Let’s be annoying shit: Part II

Part I

I’m the positive Covid test and the negative Covid test fifteen minutes apart.

I'm the bro at the gym who "reserves" spaces for his workouts by leaving towels, water bottles, and equipment on multiple benches so he can be sure no one else uses the equipment and "interrupts" his sacred routine.

I’m the fucking app you need to download to do ANYTHING anymore.

I have to wear sunglasses when I go out at night to walk to the gym because of those damn car lights being so blinding.

R3, what's a gym?

Adding to R5: What is with these fucking LED car headlights? They're comparable to normal BRIGHT headlights. Blinding.

My eyes crossed and I thought this said "Let's Be A Morning Shit".

I'm coffee

Those LED headlights are the fucking WORST! My house is at a somewhat busy intersection and we've started closing our living room curtains at night, because I'd all three bright headlights shining in. The old headlights were barely noticeable.

Horny cicadas. STFU!

The headlights are too damn bright!

I'm your doordash / uber driver picking up your order and then driving to the opposite end of the city with it, sitting in the same place for 20 minutes until I finally drop off your food which is either cold, stale or soggy at this point. And I'll leave it in the worst place possible.

Attached to r13, I’m the tip that you cannot change in spite of absolutely horrid service by the driver.

I'm DoorDash customer service who offers you a $5 credit for the $40 worth of useless food because of the situation at R13.

I'm the lazy fuck who can't get his own damn food.

I'm the 13 hour day that was just worked by the person ordering the aforementioned food.

R16 i’m the DoorDash customer who doesn’t want to lose their parking space on their street and there’s no parking at the restaurant. So there. If I lived in suburbia it would be a different story.

I’m the Christian assholes that must set off loud fireworks for over an hour from 12 a.m. till after 1 a.m. Christmas morning. Merry Christmas!

I'm an "Expired" thread on DL.

[quote]I’m the Christian assholes that must set off loud fireworks for over an hour from 12 a.m. till after 1 a.m. Christmas morning. Merry Christmas!

I'm the non/any denominational neighbors who will be setting off fireworks at midnight tonight (NYE).

I'm the doordash customer who doesn't give me their gate code or answer the phone wasting my time and depressing my income

I'm the retiree filling out his lottery slip at the customer service desk holding up the line of people with legitimate customer service issues.

I'm a stupid meme posted on a group text, and everyone "liking" it.

I'm Karen Silkwood and I was killed by the lights OP mentions.

I’m the horrible person who must back into a parking space. It’s my thing.

I'm the driver who doesn't signal when I turn or change lanes. It's just not me.

I’m the greasy layer of skin on your cream of pea soup.

I'm the chirping 'low battery' alert on the smoke detector outside your bedroom door, that goes off at 3:30 am on a Saturday morning - startling you, and sending your dogs into a frenzy (peeing and shitting all over the floors).

I'm admissions at any ER. I'm the most relaxed person you will ever meet. I all but yawn and stretch in the face of your little emergency. If you're collapsed on the floor, I will calmly advise that we are admitting people in order of severity. Next!

I am the person standing at the edge of the curb at the crosswalk, looking at my smartphone, while you are stopped at a stop sign on your way to work. See, I want you to wait another minute and study me to decide if I’m going to look up and cross the street, or continue fiddling with my cellphone. When you do pull forward, I can throw my arms up in righteous indignation. “You in your f’ing car!”

I'm the urban cyclist. I'll bitch and insult all drivers and pedestrians, while breaking each and every rule in the book.

It's called parallel parking, R26.

R32 Remember, when you sail through the red light and get knocked off your bike by a taxi screeching to a halt, it’s the Taxi Driver’s fault.

I'm the cursor that jumps to the thread above the one you want to open on the DL menu.

R34 Yes - Judge Judy rules this way all the time. She believes if you're behind the wheel of a car, you have to have control at all times and be alert to situations like these.

20 years ago it was the blue xenon headlights people bitched about.

Are the LEDs worse?

I wouldn't know because I've aged out of driving at night.

Bumped

[quote] It's called parallel parking, [R26].

I am not talking about parallel parking. I am talking about the douchebags who back into spaces in parking lots and the like.