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Sandra Lee’s NOEL CAKE

Isn’t it scrumptious looking?

Imagine the combination of spice cake and chocolate cake TOGETHER WITH ALL THAT STORE BOUGHT ICING!

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by Anonymousreply 93January 28, 2023 8:09 PM

OMG, are we teasing the Kwanzaa cake for the Holidays?!?! Another DL classic!

by Anonymousreply 1December 22, 2022 7:12 PM

Not until the 26th, r1…we must adhere to our traditions…

by Anonymousreply 2December 22, 2022 7:16 PM

The licorice strings are a BAD IDEA as a cake knife is not going to cut them. Rather drag them over the cake screwing up further an already ugly finish.

This BITCH seems to have an IQ below 90 and ZERO creativity.

by Anonymousreply 3December 22, 2022 7:18 PM

Two words: OH DEAR

by Anonymousreply 4December 22, 2022 7:21 PM

Does this russipee make use of melk and vanella?

by Anonymousreply 5December 22, 2022 7:22 PM

But no strawburrries, r5.

by Anonymousreply 6December 22, 2022 7:28 PM

R5 You betcha. Brandy on the side for sipping, option’l!

by Anonymousreply 7December 22, 2022 7:28 PM

But you’re not having dessert until you eat my Slllow Cooker meatloaf

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by Anonymousreply 8December 22, 2022 7:34 PM

r5 And you can get them at the regular groshry store!

by Anonymousreply 9December 22, 2022 7:36 PM

Is this another one of those recipes where she uses store-bought, pre-made, plain cake layers? I've never seen such a product anywhere.

by Anonymousreply 10December 22, 2022 7:38 PM

Holiday balls? She adds holiday balls. I want $100 of whatever drug she's on.

by Anonymousreply 11December 22, 2022 7:38 PM

I don't think they make those spray-cans of frosting anymore. Maybe we could substitute spray "cheez."

by Anonymousreply 12December 22, 2022 7:41 PM

Do those store-bought cake layers contain aigs?

by Anonymousreply 13December 22, 2022 7:47 PM

What year was this? Today's cake decorators would rip her to shreds....very elementary.

by Anonymousreply 14December 22, 2022 7:50 PM

EVerything she ever made was basic as shit in a toilet. There has been no increase in cultural refinement. People were sufficiently refined to rip her to shreds when she was producing these videos. I think its psy-ops of some kind.

by Anonymousreply 15December 22, 2022 7:54 PM

I have also never seen nor heard of store-bought undecorated cake layers. Those just look like cakes that some food network interns made off-camera from boxes of Duncan Hines.

I love how she just casually references a product that doesn't exist anywhere. "Just some store bought cake layers." Um, sure, Sandra.

by Anonymousreply 16December 22, 2022 7:54 PM

Frosting hides all sins, that's why she needs so much of it.

by Anonymousreply 17December 22, 2022 7:55 PM

We plain cake layers in supermarkets in Europe. Vanilla and chocolate. There is one brand that is made with premium butter and eggs and is very good.

by Anonymousreply 18December 22, 2022 8:00 PM

This cake is just an enormous monstrosity. It doesn't look appetizing, the combination of chocolate and spice cake makes no sense, and nothing about it says "Christmas." Why is it mint green? And yet there's no mint flavor. Why is it festooned with licorice and birthday cake candles? Why not make a decent layer cake (2 layers is fine for most normal Christmas gatherings) with white frosting and some Christmas sprinkles? Why is it all so complicated, with food coloring, a wedding cake design, cake rounds under every layer, piped frosting (that looks terrible), candles, and a white chocolate-dyed-green-covered ice cream cone that's just going to go in the trash?

Also, was this supposed to look like a christmas tree? Christmas trees don't look like mint-green Ziggurats last I checked.

What was the point of any of this? All of her segments feel like time fillers to pad the show out for each commercial break.

by Anonymousreply 19December 22, 2022 8:02 PM

R19 that's my observation above. She is dump as a can of icing. And has zero creativity. She might as well sit on the floor and play with pots and pans. Or make mud pies. Kids make more creative and appetizing food than hers. She's retarded.

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by Anonymousreply 20December 22, 2022 8:14 PM

dump = dumb. look who's talking

by Anonymousreply 21December 22, 2022 8:15 PM

I thought it was a wedding cake idea for The Poors?

by Anonymousreply 22December 22, 2022 8:22 PM

R11 Everyone knows she's ON 2 shots of vodka...

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by Anonymousreply 23December 22, 2022 8:25 PM

Oh, Aunt Sandy, never change.

by Anonymousreply 24December 22, 2022 8:28 PM

Jesus.

by Anonymousreply 25December 22, 2022 9:08 PM

And she was SO CLOSE to being New York's First Lady. Can you imagine the tablescapes at the Governor's mansion?

by Anonymousreply 26December 22, 2022 10:15 PM

She didn't do a very good job of matching the color on the sugar cone to the frosting on the cake.

by Anonymousreply 27December 22, 2022 10:15 PM

And notice how the cake leans once she's done with it. That she had a show at all boggles the imagination. But then, it doesn't because Food Network dumbed down a lot over the years. I mean, they had Sara Moulton doing a show - light years away from Sandra. Or Guy Fieri.

She fucked the right people. I think Gordon Elliott and a couple of FN executives. And they interviewed one of her assistants who said she was not all sweetness and light.

But Andrew Cuomo did her dirty. Then she had the breast cancer surgery and the hysterectomy.

Now I think she's with some much younger European or Middle Eastern guy.

by Anonymousreply 28December 22, 2022 11:52 PM

[quote]I have also never seen nor heard of store-bought undecorated cake layers.

I Googled, and no, you can't get them at the supermarket. You can, however, buy then in bulk at places like Sam's Club and through food-service distributors.

by Anonymousreply 29December 23, 2022 12:40 AM

I LOVE IT!

by Anonymousreply 30December 23, 2022 12:45 AM

With cooking like that, I told my son to cancel that bitch before I put a hit out on her.

by Anonymousreply 31December 23, 2022 12:48 AM

Good God that’s awful. I don’t like frosting. I like cakes lightly covered with icing.

by Anonymousreply 32December 23, 2022 12:52 AM

No wonder Anthony Bourdain trashed her. Yikes!

by Anonymousreply 33December 23, 2022 1:00 AM

Instead of a candle on each tier, she should place pre-filled insulin syringes.

by Anonymousreply 34December 23, 2022 1:02 AM

Cocktail time!

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by Anonymousreply 35December 23, 2022 1:27 AM

[quote]With cooking like that, I told my son to cancel that bitch before I put a hit out on her.

Yes, her takes on Italian cooking were outrageous.

When she made baklava using PAM instead of butter, I'm sure my Greek grandmother was spinning in her grave.

by Anonymousreply 36December 23, 2022 2:27 AM

[quote]When she made baklava using PAM instead of butter, I'm sure my Greek grandmother was spinning in her grave.

Or, as she calls it, "cookie spray"

by Anonymousreply 37December 23, 2022 2:44 AM

Even though the moderators were douches, Television Without Pity had hysterical comments on Sandy’s Semi Homemade show.

by Anonymousreply 38December 23, 2022 3:07 AM

I would love to hear Martha’s “views” on Sandra’s recipe, particularly after making her own (perfect) boozy Christmas confection .

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by Anonymousreply 39December 23, 2022 3:15 AM

It’s cute. I love it.

by Anonymousreply 40December 23, 2022 3:21 AM

Happy Kwanzaa, homosexuals!

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by Anonymousreply 41December 26, 2022 7:16 PM

Oh my, the licorice whips combined with red dots look exactly like boobs. Not for Christmas, but a lesbian Saturnalia, perhaps?

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by Anonymousreply 42December 26, 2022 7:42 PM

Another abortion of a dessert…it’s so stupid.

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by Anonymousreply 43December 28, 2022 9:39 PM

r43 I think that was a semi-ho'ed copy of a Martha Stewart creation.

by Anonymousreply 44December 29, 2022 1:33 AM

Martha's version.

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by Anonymousreply 45December 29, 2022 1:44 AM

I got your holiday balls right here. *drunkenly grabs crotch*

by Anonymousreply 46December 29, 2022 2:06 AM

Martha’s version looks disgusting too.

by Anonymousreply 47December 29, 2022 11:21 AM

Remember Sandra Lee's Lasagna made with tomato soup? She was coupled with New York's governor Andrew Cuomo, whose mother said she wouldn't eat it.

by Anonymousreply 48December 29, 2022 12:38 PM

BITD it was possible to buy a 2-pack of unfrosted, yellow cake layers in the pre-packed bakery aisle. They disappeared once supermarkets got their own in-house bakery(which invariably bought frozen layers for their own use) I don't know for certain, but if you spoke to a bakery manager you could probably purchase some.

In some of these videos Aunt Sandy is bordering perilously close to UK "fave" Fanny Cradock. 😵‍💫

by Anonymousreply 49December 29, 2022 2:06 PM

r49 I'm 70 and I never recall seeing unfrosted cake layers in any supermarket.

by Anonymousreply 50December 29, 2022 2:11 PM

Sandy most likely had her production team buy the cakes from one of these places that you guys have mentioned.

by Anonymousreply 51December 29, 2022 3:38 PM

Is she that much of a leech that she stole a recipe from Martha, and a crappy one at that?

by Anonymousreply 52December 29, 2022 3:42 PM

r50 Perhaps the availability of the cake layers was particular to my area(Philly) As I remember, they were a popular item because you could do a variety of things with them.

Back then they didn't have frosting in a can, you bought little boxes of Jiffy™ frosting mix, or there was another brand which I think might've been My-T-Fine(?) You added butter and milk and then you were ready to frost and decorate. 🧁🍰🎂

How did did Miss Lee get away with so many of these over-the-top creations? How many viewers did she influence to emulate her? Or did people just show up for the tablescapes?

by Anonymousreply 53December 29, 2022 6:59 PM

Reality whore/influencer MikeMGTV critiques Aunt Sandy's bartending skillz

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by Anonymousreply 54December 29, 2022 7:02 PM

Those cocktails could probably qualify as a biohazard.

Haricots vertz 🤯

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by Anonymousreply 55December 29, 2022 7:17 PM

Pele has died.

by Anonymousreply 56December 29, 2022 7:20 PM

Fanny is the ultimate DL role model, R49.

by Anonymousreply 57December 29, 2022 7:25 PM

r56 Did one of Sandy cocktails kill him? Maybe a semi-homemade caipirinha made with bottled lime juice, vodka, and rum extract?

by Anonymousreply 58December 29, 2022 7:55 PM

This isn't baking; it's kindergarten arts and crafts class.

by Anonymousreply 59December 29, 2022 7:56 PM

Cradle da Christmas balls.

by Anonymousreply 60December 29, 2022 9:08 PM

I think I would rather see Dr. Sandra Lee pick pimples from someone’s ass than watching the other Sandra cook anything.

by Anonymousreply 61December 31, 2022 7:09 PM

More holiday recipes…get ready for next year 🤗🤗🤗🤗

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by Anonymousreply 62January 1, 2023 12:38 AM

She kills me when she laughs under her breath after dumping half the bottle of vodka in the shaker.

by Anonymousreply 63January 1, 2023 12:40 AM

Has that young stuff run off with her wallet yet?

by Anonymousreply 64January 1, 2023 1:06 AM

Does anyone remember when she had the transgender woman on her show? They made an ice cream cake.

by Anonymousreply 65January 10, 2023 7:27 PM

R65 She’s got a cake for EVERY occasion. They don’t have to be good, it’s the thought that counts.

by Anonymousreply 66January 10, 2023 8:00 PM

I'm surprised at least one of her cakes didn't scream or beg to be killed like the ones in those SNL sketches.

by Anonymousreply 67January 10, 2023 8:58 PM

This is the only Noel Cake from which I need a piece.

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by Anonymousreply 68January 10, 2023 10:08 PM

On the fence about this one; I’ve made something similar, but I used real bacon. And she uses way too much seasoning. Steak seasoning is so salty.

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by Anonymousreply 69January 13, 2023 2:05 PM

OP- It's not ICING

It's FROSTING

by Anonymousreply 70January 13, 2023 2:53 PM

How much did she spend on all of that icing/frosting, I wonder.

by Anonymousreply 71January 13, 2023 5:59 PM
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by Anonymousreply 72January 13, 2023 6:03 PM

Poor Sandra.

by Anonymousreply 73January 13, 2023 11:21 PM

[quote]How much did she spend on all of that icing/frosting, I wonder.

Not 1/10th as much as she spend on her tablescapes.

by Anonymousreply 74January 14, 2023 12:36 AM

"Chicken Masala" with cream of chicken soup and a bag of frozen peas

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by Anonymousreply 75January 23, 2023 11:33 AM

Anthony Bourdain said that she should have been taken to Guantanamo Bay to be waterboarded.

by Anonymousreply 76January 23, 2023 11:48 AM

According to her Wikipedia page, she’s now producing docuseries and such. I miss her abortive cooking.

by Anonymousreply 77January 23, 2023 7:06 PM

"You totally diluted it!"

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by Anonymousreply 78January 23, 2023 7:29 PM

Everything she ever assembled on TV was assembled with a complete lack of regard for flavor - she'd put chocolate and spile layer cakes together or put orange marmalade on chicken sandwiches. I was and still am convinced that she never actually ate food, she got ALL her calories from "cocktail time"!

I miss her show so much! The Food Network never had any other show that was as much fun to watch.

by Anonymousreply 79January 23, 2023 9:44 PM

I know you don't want to hear this, but orange marmalade on chicken sandwiches isn't that bad.

by Anonymousreply 80January 23, 2023 11:44 PM

“We’re gonna soak this cake in brandy… Two or three shots is good…. For my old fashioned 🥃 “

by Anonymousreply 81January 24, 2023 12:59 AM

I prefer Sondra Locke’s Flag Day Cak.

by Anonymousreply 82January 24, 2023 1:21 AM

Maybe she should keep trying producing. Don't let her near another stove. Or cheap dollar store crafts. Or booze.

by Anonymousreply 83January 24, 2023 1:43 AM

My favorite is that crockpot meatloaf mentioned upthread. Do you know she put in a can of condensed cream of mushroom AND cheddar cheese soup as well? It looks like a baby elephant 💩!

She was good for a laugh.

by Anonymousreply 84January 26, 2023 12:42 AM

I did not know that bacon-wrapped dates and BBQ potato chips are the same thing!

And ... a special treat for gin lovers!

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by Anonymousreply 85January 28, 2023 4:59 PM

The most disgusting thing I remember her making was potato salad with CANNED potatoes.

Although the baklava where she substituted PAM for butter gets an honorable mention.

by Anonymousreply 86January 28, 2023 5:38 PM

Eggy Potato Salad 🤮

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by Anonymousreply 87January 28, 2023 5:47 PM

Canned potatoes are disgusting.

by Anonymousreply 88January 28, 2023 6:56 PM

R85 she says that she’s dolling up the plate of dates with a slice of pineapple, but the she covers it up with the dates! 🤣

Bitch is useless. Rich, but useless. I hope that young Middle Eastern man is draining her bank accounts as she’s draining his cock.

by Anonymousreply 89January 28, 2023 7:21 PM

[quote]R66 She’s got a cake for EVERY occasion. They don’t have to be good, it’s the thought that counts.

A pathetic thing is, she doesn’t even come up with the vile cake concepts. The original, time-pressed creator (who also ghostwriters cookbooks) did an article on Huffington Post that’s since been scrubbed. But it’s still discussed elsewhere.

————————

[italic] One woman makes a shocking confession: "I wrote and sold the recipe for the Kwanzaa cake to Sandra Lee and, while I'm confessing my soul, yes, for Christ's sake, the Chanukah cake, too."

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by Anonymousreply 90January 28, 2023 7:27 PM

^^ ghostwriters cookbooks = GHOSTWRITES cookbooks

(!!)

by Anonymousreply 91January 28, 2023 7:31 PM

Bitch, I can go to the supermarket and buy cake mix and cans of frosting. I don't need to watch some overpaid TV deb cook for that.

by Anonymousreply 92January 28, 2023 7:38 PM

She is Queen of the Trailer Park!

by Anonymousreply 93January 28, 2023 8:09 PM
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