The Real Housewives of New Jersey season 13 premieres

forgot to add the show premieres Feb 7, a Tuesday

this season is going to be a mess

Who's the new lady?

I guess Tiki Barber's wife didn't work out. Lol.

The fillers, homogeneous decor trends, and bad lighting have ruined these shows. You can hardly tell one character or their house apart. Look back at earlier seasons of OC and NYC, everyone had an individual personality, no more. I used to be a huge fan but I can’t make it through a season of any of them anymore.

I can never tell whether or not Teresa and Melissa are really not getting along, or if they just do it for the cameras (to keep their jobs).

Their fights seem fake.

Although the rumors about Melissa cheating on Joe, I can totally believe.

The guy she's supposedly cheating with (Nick Barrotta) is super hot.

Maybe it was a threesome?

R5 it’s fake as fuck, they know what it takes to stay on the payroll.

I saw all 3 of them at a non-housewife event around the time of filming, they were fine and laughing together, stayed together all night like a pack of wolves. This is a modern-day soap opera, they’re actors basically.

Good God, Teresa's hair on her wedding day. I laughed out loud.

Can Joe and Frank just get it over with and fuck already?

I wish the gay looking husband of the Turkish whore would leave her high and dry.

I wonder how long it's gonna be before Teresa gets swept up in Louis' dirty business dealings and ends up in prison again.

I thought Teresa hated Margaret. Why did she get invited to the wedding and Melissa didn't?

R11 a couple months ago, Margaret and her husband Joe were giving an interview on a podcast, it may have been Jeff Lewis but I forget. When asked about Louis' job, Joe said something like "list management" and then the host asked "isn't that what Jen Shah did?" there was an awkward silence lol

the new women are just as tacky as the rest. They'll fit in just fine

Jennifer's new nose still looks fucked up from certain angles and the new brunette with long hair has a bad nose job too

Evan and Joe Gorga looked the best in the hilarious calendar shoot. The new blonde's husband would be #3 . LMFAO @ desperate Louie trying to be sexy

Dolores's new boyfriend is not very attractive. He has the face of Porky Pig.

I like Frank and his huge "guns" . He's a reasonable nice guy. Who knew he is 58?

R15 Frank looks like he's about 65, actually.

So it looks like this season will be a retread of the earlier seasons when Joe and Melissa got into physical fights with Teresa and her fambily. I wonder if Teresa's dorters will get into it. That lesbian Malania looks like she could fuck some people up big time.

Does Melissa have a new face?? I haven't watched in years and I don't even recognize her.

R18 Doesn't Melissa get a new nose every other year? I think she's on her third now.

Frank in a wife beater in a fancy restaurant with Dolores. It doesn't get any more Jersey than that.

Dolores' new boyfriend looks like a Cabbage Patch Doll.

And by the way, could Dolores' ass be any fatter? Did she do that on purpose?

Melissa has gone too far with the face work. Unrecognizable.

Not Jennifer said Dolores looked like an "old lady handbag"

R22 I think you may be confusing Melissa with one of the new woman. I watched the trailer and thought that woman was Melissa at first, too. They do look a little bit alike at a glance.

I always wonder whether these people actually realize how trashy they are or if they think that they are "high class" society people.

They all talk in cliches as old and tired as "work hard, play hard" - you know they think it makes them sound articulate and erudite.

I get that they make a buttload of money, but why would you want to air your dirty laundry.

R23 with her botched nose job, Jennifer should not comment on anyone else's appearance. Dolores is naturally pretty especially for someone in her 50s

R26 What Dolores has going on isn't natural.

R24 Just watched the episode and that's exactly what I was doing. Good catch.

Jesus, Teresa and Louie look like pieces of rotisserie chicken from Boston Market. Their skin is baked golden brown. I half expect them to baste each other. They're both hideous, inside and out.

[quote][R26] What Dolores has going on isn't natural.

I love whoever it was in another thread who described her breast implants as "oily meatbags."

The Theresa wedding pix look like she's on My Big Fat Gyspy Wedding, rather than Real Housewives.

Are you sure that clip is from the right franchise?

Personally, I’d rather have tits that look like “oily meat bags” than lips that look like a “baboon’s asshole”.

What in the fuckety fuck was Teresa wearing during her one-on-one interviews? She looked like an aged out streetwalker.

That photoshoot with the husbands was nausea-inducing. The only one who looked good was Evan. The rest, including Joe Gorga, who thinks he's Adonis, looked about as sexy as grapefruit that's been sitting on the counter for three weeks.

That new blonde woman who was going on and on about how sexy her husband is. Is she blind? And the other one with the mangled Michael Jackson nose, whose husband was once a "model?" Oh, my God! He was fugly as hell.

And what is up with Dolores' boyfriends eyebrows? He's one freaky looking dude.

Voters choose which cast member should go away.

R34 I loathe Teresa. Every time I see her, I still get angry knowing this convicted felon bimbo with an IQ lower than a Ballpark Frank has millions of dollars in the bank.

What in the fucking fuck?

from last night, enjoy DL

quite possibly the stupidest woman on Earth trying to define various sex terms

Stupid? She's a fresh of breathe air!

R37 is that you Gia?

Teresa will make sure her brotha and Melissa will not return next season. New friend Jenn is hilarious. The other new women are straight out of Goodfellas. Jennifer's kids are hilarious. Dolores found another meathead. Glad Jackie and Evan are still around The first two episodes were very entertaining.

[quote] Glad Jackie and Evan are still around

Jackie was demoted to "friend."

R40. Yeah but she's still included in some gatherings. They'll probably phase her out as the season progresses.

Cohen got the definition of cuckold wrong at R36. He said it's someone who takes pleasure in watching their partner having sex with someone else. Wrong.

Definition of cuckold: noun - a man whose wife is sexually unfaithful, regarded as an object of derision.

Andy used the porno definition of [italic]cuckold.[/italic] LOL

R36 God, she make Lauren Boebert look like a Rhodes Scholar.

And what was up with her outfit? I was waiting for her to sprout webs from her palms and scale the studio's walls.

[quote]The other new women are straight out of Goodfellas.

Danielle sort of reminds me of GinaMarie Zimmerman from Big Brother 15.

It's a tacky cast. Rife with fake boobs, bulbous lips, botched noses, and ignorance.

R45 omg YES!

her look and accent

I wouldn't be shocked if they knew each other

^ Yeah, she's originally from Staten Nuyland

I just wanna see more of the hunky Mozzarella Guy.

Enough with the wrinkled, saggy burnt skin from the husbands. Frank needs to keep his shirt on. Dolores's new bf looks like the Pillsbury dough boy.

Frank is delusional as fuck. At 1 time he had an amazing bodybuilder physique but that is no more. His pecs have sagged in and his gut has spilled out but he still thinks he's in competition shape. He looked obscene in that photoshoot

something about Danielle's story for why she's not talking with her brother isn't adding up. It cannot simply be about her blocking him on instagram for making fun of her and him kicking her out of the wedding for being overbearing towards his wife when planning the ceremony

Danielle is giving me season 3 Theresa vibes. The ambition, the discord in her family and dressing up her dortar like a mini me. I don't know her brother but I'm on his side.

Louie is like a cartoon character. I just can't take him seriously. Just another grifter in the bravo universe.

Haven't watched in years.

Is Albie still trying to fuck Dolores' son?

R54 no but Brandi Glanville tried to fuck his mother.

Louie is just blowing smoke up Theresa's ass.

I'm very much looking forward to Louie getting caught in some illegal business activity, taking Teresa down with him, and watching her lose it all. It couldn't happen to a nastier piece of garbage.

[quote}Louie is just blowing smoke up Theresa's ass.

Ah, that explains why he always looks like a burn victim.

Bravo ran a season 2/early season 3 marathon yesterday. Everyone looked so different with their old faces.

This series is so confusing and annoying. Everyone grasping for center stage. I watch and think "what the hell is going on?" as they all yammer on about their petty grievances.

the gays LOVE Joe Gorga

also not shown in this clip is Matt saying Gorga was his #1 and Evan his #2 for the calendar shoot

R61 Joe's such a nauseating panderer. I really can't stand that bloated midget.

R61 The thing about Joe Gorga is that he loves to play and pretend like he's "down the gays" because it gives him attention and good press, but the truth is if a gay guy ever made a serious move on him, he'd run for the hills and tell Melissa some "fag" tried to stick his tongue down his throat or cop a feel of his dick.

I've been reading here for years that Joe and Melissa are both bi (along with Melissa's brothers-in-law).

R64 I don't believe it for a second. They're both standard issue Jersey trash cosplaying as classy people.

Not long after Melissa got on the show, the Enquirer ran a story claiming she had a girlfriend in high school. One of the RH blogs claimed she was also fucking a female producer at one point as insurance against getting fired.

R66 Well, if it's from the National Enquirer, it must be true!

Nah, I'm not buyin' it. She's trash, all right, but I don't see her licking pussy.

R67. Who said she was the one doin' the licking. I can see her and Joe swinging with other couples.

R68 Fan fiction.

They're both just typical Jersey Guido-Guidesse trash.

Frank looked awful! Like cirrhotic awful. His belly is so distended. That's so far beyond just a middle-aged paunch. I'm guessing all those years of steroid abuse, and very likely alcohol abuse, have taken their toll. The fact that he just got out of the hospital for bowel blockage tells me there's something serious going on with him.

But what kills me is that he has this awful bowel issue that requires hospitalization, and as soon as he's out, he heads to the bar with the guys, downs about six shots, and stuffs nothing but greasy, fat-filled foods into his face.

Fucking idiot.

Oh, please, Joey G is a closet case if there ever was one! His real issue with Tre is his competitiveness with her over Joe Giudice, whom he was clearly in love with!

What is Louis on? He's also clearly doing the most he can to make sure Tre relies solely on him. He clearly hates Melissa more than Joe Giudice ever did.

Jackie should thank her lucky stars she's on the show in any capacity. They clearly only kept her because Evan is the only husband that is remotely attractive.

I don't get the big fuss over the Joisey hubbies. Evan is not only the most attractive but also the sweetest. The rest are douchebags.

They’re all ugly. Evan only looks attractive because the others are that ugly. Look at the don with his whole face. The beard is doing a lot of natural photoshopping because Evan is just as hit with the ugly stick as the others.

I don’t know what it is with people in Jersey, but they need to stop their love affair with the sun and start one with a bottle of moisturizer. Also, the fillers have got to stop.

The Gorgas are trash and this will be their last season - GOOD! They have no storyline outside outside of Teresa who at least does things. You don’t have to like her, but the bitch is the show because the cast makes it that way by being boring as shit and resenting her for it.

no one is trashier on this show than Teresa

can't wait until her relationship with scammer Luis falls apart

As much as I dislike Teresa I give her alot of credit for paying off her debts and raising her daughters by herself. None of those girls would dare step out of line.

[quote]The Gorgas are trash and this will be their last season - GOOD! They have no storyline outside outside of Teresa who at least does things.

What things does Tre do? Most of her storylines, aside from her penchant for fucking men who are grifters, have revolved around her fighting with her brother.

R77 Gia does coke in the bathroom.

lmao at Rachel exposing Jennifer "she called to apologize for saying I had a bad nose job and talked about how she wasn't happy with her own bad nose job:" and then started bashing Dolores

and then Margaret's friend Jennifer exposed Jennifer again by saying she first called for a referral on marriage therapy but then started trashing Margaret

did Jennifer not realize Rachel is friends with Dolores and the other Jennifer is good friends with Margaret?

R80 Too much math in that post.

[quote] did Jennifer not realize Rachel is friends with Dolores and the other Jennifer is good friends with Margaret?

Of course she did. It got the reaction she wanted and will drive story most likely throughout this season.

As much as I'm not a Jennifer fan, she knows what's she doing and what she needs to do to stay on the show and possible overshadow her BFF Teresa.

Teresa is fading into the background. Jennifer and the new additions to the cast are eclipsing her.

I hate how more and more as the seasons go on, Teresa's daughters are getting involved in the storylines. I don't mind seeing them referenced if they have their own kid problems but I don't want to see Gia and Gabriela mouthing off to Joe and Melissa

R84 You can tell Gia's gonna be a colossal cunt just like her mom.

So tired of Teresa's fucking "love bubble."

Her housewarming party was peak Jersey tackiness.

Jackie is right-the new Danielle dresses horribly

and her husband while cute, has moobs

R87 Danielle's husband isn't all that cute, but compare to the other husbands, he stands out more.

And yes, those moobs are unfortunate. He really shouldn't wear those t-shirts that just accentuate them.

I wonder if he's recently lost some weight and has "sag."

[quote]and her husband while cute, has moobs

He’s Mr. Square Tits.

The new women are a flop and Marge is a psycho stuck in high school counting how many friends she has against the actual popular girls. What a nightmare.

the new Danielle really brings the Staten Island to the cast. She's trash. A toddler isn't going to remember all that money spent on her bday party

Margaret vs. Jennifer is the gift that keeps on giving. Jennifer is insecure and always wants to win but she'll never win against a wordsmith like Margaret

was not expecting to see Mark Zunino on here. He's a real designer who has made dresses for the most famous ladies

why work with Teresa?

R92 $$$$$$$. The real question is why would Mark want to be filmed with Teresa.

God, that Barbie birthday party was pure Jersey trash. And to make it even trashier, it was held in Staten Island, for God's sake!

When parents who put on these ridiculously over the top events for their kids who still have wobbly little knees, it's never about the children. It's about the parents trying to convince themselves - and everyone else - that they're great parents. Danielle is a pathetic "all that glitters" mom. I see her pushing that poor homely daughter of hers into kiddie pageants in the not-too-distant future.

And speaking of homely kids, can we talk for a minute about Rachel's daughter? She certainly has a "special needs" air about her.

I think Mark Zunino is originally from NJ or Staten Island. He apprenticed with Nolan Miller from [italic]Dynasty[/italic] and has a very glitzy aesthetic.

That Barbie party was cheap looking. It was no match for Taylor's MAD HATTER birthday party for Kennedy.

so Margaret's tea on Bill is correct that he spends a lot of time at home away from the family

it seems Bill and Jennifer have a horrible marriage and don't really love each other. She's still holding onto the affair he had but also criticizes him as a husband and father. She also hates that he tells her when she's wrong regarding drama with the other ladies. I don't see how they can last

and now Jennifer admits she smokes weed at night when the kids go to bed

she clearly does it because she's so unhappy with her home life. She should just stop trying to create the illusion that she lives a traditional Turkish family life.

Who here would love to eat Joe Gorga’s ass? I have to figure out a way to do that. I bet he’d love it. I don’t know how to find him.

R99 Blech. Oily and smelly.

Hard pass.

Have Joe G and Joe G ever had sex? Or rimmed?

I loathe Margaret. Obviously her stepkids do, too.

[quote]And speaking of homely kids, can we talk for a minute about Rachel's daughter? She certainly has a "special needs" air about her.

like...I...like...can't even..don't...I mean....wait, what has...have one thing got, I meant, you... have got to be kidding, right...her dawter, are you kidding me...wait....what?

Bill clearly can’t stand Jennifer. (And who could blame him?) I’m surprised he hasn’t pulled a Kelsey Grammer and told Jen that helping her be on the show is his parting gift to her and walked.

The only time Bill looks happy is when he's with the other husbands.

I wonder if Bill sticks around because of the kids? It was sad to see his little girl clinging to him during that long ass boring baseball game. The younger kids are probably afraid he'll walk out after they learned about the affair. He looks miserable and Jennifer is such a bitch. It Bill walks it could be good for Jennifer though. She could get some healthy support and perhaps put her anger and bitterness behind her.

He's probably still cheating anyway.

Danielle has tried to be famous for YEARS

internet sleuths found her way back on True Life: I'm a Staten Island Girl

then she moved to LA trying to get into acting

she looks SO different but the voice is the same

this site won't let us link tik tok but do a google search and it comes up very quickly

At least Danielle is lively and entertaining. She understands the assignment and brings it.

R108 I don't find her entertaining. I find her annoying. Tired Jersey girl schtick.

I really didn't need to know that Margaret's husband wipes her ass.

They tried really hard to make it look like Dolores' charity softball event drew a huge crowd, but it actually looked like about 50 people showed up, and most of them were probably friends and family of the Bravo crew.

[quote] Tired Jersey girl schtick.

More like tired Staten Island girl schtick.

[quote] I really didn't need to know that Margaret's husband wipes her ass.

And just how did you come to learn this very personal fact?

Front to back?

R113 She talked about it on the most recent episode. She had wrist surgery, so she's somewhat incapacitated.

Margaret needs a Toto.

Again, I ask: have Joe G and Joe G ever had sex? Or rimmed?

Does J. Gorga like to sit on face?

[quote] And just how did you come to learn this very personal fact?

Margaret said that on this week's episode that Joe has to wipe her ass.

"Pay attention Please!"

[quote]Who here would love to eat Joe Gorga’s ass? I have to figure out a way to do that. I bet he’d love it. I don’t know how to find him.

The info about him was posted years ago on DL. Go to his gym and catch him in the steam. He's ravenous.

Do you really think that he'd let me eat out his ass if I approached him at the gym?

R119 - Paulie

Oh, why didn't you say so. Paulie, get right in there.

Fuck you Paulie. First you want my ex and now my man's ass???????

Step aside Cohen! I’d love to tap Joe!

Are all these people really this fat and red in real life or is it just my TV?

Jennifer's shore house is ugly. How could she not redecorate?

Jennifer is so insecure she had Bill get a Jersey Shore property just to fit in with the cool kids on the show. She's stuck in high school mode.

Don't follow this television show, but know Teresa Guidice from local NYC news. It appears recently her Mercedes Benz was stolen from her home in New Jersey.

NJ is sort of car theft capital of Tri-State area, especially of high end or much sought after vehicles. Things are stolen in NYC, Westchester or elsewhere and make their way to NJ where often are shipped overseas to waiting customers.