’

by Anonymousreply 24January 15, 2023 6:06 PM

Having both "studied" at Ole Miss, Parker and William are no strangers to having a good time. Ultimately, it was Parker's natural proclivities to "laissez les bon-temps roulez" that caught William's attention at the pool at Brighton Village in Oxford, MS, as Parker popped the cork on a bottle of Veuve Clicquot. After texting and messaging back and forth, the two went on a couple of lunch dates and got to know each other a little more, but knowing he was about to leave for some time abroad, William ultimately decided the timing was wrong and left for France soon thereafter. Parker would go on to invest most of his time learning from and shadowing the fabulous Elizabeth Heiskell, and upon William's return to Oxford from France, Parker had moved on to a fast-paced life in the catering world with little patience for a man who can't make up his mind. Before leaving Oxford again after graduation, William promised Parker that if fate ever crossed their paths again, he wouldn't fight it. Fast forward to 2019, Parker has moved to New Orleans to begin his career in interior design, and William is interviewing for a job at Tulane. William called Parker, not knowing if his call would even go through, and after dinner that evening, William admitted that fate had found its way, and the rest is sweet, sweet history.

by Anonymousreply 25January 15, 2023 6:07 PM

The dress code includes detailed instructions. Obnoxious.

by Anonymousreply 26January 15, 2023 6:09 PM

Fags imitating Fraus.

by Anonymousreply 27January 15, 2023 6:10 PM

Destination weddings are obnoxious.

by Anonymousreply 28January 15, 2023 6:10 PM

The bottom groom is gorgeous

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by Anonymousreply 29January 15, 2023 6:13 PM

The registry

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by Anonymousreply 30January 15, 2023 6:14 PM

The newlywed’s domicile

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by Anonymousreply 31January 15, 2023 6:14 PM

R31 (2) GWM bottoms seek multiple blk tops for NSA Anon fun. Cum & Go parTy.

by Anonymousreply 32January 15, 2023 6:19 PM

They should have spent less on the destination wedding and more on the house.

by Anonymousreply 33January 15, 2023 6:21 PM

The bottom groom has really, REALLY bad sartorial taste… and, based on the basic bitch Noritake china in that wedding registry list, no taste otherwise as well.

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by Anonymousreply 34January 15, 2023 6:26 PM

I have no reservation to critique these queens, because I’ve lived enough to know that if we met in real life they’d be nice at first, then would discard me after I was run through the gauntlet of one of their typical social climbing inquisitions.

Where’d you go to school?

What do you do?

Where are your parents from?

What do your parents do?

Which would all be followed by a humblebrag about themselves and their family’s legacy of “accomplishments” to close the conversation, before we parted ways and never spoke again.

by Anonymousreply 35January 15, 2023 6:28 PM

Gurrrrrllllll !!!!

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by Anonymousreply 36January 15, 2023 6:30 PM

R34 my god, the Gucci. She thinks she’s a talented ID.

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by Anonymousreply 37January 15, 2023 6:30 PM

R36 screenshot that for when she takes it down after she discovers these threads

by Anonymousreply 38January 15, 2023 6:30 PM

I threw up on my zola screen when I read that they'd "curated the colors for our wedding."

Also, those zola pics of Fitfat show a handsome profile, while Bossy looks like an annoying bird.

by Anonymousreply 39January 15, 2023 6:31 PM

Blush and bashful!

by Anonymousreply 40January 15, 2023 6:33 PM

[quote][R34] my god, the Gucci. She thinks she’s a talented ID.

...and "piquebypk's" hashtags aplenty!:

#livingroomdecor #tradwithatwist #homestylingideas #homestylingtips #preppygrandhome #decoratemyhome #classichome #interiorfeature #mixingoldwithnew #thenewsouthern #aswellingtoremmeber #graciousliving #graciouslivingstyle #collectabeautfullife #classicdecor #piquebypk #interiordesign #customdesign #traditionalhome #preppygrandhome

by Anonymousreply 41January 15, 2023 6:35 PM

R35 A roommate that I had for about 8 months around 30 years ago contacted me out of the blue. I'm not on facebook and don't have other socials. So this queen found my sibling across the country and got my phone number through her.

He is a corporate climber and every damn question was a veiled attempt, and not so veiled attempts, at trying to estimate my net worth. He flat out asked me how much I paid for my house and then asked the year I purchased it. I'm guessing he was trying to figure out how much equity I have in the property.

It was a gross conversation. Hopefully I won't have to speak to him for another 30 years.

by Anonymousreply 42January 15, 2023 6:39 PM

I don't have the energy to get started. I'm just so glad I didn't have to go.

by Anonymousreply 43January 15, 2023 6:45 PM

Big Boy did say he liked to eat in his Batchelor profile.

And no stinky pussy.

Both show.

by Anonymousreply 44January 15, 2023 6:46 PM

Two or three of these photos have gone into Miss Shawn Mendes's Dream Wedding Pinterest

by Anonymousreply 45January 15, 2023 6:48 PM

Considering they went to Ole Miss (no mention of graduating) they don't have much to brag about on that front.

by Anonymousreply 46January 15, 2023 6:52 PM

Wait—I’m confused. I thought he was looking for a woman with good hygiene. Did he give up?

by Anonymousreply 47January 15, 2023 6:53 PM

[quote]upon William's return to Oxford from France, Parker had moved on to a fast-paced life in the catering world with little patience for a man who can't make up his mind.

Well, when you're involved in the go-go catering lifestyle who has time for an indecisive man? These mini quiches are like me, hot and ready to be passed around!

by Anonymousreply 48January 15, 2023 6:56 PM

The histrionic one is doing a full Homo Turn-out on Willie. He’s one of those guys who was attractive in frat attire then meets this queen and is wearing purple sneakers and leopard eyeglasses. Being gay doesn’t mean you have to be a peacocking queen.

by Anonymousreply 49January 15, 2023 6:57 PM

You are bitter resentful people. They look very nice and happy to me.

by Anonymousreply 50January 15, 2023 7:02 PM

R50 like attracts like, nice to see you here.

by Anonymousreply 51January 15, 2023 7:03 PM

R50 Honey bear, how old are you?

by Anonymousreply 52January 15, 2023 7:04 PM

R50 comes into a thread that is very obviously a roast, for what? To feel holier-than-thou? If it weren’t for “resentful people” like us where would you get material for that Saint complex, you know the narrative that you play in your head to keep going and feel superior. Fuck off, cunt!

by Anonymousreply 53January 15, 2023 7:06 PM

R50 is here for the cooking and M3GAN threads

by Anonymousreply 54January 15, 2023 7:06 PM

R50 is the mother of the bride.

by Anonymousreply 55January 15, 2023 7:09 PM

How much does NYT charge for a piece like this?

by Anonymousreply 56January 15, 2023 7:10 PM

Why is the one on the left smiling so hard? If he tried any harder, he’d have a bowel movement.

by Anonymousreply 57January 15, 2023 7:11 PM

Both are rather middle - class Joes pretending desperately to be aristocracy

by Anonymousreply 58January 15, 2023 7:14 PM

Willie needs to lay off the sauce.

by Anonymousreply 59January 15, 2023 7:14 PM

R57, either the other groom's family has money, or Leftie is Madame's social-climbing little brother.

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by Anonymousreply 60January 15, 2023 7:16 PM

Reading through the article, it doesn't seem like either family has much money

by Anonymousreply 61January 15, 2023 7:20 PM

R61, they’ve got moxie!

by Anonymousreply 62January 15, 2023 7:21 PM

She wears those fuzzy Gucci slippers everywhere, they must be teeming with microbes.

by Anonymousreply 63January 15, 2023 7:23 PM

From the looks of the socials, Big Willie might be the famewhore.

by Anonymousreply 64January 15, 2023 7:26 PM

They have panache, R61 !

by Anonymousreply 65January 15, 2023 7:27 PM

Speaking of the real mother of the bride R55, she’s the one that keeps him in the worst possible fashion victim pieces from Gucci and Dior Homme and funds his dilettante decorating & lifestyle curation “biz”.

While not mega rich, she’s a twice divorced, three times married, go getter real estate agent who got decent settlements from the first two hubbies. And, unlike William’s uptight parents, she revels in her son being gay (which is great) and encourages his flamboyant tastes (which are dreadfully bad, unfortunately).

by Anonymousreply 66January 15, 2023 7:27 PM

R66 sounds like a prolific stereotype of a southern woman.

Daddy issues (wink, wink) , but takes out the anger by being successful and while never challenging the patriarchy, she is all too glad to emasculate her own son.

1. It keeps him around.

2. she gets to desecrate a male and get her silent revenge.

by Anonymousreply 67January 15, 2023 7:33 PM

R66 give us more inside scoop.

What did Big Willie’s fam think when he showed up with Tinkerbell?

by Anonymousreply 68January 15, 2023 7:34 PM

You know what true Homo TrustFund Nepo Babies like Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper never traipse around town in?

Gucci.

by Anonymousreply 69January 15, 2023 7:40 PM

No one with class wears Gucci.

by Anonymousreply 70January 15, 2023 7:42 PM

Bitch, R50, this isn’t your best girlfriend’s FB page. We won’t tell you you’re pretty when you aren’t (or even if you are.)

Now get back to your macrame.

by Anonymousreply 71January 15, 2023 7:46 PM

I happy they found each other and they're in love, but their website is so pretentious and pompous. They sound exhausting.

by Anonymousreply 72January 15, 2023 7:55 PM

R72 but are they, Blanche?

by Anonymousreply 73January 15, 2023 7:57 PM

R68: "Big Willie" for the win! Lol.

by Anonymousreply 74January 15, 2023 7:58 PM

R68, it was likely par for the course for Big Willie. The whole family likely snickered behind their Juleps when the poor thing publicly declared what kind of well groomed and hygienic woman he would go for. Of course that was back in college when he was trying to be straight. No one caught on to that act.

by Anonymousreply 75January 15, 2023 8:05 PM

Big Willie is ginger adjacent

by Anonymousreply 76January 15, 2023 8:07 PM

That’s all the scoop I’ve got R68. My niece was at Ole Miss and graduated the same year the NYTimes piece reported that Parker did… so I sent her the article and asked if she knew these guys.

Turns out she knew a lot about Parker because he was a sort of court jester among a big group of sorority girls who were amused by his “hey, girl!!!” antics and the attention he would shower them with. Seems like he was a real anomaly on an otherwise unbelievably conservative campus, so more power to him in that regard. She had met his mom and knew all of that family background.

She said that even though he was essentially a pretty nice guy and never flat out mean, he was also over the top pretentious and snobby (very judgmental about *which* sorority a girl was in and shit like that) and that he could get real tedious, real quick.

She says she didn’t know the William guy very well, except that it was the worst kept secret on campus that he was a big old closeted queen because Parker wasn’t discreet about their first fling. In her view, they rewrote history for the NYTimes piece because it was more clandestine and Parker blabbed to his sorority girl circle that William dumped him the first time around because he was too flamboyant and didn’t want their true relationship to be known.

Anyway, I can’t judge that because maybe he was still figuring himself out and thinking if only he could find the perfect, truly freshly showered girl he’d finally be attracted to one, LOL. But all snark aside, I’m glad the fitfat guy finally came to terms with being gay and proud. Good for him.

by Anonymousreply 77January 15, 2023 8:07 PM

Marines are supposed to be masculine. These two shatter that image.

by Anonymousreply 78January 15, 2023 8:09 PM

R77 thank you

by Anonymousreply 79January 15, 2023 8:11 PM

So based on our new intel, is it a matter of time before Big Willie finds a more masc situation and dumps Tinkerbell?

by Anonymousreply 80January 15, 2023 8:12 PM

Sounds like rat fink is holding Willie’s head over a barrel. If they move to a bigger city, it’ll last 2 years tops. This is definitely two people who fell together by being in a small pond.

by Anonymousreply 81January 15, 2023 8:15 PM

That is some dish R66!!!

by Anonymousreply 82January 15, 2023 8:16 PM

Parker is likely hiding and overcompensating for some ethnic or class-based shame. Is their a "white" Cuban in the family tree? Former sharecroppers? Someone or something very Not Our Kind.

by Anonymousreply 83January 15, 2023 8:16 PM

Ole Miss is a racist campus.

by Anonymousreply 84January 15, 2023 8:17 PM

Two nobody Kweens from Mississippi put a feature about their wedding in the NYT. I’m still baffled about how that happened.

by Anonymousreply 85January 15, 2023 8:19 PM

Big Willie must be throwing on the lbs by drinking away the shame of being gay.

by Anonymousreply 86January 15, 2023 8:22 PM

After looking at that registry, I want to head down south and punch them in their faces.

by Anonymousreply 87January 15, 2023 8:25 PM

[quote]As it turned out, Mr. Kennedy was known for toting around bottles of champagne

Where I'm from we call that an alcoholic.

by Anonymousreply 88January 15, 2023 8:28 PM

I wonder if the one from Laurel knows DL fave Big Ben?

by Anonymousreply 89January 15, 2023 8:30 PM

Any gay who has a gaggle of girlfriends will be drama. Also, those fag hags will drop you like a hot potato when marriage or kids come along. Gays are just accessories to girls from 14-28.

by Anonymousreply 90January 15, 2023 8:31 PM

This will end in Trans.

by Anonymousreply 91January 15, 2023 8:33 PM

[quote] The lack of communication frustrated Mr. Kennedy and the relationship cooled off. Both began dating other people.

AKA being complete whores on Grindr

by Anonymousreply 92January 15, 2023 8:39 PM

The wedding party is primarily chicks. That feels like some sort of harbinger for how this entire relationship is gonna roll out.

by Anonymousreply 93January 15, 2023 8:40 PM

Obviously Tinkerbell wants to emulate the girlies. I’m sure she turned the first breakup into some Ross & Rachel epic ordeal, probably pretending to be jittery and crying. “Alicia, I need a cocktail ASAP! Anything with vodka! I can believe he did this to me.”

by Anonymousreply 94January 15, 2023 8:43 PM

They're obviously getting a lot of financial help from their respective parents.

by Anonymousreply 95January 15, 2023 8:45 PM

2 fuggos in I’ll-fitting suits. The fact they found each other proves there’s a pot for every lid!

by Anonymousreply 96January 15, 2023 8:45 PM

[quote]he was also over the top pretentious and snobby (very judgmental about *which* sorority a girl was in and shit like that)

"Eww, get away from me, AOPig!"

by Anonymousreply 97January 15, 2023 8:47 PM

I love these "let's be cunts" threads!

by Anonymousreply 98January 15, 2023 8:55 PM

[quote]‘From Hotty Toddy to the Big Easy, this love is one for the ages.’

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

by Anonymousreply 99January 15, 2023 8:59 PM

GURL NO!

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by Anonymousreply 100January 15, 2023 9:08 PM

Gurl sure loves her ugly shoes and purses.

by Anonymousreply 101January 15, 2023 9:12 PM

Yikes! Raised chin is not the angle for Miss Thing

by Anonymousreply 102January 15, 2023 9:12 PM

This thread — and the ABC Afterschool Special thread — is why I keep coming back to DL after all these years.

by Anonymousreply 103January 15, 2023 10:04 PM

Has Matt Damon commented?

by Anonymousreply 104January 15, 2023 10:18 PM

As a wedding gift, I got them what they needed and wanted most: a double headed dildo.

Oddly enough, my gift has not been acknowledged.

by Anonymousreply 105January 15, 2023 10:23 PM

I bought them each a vicious slap to the face. Of course with Gucci gloves.

by Anonymousreply 106January 15, 2023 10:38 PM

I feel as though I'm missing something. Is Big Willie some sort of desired masc. top or something like that? Even for Tinkerbelle, BW doesn't seem like some kind of massive 'get' you'd run all over campus bragging about.

by Anonymousreply 107January 15, 2023 10:40 PM

They are way in over their heads. And trying to be a class level or three above where they came from. The house in NO is rented, not bought (see the Zillow listing, was for rent at $2600 a month, off the market as of last July). Quite a bit of the registry items -- most of the cookware and appliances, for example -- are primo in price and quality (Le Creuset, etc.). But they have never lived in a small house with a LARGE amount of kitchen stuff. They will have to leave 2/3 of it boxed up, if they even get much of it. Their friends don't strike me as folks who will spring for a $450 mixer, especially if they are trying to go to the party in France as well. And who needs an iced tea maker, anyway?

No socks and Gucci loafers are an Ole Miss frat boy, Delta elite thing. (And Laurel is NOT Delta.) They should move to Laurel and let those Hometown folks rehab them a house. And rebuild it after it's torched.

by Anonymousreply 108January 15, 2023 11:02 PM

[quote]Even for Tinkerbelle, BW doesn't seem like some kind of massive 'get' you'd run all over campus bragging about.

But he's a KAPPA SIG!

by Anonymousreply 109January 15, 2023 11:05 PM

Life imitating Art! .

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by Anonymousreply 110January 15, 2023 11:14 PM

I'm really fucking gay, but after reading that NYT story and their wedding website, I felt myself turning into homophobe. I just want to pull them aside and say, "calm down queens."

by Anonymousreply 111January 15, 2023 11:17 PM

[quote]This thread — and the ABC Afterschool Special thread — is why I keep coming back to DL after all these years.

Same here. DLers are at their funniest when they're being absolute cunts.

by Anonymousreply 112January 15, 2023 11:19 PM

That part of the Loire valley is decidedly economy class, for those who aspire to Burgundy, Bordeaux, Provence, Brittany. We stop there when driving to Spain as it's just enought past the Paris traffic but not as depressing as Clermont-Ferrand. But boring it is. And cruel hosts insisting on that horrible green colour for the guests.

by Anonymousreply 113January 15, 2023 11:31 PM

"Parker"....

by Anonymousreply 114January 15, 2023 11:37 PM

[quote]Being gay doesn’t mean you have to be a peacocking queen.

Are you certain?

by Anonymousreply 115January 15, 2023 11:53 PM

Also, if you have a destination wedding… you don’t ask for gifts from attendees.

by Anonymousreply 116January 16, 2023 12:29 AM

The groom watches Disney movies? How embarrassing! But thank heavens for these grasping queens sharing their romance & over the top wedding so we can all have a good laugh.

by Anonymousreply 117January 16, 2023 12:40 AM

R73. Speaking of Blanche, do we think the one from Laurel studied with Miss duBois?

by Anonymousreply 118January 16, 2023 1:05 AM

Oh, yeah, the wedding party was bursting with "sassy" faghags:

[quote]You can find Chelsea ordering a hendricks martini and living life lavishly, always.

[quote]From date parties to international travel to honeymoon beach trips, Ellie brings elaborate silliness and sass to every situation she encounters.

[quote]Carly enjoys traveling the world, staring at herself in the mirror and locating the best place for a marg.

by Anonymousreply 119January 16, 2023 1:07 AM

I’m poor and I have Mauviel French copper cookware in my kitchen, not that crap on the registry.

by Anonymousreply 120January 16, 2023 1:08 AM

R100 She is giving country come to town in that "look at me in all black, I'm a New Yorker!".

by Anonymousreply 121January 16, 2023 1:11 AM

R73, I was exhausted just reading their website, so I'm going to have to go with yes. 😁

by Anonymousreply 122January 16, 2023 1:16 AM

Were Blake and Rufus invited to the wedding? I’m sure they’re friends.

by Anonymousreply 123January 16, 2023 1:26 AM

That photo at R100 proves that it’s not just Disney films that gurl watches. She’s also a big fan of Emily in Paris.

by Anonymousreply 124January 16, 2023 1:28 AM

They seem unbearable in real life, but they sure are fun to mock. Imagine being married to that quuen.

by Anonymousreply 125January 16, 2023 2:11 AM

Were Sir Elton & David in attendance? Rumor was NPH & Ellen couldn’t make it.

by Anonymousreply 126January 16, 2023 3:02 AM

R40 her colors… are pink and pink.

by Anonymousreply 127January 16, 2023 3:04 AM

[quote] Major: International studies and French.

Only Queer Studies could be a gayer major.

by Anonymousreply 128January 16, 2023 3:09 AM

Are they the new Shark & Bee?

by Anonymousreply 129January 16, 2023 3:39 AM

Instead of Shark & Bee we have Pork & Beans.

by Anonymousreply 130January 16, 2023 11:21 AM

1000 dollar knife set. Ok, girls.

by Anonymousreply 131January 16, 2023 11:23 AM

I can’t blame them for investing in good cutlery. Clearly one of them lives to eat (and calling him “fit fat” is overly-generous).

by Anonymousreply 132January 16, 2023 11:27 AM

Did they hold a seance and call Barbara Cartland back from the afterlife to write their "love story"? It's full of mixed tenses, purple prose, and bad grammar.

[Quote]Parker had moved on to a fast-paced life in the catering world

Translation: he was a cater-waiter.

by Anonymousreply 133January 16, 2023 3:13 PM

Hilarious

by Anonymousreply 134January 16, 2023 3:23 PM

Parker was such a big deal in the catering world, he rubbed elbows with failed actors AND struggling actors.

by Anonymousreply 135January 16, 2023 4:34 PM

The new Sonny & Cher, Mike & Robin, Tina & Ike, Tom & Nicole, Burt & Loni

A love story for the ages.

by Anonymousreply 136January 16, 2023 4:40 PM

Is Parker the skinny one? I thought he was some sort of interior designer?

by Anonymousreply 137January 16, 2023 4:44 PM

Imagine these two at Southern Decadence.

by Anonymousreply 138January 16, 2023 4:51 PM

R138 I see… slings

by Anonymousreply 139January 16, 2023 4:52 PM

Rub away the spray-on Vanderbilt Glitter & RuPaul Affect and you’re left with two typical middle class Americans; shallow, materialistic, intellectually incurious yet with an overly inflated self-image of how cultured and interesting they are.

Their only real passion seems to be drinking.

by Anonymousreply 140January 16, 2023 4:54 PM

Bottoms up! 🍾🍺🍷🍸🍹🥂🥃

by Anonymousreply 141January 16, 2023 4:56 PM

They’re essentially a Sinclair Lewis novel with several added cups of sugar.

by Anonymousreply 142January 16, 2023 4:58 PM

Do gifts DROP OFF the wedding registry when the quantity desired has been fulfilled. Because most of those gifts have 0 bought, and a few only 1 item. It's kind of sad. Unless they got a lot of loot and it has disappeared.

Have the misjudged the generosity and means of their circle?

I know nothing about the etiquette here. It's off-putting to me to see such a long and ambitious list with no takers. I wouldn't want to be their friends nor them with such an unresolved gift-giving relationship.

by Anonymousreply 143January 16, 2023 5:25 PM

R143 Their registry is interminable. It's somehow worse than this.

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by Anonymousreply 144January 16, 2023 5:33 PM

You have to scroll down all the way r143, to see what was bought for them.

by Anonymousreply 145January 16, 2023 5:35 PM

They apparently enjoy leather sex, with visits to the annual IML in Chicago

by Anonymousreply 146January 16, 2023 5:54 PM

Thanks R145. Where are they going to use the 12 place setting white and gold dinnerware?

where do they put all that stuff. That house has no basement or attic.

by Anonymousreply 147January 16, 2023 6:00 PM

Decades on DL have taught me a wedding announcement in the Times is like a precious diamond covered in feces or a fine wine in a glass adorned with razor blades.

by Anonymousreply 148January 16, 2023 6:09 PM

“Magic 8 Ball - will this marriage end in acrimonious divorce in 12 months or less?”

All Signs Point To Yes

by Anonymousreply 149January 16, 2023 7:19 PM

Magic 8 Ball, will this marriage end with hair pulling and eyes being scratched out?

by Anonymousreply 150January 16, 2023 7:42 PM

On the one hand, I admire their cuntery for dictating guests' color choices for dress:

[Quote]Our color palette for guest attire is Deep Emerald and French Champagne.

Can you imagine the groomzilla (and we know which one) screeching on the wedding day:

"THAT BITCH BRANDON IS WEARING ECRU AND KELLY GREEN! HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING!! THAT CUNT HAS DELIBERATELY RUINED MY WEDDING!!!"

followed by the throwing of a glass of champagne before throwing himself to the fainting couch in sobs.

by Anonymousreply 151January 16, 2023 7:54 PM

The pic at R36

How could he ever question that he was anything but gay after posing like that!

by Anonymousreply 152January 16, 2023 7:57 PM

How did William gain so much weight from his pic at R10

Did he overeat to stuff his feelings about being gay? Then accepted himself, but now can't get the weight off?

At least it is true love for Parker, as he accepts him no matter how heavy he is

by Anonymousreply 153January 16, 2023 8:01 PM

Well, I'll ALWAYS be the pretty one!

by Anonymousreply 154January 16, 2023 8:08 PM

What a super cute and totally fun couple!!! Congratulations boys!!!

by Anonymousreply 155January 16, 2023 8:16 PM

Yeah, the weight gain is a bit startling. He was kinda cute when he was in college and even up through a few years ago. From his IG it appears that he gained a lot of the weight in the last year or so. Many people try and shed the extra pounds as the wedding approaches. But here, . . . .

Also, Parker has one pic of the husband on his IG, while Will has many pics with Tinkerbell on his IG.

by Anonymousreply 156January 16, 2023 8:53 PM

"Deep Emerald and French Champagne"

Didn't I just tweet about Deep Emerald's tragic, early death? Great gal, love it when they're sassy!

by Anonymousreply 157January 16, 2023 9:34 PM

Tinkerbell: My colors are Deep Emerald and French Champagne!

His mom: His colors are green and gold.

by Anonymousreply 158January 16, 2023 9:38 PM

I can only imagine what a chore if must be to have these two vapid, walking stereotypes in your circle of friends.

by Anonymousreply 159January 16, 2023 9:57 PM

You're not grand or sassy enough to be in our circle. Sorry, not sorry!

by Anonymousreply 160January 16, 2023 10:00 PM

R159 sounds like a typical Tri Delt. Thetas always have more class.

by Anonymousreply 161January 16, 2023 10:11 PM

They scream new money, Southern money at that, which is to say it smells like pretentuous bullshit instead of wealth. It's possible to become big in Oxford, or Laurel for that matter, alas it is no small feat for new money. Their parents send their kids to Ole Miss because there's too many Black folks at LSU & Vanderbilt, Auburn is their literal rival for slave money, and there's Catholics at Tulane. Ole Miss is akin to a Southern Ivy, as inbred as it is. I thank the goddess that my parents used their wealth to send me OUT of this shithole, if only for a moment.

by Anonymousreply 162January 16, 2023 10:23 PM

Ole Miss has a higher percentage of black students than Vanderbilt, and it's nowhere near an Ivy anything.

by Anonymousreply 163January 16, 2023 10:40 PM

William is Assistant Director of Admissions at Tulane University School of Architecture while going to Law School

by Anonymousreply 164January 16, 2023 10:47 PM

No shit Sherlock, R163. We here know it's a shit university, but fraus down here in the South consider it to be Ivy-like. I admit I don't know the exact numbers but I will guarantee you Ole Miss is overwhelmingly white, in a state filled with all kinds of folks.

by Anonymousreply 165January 16, 2023 10:48 PM

Ole Miss has double the endowment of Auburn. But both schools are practically broke at only a billion or two, compares to the big leagues.

by Anonymousreply 166January 16, 2023 10:51 PM

And they have that endowment, R166, because of a slave trade, or conning people during Jim Crow. Mississippi sends its "best" to Ole Miss. This is getting off topic, other than for me to reiterate that only squares go to Ole Miss. Like for real, the dude couldn't even be out in college? What a shame.

by Anonymousreply 167January 16, 2023 10:57 PM

[quote]and there's Catholics at Tulane.

Not just Catholics. They don't call it Jewlane for nothing, you know.

by Anonymousreply 168January 16, 2023 11:32 PM

I like their house. Small, but nice basic bungalow. The floors are too knotty for my taste, but I like it overall.

by Anonymousreply 169January 16, 2023 11:38 PM

[quote] GURL NO!

Does the Oracle know that Neo has her purse?

by Anonymousreply 170January 16, 2023 11:40 PM

[quote]They scream new money

Yet their house is ominously silent.

by Anonymousreply 171January 16, 2023 11:44 PM

Their wedding website is vomitrocious.

They have preferred guest colors that they’d like you to wear.

The registry has an $800 Roomba AND a $500 Dyson. An Instant Pot AND a slow cooker.

They assume all their guests (or anyone at all) will give enough of a shit to fly to France, wear hunter green, AND buy them a pile of crap from Williams-Sonoma.

I thought fat cunts from the South shopped at Walmart and got married in Pensacola.

by Anonymousreply 172January 16, 2023 11:47 PM

I love that they're shorthand is now Fitfat and Bossy. Styled "Fitfat & Bossy" it could be a web or Netflix series about their lives - two Southern queens, one more in doubt of his sexuality for a longer period, who find each other and get married. Nothing earth shattering but since a series is made of everything. I'd check it out.

by Anonymousreply 173January 16, 2023 11:48 PM

More fatfit than fitfat, d'accord?

by Anonymousreply 174January 16, 2023 11:52 PM

"and there's Catholics at Tulane."

Natasha was in my dorm, freshman year at Tulane, and she gained like 10 pounds.

by Anonymousreply 175January 17, 2023 12:03 AM

I don't fully get the omnipresent "new money" insult. You can't be from old money if you're not from old money - you can't aspire to it. So, what's the alternative - new money or no money at all. Yeah, "new money" is often shorthand for "tacky" but old money can be tacky too despite DL's insistence that it's all great taste and good manners.

by Anonymousreply 176January 17, 2023 12:08 AM

Fitfat wasn't questioning his sexuality in college. He was just another scared closet case with fundie parents.

by Anonymousreply 177January 17, 2023 12:14 AM

so we all know the address is

3830 Annunciation St, New Orleans, LA 70115

Can we agree on a time and date ...... meet up in person outside their front door for a special DataLounge Welcome Wagon?

by Anonymousreply 178January 17, 2023 12:16 AM

I'll bring Andre Champange and horse duvers, sure to be a hit because they like fancy shit.

by Anonymousreply 179January 17, 2023 12:19 AM

R78:

[quote] Marines are supposed to be masculine. These two shatter that image.

Neither one of these queens is or has been a Marine. You have — as I originally did — misread “Marries” in the thread title as “Marines.” I know there are a lot of gays in the Marines, but I kinda doubt that Parker could have made it through a day of basic training. The ex-swimmer probably would have had a better chance.

by Anonymousreply 180January 17, 2023 12:22 AM

I’ll bring my dueling gloves,

by Anonymousreply 181January 17, 2023 12:22 AM

Forget Andre champagne. Malt liquor for these two.

by Anonymousreply 182January 17, 2023 12:23 AM

We can fit a Disney Princess bounce house in the back "garden" behind their doublewide ..er.. I mean behind their house.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 183January 17, 2023 12:28 AM

[Quote]They assume all their guests (or anyone at all) will give enough of a shit to fly to France, wear hunter green, AND buy them a pile of crap from Williams-Sonoma.

*Emerald green* R172. Are you trying to ruin their wedding? Well, are you?😆

by Anonymousreply 184January 17, 2023 12:33 AM

I'm very curious to see what the supposed interior designer does with the inside of that house

by Anonymousreply 185January 17, 2023 12:33 AM

Something FABULOUS r185.

by Anonymousreply 186January 17, 2023 12:44 AM

Dorothy Draper glamour but it will veer into corporate ersatz Art Deco Diner.

by Anonymousreply 187January 17, 2023 12:44 AM

[quote]Styled "Fitfat & Bossy" it could be a web or Netflix series

Or a lifestyle brand!

by Anonymousreply 188January 17, 2023 12:49 AM

This will end in tears.

by Anonymousreply 189January 17, 2023 12:56 AM

Tragic tragic end to this fairy tale wedding.

The reception became a super spreader for a combination of Monkey Pox and Hysterical Pregnancy.

by Anonymousreply 190January 17, 2023 12:56 AM

One of them is gonna Google and end up here on this thread, I just know it.

by Anonymousreply 191January 17, 2023 1:01 AM

R191, they've been here since the start, masturbating furiously.

by Anonymousreply 192January 17, 2023 1:03 AM

Jennifer Coolidge lives on Annuciation Street too.

by Anonymousreply 193January 17, 2023 1:17 AM

But she won't be dropping by for "smart cocktails" anytime soon, no matter how much Tinkerbell wheedles and pleads, R193.

by Anonymousreply 194January 17, 2023 1:41 AM

What kind of sex do we think these little fruit pies are having?

by Anonymousreply 195January 17, 2023 1:43 AM

R195, it involves Krispy Kreme doughnuts and a lot of tears.

by Anonymousreply 196January 17, 2023 1:49 AM

[quote]Jennifer Coolidge lives on Annuciation Street too.

"These gays' twee lifestyles are trying to kill me!"

by Anonymousreply 197January 17, 2023 1:59 AM

R195 the kind that happens with strangers.

by Anonymousreply 198January 17, 2023 3:11 AM

It's a pretty safe bet that Tinkerbelle is very familiar with both Paradise and Mardi Gras truckstops, just outside of town, R195

by Anonymousreply 199January 17, 2023 3:20 AM

[Quote] They scream new money

They scream “pretending to have money!”

by Anonymousreply 200January 17, 2023 3:26 AM

Instead of having sex, they just bump pussies and giggle.

by Anonymousreply 201January 17, 2023 3:42 AM

[quote] You are bitter resentful people. They look very nice and happy to me.

Remember, R50, what Andy Cohen once tweeted about DataLounge:

[quote] there is no crueler place than that vile pit of trollery

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 202January 17, 2023 4:07 AM

Which one is the fisting bottom?

by Anonymousreply 203January 17, 2023 4:26 AM

R203 - Both. 😉🤣 Didn’t the elbow-length latex gloves make it to the registry?

by Anonymousreply 204January 17, 2023 5:55 AM

Even with the weight gain I find Fitfat much more attractive than Bossy.

by Anonymousreply 205January 17, 2023 6:27 AM

How big is Big Willie’s willie?

by Anonymousreply 206January 17, 2023 6:52 AM

I'm guessing and 7.25 and fat.

by Anonymousreply 207January 17, 2023 6:56 AM

So where is the honeymoon? I’m guessing the Maldives. Over the water bungalow. Bought on sale through Luxury Escapes website.

by Anonymousreply 208January 17, 2023 10:03 AM

The shoes without socks look is totally played out. The only guys still pulling this are dated queens or straight chavs from Flyoverstan.

by Anonymousreply 209January 17, 2023 10:16 AM

Or pygmies.

by Anonymousreply 210January 17, 2023 10:44 AM

The Loire Valley is a spectacular part of France, and you can’t deny their good taste here. It is dotted with dozens and dozens of fairytale chateaux, including some of the most famous in the world (Chambord for instance), and this is where you have arguably the most refined cuisine in France. And clearly, one of them likes to eat!

End of December however? They must have been very cold.

by Anonymousreply 211January 17, 2023 11:31 AM

It is not only shoes without socks, they are using fluffy slip ons. In December, in the country. I am guessing its their version of mules.

Also, ‘French Champagne’? As opposed to which other kind?

Anyway, i still wish these two all the best and that one day they may find the men of their dreams.

by Anonymousreply 212January 17, 2023 11:43 AM

The little dinky one should have added nose job to the registry.

by Anonymousreply 213January 17, 2023 12:09 PM

Their registry REEKS of trashy non-money. It adds up to what? $30,000?

Poor people don't bother to rack up such a ludicrous wedding registry, and rich people can afford to buy their own $200 martini shaker. But it's the craven little climbers who have neither the funds to buy their own nice shit nor the class and good taste not to ask for it.

by Anonymousreply 214January 17, 2023 2:47 PM

I'm guessing December was more affordable.

by Anonymousreply 215January 17, 2023 3:22 PM

R215 Winner-winner, Lagniappe dinner!

by Anonymousreply 216January 17, 2023 4:06 PM

This was probably discussed upthread and I missed it. Can just anybody get a NYT Wedding Announcement/write up? I thought they were quite selective about those things. Has that changed?

by Anonymousreply 217January 17, 2023 4:29 PM

All this talk about new money. From what?

Neither one of them would have made much money yet. One was an events planner that is trying to launch a business and the other one is still in school. They are still very early career trying to establish themselves.

But no doubt they are hoping the publicity will get clients for the interior design operation.

by Anonymousreply 218January 17, 2023 4:31 PM

When you're that old, you already have a ton of stuff. The registry seems like a grift

by Anonymousreply 219January 17, 2023 9:49 PM

"Also, ‘French Champagne’? As opposed to which other kind?

"Champagne" is often a colloquialism for a broad range of sparkling wine.

by Anonymousreply 220January 17, 2023 10:21 PM

Not if you’re in France, honey R220. Don’t make us sue you again.

by Anonymousreply 221January 17, 2023 10:52 PM

Praying for this thread to come back to life. I laughed so hard I cried.

by Anonymousreply 222January 24, 2023 2:58 AM

They're from Mississippi? Then I can't be bothered to care. And you know where I'm from.

by Anonymousreply 223January 24, 2023 3:10 AM
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