A question for straight women from a lesbian

DLers the cute UPS driver smiled at me when I said thank you for the package. Does that mean he wants me to suck his dick?

There is a difference.

I'm just a gay man, but I've neve heard a straight woman say that to another straight woman. It's as odd as two straight guys saying it to each other. Hopefully you said it in an obviously joking manner. Just be sure you don't say it again.

Nope, but I also wouldn't think anything of it if you said that without some more body language. But I'm from an older generation, so I don't really worry about that kind of stuff.

I'm a straight woman and no, women don't have the ability to make me blush - not in that way that men do. That said, this probably isn't a big deal or something you need to worry about.

Blushing isn't a sexual response. I don't think your supervisor is thinking you are either flirting or joking. Blushing is just a person's response - especially a shy person's response - to receiving a compliment. Don't read too much into it.

I would not worry about it, it's a common saying when someone compliments you and doesn't mean you're actually blushing. Just that you are a little embarrassed by the compliments because you are humble.

Thanks for the responses. I should add that I have developed an attraction to her without meaning to. I know she is married and nothing will ever happen. I made a comment once how her kids are cute like her. I am trying to figure out if I have told on myself.

You're fine. Relax but also chill in the work crushes, you know?

OP you just gave me my New Year resolution---make a pretty girl blush.

Pretty ambitious goal for someone like me, a disaster lesbian who is shy, withdrawn, dowdy and lacking all confidence. But, reach for the stars, right?

I am trying to get over it. It is a little annoying. I am attracted to so few people I have wondered at times if I am asexual. Of all the people to start crushing on.

[quote] I made a comment once how her kids are cute like her.

I mean, the blushing thing's fine. That's just an expression. But I wouldn't say any more stuff like the quote above. No reason to be commenting on your boss's looks.

R12 yes, good point. Women have it hard enough commanding respect and overcoming objectification in the workplace, especially in power positions. Plus it's rude to comment on people's looks in general.

Is that comment enough for her to realize I am into women?

R11 not to armchair diagnose, but...have you considered that you could fear intimacy, and/or have avoidance issues? That's the case for me and many others. and one of the ways I clocked it was that I tend(ed) to crush on people who are faithfully or longterm married, who work above me, who live far away, who are famous, who are off-limits in some (non criminal/non amoral) way etc. but ignore or dismiss decent nice-looking single people I know locally/socially and may be compatible with.

I have also made numerous comments showing respect for the job she does

Could be, R11. I do not know if I am relationship material. I am damaged.

Yeah, no more comments on her looks. Just ask yourself, what if a guy did/said it?

If you think it worthy of HR from a guy then the same goes for you.

Blushing comes easy.

Flushing takes some work.

Ok. So the final verdict is I have told on myself and not to make anymore comments like that? Again, I have made numerous complimentary comments on her job performance so I do think she realizes I respect her as my boss.

As a gay man, there’s something I’ve always wondered about lesbians. Do the large husky butch ones have smelly vaginas?

Yes women can make each other blush without it being romantic/sexual. Obviously it depends on the context but if she reads into it she's paranoid.

That sounds like obvious flirting to me

Does it matter if the blushing comment happened after the comment about her looks?

The conversation is normal your just self aware cuz you like her . You sound Demi.. not asexual. Don’t push it with your flirtiness… and above all else don’t be a creeper.

Nope.

^ you’re R25

I think OP is saying she doesn’t want her boss to know she’s les and maybe developing a crush, but OP lowkey wants her to know. Lowkey very badly.

R20 I'd recommend to keep as professional and distant with her as you can, while remaining civil and friendly. This is both your profession, or at least your paid work, and she is not available to you as a partner. Respect you both, and leave it be.

Wait out your crush, too, it's just chemical and will fade and blink out in months to a year. Find someone else to talk to and vibe with, or otherwise if that's too unfeasible redirect your fantasies to a fictional character or celebrity for expediency's sake.

Yeah, I would guess you were into women from those comments. If it were me, I'd put them in the category of "harmless crush", but I would be able to tell. It's okay, people get crushes, but do keep it professional and try to get out more with friends and women who might actually be in your dating pool.

Also, I'm convinced that younger people, who were already having issues because of the whole social-media thing, are really, really screwed up socially because of the pandemic.

It's fine not to be attracted to most people--you just have to find someone with whom you connect. Figure out what it is about your boss that you like and then try to find it in someone who's available, shares your persuasion and isn't your boss.

I've blushed when someone I respect gave me a (non-sexual) compliment -- particularly if I felt I didn't deserve it.

But that so seldom happens these days...

No. Another woman can’t make me blush. What sort of compliment was she paying you?. I’m going to assume that it was work related. I was going to say that’s no big deal that you said it in that context…..BUT….THEN, I read your other comment at r8. You need it rein it in OP! That’s the one that would have tipped me off and now it’s just going to be compounded with every new compliment/ flirtation you initiate. A straight woman can immediately tell when a lesbian woman is flirting/attracted to her and you are crossing into the zone of making it really freaking obvious that you are feeling attracted. Since she is straight and there is no apparent hope, and she is your supervisor, I suggest you cool it with the small comments like that. Why embarrass yourself and make your work relationship uncomfortable? It’s headed that way if you keep it up.

I think an isolated comment like that is OK. But you've listed 3 different compliments (blush, good looking kids look like boss, respect her as a boss). It's maybe veering into kiss-ass territory, even if you don't mean it to.

I think what I am trying to figure out is has she figured it because it seems like she has and she likes knowing I think she is hot. Not because she is interested, but because she likes feeling attractive and it is a way to motivate me. There seems to be very light hearted, harmless flirting going on. Or it could just be in my mind.

Used to lesbian-flirt with the daughter (a single mom about my age) of the Boomer boss I had at my large job, and she would happily and genuinely flirt back despite having two kids by different men and apparently being kind of a straight whore. Sometimes she'd come into the store with her kids and let them loose while she flirted with me first. I think she did it for an ego boost (as R34 points out, straight/bi women love this because they've been conned by society into thinking their youthful hotness is all that matters) and a hit of excitement in her boring breeder life, and to get back at her parents (the business owners).

If it had been a good job that I cared about, I wouldn't have gone there or played along, but because the work was literally shopbottoming (if dykes can do such a thing), the pay was dogshit and insulting (I was desperate and stupid at the time), and I found out while working there that I was being financially exploited, I decided to just mess with her right back and enjoy myself (while quiet quitting). We'd just trade innuendos over coffee while I ignored customers lol. It was the only fun memorable part about that awful job. Glad I escaped without fucking her, though, because she and her family were crazy as well as grifting.

Are you the OP at r34? If it is you OP you are completely imagining what you just said at r34. You’re starting to sound creepy and a man doing this would have my creeper antennas way up so you need to cool it. If she’s not interested in you your flirtation in the office could become embarrassing for you both. You are reading into her thoughts like you know them.

Tell me op, this isn’t the first time you’ve gotten like this have you? At some point you’re going to cross the line she has in her head over this stuff being harmless vs being embarrassing or a problem for her. . It will end in tears (for you)

[quote] she likes knowing I think she is hot

Who wouldn't like someone complimenting them.

I'd worry more about yourself and the impact it's having on you.

If she's straight, you and she will never have more than a boss / subordinate WORK relationship.

Meanwhile, you're getting worked up, becoming more and more infatuated and it's unrequited.

OP sounds illiterate. Jesus fuck. Learn some grammar, girl.

“ straight/bi women love this because they've been conned by society into thinking their youthful hotness is all that matters) and a hit of excitement in her boring breeder life, and to get back at her parents (the business owners).” r35

Third is so totally not the experience or feelings of me or any straight woman I know. There seems to be some assumptions that you lesbian ladies can read out simplistic minds - you can’t. You’re off base thinking we all are what you’re describing.

^This^ not “third” (typo)

What city is this happening in? Peoria?

R39 if you're 100% Kinsey 0 straight, why are you even here? What do you want? And why do you think you should be heard in this matter? This board is for gays/bis (women and men) only. ONTD! & Tattle & Mumsnet are a-calling you...

For that matter, why did OP post this thread asking for straight womens' opinions in the first place? Gurl the inflexible heteros aren't supposed to come around here at all, let alone having a seat to answer your cheapass Quora reject posts. And if you aren't even sure if you're lesbian or not, head on over to LChat and bother them trying to figure it out, since you refuse to avail yourself of a much-needed therapist. We have more important things to discuss.

I am not reading her thoughts. I am observing her actions. A creepy man would make this something serious. Like I said, if anything is going on it is very light hearted harmless flirting. I was so bored and curious so I thought I would ask dl.

[quote] This board is for gays/bis (women and men) only.

I love how it puts women first. DL is a forum for *gay men.*

[quote] Gurl the inflexible heteros aren't supposed to come around here at all,

EXHAUSTING. After gay men, the most common readers of DL are straight women.

I am sure I am lesbian. I thought there were open minded straight women here.

R42 I was asked as a straight woman. Why can’t you handle that? You can’t handle the answer OP was given? Jesus. You’re so angry.

Look up some old polls too - straight women comprise about 12-15 % of datalounge so go fuck yourself or learn to understand others’ points of view.

Well OP, don't just sit there like a bump on a pickle; tell us, were you flirting with her? Just a little bit?

Thank you r45. As a long time datalounger who has never had a run in for being “an inflexible Hetero” or told to leave for that matter I don’t think I am in the wrong for being just one of the number of straight women who answered op’s question as requested.

My POV is step away from the flirtation if you know it has nowhere to go. There is a work relationship to respect and manage. You haven’t gone to far if you don’t continue doing it more. Hopefully that doesn’t offend the easily offended r42. And by the way I have never asked a lesbian or get “why are you even here” in any other area of my life as you have tonight.

R42 Yes, Golden Girls worshiping turd. Let's discuss the totally fucking debunked Kinsey scale. Fucking dinosaur.

Probably a little, R47. If it bothered her, why did she keep making the type of over the top comments she made initially? If she had stopped, I would know she did not like it. Again, it seems like she knows and likes others finding her attractive without having to worry about anything serious happening. Nothing creepy about it.

It depends whether she already knew you are a lesbian. Also be extra careful - don’t play with fire, especially at work. Cheers

[quote] I was asked as a straight woman. Why can’t you handle that? You can’t handle the answer OP was given? Jesus. You’re so angry.

Straight woman jumps to wrong conclusion, makes it all about her, tries insidiously to reinforce an ugly tired stereotype about gay women, and caps it off by invoking Jesus. Mother Creature getting slain in the spirit because someone asked her an EST.

The jokes really do write themselves.

R11 Why did you use the word people instead of women? Twice.

R42 coming in hot again at r52 but failing miserably. Time to use the “bitch be blocked” spray on that one. Bye!