Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Let’s be annoying shit: Part II

I’m the new, bright-as-the-sun LED car headlights burning holes in your retinas.

by Anonymousreply 39March 20, 2023 4:14 PM

Part I

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 1December 21, 2022 1:49 PM

I’m the positive Covid test and the negative Covid test fifteen minutes apart.

by Anonymousreply 2December 21, 2022 1:59 PM

I'm the bro at the gym who "reserves" spaces for his workouts by leaving towels, water bottles, and equipment on multiple benches so he can be sure no one else uses the equipment and "interrupts" his sacred routine.

by Anonymousreply 3December 21, 2022 2:19 PM

I’m the fucking app you need to download to do ANYTHING anymore.

by Anonymousreply 4December 21, 2022 2:51 PM

I have to wear sunglasses when I go out at night to walk to the gym because of those damn car lights being so blinding.

by Anonymousreply 5December 21, 2022 3:41 PM

R3, what's a gym?

by Anonymousreply 6December 21, 2022 8:19 PM

Adding to R5: What is with these fucking LED car headlights? They're comparable to normal BRIGHT headlights. Blinding.

by Anonymousreply 7December 22, 2022 2:09 AM

My eyes crossed and I thought this said "Let's Be A Morning Shit".

I'm coffee

by Anonymousreply 8December 22, 2022 2:38 AM

Those LED headlights are the fucking WORST! My house is at a somewhat busy intersection and we've started closing our living room curtains at night, because I'd all three bright headlights shining in. The old headlights were barely noticeable.

by Anonymousreply 9December 22, 2022 5:21 AM

Horny cicadas. STFU!

by Anonymousreply 10December 22, 2022 5:34 AM

The headlights are too damn bright!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 11December 22, 2022 1:03 PM
Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 12December 22, 2022 1:04 PM

I'm your doordash / uber driver picking up your order and then driving to the opposite end of the city with it, sitting in the same place for 20 minutes until I finally drop off your food which is either cold, stale or soggy at this point. And I'll leave it in the worst place possible.

by Anonymousreply 13December 25, 2022 8:02 AM

Attached to r13, I’m the tip that you cannot change in spite of absolutely horrid service by the driver.

by Anonymousreply 14December 28, 2022 2:25 PM

I'm DoorDash customer service who offers you a $5 credit for the $40 worth of useless food because of the situation at R13.

by Anonymousreply 15December 28, 2022 2:37 PM

I'm the lazy fuck who can't get his own damn food.

by Anonymousreply 16December 28, 2022 2:43 PM

I'm the 13 hour day that was just worked by the person ordering the aforementioned food.

by Anonymousreply 17December 30, 2022 2:04 AM

R16 i’m the DoorDash customer who doesn’t want to lose their parking space on their street and there’s no parking at the restaurant. So there. If I lived in suburbia it would be a different story.

by Anonymousreply 18December 30, 2022 2:10 AM

I’m the Christian assholes that must set off loud fireworks for over an hour from 12 a.m. till after 1 a.m. Christmas morning. Merry Christmas!

by Anonymousreply 19December 30, 2022 2:12 AM

I'm an "Expired" thread on DL.

by Anonymousreply 20December 30, 2022 2:38 AM

[quote]I’m the Christian assholes that must set off loud fireworks for over an hour from 12 a.m. till after 1 a.m. Christmas morning. Merry Christmas!

I'm the non/any denominational neighbors who will be setting off fireworks at midnight tonight (NYE).

by Anonymousreply 21December 31, 2022 7:04 PM

I'm the doordash customer who doesn't give me their gate code or answer the phone wasting my time and depressing my income

by Anonymousreply 22December 31, 2022 8:33 PM

I'm the retiree filling out his lottery slip at the customer service desk holding up the line of people with legitimate customer service issues.

by Anonymousreply 23February 17, 2023 6:40 AM

I'm a stupid meme posted on a group text, and everyone "liking" it.

by Anonymousreply 24March 18, 2023 3:15 PM

I'm Karen Silkwood and I was killed by the lights OP mentions.

by Anonymousreply 25March 18, 2023 3:18 PM

I’m the horrible person who must back into a parking space. It’s my thing.

by Anonymousreply 26March 18, 2023 3:30 PM

I'm the driver who doesn't signal when I turn or change lanes. It's just not me.

by Anonymousreply 27March 18, 2023 3:32 PM

I’m the greasy layer of skin on your cream of pea soup.

by Anonymousreply 28March 18, 2023 3:39 PM

I'm the chirping 'low battery' alert on the smoke detector outside your bedroom door, that goes off at 3:30 am on a Saturday morning - startling you, and sending your dogs into a frenzy (peeing and shitting all over the floors).

by Anonymousreply 29March 18, 2023 4:05 PM

I'm admissions at any ER. I'm the most relaxed person you will ever meet. I all but yawn and stretch in the face of your little emergency. If you're collapsed on the floor, I will calmly advise that we are admitting people in order of severity. Next!

by Anonymousreply 30March 19, 2023 11:37 AM

I am the person standing at the edge of the curb at the crosswalk, looking at my smartphone, while you are stopped at a stop sign on your way to work. See, I want you to wait another minute and study me to decide if I’m going to look up and cross the street, or continue fiddling with my cellphone. When you do pull forward, I can throw my arms up in righteous indignation. “You in your f’ing car!”

by Anonymousreply 31March 19, 2023 12:06 PM

I'm the urban cyclist. I'll bitch and insult all drivers and pedestrians, while breaking each and every rule in the book.

by Anonymousreply 32March 19, 2023 12:14 PM

It's called parallel parking, R26.

by Anonymousreply 33March 19, 2023 12:31 PM

R32 Remember, when you sail through the red light and get knocked off your bike by a taxi screeching to a halt, it’s the Taxi Driver’s fault.

by Anonymousreply 34March 19, 2023 1:15 PM

I'm the cursor that jumps to the thread above the one you want to open on the DL menu.

by Anonymousreply 35March 19, 2023 1:18 PM

R34 Yes - Judge Judy rules this way all the time. She believes if you're behind the wheel of a car, you have to have control at all times and be alert to situations like these.

by Anonymousreply 36March 19, 2023 2:53 PM

20 years ago it was the blue xenon headlights people bitched about.

Are the LEDs worse?

I wouldn't know because I've aged out of driving at night.

by Anonymousreply 37March 19, 2023 5:52 PM


by Anonymousreply 38March 19, 2023 10:33 PM

[quote] It's called parallel parking, [R26].

I am not talking about parallel parking. I am talking about the douchebags who back into spaces in parking lots and the like.

by Anonymousreply 39March 20, 2023 4:14 PM
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.


Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!